Slashdot Mirror
Hope for the Valley's Single Men
Anonymous Coward writes "ZDNN is running an article about how a good geek is hard to find. " The American Singles group is holding its annual convention in the Valley, because of the sheer amount of good men that are availible. Dear Lord.
In an article on Yahoo! the President of American Singles (the group converging on Silicon Valley) says something like, "There are a lot of single men there with a lot of money and no one to spend it on."
I think it is pretty clear what kind of woman they are targetting with language like that.
My search is over and I all to slashdot. :)
um, i said every great once in a while for a second i ponder the idea. and the reason i wouldn't is because i couldn't respect myself.
try reading it again.
Of course, I'm not a geek guy, so I suppose I can't really speak for them, but I know that's what I want out of a boyfriend.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered. -- G.K. Chesterton
I doubt internal dating services would do that much good.
They can't guarantee you a spouse.
Is that what people want anyway, though it often comes
across as the focus of many so called "dating services",
whatever the media.
Things tend to divide between thinly disguised prostitution
and "try to get people married" (which may in some cases
be much the same as the former.)
Right, so I'm a jerk because I hang my head and don't talk to people and avoid social situations in which I feel uncomfortable. Sorry, I'm not the bad guy here.
--
Kyle R. Rose, MIT LCS
[ home ]
It may be true that a geek man will tend to get along best with a geek girl.
But that doesn't matter. Why? Because the geek men outnumber the geek girls by at least 5:1, and probably more like 10:1. Which means that at least 80% of the geek guys are going to have to "settle" for someone other than a geek girl (at least in the sense that you mean it here).
This isn't necessarily a bad thing, mind you. One needn't be totally into something to appreciate and support someone else's interest in it.
There are some days that I wish my Significant Other (tm) shared my interest in computers. But given all her other wonderful qualities, I think I can live without it.
--
Use 'slashdot stuff' in the subject line in any email you send me if you want to get past the spam filter.
If there was less straight men, it would help me too. However, these guys aren't dating in the first place so their removal is a non-event. It doesn't help the rest of us, since they really aren't affecting the ratio for the rest of us.
What about the guy who now is trying to force himself gay. He is going to be confused for a long time at least. He may lose opportunities with women thinking he is gay. That is a lot of damage. Also, he is going to be hurting the rest of us by promoting the dateless geek == gay stereotype.
It seems like gays are profiteering off the stereotype. There are plenty of psychologists who say that extended datelessness which many of the geeks here have admitted to means that you are gay. That is beyond any stereotype. There has to be something more to this, even if an individual psychologist doesn't realize it.
While you are right, my point is if a spouse is going to be a perk, then you need more than an internal dating service. They can't guarantee you a spouse without having a concubine ready for you.
That's why I require the company of an equal. Just some girl who knows a little about computers isn't going to cut it.
I've looked everywhere, and I can't find them. I know they exist, I knew them in high school. And I constantly talk to women and gauge their intelligence, and usually just blow them off when they fail. Try it sometime. Look for a woman who has even some understanding of algebra, geometry, or Newtonian mechanics. Not even knowledge specific to any field. Just basic math and physics. You'll have a hard time. I don't know where they are all hiding.
You'll do best in a book store or a library. Or, somewhere moderately wealthy (upper middle class) people are hanging out. It seems that the intelligence of females is much more proportional to the wealth of their families than is the case with males.
alt.seduction.fast (just don't feel the trolls) NNTP of course
If they get away from their monitors on weekends they aren't geeks. I mean that's pretty much the litmus test for geek-positive, which do you value more, your relationships with human beings or your relationships with progammable digital machinery?
That's why we become geeks, we're total and complete social failures. OK, maybe the rest of you aren't but I know I am. I write good code, though.
Trust me on this. if you get known for being the "geek" or "computer whiz" around the workplace, beautiful women will ask you for all sorts of computer help...
...but that's it. Don't expect dates or anything like that. Just expect to get used for what you know, nothing else.
We should quit whining about this and do something. I know there aren't enough women to go around and what's worse we don't get out enough to meet them. Not only that, but I know a lot of us want to meet geek girls, we don't necessarily want to throw ourselves into the meat market of normal clubs. Well people, the geek girls probably want to meet geek guys as well.
So what SHOULD we do? I propose we find a spot to claim for geeks in the Bay Area...a geek hangout if you will. I was thinking somewhere in San Jose or Palo Alto. I'd *LOVE* to hear some ideas.
As a geek girl, who has and is dating a geek man, I have but to as what do they think they have to offer the attractive geek man?
Sure they may have looks - maybe - and they may be women, perhaps for some lonely man that may be enough, but what is a geek man looking for?
And what about the language barrier, she speaks Martha Stewart, he speaks in C, C++, Perl, VB, and Java.
I know exactly what a geek man wants because as I geek girl I want the same thing.
A bit of understanding when he works 18 hours straight on debugging on little bit of code, and is at his wits end. He smells of sweat, and is still in the same clothes he put on a couple of days ago. He is wrestling with Gollith, he is strong, he does not have time for that little cocktail party, or to anwer whether or not mustard yellow would be a nice color for the bathroom. He wants to know that you understand, and care about him, and you think he is intellegent even if he can't find the logical error in that nasty bit of code.
What happens if the cute couple's aniversary comes in the same week that a project is due. The project is more important - a non geek woman may not understand that.
Perhaps these girls should prep themselves with a few programming classes, I recomend C.
Men find C very sexy.
C is just so versitile, with a bit of training in C, you can figure out Perl and C++, and once you have c++, you can figure out java with ease, and perhaps then they can understand a bit more of what the geek man is saying.
He's so cute when he's implementing a hash table!
He's so sexy when he uses a stack, just look at that smile on his face when he pops and item off of the stack, he's like a kid in a candy store!
I digress.
Just my opinion, but after a long, and I mean long day, don't you think the geek man would like a girlfriend who understands what her boyfriend is saying, instead of a girlfriend who stare blankly and then proceeds to ask if she should rag roll the living room walls.
Perhaps not all geek men want a geek girl, but I am sure almost every geek man would prefer an intellegent woman, who understand computers and is not afraid of them, or worse yet ignorant of them.
It is also very important the prospective mate understand that work is involved, and sometimes to leave work is to leave a train of thought behind at risk of losing it. A geek man may not be around much, but not to worry, the computer is not your competition, you could never compete with the computer.
I found myself a geek man, and although he's a network guy, and I am a programmer, we speak the same language.
My last two jobs have been in cities which are known, or at least said, to have more single women than men by nontrivial margins. Now, in my geeky jobs, this has never been apparent to me, basically because geeks just don't tend to frequent the kind of places where this imbalance would be apparent. I've spent a few years working in these two cities, and remained steadfastly single throughout, not through intention, but just because that's how it's turned out. And so have a lot of other geeks I know. Admittedly, in some cases, some strong-willed and generally determined woman has done the modern equivalent of bopping them over the head and dragging them back to her cave and they've both ended up happy with the end results, but I rather think that this kind of thing is something that geeks hope to happen across, rather than specifically going out on the razz to look for. Not to mention the fact that quite a few of us wouldn't know how to go out on the razz, and don't care either.
I guess what I'm saying is, don't bother going to pickup joints or specific Places Where Singles Go looking for geeks because on the whole, you won't find them there. After all, why would you want to waste time in some singles bar when there's hacking to be done? This is probably a fault of the geek personality, but elementary human mating rituals can be as bewildering to your average geek as sendmail.cf is to a non-geek - often it's just not apparent where to start.
The best bet if you really want to grab a geek is to be one yourself. Either that or become one, but I think it might be a bit of a culture shock...
(Besides, here's a little secret that the article's author missed. We aren't all that rich - don't go looking around universities for rich geeks, 'cuz you won't find any)
Mike
> And being that I'm a geekgrrl, I imagine it wouldn't be *too* hard.
Perhaps I'm operating under a misguided perception here, but my impression is that there are an awful lot more male suitors for every female. Of course that could because I'm in computers on a college campus. Dunno.
What do the rest of you think? Do you ever feel like you're one of hundreds of guys competing for the same prize?
almost 26 here, and not up to girlfriend #1 yet... had a long-distance relationship with a very bright though very disturbed geek girl a few years ago, though that ended badly... over the past few years I just haven't bothered... when I busy myself with other things, it doesn't matter... celibacy is very liberating, as it allows you to eliminate all the overhead to do with the courtship/reproduction legacy crud. having said that, if you want to find women who are impressed by computer skills, start hanging around where there are postgraduate liberal-arts students. help them with their PowerBooks or printing from the network, and (as long as your personal hygiene doesn't stink) you've got an opportunity... just make sure to not come on too strongly and try to talk about something they can relate to.
"A hard man is good to find"
I'm going to Silicon Valley to find me some SLUTZ!
Hey, I'm a geek, who goes dancing every weekend, and still nothing. While most geeks do spend a bit too much time not socializing, generally it takes most women till they get a bit older till they realize that geeks are accually a good catch. But a geek in his early 20s really doesn't have a chance.
re: move to university town
:)
Yeah, that could work too.
I wonder when the women are finally going to get it. I am glad that somewhere the women are feeling the negative results of what they cause to men on themselves.
Single: 1 Geek (not really, sorry honey!)
Languages: ASP, HTML,VB, PERL....
Enjoys:
-long walks ont he beach
-Horse back riding
-Notepad
-WinVI
-Installing Hardware (ooohhhh it gets me sweaty!)
Seaking a nice little geek girl to geek with....
NOTE: JUST KIDDING (don't get any funny ideas...)
;-)
"Y'all come back Y'a Hear!?!?"
"Y'all come back Y'a Hear!?!?"
Xian
Since when are we hard to find? Troll /. for three seconds and you have a truckload. I think they've picked on the 'Valley' geek simply because of $. The great american motivator, right? Any woman can live with a geek if he's loaded. And the valley is loaded with stock-option havin', IPO cash laden geeks these days. It's a paradise of $ first, and geekiness second.
.sig: Now legally binding!
I just moved from NJ to Santa Clara ( for those of you who aren't familiar with the area it's about 15 min away from Palo Alto) and I couldn't belive just how few women there are in this area. I used to laugh at people who imported their wife/girlfriend from some mail order bride catalogue but now I see that those guys are geniuses. There was another articale that said there were 5 men for every women in silicon valley. Oh well you have to find something to spend your $$$ on beside computers right ?
Vidi, vici, veni. (I saw, I conquered, I came)
Ask any girl you know, at random. "If Bill Gates asked for your hand in marriage, what would you say?"
Chances are pretty good that she'd think about it for a little while.
Girls are like that. They've been trained to crave security, and money is part of that equation.
But to be completely fair, suppose someone offers you 1.0e9 dollars to marry you. I imagine it would inspire most of us to at least think about.
--
--
#include <malloc.h>
free(your.mind);
This sort of thing is as much of an art as hacking.
The article says last year they went to Alaska, and made the mistake of coming during hunting season when the men were nowhere to be found. Are there any Linux conferences in the valley we should warn them about?
Communication is only possible between equals
"The concept of being alone terrifies me. "
You're always alone. Even if you find a woman, chances are there'll be times when you wake up at night, and wonder what this stranger is doing beside you, and whether you really know them. And ultimately, you're always alone.
They obviously decided this without researching their destination; did we not see on these very pages a while ago that the reason all these nerds were single is that they're too busy making money and doing hackerish things?
"Wanna go to Colonel Sanders?"
"Mmmmm... kernel..."
Apparently prostitution is the growth industry in the Valley. That and cubicle resellers.
depends on the drugs...
Two points:
- Women like gay guys; they're considered to make good company, much more so than testosterone-pumped jock types.
- If a woman likes a "gay" guy enough, she might try to convert him...
If the phenomenon you posit of geeks deciding to be gay is real, you can expect a lot of women tapping into the resultant rich lode of latent hetero guys.I don't mean that I want to find another over-educated computer wiz - I just want to meet someone who is as driven, creative, and good looking as so many of my male friends, if you get my drift.
I certainly am flattered to be the target of these kinds of events, but I'm not interested in someone who is looking for a wealthy mamma's-boy who is never home and is more knowledgable about his kernel rev than his partner's hopes and dreams.
Joseph R. Kiniry
http://kind.ucd.ie/~kiniry/
Lecturer
UCD School of Computer Science and Informatics
Okay, I know that others have probably figured this out before, but I feel proud for having come up with it from your posting:
Geeks not reproducing is really bad for the human race. The thought of our future world being dominated by blue-collar workers, businessmen, and lawyers because the geeks don't have children is really disturbing. All those years of evolution to bring out intelligence in man will be wasted because intelligence isn't as attractive as confidence (which have an anti-correlation, if anything).
--
Kyle R. Rose, MIT LCS
[ home ]
What's this about women looking for nerdy guys? I need a geeky woman who won't mind sleeping in the bathtub because the master bedroom is a dream computer lab and the microwave runs linux. Ahh.. the joys of being single :-)
There is no reasonable defense against an idiot with an agenda
:wq
The article made specific mention of the
net worth of the men targeted. Besides that,
where else on Earth is better suited for
'gold-digging'. Legions of sex-starved,
socially inhibited men with padded wallets.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't honestly
think every geek with a significant other is
the victim of a gold-dig attack! Brains are
'sexy', and there are definitly a large number
physically attractive geeks (both M + F).
However, this stunt stinks like a dorm room
after an all male four day Quake-fest.
.sig: Now legally binding!
You are making the mistake of throwing all geeks into the same pot.
There are many intelligent men/women out there who can be considered just as "geeky" as computer nerds. They may just be in other fields.
And they will still understand your dedication to work, while opening you up to other aspects of their lives.
I think people are making a mistake if they think programmers are the only partners that could possibly understand their way of lives.
Early 20s? The world's still your oyster. Spare a thought for us lost souls in our late 20s, having lived for years with the assumption of solitude. There's still time for you, if you choose it.
I hope that American Singles has contracted a studio to film this momentous event. This could make an excellent nature-style documentary.
Don't limit yourself when looking for a life-long partner. The last thing you want to do is eliminate someone because they don't fit a preconcieved image.
If you must have a geek, at least don't restrict yourself to Computer Geeks - alternative forms of geek are just as desirable.
While a Garden Geek may not be impressed when she hears of your clever algorithm, she will understand where you are coming from. It is more important she be able and willing to see your point of view than grok code.
I myself have a wife who's a Garden Geek, Classical Guitar Geek and Art Geek all at the same time. I love her to pieces not because she's a geek, but because she understands. Her being a geek just gave her a headstart.
When he told her who he was, should have told her, I am Bill Gates, multi-millionaire, soon to be multi-billionaire. It might have worked.
Injured geek fights back against Mattel!
Speaking of generalizations, not everyone who lives in the valley has huge stock options. Most people I know make ok money, but have to work 80+ hours per week, don't have health insurance, and pay to much for gas and housing. I paid $1.80 a gallon this morning for gas (ouch), and I've lived in a motel for the past three months, because it's cheaper for me to pay for a motel 2 weeks per month (that I'm there) than it is to rent an apartment!
... it should be called "A hard geek is good to find." ;-)
Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once... the bitch.
women....Two of them were Ms. Teen New Jersey, and four of them were models. When I stopped doing the theatre thing and started focusing on my true love--computers&science--the prospects started getting slim. Not that these girls that I dated in high school were non-geeks/dumb. One of them is studying medicine at harvard--although I wouldn't really say we dated, just went out on a 'date' 8). I have tried dating non-geek women, but they eventually turn out to be boring--more appropriately, we do not have anything in common. So, to find a woman looking for a Geek with $$$--which I am one of--who is good looking ;)--who has no brains, would be just sport. Besides that, there are ABSOLUTELY NO places to find women. Oh, yea, you can meet bar flies at a bar--disclaimer: sometimes good people do go to bars--and you sure can find lots of unintelligible foreigners who are at least 5 years older than you in school--specifically CS grad school, and who look like they'd been bopped up side the head by a bag of M1 Abrams Tanks at oblique angles. And then there's always church....no, that's too obvious..... So, lonely guys and girls, I have but one thing to say--life sucks, and no-one is guaranteed to find a 'soul mate' or the one for them.
If you want to find a 'mate' you either have to settle for less, or find a larger marketplace.
Ho, well, enough rambling
Matt Zeits
http://zeits.net/matt
it mean you funny, and it also mean no text
Yes, I'm single too and fixing to graduate from an excellent CS school. For some reason women avoid us like the plague when they find out we deal with computers? Do they not understand that we're not looking for someone who is as interested in computers as us, but instead someone with an IQ above temperature setting on the AC unit? I'm sorry, the only people I've ever been impressed with are the intelligent ones. Just remember, once the looks fade you've got to actually carry on a conversation.
I spotted one this summer in class, but she was already taken. For any geek girls out there who want to know how to make a geek guy fall in love with you, here are the instructions:
1) Make better grades than him on differential equations tests.
2) Manage to work into casual conversation the following phrase: 'I love graph paper'.
That's all it takes.
Absolutely. On the other hand, I see the other situation too. The most attractive people are always surrounded by curtisans, whichever gender they might be...
For the "How much do you make?" line crowd: (And yes, those were among the first words out of the mouths of several women I've met/dated) I prefer to actually buy them a drink when asked to. It's a little concoction called a "Chicken Fart". For those that've never seen one, it's a savory blend of vodka, vinegar, paprika, and a raw egg.
The look on their faces NEVER gets old.
Apparently, there's an overabundance of women in linguistics. Women are raised believing that they are capable at language and incapable at math. When you get to formal linguistics, the distinction starts to blur. Larry Wall's background is in linguistics, and I consider it a geek field. My guess is that many of the women who have the mental aptitude that would make them well suited to studying computer science go into linguistics again. Otherwise, check out library science.
Regarding correlation between intelligence and wealth: rich guys tend to study (in increasing order of brains required) business, law, or medicine. Geek fields (math, CS, engineering, science, linguistics) carry a low social status, and most rich guys wouldn't stoop to that level (major exception: pre-med science majors). Women aren't expected to impress men with their ability to make money, so more women chose less lucrative fields (literature, art, sociology, anthropology, linguistics) because they're genuinely interested in the subject matter. Other women are motivated to demonstrate that they are capable of making it in the high-pay high-prestige fields (business, law, medicine). Fewer women are motivated to show that they can handle the low-prestige fields (CS, engineering), which is one of the reasons there's a shortage of geek women.
I am deeply disturbed that many of you guys/gals have stated the opinion that women who want to date geeks are gold-diggers!! I am a non-geek girl who thinks geeks are so sexy!! Ever since I could remember I have thought that the smartest guy in the class was adorable. Intelligence=sexy!! Also, the fact that they don't have to be "cool" is so masculine(plus many of them understand my fascination with sci-fi/fantasy!) I am sick of society telling me that "geeks" are unattractive thus should be avoided like the plague and that people like me should ONLY date non-geeks. So all you 'computer geeks please don't change -- there are girls out there but who are not gold-diggers who think you guys are simply irresistible.
Unfortunately, she works long hours more often than I do.
Oh well.
Honestly, I don't think the stereoype applies; I live in the Bay Area, and I know very few "lonely geeks". Most of my friends, natch, are in high tech in one way or another, and most of them do have social lives.
I think the convention will be a bust.
There are geek babes out there! I found one at After Y2K. Her name is Nitrozac, and she's a Techno Talking Babe! Unfortunately I seem to have some competition, as most of her other readers have crushes on her too ;-)
Her latest "appearence" in the comic is here. Dig those boots!
Preach on brother Matt. Same things happened here. The problem with getting a chick into computers having to listen to her problems -- ESPECIALLY when you find it a trivial problem and can pop the answer off the top of your head. Telling your gf shes stupid isn't a good way of gettin some that night.
Do geeks guys usually go for geek girls? Most the folks I know prefer more normal women. :)
:)
I mean, you've been slagging it away with code for 18 hours. Do you really want to come home and discuss it?
Personally, I'd prefer to come home, and have a girl who's just happy that I'm back. Not someone who really wants to know the details of why heap corruption is happening on the PPC build of whatever I'm working on.
Life just gets so one-dimensional when you're dating a geek. You're a geek at work, you're a geek at school. Do you have to be an egghead when you come home, too?
I think it's just nice to have someone who reminds you that code is not EVERYTHING. It's nice to have a life that has nothing to do with computers.
--
--
#include <malloc.h>
free(your.mind);
How do we know that the geek guys in the valley aren't gay or bisexual? Perhaps, they choose to be single because of this. Everyone knows that SF has a large gay population. Could there be any correlation between being gay/bisexual and a geek?
You know, I've just never understood people that feel like they *have* to find someone, that somehow that person will fix whatever is wrong with their lives. What a sadly passive existence. Make yourself happy, and then you are well-prepared to make someone else happy.
"If you are lonely while you're alone, you are in bad company." - Jean-Paul Sartre
Now granted first, I am no hacker. I am close to what could be considered a larval stage, but I am just not that passionate about coding, its just more of a hobby. I am however a hardware geek (just ask me how I hooked up a component CDPlayer, using my VCR as the reciever). I don't find the social interaction to be a problem.
I guess I have learned some lessons over the last few years. Bear in mind that several of these are from my job-now-near-career of Tech Support (end user).
(1) Work is not always the best, nor the only place to look. As I said, I work tech support, so there aren't many women, and the ones that are here are attached or, well... (not to sound mean..)
(2) Work cannot be your life. You cannot live at work, no matter what the company tells you.
(3) People don't normally bite... much. They, unlike dogs, actually seem to prefer a good conversation.
(4) What it all comes down to... Find a place that you feel comfortable at where people congregate (for me, it's the local Starbucks) and make yourself at home. Chat with strangers, or just the people that work there. I have been hanging out a Starbucks for the better part of a year and I have found things to be quite interesting. All the people that work there know me and will openly chat with me (and a few of them are some intelligent and beautiful women). Many of the regulars know me as well and are not afraid to talk. Bottom line, you have to communicate F2F sometimes.
I'm not saying it works for everyone, but for the cost of coffee, it's worth it.
Diji
"I came, I saw, I WTF'd!"
nt
---
It's the appreciation that's the hard part.. Most women I've known tend to consider tech distasteful and something best not spoken of in public.
"Oh yah. Those tech vests are real nice. Fascinating." get me OUTTA this store! I've got database interface wrappers to debug!!
I dream of the day I can find a woman who:
Is that too much to ask?
yep, been there, dun did that! If only we could make those austin powers robo-slut chicks.....8)
http://zeits.net/matt/
matt zeits
As a post suggestion here...
Just becuase you're a geek, doesn't necessarily mean you need another geek. I perosnally, find that a non-geek helps keep me grounded and from losing touch with reality. Sure, she won't know COPY from FDISK, but if she loves ya, who the hell cares.
Diji
"I came, I saw, I WTF'd!"
Notice this is run by a guy, and he's trying to get girls along.
How distressed do you think he gets if only girls show up?
"The men here are every mother's dream. They're stable and well-educated, and they are wealthy. Some of them have millions and millions of dollars and no one to spend it on."
Sorry to be crass but that just pisses me off. Blatant gold digging bullshit. I hsould just go find a real hooker, at least i know what I'm not getting. Guess some guys will buy into this though.
"Fighting the underpants gnomes since 1998!" "Bruce Schneier knows the state of schroedinger's cat"
What does ROTFL (nt) mean?
What are the odds that some smart fella has invented a device to control brainwaves over computer monitors and is using it to manipulate large numbers of single women into visiting his area? If he can just figure out a way to disable a woman's ability to parse bad taste in clothes, tendencies to eat a lot of junk food, and the inability to deal with direct sunlight, then he's done a service for geek men everywhere. If somebody can find him, give that man a GNobel prize.
What does that have to do with Patriarchy? There is no Patriarchy, just some bitchy women.
Any woman can live with a geek if he's loaded.
.. and we all know that his coding abilities suck... :o)
Agreed. Case in point, Bill Gates.
(c'mon, you don't really think his wife is after his BODY do you?
When you, the geek aware that there are many lonely geeks in this world, meet an intelligent but computer-ignorant woman who needs to use computers in any way,
/.er is teaching, or the friend she knows who needed someone to talk to about machines, or...
teach her how as though she's a potential geek. She is.
Not all of these attempts will prosper. Most of them, if you honestly believe that anyone can understand computers to the limits of their intelligence, will at least improve these women's affection for computers and understanding of geeks. (Adjectives are in the right order.) A few of them will take root in that familar larval-stage way.
Result: a few more she-geeks; more women who can understand an interest in computers; and almost all of them will now think of geeks as people they can talk with, not people who talk at them. Far more, dare I say, fertile ground for romance.
Caveat: Assume that you won't date this woman; this may be an untrue assumption, but it will probably improve the interaction. (Talking to women only because you hope to sleep with them is emotionally analagous to sleeping with men only in hopes of getting money from them.) You get to date the woman some other
it's a gift economy all round.
In any of these surveys of which place has the most women, the cities top the charts. NYC has a surplus of 500,000 single women. The fact is that Silicon Valley is a lame place. The only things to do at night are to go to movies and to drive to Walmart. San Francisco is inconvenient because it's at least an hour's drive away. How I wish that the high tech employers here would move to an area where the standard of living, based on nightlife, food quality, and gender ratio, is better.
Okay let's get right to the bottom of this
"Good Man" tripe.
A "Good Man" is rich enough that the female
will either be able to stop working (or play at
working) while Mr. Right supports her. A "Good
Man" will be interested in Marriage, which is
not always what it's supposed to be, and can
often cause problems in relationships. A "Good
Man" wants to reproduce, despite the fact that there are too many people on the planet as it is.
Even though by all rights, I should fall squarely into the "Good Man" category, I have experienced
real alienation from women; I've got a pretty decent career, and I'm even more attractive than not, but here's the deal:
#1. I do NOT want to be married (a contract between you and the STATE, not between you and your SPOUSE, and therefore a myth)
#2. I do NOT want to become somebody else's means
of support, I want that special somebody to be able to, and want to, take care of herself
#3. I do NOT want children. Having children
is something you do instead of living your own life.
Needless to say, few women find me worth the time
of day when they learn my feelings on those issues.
-fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
Did anyone else notice the money back guarantee if a woman doesn't find at least one good man? Who else thinks that there will be a class action lawsuit against American Singles because some women claimed they didn't find a good man? American Singles will claim that they did. Of course the problem will be that the plaintiffs will say the men were no good because they weren't exicting enough or something.
speaking for us non-geek chicks (though they'd probably protest if they knew i was trying to be some sort of advocate) - i just find it a bit insulting that you assume that all we want is to be some sort of martha stewart-talking-head-clone thing. i mean, most of us - or at least some of us - are rather career minded and would be able to understand someone who was equally so.
okay, that's my shpeal... take it or not. whatever.
art is not a toy.
I doubt internal dating services would do that much good. They can't guarantee you a spouse. They only way to do that is to offer concubines, which may not be too far off either.
learn to dance. He has it right. Almost all girls like to dance, it is a shame more guys do not learn. You don't need a partner, you can get tapes. Dancing to techno type music is not hard.
Going to clubs dancing is probably the best way to build a social life from zero.
support gun control: take guns from cops
Hmm... Sound like this might be a good company perk to add...
"...and we'll do your laundry, give you free lunch, and find you a spouse to nag you..."
It's only a matter of time before the large companies start their own internal dating services.
It really is gross and rude. I can't believe that shit.
If you have "millions and millions of dollars" and you aren't even getting laid you have a major, major, problem. If I did I would not touch any of these gold diggers. If I wanted whores I'd go to one of those escort services (there are some that have extremely hot women too); if I wanted love I certainly wouldn't go around flashing money and telling women that I was rich (you'd have to pretend not to be, I think).
support gun control: take guns from cops
Lisa,
You just don't get it. You can't quit your job and geek out all day in style unless your sugar daddy is a milionaire. Proper geeking requires a datacenter with at least 45 computers, 3 different processor architectures and 5 different operating systems. Admittedly there are a few mulitmillionaires around town, but they're all ex microsofties and would object to buying you an UltraSparc - espescially if they knew you planned to run FreeBSD on it. Get yourself a job with a company that has a huge datacenter and then you can roll around naked on a pile of ethernet cables between a Sun E500 and and Alpha GS 60. That's what I do at work - late at night when nobody is looking of course.
--Shoeboy
Did you ever think that it happens the other way around??!!????
And with that kinda attitude.. your right hand will probably be your best friend.
E500 Oops, that should read E5000. Scott McNealy is going to come to my house with a flamethrower now.
--Shoeboy
After reading this article I don't think so. First, it is obvious that this is going to attract at least 99% golddiggers, so plenty of geek men will stay away knowing this. Second, someone is quoted as saying to keep an open mind about this if you are worried about finding a mass of Bill Gates clones (or something like that). Of course they don't really mean clones of Bill Gates, they just mean a geek, but don't know how to describe him other than using Bill Gates. From this we know that the women who are coming are dealing with the fact that they are repulsed by the looks and personality of the men there. If that is true for the women there, then that leaves money as the only reason they are coming to this.
Am I the only one that takes it as a strong insult when I get compliments like this? It's as if I were a chef being complimented on how well I heated up a TV dinner. I feel as if the people saying these sorts of things, in awe of how I was able to set up a sound card, or diagnose that a machine needs more RAM and then add it, are unable to distinguish my knowledge from the most basic of computer skills. And in fact, since they've used up all their words of praise, there's no way I could ever receive a decent compliment from them.
Here is a suggestion to all those geeks still in college or university: find a mate while you are at school -- it's your best shot at a good match.
Universities have, and likely will continue to be the one place in life where you will meet
a) good-looking and
b) intelligent partners
...whether you are a man looking for a woman, vice versa, or any other combination in between. And most importantly, you will find these people in the greatest numbers at this point in your life.
And in case anybody in Southern Ontario is reading, the University of Guelph has a great female:male ratio -- 7 to 3. (Though I suppose that ratio is not so great for straight women. Ah well, as a straight man, I've been enjoying it.) [grin]
denying them sex and then using the resulting tension as a pretext for the divorce would be a cinch. This, more or less, happened to me. Many divorces happen this way. Your sex life changes after a couple of years of marriage, the guy decides a divorce would be fairly simple, and boom, the wife has a hotshot lawyer and is trying to take everything.
"One guy I know hasn't ever had a girlfriend and he's just turned 27. "
Well, I can't say he doesn't deserve it, well, at least the one or two dicks I know don't deserve to EVER have a girlfriend, or even a boyfriend, if that's what they like. They're complete jerks.
Only one of them is a geek. The other one is gonna be an English teacher. Don't have kids. You were warned.
Some people just don't get with people cuz they're too afraid. They don't love the one they are with, but are afraid to move on, etc.
The concept of being alone terrifies me.
I don't care if my girlfriend is a "guru" or not, as long as she isn't afraid to ask me what a gigabyte is.
Just glad I got someone willing to learn . . .
later
Dan
Computer Literacy bookstore in Sunnyvale and San Jose (my favorite real-world store). And... they charge so much for their books (compared to online), you have to have a decent income to even walk in there.
-- Virtual Windows Project
More like something you tell them as late in the relationship as possible ("Well it is nice whether today, andsometimesIcodeinVB, don't you think? Did I mention how great you look?")
You wouldn't put recent bouts with foot warts in a personal add...
-
Now, if these women are willing to buy a ticket and fly across the country just for the chance to net themselves a geek, why not just wander down to the nearest university and hunt around in the engineering or comp sci faculties. (Note: if you are having trouble finding nerdy boys, head downwards...the computer labs are often in the basement)
Mind you, Palo Alto probably has pretty good weather, so you're not entirely wasting your vacation.
Dana
I havn't had /too/ much trouble finding women, but don't go to them).
.. no matter how much you love computers, unless you're betting like the lottary, you actually have to expend some effort to go out and find one. Take a 2 month vacation from computers. Try not to use them outside of work. I'll try not to make it sound too material, but just like you have to spend a few hours getting that script done, finding yourself a soul mate also takes a little bit of deticated time and effort.
I'll tell you one thing
"Old man yells at systemd"
To that I can only say, Fuck all y'all bitches! I'd rather stick with my right hand for all eternity than get with some superficial gold-digging asshole.
Beer recipe: free! #Source
Cold pints: $2 #Product
Yea, sure, the chicks have all the options. The closest to a geek chik I found was a girl I work with, and ya know, don't shit where ya eat....
"Single geek guy seeks single geek girl. Likes: ANSI/POSIX C, GNU programming tools, vi(m), GNOME, flower arranging. Dislikes: Microsoft Anything, ties, conspicuous consumption. Seeking single 20something girl who knows the difference between df and du, an integer and an integral, force and momentum. Relative sanity an absolute must. Fax resume to: (...)"
Finding God in a Dog
I've dated "normal" girls and geek girls (Math, Biology- common for geek girls, and Engineering). When talking with "normal" girls, somethings just... Not quite there... I imagine that the intelligence distribution on women is the same as it is on men. So, the question is then, what are the intelligent women doing if there is 10% women in CS than men? I am sure that they are out there, but what are they doing? I do not know the answer, but if anyone has any ideas...
Real geek; could never dance without injuring people; movement of the limbs was only a rough approximation of the orders they received from the brain => after a decade or two, three of that and the resulting ridicule there is just no way you can still manage to associate dancing (etc) with fun. Unless you take a lot of alcohol/drugs, but those disable the brain, which was the only interesting thing about you anyway...
Currently 50% of all marriages end in divorce. In the next few years that number is going to shoot up to 80% at least for all intents and purposes (to the below 35 geeks). Women start 91% of all divorces. That means if you are young, single, and male and get married, then there is a 72.8% chance that your wife will leave you. (To prove this is valid, there are studies that have extrapolated the divorce rate, and find that sometime in the 21st century there will be no marriage. I don't really believe that, but my anaylsis is not developed in a vaccum.)
Take into consideration that at least 15 states only have no fault divorce. That means you can't divorce you spouse if they committed adultery, etc. Also, take into account that divorce courts are heavily female biased. There are a high incidince of false allegations of abuse and rape in these situations. Leaving all of that aside, that means a man will lose at least 50% of his income and will only see his kids at most twice a month. This is assuming that he doesn't lose his freedom.
Geeks seem to have plenty of assets to protect. Also, could you take never or rarely seeing you kids again, when you were just with them as much as possible? It seems that male geeks have figured this out even if they don't realize it. This in addition to the years of discriminatory rejection that we have to deal with from women makes this apparent to us.
Why do you think Hillary Clinton (as well as her husband Billary) try to propose all of these socalist programs? They know that eventually any man with money will not get married (or even date or have sex) to stay out of this system. They have to get to us somehow.
I don't find it insulting because it only has to do with adding RAM or a sound card. What I find insulting is when women my mother's age act like we should be dating their daughters. It isn't our fault that they would rather be with a guy that beats them. (That last sentence was an exaggeration, but you get the idea.)
...Riiiiiiigggghhhhhht.....
Apparently, we are every mother's dream, but that doesn't speak to their daughters. So that means only golddiggers will show up and/or lots of old women.
Lexi the Linus girl wrote: >As a geek girl, who has and is dating a geek man, I have but to as what do they think they have to offer the >attractive geek man? companionship, intelligent converstion, a diversion from the average day, sex Wait a minute you think a nongeek girl has nothing to offer a geek boi? When I first meet my boyfriend, whom i've been with for 2 years now, I had no idea what he was talking about when discussing code but I could empathize with his frustrations and his glee when he figured out a problem or be completely amused when he and his housemate would get in jousting matches over different technologies just to amuse themselves. Over time I became knowledgeable about the different compontes that made up the software he was working on, then it was pointcast and now XUL and other parts that will comprise the new Netscape browser. This meant I asked alot of questions about what he was talking about until I felt I could actually understand what he was talking about. Just because a girl is not a geek by trade does not mean she could not communicate with a geek boi. It just means that if she is truly interested in her man she will take the time to understand him and he will take the time to explain things to her. Oh and the occasional conversttion about non work things are always nice. And if I ever start talking Marth Stewart I will personally kill myself thank you. signed, a geek boi's girlfriend
The "sexually uptight" morals of the Protestant Reformation, most extremely typified by the pioneering demes like Puritans, Quakers, Amish and the like, are not simply neurotic hold-overs from the tribes praised by Tacitus in his Germania -- they are the keys to progress.
Humans are continually striving to return, in the older parts of their souls, to their origins in subsaharan Africa where the three-tier concentric sociosexual circle of alpha males, concubines with children and peripheral beta males, is embedded so deeply.
This is why Margaret Mead, in a conversation I had with her in 1971, told me that the entry of women into the workplace mandated one fundamental compensating change:
An "incest taboo" in the workplace.
Subsequent decades have proven Ms. Mead far too liberal.
The flood of females into middle-management, coupled with the "glass ceiling" against their occupation of the executive suites and board rooms, has undone, within a single generation the painstaking creation of technological civilization's foundation and unleashed the three-tier sociosexual structure of pre-technological primates.
Importation of females won't solve this problem -- it will merely change Silicon Valley from a work camp to yet another urban area destined for a downward slide that will make descent into the so-called "dark ages" look like a picnic -- for this time, there are no pockets of isolation from this decay except, perhaps China.
Seastead this.
True indeed. Many a witty, brainy young lass turned this geek's heart to butter in his formative cycles. And now, a slightly older, slightly wiser, slightly portly geek can look back at the 9+ years of joy with his then-girlfriend-now-wife-and-mother-of-his-child. She ain't no coder. She ain't no cracker. Her eyes glaze when I talk of Perlish things, and she oh-so-patiently forgives my O'Reilly habit. We have enough geeky things in common to make us happy, and enough differences to keep us sane. My advice for those in search of geeks to love:
PEEK, POKE, PUSH, POP. That's all there is to it.
Advice to those who may be late twentysomething and haven't 'done the deed' yet...Amsterdam. Make an excuse to go there (2 week jaunt to Europe is easy to pitch). Get a local guidebook and search a little Red Light district back street called "Dutch Alley." A few, highly attractive women work the alley and it's full of potential customers--but there are truly striking women there. Private clubs are another option but I know little about those.
Yes, prostitution a health risk, but it's somewhat regulated there. You won't be able to tell many people back in the States what you did. But it's for the milestone, and you won't have to continue to torture yourself. You can move on and learn from it.
Dutch readers might want to chime in with advice on this subject. America is pretty intolerant of prostitution to its discredit.
Let's see. Limited social skills, and limited social time (that's time available to spend with other people, rather than sitting in front of a CRT) are the oft quoted reasons for why these individuals are single. The only thing these guys have going for them is that they have large amounts of disposable income. Not exactly the strongest base for a meaningful relationship.
I mean, who's going to fix all the bugs in open source software when all the good guys are getting laid instead of bored on saturday nights? *eg*
http://www.datingfaces.com
goddamnit. don't you think that SOME of us have our *own* money!? i treasure my fiance's studly sysadminliness far more than his options any day.
it's not unheard of, you know. maybe if you went beyond looking for superficial crap like nice asses you would discover someone with substance. no, i am not saying all men do this. i am just saying.
I think you'd have to be pretty pathetic and desperate to go to SV from all over the country to find a man. Not that there aren't plenty of good men there-but that's a lot of effort to go through just for a man. And if I were one of those guys, I'd feel pretty insulted that women were being lured to me by the promise of a stable, large disposable income.
But I have to admit, every great once in awhile (after I've become frustrated with my job, for example) I do spend a second to ponder the possibility of finding a "sugar daddy". And being that I'm a geekgrrl, I imagine it wouldn't be *too* hard.
C'mon guys, you know you would do it too if it were as easy for you as it is for us.
(before I get flamed....*please* realize that I would never actually seek out someone for their money. I'd lose a lot of respect for myself if I wasn't supporting myself)
-Lisa
Ever hear the news story about the Fl*rida lawyer who sued her husband for not winning the bread? You're not missing much by being unmarried.
Will get you no where... if you really want to date the trash that is out there then go and do it the normal way. Yes bars suck. Yes all singles scenes suck but you know what? anything worthwhile in life comes at a price. It just so happens this price is buying a few drinks and listening to a few complete dimwits.F /...
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Openstep/NeXTSTEP/Solaris/FreeBSD/Linux/ultrix/OS
--- I do not moderate.
Pre-nup. I know I would never get married without one.
--
Kyle R. Rose, MIT LCS
[ home ]
"Well, I can't say he doesn't deserve it, well, at least the one or two dicks I know don't deserve to EVER have a girlfriend, or even a boyfriend, if that's what they like. They're complete jerks."
I think most of us in this position are just sick of superficial women. We're nice if you get to know us, but (a) people don't approach us because they're superficial, and (b) we don't approach anyone else because we learn to expect failure after years of encountering it.
"The concept of being alone terrifies me."
You're not the only one.
--
Kyle R. Rose, MIT LCS
[ home ]
I think most of us in this position are just sick of superficial women. We're nice if you get to know us, but (a) people don't approach us because they're superficial, and (b) we don't approach anyone else because we learn to expect failure after years of encountering it.
Hmm. Can't let this one slide. You act like a jerk because you're sick of superficial women, but when women don't approach you, it's because they're superficial, not because you act like a jerk. You may think you're being nice 'inside', but I've encountered this attitude too many times not to point out: if you look like a jerk, and you quack like a jerk. . . .
Which is why http://www.girlfriendstealer.com/ can be useful :=)
would it be more ethical if i said the reason i didn't want to work anymore was so i could just geek out all day? c'mon...spending all of your money on your girlfriend might be worth it if she turned into as much of a geek as you ;)
This morning in the breakfast queue at work I was called "whiz" (as in computer) by one of the older (ie about the same age as my mother) women who told everyine about how wonderful I am with computers. All I did was scan in a couple of pages and put them on a floppy disk. I said that I wished that girls (women really) of my age were impressed with that sort of thing. The young lady on the check-out laughed.
I'm 24 and haven't had a girlfriend now for 2 years and 4 months.... Sometimes C and C++ just aren't enough.
One guy I know hasn't ever had a girlfriend and he's just turned 27.
Poor sod.
I'm out of my tree just now but please feel free to leave a banana.
How could you look for a sugar daddy and still want to support yourself? Or are you saying that you fantasize about it but wouldn't do it?
...
I'm confused
D
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Of course, that's assuming that the woman decides to give her short-term-husband some. Given that the victims of this kind of scam would have substandard social skills, denying them sex and then using the resulting tension as a pretext for the divorce would be a cinch.