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User: DarkHelmet

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Comments · 1,013

  1. In other news on A Shocking Controller For The Xbox · · Score: 2, Funny

    That's nice. Now all I need is a server that shocks me every time there's a security hole announced in it.

  2. HAH on Walmart to Push RFID · · Score: 1, Funny
    I guess those barcodes Walmart tattooed on their employees and customers aren't good enough for tracking them.

    Now they'll need radio tags to do the job right.

  3. Hmmmm on SAPAC Unveils New Australian Supercomputer · · Score: 1
    Looks like the Aussies were looking for a way to try out the slashdot effect on slashdot.

    Either that or they're loaning it to New Zealand to study and see if banning intercourse with sheep increases their country's population.

    I somehow suspect the latter.

  4. Re:Beware of unilateral contracts on SCO NDA Online at LinuxJournal · · Score: 2, Funny
    The ring! I can't believe you fell for the oldest trick in the book! What a goof! What's with you man, come on?

    </offtopic>

  5. Re:Beware of unilateral contracts on SCO NDA Online at LinuxJournal · · Score: 1

    Hmmm, considering that you're a subscriber to slashdot, something tells me you'd sign the NDA, yes? ;)

  6. Great Idea. on Universal Alphanumeric Postal Code Proposed · · Score: 1
    This is a great idea, in spite of the fact that elements of Microsoft are in it.

    Have you ever tried to write a website that takes people's zipcodes, etc and finds the direct distance between them. It's fairly easy when it comes to the US considering that you can get Lat. and Long. of every zip code fairly easily online.

    But try doing it on a worldwide basis. Not only are the listings only available by country, it also uses the *country's* zipcode. UGH! Plus, a list of information on a global scale costs around a thousand dollars to purchase (unless you feel like getting the information for a couple million locations by yourself.

    It's about time we started thinking globally. Now if only we could get the U.S. to switch to the metric system...

  7. Re:Hmmm.... on Nullsoft's Waste: Encrypted, Distributed, Mesh Net · · Score: 1
    AOL Time Warner (IIRC, owners of the second biggest recording company, not to mention one of the major recording studios) owns Nullsoft, which releases a program that the RIAA and MPAA will undoubtedly call a tool whose sole purpose is to illicitly distribute copyrighted works....

    *cough* *cough* Let me fix this for you:

    AOL Time Warner (IIRC, owners of the second biggest recording company, not to mention one of the major recording studios) owns Nullsoft, which released a program CALLED WINAMP that the RIAA and MPAA will undoubtedly call a tool whose sole purpose is to illicitly PLAY copyrighted works....

    Hmmmmmm.....

  8. Cheaters! on FutureMark Confirms nVidia's Benchmark Cheating · · Score: 5, Funny
    Futuremark has confirmed that nVidia is cheating

    WHAT?? My FX 5800 Leaf Blower only has a range of five feet and not six? I want a refund!

  9. Cheaper Zirconium? on Silicon Seduced From Silica · · Score: 1
    and other elements, like zirconium.

    Yes, and get nagged even more after being married that it's not a real diamond.

  10. Re:Fraud??? on Auto Black-Box Data Being Used In Court · · Score: 1
    This is, of course, when they start using encryption to hide the data from the customer...

    Like just about anything out there, the more something comes under the public eye, the more measures are used to secure it.

    Nobody ever thought of methods of proving a users identity back when email was first used. This was back when most of the people who used the net were actually honorable, and spam was a reprocessed meat, not an annoying message.

  11. Toilet on The Ultimate Computer Chair? · · Score: 2, Funny

    A real ultimate computer chair has a toilet... It also wipes.

  12. Re:Boy Crusher? on Dancing Barefoot · · Score: 1
    I don't remember seeing one where Wesley went around crushing boys.

    They got it all wrong. The Traveller crushes him.

  13. Re:Loophole on UK And EU May Make Unsolicited Email Illegal · · Score: -1

    Troll?
    You slashdotters are interesting folk.

  14. Loophole on UK And EU May Make Unsolicited Email Illegal · · Score: -1, Troll
    Good thing I'm sending these 10,000,000 emails from my BOAT IN INTERNATIONAL WATERS

    Bwahahahahhahahahhahhah

  15. Get the Fix! on HTML Rendering Crashes IE · · Score: 3, Funny
    Windows Update:

    BugFix Q3823982

    This patch solves a vulnerability with Microsoft Internet Explorer Versions 4.0, 5.0, 5.5 and 6.0. A missing validation allowed snippits of code such as <form><input type cras.....

    -----

    This program has had a critical error and must be shut down...

  16. Re:It's dead, Jim. on Enterprise Getting New Aliens, Hairdos, Weapons · · Score: 1
    Speaking from experience, I can tell you that the best way to fix any problem is to modify the sensor array to emit an inverse tachyon pulse into the heart of the anomaly.

    I honestly think that episode of Mr. Data's way of committing suicide, and taking out of the universe with him.

    Seven years without getting laid. It was his way of getting back at a universe that wouldn't sleep with him.

    Somebody should have made Data a female somewhere in Season 7. I don't mean pretty makeup and boobs style... I mean Fistful of Data's-woman-at-the-end style.

    That, or they somehow mix it up with the Dukes of Hazard... Imagine the voice of Waylon Jennings going: "Hooo weeeeee! 'Dem Federation Boys just blasted out of there like shotguns at a Wal-Mart sale!"

    Any show that is enough of a car wreck, people will watch. It's sad, it's pathetic, and most of all, it's true.

  17. Wrong way. on Distributed Computing Attacking SARS · · Score: 3, Insightful
    We're going at this all the wrong way...

    I know how to cure SARS.

    You give 8 of the most powerful businessmen in America SARS.

    In two months, there will be 3 or 4 different cures.

  18. Re:favorite part thus far - Unix & C were a pr on Unix-Haters Handbook Available Online · · Score: 3, Funny
    And that level of cryptic fashion was not broken until Larry Wall invented Perl a few years later.

    Later, a fellow by the name of Rob Malda helped fashion SlashCode, a piece of code so bloated and confusing that it could disable a whole server.

  19. Scott Peterson?!?!? on New Terminator 3 Trailer Released · · Score: 1
    Check the credits on IMDB for T3:

    http://www.imdb.com/Title?0181852

    Mark Famiglietti .... Scott Peterson

    Isn't that the guy who just murdered his wife and unborn child?

    Some cameo :P

  20. pointless comment. on New Terminator 3 Trailer Released · · Score: 1
    A terminator movie is NOT a terminator movie without good old Dr. Silberman...

    I found the whole mental institute part utterly amusing in T2.

  21. RAM / Palm / Pilot on Palm Memory Maximum Increased · · Score: 1, Funny
    What's this crap?

    I only use my palm when I don't get RAM...

    When I get some RAM, my hand gets to rest for a while.

    And when I don't get RAM, I use my palm a lot... Sometimes it gets hairy, and I have to shave it. Then I have a Shaved Palm.

    I don't know where the Pilot bit came in. I've never RAMmed a pilot before.

    I've used my Palm while thinking about a stewardess, but not a Pilot. That's sick.

  22. Re:SpaceBalls on Comparing Sci-fi Starship Sizes · · Score: 1
    I am DarkHelmet!

    My Schwartz IS bigger than yours.

  23. AOL Bandwidth on Matrix Reloaded Trailer Released · · Score: 1
    If you only knew the power of the dark side...

    Oh wait, wrong movie...

  24. saddam.iq on Rebuilding Iraq's Internet · · Score: 1
    I hope saddam.iq isn't taken so I can set up subdomains such as:

    SonOfTheSnake.saddam.iq
    MrBush.saddam.iq
    ChemicalAli.saddam.iq

    Damn, that'd make some cool naming for a warez se--- errr, linux distribution site.

  25. Hackers on TiVo Home Media Rollout · · Score: 2, Funny
    No! No TiVo for me! I don't want any hackers breaking into my machine, and program which shows to record.

    Knowing them, they'll probably make the TiVo think I'm a gay, pregnant male.