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The Ottoman PC

R3 writes "Looks like Intel is trying to come up with some sort of iMac-like PC - "for home" and this is the best they could some up with is the Ottoman PC. " Here are some more pictures . The sad thing is that I think its cool. I'd like a PIII in the arm of my sofa too please.

149 comments

  1. Re:FIRST or close to it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    yea man im with ya. one time someone told me i didnt get first post and i had a nervous breakdown. real bummer man.

  2. Other SOZO designs by CharlesV · · Score: 1

    Aren't these the people that designed the AZTEC prototype for intel? Multicolored, and a lot more aesthetically pleasing, I could see someone wanting one of those around...

  3. Hahaha by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Hahahahahahahahahahaha... hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    HaHAHAHAHAHAhaha

    (Sorry, the only thing that came to mind..)

    (Hahahahahahahaha)

  4. Re:This is best they could do!? by Tekhir · · Score: 1

    So the iMac is just a rehash of the old Apple II and PS/1 computers.

  5. Re:what is this peice of crap? by Tekhir · · Score: 1

    The keyboard is wireless.

  6. Re:Wow... by Tekhir · · Score: 1

    And the iMac and G3 towers aren't ugly. Yeah right. SGIs look good. This looks different. The iBook is neat, but don't try to say the iMac is cool looking.

  7. Isn't that a little low for a keyboard? by DiningPhilosopher · · Score: 1

    It's a cool idea, but honestly, do you really want to use a keyboard that's a foot off the ground? I think I'd have to pick the thing up and put it in my lap to use it.

    --
    /* The beatings will continue until morale improves. */
  8. Re:You know, not to put a twisted spin on it, but. by Tekhir · · Score: 1

    The keyboard comes out, it wireless. The Registry had some pics of the keyboard removed.

  9. Re:Wow... by hello_c · · Score: 1

    Effeminate maybe, but not actual, say, housekeepers... who would have known that 1) furniture gets kicked around, and 2) things kept under flip-top lids are counterproductive because there's always stuff piled on top of the lid.

  10. Re:Can I submit a paper magazine as a story? by hello_c · · Score: 1

    I'm planning to build a livingroom computer based on a dictionary or music stand - close old analogies to the two computer problems: heavy things you need to adjust in 3 angles, and see with your hands full.

  11. Re:Unbelievable... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


    Let me guess: It's default OS is Windows. Wonderful.

    So right in the middle of a conversation, I'll have to say..."Sorry, but think you had a core dump with that piece of funiture you're sitting on. It's going to take a few minutes for it to come back up -- in the meantime, want a drink?


    Brian J. Mitchell

  12. Re:quote by cr0sh · · Score: 1

    This saying is actually FAR, far older - dunno how old, but damn old...

    --
    Reason is the Path to God - Anon
  13. Other intel protoypes by CharlesV · · Score: 1

    Just kidding, wasn't aztec, was Ziba Design...much better in my opinion, here's a PC Mag article with a pic of it...droolish http://www.zdnet.com.au/pcm/features/9811/t981111a .html

  14. Top 10 Tech Support Calls from the Future by miracle69 · · Score: 5

    10) "Uh, I just had a rather large movement and I can't flush the Ottoman."

    9) "Where do I put my feet when I'm using my footrest?"

    8) "You mean I have to plug my footstool IN?"

    7) "I put my Pop-Tarts in there 5 minutes ago and they're still not ready.

    6) "What do you mean I can't kick my footstool?"

    5) "I can only fit one beer into my 5X Drink Vender Drive"

    4) "I'm sitting on the stool and typing with the keyboard, but I can't see what I'm typing."

    3) "There's something loose in my stool."

    2) "The sofa-bed crashed while grandma was sleeping, and now we can't get her out."

    1) "Will tough actin' Tinactin clean all my viruses?"

    --
    Linux - Because Mommy taught me to Share.
  15. What a pisser, this is crap by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    Yikes, I totally agree with you; it does look like a toliet. Thank god it is not translucent toliet. Of course, with a hot running CPU such a toliet would be great during those cold winter months. And if you live in Canada, you would probably want to o/c the sucker.

    Now all they need is a matching wide format continuous roll label printer.

  16. Re:"I have seen the future of the PC and it is a". by borkbork · · Score: 1

    just what i need, spend a couple thousand dollars on a computer and one of my friends comes over and pees on the thing...

    --
    ---- There is a fine line between sayings that make sense.
  17. or the iFootstool by RoLlEr_CoAsTeR · · Score: 1

    hee hee.. yeah, you're right!

    but, to me, it also looks like, once folded, it would serve as a nice footstool.... now, for that sofa (I've got plenty of books to sit back and read....)

    --

    Insert mind here.
  18. You said it! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    As soon as I saw it, my sphincter loosened! I'm
    serious, this is fucking hilarious -- it looks
    just like a toilet.

    Geez, gotta go now -- and I mean I GOTTA GO NOW!!

    Maybe this company can put one of those micro-mini
    pc's in a wireless dildo, perfect place for a porn
    site, I'd say!

    1. Re:You said it! by R3 · · Score: 1

      Re: dildo - Actually, it's been done already...well...sort of...:) http://www.ibrator.com/

    2. Re:You said it! by Steffen · · Score: 1

      Someone already has

      www.ibrator.com

    3. Re:You said it! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      you know, with all the responses people are giving regarding this little gem, I'd imagine that we may be slashdotting the sanitary sewage treatment systems in various large urban areas.

    4. Re:You said it! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I used to engage in quasi-serious references to a paper I fictitiously wrote entitled "The Joystick as an Output Device." With the advanced dildonics these days, I should have pateneted the idea ten years ago instead of annoying people by carrying on about it.

  19. Re:Wow.... by Evangelion · · Score: 1

    True. Imagine what you could do with an 11 port USB hub....

  20. I have seen the future .. by Splat · · Score: 2

    .. and it looks like a waffle maker.

    "Waffle Inside"

  21. If the iBook were opaque white... by Wakko+Warner · · Score: 0
    ...you might some day go into CompUSA and find a few of them sitting on the floor with piles of turd atop them. The only thing keeping them from looking like stool depositories is the hideous orange/blue translucent plastic.

    - A.P.
    --


    "One World, one Web, one Program" - Microsoft promotional ad

    --
    "Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War On Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore?"
  22. Re:cool! but does it run linux? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Linux disables the serial number on startup :)
    Search for "serial" in /usr/src/linux/arch/i386/kernel/setup.c

  23. Yeah, sure. by G-Man · · Score: 1

    G3/400: 4-7 watts G4/450: 5-8 watts PIII/600: 34.5 watts Well, I suppose it's not unusually hot for Intel.

  24. Computer games by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Hey, I could load empire on it...

    Ottoman Empire...

    Get it?

  25. Unbelievable... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    And Dvorak said the iBook looks like a toilet seat.

    1. Re:Unbelievable... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's not just a toilet, its a toilet with a keyboard. That, along with a PIII and an LCD apparently makes all the difference. I bet the designer was having a difficult time coming up with a new design until he was sitting on the toilet and got some insight.

    2. Re:Unbelievable... by thomasdelbert · · Score: 1

      You know, this first thing I did was grep the list for the word toilet, not having read any of the comments, five hits.

      Youp, that was my first impression too.

      (Well, they said "for the home....")

      --
      ___ This sig is in boldface to emphasize its importance!
    3. Re:Unbelievable... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Who ARE these butt-heads! If you think the pictures are funny, take a gander at the Q&A/FAQ on the "Ottoman." Among the nuggets of wisdom:

      "Furniture PC is a personal computer that is encased in a mobile piece of functional furniture that inherintly fits in a home, or small office ... Traditional PCs, desktop or notebook, require space on a surface..."
      Uh, or space on a "laptop" or "hand."

      "(Ottomans are a) popular furniture item ... currently very trendy and popular among professional interior designers for their versatility."
      Gee, my grandma will be so happy to know she's been "cutting edge" for years.

      How long will it be before Microsoft files for a patent on "cube or rounded-cube padded pedastals designed for tarpal-ground displacement, utilizing patented TrueToe foot anti-aliasing technology and built in Internet Explorer." Then again, Bill would probably go with the more lucrative toilet metaphor and claim that commodes are an integral part of Windows95.

    4. Re:Unbelievable... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No! Wait! It's a waffle iron!

  26. ottoman PC by mazpaz · · Score: 1

    Has anybody else noticed the strange (but not surprising) resemblance that Intel's Ottoman PC has to a Port-a-Pottie (or more properly, a Port-a-Sans)? Not only in it's shape and fold-up lid, oops... i mean monitor, but the fake leopard-skin top design, much like a toilet cover. Hmmm... Maybe Coleman is going to sue...

    --
    "You can kill the dreamer but you cannot kill the dream"
  27. Jeezus by antizeus · · Score: 1
    I guess this sort of thing might be great if your living space was so small that you could have a computer, or furniture, but not both.

    I'll stick with my standard looking PCs with their cheap parts.

    --
    -- $SIGNATURE
  28. ottoman? more like iToilet by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    this thing makes my bowels try to release. please put the lid down when you're done

    1. Re:ottoman? more like iToilet by cebe · · Score: 1

      it looks like a barbeque
      i wanna toss some smokies on it

      --
      You have paid for a total of 0 pages and so far 0 have been used up (0 today).
  29. whatever by cheese63 · · Score: 1

    you'll never see me with one of them.

  30. Great by Bill+Currie · · Score: 1

    I can just see the kids fighting over it: "I wanna sit on it", "No!, I wanna play doom/quake/maelstrom".

    --

    Bill - aka taniwha
    --
    Leave others their otherness. -- Aratak

    1. Re:Great by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's a design that clearly didn't get reality-tested, although a friend built something similar. A standard (desktop) PC bolted to a wheeled metal frame with a wood work surface on the top. The monitor (standard, flat screen was too $$$$) was elevated near the back. Roll the unit over to the couch, work on it, then roll it back into its' corner. The big problem was that couches vary widely in the height the work surface would require, some kind of automatic (hydraulic?) adjustment system was needed, but the PC was outdated before he got around to building one...

  31. Wow.... by Evangelion · · Score: 2


    So, can we get a widescreen LCD display on a coffee table to go with that?

    Speaking of concept computers, this still beats anything Intel has come up (of course, Intel Inside could bring new meaning to that concept....)

    BTW, didn't Intel come up with an Aztec-like pyramid-looking computer some time ago? I was digging around for it yesteday and couldn't find it.

    1. Re:Wow.... by Bill+Currie · · Score: 1

      Ummm... not only does that beat Intel, it sure as heck beats Apple as well. Actually, `Intel Inside' could cause some problems: namely burns or float errors.

      --

      Bill - aka taniwha
      --
      Leave others their otherness. -- Aratak

    2. Re:Wow.... by Evangelion · · Score: 1

      Well, be thankful it doesn't result in fertilization - divison errors could be really nasty then.

      And I hope that anyone using one would be smart enough to be careful about overclocking it too much.

      :-)

    3. Re:Wow.... by Bill+Currie · · Score: 1

      Aye, though SMP could be interesting, or even a Beowulf cluster.

      --

      Bill - aka taniwha
      --
      Leave others their otherness. -- Aratak

    4. Re:Wow.... by jingle_lady · · Score: 2

      As I clicked on the link above, a co-worker came into my cubicle so I turned around to talk to him. All of a sudden his eyes got really big so I turn around and there's this...thing on my monitor. I was soo embarrased. :)

  32. How do I use this? by Lysander+Luddite · · Score: 1

    Jeez. It looks impractical to use. How do I sit in front of this thing and comfortably type? Where do I use the mouse? If the keyboard comes out (didn't see it) is it wireless? If not there's a tangled mess like phone cords.

    It seems very impractical for use but excellent to hide from thieves or gamers. Pray your visitor doesn't sit on it!

    1. Re:How do I use this? by Evangelion · · Score: 1

      Yes, the keyboard is wireless.

      It looks like there are trackballs on the keyboard, but I can't be sure. Nothing is mentioned in the fact sheet about it.

      There's an 11 port USB hub on it, which is pretty damn nifty. If there isn't a trackball on the keyboard, you could put a wireless USB mouse on it easily.

      Looks nifty. I would never buy one (if I ever find I have gratuitious amounts money to throw at a new system, it will be an Alpha workstation), but I can see how some people who have extra IPO money lying around and nothing better to do would like one.

    2. Re:How do I use this? by Evangelion · · Score: 2
  33. This is best they could do!? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    They make fun of the iMac and the color bit and this is best they can do? Gawd, sad. Of course with the G4 out, about the best thing to do with a PIII is make a foot rest out of it. :) I like what Apple has done to make computers look better (though I still think the SGI O2 is the best looking machine I have seen so far). I would have hoped that Intel camp could have done better than this crap. At least as was mentioned in the original post make it part of a chair, not a foot rest! Better luck next time.

  34. You know, not to put a twisted spin on it, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    The issue cannot be escaped.

    There is only one way to properly use this computer: you must place the computer between your legs to type at it.

    Yes, indeed. Humpable computers will add an entirely new dimension to the internet experience.

    ...multimedia, indeed...

  35. waffle iron by mcc · · Score: 3

    everyone's saying it's a toilet, but really, the more i look at it, the more i disagree:
    i think it looks like a waffle iron.

    actually what it _really_ looks like is "George Foreman's Lean Mean Grilling Machine". If you've ever seen one of those, then the ottoman pc looks _exactly_ like that. only thicker.

    either way i think we should praise intel for coming up with their own slightly scary "creative" design instead of stealing apple's slightly scary "creative" design. Although it looks like it takes after the imac in one way: a horrible keyboard. except that the keyboard's built in, so if you want an extended or DVORAK one then too bad.. i may be wrong though. i can't really see from that tiny picture. And doesn't it seem like a circular monitor would waste a lot of potential screen space? well, whatever.

    1. Re:waffle iron by PurpleBob · · Score: 1
      Anyone who knows Dvorak worth anything doesn't need a Dvorak keyboard. Just use a Dvorak keymap. If you're touch-typing, it doesn't matter what the keys say.

      And they could save the problem of wasting space - just have a circular screen with special circular software! So what if you need a course in geometry to resize a window!
      (For the humor impaired, that's a joke. I think any non-square monitor is completely stupid, and I extend this to include a Mac's rounded corners.)
      --

      --
      Win dain a lotica, en vai tu ri silota
  36. Laff! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It's a joke, right? Somebody tell me it's a joke... pleeeze!

    1. Re:Laff! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Geezuz Christ! I could have sworn this was an article on theonion.com! It just can't be real. I hate how people envision a future of ubiquitous computing, invariably citing a toaster as an example. People please have a little more creativity and imagination. Hell, I don't even eat toast that often, but I don't think it really requires a cpu to make sure my toast doesn't burn. Hilarious, and completely useless. Give me a portable CD player with a .mp3 decoder chip on it, not this shlockey crap! (I Don't think Sony will be bringing one out anytime soon, with how much vested interest they have in music rights, and interest. Time for a paradigm shift, and this is not the way. Just a crappy prototype that will never make it to market, and will bomb harder than the Gremlin, or the Rio

  37. Toasters by Maledictus · · Score: 1

    SGI missed the boat by not issuing the chrome O2.

    My mom had one of those 1950s chrome toasters. I got shocked every time I touched it.

    Explains a lot.

    --
    Consigned to flames of woe.
  38. Can I submit a paper magazine as a story? by Maledictus · · Score: 3

    I have a snooty magazine of home decor for the tasteless and independently wealthy that features *wooden* monitors. You know, the case is wooden. They come in birch, cherry, oak. Matching keyboards (the keys weren't wood) and mice (just the part under your palm was wood.)

    They were actually pretty slick.

    And you know, if you have a big old house straight from the early 1900s, a computer sittin' around looks...well...dumb. 'Course, I'd rather have mine disguised as a mahogany Victorian highboy, but that's just me.

    --
    Consigned to flames of woe.
    1. Re:Can I submit a paper magazine as a story? by delld · · Score: 1

      Here ya go:
      http://www.techarts.com/woodcomputers/
      Hope ya don't get no termites!

  39. what's next? by jonathanclark · · Score: 1

    - Toilet PC. With PowerSaving mode there is no more having to remember to put the lid down.
    - Pillow PC. What are doing wasting 6-8 hours a day sleeping for? Cooling fan will keep you warm on cold winter nights.
    - Table top PC. Remember those pacman games in 80s? With integrated cameras you can now sit down to a "family dinner" even if you family is in another city, with volume control for grandma.
    - Lawn ornament PC. Realistically modeled to look like a plastic pink flamingo, this PC acts as a security camera and wireless repeater. If you have a big lawn, put lots of flamingos up!
    - PC PC. Just when you thought no one used real PCs anymore, this PC is a all in one microchip placed inside a 90s "retro" box. The extra space can be used to store clothing or small pets such as hamsters and gerbils.

  40. Ottoman by Smelecat · · Score: 1

    Looks like we're one step closer to being able to take a dump and check our email at the same time.
    Maybe a dot matrix printer/toilet paper dispenser is in the works?

  41. geeez by British · · Score: 1

    I found the topic originally on as a topic for an IRC channel. Just as I was complaining about how slow the web server was, I finaly find out why. heh.

    For the 20 bytes I can get out of the server, the design looks awful. Just plain awful. Give me a carpenter and I could make something better

    1. Re:geeez by angelo · · Score: 1

      Well the reason the company's server is so slow in dealing the pictures is because they're 1.3 megs a piece. Another "clever" marketing group putting out pages that knows nothing about graphics formats. 300dpi for the web is wrong!

  42. Tripping over the power cord by unitron · · Score: 1
    How can you possibly keep these things plugged in? Just what you need in a busy family room, a cord stretched across the floor. I hope UL burns 'em a new one.

    'Course this does bring a whole new meaning to the term 'reboot'.

    --

    I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

  43. It lookslike a toilet by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I want to take a shit in it.

  44. Goofiest thing i've ever seen. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    How do you protect your wrists while typing propped up on the device like that? And the idea of strings holding the (most likely) expensive LCD up would have me worried a little. What if you accidentally tipped it on its side and rolled down the steps into the basement? Is it sturdy enough to take it?

    Does it have an Internet button too?

    Wheres the mouse?

  45. In the early 80's by jabber · · Score: 2

    my parents used to have this battery powered ash-trasy that sucked in the smoke from their cigarettes. It looked suspiciously like this thing, only a lot smaller.

    I'm sure this thing, give the larger size, will suck a lot more.

    --

    -- What you do today will cost you a day of your life.
  46. ... by Signal+11 · · Score: 2

    HEY! Intel is NOT inside this thing!!!!!

    --

  47. Intel has beat Apple once again. by crayz · · Score: 1

    People said the iBook looked like a toilet seat. Well this one is an entire toilet. Sorry Apple, you lose again.

    I mean, the thing not only looks like shit, but it looks like somewhere you'd take a shit. Nice work Intel, I hope it has the full 3 gallon flush to get the PIII down the drain.

  48. Stupid new pc a potty? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Looks kinda like the traning potty I got for my daughter 8-)

    1. Re:Stupid new pc a potty? by Red+Dwarf · · Score: 1

      I agree with this, my first impression, was "it looks like a toilet bowl!!!"

      I wonder if the toilet paper is in option???

    2. Re:Stupid new pc a potty? by tweek · · Score: 1

      Actually you have to pay extra for toiletpaper SE. It's considered a feature not a bug ;)

      --
      "Fighting the underpants gnomes since 1998!" "Bruce Schneier knows the state of schroedinger's cat"
  49. Old news by the_tsi · · Score: 1

    What's up with the repostings lately? This was one of several designs Intel had a few months ago for weird "iMac competitors." My favorite was the one with the centralized CD-ROM that made it look like a radiation symbol.

    -Chris

  50. Keg o' PC by ChunkOChowder · · Score: 1

    Hey, what about a Home Brew System/PC? You could have a program running in the background keeping a constant eye on your beer-to-be. Changing the temp, stirring if it needs it, opening the release valve if it's gonna turn out to be skunk. Someone design of those, and I'll be first in line to buy it.

    --
    Make it idiot-proof and someone will build a better idiot.
  51. Re:FIRST or close to it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    you should do what I did. post it short and sweet, then followup with proper opinions.

    saying something like 'probably close to it' is really lame.

    Xah
    xah@best.com
    http://www.best.com/~xah/PageTwo_dir/more.html

  52. Re:kewl d00d by LPG · · Score: 1

    Uhh, why do you even bother posting here...getta job, a life, but at least try not to act so lame. If you think Linux is the crackers OS, I am sorry that you feel that way. It is a large misconception derived from the code "Hackers" who use it and constantly improve it. Now just in case you didn't know, a hacker does not break into systems and usually doesn't do anything illegal at all (OK so we exceed the speed limits ever once and a while), but you apparently are in the wrong place. Search yahoo for crackers and you can find the rest of your script kiddy buddies. and Uhhh later D00D

    --
    The NU Linux guy.
  53. I'm surprised no one pointed this out yet. by billn · · Score: 1

    Where is the power cord?

    --
    - billn
    1. Re:I'm surprised no one pointed this out yet. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It is powered by a 184 lb battery in the base of the ottoman yielding an astonishing 247 hours of battery life!

  54. Sweet Jesus and Mary Chain! by cwhicks · · Score: 1

    Damn, ...I mean ... Good God,... that is ugly! Where to begin? It has succeeded in failing at least two functions, possibly many more. I next suggest a lawn mowing chest of drawers, and a tv trash compactor.
    I think I saw this thing in a book of cold war KGB equipment.

    --
    - I like pudding.
  55. That's nothing by mischief · · Score: 1
    What's really bad is this:

    http://www.barbiepc.com/

    Scary. It says it uses a "Intel® Flex ATX Mini Tower with 4 USB ports & 1 Serial port," so maybe Intel have a whole range of disgusting new designs for us.

    --

    --
    Everything I know in life I learnt from .sigs
    1. Re:That's nothing by laetus · · Score: 1

      What's even scarier is that you knew about it!

      --

      "We're sorry, but the website you're trying to reach has been disconnected."
    2. Re:That's nothing by Enoch+Root · · Score: 1
      Hey, the Barbie PC ain't that ugly... I mean, I'd rather die than be caught using it, but for a young girl, it looks sombre enough not to make you go into diabetic shock every time you see it. It's an OK computer design with flower prints on it. It's not like adolescent girls won't cover it with stickers anyway.

      "There is no surer way to ruin a good discussion than to contaminate it with the facts."

  56. Toilet PC by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    the first thing I thought about was that it was a toilet, (or a privy, more specifically). It's so funny that this kind of thing gets designed, and none of the creators notice it. Just made my day...

  57. Re:Ottoman PC (uhh) by mixmasta · · Score: 1

    good riddance, gimme usb and cardbus, thats all I want. And I do know how to use a pc.

    --
    #6495ED - cornflower blue
  58. House-training your friends... by Paul+Crowley · · Score: 2

    isn't always as easy as you might hope, if this is anything to go by.
    --

  59. At least it's original... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...and not another iMac clone...

  60. Stress Factor by doomy · · Score: 1

    This looks more like a stool.. so how much weight can it take? Would it crash when an average Nerd sits on top of it?
    --

    --
    ...free your source and the rest would follow...
  61. Beuwolf'd = �? by SyscoKid · · Score: 1

    If you beuwolf'd these, would you end up with a bed?.... A nice warm bed that runs seti@home. =>

    --

    -Ellis of Geeknews.com

  62. Tres interresant by Boolean · · Score: 1

    I actually think this computer looks really cool and wouldn't mind having one (well, switch the PIII to a K7). I think for apartments and the like it would be ideal. The only problem I saw was this:
    I saw the pictures of this footstool / computer hybrid, and at the bottom four prongs were sticking out of it. Now, if you were so cramped that you actually NEEDED one of these instead of a normal computer, would you have room for a table to put it on, or would you just let the prongs stick into your lap?
    Also, how heavy is it? And how much do one of these things COST? Rediculous when you get down to it.
    Cool concept, bad idea.

    --

    If you think you know what the hell is going on you're probably full of shit. -- Robert Anton Wilson
    jdube is who
  63. Re:Wow... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    I've got to agree. The thing is ugly. You've also hit the nail right on the head.

    Apple has created an attractive computer that still looks like a computer. For example, you don't see other consumer good hiding out in furniture. I doubt anyone on earth wants a microwave in their armchair.

    To continue the calculator example (which I also found a little weird, but relevant), calculators have become commodity items, as computers are becoming, but, though calculators are more visually pleasing than they once were, they still look like calculators.

    For whatever reason, Intel doesn't understand that to sell a good looking consumer computer, it still has to be recognizable as a computer. That's why you don't see irons looking like shoes or toasters looking like dressers.

    Jason

  64. NOT creative by Shotgun · · Score: 1

    A lot of people (especially SOZO) are trying to call this 'creative'. Everyone, listen closely. I'll only say this however many times necessary to get the point across.

    Different != Creative;

    If I pile up some mud and stick a motherboard and other assorted computer parts into it, I have not been creative. I've been silly and (if the parts were any good) wasteful. But I've not made anything that anyone would want.

    Now, if they had nixed the display and keyboard, they might have a useful idea. I'd like a nice footrest under my desk. Put a bass speaker in the back and you'd have everthing that I currently have under my desk, but in a much more pleasing setup. THAT would be something new and useful.

    Note to all PC designers everywhere: Quit trying to put the PC into things that I use for vegetating. Working with computers is an active pursuit. When I choose to vegetate, I am choosing to be passive. You can't passively cruise the web. The web is something you have to interact with. So just stop trying to put a PC in my TV room!!

    --
    Aah, change is good. -- Rafiki
    Yeah, but it ain't easy. -- Simba
  65. Those Bozo^H^H^H^HSozo designers should... by Markee · · Score: 1
    ...be condemned to use the things they design. (As a matter of fact, every designer should.)


    Designing a computer that you have to operate at the height of your knees, without space to put your legs to, is so damn stupid that they deserve to be sued by the first guy who was dumb enough to buy this and

    a) tripped over the power chord and either broke his neck, or the computer, or both, or

    b) damaged his spine while trying to look at he wheather report on Yahoo, or

    c) mistook it for a loo while drunk and toasted his willy while peeing into it.



    Truly unbelievable. I assume it's these Sozo guys that designed the Pentium casings -- who else would be able to render a business card sized piece of silicon about as handy as a brick...

    --
    Yes, you are right there. -- Another glass of champagne?
  66. Large staplers, ski-boots, ceiling fans ... by timothy · · Score: 2

    An AC wrote "Why stop there?" and pointed out that Intel still hasn't explored *all* of the possibilities for stuffing PCs into household objects. True enough.

    A few more places for them to start squashing them:
    -Trashcans
    - halloween costumes
    - fake fireplaces
    - pillows,
    - cupboards,
    - pie safes,
    - andirons
    - headboards

    ... I mean, boy, Intel, aren't you worried that your household object computers aren't stupid enough yet?

    I saw a talk given at the U Texas art school (through the dept. of design by a guy from RISD) a few years ago. The guy reminded me of the Design (yes, big D, because we're talking High Art) equivalent of Quentin Tarantino. And you like Tarantino's personality, imagine for a moment that you are annoyed by it instead.

    One of the designs he showed had me laughing to the annoyance of those around me - it was a DESK that was also a computer, and the hard drive was in ONE OF THE LEGS OF THE DESK!

    To what end? To what end?!

    The word "contrived" comes to mind. Wby don't we start to see some cars, say, that look like ... I dunno, toasters, instead of cars? How innovative that would be, eh? I'm not saying all cars should look alike or their evolution has finished, or even that I don't like radical new designs. But *any* designs should match the function of the device - house, appliance, whatever.

    That's my rant.

    timothy

    --
    jrnl: http://tinyurl.com/c2l8yr / foes: http://tinyurl.com/ckjno5
    1. Re:Large staplers, ski-boots, ceiling fans ... by cthonious · · Score: 1
      I saw a talk given at the U Texas art school (through the dept. of design by a guy from RISD) a few years ago. The guy reminded me of the Design (yes, big D, because we're talking High Art) equivalent of Quentin Tarantino. And you like Tarantino's personality, imagine for a moment that you are annoyed by it instead.

      Tarantino is about the biggest piece of shit to hit the film industry since Golan & Globus. What a vacuuous moron. Who talks about art and Tarantino in the same breath? Tacky, gory, ultra-violent and totally without intellect. I can only hope that his one big film-orgasm (pulp fiction) was his last spurt on the public's faces.

      --

      support gun control: take guns from cops
    2. Re:Large staplers, ski-boots, ceiling fans ... by timothy · · Score: 2
      cthonious wrote:

      Tarantino is about the biggest piece of shit to hit the film industry since Golan & Globus. What a vacuuous moron. Who talks about art and Tarantino in the same breath? Tacky, gory, ultra-violent and totally without intellect.


      Agreed.

      I also saw him (Tarantino) speak at the Texas Union Theatre, just after the premiere of Plop Fiction. I got there late (didn't know that jerk would be usurping my viewing of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I'd never heard of him, much to the haughty dismay of the people I asked "Who is this guy?" It was standing room only, and the thing I thought was most representative of Tarantino was his lame \attempts to explain to a black member of the audience his frequent use of the word "nigger." Oh, he's a gritty, streetwise one, that Quentin.

      More like a lame-oh. I eventually did see P.Fiction, but boy was I sick to my stomach. Yes, it's slick and well-produced, but casual violence (to audience laughter) is not my idea of a good time. Violence? Sure, that happens -- but context and presentation mean a lot, and I didn't like his.

      That's what I meant when I compared QT to the silly computer/desk RISD guy.Hipper-than-thou, but without real substance. Sheesh.

      Glad that one other human on the planet shares my view of Tarantino, but I think you're too late with the hope that PF would be the last of this films. There have been sereral he's done / worked on since then.

      timothy
      --
      jrnl: http://tinyurl.com/c2l8yr / foes: http://tinyurl.com/ckjno5
    3. Re:Large staplers, ski-boots, ceiling fans ... by cthonious · · Score: 1
      we're not the only ones ... there's a pretty good essay in this book about his worthlessness. It's also an excellent read otherwise. Pick it up!

      Well, I know he's made films since PF, but he's largely been shooting blanks since then. I was just hoping he doesn't come out with another pulp fiction. It hurts to see geniuses like David Lynch go unoticed and scorned and idiot posers like QT get recognition.

      --

      support gun control: take guns from cops
  67. Re:Drugs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You would have to be on crack to belive that you actually need a floppy in this day in age. Or maybe Windows still requires them for emergency booting, etc. On the Mac, you can boot and run the whole OS off the damn CD!

  68. Pentium in Taco's sofa by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This once and for all proves it that TacoBrain is a hopeless retard. Of all the cool technology he could have wished for to power his sofa, he chose a Pentium.

  69. Re:kewl d00d by doomy · · Score: 1

    People do write sarcastic comments here. The one up this thread is a bit hilarious if I may say so.
    --

    --
    ...free your source and the rest would follow...
  70. Troubles! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    No mom! That's not a chair! That's my computer! Argh!

  71. CPU heat? by kootch · · Score: 1

    what if there's a problem with a heat sync or CPU fan and the thing heats up... then you have the inside of your furniture on fire or melting... imagine the stench... melting rubber, plastic, cotton, and poly-resin fibers. yummy (and probably toxic).

    yea, computer furniture, brilliant idea from the intel department...next we'll have edible monitors.

  72. Re:Drugs by Knightmare · · Score: 1

    I don't really see the need for a floppy drive in a computer these days.. you have zip drives, cd-rom drives, jazz, etc.... why floppy? Any decent hardware can boot off of a zip or cd-rom why even waste your time with such a small storage format?

  73. It's not so bad... by Joe_NoOne · · Score: 1

    No, be fair people. Yea, it looks goofy (so does Apple's i-products). If you think of a house that's networked together, instead of sticking your server in a closet, you could have it in your living room and be able to check it at will. From a lot of postings, most people failed to notice that the keyboard is WIRELESS so it's not like you have to sit on the floor next to it to use it.. But think of having your main server (RUNNING LINUX!!) in your living room and durring commercials check your server. Not so bad..

    SGI started the whole "make-computers-astheticly-pleasing" concept, and having worked in an SGI shop I must say that while they look cool, they still take up useful space. There's only so many "artwork" computers you can put in a room -- why not make it into something useable? I mean if you've ever had to deal with fitting many "deskside" computers (SGI's terminology) in a server closet, you kinda get the idea.

    And for someone who want his own personal LAN in their own small apartment, this works. While it takes up space it also becomes somthing useable:q
    . As to the cables, just tie them all together. Most apartments have terrible layouts of power outlets, so you're tripping over cords anyways.

    Although I will grant you, it does look like those portable toilets for camping......

  74. Ergonomics? by werwerf · · Score: 1
    Have Intel ever heard the word "ergonomics" or do they know what does it mean?

    God! This crap is unusable!

    Apple at least spends money testing that the design can be used without the user having to go to the chyropractic!

  75. Hideous? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    There are a lot of hideous things in this world, but the iBook is not one of them. You might think it's not attractive, but it's not hideous. I like it.

    1. Re:Hideous? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Barbie has a little iBook that she keeps her makeup in for when she goes out on dates with Ken. It isn't in the stores yet, but watch for the Christmas rush on it.

  76. Re:mod the post up! by My_Favorite_Anonymou · · Score: 1

    hilarious!

    CY

  77. Not ugly! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It's not ugly, it just doesn't look like a computer. And it doesn't look like a good shape for a computer. I don't see how it's ugly at all.

  78. Eeeeeew by mholve · · Score: 1

    That thing is funk nasty.

  79. Remember the bunnypeople! by Enoch+Root · · Score: 1
    Hey, at least they didn't have the bunnypeople dancing around the computer in pastel radioactivity protection jumpsuits this time!

    I still think it's prettier than the half-melted-plastic-case-with-cards-poking-out-in- celluloid-alien-cocoons-complete-with-sl ime-feel design!

    Can't they just build computers like they'd build a car? Don't drown the functionalities in the design, and don't give it a sombre design just because it's practical. Do a good job, then put a nice, curvy and colourful exterior.

    If Intel didn't try so damn hard to come up with something original, they might actually come up with something that's aesthetically pleasing for once.

    People! Don't have fashion designers design your PC cases! They know ergonomics as much as they know comfort!

    "There is no surer way to ruin a good discussion than to contaminate it with the facts."

  80. Those are cool by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I really do think those are the coolest PC cases I've seen. I'd buy one in a second, except that I want an Athalon.

  81. Ottoman PC (uhh) by Microlith · · Score: 1

    That thing deserved to be kicked. I mean, when these stylized PCs come out they have this irritating habit of becoming popular. When things like this become popular, it gives Intel reason to follow their roadmap of eventually eliminating all user accessable ports (!). Read their PC roadmap. They plan to elminate the legacy buses (serial, lpt), then get rid of ISA, then PCI, then AGP. And this only gives them incentive. I swear, unless people want to actually LEARN how to use a PC, they shouldn't buy one. Cheap, disposable, and irrelevant is NOT what PCs should become.

    1. Re:Ottoman PC (uhh) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yes, but can you twirl a phillips screwdriver handily and with finesse, as Microlith shows pride in doing?

      Clue: if it doesn't involve a soldering iron or a wire wrap gun it isn't homebuilt. It's home assembled.

  82. what is this peice of crap? by Sp@mMan · · Score: 1

    Is it JUST me, or should this PC be called "Get Carpel Tunnel Syndrome Here" (spelling probably wrong). Look at that thick keyboard area, no way you could type without have your hands draped over. Am I the only one, that wants the PC to stay on the desktop, and stop trying to intergrate into my daily life? I don't need to surf the web while I'm taking a crap, or watching TV, I watch TV WHILE I'm at my desk by my computer....weird...

    --

    1. Re:what is this peice of crap? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well, Compaq has switched from saying:

      To reduce risk of serious injury to hands, wrists or other joints, read Safety and Comfort Guide

      to saying:

      Warning: Some experts believe that use of any keyboard may cause serious injury. Consult Users Guide

      It gets printed right on the keyboards these days. So it seems that it's become another warning like the warning on cigarettes that we're supposed to ignore.

  83. Toasty. by G-Man · · Score: 1

    Well, considering how hot the PIII runs, you could use it to keep your ass warm on a cold night. Might as well do something with that waste heat.

    This opens up a whole realm of dual-use technology. How about a PIII bug zapper? Nothin' like firing up the machine for a little Q3 on a warm summer night -- gib'in and crispin' at the same time...yeehaw! ;)

    1. Re:Toasty. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The Pentium III runs unusually hot?

      Or are you just whistfully reading your old MacUser magazines and wishing again for the old days?

  84. PC for scat fetishists? by ikekrull · · Score: 1

    my god, this thing fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down...

    (i forget which movie that came from)

    --
    I gots ta ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long
  85. Wow... by zhobson · · Score: 1
    That is one of the ugliest things I've ever seen.

    I'll admit that I find the iMacs to be cute, attractive little machines. However, every single "concept" design I've seen from Intel is unrepentantly ugly. Does anyone else get the feeling they're trying too hard? I mean, at least you can tell that the iMac is a computer. Why do I want a PC that looks like a footrest?

    Even funnier is the article. Somehow, the author thinks that the spread of ubiquitous PCs will somehow commoditize it to the point that nobody will care about them, a la the hand calculator. What a load of crap. Why don't we get excited about hand calculators anymore? Because we have computers! And we buy them from the same folks who used to make those old hand calculators!

    Sowing the seeds of their own destruction indeed. Sheesh. Somebody's been reading Overdramatic Punditry for Dummmies.

    -zack

    1. Re:Wow... by Jburkholder · · Score: 2

      >For whatever reason, Intel doesn't understand that to sell a good looking consumer computer, it still has to be recognizable as a computer.

      <sarcasm>c'mon! I'm sure they know far better than any of us *exactly* how good looking consumer computers have to look nothing like traditional computers! After all, they spent $millions on consumer focus groups and marketing consultants to come to this conclusion!</sarcasm>

      Yeah, their customer focus demographic was effeminate cappucino junkies, coincidentally the same compositionas the marketing consultancy staff.

    2. Re:Wow... by My_Favorite_Anonymou · · Score: 1

      Check out Sony Vaio 505F.

      I don't care if PPC chip so much better than intel on portable pc, apple will never make a portable as light (2pound) and as small as the libretto, so what's the point. Maybe IBM can do something about it.

      CY

    3. Re:Wow... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What the hell is wrong with the hundreds of PC makers? So many of them, yet all of them are outdone in case design by Apple, a poor little company which they don't even directly compete with. They just make crap like computers you can rest your feet on. My favorite quote: "Redecorating your den? No problem. "Ottoman" can transform its looks with a simple change of a slip cover." Fucking revolutionary, man.

  86. "I have seen the future of the PC and it is a"... by Chris+Johnson · · Score: 2

    "...toilet."
    Words _fail_ me o_O
    Short Intel, now!

  87. They could apply a sticker that says "Shit Inside" by Shenandoah · · Score: 1

    At least it would be honest.

  88. Ugly as Death by arivanov · · Score: 1

    See subj:

    --
    Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it
    http://www.sigsegv.cx/
  89. You need news friends... by jonr · · Score: 1

    ...or at least house-train them!
    :)

  90. Coincidence by Jonathan · · Score: 1

    There's an article about a user group in Turkey and and article about this Ottoman PC on the very same day.

  91. Re:But its even a BAD ottoman by angelo · · Score: 1

    Not to mention tripped on, pushed around, and SAT ON! oi, I'd hate to lose sectors to my two left feet.

  92. Re:Drugs by angelo · · Score: 1

    For all those "why do you need a floppy" people: he was saying "what will intel make next, the iMAC?"

    perhaps sarcasm tags are necessary.

  93. New fodder for The View by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Next thing you know, my wife will be complaining I didn't put the lid down on the computer and that I missed the keyboard and typed on the floor ;)

  94. The other posters... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    were aware of this. Hence why they replied defending Apple's decisions. The original post really borders on being flame bait. The iMac is nothing compared to this (and other) designs Intel and other case mnaufacturers have been creating. All Apple did was make the design smoother and more colorful (yes, Apple had a line of computers with the monitor and motherboard/hardware in one prior to the iMac, the iMac was basically the same thing, just more visiually appealing (to some)), these other people are trying to make them look like something completly different (like one I've seen was a pyramid...wtf?)

  95. Re:Already have one of these... by grrlfox · · Score: 1

    Flying toasters?

    Oh wait, that's been done...

    --
    I'm not feeling that clever this morning.
  96. Those who do not remember .history ... by jzitt · · Score: 1

    Ah, so now we can look forward to the fall of the Ottoman Empire?

  97. Re:quote by Bill+Currie · · Score: 1

    It's from `Saving Private Ryan', when pvt Ryan is telling [Hanks] about his brothers.

    --

    Bill - aka taniwha
    --
    Leave others their otherness. -- Aratak

  98. But its even a BAD ottoman by victim · · Score: 2
    Halfway through the article it notes that it got kicked and the harddrive came loose.

    Note to design team:Ottomans will come into contact with feet. :-)

  99. Why stop here? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    There's a veritable corny-copia of consumer item morphologies one might stuff a pee cee into:

    Roto-rooter
    Chatty Cathy
    Hot Pockets
    Ceramic bulldog umbrella stand
    Lawn Jockey
    Chia Pet

    Ottoman, my ass. These microcephalics at sozo are bereft of imagination.

  100. cool! but does it run linux? by Giant+Robot · · Score: 1

    Maybe the built in video camera works with the PIII chip serial identification number!

    (oops, almost forgot the comment about the be0wulf thingy...)

  101. PC No!! Beer Cooler Yes!! by Filter · · Score: 1

    What if we like, put a beer cooler in the ottoman, that would be cool, eh?


    --

    "better ways of doing things eventually just replace the inferior things" - Linus Torvalds 09-08-07

  102. Re:quote by ikekrull · · Score: 1

    Ah yes so it is...

    i remember now :)

    Jeez, just imagine how much better WW2 would have been for the allied soldiers with one of these Ottoman-Toilet PCs...

    I mean, they could have emailed for backup and still had somewhere comfy to sit while they waited for the german tanks to roll in.


    --
    I gots ta ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long
  103. Re:FIRST or close to it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Perhaps if they weren't so stupid to type that tripe in the first pla... Nahhh, that takes a mere 75 IQ... T....o......o...... M.....u....c.....h t....h....o....u......g.....h......t. Brain hurt now. I fix with hammer. MC Hammer.

  104. Re:Drugs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I can boot the Windows NT 4.0 CD on my machine and install the OS without needing a floppy disk. I still like having the diskette drive, because when I burn a bootable Slackware CD I still have to use the root diskette.

    And I'll admit that I found the whiney sound that the dinkyscreen Macintoshes made while ejecting a diskette so repulsive that I hope to never see another floppy on a Mac. But then I'd just as soon never see another Mac.

  105. Re:Already have one of these... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Jefferson Airplane.

    Later stolen by whatever that crappy screensaver company was called (I remember their name, but am gonna not give them the credit of mentioning it)

  106. Re:kewl d00d by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Umm, a doy doy doy. b'doing.

    I think you were just trolled there, dude.

    *snort* *wheeze*

  107. A fully functioning Ottoman by slambo · · Score: 1
    -----quote-----
    ... encased in a beautiful piece of furniture, a fully functional "Ottoman".
    -----endquote-----
    Ya know, you don't need something this expensive to have a fully functional Ottoman

    Da. Am orderink milk crates now.

  108. Dare I say by scohrs · · Score: 1


    I agree... That's the Shizznit!!!! Being as close to lazy as possible is always good.

  109. Lame. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    'nuff said.

  110. Stupid Question by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Aren't people going to sit on an ottoman if you run out of comfy seats? Isn't the LCD in a dangerous place (smashy, smashy)?

  111. Johnson Desktop Kilowatt by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    In the 1950's there was a really cool ham radio trasmitter you could buy. It looked like an end table, but inside was 1 Kilowatt AM trasmitter. Key-up that baby and it took out the picture on every TV set in the neighborhood. What goes round comes round.

  112. Drugs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    These guys at Intel are taking way too much acid. What's next, a clear plastic jobbie with no floppy drive?

  113. Already have one of these... by wilkinsm · · Score: 1

    Someone finally wised up on PC's become after they have been around a few years. I already have enough footstools and doorstops, why not make the new ones toasters instead?

    System Halted

  114. kewl d00d by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    this is like so kewl!!! i wanna get one and put my punters on it to nuke ppl!!!!! it wood rule ppl!! i could put it up in my treehouse and stuff!!!! may be even put the OS made by crakers........linux!!!! my dad wont let me put linux on to this comp he says it has virusses stuffed into the files!!! i want my own comp to nuke on!!!!! z3r0kewl453@aol.com mail me for some plz!!!!!