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User: DarkHelmet

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  1. Will *definately* get Slashdotted. on Which Screw Goes Where? · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Thank God for my Slashdot subscription. With some of those pictures of the screws running 200k, I know that everything is going to buckle within the first half hour. If that, even.

    Which mades me think about an idea...

    One of these days I'm going to post a story or article, or picture that'll make slashdot's front page. Then, just as the site get slashdotted...

    I'll add porno banner popup hell to it!

    I'm not sure how much money it would end up earning me, but damn, that would be cool to see how Slashdot would react. Would they pull the story? Add an update to it?

    In fact, I think SCO should start having porno popups to help provide money to their warchest if the HTTP_REFERER is from slashdot.org :)

    (P.S: No I probably wouldn't actually go through with something like that, but brainstorming can be fun)

  2. Oh Darn... on Google Cancels Spring IPO · · Score: 4, Funny

    Instead of getting my free advertising stock benefit with google, I think I'll just buy some more Krispy Kreme and get another free box of doughnuts.

  3. Pentium I bug. on Trojan Horse Caused A Siberian Explosion · · Score: 4, Funny
    describing how the Soviets purchased bogus computer chips from the West in the 1970's

    For some reason, I can equally imagine something like this happen from the Pentium I FDIV bug, can't you? :)

  4. Thoughts. on Intel Prescott Released · · Score: 4, Insightful
    In case you don't want to read the article, here you go from Anand:

    If you're looking for nothing more than a purchasing decision let's put it simply: if you're not an overclocker, do not buy any Prescott where there is an equivalently clocked Northwood available. This means that the 2.80E, 3.00E, 3.20E are all off-limits, you will end up with a CPU that is no faster than a Northwood and in most cases slower.

    I figured as much before the NDA was lifted. After all, with a 31 stage pipeline, the Prescott was bound to be clock for clock slower than it's previous incarnations.

    This only makes me wonder. If a 4ghz Prescott is going to be much like a 3ghz Northwood, is AMD going to adjust its PR Rating to the new cores that Intel has? This will only end up confusing things, as a newly rated A64-3400 will be faster than a "Higher numbered" intel version.

    Great... Just what we need. More PR confusion.

  5. Skynet and Mars on James Cameron's Illustrated Mars Reference Design · · Score: 4, Funny
    It's not clear where Skynet and the T-800's hyper-alloy combat chassis fit in yet.

    What part of Arnold going to Mars do you not understand?

    I personally don't mind him going to Mars, just as long as This Terminator stays and becomes my personal bed buddy.

    Of course, since I browse Slashdot, that's never going to happen. Thank you OSDN! You've ruined not only my life, but my odds of scoring with her.

  6. analogy on Microsoft's Mac Business Unit · · Score: 4, Funny
    The best analogy I can come up with is...

    Microsoft's muscular Herculean right arm has no idea what its tiny, flubbering nub of a left hand is doing.

    Now imagining this congealing beast of a company with the head of Steve Ballmer gives me an interesting image. Kind of like the Trapper Keeper blob from South Park.

  7. Re:OSDN Personals on The 101 Dumbest Moments in Business · · Score: 1
    Maybe if the code was open source... *cough cough*.

    Hmmm, I wonder if anyone around here is willing to open their source for Slashdot to use.

    *looks down at signature*

  8. Hah! on Microsoft Advises to Type in URLs Rather than Click · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have a suggestion that's not in the Knowledge Base: don't use IE!

    Yeah, and I have a solution to prevent malicious programs like IE from running that's not in the Knowledge Base...

    Install Linux.

    I hear you can buy a copy of it for around $600 somewhere.

  9. Ugh. on Warspying in San Francisco · · Score: 4, Funny
    It's stories like this that make me never want to go naked on webcam ever ever again.

    Not that you slashdotters would want to know such a thing.

  10. Re:Master Builder? No way! on LEGO Competition Selects Three New Master Builders · · Score: 2, Funny
    Nope, wrong! The Nathan Sawaya that built the Star Wars figurines is a clone that is working in my basement for scraps of food and rags for clothing. I will release him once his large scale death star becomes operational.

    The lego builder in LegoLand is a genetically engineered replica placed by Vorgoxians in order to win the Lego Tournament. They're not very happy about there being three winners, so expect the other two to be assassinated shortly.

    The *real* Nathan Sawaya is in a government research center trapped in carbonite. Pretty ironic huh? Maybe Harrison Ford will go rescue him.

  11. Re:Master Builder? No way! on LEGO Competition Selects Three New Master Builders · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'd go outside, but the green green grass, the fresh air, and the pretty scenery will only remind me of SW: Episode 2.

    And I don't want to be reminded of Episode 2.

  12. Master Builder? No way! on LEGO Competition Selects Three New Master Builders · · Score: 4, Funny

    Klein, 28 ... built an octopus' aquatic garden. Sawaya ... built a model of two men sitting opposite each other cutting a log in half with a long, two-handled saw.

    Master builders my ass!

    Real Men build lego figurines of Han Solo in Carbonite. They build miniature Death Stars with friggin' lasers on them! Not octopus aquatic gardens.

    "I'm a master model builder," he said breathlessly into her ear.

    And hear the cries of thousands of losing Lego Master contestants, who cried out and then were suddenly silenced... by my backhand.

  13. Actual Cost of a Virus / SCO on What's The Actual Cost of A Virus? · · Score: 5, Funny

    Let's see...

    The cost of securing your mail server from viruses includes...

    1. Download of Antivirus for sendmail
    2. Installation of said program. (Which is about a day if you factor in moron-ness)
    3. Keep new viruses in check.
    4. The cost of 400 yellow post-it notes saying "DO NOT OPEN FILE IF EXE OR SCR!" (as a contingency plan.

    The total cost of protecting a company from *all* viruses that go to their business accounts runs around $200 maximum.

    Any moron who works at a company and opens said attachment should be fired anyway. So in the long run, the company actually *saves* money by all these worms going out.

    So that must mean that SCO must be rewarding the MyDoom author for all the extra money they keep from firing morons at their company that open those attachments. Wait... that can't be right...

  14. In other news.... on Microsoft-Funded Linux Studies Benefit ... Microsoft · · Score: 1

    Fox guarding henhouse benefits... Fox!

  15. Thoughts on infrastructure on FreeBSD 5.2 Review · · Score: 3, Insightful

    They found the OS very solid as a server but pretty lacking as a desktop.

    So, are they going to refer people to Windows as something with a "good desktop".

    Operating systems, to me, are a lot like buildings. The kernel is the foundations, and everything that sits on top of it are floors in the building. Where would you prefer the weak link to be? Near the bottom of the building, where tapping on a support column on the first floor makes everything come crashing down (read, BSOD)? Or would it be better to have parts of the building that are higher up be weak, in which case part of the building is still left in tact?

    I realize that this analogy isn't entirely true, as with the WTC the weight of the top part of the building entirely decimated the bottom part. But supposing that the bottom underlying part of an operating system is bulletproof, all the abstracting layers on top of it that come crashing down won't kill the whole thing.

    I see this as BSD. They're making sure their foundations are rock solid before building on top of them. It's good practice. The rest of the infrastructure will come with time.

  16. I know this is meant to be funny but. on SCO Offers $250K Bounty for MyDoom Author's Arrest · · Score: 5, Insightful
    $125,000 for what will amount to most likely 4 years in jail?

    Plus, also the likelyhood that whoever did this will be publicly revered and hated (not liked) by the Open Source community, and blacklisted from getting a programming job anywhere else in the world, most likely for life?

    Also, there's the chance of being treated like Mitnick, and charged as a "terrorist." All for the sum of just under $32,000 a year.

    No thanks. If I were the worm writer, I'd hope to God that the virus can't be traced back to me. Either that, or I'd move to Iran or North Korea.

  17. Copyright. on SCO Offers $250K Bounty for MyDoom Author's Arrest · · Score: 5, Funny
    Of course it has nothing to do with DDOS..

    It's that SCO thinks that MyDoom's source code is owned by them. :)

  18. Re:fucking admit it, asshole on Full X11-Based Distro For PDAs · · Score: -1, Troll

    Okay.

    1. My site is gay.
    2. It's unoriginal
    3. My site sucks.
    In addition, I am:
    1. Gay
    2. Unoriginal
    3. I'm a bad programmer who hardly knows html let alone PHP / Perl

    By all means, please link any future personal Trolls about me directly to this comment, where anybody who thinks that I have anything valid to say will know otherwise.

    In fact, make your signature link to this. The world MUST BE AWARE of how stupid, gay and ignorant I am.

    You were right Sexual Asspussy. I'm a complete hack. And there's nothing I can do to change that.

  19. Portable Compiler While You're on the Plane. on Full X11-Based Distro For PDAs · · Score: 4, Funny
    You will also find a WIDE variety of compiled apps in the Feed on the Cacko website such as a native GCC Compiler

    Maybe it's me, but I find it downright hilarious that they include a compiler with a PDA. Like that's some kind of huge geek selling point for it.

    Geek 1: Yeah, I got Quake running on my PDA. Take that!
    Geek 2: That's nothing! I compiled it on my PDA and *then* played it.

    All the other geeks gather around Geek #2. One of the geek chicks who was with Geek #1 pulls away from him and goes over to Geek #2.

    Yeah... I guess it's that important. Just like that nifty new 64-bit CPU that makes my penis feel bigger than it actually is. Yippie.

  20. Eh on Today's Windows Virus - MyDoom / Novarg · · Score: 1
    I do enjoy the sense of humor..

    But I think it'd be much funnier if someone found a hole in SCO Unix, and wrote a worm to DDOS sco.com. Something like that would be so bittersweet.

    Then I remember that a DDOS like that is impossible since no one runs SCO Unix anymore :)

  21. Ah, the Pinto. on Worst Cars Of All Time Rated · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Back when my father was alive, he was a doctor. Our policy in our family was to have two cars: one car that was elegant and classy for going to important meetings / etc, and one car that was completely "ghetto" for the purpose of appearing not-so-well off.

    The logical choice for car #2 was The Pinto. It was a clunker. It had such a lack of style that it was actually stylish... well... in its own sort of way.

    Why would someone want to masquarade as not being well off? Because it's usually not a good idea to driving through Compton in a Lincoln Continental. Even though at the time we were living in Minnesota, this applied but only to a lesser degree.

    So tell me... Is a car jacker more likely to jack a pinto, or jack a Lincoln? Hmmm... Blending in is important sometimes.

    So yes... the Pinto. One of the worst cars of all time, but still managed to serve its purpose.

  22. And??? on Part of Patriot Act Ruled Unconstitutional · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Cole declared the ruling "a victory for everyone who believes the war on terrorism ought to be fought consistent with constitutional principles."

    It's great that this is the first blow towards stamping out parts of the Patriot Act, but it's not winning the whole war.

    I hope that Maher Arar sues the pants off of the US Government. To quote the article:

    The Syrians locked Arar in an underground cell the size of a grave: 3 feet wide, 6 feet long, 7 feet high. Then they questioned him, under torture, repeatedly, for 10 months.

    I hope that this man gets compensation for what he had to endure. I'm crossing my fingers that in the process of him doing so that most of these police-state laws that have gone into effect go the way of the dinosaur.

    This isn't 1943, and this isn't 1984. The law should reflect that.

  23. That's great and all but... on Linux Headed For Smartphone Domination? · · Score: 3, Funny

    But will my phone have apt-get or up2date on it? :)

  24. Don't get socket 754 on Athlon64 Motherboards And Chips Compared · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Now really isn't the time to get an Athlon.

    The 939 pin athlons are just around the corner, which is the migration path of most of the athlon sets.

    754 series sets will still only have a single channel 128 bit pathway. It's not worth it.

    Wait until the 939 pin, and get dual channel memory transfer in a non-FX Athlon64. Even if you're only getting half the cache (1 meg vs 512kb) on the 939 pin versions, chances are you will be able to overclock it more because it's a smaller die space.

    46 pages... I wanted a motherboard review, not a dissertation :)

  25. Skeptical on Footage From Star Wars: Episode III · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I admit...

    The lightsaber fights do end up looking good, even in these green screen clips.

    Then I remember Star Wars: Episode 1. The lightsaber fight with Darth Maul / Obiwan was very very good, but the movie overall wasn't. I realize that from these scenes, that what's shown amounts to roughly 5-10 minutes of the movie that *might* actually be good.

    Call me what you will, but there was nothing in Episode 1 that was truly memorable. There were no lines that are worthy of geeks repeating. There was nothing that truly captured me when I watched it, and made me want to see it again. Just because it's Star Wars, doesn't make it automatically fantastic.

    I hope to god Episode 3 makes up for the other two. But I'm not holding my breath.