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User: Drakkenmensch

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  1. Re:see all this time on RIAA Wants 'Net Neutrality' To Include Filtering · · Score: 1

    Ooops, you got me there. Yup, Helen Lovejoy! Maude Flanders isn't into hysterical screaming, she's more of a judgemental passive-aggressive type.

  2. Re:Stephenie Meyer is a talentless hack on 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail · · Score: 1

    "Fido" was a first step in that direction. The ending of "Shaun of the Dead" also supports that logical progression (I always thought that the love story in that movie was more between Shaun and Nick rather than Shaun and Liz). Your logic is flawless

  3. Re:see all this time on RIAA Wants 'Net Neutrality' To Include Filtering · · Score: 1

    Yup, that's the entire rationale behind Maude Flanders logic. "Think of the CHILDREN! Won't someone PLEAAAAAAASE think of the CHILDREN!!!" Then again, perhaps the problem there is that some people think TOO MUCH about the children...

  4. RIAA said it first! on RIAA Wants 'Net Neutrality' To Include Filtering · · Score: 4, Funny

    Specifically, they're worried that the rules might make it difficult for ISPs to filter out copyright infringement and child pornography

    The RIAA wants to protect their copyrighted child porn?

  5. I am recording this right now on Court OKs Covert iPhone Audio Recording · · Score: 1

    Please speak into my iPhone clearly.

  6. How does it add up? on Bicycles As a Gateway To Government Control · · Score: 3, Funny

    Bike sharing is forced population control? Perhaps because when you have a bike accident, you slip from your seat and bust your nuts on the horizontal frame bar?

  7. Re:boost? on Sandisk Debuts World's Smallest SSD Yet · · Score: 1
  8. Intel will make good use of McAfee... on Intel Buys McAfee · · Score: 1

    ... assuming of course they manage to get every last Norton AV registry key purged out of their systems first.

  9. Re:Pros vs Cons on Portal 2 Gets Release Date · · Score: 1

    Con: Stephen Merchant is lending his voice Lending? Can we get him to shut up? Watching the video he blathers on and on and on. And for some reason I don't find his voice very pleasant while I liked GladOs' voice.

    The original Glados voice was in the teaser trailer presented at E3, so it's looking good that it will be back just as in the first one (yay). Stephen Merchant, if I'm not mistaken, was brought on board to voice a droid character you will meet along the way.

  10. Re:mind-controlling parasites nothing new on Zombie Ants and Killer Fungus · · Score: 1

    There's an even gorier and specialized example, the emerald cockroach wasp, which will damage a cockroach's brain to remove all survival instincts so it allows itself to be infected and eaten alive from the inside out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emerald_cockroach_wasp

  11. The cure... on Zombie Ants and Killer Fungus · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...is obviously giving the ants tiny red crowbars.

  12. What's next? on Australia Considering iPhone App Censorship · · Score: 4, Funny

    Australian government soon to ban all forms of evil sorcery, including phones, television and the telegraph. Story at 6 on smoke signals and tam-tams.

  13. Re:what a joke on Minority Report Style Iris Scanners In Mexico · · Score: 1

    It WILL make a difference. Within a week, all the druglords will be able to track day and night the locations of the judges and uncorrupted politicians they had been unable to murder until now. Mob rule starts in 3, 2, 1...

  14. Study shows... on Lies, Damned Lies and Cat Statistics · · Score: 1

    Norm McDonald once said that you can have people believe anything you tell them, as long as you preceed it with the words "Study shows"... the funny because it's eerily right.

  15. Either that on Google's CEO Warns Kids Will Have to Change Names to Escape "Cyber Past" · · Score: 4, Insightful

    ... or we'll collectively learn that throwing rocks in the neighbour's window is NOT a life-tainting event that will destroy your life forever? Criminal records are, in theory, forever, and even killers get to move on when their sentences are done.

  16. Re:Youngest? on A Million Kids Misdiagnosed with ADHD? · · Score: 1

    Some schools have realized this and starting pulling the smart kids out of 'general population' and putting them in their own curriculum track which is much more challenging.

    My high school had a program like that of which I was part. It was an amazing year, but it was cancelled the next. Not because of problems with the students or lack of interest, but rather because the parents of the regular kids complained it was discrimination against their kids. So yeah. Lowest common denominator and loud stupidity won that day.

  17. The products may fix themselves... on The Future of Tech Support · · Score: 1

    ... but the users will not. Have you ever tried giving assistance to a person who argues that it's "impossible" that her computer have a password on it, because she doesn't want it to? Or tried to understand why a customer's computer has their cursor "move by itself on the screen" only to figure out after half an hour that they are just grazing their laptop's touchpad with their thumbs while typing? Tech support may change because the products themselves will need less human assistance, but troubleshooting customers is a need that will NEVER go away.

  18. Nightmare Fuel on Icelandic Company Designs Human Pylons · · Score: 3, Funny

    Wow, and I thought clown dolls were freaky when I was a kid. Can't wait for kids to wake up screaming that the giant electrical skeletons are coming to get them!

  19. The blueprint's useless! on Ray Kurzweil Does Not Understand the Brain · · Score: 1

    The brain as defined by the DNA is similar to technical blueprints for a hard drive. Even if you manage to build one, you still don't have an operating system or data on it, just the writing tools and surface to host them.

  20. No thank you. on NAB, RIAA May Seek Mandate For FM Radios In Mobile Devices · · Score: 1

    If I want some GOOD auto-tuned music, I'll listen to Auto-tune The News on youtube, thank you very much.

  21. Gosling's patent... on Why Software Patents Are a Joke — Literally · · Score: 1

    ... is for a LIGHT SWITCH! Either the guy is brilliant for weasling that one through or the patent office is sleeping at the (Gosling patented) switch for letting that one through.

  22. Porn is the ultimate killer app on First 3-D IMAX Porn Movie Made In Hong Kong · · Score: 1, Insightful

    Betamax was a superior format to VHS with higher quality image to VHS. Why did VHS win? No porn available on betamax! Never underestimate the purchasing power of people who spend money with their penis in control of their wallet.

  23. Just as long... on Lost Star Wars Scene In the Wild · · Score: 1

    ... as it's not the missing Santa Droid scene from the Star Wars Holiday Special!

  24. Geometry patenting on Town Gets Patent On Being the Center of Europe · · Score: 1

    I guess they did that before some other town they hate gets a patent on being the "geographic median city of europe"?

  25. Re:unfair competition on Geek Squad Sends Cease-and-Desist Letter To God Squad · · Score: 2, Funny

    As a tech, I find that prayer is often a tool in my methodology when working with windows...