Disney Announces "One Star Wars Movie Per Year" Plan
Posted by
timothy
on from the management-always-gets-the-uphill-outhouse dept.
mvar writes "Varioussourcesreport that a few days ago at CinemaCon Disney announced their plan to release, following the 2015 JJ Abrams Episode VII, a new Star Wars movie every 1 (one, uno, une) year. Yep, get your stomachs ready, because that's a lot of Jar Jar Binks."
Are they planning to continue the story after the events of "Return of the Jedi?" If that's the case, hopefully we can safely assume that Jar Jar will remain in the past.
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
fustakrakich
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· Score: 5, Funny
...they'll make it overly kid-friendly...
Oh no! Huey, Dewey, and Louie Binks! Mesa gettin' very very scared!
Indeed... And now that I've read a couple of TFA's, it sounds like... they might even release an ENTIRE MOVIE devote to Jar Jar, if they felt like it. They're talking about alternating between standalone character-based movies, and episodes of the main plot line. I do, in general, have more faith in Disney than in George Lucas for coming up with a quality film. So, we'll see what happens.....
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
The Jar Jar comment is saying that they'll make it overly kid-friendly, meaning more such characters, not necessarily the exact same character.
Maybe they'll visit a Peter Pan planet and a princess will become an X-wing fighter with her talking animal friend as the navigator.
You mean like Episode 4-6 was? Only then we were the kids.. Fx. Visiting a teddy bear planet..
And remind me who the figures of hate in the original trilogy were? Or indeed are.
--
Yeah, I had a sig once; I got bored of it.
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
ColdWetDog
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· Score: 5, Insightful
I do, in general, have more faith in Disney than in George Lucas for coming up with a quality film.
This, ladies and gentleman, is a classic example of 'damning with faint praise'.
-- Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
well theres enough material to make at least 7 more movies. Starting with lukes fight to end the war, characters like mara jade skywalker, the wedding of han and leia, their son jacen becoming a sith, the death of chewbacca trying to save hans son anakin solo... And thats only for the sequels, cause you also have the prequels, old republic and others... George left them material to last a lifetime...
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
ultranova
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· Score: 3, Insightful
And now that I've read a couple of TFA's, it sounds like... they might even release an ENTIRE MOVIE devote to Jar Jar, if they felt like it. They're talking about alternating between standalone character-based movies, and episodes of the main plot line.
Well, isn't that a good thing? Anyone(?) who wants to see Jar-Jar can watch the J-J movies, and anyone who doesn't doesn't lose much else.
--
Forget magic. Any technology distinguishable from divine power is insufficiently advanced.
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Posting as AC for rather obvious reasons, but I actually liked Jar Jar. That is until popular geek culture told me that I couldn't...
The Jar Jar comment means Disney is going to squeeze the shit out of the franchise until only pennies fall to the ground. Then they'll crumble it up and throw it away for the next cultural trash the masses will pony up for.
-- Python: 'And then suddenly you have a language which says "we're all stuck with whatever the whiniest coder wants".'
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
Custard+Horse
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· Score: 2, Insightful
In an episode of 'Spaced' Tim says "Jar Jar Binks makes the Ewoks look like fucking Shaft!"
Can you imagine Disney making a film so bad that JJB actually looks play?
New films could potentially ruin those that came before it. Highlander 2 springs to mind..
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 2, Interesting
"Star Wars X11: The Flying Leopard." Luke Skywalker (Justin Beiber) and Hans Solo (Ashton Kucher) compete for the attentions of Princess Leia (Taylor Swift). The sniping gets nasty and escalates into fist fights, which Hans wins easily. Humiliated, Luke decides to train in the ancient Jedi martial art of "Domas", which coincidentally looks a lot like Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do, only with CGI enhancements. Hans gets a surprise in the big showdown when Luke delivers a flying kick, but the match continues. Suddenly the alarm sounds... it turns out that a squadron of 10,000 Imperial fighter craft have been spotted, and many of them have crew who were also trained in martial arts.
Exactly. And today, just as it was when ET busted box office records, wild success with young movie viewers is necessary to achieve generational popularity. Disney is the perfect choice: There's no danger that they'll have budgeting problems, they're keenly aware of what a cash cow this'll be if they do it properly, and by properly, I mean to suggest they'll do their best to capture another generation of merchandise buyers.
-- Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
Ernest Hemingway
Re: Are they Sequels?
by
AudioEfex
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· Score: 5, Insightful
You mean like they did with Marvel?
(In case it wasn't obvious, that was delivered with a great big/eyeroll)
The comments from people who automatically assume that just because its Disney it's going t somehow be aimed at toddlers hasn't been paying attention the last twenty years or so. Pretty Woman, Pulp Fiction? Released under branches of Disney.
Stop thinking about Davy Crocket or Mary Poppins - Disney doesn't make live action like that any more. They went after a real director for Episode VII, they have old school Star Wars folk like Larry Kasdan working on the solo films, and again - seen any of the Marvel pictures?
The problem with the prequels wasn't the kiddificaton - that's always been in Star Wars (the droids, the Ewoks, Chewbacca to a certain extent). It was because Lucas cannot write dialogue or direct actors worth a damn and he took too much on for those films. Most casual folk don't realize that he did it direct either of the original sequels. He is brilliant, just it at those things (and even Carrie Fisher's help ghost writing couldn't save the Padme storyline, George has such a fundamental misunderstanding of women it cannot help but show).
I was never more happy than when Disney bought Star Wars - the Disney of today is much different tha the Disney we (or our parents) grew up with, and all this immature "OMGZ ITZ DISNEY!" knee-jerk garbage here and elsewhere just shows a fundamental lack of knowledge of the film industry over the past couple of decades, where Disney has realized that they have the best success when they outsource for talent and bring in the best people to do the job and trust them to do it right.
Personally I cannot wait for Abrams to have his stamp on the franchise, and the future directors who will have an insane amount of resources to make hopefully great Star Wars films. Disney is just signing the checks here and making sure it doesn't turn into porn - other than that, I think you will find this isn't Walt's Disney any more.
Anything done by Disney is meant for kids to enjoy. They'll do 'their' disney-fied version, and adult Star Wars fans will scream bloody murder that they're screwing up Star Wars. I say let the new generation of 5-12 year olds enjoy their Star Wars, without 40 year olds in costumes ruining it for them by demonstrating in costumes outside of theaters.
P.S. Jar Jar was meant to be a goofy, lovable character for the kids to enjoy, and still today grown men want to string him up. Amazing.
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
AmiMoJo
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· Score: 3, Informative
I always thought that the original trilogy was like that anyway. R2D2 was kinda "cute" and there mostly for comic relief, paired with an effeminate straight man in the form of C3PO. Then there were the Ewocks. The whole first movie was a typical Disney-esq coming of age yarn.
-- const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
I have no problem with Leia learning to pilot an X-Wing, and her animal friend already is a navigator.
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 1
Son, next time you need to log in. I have a big fat contract waiting for you.
- Disney Suit Who Knows What He's Doing with this Nerdy Star Wars Shit
Re:Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Jar Jar wasn't supposed to be a kid-friendly character, he was supposed to be a kid-friendly cashcow. Every facet is by-committee, annoying junk. He's Poochie.
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
JoeMerchant
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· Score: 3, Insightful
Highlander 2 didn't happen - it was an alternate, dead-end timeline. Nothing to see there, move along.
If Disney is going to ruin Star Wars, they're going to do it by appealing to the broadest possible market, something Lucas was desperately trying to do himself, and mostly succeeding. Did anybody here actually eat any C3P-Os in the 1980s?
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
SteveFoerster
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· Score: 3, Interesting
New films could potentially ruin those that came before it. Highlander 2 springs to mind..
Okay, that's a good point. But at the same time, I'll never be ten years old again when I watch a Star Wars movie, so I'll never have the same experience. I accept this and look forward to seeing what they come up with. After all, I can always hate it later once I've actually seen it.
I also take heart in that Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill may need the money, but Harrison Ford doesn't and he signed on. That's a weak sign, but I'll take it as a good one.
The comments from people who automatically assume that just because its Disney it's going t somehow be aimed at toddlers hasn't been paying attention the last twenty years or so. Pretty Woman, Pulp Fiction? Released under branches of Disney.
On the other hand, you can count on Disney to milk it for all it's worth, and then some.
I occasionally watch "Once Upon a Time" (Disney owned/produced), which started out well enough. Then they started adding in other Disney characters from different timelines, and it just got... ridiculous.
Shortly after the Disney purchase, an episode featured a rather prominent Start Wars ringtone from one of the characters' cell phones. Yeah. That fit right in.
Of COURSE it's not Walt's Disney anymore. They went to the Dark Side when they hired Michael Eisner. Any takers on where Lucas got the inspiration for Darth Vader?
-- Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
They're planning to own the exclusive rights to anything star wars related for the next 2000 years, if they can do it cheaply and shoddily for ridiculously high licensing fees, they will.
FTFY.
-- Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
I wanted to barbeque him and feed him to my dog. BIG difference.
-- Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
"Star Wars X11: The Flying Leopard." Luke Skywalker (Justin Beiber) and Hans Solo (Ashton Kucher) compete for the attentions of Princess Leia (Taylor Swift). The sniping gets nasty and escalates into fist fights, which Hans wins easily. Humiliated, Luke decides to train in the ancient Jedi martial art of "Domas", which coincidentally looks a lot like Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do, only with CGI enhancements. Hans gets a surprise in the big showdown when Luke delivers a flying kick, but the match continues. Suddenly the alarm sounds... it turns out that a squadron of 10,000 Imperial fighter craft have been spotted, and many of them have crew who were also trained in martial arts.
Sooo, Karate Kid IX?
Re: Are they Sequels?
by
Libertarian001
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· Score: 3, Insightful
In principle I'm not against Disney having Star Wars, but they've already made two bad decisions. 1st, they're going away from all of the Expanded Universe. Hand of Thrawn was really the way to go for the next trilogy. Beyond that, you don't have 20 years of additional product be part of the official continuity and then *poof* decide to crap on everyone and declare it persona non grata. That's just plain rude.
Just as bad, they brought in Abrams to direct. Seriously? There's a lot of good directing and writing talent out there, and JJ is not it. He already trashed Trek. I'm glad you enjoyed his version of Trek. Yes, it had much higher production values than the mess that was all of the TNG movies, but his movie was crap. One huge plot hole after another and things that frankly just didn't make any kinds of sense. I haven't seen anything from his latest Trek endeavor that makes me want to see it, and I haven't heard anything from Disney that makes me want to see the new Star Wars.
Three bad decisions. I love them as much as the next geek, but rolling out Ford, Fisher and Hamill?! Really?! Ugh.
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
cyberchondriac
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· Score: 4, Funny
Maybe it's hard to breathe because you recently died.
Re: Are they Sequels?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Pulp Fiction and Pretty Woman were Disney?
I really don't pay attention to what big company produces movies and why should I? They all have some good films and some bad films.
It gets a bit tedious watching opening credits sometimes. Company A presents a Company B production in association with Company C a Company D release. Yeah, I don't really care about all that and I realize the financial structures are purposely complicated so they can all "lose" money for tax reasons while raking in the dough but I don't really pay any more attention to that than I do the gaffer or the makeup artists in the ending credits.
The real problem I see with this is that apparently they're going to churn out a Star Wars movie every year whether it's good or not just because the franchise will make money.At some point it just becomes ridiculous and not even worth the time it takes to watch.
Jar Jar will become the standard character. Perhaps Jar Jar Jr. will even become a bumbling Jedi, cutting up droids by accident.
So, this is the disney plan. Make one valid entry and then churn churn churn out sequels CoD-style until they've burnt the whole franchise to the ground.
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
Culture20
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· Score: 4, Informative
Does anyone need to see the Anakin movies (Ep 1-3) to understand the Luke movies (Ep 4-6)?
Quite the reverse really. There are several points of emotional significance in 1-3 which are utterly meaningless if not confusing without having first seen 3-6.
Wake me when Rockey Balboa (Sylvester Stallone... still) gets on the scene half way through the movie (not because the ship is too long, but because his walker doesn't work as well on the shag carpet mind-deck).
-- Fascism: An authoritarian and nationalistic right-wing system of government and social organization. See also: NAZI's
Re: Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
The comments from people who automatically assume that just because its Disney it's going t somehow be aimed at toddlers hasn't been paying attention the last twenty years or so. Pretty Woman, Pulp Fiction? Released under branches of Disney.
Disney retired Buena Vista and sold Miramax, which leaves Touchstone as the "edgy" Disney imprint. And it is now a glorified distribution company for Dreamworks. There are still good adult movies coming from Disney but few you would be worried about your 10-year-old watching.
Regardless, it's a silly concern for Star Wars, which has always pandered to a prepubescent crowd.
Well Disney is doing Marvel universe movies every year so a Star Wars based movie might not be so bad since they can do sequels or prequels maybe they'll do a series of Revan movies or a Yoda movie it's hard to say given what they have to pick from. Though I wouldn't expect them to hold to the canon histories exactly which will piss off the star wars nerds but to be more like how they're doing IronMan and the Avengers movies compared to the comics.
Re:Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
by talking you mean singing, right? Because that's exactly what it couldl be. Star Wars with Ewoks and lots of songs.
Re:Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Are they planning to continue the story after the events of "Return of the Jedi?
Doubt it. Not if the clone wars is anything to go by. Empire = godd. Rebels = bad. All bets are off. My prediction: A convoluted dumbed down, spiritless trilogy, like the new Star Wars, but even more disappointing.
I'm not being pessimistic unfortunately, rather realistic.
Personally I cannot wait for Abrams to have his stamp on the franchise, and the future directors who will have an insane amount of resources to make hopefully great Star Wars films.
Which is, ironically, one of the visions Lucas originally had for the series.
"With an unlimited number of possible adventures, he [Lucas] could turn it into a bona fide franchise, having new directors have their go in the Star Wars galaxy, each making their own version of it. It could be like a space opera version of James Bond! The adventures could be more stand-alone types like the first film, or could also slowly develop themes and storylines throughout the series, and end in cliffhangers, like the serial episodes the movies were inspired by, or perhaps even follow side characters and different time periods. His [Lucas'] contract only stipulated a trio of films but with Star Wars quickly becoming the most popular film ever made, his plans for it were growing as well." (The Secret History of Star Wars, Michael Kaminsky, p.148)
I've always believed that's why Lucas was so open to the idea of the extended universe generated by various novels, computer games and comics; it wasn't simply because franchising rights brought him oodles of money but because it was always his intent to create a universe where others could play in too. By giving it to Disney, he's just following the logical conclusion to this dream. He's (hopefully) recognized his days as a movie-maker are behind him but now others can develop the world he created.
The fact that Disney will milk the franchise for all its worth might even be seen as an advantage. Other studios might use it for one or two movies then lock the IP away never to see the light of day again. Disney revisits their franchises fairly frequently.
In one of these movies it will be announced that Jar Jar is actally
---------- spoilers -----------
Kaiser Soze !!
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
Opportunist
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· Score: 3, Insightful
Yes, indeed. C3PO is a droid. It's a given that he has shortcomings. Jar Jar was simply a bumbling fool with SO much luck following him around that it did explain why he was still alive, but at the same time made him annoying as hell, because EVERYONE was waiting, hoping and praying that he finally bites the dust due to his antics and time and again we were being disappointed.
-- We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
... they'll crumble it up and throw it away for the next cultural trash the masses will pony up for.
No, that's when they make the "flash-back" episode, consisting of nothing but clips from previous ones. Luke Skywalker and R2D2 get caught in a parallel dimension by flying to close to a black hole in their X-Wing, and spend the rest of the 180 minutes reminiscing about the good 'ol days, or about Christmas parties past.
Back when I was a kid I remember seeing a Highlander cartoon on several occasions. It was kind of a wierd show b/c at that point I hadn't seen the movies yet so it took a few episodes before I figured out WTF was going on. The animation quality wasn't as bad as some kids' shows were back in the day but they made Highlander more kid-friendly; characters didn't have to behead each other to absorb a quickening anymore--they just held a sword and a beam of light shot up into the sky or something like that (it's been awhile since I've seen it).
-- "It is a denial of justice not to stretch out a helping hand to the fallen; that is the common right of humanity."
Re: Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
On the other hand, you can count on Disney to milk it for all it's worth, and then some.
So you're saying nothing is changing.
Re:Are they Sequels?
by
Mikkeles
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· Score: 3, Funny
Han Solo as a crotchety old man.
In my day, we had to make the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs, both ways!
...you don't have 20 years of additional product be part of the official continuity and then *poof* decide to crap on everyone and declare it persona non grata. That's just plain rude.
But that's what Abrams et al did to Star Trek. They made a mangled remark of The Original Series and did enough that the entire future, all the Star Trek series from Next Generation on, are all gone now, wiped out by a bullshit time travell plot. >:(
In the coming Age of Abrams, you'd better be ready to see Star Wars go the same way. >:(
"1st, they're going away from all of the Expanded Universe."
It was the right decision. Disney is obviously not going the same direction with the franchise as "Hand of Thrawn"; and the Sith vs Jedi will never be portrayed as not absolute good vs evil.
Disney saw how Star Wars would fit in their their brand with Jar Jar, and I guarantee you we will be seeing a lot more of him. And they will make far more money than if they produced anything close to what a fan would like or what would be considered good story telling.
-- Troll is not a replacement for I disagree.
Re:Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Movies can be kid friendly and still be great movies.
Episodes 1-3 were kid friendly, condescending, and just plain stupid.
They were stupid because they suffered from excessive input from George Lucas.
Re:Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
> EVERYONE was waiting, hoping and praying that he finally bites the dust due to his antics > and time and again we were being disappointed.
Sort of like Gilligan?
Re: Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Scratch one off the bucket list. I have finally found somebody who doesn't like the new Trek movie.
Congratulations sir!
Right, next on the list....finding somebody who is a right-winger whom isn't a religious fanatical nutjob with questionable critical thinking skills.
Yeah, some of us see the Ewoks as the beginning of the stupidification of the series. There's a reason I cheer when the Stormtroopers actually manage to kill some of the little Ruxpins. Of course, trying to explain why I'm cheering to my kids can be a little awkward. My complaints of blatant commercialization and manipulation of a young audience seems to do nothing to dispel the disapproving stares.
I would put more faith in Harrison Ford's appearance if I hadn't seen Indiana Jones Meets the Aliens. Ford's involvement sadly does nothing to indicate script quality.
The cynical side of me wonders if J.J . Abrams is going to be able to find a way to make time travel work as a plot mechanism in the Star Wars universe.
*sigh* when did I turn into such a cynical old fart when it comes to my sci/fi
Just because there's a metric shit-ton of Star Wars books out there doesn't mean Disney's going to use any of them. Likely, we'll see Princess Leia cavorting around with alien bluebirds cheesily CGI'ed in, circling her and chirping irritatingly, in the musical version of Star Wars.
-- Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
Also, everyone hates Jar Jar, and Disney is a marketing company that is aware of this.
Re:Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
I think this is the million dollar question, they can't really continue the story after return of the jedi without completely recasting it.
There's story that already exists that the original cast could do but will they do that? Or will disney decide to just make their own story and ignore all the books and what not that have been written since then?
Re:Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
>TV show
That didn't happen.
Re: Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Oh for crying out loud. The wrote more of that Thrawn shit? That was fucking terrible. Puerile, even. Still, it explains a lot about you.
I prefer to think that after the events of that movie, Old Spock simply took a ship to the Guardian of Forever, jumped through, and restored the original timeline. After all, there were time travel plots for far less grandiose reasons than saving the Vulcan homeworld...
Re:Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Lucas did great with the droids in the first three films but ramped it up and waaaay over the top in the last three.
Subtle. That's the word that needs to be remembered. Less is more, if it's subtle.
Just because there's a metric shit-ton of Star Wars books out there doesn't mean Disney's going to use any of them. Likely, we'll see Princess Leia cavorting around with alien bluebirds cheesily CGI'ed in, circling her and chirping irritatingly, in the musical version of Star Wars.
And it would still be less irritating than Yoda.
-- To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
I'll never be ten years old again when I watch a Star Wars movie
I'm afraid that just about says it all. Star Wars is fine if you're under 11. After that, you need to move to more grown up stuff like Doctor Who or one of the films/TV shows set in the marvellously well-drawn and rich Star Trek universe.
-- To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
Re: Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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I think you have directing confused with writing.
Re:Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Okay, that's a good point. But at the same time, I'll never be ten years old again when I watch a Star Wars movie, so I'll never have the same experience.
Since I was 25 when it came out, I never got a chance to see it when I was ten (I'm five years older than Carrie Fischer, she used to be hot). But I'm amused at all the "Lucas ruined my childhood with EPs 1-3". That just blows my mind, as bad as I disliked Jar Jar, he wasn't nearly as bad as Ewoks. IMO all three of the prequels were far superior to Planet of the Ewoks; that movie was just childish and obviously was not aimed at adults.
That opening space battle scene in EP3 was awesome, I thought (although not nearly as awesome on a TV as in the theater).
It's Disney now. Chewbecca won't die, Han and Leia will live happily ever after, and Jacen will become a benevolent emperor and the supreme force of good!
-- +1 Disagree
Re:Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
I guess you missed Disney's rendition John Carter of Mars.....
Laser blasts or magic missiles - from a story telling point of view it doesn't really matter. There's a reason science fiction and fantasy are often lumped together, they're practically the same thing.
-- +1 Disagree
Re:Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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lame, they aren't going to stick to the non kid friendly ewoks cartoon, ewoks MFT movies, droids cartoon etc. etc....
No. They're not. You're suffering from semantic confusion. You don't know what science fiction actually is. Lasers do not make something science fiction either.
Science fiction is fiction which deals with the implications of changing technology as a fundamental part of the plot's central conflict. It can be as easily set in 3000 BC, dealing with the invention of writing, as it can be set in AD 2500 dealing with the invention of time travel.
You may be suffering from pedantic confusion... The plot doesn't need to be about evolving technology, more often then not it's just exploring contemporary philosophical questions through technology. Hell, the storyline in Star Trek VI was to explore the end of the Cold War - or do you not consider that "true" science fiction? Literature is always always about exploring ideas. The same ideas and plots can be set against any sort of backdrop - it's the setting and story that define the genre moreso than the philosophical underpinnings.
In any case, we're both wrong. Anybody who knows anything knows that Star Wars is a space western. Space cowboys, space slave bosses, space railroad men, space Pinkertons...
-- +1 Disagree
Re:Are they Sequels?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Quite the reverse really. There are several points of emotional significance in 1-3 which are utterly meaningless.
Hell, the storyline in Star Trek VI was to explore the end of the Cold War - or do you not consider that "true" science fiction?
Not sure, as I've never seen it. So I won't comment on it.
The term science fiction is only useful as a genre identifier to the extent that it refers to a genre with distinctive characteristics. Romance novel does not refer to any novel that happens to have a plot centered on sexual relationships. Romance novel, as a genre identifier, refers to a certain collection of archetypes, tropes, and conflict-resolution pairs.
A few examples:
Cryptonomicon is science fiction. The central conflict of the novel is the way in which computationally secure cryptography affects both individuals and societies. This conflict plays out on several levels in the novel from the personal to the geopolitical, but (with the exception of our reader-stand-in's romantic entanglement with America) the conflicts are all about how people react to and cope with technological change.
Farenheit 451 is science fiction. The central conflict of the novel is the way in which modern media causes an intellectual cheapening of the society and the "inevitable" (from the persepective of Bradbury's soapbox anyway) consequences of that cheapening.
The Ringworld series is science fiction. The novel handwaves essentially all of the technology involved. For all intents and purposes the technology is simply magic. HOWEVER, the actual conflict of the series is driven by the role that technology plays in the lives of the characters--i.e. how people as individuals and societies react to that technology. The technology radically affects their lives. THAT is science fiction. IF we had this tech, what would change?
Much of Star Trek is science fiction. Some of it is not. Those parts of the series/movies that center on how alien contact changed human society, or how various technology types change human existence are science fiction. Other parts are not.
Star Wars is NOT science fiction. None of the technology in the film has any noticeable consequences for the lives of the characters. All of the technologies are stand-ins for existing technologies. Replacing bullets with lasers when that change has none of the consequences it logically should is not science fiction. It is only science fiction when the consequences of that change are at issue. When they are not, it's some other genre (usually fantasy, but not always) in a funny costume.
Exploring the consequences of replacing bullets with lasers would be science fiction. For example, if the space fights were radically different because of the fact that lasers travel at the speed of light. If on planet battles were complicated by atmospheric interference/obstruction. Tactics would have to change. Instead we see space battles with WWII dogfight movie tactics (which would be physically implausible at best). The technology never has any consequences. It never functions any differently from existing equivalents.
The tropes and archetypes in Star Wars are all fantasy tropes and archetypes. They're not western tropes. Even though Space Operas were inspired by Horse Operas, Star Wars is unusual among Space Operas as it does not hew to most of the tropes of the Western genre (in the way that say, Firefly does).
I for one would love to see them make a big budget Jar Jar Binks movie. It seems like ages since we had a financial train wreck like John Carter (of Mars).
-- All I want is a secure system where it's easy to do anything I want. Is that too much to ask ~~ Randall Munroe
Maybe they shoot together and then split it up
by
eksith
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· Score: 4, Interesting
A bit like the LOTR series, maybe they're actually planning to continuously shoot one movie that then gets sliced to comfortable (relatively speaking) run times.
-- If computers were people, I'd be a misanthrope.
Re:Maybe they shoot together and then split it up
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Impy+the+Impiuos+Imp
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· Score: 2
> sliced toÂcomfortable run times.
So they're going to shoot 12 hours all at once and release one chunk over the next 37 years?
-- (-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
Re:Maybe they shoot together and then split it up
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AmiMoJo
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· Score: 2
So it will be a 1 hour movie stretched to three hours every year?
-- const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
Re:Maybe they shoot together and then split it up
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Tim12s
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· Score: 1
In Cinema Advertising.... I shudder even typing this
Re:Maybe they shoot together and then split it up
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Carewolf
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· Score: 1
So it will be a 1 hour movie stretched to three hours every year?
The post you replied to did say LOTR, not the Hobbit. But yeah, the formula could just as well end up as the Hobbit instead of LOTR, though if they throw everything out they shouldn't at least be burdened with a thin source material better suited to a 30 minute animated feature.
Re:Maybe they shoot together and then split it up
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Opportunist
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· Score: 1
Well, it will be a movie with a script that can fill an hour stretched to three. In other words, like Episode 1-3.
-- We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Re:Maybe they shoot together and then split it up
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asmkm22
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· Score: 1
I have a feeling each that only the "sequels" will have a shared story. The off-year movies, which apparently will focus on side characters, will most likely just be single shots for easy money. LotR worked as a single shoot because it was basically just one big movie edited into three parts.
We're going to have some real Star Wars fatigue.
Re:Maybe they shoot together and then split it up
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F34nor
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· Score: 1
It is a damn shame that they didn't slice LOTR into 5 slices for the five books. It is also a damn shame that Jackson had NO idea what he was doing whne he got to the TT. Every story can be reduced to one active voice sentance e.g. Fellowship was, "The Ring tests the members of the company." The Two Towers should have been "The meek use empathy and manners to recruit the strong." (Frodo and Sam recruit Shemgol against Golum and Sam and Merry recruit the Ents.) Every time Jackson violated this is was PAINFUL. Hobbit trick Ents? Go fuck yourself. Farimir takes the Ring? Oh wait you even forgot the premise of the first movie. We need to Phantom menace the Two Towers soooooo badly.
Re:Maybe they shoot together and then split it up
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
There's going to be a pod race with 57 hours of footage - Ben Hur springs to mind - and that will be episodes 10 through 29.
Re:Maybe they shoot together and then split it up
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Please don't nerd rage on me, but I always thought there were six books (two in each of the three volumes). No?
Re:Maybe they shoot together and then split it up
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eksith
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· Score: 1
I have a feeling the studio had more to do with this than Jackson though. Granted he had a lot of creative control, but I'm sure there's a lot to the movie making process we're not privy to. Plus the thing has to make money and that means cutting and slicing until Joe popcorn-vacuum is willing to sit down for more when each movie was already pretty long. It's also a very expensive production.
I think Tolkien's family wasn't too happy with the end result either. The complaints were along the same lines and I can't say I would have disagreed.
-- If computers were people, I'd be a misanthrope.
Jar Jar Binks "Webisodes"
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
I've heard from sources that there are Jar Jar Banks "Webisodes" coming.
Re:Jar Jar Binks "Webisodes"
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cameloid
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· Score: 1
It would appear that the stars are almost right...
H.L. Mencken
by
selectspec
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· Score: 4, Insightful
“No one in this world, so far as I know — and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me — has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.”
“Because the plain people are able to speak and understand, and even, in many cases, to read and write, it is assumed that they have ideas in their heads, and an appetite for more. This assumption is a folly.”
I expect we'll see a mix. They obviously want to do episode 7/8/9 but.. they have a wealth of source information out there. Tons of books.. What they'll probably do is have a team working on the "Core" movies and other teams filming other movies. Based on other books/characters/etc that will help keep it a little fresher.
I have very strong doubts that disney would bother looking at the expanded universe, much less actually acquiring the rights to make those stories. I wish they would, but I think they won't.
-- -It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.
Re:A mix
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
except all those stories' rights(read: anything star wars) are now owned by disney.
How else are they more or less going to keep indefinitely doing a movie a year? They've got to move on to other things after episode 9. George only had 3 scripts left for that series, and once those are done, what would they do? They've either got to write their own or move into the wealth of Star Wars novels that are already out there. The good news with those is that they've already got years of feedback about a lot of them so they can get an idea of what the fans liked.
One movie a year isn't that much when you've got a three-year lead-time. It's not necessary to complete each movie individually in a year 2013: Script treatment 2014: Shooting #1, Script treatment #2 2015: Post-production and release #1, Shooting #2, Script treatment #3 2016: Post-production and release #2, Shooting #3, Script treatment #4 And so on. The trick would be hanging on to your actors; you'd probably need to rotate through different producers/directors too.
As Tim of Ctrl-Alt-Del said, they've been pumping out Marvel-universe movies faster than that, and most of them have been pretty darn good. If they mine the better expanded universe fiction, there's no reason to expect they couldn't produce decent movies at a one-per-year rate.
-- Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face
Re:Lead Time
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 1
They being? Not Disney, or the production team behind Star Wars Episode VII, or did you not notice that?
You left off a step. Even without getting George'd, there is almost a requirement for all Star Wars movies to get altered on a semi regular basis so you can sell them all over again.
2013: Script treatment #1 2014: Shooting #1, Script treatment #2 2015: Post-production and release #1, Shooting #2, Script treatment #3 2016: Special Edition release #1, Post-production and release #2, Shooting #3, Script treatment #4 2016: Special Edition release #2, Post-production and release #3, Shooting #4, Script treatment #5 2017: Ultimate Edition release #1, Special Edition release #3, Post-production and release #4, Shooting #5, Script treatment #6
Re:Lead Time
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
done right effectively they will do what George REALLY wanted to do.. run it as a true serial. LOTR showed if you plan properly people are more than willing to show up. If there's any franchise that could pull it off it's Star Wars.
At least Disney "Special Edition"s are focused on restoring the original without any enhancement and just having some special features alongside it. You could hope that Disney brings the original edits of 7-9 onto a "Diamond Edition" Blu-ray with all of Lucas' later edits removed. Or was that a condition of purchase of the series?
Its not that terrible of a timeline... if you've already got a good story to tell.
I'm a bit concerned by the fact that the first thing I've heard about the movies is their release schedule. Probably they're just keeping things mostly under their hats for the moment, but it still reeks a bit of a mismatch of priorities. Like the freshman in college who proudly states they want to get married before they're 25... and doesn't have a girl/boyfriend.
Re:Lead Time
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
George deliberately destroyed the original film stock, the best quality you can get for the unremastered IV-VI are the Laserdisc transfers.
Like a TV series, a 'movie series'
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 1
So, its kinda like a TV series, but you have to pay $10 per episode. Genius!
Re:Like a TV series, a 'movie series'
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jamstar7
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· Score: 1
So, its kinda like a TV series, but you have to pay $10 per episode. Genius!
$16. Per seat. Plus the hideously overinflated styrofoam popcorn.
-- Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
Re:Like a TV series, a 'movie series'
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Remember Police Academy? Remember how shitty it started out? Well...
The upcoming eighth film of the movie series is directed by Tosh.0.
Let that sink in for a fuckin'... decade!
Re:Like a TV series, a 'movie series'
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smellotron
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· Score: 1
$16. Per seat. Plus the hideously overinflated styrofoam popcorn.
If you don't like the ticket price or the popcorn, why not just wait to rent or stream it at home?
The first scene, in the first movie, is a slo-mo shot of Jar-Jar Binks getting his head sliced off with a lightsaber. That might go a ways towards regaining the audience that Lucas has managed to piss off so heavily with eps 1-3. Casually mention a disease that wiped out all the Gungans and Ewoks...
I doubt it though, I imagine Disney will continue the Lucas development cycle: 1) Think of products that can be marketed easily to kids 2) Come up with some script that links those products together in some manner. Regular rules for storytelling, or logic need not apply. Hire any actors who will sign, giving the main roll to the worst actor you get. 3) Sell as much merchandise as possible, use some of the profits to make the next movie, starting over at 1.
I sincerely hope I am wrong mind you and that Disney hires someone who *gets* what was attractive about most of Eps 4-6 and makes films in keeping with those at least, but I doubt it will turn out that way.
-- "The first time I got drunk, I got married. The second time I bought a chimpanzee, after that I stayed sober" Arian Seid
Yup, I think you pretty much nailed it on all points, but I would add this: Whatever is produced, the kids are guaranteed to love it. It turns out that children are kinda stupid and have terrible taste. I think the "adult" reaction to all this is to just leave the Star Wars franchise to the children, and not to expect it to entertain us adults. This is our attitude to everything else that Disney does, so why an exception out of Star Wars? Let the kids have their cartoons (let's face it, that's how the franchise will continue: cartoons with some live action greenscreen acting pasted in). We'll always have Whedon's Avengers, Game of Thrones and other such fairy tales that are enjoyable by adults. I don't think that Disney will be making any of them.
The first scene, in the first movie, is a slo-mo shot of Jar-Jar Binks getting his head sliced off with a lightsaber.
Unfortunately, the second scene has the camera view swooping through the door marked "sekrit cloning lab" into a room filled with tens of thousands of mechanical pods. Lids on the pods slide open in unison, as the camera zooms in to the blank soulless gaze of a Jar-Jar clone. Scrolling title text rolls from the bottom of the screen, receding to a vanishing point:
too fast, too mercifull. toss him into a sarrlac and have footage in the belly of him screaming and getting disfigured during a few minutes of slow digestion
Agreed. There used to be a time when Disney used to stand for quality but that's really no longer the case.
I was kid when Empire was first released. The story was way too dark/scary for me at the time. Now, the movie is absolutely amazing,
There's a lot of really cool stuff they could do in SW movies. It doesn't have to be gory. If you sacrifice toy sales, you can make a hell of a better movie. Kids don't belong in the theater. They don't need to see a movie of beheadings, bar fights, understanding what bounty hunters do, see giant armies and exploding planets.
If any other movie director/company had the license, there are some really cool things you could do with the movies.... SFX, dialog, etc. but it just anin't gonna happen with Star Wars. I hope something cool happens, but I'll just settle blissfully with the idea I at least got to see Empire.
The Marvel movies, despite Disney owning Marvel studios, have actually been fairly good despite fast releases. I never read any SW Sci-Fi novels, but could it be they're just going to adapt some books into movies.... kinda like Flemming's 007 series?
1) Think of products that can be marketed easily to kids
I am famously cynical and even I think you're being simultaneously overly and inadequately cynical. Inadequately because kids will buy anything stamped "Star Wars", and overly because I don't think Lucas is just trying to make stuff that appeals to kids without any concern for whether it's a good idea or not. Remember, he doesn't need more money, he's got enough money to make lots more of it investing even in sure things.
-- "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Re:Hopefully...
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
4) Release shovelware Action RPG (bonus if it blackscreens on install + the patch takes 2 months)
I think one of the most interesting things about Lucas' Universe is there IS a great deal of room for adversity. If you've got thousands of planets with life there is the possibility that it will run the gamut between cute and cuddly (Ewoks) to big and nasty and slimy (Jabba the Hut) to big, bad-ass warrior tribes (Wookies). The biggest problem with the latter movies is it appears Lucas tried to focus too much on the cute/cuddly/silly side (everything from the young Anakin to Jar Jar) and left those of us "adults" with the feeling we were watching a "Saturday morning cartoon" version of Star Wars. If you've got an "Ultimate Evil" that is trying to take over the Universe and you DO have a large diversity of life, it's inevitable that you will eventually have a "Storm Troopers VS Ewoks" chapter. The trick is to know when and where to tell that chapter of the story. That is the sort of story that WOULD play well on Saturday morning and it works out for everybody (the story is told, the kids get their content and Disney gets to sell lots of Ewok and Storm Trooper paraphernalia). However, if the movie writers DO decide that "Ewoks VS Storm Troopers" is an important part of the storyline for one of the new movies, I'm just hoping they keep it in context and don't try overuse those cute and cuddly characters to the detriment of the entire movie. It's really not that difficult... Disney has a gold mine with this if they just follow the formula of "A New Hope" and "Empire Strikes Back" for the movies and will be content to leave the lovable, kiddie stories for Saturday morning. So, here is your chance Disney to give those of use old enough to have watched the original movies in a theater hope for another, "A New Hope".
Just don't forget this: A big part of the reason so many of us loved the Han Solo character is BECAUSE he shot first;)
Yup, I think you pretty much nailed it on all points, but I would add this: Whatever is produced, the kids are guaranteed to love it. It turns out that children are kinda stupid and have terrible taste. I think the "adult" reaction to all this is to just leave the Star Wars franchise to the children, and not to expect it to entertain us adults.
It's a sensible and rational suggestion, but there are good movies for kids that also manage to entertain adults. George Lucas din't have the knack, but Pixar (Wall-E, The Incredibles, Up) and Dreamworks (Antz, Shrek, Wallace & Gromit) does.
sure, could do it that way over couple minutes: jar jar and the sarrlac system initiation, jar jar at 100 years, jar jar at 200,.....but point is for those of us who suffered through TPM, we need the satisfaction and the closure.
Well, you can prove that the Ewoks are extinct mathematically, no need for a disease. It has to do with the small fact that a Death Star exploded in orbit around Endor and the tonnage of debris (about 1/4th of the total mass) that would inevitably rain down upon the surface. Imaginge the dinosaur-killer meteor strike thousands of times over. Considering the fact that Ewoks were not a spacefaring species...
I don't think Lucas is just trying to make stuff that appeals to kids without any concern for whether it's a good idea or not.
The problem started when he got kids of his own, and started thinking about what was appropriate for them to see. That's why the whole "Han shot first!" fiasco came about.
4) Release shovelware Action RPG (bonus if it blackscreens on install, bricks the computer, + the patch takes 2 months and costs $75)
FTFY.
-- Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
Re:Hopefully...
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
No. Killing him would just get me to look at that part. You have to slowly beat him down. Have someone give him a "why you suck" speech over a two hour time. I will look at the whole movie.
I haven't followed them recently, but is it fair to attribute this to Dreamworks? "The Wrong Trousers" is credited to Aardman Animations and the BBC; I think I discovered them through PBS. All that says about Dreamworks is that they have good taste in claymation inventors.
Re:Hopefully...
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
star wars: the musical
alternative title: high school musical 4: the force
starring 12 teeniboppers you've never heard of before then.... several of which will try to make it as musicians, 2 might succeed at least for a year or two... 4 of them will have nekkid pictures floating around the internet within two years, three end up in rehab.....
and all of them you'll wish you never heard of once the disney marketing blitz begins.
The first scene, in the first movie, is a slo-mo shot of Jar-Jar Binks getting his head sliced off with a lightsaber.
That scene alone might make the movie ticket worth it. Especially if done in 3D with a full range of special effects (i.e. seeing the blood spurt out and so).
you know we tried that but it puked Lucas and the worst of the others right back up
Re:Hopefully...
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
The first scene, in the first movie, is a slo-mo shot of Jar-Jar Binks getting his head sliced off with a lightsaber.
Oh God... Oh God yes! Yessss! Jar Jar's head is sliced off by a bottom-of-the-barrel battle droid. A split-second later, the droid is smashed to bits by the foot of an At-At walker just to drive home the pointlessness of Jar Jar's existence. Thank you, Mr. Phrogman. This thought has brightened my day.
They'll be crap. Period. You can't churn stuff out that fast and not use cheap CGI, lots of regurgitated stock scenes and cardboard sets. We're talking Galactica1980 bad. Next they'll say they'll have the focus on gangs of pre-teens and it'll turn into "Bad News Bears in Space"....
I disagree. What we will get is very expensive CGI, lots of regurgitated stock scenes and non-existent sets (because a greenscreen background is not a set).
Personally I was sick to death of the whole franchise after the 2nd sequel/prequel? (the second new one released after the first 3 originals).
Personally after growing up with and loving the original trilogy, the poorly executed CGI completely killed it for me whilst seemingly adding nothing groundbreaking to the main story.
It has now become a case of I will actively avoid anything star wars based, and I hate them all for ruining what was quite possibly the best Sci-Fi story ever made! Fuck Lucas, Fuck Disney, Fuck em all!
-- Remember kids: What's right isn't as important as what's profitable.
Personally after growing up with and loving the original trilogy, the poorly executed CGI completely killed it for me whilst seemingly adding nothing groundbreaking to the main story.
Not that the original stories were particularly groundbreaking... They were pretty much a collection of long extant tropes strung together with some spectacular (for their time) special effects.
For some extremely loose definition of science fiction. Star Wars had fiction but no science. It is sword and sorcery in space.
Irvin Kershner, director of Empire, himself said Star Wars is not science fiction -- it is a fairy tale. It is mythology in the truest sense. Joseph Campbell remarked at length about the mythological qualities of the original trilogy, calling it a modern mythos for our time, and the primary reason for its success. It embodies many of the mythological themes that remind us of the essential adventure of life. We need good, solid human stories told in fantastic settings featuring great heroes to embolden us to bring just a little more of the fantastic into our regular lives, to be the heroes we need to be for our families, friends and communities. The original unmodified trilogy did just that and, IMO, everything since has been trying to ride the coattails of the power of that original mythology.
-- "Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff."
- Deep Thought
Re:More??
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Would StarWars become a sci-fi story if there were no jedis? (mostly the same story, but without "the force")
Which movie wolud you consider sci-fi? - Blade Runner? - Matrix? - 2001 space odyssey? - star trek? - planet of apes?
Death Star, Millenium Falcon, advanced medicine, advanced robotics, faster than light travel... Certainly those concepts and technologies at least imply a great deal of scientific developmental background.
Agreed. High-tech gadgets alone don't qualify something as sci-fi, when the entire thrust of the story so completely conforms to the common parameters of fantasy fiction. Messianism, magic ("the force"), melodramatic villains-- hence "Legend of the Seeker" is nothing other than Star Wars with metal swords.
-- Incipiamus, fratres, servire Domino Deo, quia hucusque vix vel parum in nullo profecimus.
"Space Fantasy" might be more accurate, since it wouldn't really be fair to try to compare anything that happens in Star Wars to science (Not fair to both Science, and Star Wars.) But obviously we're mining the same node on that one.
For some extremely loose definition of science fiction. Star Wars had fiction but no science. It is sword and sorcery in space.
Well, to be honest, everything after TOS was 'physics as wishful thinking'...
-- Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
Re:More??
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
You have it the wrong way around. It's not that Star Wars has some elements that magically disqualify it being sci-fi. It's that it lacks things that would make it sci-fi in the first place.
Most of the movies in your list are stories about technology. Contrast that with Star Wars where all that stuff is just a detail. Spacecrafts? Ships and fighter planes IN SPACE. Planets? Countries IN SPACE. Empire? Empire IN SPACE. Death star? Nuclear weapons IN SPACE. The last one being the most sciencefictioney element in the series except that there isn't any deep thoughts about implications of building such a thing or anything because, well, it isn't really about death star so who cares let's move on with the plot.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. There are good non-scifi movies. Plenty of them in fact.
Episode 7's already been spoiled
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 2, Funny
Re:Episode 7's already been spoiled
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Since Star Trek 11, I am convinced that even a non-risky move by Abrams would end up in a disaster.
Re:Episode 7's already been spoiled
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flayzernax
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· Score: 1
I was going to say at least the franchise is being handed to JJ Abrams he is a fairly competent director. So the new movies in the series may at least be PG13 and action packed I don't think its JJ Abrams style to do a G or PG rated Star wars Fern gully.
The worst possible case scenario... Uwe Boll gets a hold of the Star Wars franchise and infiltrates Disney.
Re:Episode 7's already been spoiled
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flayzernax
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· Score: 1
Are you really a trekkie? 11 breathed fresh blood and new young pretty faces who are reliable actors back into the franchise. 11 was a good move in the right direction. They even pulled off their roles and payed amazingly good homage to the original characters.
Was it a brand new series with full of unknown new content going in a bold new direction? No, sorry no more Captain Janeway's for you... If the movies are successful they might reboot a series though with new characters. Stick to your fan fiction for now;p
You can't please everyone and after being burned by Enterprise I'm not surprised they went with a proven formulaic approach to the movies. There are plenty twists on the "alternate universe" characters that have yet to play out.
Re:Episode 7's already been spoiled
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
ST:11 is the worst shit ever. Completely destroyed everything Star Trek stands for. I cried when I finally brought myself to watch it (TV, not Cinema). I'm thinking about becoming an alcoholic in a desperate bid to kill all memories. Whenever someone asks me about it I insist that this movie never happened. Even Jar-Jar was more bearable that this PoS. JJ.Abrahams should be put in front of The Hague court for human rights. He caused pain, visual terrorism, torture and mind rape. I think my IQ dropped below room temperature just by watching this abomination. I would rather watch Indy IV again (Tesla help me), I would rather have a lobotomy without anaesthesia, I would rather have all my teeth, finger and foot nails ripped out in the most painful way than to see ST:11 ever again in the rest of my lifetime.
I will give St:12 the befit of doubt, in particular Benedict Cumberbatch is such an awesome actor that he alone might be able to save it from the greasy clutches of JJ.A.
Re:Episode 7's already been spoiled
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speedlaw
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· Score: 1
The Vulcans allow a planet driller owned by a Romulan within range of the home planet.
uh huh
fail.....of plot
Re:Episode 7's already been spoiled
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jamstar7
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· Score: 1
The Vulcans allow a planet driller owned by a Romulan within range of the home planet.
uh huh
fail.....of plot
And the 'higher tech than most Federation planets' Vulcans never noticed it til the planet imploded? Shades of Pearl Harbor...
-- Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
Well...
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Better Jar Jar Binks than adding Wall-E in as a droid.
The true power of the dark side
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puddingebola
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· Score: 2, Funny
"No, George Lucas has sold the franchise to soulless corporate executives at Disney..."
"Nooooooooooooo, THAT"S NOT TRUE, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"
"Search your feelings, you know this to be true."
He had already fallen to the Dark Side by the prequels, where the money from tickets was irrelevant compared to the billions on merchandising rights per film. That's why Jar Jar was born...as a toy and shoehorned into the movie.
-- (-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
Re:The true power of the dark side
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Keybounce
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· Score: 1
"No, George Lucas has sold the franchise to soulless corporate executives at Disney..." "Nooooooooooooo, THAT"S NOT TRUE, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" "Search your feelings, you know this to be true."
Search your DNA report, err, Financial statement, you know this to be true.
(OK, what's the HTML tag for strikethrough? Neither < s > nor < strike > work.)
Meh, think of them as movie serials
by
rsilvergun
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· Score: 2
and it's not so bad. I hate to say it but I liked the animated clone wars movie. That said, I can't in a million years imagine JJ "Lens Flare" Abrams making a good Star Wars movie. But you never know. Maybe he'll just end up managing the project and letting better people write/edit/do all the work to it.
-- Hi! I make Firefox Plug-ins. Check 'em out @ https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/youtube-mp3-podcaster/
In b4 Vader Musical
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
And princess Leia joins the other princesses in the magic kingdom.
Re:In b4 Vader Musical
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Opportunist
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· Score: 1
-- We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
EU doesn't mean anything.
by
Picass0
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· Score: 3, Insightful
Now that there are hundreds of millions of dollars is film deals being made the Hollywood powers that be will make whatever movie they want and don't care about a bunch of books that were written years ago.
Re:EU doesn't mean anything.
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Samantha+Wright
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· Score: 1
I was pondering that, too. I suspect Disney will at least take some inspiration from non-movie canon sources, though, to capitalize on their popularity and to save on creative investment. It's not like they're letting J. J. Abrams reboot (and by which I mean completely trash) the entire storyline.
-- Bio questions? Ask me to start a Q&A journal. Computer analogies available for most topics!
Yes, they have
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Well, no. Disney hasn't produced any Star Wars movies, ever, at all, period.
Lucasfilm HAS been making those films.
Disney BOUGHT Lucasfilms.
Therefore, Disney HAS been making the Star Wars movies.
Oh. My. God! I have turned into a Slashdot pedant!
Re:Yes, they have
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 1
Well, no. Disney hasn't produced any Star Wars movies, ever, at all, period.
Lucasfilm HAS been making those films.
Disney BOUGHT Lucasfilms.
Therefore, Disney HAS been making the Star Wars movies.
Oh. My. God! I have turned into a Slashdot pedant!
No, no they haven't.. Your weak Jedi mind trick isn't enough to make me not see through that false logic...:P
That's funny. I have a plan to not watch a new Star Wars movie every year.
If that's all you plan to do, I must say I salute your resolve:)
I'm ashamed to admit it, but I will be watching them... Yes, they'll probably be bad compared to the old star wars, but a bad star wars is still a very good movie:)
Besides, there is the odd chance they might actually make something interesting.
Re:What's all this obsession with Staw Wars?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
> I never got why all the people on/. are so obsessed with Star Wars and Star Trek.
It is what many/.ers grew up with, it is a big part our collective childhood.
> east dont give a damn what happens to these movies.
Most people in West don't give shit IT in general. But this is an IT site. Many IT people (not all) like SciFi. Star Wars and Star Trek are good examples of SciFi.
Not only that but this is an English language site. Its audence is mostly westerns.
Re:What's all this obsession with Staw Wars?
by
Zontar+The+Mindless
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· Score: 2
I saw the Star Trek reboot in Hong Kong.The cinema was packed. And I saw about 50,000 Chinese kids wearing ST t-shirts around town that week.
*blows smoke from fingertip 'gun barrel'*
-- Il n'y a pas de Planet B.
but after indiana jones IV
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
it was time for lucas to retire
Nice!
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
It's nice to see that/. has finally arrived at last week's news.
The world is getting stupider..
by
kheldan
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· Score: 1, Insightful
..and Disney is one of the leaders in the charge. The original Star Wars trilogy was fine the way it was. All Disney is going to do is ruin it for everyone.
-- Are YOU using the TOOL, or is the TOOL using YOU? Think about it!
Re:The world is getting stupider..
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
as if Lucas hadn't worked to do that pretty well already for every franchise he started? They'll simply continue on until they stop getting people stupid enough to pay them for it.
Re:but after indiana jones III
by
fibonacci8
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· Score: 1
They'll be using Hamill, Fisher, and Ford again. No problem with the age of the actors.
Because, like the last Star Wars movie produced, it will all be Animated.
It's going to be a new cartoon every year.
That's one reason they cancelled the Saturday morning follow-on of Clone Wars: don't want to saturate the audience.
Here's a new trailer
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Here's a sneak peek at the new trailer for episode 7
What about the Avengers Movie...
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Didn't Disney have a hand in that?
If they treat Star Wars the same way we could be in for a plesant surprise...
If not, well you will all be vindicated.
Re:Isn't Jar Jar in line with
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mark-t
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· Score: 1
Jar Jar *is* supposed to be an alien, after all, and there's some validity to the notion that they would have some sort of accent. Since it's a human playing the part and not a real alien, it's entirely understandable that the accent is probably going to have things in common with some accent spoken on Earth. In this case, it happened to be Jamaican... and somehow, everybody and their dog is so offended by it that they want the character's head on a pike.
Now we know what the "J. J." in J. J. Abrams stands for.
-- systemd is Roko's Basilisk.
Re:What's all this obsession with Staw Wars?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
> How about taking a more global approach and creating something that appeals to audiences worldwide...
The last time I checked, there's no shortage of videos involving nudity and blonde women with large, silicone-perfect breasts and firm, rounded muscular butts without a gram of visible bodyfat. Disney won't have the nudity, of course, but I'm sure they'll find a way to work a few hundred warrior women wearing nothing but Brazilian latex body paint (led by a powerful black womyn of ambiguous gender) into at least one future episode...
You thought Jar-Jar Binks was bad?
by
XTUX345
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· Score: 1
Just wait until they find some way to give Nicolas Cage a starring role.
What they should do
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Is Patton Oswalt's version of the next Star Wars. It will be a guaranteed blockbuster. Youtube link for anyone who doesn't know what it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BBhNkywMJY
Re:What's all this obsession with Staw Wars?
by
cyberchondriac
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· Score: 1
I saw the Star Trek reboot in Hong Kong.The cinema was packed. And I saw about 50,000 Chinese kids wearing ST t-shirts around town that week.
*blows smoke from fingertip 'gun barrel'*
This should be modded both Informative and Funny,.
--
Look back up at my post, now look back down, you're on the Internet. Now look back up.
I'm a signature.
Unless they started filming for all three concurrently last year, these movies are going to stink. It would be nice if they spent a couple more years making sure the scripts are flawless before filming anything.
I do, in general, have more faith in Disney than in George Lucas for coming up with a quality film.
I would assume that Super Mario Bros., published by Disney's Hollywood Pictures in 1993, might be an exception to your general rule. Am I right?
Re:Super Mario Bros. (1993)
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Sollord
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· Score: 1
I'm pretty sure he's referring to the recent work DIsney has done with movies like the Pirates of the Caribbean and those Marvel universe movies no one ever liked
Re:Super Mario Bros. (1993)
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Kreigaffe
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· Score: 1
It's still better than the prequel trilogy -- Super Mario Bros is at least so disjointedly fucking confusing as to keep you wondering. Still better writing than Lucas's terrible "romantic" banter. Just.. awful.
-- ... still waiting for this free-as-in-beer free beer I keep hearing about.:|
Re:Super Mario Bros. (1993)
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toddestan
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· Score: 1
What. as opposed to Howard The Duck?
Re:Super Mario Bros. (1993)
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
I actually quite liked Super Mario Bros....... I'll get my coat
Re:Super Mario Bros. (1993)
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LucidBeast
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· Score: 1
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened
Re:Super Mario Bros. (1993)
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jamstar7
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· Score: 1
Hey, I liked Howard the Duck.
-- Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
Re:Super Mario Bros. (1993)
by
geminidomino
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· Score: 1
Hell, I liked Super Mario Bros AND Howard the Duck...
I'm even worse off than you and the guy below are.
Re:Super Mario Bros. (1993)
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
You take that back. You take that back RIGHT. NOW.
Next Trilogy
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Inglorious Star Wars Bastards: The hunt for Jar Jar Binks
Re:Next Trilogy
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Suddenly you step into an elevator. There's Jar-Jar and Hitler. You've got a gun, but only one bullet. * awkward and painful delay of frustrating hesitation...*
Re:Next Trilogy
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 1
Shoot Jar-Jar. Hitler will eventually kill himself anyway.
I really hate disney now
by
BlueCoder
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· Score: 2
They have gone from moderate and popular smallish moderate corporation to a megacorp with all the business practices that follow. They have no artistic integrity anymore. Just suits throwing money around and hedging bets. Then for what turns out good they keep the IP and make sequels.
Re:I really hate disney now
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Sir+Realist
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· Score: 1
Thats a joke, right? Disney has been the go-to standard for megacorp entertainment since before my father was born. And I'm _old_. They're famous for animation sweatshops, bombproof contracts to retain control and leave the artists with nothing, draconian limits on the rights of their employees, and building enormous theme parks to sell toys of characters from 20-minute shorts. Heck, Disney lobbyists almost single-handedly rewrote American copyright law to keep their iron grip on Bigears McMoneymill.
They're just doing their jobs - making money for their shareholders - so I don't actually blame them for any of it... but I sure as heck wouldn't hold them up as an example of a "smallish moderate corporation" that was in any way acting differently if they tried to "cash in" on Star Wars.
Movies now with Chrome version numbering!
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
When I read this I thought about a bunch of friends of mine that are going to watch whatever they'll release.
They're smart & educated (in the trivial, scientific meaning), but when another movie will be out, they'll take out their wallets so fast that the friction with their trousers will set them on fire.
These are the same people that feel happy when Amazon is so kind to make them a personal, tailored[*], just-'cause-it's-you offer for buying all the Star Trek movies in blueray for just something-ninetynine.
Any speculation about the quality of the movies, the subject and so on is futile, to some extent: there's so much inertia behind the franchise that we are debating about that +/- 3% of fluctuation around the monolitic huge number of people that will watch it.
No matter what.
[*]...on their movie history on Amazon Instant
no, it is mandatory viewing for some
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
For some people Star Wars represents the pinnacle of their childhood. (not for me)
I guess they get a little upset when Lucas and now Disney takes a hot greasy shit all over it.
ps - also if you have kids, you are forced to watch a lot of garbage.
Star Wars - Yoda's Revenge. Coming to theaters in 2015.
and then:
Star Wars - Yoda's Revenge. Digitally enhanced! Coming to theaters in 2016.
Star Wars - Yoda's Revenge. A bit more digitally enhanced! Coming to theaters in 2017.
Star Wars - Yoda's Revenge. A bit more digitally enhanced and in 3D! Coming to theaters in 2018.
Star Wars - Yoda's Revenge. A bit more digitally enhanced and in 3D with smell-o-vision! Coming to theaters in 2019.
Re:I foresee
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Don't forget : Yoda's Revenge will come in episodes but not in chronological order. Instead they are ordered by the intended grade of disappointment. And after 10 years, an animated TV series will be made. After that Yoda's Revenge Directors Cut will be back. Now with more lens flare. And just after your bought the DVD Box, the Enhanced Edition comes out, followed by the Limited Special Edition, superseeded by the HD Directors Cut Premium Edition. Then after 20 years of milking, "Yoda's Revenge 2 - Yoda and his son returns with a vengeance" will be pushed out. The twist: Yoda has been genetically altered and his son is not his son but a resurrected Anakin Skywalker. They travel back in time and the original Anakin will be replaced by Yoda's custom-made son. Boooyha. And all of StarWars never happened making it possible to re-release an all new StarWars trilogy. Now with even more lense flare.
yes, it was not star trek
by
bussdriver
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· Score: 5, Insightful
Abrams didn't like Star Trek, he never got it and even said so - he liked Star Wars. He managed to even blow up a whole planet with a super large ship and I was waiting for some kind of "Kirk, I'm your father" moment... He'd have used light sabers in his sword fighting scene except that wouldn't have gotten permission from Lucas.
The movie was not Star Trek and despite being a Trek fan, I was not suckered into the typical remake formula that even the most poorly made movies use today. Cameos and geeky back references don't fool me. I guess I'm not much of a Trekkie because I'm not so emotionally desperate that I shutdown my brain at a Spock cameo. Hell, Disney could put Spock into the next Star Wars movie and bill it as both a Trek film and Star Wars film and I bet people would buy it! Sheep.
There are actual recorded interviews with Gene Roddenberry about how Trek was never "dark" and "edgy" and that completely missed the point of it; he had to fight to keep it away from people trying to drag it into that direction. It had the 60's moon landing optimism about the future and how we could aspire to evolve beyond such things; he primarily used aliens to illustrate those things. Today's modern anti-heroes have no place in the world he created. Like religion, the qualities that bring people in are often forgotten and the dogma takes over; having the superficial Trek branding doesn't define what is Star Trek. I wonder why anybody bothers to study or think at deeper levels on literature, because apparently not even the authors do; anymore. I dare not imagine how Candide, ou l'Optimisme would turn out as a movie.
Yes, the last Trek movies sucked because they don't care once they make money and know they can sucker people back for a few sequels - then they bring in somebody to try something drastic so they can continue to beat a dead horse... as if the "franchise" was worn out when in fact it is 100% the studio's fault every time. They make their money because people will settle for back references with a bland thoughtless dream-like state of mind (which is why huge plot holes are commonplace; once you suspend all reasoning... see the "How it should have ended" series) All this stuff is making people more stupid while wasting their time. Entertainment doesn't have to lower your IQ.
Re:yes, it was not star trek
by
maccodemonkey
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· Score: 1
There are actual recorded interviews with Gene Roddenberry about how Trek was never "dark" and "edgy" and that completely missed the point of it...
Yet he made plenty of dark and edgy Trek, Wrath of Kahn being one example. The Best of Both Worlds is certainly a dark episode, and was made right at the end of his tenure. Every show ended on a positive beat, but you can't really claim Trek under Roddenberry was never dark or violent. Roddenberry left a trail of red shirts in his wake...
Re:yes, it was not star trek
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
I dare not imagine how Candide, ou l'Optimisme would turn out as a movie.
...or Dante's Devine Comedy as a game?
+1 anything Trek you say.
Re:yes, it was not star trek
by
Raenex
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· Score: 2
Yet [Roddenberry] made plenty of dark and edgy Trek, Wrath of Kahn being one example.
Roddenberry was forced out into an "executive consultant" position, and was against the film. It was good because they went against his wishes.
Great, now we just need an ewok princess.....
by
TiggertheMad
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· Score: 1
Saying they 'will make it' kid friendly saccharin sweet crap, implys a change of direction. Anyone else here old enough to remember the ewok made for tv movies? If you think that uncle George started shoveling out cutsy crap in episode 1, you are sadly mistaken...
--
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
1 lovable rogue WITH a talking pet that only he understood.
1 Young boy guided by an ancient wizard and two sidekick characters one of which only he understands.
The only difference between Star Wars and a BAD disney movie is that Star Wars was a GOOD Disney movie, of which Disney has made PLENTY.
And it wasn't Disney that added JarJar, it was George Lucas. Disney's comparable movie recently was the Pirates of the Carribean. And if anything, with the later movies they went to far anti-cuddly. Was it the third movie that opened with a scene that would have been cut from Shindlers list for being to gruesome?
For years, Star Wars fans have called for George Lucas to step aside and let others have a go... wel... they got half of their wish. Pitty it will probably be proven that there are worse directors out there then Lucas BUT with one a year, we COULD get lucky.
Disney is about making money and if the bad directors like Abrahms don't deliver, they will find others. And if not... well... after the prequels surely things can only get better well, if Abrahams dies a horrid dead at least.
--
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Re:As opposed to the original?
by
Grizzley9
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· Score: 1
Disney is about making money and if the bad directors like Abrahms don't deliver, they will find others. And if not... well... after the prequels surely things can only get better well, if Abrahams dies a horrid dead at least.
Just because you say it, doesn't 'make it so'. I liked (as most did) JJA's latest Trek reboot and am looking forward to what he does with SW7.
Re:As opposed to the original?
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jamstar7
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· Score: 1
Disney is about making money and if the bad directors like Abrahms don't deliver, they will find others. And if not... well... after the prequels surely things can only get better well, if Abrahams dies a horrid dead at least.
Just because you say it, doesn't 'make it so'. I liked (as most did) JJA's latest Trek reboot and am looking forward to what he does with SW7.
Meh. The Trek reboot was a bit too much 'Starfleet Academy 90210' for me. Seriously, you commission a 3rd year cadet as a fucking starship captain? You're talking jumping like 8 ranks there.
-- Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
Re:As opposed to the original?
by
yurtinus
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· Score: 1
The new Trek was entertaining, I'll give it that, but the same could be said for The Fast and the Furious movies...
Also, typing more crap to lower the caps count. Fuck you, Slashdot, don't tell me how to post. Of course typing in all caps looks like yelling, that is the whole point you rucking retreads....
--
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
The Canadian TV series was kinda fun too... guilty pleasure. There's plenty of room for more storytelling in the Highlander Universe - it's just that Highlander 2 was from another universe, one that I don't want to understand.
Meesa here to fixa yousa cable....
by
TiggertheMad
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· Score: 1
A Jar-Jar snuff film might actually be fairly popular.
I am hard already....
--
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
Re:Meesa here to fixa yousa cable....
by
jamstar7
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· Score: 1
A Jar-Jar snuff film might actually be fairly popular.
I am hard already....
I've got a couple bucks for the bootleg dvd...
-- Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
Disney Crap Sequels Division
by
Animats
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· Score: 1
Disney has an official Crap Sequels Division - Disneytoons. "DisneyToon Studios is a vibrant group of filmmakers, artists, and production teams focused on creating timeless stories with Disney's most beloved characters." They are responsible for Pocahontas II, The Lion King II (and 1 1/2), The Little Mermaid II, Lady and the Tramp II, Cinderella II and III, The Hunchback of Notre Dame II, 101 Dalmatians II, Mulan II, Tarzan II, The Jungle Book 2, Bambi II, Lilo and Stitch 2, and a number of titles with "Return" in them. Many of these can be found in the bargain bin at your local DVD retailer.
They shouldn't have any problem grinding out similar crap for another franchise. Since John Lasseter of Pixar took over DisneyToons, all films must be connected to a Disney Consumer Products franchise. So we can expect a large supply of injection-molded plastic to come with the movies.
Exactly, you can see it with the games
by
SmallFurryCreature
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· Score: 1
The original series were turned into two classic adventure games where you solved puzzles by thinking. TNG inspired some adventure but also some combat games. By the time of Voyager we are into blasting endless corridors filled with aliens FPS style. The series has over time descended from a happy vision of the future to a disotopian minimalist view of the future.
You cannot be both a fan of the original series and Enterprise because they have nothing in common. It would be like thinking that both Little Shop of Horror productions are the same... they are not and you will be very disappointed with one if you like the other.
You can see it in a comment below, "at least the new movies will be PG-13"... that says it all. Do not judge a movie by the writing or the acting or the fun of watching it, judge it by the swear words".
Some kiddies just want everything to be simple violence with anti-heroes who want to see the world burn because that is what is in their own little minds. It is what classic comics have always catered for, muscle bound men who act in think in mono-syllables and have a secret identity where their go nowhere selfs really are super heroes everybody loves and admires... nothing freudian about that. In Japan instead little boys strap on giant robots suits and crush the city they live in underfoot. Gosh, I wonder if there could be an entry in the shrinks hand book about that.
The new Star Trek appeals to that kind of audience. Leave your brain at home and show 1 dimensial characters (except for the 3d tits) and an explosion every 10 seconds or their attention will drift.
--
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Re:Exactly, you can see it with the games
by
flayzernax
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· Score: 1
I will contradict your re-buttle by saying I did like the original series and Enterprise. I honestly thought that the Enterprise show had more emotional depth then the shallow philosophical comedy of the original series.
There's a place for both. There have been dark "Original Trek Moves". The Wrath of Khan? Search for Spock? Maybe that was part of the down slide you were talking about. But they are full of defining cinematic moments that speak to a wide audience and not just borg drones out to kill everything.
The PG13 I speak of is the tendency for more political correctness in movies geared towards a younger audience. There is less debate about the merits of freedom and giving ones life for a cause and more debate for finding mommy or daddy and having a happy ending. It has nothing to do with swear words.
A measure of the intellectual and emotional respect I have for people is whether or not they are willing to interact on a level greater then discussing the weather with me because its safe and simple.
I do not get that feeling from JJ Abrams. He may not like the original premise of the series and believe its time to move on. I can understand that. I think we do have a need for a good space opera to show humans transcending their petty mentalities. But to limit yourself to a arbitrary rating system for showing that is futile. my defense I know Abrams will cater more towards mature audiences then ones he believes are two mentally incompetent to see Spock die again. But I am not sure its going to be Spock this time in 12 =)
Re:Exactly, you can see it with the games
by
flayzernax
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· Score: 1
*yes I'm mentally incompetent and cannot determine the difference between two and too and to etc etc.... sorry for the bad grammar I never catch it all.
Re:Exactly, you can see it with the games
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
It seems to me that mimics the relative prevalence of video game genres more than anything else.
You cannot be both a fan of the original series and Enterprise because they have nothing in common.
That's nonsense. I'm a fan of Star Wars and Ice Cream and they have nothing in common.
(That said, I'm not a fan of either the old series or Enterprise -- I liked much of TNG and select Voyager episodes).
Re:What's all this obsession with Staw Wars?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
I'm gonna be marked down for this, but I'm AC, so I don't give a shit...
People in the east don't give a damn what happens to these movies. I don't give a damn about the opinions of the people in the east. You're my cheaper and lower quality competition that I can outperform in technical areas 6 days out of the week...and my income figures show me that despite the many sensationalist headlines about China and India taking everything away from us tech wise, there's still a sizable group of people in the west that still value Quality over Cheap Ass Quantity that will break and need to be completely replaced or re-done every month and a half... So with that, take your goddamn opinions and shove it up your ass you little yellow commie bastard!
What will a Disney Star Wars be like
by
Opportunist
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· Score: 2
Well, let's look what it has to contain:
1. Some lovable, huggable character or characters that can be sold as merchandise and McDonalds Happy-Meal addons. 2. Some comic relief sidekicks that can be turned into their own TV show. 3. Something that can be toy-ified and sold by Mattell or the like. 4. A talking animal, preferably with huge eyes. Can be combined with 1 or 2. 5. A catchy theme. We can somehow recycle the one that exists, but somewhere we have to add some text for Elton John to sing. 6. Nobody may die on screen. At least nobody who doesn't really, really want to.
Once you got that down, throw a few lines of script in to string them together and you're done.
-- We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Re:What will a Disney Star Wars be like
by
LordLucless
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· Score: 1
Just like Down and Out In Beverly Hills, The Story of Menstruation, Pulp Fiction, Pirates of the Caribbean and the Avengers, right?
-- Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face
Re:What will a Disney Star Wars be like
by
TuringTest
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· Score: 1
That sounds a lot like Episode IV. I wonder how the Rebel Aliance theme will sound with Elton John lyrics?
-- Singularity: a belief in the "God" idea with the "demiurge" relation inverted.
Re:What will a Disney Star Wars be like
by
RivenAleem
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· Score: 1
You didn't hear the Hoth theme-tune then?
"Can you feel your toes tonight?"
Re:What will a Disney Star Wars be like
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Disney; SPACE PRINCESS! You figure it out!
Watch them in Machete Order
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 2, Funny
If you have someone who has never seen the Star Wars movies before (yeah right)...
Re:Watch them in Machete Order
by
trdrstv
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· Score: 1
If you have someone who has never seen the Star Wars movies before (yeah right)...
People are born all the time. I have a 5 year old who's seen Jedi, but not the rest (though he does like the Clone wars show).
Re:Watch them in Machete Order
by
Culture20
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· Score: 1
A 30 yo friend of mine recently watched all of them for the first time. She's a computer geek but never saw them. Unfortunately, she ignored my suggestion and watched them in numerical order instead of release-order. She admitted it was a mistake afterward.
Re:Watch them in Machete Order
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tywjohn
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· Score: 1
I just read this whole blog post and it was brilliant! Totally makes sense.
Re:What's all this obsession with Staw Wars?
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flayzernax
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· Score: 1
This is really hard. Some topics work well. Some do not. Some people have more emotional maturity, and 3rd world countries have their own action movies going on enough that they don't want to be bothered by any more large explosions. I'm just guessing here.
Also the markets to target are the ones were the average income is enough to support the movie makers. So selling movies that would appeal to sweatshop workers is a bad business strategy (Tm).
Darth Mickey, may the farce be with you
by
govett
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· Score: 1
That interval should give viewers enough time to recover between films.
Milking It to Death
by
sanman2
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· Score: 5, Insightful
The physics of Hollywood is such that it will eventually suck everything dry, like locusts ravaging the landscape until it's so barren that they starve to death. Any good stories that they have produced will ultimately be repeatedly milked to death until they are bone dry.
Re:Milking It to Death
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Batman got better after repeated attempts at it.
Re:Milking It to Death
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Producing culture for money will invariantly lead to another sequel until it gets so bad nobody pays for one anymore.
Except children's stuff. They can go on forever there because no tired old meme is so to a 4-year-old.
-- Science & open-source build trust from peer review. Learn systems you can trust.
I Have a Bad Feeling About This
by
Flere+Imsaho
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· Score: 1
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible is going to happen, annually.
-- It gripped her hand gently. 'Regret is for humans,' it said.
Jar Jar wasn't supposed to be a kid-friendly character, he was supposed to be a kid-friendly cashcow. Every facet is by-committee, annoying junk. He's Poochie.
You mean he's good for getting from one part of the world to another? Poochie ain't stupid. Binks helped Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi get to Queen Amidala.
Fiennes and Thurman vs. Connery
by
tepples
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· Score: 1
That depends on whether or not someone decides to reboot the spy franchise, unless Disney bought up that franchise too.
Re:Isn't Jar Jar in line with
by
Your.Master
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· Score: 1
I wish we were better at inventing original accents to give to aliens. It seems like we'd be better off either not even trying if we can't succeed, or completely owning it and saying "yep, that's a Jamaican accent, and we used it as a translation convention because modern stereotypes about Jamaica match Star Wars Universe stereotypes about Gungans [disclaimer: even really unfair ones]".
Though when I saw episode I, I didn't even catch on that this was a Jamaican-like accent.
get your stomachs ready, because that's a lot of Jar Jar Binks
You're suggesting we eat him?
Actually that would make an awesome movie... one of the various alien races in the Star Wars universe accidentally discovers that Gungans are extraordinarily tasty and hunts them to extinction. McDonalds could do a "McJarJar" as a promotional burger (at a guess they probably taste like Chicken). Fun for the whole family.
Got to love Robot Chicken!
by
fox171171
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· Score: 1
Darth Vader: Quickly (Jar Jar) before the separatists attack! Into the escape pod!
Re:Isn't Jar Jar in line with
by
mark-t
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· Score: 1
I recall not long after the very first Star Wars film came out in 1978, there was a bit of an outrage over the fact that all of the Empire seemed to have a British accent (although nowhere near the scale of jar-jar hate, at least from what I remember). Similarly, when the Ewoks were introduced, I seem to remember some criticisms about it allegedly being racist towards people from the Philippines, whose language, so I've been told, bears some resemblance to how the Ewoks spoke. That in conjunction with the fact that there should have been no way that these technologically undeveloped "cute and cuddly" creatures should have been able to overwhelm an armed empire squadron led to quite a lot of hate over those characters as well.
So basically, there's no small demographic of people who take the movies *FAR* too seriously and try to read into it much more than what was ever intended, when all the filmmakers were ever trying to do was just tell us a story. If we have nothing better to do than rip it apart, then perhaps our time would have been better spent doing something else. You can't blame the storyteller just because you don't like how the story is going.
Given some of the plot-lines in PotC, I hope Disney won't shy away from Lucas' original vision of Luke going bad, and Han going Ben Kenobi like the suits at LucasFilm did.
I honestly think most of the nerds here are far more frightened to discover the brave-new-jedi-utopia went horribly wrong than they are about suffering Jar Jar Binks again.
Personally, I'd be happy to see Emperor Skywalker frying Ewoks. After all, he's in love with his sister, his 'parents' were violently killed, and how many people did he kill when he blew up the Death Star? It's not going to take too much to push him over the edge.
Personally, I'd be happy to see Emperor Skywalker frying Ewoks. After all, he's in love with his sister, his 'parents' were violently killed, and how many people did he kill when he blew up the Death Star? It's not going to take too much to push him over the edge.
Shouldn't take more than a couple of mai-tais and a good legal review of his contract.
-- Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
Shotgun approach, 20 movies a year
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Vecanti
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JJ Abrams? So we can expect at least a $200 million budget? Why not just break that into $10 million dollar chunks and get a bunch of people like Bruce Campbell to start filming and put out 20 Star Wars movies ever year. Sure most will suck ass but if we can get one gem it's better then getting the one guaranteed turd.
And they shall be called....
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Anonymous Coward
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The first four films will be titled "Escape to Star Wars," "Return from Star Wars," "Beyond Star Wars," and "Race to Star Wars."
Re:What's all this obsession with Staw Wars?
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smellotron
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Star * movies were mostly popular in the western world, most people in the east dont give a damn what happens to these movies.
Be careful with that wildcarding! Are you positive that no Starcraft movie has ever been produced?
I know that was a rhetorical question...
by
Radical+Moderate
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but I'm guessing the answer is: Shortly after Episode One was released.
-- Never let a lack of data get in the way of a good rant.
Re:I know that was a rhetorical question...
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Jesus_666
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Well, between Episode One, Star Trek: Enterprise and Stargate Universe we've seen three big sci-fi franchises turn to crap without recovering. We could've had a new one but of course they had to axe Firefly after the first season. I don't expect any new quality programming anytime soon.
Well, perhaps whatever they do with Trek next will be entertaining... as long as J.J. Abrams isn't involved; everything that man touches turns into non-stop lens flares. Seriously; Star Trek was as bad with pointless lens flares as Battlefield Earth was with Dutch angles. And Battlefield was actually less ugly than Trek.
STAR WARS
Episode PSD: Attack of the Lens Flares
With the DEATH STAR destroyed again,
peace has come over the galaxy. However,
a new threat has arisen: LENS FLARES
have begun popping up everywhere, almost
as if THE DIRECTOR had been playing
around with PHOTOSHOP during
POST-PROCESSING. With no one able to
see anything, the galaxy is descending into
chaos...
*the camera pans down to briefly reveal a planet just before then entire screen is covered in garish lens flares for the next ninety minutes*
-- USE HOT GRITS WITH STATUE OF NATALIE PORTMAN (NAKED AND PETRIFIED)
Marvel
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Anonymous Coward
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Am I the only one who didn't get into the Marvel movies? They look pretty and some of them have neat bits, but I somehow wasn't into them. I didn't get through a few of the recent ones, started watching them, didn't bother to watch the end. I think it might be something about having so many unlikeable characters. More or less true to life, or at least the right wing "there are no good guys so deal with us" marketing life, but geez...
The first Star Wars movies had at least one or two serious actors, plus Harrison Ford who could tell Lucas his dialogue sucked. The special effects were the focus but they worked up the effects to go with the story. The new movies stunk because no one could tell Lucas his dialogue sucked, he killed off the best actor before the first movie was over, and there was little except special effects. Most of the Marvel movies are similar, no story but hey, that effect will look great. Downey Jr. actually tries to do other stuff a bit, at times.
The Disney executives clearly know how to make tons of money from the sale of crap, but at some point maybe we will all reach the limit to our desire for wookie action figures.
Re:What's all this obsession with Staw Wars?
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Anonymous Coward
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+1 Edutainment?
I don't see the issue
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Anonymous Coward
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Star wars is a big universe stretching over a lot of years and you can have multiple directors working on multipe eras, eg an old republic movie in production at the same time as a post jedi movie at the same time as a shadows of the empire..
I just realized. We can finally settle the age-old question.
JJ's Star Trek vs. JJ's Star Wars: Which is worse?
Re:What's all this obsession with Staw Wars?
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Zontar+The+Mindless
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· Score: 1
To address your other point:
They might be good movies for their time, but nowadays younger kids are so used to the cliched concept of 'wars among the stars', that it's gotten boring...
Well... Obviously you are right.
And this explains very nicely why some guy named George Lucas never got anywhere with re-doing 1930s-40s serials in the 1970s.
Also why Gene Roddenberry got noplace fast with his "Horatio Hornblower in Space" treatment in the 1960s. NBC knew there was no way to polish up that turd...
2) Overdoing it will RUIN Star Wars, like a second rate TV show! They'll be trying too hard just to come up with any old thing for the next "episode"!!!
Was Han gonna be Jar Jar?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
When you really look at it, Han Solo had all the same silly kinds of scenes as Jar Jar, but turned out awesome for it. Suppose that's just a testament to how badass Harrison Ford is. Particularly I think of accidentally malfunctioning Boba's backpack and the scene where he charges in, flips out and runs back.
Slashdot Mirror
Are they planning to continue the story after the events of "Return of the Jedi?" If that's the case, hopefully we can safely assume that Jar Jar will remain in the past.
A bit like the LOTR series, maybe they're actually planning to continuously shoot one movie that then gets sliced to comfortable (relatively speaking) run times.
If computers were people, I'd be a misanthrope.
I've heard from sources that there are Jar Jar Banks "Webisodes" coming.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
“No one in this world, so far as I know — and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me — has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.”
“Because the plain people are able to speak and understand, and even, in many cases, to read and write, it is assumed that they have ideas in their heads, and an appetite for more. This assumption is a folly.”
Someone you trust is one of us.
I expect we'll see a mix.
They obviously want to do episode 7/8/9
but..
they have a wealth of source information out there. Tons of books..
What they'll probably do is have a team working on the "Core" movies and other teams filming other movies. Based on other books/characters/etc that will help keep it a little fresher.
One movie a year isn't that much when you've got a three-year lead-time. It's not necessary to complete each movie individually in a year
2013: Script treatment
2014: Shooting #1, Script treatment #2
2015: Post-production and release #1, Shooting #2, Script treatment #3
2016: Post-production and release #2, Shooting #3, Script treatment #4
And so on. The trick would be hanging on to your actors; you'd probably need to rotate through different producers/directors too.
As Tim of Ctrl-Alt-Del said, they've been pumping out Marvel-universe movies faster than that, and most of them have been pretty darn good. If they mine the better expanded universe fiction, there's no reason to expect they couldn't produce decent movies at a one-per-year rate.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face
So, its kinda like a TV series, but you have to pay $10 per episode. Genius!
Meesa cash out.
The first scene, in the first movie, is a slo-mo shot of Jar-Jar Binks getting his head sliced off with a lightsaber. That might go a ways towards regaining the audience that Lucas has managed to piss off so heavily with eps 1-3. Casually mention a disease that wiped out all the Gungans and Ewoks...
I doubt it though, I imagine Disney will continue the Lucas development cycle:
1) Think of products that can be marketed easily to kids
2) Come up with some script that links those products together in some manner. Regular rules for storytelling, or logic need not apply. Hire any actors who will sign, giving the main roll to the worst actor you get.
3) Sell as much merchandise as possible, use some of the profits to make the next movie, starting over at 1.
I sincerely hope I am wrong mind you and that Disney hires someone who *gets* what was attractive about most of Eps 4-6 and makes films in keeping with those at least, but I doubt it will turn out that way.
"The first time I got drunk, I got married. The second time I bought a chimpanzee, after that I stayed sober" Arian Seid
They'll be crap. Period. You can't churn stuff out that fast and not use cheap CGI, lots of regurgitated stock scenes and cardboard sets. We're talking Galactica1980 bad. Next they'll say they'll have the focus on gangs of pre-teens and it'll turn into "Bad News Bears in Space"....
Personally I was sick to death of the whole franchise after the 2nd sequel/prequel? (the second new one released after the first 3 originals). Personally after growing up with and loving the original trilogy, the poorly executed CGI completely killed it for me whilst seemingly adding nothing groundbreaking to the main story. It has now become a case of I will actively avoid anything star wars based, and I hate them all for ruining what was quite possibly the best Sci-Fi story ever made! Fuck Lucas, Fuck Disney, Fuck em all!
Remember kids: What's right isn't as important as what's profitable.
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Gauntlet of Infinity. Kind of a risky decision to bring in the Marvel properties at this point, but we shall see what JJ Abrams can do.
Better Jar Jar Binks than adding Wall-E in as a droid.
"No, George Lucas has sold the franchise to soulless corporate executives at Disney..." "Nooooooooooooo, THAT"S NOT TRUE, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" "Search your feelings, you know this to be true."
and it's not so bad. I hate to say it but I liked the animated clone wars movie. That said, I can't in a million years imagine JJ "Lens Flare" Abrams making a good Star Wars movie. But you never know. Maybe he'll just end up managing the project and letting better people write/edit/do all the work to it.
Hi! I make Firefox Plug-ins. Check 'em out @ https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/youtube-mp3-podcaster/
And princess Leia joins the other princesses in the magic kingdom.
Now that there are hundreds of millions of dollars is film deals being made the Hollywood powers that be will make whatever movie they want and don't care about a bunch of books that were written years ago.
Well, no. Disney hasn't produced any Star Wars movies, ever, at all, period.
Lucasfilm HAS been making those films.
Disney BOUGHT Lucasfilms.
Therefore, Disney HAS been making the Star Wars movies.
Oh. My. God! I have turned into a Slashdot pedant!
Chewbacca doesn't say stupid things in a phony Jamaican accent.
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
"...Disney announced their plan to release, following the 2015 JJ Abrams Episode VII, a new Star Wars movie every 1 (one, uno, une) year. "
That's funny. I have a plan to not watch a new Star Wars movie every year.
If Slashdot were chemistry it would look like this:Cadaverine
> I never got why all the people on /. are so obsessed with Star Wars and Star Trek.
It is what many /.ers grew up with, it is a big part our collective childhood.
> east dont give a damn what happens to these movies.
Most people in West don't give shit IT in general. But this is an IT site.
Many IT people (not all) like SciFi.
Star Wars and Star Trek are good examples of SciFi.
Not only that but this is an English language site. Its audence is mostly westerns.
I saw the Star Trek reboot in Hong Kong.The cinema was packed. And I saw about 50,000 Chinese kids wearing ST t-shirts around town that week.
*blows smoke from fingertip 'gun barrel'*
Il n'y a pas de Planet B.
it was time for lucas to retire
It's nice to see that /. has finally arrived at last week's news.
..and Disney is one of the leaders in the charge.
The original Star Wars trilogy was fine the way it was. All Disney is going to do is ruin it for everyone.
Are YOU using the TOOL, or is the TOOL using YOU? Think about it!
Corrected the title for you. You're welcome.
Inheritance is the sincerest form of nepotism.
They'll be using Hamill, Fisher, and Ford again. No problem with the age of the actors. Because, like the last Star Wars movie produced, it will all be Animated. It's going to be a new cartoon every year. That's one reason they cancelled the Saturday morning follow-on of Clone Wars: don't want to saturate the audience.
Here's a sneak peek at the new trailer for episode 7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=uCp6kzXK_6w#t=2s
I saw about 50,000 Chinese kids wearing ST t-shirts around town that week.
What were you doing looking at that many Chinese kids?
That's 7142 kids per day, and 297 kids every hour. Almost 5 kids every minute.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Didn't Disney have a hand in that?
If they treat Star Wars the same way we could be in for a plesant surprise...
If not, well you will all be vindicated.
Jar Jar *is* supposed to be an alien, after all, and there's some validity to the notion that they would have some sort of accent. Since it's a human playing the part and not a real alien, it's entirely understandable that the accent is probably going to have things in common with some accent spoken on Earth. In this case, it happened to be Jamaican... and somehow, everybody and their dog is so offended by it that they want the character's head on a pike.
File under 'M' for 'Manic ranting'
> Chewbacca doesn't say stupid things in a phony Jamaican accent.
But he did manage to nail Han Solo's wife. What a wookie.
Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, religion destroys spirituality
Now we know what the "J. J." in J. J. Abrams stands for.
systemd is Roko's Basilisk.
> How about taking a more global approach and creating something that appeals to audiences worldwide...
The last time I checked, there's no shortage of videos involving nudity and blonde women with large, silicone-perfect breasts and firm, rounded muscular butts without a gram of visible bodyfat. Disney won't have the nudity, of course, but I'm sure they'll find a way to work a few hundred warrior women wearing nothing but Brazilian latex body paint (led by a powerful black womyn of ambiguous gender) into at least one future episode...
Just wait until they find some way to give Nicolas Cage a starring role.
What happened to the starwars that I used to know?
http://saveie6.com/
Is Patton Oswalt's version of the next Star Wars. It will be a guaranteed blockbuster. Youtube link for anyone who doesn't know what it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BBhNkywMJY
I saw the Star Trek reboot in Hong Kong.The cinema was packed. And I saw about 50,000 Chinese kids wearing ST t-shirts around town that week.
*blows smoke from fingertip 'gun barrel'*
This should be modded both Informative and Funny,.
Look back up at my post, now look back down, you're on the Internet. Now look back up. I'm a signature.
Unless they started filming for all three concurrently last year, these movies are going to stink. It would be nice if they spent a couple more years making sure the scripts are flawless before filming anything.
You don't have to watch it. I certainly plan on not spending my time or money on it.
I do, in general, have more faith in Disney than in George Lucas for coming up with a quality film.
I would assume that Super Mario Bros., published by Disney's Hollywood Pictures in 1993, might be an exception to your general rule. Am I right?
Inglorious Star Wars Bastards: The hunt for Jar Jar Binks
You had me at Jar-Jarmy.
Considering that was the last word of his post I'd say that was a close thing.
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/b6a63cac1f/indiana-jones-gets-raped-by-george-lucas-and-steven-spielberg-from-tubulargoldmine
I guess 3D is a 0-day DLC of sorts too.
i would love to see star wars sitcom on abc soon
They have gone from moderate and popular smallish moderate corporation to a megacorp with all the business practices that follow. They have no artistic integrity anymore. Just suits throwing money around and hedging bets. Then for what turns out good they keep the IP and make sequels.
Star Wars 27.9.834.16.
When I read this I thought about a bunch of friends of mine that are going to watch whatever they'll release.
...on their movie history on Amazon Instant
They're smart & educated (in the trivial, scientific meaning), but when another movie will be out, they'll take out their wallets so fast that the friction with their trousers will set them on fire.
These are the same people that feel happy when Amazon is so kind to make them a personal, tailored[*], just-'cause-it's-you offer for buying all the Star Trek movies in blueray for just something-ninetynine.
Any speculation about the quality of the movies, the subject and so on is futile, to some extent: there's so much inertia behind the franchise that we are debating about that +/- 3% of fluctuation around the monolitic huge number of people that will watch it.
No matter what.
[*]
For some people Star Wars represents the pinnacle of their childhood. (not for me)
I guess they get a little upset when Lucas and now Disney takes a hot greasy shit all over it.
ps - also if you have kids, you are forced to watch a lot of garbage.
Star Wars - Yoda's Revenge. Coming to theaters in 2015. and then: Star Wars - Yoda's Revenge. Digitally enhanced! Coming to theaters in 2016. Star Wars - Yoda's Revenge. A bit more digitally enhanced! Coming to theaters in 2017. Star Wars - Yoda's Revenge. A bit more digitally enhanced and in 3D! Coming to theaters in 2018. Star Wars - Yoda's Revenge. A bit more digitally enhanced and in 3D with smell-o-vision! Coming to theaters in 2019.
Abrams didn't like Star Trek, he never got it and even said so - he liked Star Wars. He managed to even blow up a whole planet with a super large ship and I was waiting for some kind of "Kirk, I'm your father" moment... He'd have used light sabers in his sword fighting scene except that wouldn't have gotten permission from Lucas.
The movie was not Star Trek and despite being a Trek fan, I was not suckered into the typical remake formula that even the most poorly made movies use today. Cameos and geeky back references don't fool me. I guess I'm not much of a Trekkie because I'm not so emotionally desperate that I shutdown my brain at a Spock cameo. Hell, Disney could put Spock into the next Star Wars movie and bill it as both a Trek film and Star Wars film and I bet people would buy it! Sheep.
There are actual recorded interviews with Gene Roddenberry about how Trek was never "dark" and "edgy" and that completely missed the point of it; he had to fight to keep it away from people trying to drag it into that direction. It had the 60's moon landing optimism about the future and how we could aspire to evolve beyond such things; he primarily used aliens to illustrate those things. Today's modern anti-heroes have no place in the world he created. Like religion, the qualities that bring people in are often forgotten and the dogma takes over; having the superficial Trek branding doesn't define what is Star Trek. I wonder why anybody bothers to study or think at deeper levels on literature, because apparently not even the authors do; anymore. I dare not imagine how Candide, ou l'Optimisme would turn out as a movie.
Yes, the last Trek movies sucked because they don't care once they make money and know they can sucker people back for a few sequels - then they bring in somebody to try something drastic so they can continue to beat a dead horse... as if the "franchise" was worn out when in fact it is 100% the studio's fault every time. They make their money because people will settle for back references with a bland thoughtless dream-like state of mind (which is why huge plot holes are commonplace; once you suspend all reasoning... see the "How it should have ended" series) All this stuff is making people more stupid while wasting their time. Entertainment doesn't have to lower your IQ.
Democracy Now! - uncensored, anti-establishment news
Saying they 'will make it' kid friendly saccharin sweet crap, implys a change of direction. Anyone else here old enough to remember the ewok made for tv movies? If you think that uncle George started shoveling out cutsy crap in episode 1, you are sadly mistaken...
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
Lets see, the original had:
1 spunky princess
1 lovable rogue WITH a talking pet that only he understood.
1 Young boy guided by an ancient wizard and two sidekick characters one of which only he understands.
The only difference between Star Wars and a BAD disney movie is that Star Wars was a GOOD Disney movie, of which Disney has made PLENTY.
And it wasn't Disney that added JarJar, it was George Lucas. Disney's comparable movie recently was the Pirates of the Carribean. And if anything, with the later movies they went to far anti-cuddly. Was it the third movie that opened with a scene that would have been cut from Shindlers list for being to gruesome?
For years, Star Wars fans have called for George Lucas to step aside and let others have a go... wel... they got half of their wish. Pitty it will probably be proven that there are worse directors out there then Lucas BUT with one a year, we COULD get lucky.
Disney is about making money and if the bad directors like Abrahms don't deliver, they will find others. And if not... well... after the prequels surely things can only get better well, if Abrahams dies a horrid dead at least.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
"THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ONLY ONE"
Also, typing more crap to lower the caps count. Fuck you, Slashdot, don't tell me how to post. Of course typing in all caps looks like yelling, that is the whole point you rucking retreads....
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
A Jar-Jar snuff film might actually be fairly popular.
I am hard already....
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
Disney has an official Crap Sequels Division - Disneytoons. "DisneyToon Studios is a vibrant group of filmmakers, artists, and production teams focused on creating timeless stories with Disney's most beloved characters." They are responsible for Pocahontas II, The Lion King II (and 1 1/2), The Little Mermaid II, Lady and the Tramp II, Cinderella II and III, The Hunchback of Notre Dame II, 101 Dalmatians II, Mulan II, Tarzan II, The Jungle Book 2, Bambi II, Lilo and Stitch 2, and a number of titles with "Return" in them. Many of these can be found in the bargain bin at your local DVD retailer.
They shouldn't have any problem grinding out similar crap for another franchise. Since John Lasseter of Pixar took over DisneyToons, all films must be connected to a Disney Consumer Products franchise. So we can expect a large supply of injection-molded plastic to come with the movies.
The original series were turned into two classic adventure games where you solved puzzles by thinking. TNG inspired some adventure but also some combat games. By the time of Voyager we are into blasting endless corridors filled with aliens FPS style. The series has over time descended from a happy vision of the future to a disotopian minimalist view of the future.
You cannot be both a fan of the original series and Enterprise because they have nothing in common. It would be like thinking that both Little Shop of Horror productions are the same... they are not and you will be very disappointed with one if you like the other.
You can see it in a comment below, "at least the new movies will be PG-13"... that says it all. Do not judge a movie by the writing or the acting or the fun of watching it, judge it by the swear words".
Some kiddies just want everything to be simple violence with anti-heroes who want to see the world burn because that is what is in their own little minds. It is what classic comics have always catered for, muscle bound men who act in think in mono-syllables and have a secret identity where their go nowhere selfs really are super heroes everybody loves and admires... nothing freudian about that. In Japan instead little boys strap on giant robots suits and crush the city they live in underfoot. Gosh, I wonder if there could be an entry in the shrinks hand book about that.
The new Star Trek appeals to that kind of audience. Leave your brain at home and show 1 dimensial characters (except for the 3d tits) and an explosion every 10 seconds or their attention will drift.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
I'm gonna be marked down for this, but I'm AC, so I don't give a shit...
People in the east don't give a damn what happens to these movies. I don't give a damn about the opinions of the people in the east. You're my cheaper and lower quality competition that I can outperform in technical areas 6 days out of the week...and my income figures show me that despite the many sensationalist headlines about China and India taking everything away from us tech wise, there's still a sizable group of people in the west that still value Quality over Cheap Ass Quantity that will break and need to be completely replaced or re-done every month and a half... So with that, take your goddamn opinions and shove it up your ass you little yellow commie bastard!
Well, let's look what it has to contain:
1. Some lovable, huggable character or characters that can be sold as merchandise and McDonalds Happy-Meal addons.
2. Some comic relief sidekicks that can be turned into their own TV show.
3. Something that can be toy-ified and sold by Mattell or the like.
4. A talking animal, preferably with huge eyes. Can be combined with 1 or 2.
5. A catchy theme. We can somehow recycle the one that exists, but somewhere we have to add some text for Elton John to sing.
6. Nobody may die on screen. At least nobody who doesn't really, really want to.
Once you got that down, throw a few lines of script in to string them together and you're done.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
If you have someone who has never seen the Star Wars movies before (yeah right)...
Recommend that they watch them in Machete Order.
This is really hard. Some topics work well. Some do not. Some people have more emotional maturity, and 3rd world countries have their own action movies going on enough that they don't want to be bothered by any more large explosions. I'm just guessing here.
Also the markets to target are the ones were the average income is enough to support the movie makers. So selling movies that would appeal to sweatshop workers is a bad business strategy (Tm).
That interval should give viewers enough time to recover between films.
The physics of Hollywood is such that it will eventually suck everything dry, like locusts ravaging the landscape until it's so barren that they starve to death. Any good stories that they have produced will ultimately be repeatedly milked to death until they are bone dry.
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible is going to happen, annually.
It gripped her hand gently. 'Regret is for humans,' it said.
As long as Jar Jar keeps getting his tongue caught in machinery and power gateways, I'm happy. Those are some of my fav S.W. moments.
Table-ized A.I.
Anything done by Disney is meant for kids to enjoy.
I can see counterexamples, such as anything produced by Quentin Tarantino while Disney still owned Miramax.
I would be happy with one decent star wars film every 40 years.
Jar Jar wasn't supposed to be a kid-friendly character, he was supposed to be a kid-friendly cashcow. Every facet is by-committee, annoying junk. He's Poochie.
You mean he's good for getting from one part of the world to another? Poochie ain't stupid. Binks helped Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi get to Queen Amidala.
That depends on whether or not someone decides to reboot the spy franchise, unless Disney bought up that franchise too.
I wish we were better at inventing original accents to give to aliens. It seems like we'd be better off either not even trying if we can't succeed, or completely owning it and saying "yep, that's a Jamaican accent, and we used it as a translation convention because modern stereotypes about Jamaica match Star Wars Universe stereotypes about Gungans [disclaimer: even really unfair ones]".
Though when I saw episode I, I didn't even catch on that this was a Jamaican-like accent.
get your stomachs ready, because that's a lot of Jar Jar Binks
You're suggesting we eat him? Actually that would make an awesome movie... one of the various alien races in the Star Wars universe accidentally discovers that Gungans are extraordinarily tasty and hunts them to extinction. McDonalds could do a "McJarJar" as a promotional burger (at a guess they probably taste like Chicken). Fun for the whole family.
Darth Vader: Quickly (Jar Jar) before the separatists attack! Into the escape pod!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdS2kCUGvfo
I recall not long after the very first Star Wars film came out in 1978, there was a bit of an outrage over the fact that all of the Empire seemed to have a British accent (although nowhere near the scale of jar-jar hate, at least from what I remember). Similarly, when the Ewoks were introduced, I seem to remember some criticisms about it allegedly being racist towards people from the Philippines, whose language, so I've been told, bears some resemblance to how the Ewoks spoke. That in conjunction with the fact that there should have been no way that these technologically undeveloped "cute and cuddly" creatures should have been able to overwhelm an armed empire squadron led to quite a lot of hate over those characters as well.
So basically, there's no small demographic of people who take the movies *FAR* too seriously and try to read into it much more than what was ever intended, when all the filmmakers were ever trying to do was just tell us a story. If we have nothing better to do than rip it apart, then perhaps our time would have been better spent doing something else. You can't blame the storyteller just because you don't like how the story is going.
File under 'M' for 'Manic ranting'
Given some of the plot-lines in PotC, I hope Disney won't shy away from Lucas' original vision of Luke going bad, and Han going Ben Kenobi like the suits at LucasFilm did.
I honestly think most of the nerds here are far more frightened to discover the brave-new-jedi-utopia went horribly wrong than they are about suffering Jar Jar Binks again.
Personally, I'd be happy to see Emperor Skywalker frying Ewoks. After all, he's in love with his sister, his 'parents' were violently killed, and how many people did he kill when he blew up the Death Star? It's not going to take too much to push him over the edge.
JJ Abrams? So we can expect at least a $200 million budget? Why not just break that into $10 million dollar chunks and get a bunch of people like Bruce Campbell to start filming and put out 20 Star Wars movies ever year. Sure most will suck ass but if we can get one gem it's better then getting the one guaranteed turd.
The first four films will be titled "Escape to Star Wars," "Return from Star Wars," "Beyond Star Wars," and "Race to Star Wars."
Be careful with that wildcarding! Are you positive that no Starcraft movie has ever been produced?
but I'm guessing the answer is: Shortly after Episode One was released.
Never let a lack of data get in the way of a good rant.
Am I the only one who didn't get into the Marvel movies? They look pretty and some of them have neat bits, but I somehow wasn't into them. I didn't get through a few of the recent ones, started watching them, didn't bother to watch the end. I think it might be something about having so many unlikeable characters. More or less true to life, or at least the right wing "there are no good guys so deal with us" marketing life, but geez...
The first Star Wars movies had at least one or two serious actors, plus Harrison Ford who could tell Lucas his dialogue sucked. The special effects were the focus but they worked up the effects to go with the story. The new movies stunk because no one could tell Lucas his dialogue sucked, he killed off the best actor before the first movie was over, and there was little except special effects. Most of the Marvel movies are similar, no story but hey, that effect will look great. Downey Jr. actually tries to do other stuff a bit, at times.
One movie per year....for the trilogy? Or until Harrison Ford finally dies?
Well, maybe not. Just keep it rated PG-13 or higher. Save the kids' stuff for cable TV or direct-to-video.
"I've got a bad feeling about this."
The Disney executives clearly know how to make tons of money from the sale of crap, but at some point maybe we will all reach the limit to our desire for wookie action figures.
+1 Edutainment?
Star wars is a big universe stretching over a lot of years and you can have multiple directors working on multipe eras, eg an old republic movie in production at the same time as a post jedi movie at the same time as a shadows of the empire..
I just realized. We can finally settle the age-old question.
JJ's Star Trek vs. JJ's Star Wars: Which is worse?
To address your other point:
They might be good movies for their time, but nowadays younger kids are so used to the cliched concept of 'wars among the stars',
that it's gotten boring...
Well... Obviously you are right.
And this explains very nicely why some guy named George Lucas never got anywhere with re-doing 1930s-40s serials in the 1970s.
Also why Gene Roddenberry got noplace fast with his "Horatio Hornblower in Space" treatment in the 1960s. NBC knew there was no way to polish up that turd...
Il n'y a pas de Planet B.
2) Overdoing it will RUIN Star Wars, like a second rate TV show! They'll be trying too hard just to come up with any old thing for the next "episode"!!!
When you really look at it, Han Solo had all the same silly kinds of scenes as Jar Jar, but turned out awesome for it. Suppose that's just a testament to how badass Harrison Ford is. Particularly I think of accidentally malfunctioning Boba's backpack and the scene where he charges in, flips out and runs back.