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Kim Jong Un Claims To Have Cured AIDS, Ebola and Cancer
jones_supa writes: North Korea has created a wonder drug which not only cures AIDS, but also eradicates Ebola and cancer — at least, according to the latest proclamation from the country's news agency. Their announcement says the miracle cure consists of ginseng grown from fertilizer and rare earth elements. The drug's website cites a medical study in Africa where the product was tested on HIV-positive patients. It records that every single participant in the trial noted an improvement, with 56% being completely cured and 44% noting a considerable improvement in their condition. Among other benefits, the North Korean scientists also revealed that the drug is capable of curing a number of cancers, but did not provide details of the medical trials which support this claim. It's also good to remember that the state has previously claimed that Kim Jong Il invented the hamburger.
This should be the theme of the next direct-to-video film
Gently reply
Unicorn blood is well know to stop a person from dying, no matter how sick or injured. Pretty convient that N. Korea just so happens to invent a miracle drug just three years after finding a unicorn.
The medicinal herb also cures diabetes and morbid obesity; just look at the chiselled energetic body of the leader!
You can get rid of all kinds of infectious diseases simply by starving your cities to the point where there aren't enough able-bodied people left to transmit the disease to each other.
And most cancer can be cured by lowering your country's life expectancy to under the age where those cancers start to form.
So look at the bright side, North Korea!
If I have to go to North Korea I think I'll take my chances without that drug. (That is assuming it works, And I don't think it's quite the right time for this broken clock to be right.)
Any insufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
I also cured AIDS, Ebola and Cancer. What are the chances?
Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum.
for the rest of the world
Actually being sold in NK. It's hard to believe they have said that and easy to picture a scam involving the three websites on the post. I give the guy no credibility, but if people continue dying after the miracle drug, how is he going to explain?
I wonder if his own propaganda department is trying to be insubordinate by making claims that are so fantastic and provably false. A claim like this is likely to be widely discredited within N. Korea, as everyone who dies of one of these diseases is proof against the claims. His PR people have to know that, so why make the claim in the first place? My suspicion is that they actually want The claims to be proven false, and for Kim Jong to be discredited. Active insubordination without having done anything they can, or will, be executed for.
I wish I had a good sig, but all the good ones are copyrighted
Here is how I would do it. First, load up several million thumb drives with movies and TV shows offering a view of life as it is lived today on the outside. Nothing American, just about how the other Koreans live in the free part of the country. The thumb drive is already established as an underground form of communication in NK, but up to now they are being smuggled a few at a time across the Chinese border.
Now drop them into North Korean cities from high-flying, undetectable B-2s. It won't take long for freedom to ring.
http://www.wired.com/2015/03/n...
At least put this story on idle or something. Some dictator claiming stupid shit is hardly new, and it's certainly not something anyone needs to concern themselves with.
I mean c'mon, most of the community know that the moron lie to his people all the time.
Eventually he won't be able to hide the truth when access to communication will be more and more easily available and his "realm" will eventually revolt and head straight into a civil war. But until then, he could blather he fucked the president dog to show dominance for all I care.
Elok
And 5 years after the treatment, not a single living HIV could be detected.
Ok, no other living cell could be detected either anymore, but hey!
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
He explodes when he turns 60?
But it would kinda explain his ... size. He's not overweight. Just full of it.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Kim Jong Un is the Hamburgler!
Unfortunately for him, they still haven't cured gout.
(..) the insanity that is North Korean science
There is no such thing as 'insane science'. There is just science, done properly, reproducible, with methods & findings published and verifiable, etc. And there is propaganda, where few (if any) of scientific methods' attributes are present.
Note that "in N. Korea, or elsewhere" isn't part of that equation. Science is done properly, or it's not. Where that's done, doesn't matter as long as geography isn't part of the subject matter.
Cup of tea and a NATO 7.62 for the lead rare earth part.
I see how you did that kim Jong Un, pretty slick, but Al Gore's got ya beat by inventing the internet,
... the cured the sick using acute lead poisoning of the multiple entry type.
Many people believe that carrot juice and fruit juice diets are a cure to cancer and other deadly illnesses.
Maybe he just spent a little too much time on the Internet!
And that is different than the US Congress declaring climate change doesn't exist?
You have AIDS? You know what the punishment is, right? WOW, I feel better now. Must have been the ginseng.
... just infect Kim with AIDS and Ebola, then cure him ... as for cancer, some additional radioactive contamination might do ... ... oh, right, they'll just spend it on their military instead ... after all, for what does Kim need a people?
I guess once they've proved it works, they'll be able to sell it to the whole world, finally taking care of their people's hunger problem
Believable
Well, it is someone believable. He must be doing something with his time, and he certainly isn't wasting time looking around for a competent barber.
Their announcement says the miracle cure consists of ginseng grown from fertilizer and rare earth elements.
They misspelled "bullet".
Don't waste your vote! Vote for whoever you want, unless you live in a swing state it won't matter anyways
You have to give North Korea credit. When the US government lies or distorts the truth it is never funny. When Russia, China, the UK, and all the rest of them (except that Iraqi Information Minister - that guy was 'the bomb') lie it is likewise tragic not comic. North Korea? Comedy gold! Those guys make up some of the funniest shit. Keep it coming DPRK.
.... now he should turn his attention to obesity.
Supreme Fearless Leader Mr. Big should be more careful who he parties with.
if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
Crystal meth is widely given out (especilly in the bad years) to starving people in North Korea, often enough as a curte-all. It helps keep the hunger pangs at bay if nothing else.
If video games influenced behavior the Pac Man generation would be eating pills and running away from their problems.
Unfortunately the drug delivery system explodes half way to the patient... :P :P :P
I do not fail; I succeed at finding out what does not work.
Not drinking that KoolAid!
Yep, cures everything; mafia, dirty cops, organized crime, cold storage blood money cash cows that kill presidents and peddle off their space programs dealing their way out of it, uranium contaminated well water, concealed murder statistics not counted against property value, fire hazards, gambling, aids, ebola, cancer, fiscal cliff's and even obesity. It's a miracle cure, but it ain't free...
It won't be discredited anymore than any of the other miracles of religion are. For this kind of stuff to be discredited you need journalists with cameras and travel options.
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While these claims are probably ridiculous and with no merit, don't underestimate the speed at which medical research can progress under a regime which doesn't have morals holding the researchers back...
The nazis made significant progress.
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Soon we'll hear how North Koreans can drive the cars they don't have on water without any external energy supply. Also, they'll produce, without any energy use, a form of air that's so nutritious that there will be no need for food thus traditional agriculture will be unnecessary.
I hate to give them any new ideas about productive research possibilities that might come from the curious US workers with garages and an advertising budget, but you never know.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. George Orwell
In part or in whole, it will even fix Cali's water shortage problems.
Too bad they can't create a miracle drug for crazy dictators.
Conspicuously, Kim Jong-un offers no claim on how his Snake Oil affects vascular diseases leading to stroke (Kim Il-sung's demise) or cardiac arrest (Kim Jong-il's killer). If North Koreans (and the world) are lucky, he won't find a cure for those ailments.
Have gnu, will travel.
They do seem to know the difference between the Rod of Asclepius and the Caduceus, so at least they have that over the Americans ;-)
No, not curing it...
-- "At Microsoft, quality is job 1.1" -- PC Magazine, Nov. 1994
Are you talking about Santos-Dumont? He didn't fly a heavier-than-air craft until 1906, nearly three years after the Wright Brothers. The only contender for beating the Wright Brothers has been Albert Whitehead, who may have flown in early 1902. However, photos of the feat allegedly did not turn out well, and no follow-up photos have ever shown up.
You can never go home again... but I guess you can shop there.
Congratulations. Can we write him in over Hilary & Jeb?
Well, why not? His dad once hit 11 holes-in-one in golf
I think Putin has lead a life that is a bit less sheltered than Kim Jong Un. While it is no secret the president on either pole (US/Russky) will sell weapons to just about anyone, I think they hold in common the same lack of concern about the ramifications of it. In fact I think the US has better planning for profits in the aftermath but the over all process seems to dig a bigger fiscal hole faster than they can fill it in. All things considered you do not know how right you are, but Kim has to have a supplier somewhere, that's just government business selling strong arm 'protections' and a lot of hot air.
One of my favorite lines in a movie which I think was in one of the Thin Man films was by William Powell sitting at a wrestling match was something like: you must have attended the rehearsal.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. George Orwell
I'm not so sure a lead injection into the skull qualifies as a cure, nor as an improvement in condition.
Try again, North Korea!
The Christian Right is Neither (Christian nor right). See: Matthew 23, Matthew 25, Ezekiel 16:48-50
I think you'll find his miracle cure more closely resembles a bullet.
"Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife
Read the small print... There must be pieces of red flannel in there too!
We're talking miracle cure here, "don worry 'bout it". Did I mention it can cure bad pizza indigestion dating all the way back to 1954?
The title is wrong: It seems that North Korea do not claim Kim Jong Un himself invented it.
This is a relevant point because propaganda previously presented Kim Jong Il as a scientist, a poet, an inventor, and whatever
president caused ebola.
Kin Shorty Yo Yo Pants can't be fixed. The boy not only slipped his anchor his brains obviously fell out his exit portal.
The hamburger, or a cure for AIDS can be done by anyone, but it will end up being the property of whoever has the most lawyers and lobbyists. So who's better off, us or them?
Why is Snark Required?
He cures them with a firing squad .... no less effective at eliminating people with the disease than a real cure but a little more final than you'd want.
Oops. You're right. I'm blaming it on a radio glitch. :)
You can never go home again... but I guess you can shop there.