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At CIA Starbucks, Even the Baristas Are Covert
An anonymous reader writes with this interesting story about what it's like to work at “Store Number 1,” the CIA's Starbucks. The new supervisor thought his idea was innocent enough. He wanted the baristas to write the names of customers on their cups to speed up lines and ease confusion, just like other Starbucks do around the world. But these aren't just any customers. They are regulars at the CIA Starbucks. "They could use the alias 'Polly-O string cheese' for all I care," said a food services supervisor at the Central Intelligence Agency, asking that his identity remain unpublished for security reasons. "But giving any name at all was making people — you know, the undercover agents — feel very uncomfortable. It just didn't work for this location."
... tradition of ticket numbers?!
When you live in a sick society, just about everything you do is wrong.
Yet the government (FBI) objects to our desires for privacy (Apple & Google on-phone encryption).
Okay, and what? Is that it? Starbucks at the CIA doesn't use names for customers, just like any other coffee shop in the world, or any shop for that matter.
News for nerds = Nope.
Stuff that matter: = Negatory.
Well they can be like rest area places where it has the name but other stuff in under control of a overall vendor.
If not for that then the Manger will have to answer to Starbucks and not the CIA.
my local SB even if they know you by name (I have long histories with a lot of coffee shops around here, most of them know me by name and how I like my coffee), none of them write names on cups. They all, for large orders (more than 4 cups) write what's actually in the cups.
Political debates have me rolling my eyes so much I think I got optical whiplash. I should sue. - Foamy The Squirrel
Regular coffee is too cheap for them?
Maybe it's to give undercover agents in training some semi-real-world experience with giving false names with confidence?
I thought that was a Pike's Place in Seattle?
Use Pike or Howard :-)
I thought undercover agents would be trained to conjure up a fake identity on the spot, even under duress, and keep it consistent with any information the interrogating party may have.
Victims of 9/11: <3000. Traffic in the US: >30,000/y
I can actually understand this - suppose I was an agent and I made up a random name, like 'Polly-O string cheese'. If I used it consistently, a spy for the other side could do traffic analysis - things like " 'Polly-O string cheese' always gets a coffee, except for 2 recent periods of about a week each. Suspected agent X was reported as being in country Y, an ally of ours, during those 2 periods, and at no other time. Next time 'Polly-O string cheese' doesn't get a coffee, if X is in country Y, get the Y state security to arrest him.
If I were agent X, I would be very nervous at having to give any name, even if I could make one up each time. Humans are not very good at making up random things...
I'm a little surprised that they don't accept the rewards cards.
Why not have it randomly select a Starbucks store ID from the POS every time it processes a transaction at that location?
James Bond. And I'll take that shaken, not stirred.
What was I thinking? I'll just send Moneypenny down to fetch the coffee.
Have gnu, will travel.
Let's not lose sight of the fact that they're mostly psychopathic mercenaries and murderers -- on behalf of Big Bucks, not Starbucks.
Is this connected with the transition from Phase Two to Phase Three? Presumably it must have helped with recruitment:
"Though the coffee chain's specific plans are not known, existing Starbucks franchises across the nation have been locked down with titanium shutters across all windows. In each coffee shop's door hangs the familiar Starbucks logo, slightly altered to present the familiar mermaid figure as a cyclopean mermaid whose all-seeing eye forms the apex of a world-spanning pyramid...Remaining Starbucks employees earmarked for re-training are being taught revised corporate procedures alongside 15,500 new hires recently recruited from such non-traditional sources as the CIA retirement program, Internet bulletin boards frequented by former Eagle Scouts, and the employment section in the back of Soldier Of Fortune magazine."
http://www.theonion.com/articl...
but they all use their loyalty program cards tied to their personal credit cards....
-- Cave quid dicis, quando, et cui
I don't even drink coffee, but when I go with other people, there are plenty of coffee shops out there (some Starbucks, some not) that ask for your name.
It stands out to me, because one of my co-workers ends up with 'Richard' on his cup, because he doesn't want to waste 5 min repeating his name and then trying to tell them how to spell it.
Build it, and they will come^Hplain.
"Because the campus is a highly secured island, few people leave for coffee, and the lines, both in the morning and mid-afternoon, can stretch down the hallway."
What a waste of time and resources!
For a group of people who likes to give the impression they are all super geniuses (and by extension deserve X 100 billion a year in funding), I would expect at least one person could have done some capacity planning and figured out how big the Starbucks need to be for that location. How about some accountability? Fire the person who planned this coffee shop. His/her mistakes cost the country the hourly rate of each person in line * the time they waste standing around.
Not to interfere with your nascent flame-war or anything but "self-funding" is not inconsistent with "getting more taxpayer money". First, they may get larger appropriations while at the same time running side businesses. Second, even if their appropriation were cut to zero, any money they make on the side becomes "taxpayer money."
One of the most fundamental principles of our form of government is that no executive branch agency can spend money without Congressional approval, no matter where that money came from. The reasons for this go back to the English Civil War. Charles I attempted to rule without calling Parliament, but since the Magna Carta English kings did not have the power of taxation; the House of Commons did. So Charles attempted an end-run by exploiting a fee that had been traditionally levied on coastal towns to pay for maritime protection in time of war. Charles's attempt to use "Ship Money" as a revenue source independent of Parliament was one of the key events leading to the Civil War, and was familiar history to the framers of the US Constitution.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
2) You take the supervisor to the basement and put one in his ear. Also duh. God damn are we running an intelligence agency or a kindergarden?
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
A minute or two, actually.
Tap previous grounds into a knock-box, rinse portafilter, grind beans, tamp them down, draw espresso shots, steam milk, style a love heart in the froth.
That's just for a caffe latte. The slow pour-over filter coffee nerds rave about is an art form that takes a while...
Ummm.. Starbucks #1 is in the Pikes Place marketplace in Seattle Washington, not CIA HQ.... somebody got their wires crossed...
I started using the name 'Bob' at the local Starbucks because of the pronunciation issue, not to mention I am a wee bit paranoid.
Just because I am paranoid DOESN'T mean they aren't after me.
errr....umm...*whooosh* *whoosh* Is this thing on ?
then they have nothing to worry about!
So you're telling me that "security" people are self-important asshats? Who knew?
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
I've had lunch there, and it is pretty surreal how they have this normal mall food court in the middle of one of the most secure places on the planet.
But I guess everyone needs a slice from Shapiro pizza now and again.
Star Bucks
Any guest worker system is indistinguishable from indentured servitude.
Barista: Can I get your name?
Spy: I feel uncomfortable with this line of questioning
Barista: Sir, I just want to put your name on the cup so you know when you coffee is ready.
Spy: I don't know I think answering this question could compromise my cover.
Barista: Sir, I swear I just want to make sure you get the correct coffee.
Spy: I need to push this up the line. Make sure I can get clearance to give you my name
Barista: Never mind your coffee is ready. Here you go. Would that be cash or credit.
Spy: Credit here you go.
Barista: Thank you Mr. Smith have a nice day.
Really? odd. Every Starbucks I've been to uses the name on the cup, unless they can't read it.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
If they can't come up with a fake name to give to a person that makes coffee then I don't have a lot of confidence in their job performance.
Well, both heroin and cocaine are cheaper and purer than ever, so here's one government plan that seems to be working.
Hate to go back to the original topic, but, hey CIA guys, you can give any name you want! Although I have to admit, I sometimes forget which exotic-sounding name I give to clerks, causing them to call it several times before I remember that I'm Paco, Goober, or whoever.
-- sudon't
Air-ride Equipped