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High School Reunions — Facebook's Newest Victim?
Hugh Pickens writes "For sheer social awkwardness, it's hard to beat finally seeing those people in person that you never liked in high school but are 'friends' with on Facebook. The NY Times reports that both attendance and the number of high school reunions held have dropped in recent years — thanks, some say, to Facebook and similar sites, nobody really has to lose touch anymore. 'There was a Facebook page for my 20-year college reunion, which took place this May,' says Deborah Dietzler. 'I looked at it a couple of times and it didn't seem like anyone I knew would be there, so I lost interest.' 'Social networking has robbed us of our nostalgia,' adds Michael Fox, who attended his 20-year high school reunion in November at a bar in Larchmont, NY to see the adult version of his classmates but was disappointed to find there was little he didn't already know because of Facebook. Others say the familiarity bred by social networking enhance the high school reunion experience.
'It's enticing. It's like a little preview, seeing everyone's life online,'
says Holly Goshin. 'And whether you're happy that someone is not doing as well as you or you're happy that they look amazing, you get to see it all in person. Then you can move on with your life.'"
I don't go to my high school reunions because the people who are for the most part people I am not interested in meeting again. I went to the first couple and none of the people I had any interest in seeing were there, so I stopped going. I'm not on Facebook (and I am pretty sure that neither are the classmates I would be interested in talking to again).
The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted. James Madison
So? It seems like every few days we get some article from somewhere that basically amounts to "things are different now". It's also bonus points when the thing that's changed was only something Baby Boomers really experienced, and they act like it was a universal, awesome thing that OH NO THE INTERNETS KILLING NOW.
"Then you can move on with your life."
Or you can just move on with your life regardless of Facebook.
I don't believe in High School reunions nor to I subscribe to Facebook. If I liked a person from school, I'd still be in touch with them and if we lost touch, then it was time to move on. Facebook is the same thing. I hear about all these people "Friend" each other on Facebook only to "Unfriend" each other because either they realize they still don't like each other or there is nothing in common.
It's all a waste of time.
Stop looking into the past. Leave Facebook behind and go make new friends that know you for who you are today, not who you were yesterday.
Life takes interesting turns, but the most interest is when you're off the beaten path.
I stopped going to school reunions long before facebook existed. And by stopped, I mean never went.
We recently had a reunion put together via a Facebook group. About 40 people confirmed as "Attending," yet only 9 people showed up to the event total.
This article seems like old hat at this point. When my wife brought up the idea of going to her 10 year reunion a few years back, I asked her what she was going to learn at said reunion that she doesn't already know from her Facebook news feed.
It's also bonus points when the thing that's changed was only something Baby Boomers really experienced, and they act like it was a universal,.
Not saying I give a shit that no one cares about high school reunions anymore, but they were not a baby boomer thing. Class reunions have been around a couple hundred years, and they've been commonplace in the US since the late 19th century.
Your criticisms of Facebook are all valid. But when you say that if people had something to tell you then they'd use email/text, the problem is that Facebook is replacing email and text as the primary written social communication media. People are just using these less and less to tell others about that party Saturday night or whatever. They say: "Oh what, you didn't see it on Facebook?". No, I didn't see it. I'm not on FB either and I pay a social price for it. That's plain wrong of course but that's how it is.
1) High school HOSTED reunions are becoming every day less because people are more likely to relocate these days, making it harder for schools to locate them and let them know about it.
2) In my experience, Facebook has actually increased high school reunions, without the need of the school inviting anyone back. Classmates just find eachother and plan their own reunions these days.
3) Reconnecting with classmates I dont ever want to see again was the reason I finally deleted my facebook account. There is a reason I never kept contact with them in the first place.
4) If your only reason to go to a school reunion is to be shocked at how the pretty girl is now fat and the sports guy is now a loser that just got off jail.... I think you belong in there because you didnt turn out too well either.
>Facebook is redundant
One thing we agree on. My account there is basically vestigial at this point, used only to communicate with people who don't know me on Twitter or Google Plus and I don't feel like texting.
That said, the first half of your post has nothing to do with the last half. I get that reuniting with someone after a long way away is a nice feeling, but, in terms specifically of high school Reunions, is largely a fake feeling. It's not "Oh, here's my long lost aunt/niece/brother/friend I haven't seen in years, lets catch up", it's "Oh, here's a bunch of people who happened to be born around the same time as me, most of whom I don't care about." Maybe I'm just cynical for my age (I'm only a few years younger than you, born in '85), but most of the people I care about from high school I kept in touch with. The rest were noise to my life.
Yeah, but the spectacle of what we call a High School/College reunion now is largely a product of the Boomers.
So Facebook robbed us of our nostalgia?
Not, say, that time machine you keep riding around in?
I mean, why resort to renunions when you can actually go back and watch the actual high school prom in person?
Well.. maybe. Or Maybe not. But Definitely not sort of.
I was overseas on a trip when the last big anniversary high school reunion happened. Frankly, I was relieved. These things are much loved by insurance salesmen and other parasitic networking types. One of them, who I never liked at school, had the gall to telephone me and ask for a donation to the old school (aka private militaristic fascist dungeon) that I was incarcerated in all those precious years. No thanks says I, claiming quite accurately at the time that I wouldn't spare any coin.
Reunions, of any sort, be they class or long lost family members or a friend you lost touch with and didn't see for decades, are part of the human experience.
"The human experience"? You sound like you're trying to sell something. It's one possible part of the human experience, but it isn't needed to make you a human.
I just don't need ONE more account to check, password to remember, privacy settings to manage
So instead of having one more account to check that does everything, you have to make 15 phone calls or type 15 texts, or tell the same story 15 times. Sounds like an efficient use of time to me..
Facebook isn't preferred for one on one communications, but it is a great way to organise group meet ups without any hassle or phone/texts costs. For me and my friends, Facebook has taken over from our own forums for organising stuff just because it's so convenient. Not to mention free (no, I don't care if some marketing people know how old I am or what I like to talk about..).
which is totally what she said
A friend of mine sent me an email link to a facebook page for my grade school graduation class where I found a discussion thread about me. Some of my former classmates were ridiculing the way I looked back then and ridiculing my current job.
It probably has nothing to do with the cost of travel increasing while people have less disposable income available. It must be Facebook's fault.
(disclaimer: I've never gone to a high school reunion, but I thought about going to the 15th, mostly for networking as I had been fired a few months earlier ... but they canceled that one)
Build it, and they will come^Hplain.
Gee, I don't know... could it be the fact that most people would find this an absolutely frivolous waste of money that would be better spent on a family vacation or basic expenses in a tight economy?
n/t
"I looked at it a couple of times and it didn't seem like anyone I knew would be there, so I lost interest."
Maybe that's the real issue? Everyone can check the RSVP list and see that nobody's really going, so nobody RSVPs, and so when people check the RSVP list it seems that nobody's going to go, and eventually everyone decides to just stay at home. In days of old you just gambled that there'd be enough people there for it to be worth your while. Maybe this is a more global effect of Facebook on event planning beyond reunions.
No kidding!!! What do you say at this point?
Its a social trend, not a tech trend.
Seems the cultural goal is to hang out with the last group of people you went to school with.
Maybe 50 years ago, for the majority of americans, that was high school.
Currently, for the majority of americans, the last group of people they went to school with would have been dropping out of freshman year of college. And the "reunion-industrial complex" is not offering "freshman year reunions".
The other cultural/social trend is class mixing was cool 20 years ago when I was wasting time in high school. So my gym classes were just whatever random bunch of frosh thru seniors showed up that hour. We were required to take 4 years of English class and the electives were whatever random bunch of juniors or seniors showed up for sci fi class, etc. First and second year chem and physics (and bio, although I never took bio) were just whatever random bunch of sophmore to senior kids who showed up. Art elective was photography, again, whatever freshman thru senior kids felt like signing up... I think the only "all senior" class I ever took in my senior year, was calculus. Sooo one of my best school friends was my physics lab partner, and he was a year older than I am. I met a girlfriend a year younger than me, in english class in my sophomore year. The kids who graduated the year I did, who were a tiny subset of the kids I went to school with? By and large, don't much care. They only made up 1/3 to 1/4 the students in my classes so they only made up 1/3 to 1/4 of my school friends.
What about the kids I hung out with? Well back before the illegal alien invasion (this was decades ago) teenagers could get jobs. And it seems I worked with mostly kids from the school across town. Weirdly enough, after graduating I noticed I dated more girls from the "other school" than from my own school, because I hung out with them at work, leading to after work dates, you get the idea... I was entering the .mil and 4 local schools funneled into one recruitment center and we had monthly get together social club type activities. I was friends with three future marines, an air force wanna be, and a navy dude, none of which graduated with me at my school the same year.
At least WRT "twentieth year reunions" or so, there is just no social point anymore. Thats why they're going away.
Trying to spin a social trend into a "tech story" just looks stupid.
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
We are losing touch with what it means to be human and have healthy relationships.
Honestly, I have no desire to see any of those jerkoffs. I am friends with my real friends, not the fake ones that later in life forgot how much of Dushanbe bags they were.
I think a lot of other people are the same way, Highschool was NOT the best part of life, why return to see people from a time in your life that does not matter?
College Alumni and Fraternity gatherings? sure. Hgihschool? Why waste time and air fare?
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
Well then, looks like I'll be the only one people will want to talk to at my high school reunion. And since one of my friends I do talk to on a daily basis does have facebook, he'll probably tell me about the invite if one appears.
I didn't like high school the first time around, why would I want to go through that particular brand of hell again? That's why I don't use Facebook.
... all of it suffering right now because all anyone wants to do anymore is fuck around on Facebook.
The word "victim" in the title is correct, though. Facebook destroys everything that is not Facebook. Small community web sites, forums, blogs, etc. and now things like high school reunions, local clubs and organizations, people going outside and looking up from their screens once in a while
I do hope this changes sometime soon.
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Do most people even really "peak" in high school anymore anyway? Most people go onto college now, and that's where you *really* get to have fun and make friends. The only people who still view high school as their glory days are a handful of losers who end up working down to the plant telling everyone for the hundredth time about how they scored that winning touchdown in the big game that no one even remembers.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Don't need to do it again. Decided that long before there was Facebook.
Out of a graduating class of 800+ (largish Los Angeles area high school) there are two or three people I care enough about that I continue to see, with or without a reunion.
And there are two or three people I'd kinda like to see; they disappeared long ago and haven't been to any of the reunions, so going to a reunion in the hope of seeing them seems like a waste of time.
My GenY/Echo Boom children went to a much smaller high school and are friends with more classmates on either side of their graduating class, and are in closer touch with more of their classmates, I suspect mainly through Facebook. I think they've indicated some interested in their five year reunions. Too early to say anything about their ten year reunions.
I graduated from high school in 1988, went away to college and have pretty much been away from my home town since then. I kept up with some of my high school friends for a few years, but I've made new and better friends since then. I got back in touch with a few high school friends on Facebook and we communicate from time to time and that's just perfect. I didn't go to either of my reunions (10 or 20 year) simply because I had no interest in going. It might have been nice to go out of morbid curiosity, but aside from that, I decided it was not worth the effort. Heck, it's been so long and I've had so many new and more exciting experiences that I barely remember anything about those 4 years (less than 10%) of my life. Things change, people. Get over it.
I used to think Facebook was pointless ... however, a friend convinced me to use it and I signed up. I actually like it ... yes, yes, yes, I know all about the supposedly "horrific" privacy violations and all of that jibberish. However, as someone mentioned above, I couldn't care less whether or not some marketing drone knows I like Whole Foods. Anything I post about or talk about on Facebook is something those people would have found out in some other way. With a little self control, and some common sense, you are not going to get yourself into trouble by using social media sites like Facebook. I have met many people on Facebook that I would not have met otherwise- and yes I have met the majority of the people on my friends list face-to-face, including the ones who live outside of the US.
...as was remarked in other comments, for people who do not want to be on Facebook. Or, as said above: "Facebook destroys everything that is not Facebook". Is there a remedy against Facebook taking over the lion's part of what many people consider as "social life" ? Can we bring Facebook down ?
Religous speak to God. Insane are spoken to by God. When all shut up, one can finally hear Shostakovich in peace
So it's the Walmart of the Internet.
"If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
"Oh, here's a bunch of people who happened to be born around the same time as me, most of whom I don't care about."
In other words, its like being excited about moving into a nursing home. Or a cemetery?
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
Of the ten or so ways you listed for people to contact you, how did you decide that number is the sweet spot and one more is redundant? Or is it simply not wanting to use Facebook, because the way you stated it you'll not be able to have another e-mail address, phone number, etc. Also, if you want to make a point that people on Facebook are childish, I suggest you not start your post with "No, you're just a douche."
So it's the Walmart of the Internet.
In other words, avoid at all costs?
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
Just have my 20th last month. First one I even bothered going to because I was constantly reminded of the invite list, and as more people signed up, more people wanted to. Everyone could message other people on the invite list and goad them into coming. I can't imagine that they would have even found a way to contact me otherwise. I can't see how Facebook is not good for reunions.
There is a cliche film/tv reunion where where everyone is vital, pretty, socially able and remembers lots of amusing stories about the "best time of their life" at school or university.
In practice the interesting people are too busy being interesting to attend, the "hot" people you remember from when they were 17 or 18 have now gained 30kg (4+ stone) and only want to talk about their children, or their problems, or their scumbag ex-partner. Even worse, the events themselves are frequently thinly-veiled fundraisers for the school/university to support causes that didn't exist when you were there, and don't care about since you moved away - a long, long way away.
So if FB has managed to start killing off reonions, then at least it's performing one social good.
politicians are like babies' nappies: they should both be changed regularly and for the same reasons
I missed my 10 year reunion, because the organizers only advertised it on a single social network that I wasn't part of. I saw some talk of a 15 year on Facebook, but it was mostly met with "meh".
There's only a handful of people from High School I'm really interested in seeing again, and they're not the type to do reunions, anyway.
What exactly is the human experience? If everyone had to experience the same thing every generation would have to discover fire and how to kill animals that are stronger than us. It seems more like the human experience is to take what the previous generation did and learned for granted and come up with new stuff. Eschewing reunions for facebook is no less human than going to school rather than foraging for food.
Unless you look like these people: http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/
Which in my opinion are real life zombies.
"If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
It's also bonus points when the thing that's changed was only something Baby Boomers really experienced
The geek has no sense of time
and, arguably, no social instincts whatever.
But there are things in this world best experienced off-line.
We have scrapbooks and photographs of family reunions and other gatherings that reach back deep into the nineteeth century
I am quite certain that with a bit of effort we could find some many earlier examples.
Yeah, but the spectacle of what we call a High School/College reunion now is largely a product of the Boomers.
Don't tell that to my parents. They were their HS class president and secretary, and organized their 5th reunion, then skipped it until their 50th. Now, it is every year (mind you, at this point it is just a large table at a restaurant, but...).
Baby boomers pioneered nothing but snorting coke at reunions, rather than drinking rum and coke, the use of non-medical marijuana, and the Beatles and Stones playing rather than Perry Como or Frank Sinatra (or Artie Shaw and Glen Miller, in parents' case).
First of all, the article doesn't seem to have anything to back it up except a few anecdotes. Second, the author's perception of high school reunions seems to be based, to a large degree, on fictional ones. The gist of the article is that classmates who have been in touch through Facebook are less likely to have "dramatic" reunions like the ones in the movies (Peggy Sue, Romy & Michelle). It might come as a shock to a writer, but reunions never have been like the ones in fiction.
My hometown cohorts recently held a very successful reunion--successful enough to raise some money for a local charity. Facebook was a vital part of organizing and publicizing the event. Tangentially, one of the reasons that it was successful was that they did not limit it to one school--the history of the community was such that many childhood friends ended up at different high schools.
Anyway, reunions simply are what you make of them. Facebook has not changed that one bit.
The big thing I've noticed is that, once one person from high school finds you on Facebook, the rest will soon follow. I've had practically zero contact with the folks I went to high school with in the past 23 years after graduation, and I'm inclined to keep it that way. But then someone found me and friended me, and I foolishly accepted, probably because that person was someone I didn't despise. Then more showed up...and more...and more. Then I was getting friend requests from people who I really didn't like too much. Those are sitting out there in friend request limbo, where I plan on leaving them until the day I finally quit Facebook, which, given this whole Timeline thing, may be coming soon.
Seriously, if you're that caught up in the past, you need therapy, not a reunion.
I went through a short phase where I added a bunch of people I vaguely remembered from High School. Then I went through the phase where I started muting them all because they just talk too damn much. Then I came to my senses and just unfriended them. Now my friends are just that. Or at least people who WERE friends, and I'd be happy to interact with, but while they're on Facebook, they don't use it.
I like it for what I use it for, a way to share a few things (mostly pictures) with a small group of friends and family. And occasionally, I get drawn back into Frontierville, until I realize I'm spending my free time doing virtual work for virtual money (which can't even buy any interesting virtual goods, those take real money)
That's what the Restricted list is for. And if the stuff they post annoys me (excessive posting about politics, their problems, or their S.O.), I'll also unsubscribe from their updates.
once one person from high school finds you on Facebook, the rest will soon follow
So don't publish details of where you went to school. It's not compulsory and if you don't want people from your old school finding you, then seriously: don't say where you were at school.
It's not as if you're the only person with your particular name in the whole world and even if you have posted photos of yourself it's easy to either ignore the requests or reply "no you must be mistaken". If you post your personal information, people are going to find it. You can't complain that the "wrong people" find it - you wouldn't have posted it if you didn't want people to find it.
politicians are like babies' nappies: they should both be changed regularly and for the same reasons
The last sentence from TFA is really funny "Then you can move on with your life.'"
I never had a facebook page (and believe never will). How will I be able to move on with my life?!... Ahhhhrrgggg...
I don't keep in touch with people just because we used to share the same classroom 20 years ago... Some are my close friends, others just a memory of the past and I like it like that. And get off my lawn!
*post about how I don't use facebook and never went to reunions, thus refuting article*
What is interesting is how right you are, yet people can't avoid or stop using FB, even though they know it is wrong. Similar to the Walmart analogy of another poster here...(The High Cost of Low Prices?) Yes, FB is like a black hole of the web, sucking in all competing forms of interaction. On several occaisions I've been with people who were "dicking around" on their phones, ignoring what was actually going on around them, such as watching a moving, having dinner/lunch, etc; They say they are checking FB, and they get particularly peeved if anyone dares to mention how rude it is for them to be doing FB. The reality is, once implantable brain/computer interfaces become a commodity, sometime in the next 10-20 years, everyone will be on a constant FB "rush", internally. You will go into a restaurant, and no one will be talking...
We play the game with the bravery of being out of range
It's not as if you're the only person with your particular name in the whole world
Yeah pretty easy for a guy apparently named "Peter" to say that.
I am quite certain I'm the only guy in the history of humanity with my name, at least according to my genealogical research. I went out with a really hot chick named Evenstar or something like that once when we were about 19, can't be many of her around. Some of my younger co workers have names that are bizarrely intentionally misspelled to make them unique, oh it sure does that, all right. Then there's certain ethnic groups that use names they think are from their theoretical tribal ancestry, there's certainly no one living outside Somalia with that rather unique name..
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
I have to say I disagree with the story 100%. In fact if not for Facebook our high school reunion would not have happened at all. Former students took it upon themselves to organize it via Facebook, and now I am more connected with people than I would have been without Facebook.
My class (1976) has never held a reunion -- something to do with the combination of an unusually high proportion of slackers and Southern racial politics -- but what I see of most of my "friends" on Facebook tells me that we're best off being Facebook "friends" and that my hometown is a great place to be from.
"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." -- George Orwell
It's true. Relatives who, for example, want to see lots of pictures of my newborn need to be on Facebook, where I can post once and they can all get an update every couple of weeks, at most. The few holdouts who don't use FB get an email maybe once a quarter if I think about it and a picture with the holiday card. It's more convenient for me to post once, and for those who use it they can track a lot of family members at the same time, and forget the whole email/text/mail/etc. stuff. Not saying it's perfect, but it's certainly the reality in my family.
The Quirkz Handbook of Self-Improvement for People Who Are Already Pretty Okay
half the class was at 5 year reunion in late 80s, a few for ten year, and at 15 years in late 90s (the last one) three people went to restaurant and bar. this year was 25 years, I could imagine what would be said were it held and most people were to go, "I went to my high school reunion, but instead of my classmates a bunch of old farts showed up"
>> For sheer social awkwardness, it's hard to beat finally seeing those people in person that you never liked in high school but are 'friends' with on Facebook.
Why would you friend them on facebook?
If they want forgiveness, they can find religion.
With a graduating class of more than 1400 in the 90s (still growing at the school today) the number of people you actually know is pretty slim; even if people cared enough to have a reunion it would be quite impractical and nearly impossible to locate each other. FB offers plenty of opportunity to not care, but get the juicy details you want so you can feel better about yourself.
Oh the inhumanity of it all! I used to have a group for people I decided to allow requests from but didn't want seeing everything I do. Now I use the acquaintances and don't share posts with them instead. Facebook is a tool and has plenty of flexibility. If you really don't get enough benefit out of it to justify the time then don't bother.
I always try and attend social events like reunions if I can. Facebook has, if anything, made it easier. I don't go to find out where 30 virtual strangers work, I go to socialise and maintain a loose relationship. Knowing something about what they do, family etc makes it easier to start a conversation.
My 20 year class reunion was ORGANIZED on Facebook. Facebook allowed people to track down and more easily notify classmates. I actually feel that more people attended because of Facebook and the technology it provided to keep in touch.
I'll have you know it was 4 touchdowns in a single game. Go Polk High!
You haven't gone far enough. Think Matrix.
I'm not a big supporter of Facebook but the people from my jr. high school (grades 7-9) organized a reunion based on it. It might just be the geography of our city but since we'd known each other since elementary school and scattered going into the bigger high schools it was more meaningful than a high school reunion. Two people flew thousands of miles just to be there and they were more than happy they did.
And the all-years high school reunion someone tried to plan later on Facebook turned out to be a massive mistake/misfire/over-reach/disaster.
I had exactly that experience with Friends Reunited 10 years ago. If I actually like someone then it's worth spending the token half hour every six months sending them an email and staying in touch. If I don't even care about them enough to do that, then there's no reason for using a social networking system to stay in touch with them. We're not friends, and we don't gain anything from pretending to be. Remembering that experience, I opted out of the current social networking bubble.
It's okay to lose touch with people. You change, they change. You end up with different sets of interests. You will still be close to some of the people who are your friends now in 20 years. You will find you have almost nothing in common with others much sooner. That's life. You make new friends, you lose contact with some of the others. Trying to hang on to every single friend you've ever met just seems a bit desperate.
I am TheRaven on Soylent News
Are you sure you didn't mean to say working at a shoe store? I think that's the plot you are looking for.
We did the same thing with my class' 25 year class reunion last year.
It's hard for people to tear themselves away from Facebook even though everyone hates Facebook. As a blogger once commented -- when push comes to shove -- EVERYONE hates Facebook:
Tired of FB/Google censorship? Visit UNCENSORED!
Do you realize that TV sitcoms don't portray real life to any meaningful degree of accuracy? I found both worthwhile, and enjoy seeing both friends from high school and friends from college - the subsets don't really intersect at all either.
I agree with you completely, and I'll add that I think, with elementary and high school, you don't really get to choose your friends, especially at a smaller school. You're sort of thrown into this group of people who you have to see every day, whether you like it or not. Sort of like work, except that, with work, at least most folks have developed the maturity level not to be complete assholes most of the time
HS Reunion is very much a baby boomer event. Baby boomers are dying or getting too old to bother.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Our high school reunion was ANNOUNCED on facebook. Very few people showed up compared to our total class from 1998, chiefly because I know a lot of those people don't bother with facebook. Personally, I think it's a way for people to get out of holding a proper one and being held accountable, "Oh, you mean you didn't hear? It was announced on facebook!" Bollux. I didn't go. All the comments I read were a bunch of self-important wankers who were still self-important wankers. All the people I actually wanted to meet again don't book face. The casualty is NOT that it isn't necessary, the casualty is that it gives the illusion that it isn't necessary.
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Have you actually thought about what you posted? any thought at all?
" Small community web sites,"
why is moving to facebook bad? Ignoring the fact that there are still plenty of these.
"forums"
Why is facebook worse then forums
"blogs"
Because there aren't any? what?
" people going outside"
People use FB to organize event outside all the time. from meeting at pubs, to geocaching, to well, everything outside.
FB is just a tool. How people leverage it can be different.
" anymore is fuck around on Facebook."
Man, you REALLY hate people communicating with a common medium, don't you?
In the 70's you know what people did? sit alone and watch one of five channels.
Why would you rather people didn't communicate at all over a common communication tool?
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Not everyone gets to go to a college where they "really" have fun and make friends. Some save money by going to community college during the best party years and then have to get serious when they finally go to a real school.
Some just never make a connection in college. I went to a big state school and had a great time, no regrets really. But thirty years later I have a dozen facebook friends from HS and only 1 from college, and that one is pretty tenuous.
Complete bullsheet.
" They say they are checking FB, and they get particularly peeved if anyone dares to mention how rude it is for them to be doing FB"
that because THEY are assholes, not because FB is doing anything.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
What gets me is that you say you accepted their friend requests. Um........ what about being in touch with them? Did anything come of that?
That's what gets me about FB: Just friending someone is supposed to hold some sort of significance.
I had the same thing happen to me, btw, and when they wrote to me asking how I'd been over the last 10 years, I wrote back, asked what was up and how they were, and never got a response from a single one. So I unfriended the hundred or so people who seemed to WANT to seem interested, but actually weren't enough to type a simple email.
And so goes Facebook.
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I haven't got that many awkward friend requests. Once I got a few HS friends I surfed through their friend lists for familiar names and made some selective friend requests. But I also just surfed through a lot of HS acquaintance info pages and photos to get a sense of what they're up to.
Sadly, the "girl that got away" has never shown up on FB or at the one reunion I attended. Forever a mystery I guess.
Phil? Phil Connors? Phil Connors, I thought that was you! Now don't you tell me you don't remember me 'cause I sure as heckfire remember you!
We just did our 20th and FB actually helps promote the event and track folks down.
Yes, you already know a lot about what is going on if you follow the FB stream. So I knew more about a lot of folks that I never really socialized in HS with. But I also knew what my circle of friends had been up to, so we did not have to spend so much time catching up on "trivialities" so much.
Plus, I used FB to specifically target and encourage the folks I wanted to see IRL to be there. And it worked, a lot of them showed up.
Plus, I was pleasantly surprised at how everyone was basically "adult" now. No drama that I noticed. Everyone really seemed to want to be there to have a good time.
I had a similar experience -- college was even worse than high school.
In my case, it was a private Ivy League university where I was supported by a scholarship. I was able to deal with the bullies and cliques in high school, but the level of crushing elitism, sexism, bigotry, and outright racism I encountered in college was something I had never experienced in my entire life. Those people were from a different world of privilege and entitlement.
College was the worst four years of my life, but fortunately my life and career post-graduation has made up for it in spades. It does get better, but not necessarily in college.
Facebook is, or rather people who use only Facebook are, nearly robbing me of my next high school reunion. I am not on Facebook and my reunion "committee" is solely using Facebook to disseminate information on the reunion, actually actively resisting other methods.
Ah, well, nice to see how little things change. Adult life is just as click-y as high school.
Case rested.
I object to power without constructive purpose. --Spock
College was way worse for me, too. I would have to say that it may have been one of the worst experiences of my life.
Personally I prefered high school, mostly because I wasn't having a massive bout of admittedly undiagnosed clinical depression then. (It's amazing how much stuff sucks when you're going through that. Did I mention I blame my university for causing it in the first place?)
Did you know 80 to 90% of the moderators on slashdot wouldn't recognize a troll even if one dragged them under a bridge.
There was a period a few years ago when it seems that I friended or was friended-by everyone I was friends with or socially on neutral terms with (I refused to connect with the few ass hats I never liked from those years). I can pretty much find out whatever I want at any time and if I felt compelled to make an impromtu reunion, I could (and "we" have, speaking from the network of people). When the official reunion came up asking for over $100/person, I had a hard time justifying it.
Sure, people went and now I actually regret somewhat not going since there is something to be said about having a proper organized place for all these people to get together. And for the folks who say that "why would I ever want to see XXXX?" The most common thing I heard from a range of friends was that they had a blast hanging out with people that they weren't friends with or never talked to in their life.
I'll definitely go to the next one.
Never hit your grandmother with a shovel, for it leaves a bad impression on her mind...
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