LazyHusband Smart Phone App Compliments Your Wife for You (Video)

The guy who came up with the LazyHusband app, Ethan Duggan, isn't married. That's good, because he's only 12 years old. One of his local (Las Vegas) TV stations says this about him: "...the 12-year-old from Henderson, Nev., said he was tired of always replying to his mother's questions of how she looked in an outfit, he came up with common phrases that, with a touch of the screen, can tell his mother, 'You look amazing today.'" The app costs 99 cents for iOS, Android or Kindle. Ethan admits that Dad helped, but says the app is his own work and was his idea. He's now working on Lazy Kid and Lazy Wife. The TV story says, "Phrases for Lazy Kid include, yes, I did my homework and I love you. Ethan said he is having a hard time coming up with common phrases that a wife might say to her husband." Pro basketball retiree turned business guy Shaquille O'Neal is reportedly interested in LazyHusband, which means you may hear plenty more about LazyHusband and the prodigy who created it.

Comments

Congrats kid

[Anonymous Coward]

and the prodigy who created it

Slashdot thinks you are a prodigy. Of course Slashdot editors aren't that smart either so don't get too caught up on that.

Re:Congrats kid

[Anonymous Coward]

Another soundboard app? Does it at least need to read my email address, contacts, and have unrestricted access to the internet?

Re:Congrats kid

[Anonymous Coward]

No... ah, the customized ads. So yes.

Re:Congrats kid

[RussR42]

It took me a second to realize that he may be a prodigy after all. Not for the app, but for the marketing. Sell the same app a couple times to everyone with a different set of canned phrases instead of one generalized app that will let you select from a custom list of messages. Meh.

Re:Congrats kid

[phantomfive]

Kids who achieve that kind of thing almost without exception have an adult guiding them along. I'd be willing to bet this is no exception, there's an adult hiding behind him doing all the publicity work.

Re:Congrats kid

[Graydyn Young]

Or maybe, just maybe, Ethan's Dad is a marketing genius, and his marketing plans involve using his 12 year old son.

Re:Congrats kid

[Anonymous Coward]

exactly! wtf is this on here?!

Re:Congrats kid

[Anonymous Coward]

Kids who achieve that kind of thing almost without exception have an adult guiding them along. I'd be willing to bet this is no exception, there's an adult hiding behind him doing all the publicity work.

Are you willing to make that bet because the text above said his dad helped or is this your crazy intuition?

Re:Congrats kid

[bitt3n]

in that case, his Dad's pretty smart. not everyone predicted app stores 12 years ago

Re:Congrats kid

[Anonymous Coward]

The word is progeny .As in child progeny

Re:Congrats kid

[Anonymous Coward]

The more generalized the app then the closer that using it will come to just simply typing out a message, thus defeating the purpose of the app. Also, considering the targets, it is unlikely that a single user will need all three versions.

Re:Congrats kid

[wonkey_monkey]

or is this your crazy intuition?

It's obviously his dad's crazy intuition.

Re:Congrats kid

[K. S. Kyosuke]

It took me a second to realize that he may be a prodigy after all. Not for the app, but for the marketing. Sell the same app a couple times to everyone with a different set of canned phrases instead of one generalized app that will let you select from a custom list of messages. Meh.

Hey, what do you know? This may all end up with a PhD thesis on next-gen natural language generation. ;)

Re:Congrats kid

[Anonymous Coward]

I REALLY don't like this new Microsoft-approved Slashdot.

It's just so banal now.

Re:Congrats kid

[dudpixel]

Whatever it is, it deserves credit :)

Re:Congrats kid

[dudpixel]

in that case, his Dad's pretty smart. not everyone predicted app stores 12 years ago

Sorry but I gotta correct you there. If you're gonna go down that line of reasoning then full credit goes to his Mum. :P

Re:Congrats kid

[dudpixel]

I should've been clearer - I'm not talking about the birth...

Re:Congrats kid

[Big Hairy Ian]

Personally I thought you nailed it. Why you got marked down gawd knows

Re:Congrats kid

[Stubbyfingers]

I hope he makes a boatload of money off it.

BTW, when your wife asks you how she looks wearing whatever she has donned, she does NOT want an honest answer. "You look fine" or "You Look LOVELY" or something like are the only acceptable answers. However, you have signed an unwritten contract to accept all blame from any wardrobe issue she may have from the time you replied until she removes the article(s). If the question precedes a new clothing purchase, the unwritten contract you have signed in blood only terminates when the article is willingly and lovingly donated to Goodwill.

Re:Congrats kid

[Holladon]

BTW, when your wife asks you how she looks wearing whatever she has donned, she does NOT want an honest answer. "You look fine" or "You Look LOVELY" or something like are the only acceptable answers.

Yeah, because (1) women aren't diverse individuals and can therefore ALL be written off as wanting the same thing, and (2) women are delicate flowers whose genteel emotions can't handle hearing that a particular outfit isn't flattering, even when they have SPECIFICALLY ASKED for an outsider perspective on the matter.

Re:Congrats kid

[Stubbyfingers]

You wouldn't say "Genteel Emotions" if you ever had a rolling pin thrown at you. Women ARE diverse individuals--just don't do anything to piss'em off if you know what's good for you.

25 years of experience tells me the reason Wives outlive the Husbands on average is because Hubby gave his Honest Opinion once too often.

Re:Congrats kid

[Holladon]

You wouldn't say "Genteel Emotions" if you ever had a rolling pin thrown at you. Women ARE diverse individuals--just don't do anything to piss'em off if you know what's good for you.

I get pissed off all the time. I WISH I were scary pissed off, because then I occasionally might get half of the respect I've seen my male peers get when they get pissed off, instead of people laughing at me or telling me I'm "beautiful" when I'm angry. Thank FSM I'm not short, or I'd likely have people comparing me to chihuahuas (a comparison I've heard made of several of my female attorney colleagues who committed no greater sin than being competent, brilliant, successful, and petite women). Even the way your comment is phrased makes it clear that you view women's emotions as a joke. Did it ever occur to you that your wife might be a thoughtful person whose emotions merit actual consideration, rather than someone to tease into a state of irritation, and then mock for being irritated?

25 years of experience tells me the reason Wives outlive the Husbands on average is because Hubby gave his Honest Opinion once too often.

Given that your comments suggest a total lack of respect for your wife (and/or women or wives in general), I can see why you'd be wary about giving her your honest opinion. However, your honest opinion is more likely to contribute to depression on her side than, um, murder (jesus christ, buddy), and depression is correlated with lower lifespan. So, to the contrary, more likely than not women's lifespan would be lengthened (or, rather, not shortened) if men like you refrain from admitting to their wives how very little they truly think of them.

Re:Congrats kid

[DirtyLiar]

Just don't ever get caught using it!

"Uh, no honey, I'm not using a simple software program (written by a 12) year old to patronize you and your (stupid) self-conscious questions!"
"I would never minimize your feelings by sending you canned, semi-random, phrases in response to your very real concerns!"
"'Why do I have an icon on my phone named LazyHusband?' Oh, you know my friends and how they like to joke around!"
"Uh... Why don't you put the pan down now?"
"Ow! Come-on, be reasonable!"
"Bad choice of words, I didn't mean to imply that you're unreasonable!"
"Help!"

Re:Congrats kid

[Anonymous Coward]

OK, you're taking the comment WAY too seriously.

Admittedly, DW has a temper but she also has a long fuse. However, when it burns to the end--it's best to be elsewhere.

Professionally, she's middle management in a large org. She HAS said at work that half of her job is knowing who to bitch out and how much to bitch at them. She gets by with saying such things because she's very effective. Also, mistakes in her department opens her organization to liability, so she has to have "zero tolerance" the inevitable mistakes that "happen". She has written several policy papers for her professional organization and will be assisting to write procedure and policy manuals on a national level when they start re-writing their professional standards documents sometime next summer.

Now, in addition to this, she's a proverbial 'country girl' from the mountains--a certain amount of toughness and independence comes from that.

NOW, if I answered one of the loaded questions wrong--yes, I would get my ears pinned back.

Re:Congrats kid

[BasilBrush]

You think women are that easy to gameplay? Think again. I was given all kinds of grief one night because before a party I told her she looked lovely in the dress she was trying on but DIDN'T want to wear.

Re:Congrats kid

[BasilBrush]

Bad time of the month?

Re:Congrats kid

[Stubbyfingers]

True. Quite often it's a pick-which-way-I-want-to-lose day at the ole Stubbyfingers manse. This morning as she drove me to my bus stop on her way to work, it was shaping up to be ONE OF THOSE DAYS. BUT, it's mostly worked for 25 years.

Or as we say at our anniversaries, "Here's to another year of near misses!"

Re:Congrats kid

[Holladon]

Beats being a sexist prick all times of all months.

Re:Congrats kid

[BasilBrush]

Wow, you're quite the chihuahua!

Re:Congrats kid

[Holladon]

Oh hey, a bro on the internet trying to get a rise out of me. How original. Your mommy must be very very proud of you.

there is only one word you need to know

[alen]

aha or uhh haa

same meaning. answer it every time and you will be OK

Re:there is only one word you need to know

[kevinT]

You forgot the all purpose response -- "yes dear"

Re:there is only one word you need to know

[jittles]

You forgot the all purpose response -- "yes dear"

Wife: "Does this outfit make me look fat?"
Husband: "Yes dear"

Re:there is only one word you need to know

[Anonymous Coward]

I almost laughed up my lunch coffee!

Re:there is only one word you need to know

[alen]

who the fuck calls their wife dear?

Re:there is only one word you need to know

[Cro Magnon]

Someone who's married?

Re:there is only one word you need to know

[Anonymous Coward]

who the fuck calls their wife dear?

I do. Along with "sweetie", "darling", and "poopy head".

Re:there is only one word you need to know

[femtobyte]

It's still an important step up from:
Husband: "no, it's not the outfit."

Re:there is only one word you need to know

[Anonymous Coward]

I think that's just regional. I can safely say I've never called my wife "dear". I have a tendancy to use her actual name.

Not sure where I read it, but sometime vaguely recently I read that when a couple uses pet-names for eachother, it tends to lead to a rockier relationship, or some such. No clue how true it is though.

But no, seriously, on a lark I called her 'honey' or 'dear' once or twice. It just felt... weird. I'll stick with "Laura"... she seems to respond to that.

Re:there is only one word you need to know

[Anonymous Coward]

Someone from 1955

Re:there is only one word you need to know

[Anonymous Coward]

Peg: "Al, does this dress make me look fat?"
Al: "No, your fat makes you look fat."

Re:there is only one word you need to know

[dudpixel]

who the fuck calls their wife dear?

Well they certainly do cost a lot...

Re:there is only one word you need to know

[Anonymous Coward]

Sorry, for AC but, very relevant: http://www.lolwtfcomics.com/upload/uploads/1316488570.png

Re:there is only one word you need to know

[Inda]

"Knit me a cake" works best in my house.

Lazy basketball forward

[Anonymous Coward]

"Yo, I'm open. Throw me the rock".

wat

[chris200x9]

Is this a slasvertisment? What's so novel or important or news worthy of an app that says a phrase when a button is pushed?

Re:wat

[chris200x9]

about*

Re:wat

[Anonymous Coward]

I guess because it's programmed by a 12 year old? I think people just don't give kids enough credit these days.

Re:wat

[pspahn]

I'm pretty sure there was very little "programming" involved.

I think people just don't give programmers enough credit these days.

Re: wat

[SleazyRidr]

Yeah, people were complaining about that panorama app last week, but that was at least interesting. This is just a lame joke about a stereotype.

Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

Next headline on slashdot: "New fart app developed!"

Sheesh...

Can't we just call it LazyLazy?

[Nemosoft Unv.]

Really, if we can't even be bothered to come up with a compliment ourselves (even if it is a cliché), but have to rely on an app to do it for us... Next thing you know it's going to automatically message your SO with compliments :(

Re:Can't we just call it LazyLazy?

[dudpixel]

Wait, this app doesn't send the message automatically?

I guess I'll just wait for version 2...

Let feminist complaints begin in..

[poofmeisterp]

3.....2.......1.......

Re:Let feminist complaints begin in..

[Seumas]

Because if there's one thing Slashdot is full of, it's . . . feminists . . . ?

Re:Let feminist complaints begin in..

[Catskul]

Complaint about imaginary feminist complaints that will rarely ever show up on Slashdot about topic feminists probably don't care about in 3...2...1... Oh shit! it's already here?!!

Re:Let feminist complaints begin in..

[Anonymous Coward]

Please note that you don't need a womb to be a feminist. You don't even need tits. Here is some statements you can read to test how feminist you are: A wife should submit to her husband as he is the head of the family. There are offices in the church that only a man can hold. The reason women make less money than men is that men work more, work harder, take more risk and choose fields that pay more. This don't make women stupid. Many women prioritize the more valuable work of taking care of her own children while her husband bring home money. If a man takes care of his children in stead of working for "the man" he must be extremely attractive to stop his wife from ending her financial supporting of him, stop sleeping with him, cheating on him and/or leaving him. There are fewer women than men that like programming. That someone don't like to program don't make them stupid. (The slashdotter that dream of marrying a female programmer that will support him while he stay at home playing computer games with his kids should note what his odds are) It is possible that female suffrage is a bad thing.

Re:Let feminist complaints begin in..

[Anonymous Coward]

They find every place that mentions anything against female control like hawks find mice. Hell, they can be 1000 miles away and hear somebody mentioning male dominance of any kind and they will be there in less than 1 second to get into a fight.

I use to be in a relationship with one. I cannot stress enough how important it is to stay away from those relationships. :)

Re:Let feminist complaints begin in..

[AvitarX]

There are offices in the church that only a man can hold, that's simple fact and denying it is akin to denying the existence of air.

The rightness of that fact is a different issue than the factualness of it.

Re:Let feminist complaints begin in..

[poofmeisterp]

Complaint about imaginary feminist complaints that will rarely ever show up on Slashdot about topic feminists probably don't care about in 3...2...1... Oh shit! it's already here?!!

The plan is working perfectly! Mwahahaha!

Re:Let feminist complaints begin in..

[SeattleGameboy]

Chirp.... chirp... chirp...

Re:Let feminist complaints begin in..

[Holladon]

I use to be in a relationship with one. I cannot stress enough how important it is to stay away from those relationships. :)

And, on behalf of feminists everywhere, thank you for avoiding us. I assure you the disinterest is entirely mutual.

Re:Let feminist complaints begin in..

[Holladon]

OC forgot the first rule of successful trolling: you need a sufficient threshold of people falling into the targeted category before any of them will start feeding you.

Re:Let feminist complaints begin in..

[DirtyLiar]

I use to be in a relationship with one. I cannot stress enough how important it is to stay away from those relationships. :)

And, on behalf of feminists everywhere, thank you for avoiding us. I assure you the disinterest is entirely mutual.

Oh Snap!

Lazy Wife phrase ideas

[TimHunter]

Pick up your clothes/games/tools, etc.
You need to shave/bathe/put on nicer clothes, etc.
Is that all you ever think about?
You forgot my birthday/the milk/to flush, etc.

Re:Lazy Wife phrase ideas

[Anonymous Coward]

That could also be the lazy-mom-with-stay-home-mature-children app...

Re:Lazy Wife phrase ideas

[GodfatherofSoul]

Are you done yet? My mouth is tired.
Can we just sleep tonight?
Ewww, the trash really stinks!
Will come in here and kill this?

Re:Lazy Wife phrase ideas

[linatux]

Only needs one : "NO!"

Re:Lazy Wife phrase ideas

[martiniturbide]

Your food is in the oven. Check it out there.

Re:Lazy Wife phrase ideas

[PRMan]

Not tonight.

Does this dress make me look fat?

Re:Lazy Wife phrase ideas

[Anonymous Coward]

Have you taken out the garbage yet?

Nathan

Re:Lazy Wife phrase ideas

[TsuruchiBrian]

"I want a divorce, and I am taking the kid(s) that didn't invent this stupid app. You can have Ethan."

Re:Lazy Wife phrase ideas

[Holladon]

Yes, your boss IS an idiotic sack of crap. You should definitely just walk out and quit tomorrow.
Of course I don't mind that you didn't get home in time to walk the dogs like you promised. No, I'm not mad that they destroyed the rug.
That's hilarious! I've never heard that joke before!
You're absolutely brilliant. I wish I had thought to say that.
Of course I don't mind if you don't want to listen to me talk about my day. It sounds like your day was pretty tough already.

I'd love to have your friend Jake over for dinner! He always has the most entertaining stories about the women he dates.

Of course, in order to be truly successful, the app would also have to disable the husband's sarcasm meter. Fortunately, in many models, the sarcasm detectors seem to already work at reduced capacity around women (quite possibly because there's a glitch in the programming that incorrectly flags women's intelligence too low).

Re:Lazy Wife phrase ideas

[DirtyLiar]

"Your food is in the refrigerator, take it out, combine it in any way you please, season it, put it in the stove and cook it."

Sounds like the dad did most of the work.

[Anonymous Coward]

But whatever, good for him.

Lazy!

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

Now we need LazySlashdotter, with such gems as:

"Minus 1 - Troll!"

"Minus 1 - I disagree!"

"Ok, mom. I'll put the wash in the drier right after this raid is over!"

"No, mom. My school doesn't have any dances scheduled this year."

"No, mom. My college doesn't have any dances scheduled this year."

"Ok, mom. I will try OKCupid right after this raid is over."

"Thanks for bringing me my AARP application, which they mail to people at age 50. You really didn't need to come down all these stairs into the basement at your age."

Re:Lazy!

[Anonymous Coward]

I first received my AARP application when I was 25. I displayed it for several years on my office door. I received another not long ago, at 38.

Re:Lazy!

[frosty_tsm]

I first received my AARP application when I was 25. I displayed it for several years on my office door. I received another not long ago, at 38.

I get one about every other month. I think I'm not living in the right neighborhood...

Re:Lazy!

[Anonymous Coward]

You forgot:

"First post!"

"Check out this out [goatse.cx]!"

Re:Lazy!

[CycleMan]

I first received my AARP application when I was 25. I displayed it for several years on my office door. I received another not long ago, at 38.

I get one about every other month. I think I'm not living in the right neighborhood...

They took my money and I had a valid membership at age 29. But when I called to get my darn discount card, they said, "Oops - you're too young for the card, but you can keep paying dues and receiving the magazine if you'd like." I don't know how they missed that beforehand; the application asks for your birthdate.

My membership in AAUW was about as short-lived as well.

Re:Lazy!

[Anonymous Coward]

"In Soviet Russia, app tells you to RTFA."

Re:Lazy!

[Mashdar]

Do colleges actually have official dances? If mine did, I was sincerely unaware. All the dancing I knew of was at house parties or club events. (Club as in a group of students with a common interest, not a loud, sweat bars with limited personal space. Though I'm sure those had some dancing too.) Then again, I went to a University with 35,000 undergraduates, so we didn't even have one graduation. Maybe the Liberal Arts kids got to have dances. :)

Re:Lazy!

[IwantToKeepAnon]

"I don't understand, could you explain with a car analogy please."

Re:Lazy!

[DirtyLiar]

No, "In Soviet Russia TFA reads YOU!"

Brainstorming

[Anonymous Coward]

"Ethan said he is having a hard time coming up with common phrases that a wife might say to her husband."

Let me get you started, kiddo:

1. No i don't want to have sex tonight
2. No i won't be cooking dinner tonight
3. No I don't want to have sex tonight
4. We are out of food, seriously there is nothing to eat [play this automatically any time user is near a refrigerator]
5. for the last time, no we aren't having sex tonight so shut up already!

AC because there *is* a snowballs chance in hell my wife might accidentally google and find this...

Re:Brainstorming

[crakbone]

Think you forgot Honey I have a headache. Do you think she is pretty? I saw you looking at her. How do I look in this? Does this dress make me look fat? Do you know what today is?

Re:Brainstorming

[characterZer0]

Your wife seems to be the problem. It is more fun if you are the problem.

1. No, I will not hold your beer for you while you try that.
2. And I won't call 911 afterward either.
3. And don't you dare come into the house and drip blood on the floor to use the phone.
4. I think they put a guard on there for a reason. Why are you taking it off?
5. Your life insurance policy is paid up, right?
6. I am going back inside.

Re:Brainstorming

[Sporkinum]

You blocked me on Facebook
And now you're going to die

Now you're going to die

You blocked me on Facebook

And now you're going to die

Now you're going to die

You blocked me on Facebook

Re:Brainstorming

[StuartHankins]

Catchy. Needs a good bass line.

Re:Brainstorming

[eth1]

"Ethan said he is having a hard time coming up with common phrases that a wife might say to her husband."

Let me get you started, kiddo:

1. No i don't want to have sex tonight
2. No i won't be cooking dinner tonight
3. No I don't want to have sex tonight
4. We are out of food, seriously there is nothing to eat [play this automatically any time user is near a refrigerator]
5. for the last time, no we aren't having sex tonight so shut up already!

AC because there *is* a snowballs chance in hell my wife might accidentally google and find this...

You're over-thinking this. The LazyWife version just needs to be shaped like a dildo.

Re:Brainstorming

[Capt.DrumkenBum]

If your wife doesn't want to have sex with you, maybe you are doing it wrong.

Re:Brainstorming

[Anonymous Coward]

Response from LazyHusband in bold.

Think you forgot

Honey I have a headache. You are a headache.

Do you think she is pretty? Yes.

I saw you looking at her. I am married, not dead or blind.

How do I look in this? You'd look better in this (points to sexy lingerie in Victoria's Secret catalogue)

Does this dress make me look fat? You're not fat but the dress does not complement your figure.

Do you know what today is? I'm sure you'll remind me.

Re:Brainstorming

[wjwlsn]

You forgot the list of things that your wife was probably capable of doing on her own before marriage, but now that you're around, apparently you are the only one that can do them.

Also, make sure these are phrased as questions so that the hapless husband has a chance to trigger the "wretched harpy" mode with one poorly worded reply (or one that's just stated too audibly).

1. Can you carry these groceries for me?
2. Can you get the telephone for me?
3. Can you take this to my parent's place for me?
4. Can you change this lightbulb for me?
5. Can you put the mixer away for me?
6. ... and so on ...

Re:Brainstorming

[undeadbill]

Here's a few I would expect:

6. I'm sorry, I fell asleep again, could you pick up dinner for the family on your way home?
7. I can't find my phone.
8. I can't find my iPad.
9. I'm at yoga, can I call you back later?
10. I'm out buying more $useless_shit, can you take care of it instead?
11. I'm on Facebook, I'll get right back to you.
12. I'm on Facebook, uploading pictures is eating all the bandwidth.
13. I'm on Facebook, did you see what she posted?
14. I'm on Facebook, I'll check that later.
15. Go ahead, but I forgot to check the bank balance today before going to the $useless_shit store.
16. No, I thought you were supposed to pick up the kid. I fell asleep on the couch.

Re:Brainstorming

[Anonymous Coward]

Does this dress make me look fat? You're not fat but the dress does not complement your figure.

A more moral* answer would be "I need something to compare it to. Let's (go to somewhere more private and) take it of."

* 1 Cor 7, 3 - 5 explain why saying yes when she asks for sex is more moral than to turn the conversation to fashion

Re:Brainstorming

[Anonymous Coward]

Ah, you bought the wrong app. Those were from DeadHusband, and you got a couple wrong:

Does this dress make me look fat? No dear, it's not the dress. Being fat makes you look fat.

Do you know what today is? No dear, your incessant bitching has caused my memory to fail.

Can't wait for the Lazy Editor App

[Anonymous Coward]

1) This article looks good -> Promote to main page.
2) This article is boring/off topic ->GOTO 1.

Re:Can't wait for the Lazy Editor App

[guttentag]

You can't wait for the lazy editor app? What exactly did you think Slashdot was? I'm surprised Dice isn't suing this kid for infringement.

Wow...

[Anonymous Coward]

Prodigy? LOL. Standards are pretty low these days, eh?

Next: Lazy coder

[xor.pt]

With long time favorites:

"If it isn't broken, don't fix it."
"It's compiling."
"It's not a bug, it's a feature."

and many others!

Re:Next: Lazy coder

[Anonymous Coward]

My personal favorite:

"Should be fine."

Re:Next: Lazy coder

[O-Deka-K]

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

FTFY

Re:Next: Lazy coder

[GodfatherofSoul]

I couldn't reproduce the error, so I'm closing this ticket.

Re:Next: Lazy coder

[BoredAtWorkWhatElse]

But it works on my machine!

Re:Next: Lazy coder

[Anonymous Coward]

Works on my machine.

Re:Next: Lazy coder

[Artea]

"It most probably definitely should be OK... I think." - Actual answer I have given to clients.

this is prodigy?

[shadowrat]

so this is considered the mozart level of app making? this app will be cherished centuries later?

Re:this is prodigy?

[Anonymous Coward]

To be fair, this kid's managed to generate significant press with something about as creative and intelligent as the fart app, long since the time would the press would cover something like a fart app. So he may well be on his way to a lucrative career in making stupid shit. That's more than I can say for myself and the app I've worked on full-time for three years and so far has generated no press and doesn't have enough sales to cover the cost of an iPod Touch.

Re:this is prodigy?

[Anonymous Coward]

I always think kids are turning dumber each year. But humanity seems to be managing... so I don't know what's wrong with my theory. Are they able to maintain a minimum level of brain cells that is enough for keep going on?

Re:this is prodigy?

[Anonymous Coward]

so I don't know what's wrong with my theory.

Biased sampling. In the past, the bitter old people heard about the stupidest things children did in town. Thanks to television, the bitter old folks could hear about the stupidest things that people did in the same coverage zone, but usually limited to what had a moderately expensive camera filming it.
Thanks to modern technology, an abundance of cheap recording devices, and rampant narcissism, you can now watch the significant majority of stupid things done by people trying to record themselves doing something cool but the records being put on youtube against their wishes.

Find some older people who are willing to be honest, ask them about the kinds of trouble they got into when they were kids. It will put the current crop of stupid in a whole new light.

Re:this is prodigy?

[Hentes]

Everybody can sell a good app. But it takes a true genius to sell a crappy one.

Re:this is prodigy?

[viperidaenz]

To be fair, the kid posted a story on Slashdot and it was a slow news day in Austin. Shaq isn't interested, the kid won a competition to meet him.

Re:this is prodigy?

[viperidaenz]

So what's going to happen now Steve Jobs is gone?

Re:this is prodigy?

[Anonymous Coward]

I always think kids are turning dumber each year. But humanity seems to be managing... so I don't know what's wrong with my theory. Are they able to maintain a minimum level of brain cells that is enough for keep going on?

Society gets dumber each year therefore the dumbness of a particular child declines relative to the community. So yes, kids are turning dumber each year but most people don't notice relative to themselves. Recursive relationships ruined all.

Re:this is prodigy?

[CheshireDragon]

Apple is suing everyone for money. Haven't you been reading the news? They've gone sue-happy....WEEEEEEEE!

Re:this is prodigy?

[TsuruchiBrian]

Hard as it may be to believe, people in general are getting smarter. It's not that people are smart, it's that they used to be even more stupid in the past. Also the stupidity of people used to be limited to their neighborhood before the ubiquity of internet access.

It only takes a few smart people to keep society going. It defies intuition, but it is demonstrated in real life on a daily basis.

Re:this is prodigy?

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes. This app will inspire generations of future children to write apps designed to facilitate adult conversation.

Pro basketball retiree turned business guy

[Anonymous Coward]

What, just because he's rich from playing basketball then that means all of the sudden he magically knows business? What the fuck does that make Dennis Rodman: pro basketball retiree turned US diplomat?

Re:Pro basketball retiree turned business guy

[sunking2]

No, in fact he'll never say he's the smartest one in the room. But he does have seed money and isn't afraid to take some chances and toss it around to try to help people. What have you done lately?

Re:Pro basketball retiree turned business guy

[Anonymous Coward]

A software engineer. Making kernel commits, quietly, without praise. Often yelled at actually.

Re:Pro basketball retiree turned business guy

[Anonymous Coward]

What, just because he's rich from playing basketball then that means all of the sudden he magically knows business? What the fuck does that make Dennis Rodman: pro basketball retiree turned US diplomat?

Sadly Dennis Rodman would probably win the next US Presidential Election if he tossed his name into the ring of corruption.

Re:Pro basketball retiree turned business guy

[Holladon]

I'm angry that I don't have mod points to give you and angrier that apparently no one else caught the North Korea reference.

"Should I buy these $300 shoes . . .?"

[PolygamousRanchKid]

"No, you look fat in them."

Saves money, incites terror . . .

Only a single guy/kid could come up with this

[93 Escort Wagon]

If I ever used a phone app to tell my wife "you look amazing today", I'd be sleeping on the couch for at least a month.

Re:Only a single guy/kid could come up with this

[Anonymous Coward]

What if her iPhone "fell in love" with her and tried to steal her away?
It could be good for laughs if timed right.

Re:Only a single guy/kid could come up with this

[Holladon]

An iPhone would be a tempting replacement for any man thoughtless enough to think this was a remotely fair way to treat his wife. Joking aside, this shit is pretty fucking callous. But maybe no one cares. Maybe we as human beings really have become so self-centered and bitter that the idea of paying attention to another person and caring about their needs and insecurities is an actual joke to most. If that's the case, hopefully that asteroid WILL hit us, because that's just no fucking way to live.

Lazy Boyfriend

[Looker_Device]

I agree with you.
Yes, I think she is a total bitch for saying that to you.
You fascinate me.
Yes, I would love to see that romantic comedy with you.

Re:Lazy Boyfriend

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, I would love to see that romantic comedy with you.

Woah now, be careful: don't want the app making promises you don't want to keep.

'Prodigy'?

[Anonymous Coward]

Push a button, play an audio file. Whew, that must have taken all of an hour of work.

By the time I was 12 I was deep into the underground life of writing app add-ons for AOL chats! And the occasional 2D space shooter(it played audio when you clicked your mouse!)

Re:'Prodigy'?

[kaizendojo]

And now your commenting anonymously on slashdot. How proud your folks must be.

ELIZA Revisited

[foobsr]

That is what deserves to be called progress.

CC.

He's only 12

[scarboni888]

And he understands the mind-numbing monotony of some peoples' repetitive need for affirmation of their existence.

Way to go Ethan!

Re:He's only 12

[Holladon]

You might need constant affirmation, too, if you'd spent your entire life being disregarded, written off, disrespected, ignored, insulted, controlled, and looked down on simply for being alternatively too pretty or not pretty enough, without regard for anything else you may or may not have to offer the world.

Re:He's only 12

[scarboni888]

You don't know anything about me.

Re:He's only 12

[Holladon]

Never claimed to. And I can do you one better, even: technically, I don't even know that you are a you at all, or that time and consciousness are anything more than illusions. So - did you have an actual point, or are we just throwing out random factoids for shits and giggles? I've never met Stephen Hawking, although I have met Shaquille O'Neal. Cherries are my favorite fruit. Cows have four stomachs. French is a Latin language. Wheee!

Slashvertisements are a sign of desperation.

[RocketRabbit]

They must be, because it just all seems so farcical.

great

[Titan1080]

Now we have an app that spouts the most overused word in English history; AMAZING. everything's AMAZING, have you noticed how AMAZING everything is these days? It's such an AMAZING word, I'd be AMAZED if anyone ever used any other non-AMAZING adjective besides AMAZING, ever again.

Re:great

[rk]

Awesome post...

Common phrases for a wife and oblig SMBC comic

[Anonymous Coward]

1. No dear, your penis is the largest I have ever had.
2. OMG, it's so big.
3. Yes dear, we can have a threesome with my hot sister.
4. No dear, you were my first.
5. Yes dear, our son is yours.

captcha:gospel

Preaching to the choir?

Apparently you are not married.

[Kludge]

FYI:
1. This is freaking hillarious.
2. This is freaking brilliant.

Re:Apparently you are not married.

[Desler]

It's a soundboard app. There are thousands upon thousands of them already.

Re:Apparently you are not married.

[gstoddart]

Yeah, but this one is hilarious and highlights the "yes dear" we've come to associate with married men.

If he makes some money out of it, all the better. But it is brilliant comedy.

Re:Apparently you are not married.

[Seumas]

It's possible to be married and not turn into a total vagina, despite what this dumb app suggests.

Anyway, I wish there were more opportunity for community feedback around here, so we could have some impact on this kind of crap appearing.

Re:Apparently you are not married.

[AvitarX]

Yes, but the type that fall into him vs her and he's always a lazy manchild and she's always a nag, are the market for the app (well those that think the premise is funny and watch King of Queens).

Re:Apparently you are not married.

[Holladon]

Speaking as a married woman who would LOVE her husband to actually give an honest opinion when she asks him a question and finds it infuriatingly patronizing when people assume that the fact that I don't dangle my most vulnerable parts between my legs somehow, for some bizarre reason, translates into me being too stupid to know better than to ask questions I don't want to hear the answer to -- guess what: when I ask an honest question, I want an honest answer. If you men are too wimpy to handle that, please stop blaming women for your insecurities. And if you men are too self-absorbed to pay to attention to your wives, LEAVE. Go be alone. Or are you afraid?

Re:Apparently you are not married.

[Holladon]

"Brilliant"? Well, fuck. Have you heard the one about the rabbi and the priest? Because I'm about to BLOW YOUR MIND with comedy genius...

wow...

[Anonymous Coward]

...people can't even compliment their mothers anymore without some APP-BULLSHIT to do it for them. I weep for humanity.

Next: LazyGirl/Boy-friend

[fahrbot-bot]

Can't wait for a future girl/boy-friend to come up with an app to handle routine/repetitive interactions with him.

Re:Next: LazyGirl/Boy-friend

[foobsr]

Can't wait for a future girl/boy-friend to come up with an app to handle routine/repetitive interactions with him.

Wondering if this does not call for mechanical extensions.

CC.

Amazing!

[angiasaa]

I find it hard to believe this story even made it to /. Or anywhere for that matter. It's amazing the junk people decide to sell, and even more amazing what people are willing to buy.

But you know what really takes the amazing cake? It is how low a journalist will stoop to cover a scoop!

Honesty is the best policy.

[Nyder]

I had a sister who used to always ask me how her outfits look. So I got honest.
"Yes, that outfit is great if you want to project an image of an desperate crazy chick trying to hook up."
"Wow, the belt takes your eyes away from how fat your ass is."
"Yes, that shirt shows enough cleavage to keep that maybe a drunk dude will try to get some action."
"I'm sure the other people will be impressed with how you manage to fit all your rolls into those tight clothes."

Needless to say, I wasn't asked my opinion about clothes that much.

Re:Honesty is the best policy.

[PRMan]

Probably works better with sisters than with wives...

Re:Honesty is the best policy.

[Nyder]

Probably works better with sisters than with wives...

I'm not stupid enough to get married.

Lazywife troubles

[Nyder]

I think he's probably having trouble with the lazywife because when it comes to be compliments, guys like to hear them after sex.

Re:Lazywife troubles

[Anonymous Coward]

Lazywife is easy:

I have a headache.

I am tired.

Did you take out the garbage?

Are you listening to me?

You're having ANOTHER beer?

When are you going to shave?

I swear to god I am going to cut your balls off and feed them to the cat if you ever look at her like that again!

Flaw in story

[Anonymous Coward]

Why is this woman asking her 12 YEAR OLD SON how she looks in her outfits?

How Freudian

Re:Flaw in story

[rubycodez]

Relax, Mrs. Robinson just practices lines with her kid she will later use on her student

You know why there's no Lazy Wife app?

[GodfatherofSoul]

[looks over shoulder] Better not go there right now...

Confucius says...

[Xphile101361]

Man who is lazy to wife in life, has wife who is lazy to husband in bed.

Re:Confucius says...

[xmousex]

that door

it swings both ways

Re:Confucius says...

[Anonymous Coward]

Man who is lazy to wife in life, has wife who is lazy to husband in bed.

Incomplete quote! He ended it with "Damnit!"

I built a /. post app, it is very popular

[Ice Station Zebra]

you can see it at work but just reading all the comments on /.

Re:I built a /. post app, it is very popular

[DirtyLiar]

What you don't understand is that I wrote an app that posts to /., and I'm responding to one of it's posts right now! ;)

LazyWife phrases....

[realsilly]

...

"I'm fine."
"Nothing."
"Not tonight honey, I have a headache."
"Dinner is ready"
"Honnneeeey, I need your help with something."
"Your turn to feed the baby."
"I don't need anything for my birthday, really."
"You want a B---J--, I want a Mercedes, neither one of us are getting what we want tonight."

Useless

[IMightB]

Because whipping out your phone, unlocking it, opening the app and finding the correct button for the response you are looking for is easier than just forming the words with your mouth?

Re:Useless

[Anonymous Coward]

It will be voice-activated: Just say the phrase you want it to play back.

Next: Lazy politician/office worker

[rastos1]

"No comment."
"It was done in full compliance with the law"
"We would love to, but {the_other_party} will block that"
"That's the fault of my predecessor and he does not work here anymore"
"Yes, if we get more funding"
"Yes, it takes away some liberties, but it's for the children!"
"We would love to, but cancelling that bloody contract is not possible."
"If we let that happen, then the terrorists have won!"
"That's a great question"
"We will appoint a committee to investigate that"
"Pull down your trousers and bend over"

The possibilities are endless.

Lazy Morals

[bityz]

okay Ethan's Dad, it's time to give your kid some guidance:

from the transcript

one of our next app is Bargument which allows you to create a Wikipedia page that is completely fake, to prove arguments at bars, so that you are right and the other person is wrong

making it easier to add crap to Wikipedia is not being a good netizen.

Re:Lazy Morals

[rduggan]

Totally get it. The idea is to create a Wikipedia-looking page, not actually update Wikipedia. Sorry for any confusion.

Re:Lazy Morals

[bityz]

Great. And thanks for the response. I think its great that you are mentoring Ethan through this and I wish you success.

tools used?

[cellurl]

I didn't catch the "tools used".
How in 12 weeks do you get both Android+iPhone apps both out?

Help eliminate stupid speeding tickets

Re:tools used?

[TsuruchiBrian]

You make apps with little to no substance. This app sounds like it would take me an hour to write. I'll bet you could find a instructional app like this as an example of how to play multimedia files in an application on w3schools.

This app is basically just the software incarnation of a lame joke based on a tired premise.

Normally I would assume the father did 100% of the work, but thought it would be cute if the kid got all the credit. If the kids didn't admit to his dad helping, I might be tempted to believe that it was exactly the level of app I would expect from a 12 year old kid.

Re:tools used?

[rduggan]

PhoneGap + Twitter Bootstrap

Re:tools used?

[rduggan]

1. He did all the work. Spent 4 months learning Javascript on codeacademy.com, then started working on the app.

2. I helped with teaching coding and debugging.

3. Yes, just playing would be really simple. But it also records and allows you to edit phrases. So it's more than just a soundboard.

4. No one is claiming this is world changing. But he's 12 and stuck with it from coding through submission to the app store.

Re:tools used?

[TsuruchiBrian]

I realize the kid is 12, and my intention wasn't to belittle his desire to learn to program. I love programming and I think it's great when a kid wants to learn how to do it. My purpose was to attempt to demystify how it is possible that a 12 year old kid can produce an iphone and android app in 12 weeks (something which can take teams of professional programmers funded by millions of dollars months or even years to accomplish depending on the app). I am sure he's a bright kid, but this isn't completely ridiculous, like a 12 year old kid becoming a nuclear physicist or brain surgeon.

Re:tools used?

[rduggan]

I appreciate your comment and you are absolutely correct: he's bright (okay, I might be biased on that ;-) but with tools/frameworks/resources available today, it's definitely possible to produce something in 12 weeks.

Lazy Slashvertisement deserves LazyPost

[gallondr00nk]

Pick one or more:

This is bullshit.

Slashdot was better 5/8/10 years ago!

[Obvious thing] results in [obvious outcome]. News at eleven.

Where is the CowboyNeal option?

This isn't News for Nerds.

but wait, there's more

[Anonymous Coward]

Love the idea, can it send weekly auto-texts with a different generic complement each week?

'You looked great the other day, just remembered to tell you'
'Just wanted to let you know I am working on that thing you requested'
'I was thinking about how well you treat me, thanks!'

Next Upgrade

[blackfeltfedora]

Now if he adds a feature where my phone will text my wife a heart emoticon or random "I love you's" every couple of days I would happily part with 99 cents.

clone of another app

[Anonymous Coward]

This is a clone of the android app "you are beautiful".

LazyCoward

[ultranerdz]

He could make a LazyCoward edition, to automate slashdot trolling.

no likey

[Anonymous Coward]

That kid's DEFINITELY not going to grow up to be a huge piece of shit

How about an app that actually helps husbands?

[Anonymous Coward]

Check out this one that will be released soon...http://husbandhelperapp.wordpress.com

Re:How about an app that actually helps husbands?

[tryanything77]

Cool...has some features that I would definitely use.

"did you take the garbage out?"

[Anonymous Coward]

"give me your wallet so I can go to the mall"
"we never do anything anymore!"
"get your own beer!"

Oh... and also

[scarboni888]

I work in an office full of successful women. So if any person (man or woman) can't get the respect they think they deserve they need to do something to get it instead of using their victim roles as an excuse to (passive aggresive, anyone?) spread the poison to others.

Re:Oh... and also

[Holladon]

I work in an office full of successful women.

So what? What does that even mean? By many definitions, I'm a "successful woman." What does that have to do with what I said? You don't think successful people are plagued by self-doubt for any number of legitimately human reasons? Have you never heard of things like imposter syndrome? How does the fact that you know a number of women whom you deem "successful" have anything to do with my point that cultural expectations shape self-perception?

So if any person (man or woman) can't get the respect they think they deserve they need to do something to get it instead of using their victim roles as an excuse to (passive aggresive, anyone?) spread the poison to others.

Oh, man. You should like, become a motivational speaker or something, man. Secrets of the universe right here. Good stuff. Do you also run a suicide prevention hotline where you tell people not to kill themselves?

And as for passive aggression, there's little that's more passive-aggressive than quietly resenting (and coming to the internet to complain about) people who come out and ask for what they want (such as, for instance, affirmation).