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The Ottoman PC
R3 writes "Looks like Intel is trying to come up with some sort of iMac-like PC - "for home" and this is the best they could some up with is the
Ottoman PC. " Here are some more pictures . The sad thing is that I think its cool. I'd like a PIII in the arm of my sofa too
please.
Aren't these the people that designed the AZTEC prototype for intel? Multicolored, and a lot more aesthetically pleasing, I could see someone wanting one of those around...
So the iMac is just a rehash of the old Apple II and PS/1 computers.
The keyboard is wireless.
And the iMac and G3 towers aren't ugly. Yeah right. SGIs look good. This looks different. The iBook is neat, but don't try to say the iMac is cool looking.
It's a cool idea, but honestly, do you really want to use a keyboard that's a foot off the ground? I think I'd have to pick the thing up and put it in my lap to use it.
/* The beatings will continue until morale improves. */
The keyboard comes out, it wireless. The Registry had some pics of the keyboard removed.
Effeminate maybe, but not actual, say, housekeepers... who would have known that 1) furniture gets kicked around, and 2) things kept under flip-top lids are counterproductive because there's always stuff piled on top of the lid.
I'm planning to build a livingroom computer based on a dictionary or music stand - close old analogies to the two computer problems: heavy things you need to adjust in 3 angles, and see with your hands full.
This saying is actually FAR, far older - dunno how old, but damn old...
Reason is the Path to God - Anon
Just kidding, wasn't aztec, was Ziba Design...much better in my opinion, here's a PC Mag article with a pic of it...droolish http://www.zdnet.com.au/pcm/features/9811/t981111a .html
10) "Uh, I just had a rather large movement and I can't flush the Ottoman."
9) "Where do I put my feet when I'm using my footrest?"
8) "You mean I have to plug my footstool IN?"
7) "I put my Pop-Tarts in there 5 minutes ago and they're still not ready.
6) "What do you mean I can't kick my footstool?"
5) "I can only fit one beer into my 5X Drink Vender Drive"
4) "I'm sitting on the stool and typing with the keyboard, but I can't see what I'm typing."
3) "There's something loose in my stool."
2) "The sofa-bed crashed while grandma was sleeping, and now we can't get her out."
1) "Will tough actin' Tinactin clean all my viruses?"
Linux - Because Mommy taught me to Share.
just what i need, spend a couple thousand dollars on a computer and one of my friends comes over and pees on the thing...
---- There is a fine line between sayings that make sense.
hee hee.. yeah, you're right!
but, to me, it also looks like, once folded, it would serve as a nice footstool.... now, for that sofa (I've got plenty of books to sit back and read....)
Insert mind here.
True. Imagine what you could do with an 11 port USB hub....
.. and it looks like a waffle maker.
"Waffle Inside"
G3/400: 4-7 watts G4/450: 5-8 watts PIII/600: 34.5 watts Well, I suppose it's not unusually hot for Intel.
And Dvorak said the iBook looks like a toilet seat.
Has anybody else noticed the strange (but not surprising) resemblance that Intel's Ottoman PC has to a Port-a-Pottie (or more properly, a Port-a-Sans)? Not only in it's shape and fold-up lid, oops... i mean monitor, but the fake leopard-skin top design, much like a toilet cover. Hmmm... Maybe Coleman is going to sue...
"You can kill the dreamer but you cannot kill the dream"
I'll stick with my standard looking PCs with their cheap parts.
-- $SIGNATURE
you'll never see me with one of them.
I can just see the kids fighting over it: "I wanna sit on it", "No!, I wanna play doom/quake/maelstrom".
Bill - aka taniwha
--
Leave others their otherness. -- Aratak
So, can we get a widescreen LCD display on a coffee table to go with that?
Speaking of concept computers, this still beats anything Intel has come up (of course, Intel Inside could bring new meaning to that concept....)
BTW, didn't Intel come up with an Aztec-like pyramid-looking computer some time ago? I was digging around for it yesteday and couldn't find it.
Jeez. It looks impractical to use. How do I sit in front of this thing and comfortably type? Where do I use the mouse? If the keyboard comes out (didn't see it) is it wireless? If not there's a tangled mess like phone cords.
It seems very impractical for use but excellent to hide from thieves or gamers. Pray your visitor doesn't sit on it!
everyone's saying it's a toilet, but really, the more i look at it, the more i disagree:
i think it looks like a waffle iron.
actually what it _really_ looks like is "George Foreman's Lean Mean Grilling Machine". If you've ever seen one of those, then the ottoman pc looks _exactly_ like that. only thicker.
either way i think we should praise intel for coming up with their own slightly scary "creative" design instead of stealing apple's slightly scary "creative" design. Although it looks like it takes after the imac in one way: a horrible keyboard. except that the keyboard's built in, so if you want an extended or DVORAK one then too bad.. i may be wrong though. i can't really see from that tiny picture. And doesn't it seem like a circular monitor would waste a lot of potential screen space? well, whatever.
Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
SGI missed the boat by not issuing the chrome O2.
My mom had one of those 1950s chrome toasters. I got shocked every time I touched it.
Explains a lot.
Consigned to flames of woe.
I have a snooty magazine of home decor for the tasteless and independently wealthy that features *wooden* monitors. You know, the case is wooden. They come in birch, cherry, oak. Matching keyboards (the keys weren't wood) and mice (just the part under your palm was wood.)
They were actually pretty slick.
And you know, if you have a big old house straight from the early 1900s, a computer sittin' around looks...well...dumb. 'Course, I'd rather have mine disguised as a mahogany Victorian highboy, but that's just me.
Consigned to flames of woe.
- Toilet PC. With PowerSaving mode there is no more having to remember to put the lid down.
- Pillow PC. What are doing wasting 6-8 hours a day sleeping for? Cooling fan will keep you warm on cold winter nights.
- Table top PC. Remember those pacman games in 80s? With integrated cameras you can now sit down to a "family dinner" even if you family is in another city, with volume control for grandma.
- Lawn ornament PC. Realistically modeled to look like a plastic pink flamingo, this PC acts as a security camera and wireless repeater. If you have a big lawn, put lots of flamingos up!
- PC PC. Just when you thought no one used real PCs anymore, this PC is a all in one microchip placed inside a 90s "retro" box. The extra space can be used to store clothing or small pets such as hamsters and gerbils.
-- Virtual Windows Project
Looks like we're one step closer to being able to take a dump and check our email at the same time.
Maybe a dot matrix printer/toilet paper dispenser is in the works?
I found the topic originally on as a topic for an IRC channel. Just as I was complaining about how slow the web server was, I finaly find out why. heh.
For the 20 bytes I can get out of the server, the design looks awful. Just plain awful. Give me a carpenter and I could make something better
'Course this does bring a whole new meaning to the term 'reboot'.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
my parents used to have this battery powered ash-trasy that sucked in the smoke from their cigarettes. It looked suspiciously like this thing, only a lot smaller.
I'm sure this thing, give the larger size, will suck a lot more.
-- What you do today will cost you a day of your life.
HEY! Intel is NOT inside this thing!!!!!
--
People said the iBook looked like a toilet seat. Well this one is an entire toilet. Sorry Apple, you lose again.
I mean, the thing not only looks like shit, but it looks like somewhere you'd take a shit. Nice work Intel, I hope it has the full 3 gallon flush to get the PIII down the drain.
I agree with this, my first impression, was "it looks like a toilet bowl!!!"
I wonder if the toilet paper is in option???
What's up with the repostings lately? This was one of several designs Intel had a few months ago for weird "iMac competitors." My favorite was the one with the centralized CD-ROM that made it look like a radiation symbol.
-Chris
Hey, what about a Home Brew System/PC? You could have a program running in the background keeping a constant eye on your beer-to-be. Changing the temp, stirring if it needs it, opening the release valve if it's gonna turn out to be skunk. Someone design of those, and I'll be first in line to buy it.
Make it idiot-proof and someone will build a better idiot.
Uhh, why do you even bother posting here...getta job, a life, but at least try not to act so lame. If you think Linux is the crackers OS, I am sorry that you feel that way. It is a large misconception derived from the code "Hackers" who use it and constantly improve it. Now just in case you didn't know, a hacker does not break into systems and usually doesn't do anything illegal at all (OK so we exceed the speed limits ever once and a while), but you apparently are in the wrong place. Search yahoo for crackers and you can find the rest of your script kiddy buddies. and Uhhh later D00D
The NU Linux guy.
Where is the power cord?
- billn
Damn, ...I mean ... Good God,... that is ugly! Where to begin? It has succeeded in failing at least two functions, possibly many more. I next suggest a lawn mowing chest of drawers, and a tv trash compactor.
I think I saw this thing in a book of cold war KGB equipment.
- I like pudding.
http://www.barbiepc.com/
Scary. It says it uses a "Intel® Flex ATX Mini Tower with 4 USB ports & 1 Serial port," so maybe Intel have a whole range of disgusting new designs for us.
--
Everything I know in life I learnt from
good riddance, gimme usb and cardbus, thats all I want. And I do know how to use a pc.
#6495ED - cornflower blue
isn't always as easy as you might hope, if this is anything to go by.
--
Xenu loves you!
This looks more like a stool.. so how much weight can it take? Would it crash when an average Nerd sits on top of it?
--
If you beuwolf'd these, would you end up with a bed?.... A nice warm bed that runs seti@home. =>
-Ellis of Geeknews.com
I actually think this computer looks really cool and wouldn't mind having one (well, switch the PIII to a K7). I think for apartments and the like it would be ideal. The only problem I saw was this:
I saw the pictures of this footstool / computer hybrid, and at the bottom four prongs were sticking out of it. Now, if you were so cramped that you actually NEEDED one of these instead of a normal computer, would you have room for a table to put it on, or would you just let the prongs stick into your lap?
Also, how heavy is it? And how much do one of these things COST? Rediculous when you get down to it.
Cool concept, bad idea.
If you think you know what the hell is going on you're probably full of shit. -- Robert Anton Wilson
jdube is who
A lot of people (especially SOZO) are trying to call this 'creative'. Everyone, listen closely. I'll only say this however many times necessary to get the point across.
Different != Creative;
If I pile up some mud and stick a motherboard and other assorted computer parts into it, I have not been creative. I've been silly and (if the parts were any good) wasteful. But I've not made anything that anyone would want.
Now, if they had nixed the display and keyboard, they might have a useful idea. I'd like a nice footrest under my desk. Put a bass speaker in the back and you'd have everthing that I currently have under my desk, but in a much more pleasing setup. THAT would be something new and useful.
Note to all PC designers everywhere: Quit trying to put the PC into things that I use for vegetating. Working with computers is an active pursuit. When I choose to vegetate, I am choosing to be passive. You can't passively cruise the web. The web is something you have to interact with. So just stop trying to put a PC in my TV room!!
Aah, change is good. -- Rafiki
Yeah, but it ain't easy. -- Simba
Designing a computer that you have to operate at the height of your knees, without space to put your legs to, is so damn stupid that they deserve to be sued by the first guy who was dumb enough to buy this and
a) tripped over the power chord and either broke his neck, or the computer, or both, or
b) damaged his spine while trying to look at he wheather report on Yahoo, or
c) mistook it for a loo while drunk and toasted his willy while peeing into it.
Truly unbelievable. I assume it's these Sozo guys that designed the Pentium casings -- who else would be able to render a business card sized piece of silicon about as handy as a brick...
Yes, you are right there. -- Another glass of champagne?
An AC wrote "Why stop there?" and pointed out that Intel still hasn't explored *all* of the possibilities for stuffing PCs into household objects. True enough.
... I dunno, toasters, instead of cars? How innovative that would be, eh? I'm not saying all cars should look alike or their evolution has finished, or even that I don't like radical new designs. But *any* designs should match the function of the device - house, appliance, whatever.
A few more places for them to start squashing them:
-Trashcans
- halloween costumes
- fake fireplaces
- pillows,
- cupboards,
- pie safes,
- andirons
- headboards
... I mean, boy, Intel, aren't you worried that your household object computers aren't stupid enough yet?
I saw a talk given at the U Texas art school (through the dept. of design by a guy from RISD) a few years ago. The guy reminded me of the Design (yes, big D, because we're talking High Art) equivalent of Quentin Tarantino. And you like Tarantino's personality, imagine for a moment that you are annoyed by it instead.
One of the designs he showed had me laughing to the annoyance of those around me - it was a DESK that was also a computer, and the hard drive was in ONE OF THE LEGS OF THE DESK!
To what end? To what end?!
The word "contrived" comes to mind. Wby don't we start to see some cars, say, that look like
That's my rant.
timothy
jrnl: http://tinyurl.com/c2l8yr / foes: http://tinyurl.com/ckjno5
People do write sarcastic comments here. The one up this thread is a bit hilarious if I may say so.
--
Re: dildo - Actually, it's been done already...well...sort of...:) http://www.ibrator.com/
what if there's a problem with a heat sync or CPU fan and the thing heats up... then you have the inside of your furniture on fire or melting... imagine the stench... melting rubber, plastic, cotton, and poly-resin fibers. yummy (and probably toxic).
yea, computer furniture, brilliant idea from the intel department...next we'll have edible monitors.
I don't really see the need for a floppy drive in a computer these days.. you have zip drives, cd-rom drives, jazz, etc.... why floppy? Any decent hardware can boot off of a zip or cd-rom why even waste your time with such a small storage format?
No, be fair people. Yea, it looks goofy (so does Apple's i-products). If you think of a house that's networked together, instead of sticking your server in a closet, you could have it in your living room and be able to check it at will. From a lot of postings, most people failed to notice that the keyboard is WIRELESS so it's not like you have to sit on the floor next to it to use it.. But think of having your main server (RUNNING LINUX!!) in your living room and durring commercials check your server. Not so bad..
SGI started the whole "make-computers-astheticly-pleasing" concept, and having worked in an SGI shop I must say that while they look cool, they still take up useful space. There's only so many "artwork" computers you can put in a room -- why not make it into something useable? I mean if you've ever had to deal with fitting many "deskside" computers (SGI's terminology) in a server closet, you kinda get the idea.
And for someone who want his own personal LAN in their own small apartment, this works. While it takes up space it also becomes somthing useable:q
. As to the cables, just tie them all together. Most apartments have terrible layouts of power outlets, so you're tripping over cords anyways.
Although I will grant you, it does look like those portable toilets for camping......
God! This crap is unusable!
Apple at least spends money testing that the design can be used without the user having to go to the chyropractic!
Someone already has
www.ibrator.com
hilarious!
CY
That thing is funk nasty.
I still think it's prettier than the half-melted-plastic-case-with-cards-poking-out-in- celluloid-alien-cocoons-complete-with-sl ime-feel design!
Can't they just build computers like they'd build a car? Don't drown the functionalities in the design, and don't give it a sombre design just because it's practical. Do a good job, then put a nice, curvy and colourful exterior.
If Intel didn't try so damn hard to come up with something original, they might actually come up with something that's aesthetically pleasing for once.
People! Don't have fashion designers design your PC cases! They know ergonomics as much as they know comfort!
"There is no surer way to ruin a good discussion than to contaminate it with the facts."
That thing deserved to be kicked. I mean, when these stylized PCs come out they have this irritating habit of becoming popular. When things like this become popular, it gives Intel reason to follow their roadmap of eventually eliminating all user accessable ports (!). Read their PC roadmap. They plan to elminate the legacy buses (serial, lpt), then get rid of ISA, then PCI, then AGP. And this only gives them incentive. I swear, unless people want to actually LEARN how to use a PC, they shouldn't buy one. Cheap, disposable, and irrelevant is NOT what PCs should become.
Is it JUST me, or should this PC be called "Get Carpel Tunnel Syndrome Here" (spelling probably wrong). Look at that thick keyboard area, no way you could type without have your hands draped over. Am I the only one, that wants the PC to stay on the desktop, and stop trying to intergrate into my daily life? I don't need to surf the web while I'm taking a crap, or watching TV, I watch TV WHILE I'm at my desk by my computer....weird...
Well, considering how hot the PIII runs, you could use it to keep your ass warm on a cold night. Might as well do something with that waste heat.
;)
This opens up a whole realm of dual-use technology. How about a PIII bug zapper? Nothin' like firing up the machine for a little Q3 on a warm summer night -- gib'in and crispin' at the same time...yeehaw!
my god, this thing fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down...
(i forget which movie that came from)
I gots ta ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long
I'll admit that I find the iMacs to be cute, attractive little machines. However, every single "concept" design I've seen from Intel is unrepentantly ugly. Does anyone else get the feeling they're trying too hard? I mean, at least you can tell that the iMac is a computer. Why do I want a PC that looks like a footrest?
Even funnier is the article. Somehow, the author thinks that the spread of ubiquitous PCs will somehow commoditize it to the point that nobody will care about them, a la the hand calculator. What a load of crap. Why don't we get excited about hand calculators anymore? Because we have computers! And we buy them from the same folks who used to make those old hand calculators!
Sowing the seeds of their own destruction indeed. Sheesh. Somebody's been reading Overdramatic Punditry for Dummmies.
-zack
"...toilet."
Words _fail_ me o_O
Short Intel, now!
At least it would be honest.
See subj:
Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it
http://www.sigsegv.cx/
...or at least house-train them!
:)
There's an article about a user group in Turkey and and article about this Ottoman PC on the very same day.
Not to mention tripped on, pushed around, and SAT ON! oi, I'd hate to lose sectors to my two left feet.
Lowmag.net
For all those "why do you need a floppy" people: he was saying "what will intel make next, the iMAC?"
perhaps sarcasm tags are necessary.
Lowmag.net
Flying toasters?
Oh wait, that's been done...
I'm not feeling that clever this morning.
Actually you have to pay extra for toiletpaper SE. It's considered a feature not a bug ;)
"Fighting the underpants gnomes since 1998!" "Bruce Schneier knows the state of schroedinger's cat"
Ah, so now we can look forward to the fall of the Ottoman Empire?
It's from `Saving Private Ryan', when pvt Ryan is telling [Hanks] about his brothers.
Bill - aka taniwha
--
Leave others their otherness. -- Aratak
Note to design team:Ottomans will come into contact with feet. :-)
There's a veritable corny-copia of consumer item morphologies one might stuff a pee cee into:
Roto-rooter
Chatty Cathy
Hot Pockets
Ceramic bulldog umbrella stand
Lawn Jockey
Chia Pet
Ottoman, my ass. These microcephalics at sozo are bereft of imagination.
Maybe the built in video camera works with the PIII chip serial identification number!
(oops, almost forgot the comment about the be0wulf thingy...)
What if we like, put a beer cooler in the ottoman, that would be cool, eh?
"better ways of doing things eventually just replace the inferior things" - Linus Torvalds 09-08-07
Ah yes so it is...
:)
i remember now
Jeez, just imagine how much better WW2 would have been for the allied soldiers with one of these Ottoman-Toilet PCs...
I mean, they could have emailed for backup and still had somewhere comfy to sit while they waited for the german tanks to roll in.
I gots ta ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long
it looks like a barbeque
i wanna toss some smokies on it
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Da. Am orderink milk crates now.
I agree... That's the Shizznit!!!! Being as close to lazy as possible is always good.
Someone finally wised up on PC's become after they have been around a few years. I already have enough footstools and doorstops, why not make the new ones toasters instead?
System Halted