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Linux Advocates Riot on MS Front Steps
An anonymous reader sent us a link to a startling article
where you can read the horrific account of
Linux Users Rioting Outside
Microsoft's Silicon Valley Headquarters. The article
shows graphic pictures of Linux Users being dragged off
by the police, as well as burning of MSN CDs. I thought
such violence was limited to Mighigan State basketball fans.
Let me see, what's todays date?
I thought so...
John Waalkes
jwaalkes@edge.net
Is this the immaturity our community has come down to?
I thought it was funny...but I have a sense of humor.
It was glorious! long live the revolution!
the thing i wonder is, why don't the linux bikers come to the puget sound area linux user groups?
Do they have their own, biker-only, LUG?
I was at work when the demonstration happened, i happened to notice the commotion in the reflection of that really dark(at night) building, the one that reminds everyone of the death star.
Let's take the fight to Redmond next!
Some of us gun-nuts run Linux you know...Ok, it's
Slackware, but that's just 'cos we're 'ard.
An' if you don't like it, the penguin gets his...
Johnny
aaaargh ...
I havn't had much sleep this night and didn't remember wich day we are today !! For 10 minutes I thought i've had a heart attack
Yes, we know that it is April 1.
And we are reminded of that by this pieced together thing full of geek and linux stereotypes.
"Death to Graphical User Interfaces!" ???
"anarchic backers of free living and free software"
The guy who wrote this is obviously an MS luber.
He is clueless as to what we are "fighting" for.
Who else thinks that the Userfriendly and Segfault legal problems were part of a big April fools day joke started by the two of them? The details they both posted seemed strange and now they shut down on April 1. Coincidence? I think not!
...thing by taking everyone elses life away. This is the lagest known mass sucicide...
:)
:)
Um, if they took other people's lives away, wouldn't that be murder instead?
Suicide is usually a voluntary sort of thing. Just ask Dr. Jack
Pretty funny though
John Waalkes
jwaalkes@edge.net
I have my doubts too. I mean anyone else would have been screaming bloody murder. Listing names, numbers (ahem), where they live...
:)
I hope we're right
John Waalkes
jwaalkes@edge.net
I hate april fools. Every year, a stream of stupidity from everybody you know and everything you read.
> Also, faking a MS lawsuit would be reason for
> MS to file an actual lawsuit.
Another piece of the puzzle falls into place: Iliad never mentioned the M word. Maybe he realized this while he was setting up the joke...
Looking forward to that DynaMouse... of course, it will probably be plug and pray.
yes! %-)
I have heard about this and was told it was true.
Can anyone verify this post?
Wow. It must suck to be you and have no sense of humor whatsoever. Some people really need to take things a tad less seriously. Let your hair down. Run around your house naked. Do weird things with food. Everything doesn't suck. The article actually had some funny stuff in it. Sure it was an obvious April Fools article, but at least it was fun to read. Woulda been a good Segfault story.
Some people never cease to amaze me. You need to get laid or something. You take things way too serious. Can you please not bash someone's attempt at having fun just because they didn't put the time and effort into it to make it broadcast quality? Geez... maybe we should all come over to your place and critique your work and your decor and your taste in furnishings and your girlfriend (I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here). Find something better to do. You missed the entire point of the article.
Lets leave MSU out of it, we are a good school!
Go STATE!
Microsoft's headquarters are in Washington, not Silicon Valley.
This is treason. Rack them.
Not bad, pretty damn funny.m l
check out http://www.motorcycle.com/mo/mcdaily99/day0401.ht
Microsoft/Harley merger!
Fight the Power!
I was falling for it up untill the comment about the Greatfull Dead fans where someone said at least the hippies stay mellow untill you crack 'em on the head with a nightstick.
That was just too much!
i half believed it until i read the article. good one though.
You gotta love those faked pics... they are really something to admire. But, exactly how much of today's /. is bogus? Is Linus really moving to Russia?
-fatty
This was great (as was the one about Linus moving to Russia)! I loved the cosmic drama of the NRA, vengeful bikers, and sleep-deprived caffeine-high Linux fans colliding in an ill-fated melee of chaos and tragedy! The part at the end about the radio was great too!
--Art Tatum posting as AC away from home
Payback time sounds good to me.
His .45 has an embedded AMD chip that runs Linux.
Please! Please! I *have* to go to work now, right now! This one kept me smiling 'til the "Linux? No shit! I run RedHat on my Linux box" .. and then I just lost it. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe and tears streamed down my face. It was all I could do to avoid guffawing like a loonie -- my wife's still asleep in the next room. This article really, really made my day. :-) Way to go!
I would just like to say that I support the Linux demonstrators. It's about time a stand was taken against Microsoft. Good Job Guys!!!!!! Although I don't agree with the violence, but extreme situations require extreme actions...
Hahaha.... oh that was great. And for a microsecond, it held my attention and curiousity as to whether it was real or not.
APRIL FOOLS...
I loved the pictures of the gasmasks. That was great.
That was my favorite part too. The only leaks these guys (well, the ones I know anyways) worry about involves oil, not memory :)
Besides, they're all recuperating from Daytona.
And I'm still waiting for them to bring the pictures into work...
John Waalkes
jwaalkes@edge.net
It was very nicely done. Rob musta stayed up all night.
John Waalkes
jwaalkes@edge.net
In an announcement that has stunned the computer industry, Ken Thompson,
) )P("|"+(*u/4)%2);
... templates. All to no avail. So we now have compilers that
Dennis Ritchie and Brian Kernighan admitted that the Unix operating
system and C programming language created by them is an elaborate prank
kept alive for over 20 years. Speaking at the recent UnixWorld Software
Development Forum, Thompson revealed the following:
"In 1969, AT&T had just terminated their work with the GE/Honeywell/AT&T
Multics project. Brian and I had started work with an early release of
Pascal from Professor Niklaus Wirth's ETH labs in Switzerland and we
were impressed with its elegant simplicity and power. Dennis had just
finished reading 'Bored of the Rings', a National Lampoon parody of the
Tolkien's 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy. As a lark, we decided to do
parodies of the Multics environment and Pascal. Dennis and I were
responsible for the operating environment. We looked at Multics and
designed the new OS to be as complex and cryptic as possible to maximize
casual users' frustration levels, calling it Unix as a parody of
Multics, as well as other more risque allusions. We sold the terse
command language to novitiates by telling them that it saved them
typing.
Then Dennis and Brian worked on a warped version of Pascal, called 'A'.
'A' looked a lot like Pascal, but elevated the notion of the direct
memory address (which Wirth had banished) to the central concept of the
language. This was Dennis's contribution, and he in fact coined the term
"pointer" as an innocuous sounding name for a truly malevolent
construct.
Brian must be credited with the idea of having absolutely no standard
I/O specification: this ensured that at least 50% of the typical
commercial program would have to be re-coded when changing hardware
platforms. Brian was also responsible for pitching this lack of I/O as a
feature: it allowed us to describe the language as "truly portable".
When we found others were actually creating real programs with A, we
removed compulsory type-checking on function arguments. Later, we added
a notion we called "casting": this allowed the programmer to treat an
integer as though it were a 50kb user-defined structure. When we found
that some programmers were simply not using pointers, we eliminated the
ability to pass structures to functions, enforcing their use in even the
Simplest applications. We sold this, and many other features, as
enhancements to the efficiency of the language. In this way, our prank
evolved into B, BCPL, and finally C. We stopped when we got a clean
compile on the following syntax:
for (;P("\n"),R-;P("|"))for(e=3DC;e-;P("_"+(*u++/8)%2
At one time, we joked about selling this to the Soviets to set their
computer science progress back 20 or more years.
Unfortunately, AT&T and other US corporations actually began using Unix
and C. We decided we'd better keep mum, assuming it was just a passing
phase. In fact, it's taken US companies over 20 years to develop enough
expertise to generate useful applications using this 1960's
technological parody. We are impressed with the tenacity of the general
Unix and C programmer. In fact, Brian, Dennis and I have never ourselves
attempted to write a commercial application in this environment.
We feel really guilty about the chaos, confusion and truly awesome
programming projects that have resulted from our silly prank so long
ago."
Dennis Ritchie said: "What really tore it (just when ADA was catching
on), was that Bjarne Stroustrup caught onto our joke. He extended it to
further parody, Smalltalk. Like us, he was caught by surprise when
Nobody laughed. So he added multiple inheritance, virtual base classes,
and later
can compile 100,000 lines per second, but need to process header files
for 25 minutes before they get to the meat of "Hello, World".
Major Unix and C vendors and customers, including AT&T, Microsoft,
Hewlett-Packard, GTE, NCR, and DEC have refused comment at this time.
Borland International, a leading vendor of object-oriented tools,
including the popular Turbo Pascal and Borland C++, stated they had
suspected this for a couple of years. In fact, the notoriously late
Quattro Pro for Windows was originally written in C++. Philippe Kahn
said: "After two and a half years programming, and massive programmer
burn-outs, we re-coded the whole thing in Turbo Pascal in three months.
I think it's fair to say that Turbo Pascal saved our bacon". Another
Borland spokesman said that they would continue to enhance their Pascal
products and halt further efforts to develop C/C++.
Professor Wirth of the ETH institute and father of the Pascal, Modula 2
and Oberon structured languages, cryptically said "P.T. Barnum was
right." He had no further comments.
just ignore me. If this message works right, moderator undo is functioning. In other words, if a moderator posts a comment, all their activity as a moderator is *whoosh* undone.
Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda
Pants are Optional
Pants are still optional, but recommended for you.
just ignore me. If this message works right, moderator undo is functioning. In other words, if a moderator posts a comment, all their activity as a moderator is *whoosh* undone. Take 2
Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda
Pants are Optional
Pants are still optional, but recommended for you.
Take 4
Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda
Pants are Optional
Pants are still optional, but recommended for you.
Take 666
Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda
Pants are Optional
Pants are still optional, but recommended for you.
I think so...
Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda
Pants are Optional
Pants are still optional, but recommended for you.
Posted by linuxincompetent:
We are allegedly some of the smarter people on this planet(by the dubious achievement of being able to plug in cords into computer and type...and careing about what OS we use ) ,
so why should they think we are that gullible...
The pictures needed much work
Posted by sideb0ard:
'sheeeit, Linux? I run Red Hat on my linux box"
that cracks me up, some mean-ass biker fiend from Hell going home and doin some open source codin'!
I haven't seen the details yet, but if it was a joke, I fell for it, hook and sinker.
though I don't think it's funny. not sure if I'd be able to make a joke about it when my domain and hobby get threatened.
Assorted stuff I do sometimes: Lemuria.org
I sometimes do feel the urge to go rioting at MS HQ.
That would certainly be a good joke if it was. Course, I guess a lot of people already thought it was a hoax. Now, coincidentially Segfault, Userfriendly, AND BeDope all go down on the same day... April 1st?
Oh come on now.. just because you use Linux doesn't mean you aren't allowed to have a sense of humor.
Damn, where are my molitov's...
You set 'em up... then you knock 'em down...
All good pranks have a good set up.
-Virgil
--
The Future: Some assembly required; batteries not included.
It's a poor attempt at an April Fool's...
They took a bunch of riot footage from something like CNN and edited in the "Linuxhead" touches to it- worse, they did a sloppy job of it, as it looked edited in with something like GIMP or Photoshop.
Don't waste your time on this one.
I am not merely a "consumer" or a "taxpayer". I am a Citizen of the State of Texas
This is so funny.....
Good one guys.... Imagine if zdnet or cnn picks up on this??
I'll pass this on to some of my non-slashdot reading friends and see what their reactions are...
Do not read this
If you live in NY:
On my way to work today, I heard on the radio (Z100) that there would be a sneek prevue of Star wars: Phantom Menace. (they said to check your local theaters) I got excited for minute but then I looked at my pager I remembered it's April 1st....
Do not read this
Oh, come on guys. You can do better than that.
Usually I get up at 7:00 PST and just jump to my comp half asleep. I couldnt beleive my eyes when I read this thing. :-)
I was like...wtf!
Now I am awake.
The coolest part was
" This dude, the meanest, most evil-looking dude I ever saw in my life looks at me and says
'sheeeit, Linux? I run Red Hat on my linux box" and nods to the dude next to him. Turns out that the chief enforcer for the gang had met Linus
Torvalds at Sturgis way back years ago. Linus turned him on to Red Hat, and he's been writing GNU software ever since.""
I hope it is all a big April Fool's joke...of course, they have been building up to it for too long for it to be a really funny April fools' joke
"Dogs and cats, living together...it's mass hysteria!"
oh gawd lordddy..
..
can you imagine if one the editors for zdnet or cnet or some other online news guru thingy picked up this, as well as the other april fools' article
quite an elaborate joke
Linus to leave for Russia..
shutting down userfriendly
killing of be dope and
segfault.. though that was a few days ago.
rioting in seattle (nice graphics by the way =))
then having Metalabs tag along this one
MetaLab Presents
April, 1999
NOTICE: Due to Linus Torvald's imminent departure from
the US and the upcoming release of Windows 2000, we
will begin systematically deleting our entire Linux archive
over the next week and replace it with a new mirror of
www.download.com. Download all the free software you
can now before it's all gone!
hahahaha real cute Rob.. did you orchestrate this whole elaborate prank.. cuz DAMNNNNNNN
ahh well, if we can't get everyone to dress in monkey costumes, I suppose this is the next best thing..
Geeks have a style babyyyyy.. style.. that's what it's all about..
LOL
me thinks me should avoid slashdot on Apr 1st NEXT year..
---
/me always the paranoid
Oh.. In othernews...
Redhat software would be hiring ERS as a replacement for it's current president. This was followed by a shocking statement yesterday by the software mini-giant about the removal of all GNU software from their premeier product.
The new licence would be BSD and more than 75% of the kernel contriubtors have agreed to let their piece of the kernel be changed to this new liecence. (All these kernel contributors were given mini-jobs at RH and given a status similar to Rastaman). The rest of the kernel would be filled in by Alan Cox, who in other news stated he might rename this new kernel Counix.
So is it going to be BSD Counix ?
PS: In othernews, 1000 maintiners of Debian GNU/Linux were found dead after a police raid on thier eastern farm hideaway. It seems like they did the logical thing by taking everyone elses life away. This is the lagest known mass sucicide attemempt in recorded history. RMS was not around to comment on this. Perenes is believed to be dead.
--
settle down beavis, it is a joke.
Have you seen Ironstayn vs Supergovernment yet?
I feel stupid now. I didn't fall for the riot stuff, it was obviously meant to be funny, but I think I fell for the User friendly, Segfault stuff. Either this is a really bad joke, or they've been building this joke for a while now! Me thinks I know why they never named Microsoft, they just implied it!
Also would explain why there is not a story up yet.
Alas, the poor souls of the Linux/BSD/occasional MS advocate have been duped! Our trust betrayed, our hearts broken and trampled. Oh the tradegy of it all! May we never trust again.
Something tells me I should go get some coffee...
Argv... I would feel so dumb if the userfriendly and segfault were just jokes.
--MD--
--MD--
Because they (rioters) expected that MS will make some sort of statement like: "MSWindows is an excellent OS, far superior and user-friendly than Linux", and since it will be the Folls day, no one would believe MS.
That's just my hypothesis.
AtW,
http://www.investigatio.com
alexc
Join Majestic-12 Distributed Search Engine
If only the man hadn't made them take segfault down
That's one of the funnier April Fools' jokes I've seen in a long time, excellent piece of work!
HAHAHA!
This article is an excellent piece of work!
I especially like the part about the radio at the end. Toilet paper square... never thought about that. I suppose it could work...
Nice pictures, too.
this is a fscking joke.... a phoney..... a gig.... a made up contrived story..... i mean, its RATHER obvious that they just tweaked w/ images to get it, and that the story is only meant as recreation and fun.....
Mtn Dewd
My little sad piece of the internet: www.mtndewd
and this with Segfault and UF being shutdown all of a sudden.
:)
Methinks an attempt at a April fools joke might be going on here
Nice try Rob, Illiad and Scott
Martin Brooks / Slayer99 #linux / UIN 2178117
That Michigan State comment hurt. Being attacked in my "home" - Slashdot. Oh well, the idiots that were out doing that crap deserve what they get. Hey I was all boozed up after we lost and a 1/4 mile from burning cars... I personally thought it was funner to flip on my Sega Dreamcast and play a little Sega Rally2, not ALL of us are morons.
www.jackasscritics.com
Is it coincidence that UserFriendly is down?
Is there _really_ an injuction againgst Illiad, or is that an Fool on us, too.
I'm hoping... because I miss DustPuppy.
(http://www.userfriendly.org/)
Believe me that riot is no April joke. I did a long travel from Germany just to participate in the riot.
I am really astonished by the incredible violance applied by US police against peaceful rioters.
While I was heavily beaten by some heavily armed men - will post detailed GIFs of my bruises later - I am rather sure that I spotted Bill G. observing us with a happy and, frankly, frightening satiesfied grin. Friends of mine reported that he was shouting "Beat 'em! Beat 'em hard!" all the time.
Uh huh.
really.
: )
-- "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert E.
I liked the story, but wouldn't it have been much scarier to have had a mock Microsoft Linux distibution article.. That'd scare a few.
--- "If a man speaks in a forest, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?"
ROTFL
Yeah.. I noticed some wonderful hand craft of adobe or gimp in there.. Like the guy running w/ a linux poster I think was from Rodney King's riot..
I ate my tag line.
-=Ellis (D)25=-
Ah, April 1st, gotta love it. Too bad whoever did this was trying way to hard to be The Onion.
Say, I wonder if The Onion will post REAL news on its site today? Wouldn't that be a laugh!
-B
If you look very closely the picture of the guys pushing the dumpster into the fire is from the good 'ol street riots at Purdue University on March 29th, 1999.
If your doubting, compare with this gallery.
It's probably not a joke. It just seems like shutting down the sites would be a little far to go. Also, faking a MS lawsuit would be reason for MS to file an actual lawsuit. I just hope their lawyers can argue freedom of speech fast enough, so I can read segfault and UF again.
#define F(x) int main(){printf(#x,10,#x);}
F(#define F(x) int main(){printf(#x,10,#x);}%cF(%s))
More Realistic?? Who Cares!!??
:-)
"The even put a stuffed penguin in my chair..."
"Sheeeit, Linux!"
I haven't laughed that good at April Fools since I was a kid.
Vlad Drac
Awww c'mon, you've gotta come up with something better than that... :) I looked at the page but wasn't even fooled for a second.
Pretend there is some witty statement here.
have a look at :-)
http://lwn.net/daily
were you?
Can't anyone coin something more realistic before the day is up?
Is anything actually a real story today? I loved the rioting at Microsoft! Very nice.
where is Gandi when we need him?
agents of M$ have infiltrated the upper
command of Linux!
they provoked this attack to bring down
Linux!
trust noone in any user group
break up into 'cells', decentralize your
command structure!
watch your backs people, Willie has eyes everywhere!
and remember, this day only comes one a year
so enjoy!
Rioter number 36. Apparently.
ahahah :) :)
that rocks
'tis one of the funniest things I've seen for a long time, the only thing missing from those pics was a battering ram
cyas
Scott has been talking about the legal problems at Segfault for several weeks. If it weren't 4/1, I would have no reason to doubt that the legal letters to Scott and Illiad are for real.
No sig.
"'sheeeit, Linux? I run Red Hat on my linux box"
Well done, at least worthy of the Onion.
+&x
Cops always seem to thing they are so special. Beating up on (basically) helpless geeks, just because they start breaking a few windows. Stories like this always make my blood boil and ache for the days when cops were good and nice.
At least linux is catching on in the biker community.
+&x
Why did they pick today to riot ?
Surely they know that most people
will think that news of this will
be April fools ?
I hope to hell that that is an April-1 joke and Iliad will be back tomorrow. If not, who killed cock robin?
Mielipiteet omiani - Opinions personal, facts suspect.
Rob, As mush as I respect your great efforts, you are statying up way to late. YOu spelled michigan wrong!! Go to sleep.
Ok, I too think that the whole riot nonsense that took place on MSU's campus was dumb. But heck, you had to be stupid to think that nothing was going to happen. The weekend prior there was a riot because State made it to the final four. Even so I am not a NT boot licker and I still don't like the comment about State. I feel MSU is a good school. And I not only support State, I am a student. :)