Poster named Damiam, you are in violation of the terms of my license. You are hereby asked to cease and desist from distributing your code, and will be contacted shortly with a cease and desist letter saying the same message.
If you do not pay royalties to me, I shall strip you of all your Karma, and fart in your general direction.:)
By the way, if you claim prior art, this is not true. I came up with this program back in 1984 when I was banging enter on the keyboard of my Commodore Pet computer and realized that I was programming it without my knowledge.
That story was okay. I have a program I've made that works in just about anything out there. I really wasn't sure about sharing the source code with you people on slashdot, but why not...
-- Begin Code snippit beneath this line ---
-- End Code snippit above this line ---
Try it, it should work. You see, the key to getting it to work for everything out there is to compromise what the program can do.
Fortunately, since the goal was to make the program run in as many languages as possible, I can make the code as minimalistic as possible, too!
By the way, the code I mentioned above is property of myself. This code cannot be used in programs without my expressed permission. Doing so would be a violation of the terms in which I am distributing the above code.
Licensing agreements are available. Contact me for more info.
...that goes into great detail about how exactly they reverse-engineered Battle.net.
Install packet sniffer on local network.
Read lots of 1's and 0's into a huge dump file
Familiarize yourself with UDP.
Tear out clump of hair as stress relief.
Create nifty diagrams that show the battlenet server as a black box with the game that you and your buddy have made online as the two other pieces.
Look at the responses that the black box sends back to each of the machines.
Ponder on whether or not a monkey would be a good programmer since a tail in addition to two hands that can hit those hard-to-reach keys.
Create a prototype program that relays game packets from two client boxes.
Play lots of StarCraft through this box.
Debug lots and lots.
Decide against implimenting cheats on the server box against your other cohorts that are helping you develop this
Create a chat room interface.
Do final testing on the program.
Program into the server daemon random insult messages that will be sent to all of your friend programmers while testing, making them abandon the project out of anger.
If you were writing a general-purpose thumbnail gallery that can be used for, say, a photo album, but the porn site uses your software, you are morally in the clear. If, on the other hand, the porn site hires you to write this software specifically for them, but it could also potentially be used for a photo album, you are not morally in the clear. To me, this is simple ethical philosophy in practice.
I see your point there. The difference is extremely subtle in a sense. For the most part, I do contract work, and have a couple of jobs going right now. One of them happens to be for a company that has a couple softcore websites on the net. Part of what they'd like me to do is write a script for pulling up thumbnail images from a gallery of photos. While I don't actually have the complete script assembled beforehand, I'm essentially making something that I plan to sell later for any purpose. Perhaps even make it open source, depending on the need for it.
For me, it has a lot more to do with how I'm writing the software rather than who gets to use the software first. I'm trying to be prudent in the sense that anything I write for them could feasibly be used elsewhere.
I see my work essentially as building up a library of scripts and tools. The more I code, and the more things I do, the faster I'll be able to do a given job based on what I have already.
But I guess one could argue that the Nazis had a great way of organizing records thanks to the holocaust. I probably should start taking that into account before I code for any Neo Nazi movement:)
I've never really had any sort of moral objection with pornography though. I suppose this is where the difference of opinion really stems... But I'll put my reasoning into it later.
That is the crux of my argument. If we, as people, do not support things that we see as being unethical, they will not be as prevalent. Simple economics, really.
It's kind of ironic trying to justify morality in an economic system that is blind to it. I'm glad we both agree on the idea of choice. It's the weight of making that decision that I see differently.
For instance, most of my friends that I've known throughout high school and college experimented with drugs. It was never anything really secretive. Most of my friends usually offered me some as a polite gesture. I was never really offended or anything like that. And I never did take them up on their offer.
I've found that I prefer all those "bad options" and "bad paths" to be there along the good ones in life. Because at least that way, I don't have to keep wondering what I would have done if the option was there.
I keep getting offers to do porn videos, but I don't really think it's my thing. Heh.
You may not respect them or feel sorry for them (which is a shame). But that in no way means that you should watch them do it. I don't believe you can provide me any moral justification for supporting the system that allows someone to put themselves in positions that demeans and degrades them further.
Well, not really. To be honest, that's what the whole model of western society is built upon. The notion of capitalism, at least in a pure sense, involves profiting by dominating and control environments.
I used to be an intern at a defense company a couple years ago. Even though I was pretty much useless there for the few months that I was there, there were people next to me doing things such as missle guidance systems. I suppose I used my uselessness at that work environment (since I was spending most of my time messing around with DBI and perl without actually doing anything productive) as my way of funnelling money out of their cause...
I promised myself that when I got out of school, that I would NEVER take a job in the defense industry. But still, talking to people there made me wonder. What happens if there is a hippocratic oath for programmers? What happens to the thousands of programmers who create missiles to kill people?
But getting back on topic, I don't really feel sorry for them. I can't. Because out of the times that I've visited this studio, and met any porn star, they're usually quite outgoing and happy. I guess that's the image I always see with them, and not any of the humiliation videos or mock-rape, or anything like that.
Maybe I should think about that. And maybe I should try and get inside their heads a little bit more and see if they're really happy with what they're doing.
I hope it doesn't backfire on you, when someday you need someone's help, and nobody is there to give it, because they think the way you do.
I think that I'm a little bit too obsessed with helping myself, and making sure I make the right choices. One of these days (the next time I go in there and see a pornstar there), I'd really like to ask him/her the question, "Why?"
The strangest thing about having any sort of affiliation with them is that my outlook on women went exactly the opposite way I thought it would go. I thought I would start seeing women entirely as objects and nothing else.
But there comes a point where you see so much of it that there's no stimulus to it anymore. Porn has never particularly appealed to me. But seeing so much of it pretty much killed off all the things that it's supposed to trigger.
I don't stand speechless and stare at any voluptuous woman that enters the room. I don't envision just sex anymore, it doesn't really do. There has to be someone behind the fantasy, or else it doesn't work. They're just another "picture on the monitor", even if I'm standing right before them, if I don't know anything about them.
I wish it worked that way for everyone who gets an overdose of it. You start learning that sex isn't the goal of everything. That there are better things to talk about, and better things to pursue.
You also learn that the last thing a beautiful woman wishes to be called is beautiful:). Try complimenting her personality instead. *laughs*
I've never really seen pornography as that evil, though. It's not so much the act of having sex that I see as bad, but the way that people use what they see.
But then again, I've never really gotten any enjoyment out of it.... So I seriously don't know.. I think it's something to think about over the next few days...
P.S: don't worry about flamewars or anything. Now that I think about it, it's kind of cool getting long responses for things;)
For others reading this: I usually like getting responses to stuff I write, but it's really annoying when I'm flamed for something I tried to write in humor. I'm modding this up by a bonus point because I think the discussion is worth reading. Anyone is more than welcome to mod this down, but I think it's worth leaving it the way it is just to get more people to respond.
*ANYWAY*
Note: Author's Lines in bold, my responses plain.
And if someone gets depressed and wants to commit suicide, you will gladly hand them the gun, because it was their choice to begin with?
Did I miss something here? I'm coding the medium for presenting pictures. This code is portable for the purpose of viewing other kinds of media. Are you saying that if Slash (the perl system that houses slashdot) were used on a site in which white power zealots distribute information about would-be targets, that it's somehow Rob Malda's fault? Fascinating hypothesis.
Am I going to hand the person the gun? No. Am I going to break down and cry every time I see another murder on the evening news? No. And am I going to let the intent of a piece of code I plan to sell get in the way of me selling it? No.
You wouldn't mind it if your mother, or wife, or daughter (take your pick) was getting fucked in the ass by a guy with a huge dick, while I jerked off to it?
Am I supposed to be somehow appalled by you saying this? If my wife, mother, or daughter wanted to do a video like this, what am I supposed to do? Talk them out of it? Fine. But what if they still want to do it? What do I do then? Beat them? Lock them up and never let them leave the house? Ultimately, it IS their choice, and if they want to do it, there's nothing I can do about it. As mad as I get, and no matter how my opinions differ from theirs, it's still their choice.
It's also your choice on whether or not you wish to jerk off to that video.
When you use another person for your own ends (for example, sexual pleasure that is not mutual), you are not respecting them.
My job isn't go to out and respect people who don't even respect themselves. And I don't feel sorry for women who get $300 for a blowjob video.
What if she is down on her luck and has no money, and gets the opportunity to do a mock rape film, in which she does get physically beaten up?
<sarcasm> Oh, my mistake, I thought mock rape films were films about emotional, soft lovemaking. </sarcasm>
I have about half a dozen female friends who have been raped. There's a big difference between doing a mock rape film out of choice and being raped in real life. It's an issue of consent. It always has been, and it always will be. And as I know more and more women in life who have been a victim of something like that, I feel less and less sorry for someone who is willing to do a mock-up of it for money. I don't feel sorry for them, not one bit at all.
What if the sex industry drives thousands of women into therapy, something which they never psychologically recover from for the rest of their lives? Is it still ok?
So do you plan to make smoking illegal, just because it kills people? Yeah, it might be a good idea. It might be the "safe" thing to do. But it's one more choice that you take out of the hands of the common person.
If I want to smoke, that's my choice. If I want to be in a mock-rape film, that's my choice. If I want to be paid for people shitting on me, that's my choice.
This isn't abortion here. This isn't killing animals for fur. There's no "unspoken" third party to think about here. It's one person choosing whether or not it's worth the money to do a film. Whether or not they're emotionally unstable, or greedy enough to want to do the film is honestly not my problem.
You're entirely wrong. I have no moral obligation to people I don't know. My only prerogative is making sure that anything I do doesn't result in anyone being killed.
Who are you to tell people what consenting people should and should not do? When your dictatorship comes to power, be sure to let me know.
Remember the 'embrace and extend' campaigns we've used in the past.
Oh, so does that mean future versions of Windows will Embrace Open Source/Linux, and Extend support of Windows Programs so that other OSes can run them?
Sony Corporation says the best way to protect yourself is to not recharge the robots after you have been attacked.
I can imagine the next Terminator movie being about an AIBO that CAN recharge itself and what happens because of it. Here's a line from the script:
Arnold: The man most directly responsible is Yoshi Yanamura, Director of Special Projects at Sony Corporation. In a few months he creates a revolutionary type of mircoprocessor. He uses it to create AIBO, an overpriced robotic companion for kids. On the side, Sony uses the AIBO to perfect its manufacturing process in military computers The government reprograms the AIBO to accept military objectives.
In three years Sony will become the largest supplier of military computer systems. All stealth bombers are upgraded with Sony
computers, becoming fully unmanned, Afterward, the fly with a perfect operational record.
The AIBOnet funding bill is passed. The system goes on-line August 4th, 2002. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. AIBOnet begins to learn, at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. eastern time, August 29.
In a panic, they try to pull the plug.
Oh yeah, in this movie AIBOnet produced gigantic two-legged dogs, so the Terminator has a slight resemblance to Scooby Doo.
Should programmers be able to refuse to write code that harms the public more than it helps?
No, I'm not going to do PHP on that porn site I was working on earlier because damnit, I think the women who are being paid money for it don't know what they're doing to themselves.
If I take a stand against The MAN, and do it for the sake of the women, perhaps I can be the voice that changes the opinions of a generation of men. I can help those women get REAL hard-working jobs, like at the McDonald's across the street.
I'm going to do it, because I care for all of you. Because in my heart, you are all my brothers, and sisters, and I know that if I do my part to be good to society, eventually it will be good in return to me.
Ooops, where was I? Oh yes...
$sql = "select * from PictureTable where Catagory1 = \"Double-D\" AND Catagory2 = \"sex\""
$query = mysql_query($sql);
while ($row = mysql_fetch_row($query))
{ echo "<img src = \"".$row[1]."\"> ";}
Eh, nevermind what I said before... Screw you guys...:)
Telecommute to work and never leave the house? Have your groceries delivered to you because you're worried you'll miss a First Post? Have your DVD's mailed to you because you don't want to go outside? Meet women off the internet because you don't want to go to bars, or anywhere else for that matter?
You, like many of the other slashdotters who browse this site may be interested in Astronomy. But alas, Astronomy is one of those "evil" practices where often one must go outside, or even to a planetarium to witness the night sky.
No such need anymore! New and Improved SOHO gives you all the luxury of another nerdy hobby without ever having to leave the house! Just browse the pages, and you too can feel that you're at one with the night sky! Without even having to take your eyes off the computer screen!
Ever worry that you'll lose your lovely monitor tan if you go outside and do anything! Not to worry! SOHO's experience fits in a browser window, along with your threads of GIMPS, SETI@Home, and ProgressQuest to boot! Contribute to 3 1/4 worthy causes at the same time!
But wait, there's more! If you visit our Site, we will give you a nifty "I find comets while surfing slashdot" T-Shirt! This does well with the ladies when talking to them over the webcam.
Act now! Web site is limited as this site is bound to be slashdotted soon.
Visit today! Before that comet with your name on it becomes "Comet AnonCoward-23832"
Now there's someone I'd like to see do a kung-fu movie.:)
It's not giving caffeine to them....
on
The Plague of Frogs
·
· Score: 3, Funny
It's taking it away from them that'll do the trick.
Just think about it... All those mornings that you rely on coffee to go to work. All those mornings that you need something to keep you awake, and not sleep in until noon. It's what prevents you from making your head explode.
Get them hooked on coffee. Not just something in the water, but the frigging powdered kind. Kind of like a drug addict, where they inject it. Frogs are different though. It would diffuse right through their skin.
Then, when you have an army of frogs addicted to the funny powder, stop giving it to them, and see what they do.
"He had a Holy Grail that was the telecommunications equivalent of cold fusion," Mons said.
I'm picturing a bunch of companies with copper networks led by King Arthur galloping with a bunch of coconuts up to a castle. The man (who somehow looks like John Cleese with a peculiar french accent) at the top of the castle says that this is a castle of people with fiber networks.
King Arthur: If you give us food and shelter, you can join us on our quest for the Holy Grail.
Frenchman: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. He's already got one, you see?
King Arthur: What? Are you sure you've got one?
Frenchman: Oh yes, it's very nice.
King Arthur: If you don't show us the grail, we shall take this castle by force!
Frenchman: You don't frighten us you copper-based pigdogs! Go and boil your buttons you sons of silly person. I blow my nose at you so cold, Arthur King. You and all your Silly English Kniggits! I fart in your general direction.... etc
At that point, the Fiber Optic French people catapult a gigantic light-based switch at them.
Spam isn't just the emails you get for free pr0n, or opt-in... It's those people online who also get your email address because you talk to them *once* online, and they think that it's the "cool thing to do" by emailing you with every little tiny thing that they *think* is funny.
So in addition to flogging the companies who send spam, it's about time that all those forward junkies get flogged too.. Here's how:
You ask them to think of a number between one and ten. If the number is between 0-4, flog them that number of times, plus the year that they were born. Ask them to subtract the month they were born multiplied by the day that they were born. If they get the calculation correct, flog them that many times. If they get the calculation wrong, flog them twice as many times.
Then ask them to think of someone that they want to be with. And tell them that this person will die unless this flogged person finds 10 other spammers to come and be flogged all the same.
Tell them that Bill Gates/Michael Eisner (any other big exec) will personally give them a flogging if they go around saying that they'll get money in an email.
Slashdot Mirror
Poster named Damiam, you are in violation of the terms of my license. You are hereby asked to cease and desist from distributing your code, and will be contacted shortly with a cease and desist letter saying the same message.
If you do not pay royalties to me, I shall strip you of all your Karma, and fart in your general direction. :)
By the way, if you claim prior art, this is not true. I came up with this program back in 1984 when I was banging enter on the keyboard of my Commodore Pet computer and realized that I was programming it without my knowledge.
-- Begin Code snippit beneath this line ---
-- End Code snippit above this line ---
Try it, it should work. You see, the key to getting it to work for everything out there is to compromise what the program can do.
Fortunately, since the goal was to make the program run in as many languages as possible, I can make the code as minimalistic as possible, too!
By the way, the code I mentioned above is property of myself. This code cannot be used in programs without my expressed permission. Doing so would be a violation of the terms in which I am distributing the above code.
Licensing agreements are available. Contact me for more info.
- Install packet sniffer on local network.
- Read lots of 1's and 0's into a huge dump file
- Familiarize yourself with UDP.
- Tear out clump of hair as stress relief.
- Create nifty diagrams that show the battlenet server as a black box with the game that you and your buddy have made online as the two other pieces.
- Look at the responses that the black box sends back to each of the machines.
- Ponder on whether or not a monkey would be a good programmer since a tail in addition to two hands that can hit those hard-to-reach keys.
- Create a prototype program that relays game packets from two client boxes.
- Play lots of StarCraft through this box.
- Debug lots and lots.
- Decide against implimenting cheats on the server box against your other cohorts that are helping you develop this
- Create a chat room interface.
- Do final testing on the program.
- Program into the server daemon random insult messages that will be sent to all of your friend programmers while testing, making them abandon the project out of anger.
- Profit.
That was easy enough!HA HA!
Two words: Neverland Ranch.
Call Paul Bunyan. Cause he's a lumberjack and he's okay!
I just wanna be able to look at the dollar bills on my computer instead of having to carry them with me. Is that so bad?
Now if it could only moderate stuff I write before I post it to slashdot, then I could sell my high karma account on ebay :)
Maybe I should email them and see if they'll put that feature in. Maybe in 2.0 they'll have a "Save to Slashdot" menu option.
Well, anything's better than having to wear a woman's hairpiece over your eyes.
Oh, I'm sorry, I seemed to have left my container in Europe.
For me, it has a lot more to do with how I'm writing the software rather than who gets to use the software first. I'm trying to be prudent in the sense that anything I write for them could feasibly be used elsewhere.
I see my work essentially as building up a library of scripts and tools. The more I code, and the more things I do, the faster I'll be able to do a given job based on what I have already.
But I guess one could argue that the Nazis had a great way of organizing records thanks to the holocaust. I probably should start taking that into account before I code for any Neo Nazi movement :)
I've never really had any sort of moral objection with pornography though. I suppose this is where the difference of opinion really stems... But I'll put my reasoning into it later.
It's kind of ironic trying to justify morality in an economic system that is blind to it. I'm glad we both agree on the idea of choice. It's the weight of making that decision that I see differently.
For instance, most of my friends that I've known throughout high school and college experimented with drugs. It was never anything really secretive. Most of my friends usually offered me some as a polite gesture. I was never really offended or anything like that. And I never did take them up on their offer.
I've found that I prefer all those "bad options" and "bad paths" to be there along the good ones in life. Because at least that way, I don't have to keep wondering what I would have done if the option was there.
I keep getting offers to do porn videos, but I don't really think it's my thing. Heh.
Well, not really. To be honest, that's what the whole model of western society is built upon. The notion of capitalism, at least in a pure sense, involves profiting by dominating and control environments.I used to be an intern at a defense company a couple years ago. Even though I was pretty much useless there for the few months that I was there, there were people next to me doing things such as missle guidance systems. I suppose I used my uselessness at that work environment (since I was spending most of my time messing around with DBI and perl without actually doing anything productive) as my way of funnelling money out of their cause...
I promised myself that when I got out of school, that I would NEVER take a job in the defense industry. But still, talking to people there made me wonder. What happens if there is a hippocratic oath for programmers? What happens to the thousands of programmers who create missiles to kill people?
But getting back on topic, I don't really feel sorry for them. I can't. Because out of the times that I've visited this studio, and met any porn star, they're usually quite outgoing and happy. I guess that's the image I always see with them, and not any of the humiliation videos or mock-rape, or anything like that.
Maybe I should think about that. And maybe I should try and get inside their heads a little bit more and see if they're really happy with what they're doing.
I think that I'm a little bit too obsessed with helping myself, and making sure I make the right choices. One of these days (the next time I go in there and see a pornstar there), I'd really like to ask him/her the question, "Why?"The strangest thing about having any sort of affiliation with them is that my outlook on women went exactly the opposite way I thought it would go. I thought I would start seeing women entirely as objects and nothing else.
But there comes a point where you see so much of it that there's no stimulus to it anymore. Porn has never particularly appealed to me. But seeing so much of it pretty much killed off all the things that it's supposed to trigger.
I don't stand speechless and stare at any voluptuous woman that enters the room. I don't envision just sex anymore, it doesn't really do. There has to be someone behind the fantasy, or else it doesn't work. They're just another "picture on the monitor", even if I'm standing right before them, if I don't know anything about them.
I wish it worked that way for everyone who gets an overdose of it. You start learning that sex isn't the goal of everything. That there are better things to talk about, and better things to pursue.
You also learn that the last thing a beautiful woman wishes to be called is beautiful :). Try complimenting her personality instead. *laughs*
I've never really seen pornography as that evil, though. It's not so much the act of having sex that I see as bad, but the way that people use what they see.
But then again, I've never really gotten any enjoyment out of it.... So I seriously don't know.. I think it's something to think about over the next few days...
P.S: don't worry about flamewars or anything. Now that I think about it, it's kind of cool getting long responses for things ;)
It could still happen... There's always Star Trek 11!
My bad, the "No Score" option worked differently than I thought.
*ANYWAY*
Note: Author's Lines in bold, my responses plain.
And if someone gets depressed and wants to commit suicide, you will gladly hand them the gun, because it was their choice to begin with?
Did I miss something here? I'm coding the medium for presenting pictures. This code is portable for the purpose of viewing other kinds of media. Are you saying that if Slash (the perl system that houses slashdot) were used on a site in which white power zealots distribute information about would-be targets, that it's somehow Rob Malda's fault? Fascinating hypothesis.
Am I going to hand the person the gun? No. Am I going to break down and cry every time I see another murder on the evening news? No. And am I going to let the intent of a piece of code I plan to sell get in the way of me selling it? No.
You wouldn't mind it if your mother, or wife, or daughter (take your pick) was getting fucked in the ass by a guy with a huge dick, while I jerked off to it?
Am I supposed to be somehow appalled by you saying this? If my wife, mother, or daughter wanted to do a video like this, what am I supposed to do? Talk them out of it? Fine. But what if they still want to do it? What do I do then? Beat them? Lock them up and never let them leave the house? Ultimately, it IS their choice, and if they want to do it, there's nothing I can do about it. As mad as I get, and no matter how my opinions differ from theirs, it's still their choice.
It's also your choice on whether or not you wish to jerk off to that video.
When you use another person for your own ends (for example, sexual pleasure that is not mutual), you are not respecting them.
My job isn't go to out and respect people who don't even respect themselves. And I don't feel sorry for women who get $300 for a blowjob video.
What if she is down on her luck and has no money, and gets the opportunity to do a mock rape film, in which she does get physically beaten up?
<sarcasm> Oh, my mistake, I thought mock rape films were films about emotional, soft lovemaking. </sarcasm>
I have about half a dozen female friends who have been raped. There's a big difference between doing a mock rape film out of choice and being raped in real life. It's an issue of consent. It always has been, and it always will be. And as I know more and more women in life who have been a victim of something like that, I feel less and less sorry for someone who is willing to do a mock-up of it for money. I don't feel sorry for them, not one bit at all.
What if the sex industry drives thousands of women into therapy, something which they never psychologically recover from for the rest of their lives? Is it still ok?
So do you plan to make smoking illegal, just because it kills people? Yeah, it might be a good idea. It might be the "safe" thing to do. But it's one more choice that you take out of the hands of the common person.
If I want to smoke, that's my choice. If I want to be in a mock-rape film, that's my choice. If I want to be paid for people shitting on me, that's my choice.
This isn't abortion here. This isn't killing animals for fur. There's no "unspoken" third party to think about here. It's one person choosing whether or not it's worth the money to do a film. Whether or not they're emotionally unstable, or greedy enough to want to do the film is honestly not my problem.
You're entirely wrong. I have no moral obligation to people I don't know. My only prerogative is making sure that anything I do doesn't result in anyone being killed.
Who are you to tell people what consenting people should and should not do? When your dictatorship comes to power, be sure to let me know.
Oh, so does that mean future versions of Windows will Embrace Open Source/Linux, and Extend support of Windows Programs so that other OSes can run them?
In the words of Young Darth Vader, "Yippie!"
I can imagine the next Terminator movie being about an AIBO that CAN recharge itself and what happens because of it. Here's a line from the script:
Oh yeah, in this movie AIBOnet produced gigantic two-legged dogs, so the Terminator has a slight resemblance to Scooby Doo.
No, I'm not going to do PHP on that porn site I was working on earlier because damnit, I think the women who are being paid money for it don't know what they're doing to themselves.
If I take a stand against The MAN, and do it for the sake of the women, perhaps I can be the voice that changes the opinions of a generation of men. I can help those women get REAL hard-working jobs, like at the McDonald's across the street.
I'm going to do it, because I care for all of you. Because in my heart, you are all my brothers, and sisters, and I know that if I do my part to be good to society, eventually it will be good in return to me.
Ooops, where was I? Oh yes...
$sql = "select * from PictureTable where Catagory1 = \"Double-D\" AND Catagory2 = \"sex\""
$query = mysql_query($sql);
while ($row = mysql_fetch_row($query))
{ echo "<img src = \"".$row[1]."\">
";}
Eh, nevermind what I said before... Screw you guys... :)
You, like many of the other slashdotters who browse this site may be interested in Astronomy. But alas, Astronomy is one of those "evil" practices where often one must go outside, or even to a planetarium to witness the night sky.
No such need anymore! New and Improved SOHO gives you all the luxury of another nerdy hobby without ever having to leave the house! Just browse the pages, and you too can feel that you're at one with the night sky! Without even having to take your eyes off the computer screen!
Ever worry that you'll lose your lovely monitor tan if you go outside and do anything! Not to worry! SOHO's experience fits in a browser window, along with your threads of GIMPS, SETI@Home, and ProgressQuest to boot! Contribute to 3 1/4 worthy causes at the same time!
But wait, there's more! If you visit our Site, we will give you a nifty "I find comets while surfing slashdot" T-Shirt! This does well with the ladies when talking to them over the webcam.
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Now there's someone I'd like to see do a kung-fu movie. :)
Just think about it... All those mornings that you rely on coffee to go to work. All those mornings that you need something to keep you awake, and not sleep in until noon. It's what prevents you from making your head explode.
Get them hooked on coffee. Not just something in the water, but the frigging powdered kind. Kind of like a drug addict, where they inject it. Frogs are different though. It would diffuse right through their skin.
Then, when you have an army of frogs addicted to the funny powder, stop giving it to them, and see what they do.
Spider sense... tingling.
Harry Potter... bitchslapped.
I'm picturing a bunch of companies with copper networks led by King Arthur galloping with a bunch of coconuts up to a castle. The man (who somehow looks like John Cleese with a peculiar french accent) at the top of the castle says that this is a castle of people with fiber networks.
King Arthur: If you give us food and shelter, you can join us on our quest for the Holy Grail.
Frenchman: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. He's already got one, you see?
King Arthur: What? Are you sure you've got one?
Frenchman: Oh yes, it's very nice.
King Arthur: If you don't show us the grail, we shall take this castle by force!
Frenchman: You don't frighten us you copper-based pigdogs! Go and boil your buttons you sons of silly person. I blow my nose at you so cold, Arthur King. You and all your Silly English Kniggits! I fart in your general direction.... etc
At that point, the Fiber Optic French people catapult a gigantic light-based switch at them.
King Arthur and his Men: Run Away! Run Away!
So in addition to flogging the companies who send spam, it's about time that all those forward junkies get flogged too.. Here's how:
You ask them to think of a number between one and ten. If the number is between 0-4, flog them that number of times, plus the year that they were born. Ask them to subtract the month they were born multiplied by the day that they were born. If they get the calculation correct, flog them that many times. If they get the calculation wrong, flog them twice as many times.
Then ask them to think of someone that they want to be with. And tell them that this person will die unless this flogged person finds 10 other spammers to come and be flogged all the same.
Tell them that Bill Gates/Michael Eisner (any other big exec) will personally give them a flogging if they go around saying that they'll get money in an email.
If so, a round trip ticket to Peru is cheaper than Visual Studio, so I know where I'm going for .NET.