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User: ozbird

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Comments · 1,546

  1. OT: Monkeys on Zune HD Unveiled, Set For Fall Release · · Score: 2, Funny

    Life is a monkey, flinging feces and candy. The trick is figuring out when to dodge and when to catch.

    Unless monkeys have learnt to wash their hands, keep dodging.

  2. Re:Electrical outlets on Survey Finds Airport Wi-Fi More Important Than Food · · Score: 1

    (until the TSA classifies power strips as "choking devices")

    Could be useful for dealing with said tech addicts when your fly is due to depart.

  3. Re:Epic Advemture on Microbes 100M Years Old Found In Termite Guts · · Score: 4, Funny

    Is it just me, or does the summary read like the start of a legend that serves as prelude to an epic adventure?

    You have been disemboweled.

    Restore, Restart, or Quit?

  4. Re:NASA requires a technologically oriented manage on Obama Taps Charles Bolden To Lead NASA · · Score: 4, Funny

    his whole job was to fly questionable craft at ridiculous speeds

    He'll fit right in with the other drivers on the Beltway (I-495.)

  5. Lucky bastards on Microsoft Blocks Messenger In Five Embargoed Countries · · Score: 3, Funny

    Why stop there? I'd love Microsoft to block Messenger in Australia, too.

  6. Re:Reparations on Were Neanderthals Devoured By Humans? · · Score: 1

    I was with you on the first part... Clearly, the only decent thing to do is to resurrect the Neanderthal species as soon as we can reconstruct their DNA, then find out what they taste like.

    Tastes like pork ... or maybe chicken.

  7. Re:Ignoratio Elenchi on Scientists Create RNA From Primordial Soup · · Score: 2, Funny

    God crushing you nonbelievers with rain of sulfur and fire would settle the matter nicely.

    I'm not holding my breath though.

    I would - burning sulphur is not good for your lungs.

  8. Crysis? on First Look At Windows 7 On an Entry-Level Netbook · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Summing up: it runs, it won't win any speed competitions, you won't want to play Crysis on it, and it's pretty OK for light-duty, everyday tasks.

    Well duh - the same thing can be said about the same netbook running XP or Linux. Where's the Windows 7 RC1 review?

  9. Re:Round trick tickets? on Telepresence — Our Best Bet For Exploring Space · · Score: 1

    Put me on the first ship that isn't coming back.

    That would be the Golgafrincham Ark Fleet, Ship B.

  10. Re:Filesharing as advertising... on Reflections On the Less-Cool Effects of Filesharing · · Score: 1

    4. Buy the band's CDs and merchandise.
    5. Profit? (Maybe - but cutting out parasitic middle men helps.)

  11. Re:A secure OS for the office of HH the Dalai Lama on A Secure OS For the Dalai Lama? · · Score: 4, Funny

    That should give you 20,000 apps to leverage :)

    Does it include Enlightenment?

  12. Re:The tool is different than the intent on What the Pirate Bay Verdict Could Mean For Google · · Score: 1

    The difference is a gun is, and always is, a weapon; a crowbar is not.

  13. Re:Similar to Windows hate? on Comic Sans, Font of Ill Will · · Score: 1

    5. Profit!

  14. Re:So..... on Record-Breaking Model Rocket Launch Set For April 25 · · Score: 1

    When exactly does a model rocket become just a rocket?

    When in becomes airborne.

  15. Re:oblig..... on Creating a Low-Power Cloud With Netbook Chips · · Score: 1

    Well yes, but even Beowulf had to "FAWN" to get the grant funding for his monster hunting expedition.

  16. Re:Unfortunately I'm a Bit Skeptical on Quantum Theory May Explain Wishful Thinking · · Score: 1

    You'd probably have cat hair on those ... or not.

  17. Re:Better than a refund, and maybe not planned on Star Trek Premiere Gets Standing Ovation, Surprise Showing In Austin · · Score: 1

    The odds against must be astronomical.

    Illogical, actually.

  18. Re:Bah on Beware the Perils of Caffeine Withdrawal · · Score: 1

    I dunno; are we talking metric or imperial cups?

  19. Re:Remember the Hulk tie and the series of toobz! on Conviction of Sen. Ted Stevens Is Thrown Out · · Score: 1

    If he's too old to go to jail, he should also be too old to be a Senator (but not too old to be in a museum.)

  20. Re:All it needs is a giant Slashdotting on Could the Internet Be Taken Down In 30 Minutes? · · Score: 3, Funny

    That's because Firefox saves thar Interwebs. IE would probably give you an animated "It looks like you're trying to take down the Internet" helper.

  21. Re:End of an era on Larrabee ISA Revealed · · Score: 1

    It also turned out that EPIC CPUs are very complex and power-hunger things, and AMD64 had easily caught up with and surpassed many of the so-called advantages that Intel had touted for IA64.

    Fixed that for you.

  22. Le solution on Trick Used To Pass French "Three Strikes" · · Score: 1

    Mesdames, Messieurs - préparez le guillotine.

  23. Re:2010 on Jupiter's Great Red Spot Is Shrinking · · Score: 1

    Sure, the Americans can go along - but they can't use the toilet. Eww.

  24. Re:Yawn on The Global Warming Heretic · · Score: 1

    Just because they aren't shills or idiots doesn't mean they aren't wrong.

  25. Re:I call bullshit... on The Underappreciated Risks of Severe Space Weather · · Score: 1

    With powerlines and substations down, there's no way to switch who gets the power.

    You don't. If there's an incoming "super flare", you throw the breakers on the grid - all of them - and ride it out. No long connected wires, no dead transformers.