It was interesting that journalists were exempted from the now retracted "ban". Traditionally spooks have used journalism as a cover for their real job. Who else can go snooping around, asking politicians difficult questions? The infamous British spy, Kim Philby ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Philby ) worked for The Economist while stationed in the Middle East. Oh, but he was actually working for the Soviet Union. There must be a "in Soviet Russia, The Economist reporter works for you!" joke in there somewhere.
Other good covers for "legal" spooks are in embassies. With some silly title like "Under Secretary for Cultural Exchange." A retired spook once commented, "If you want to find a spy, look for someone in the embassy who is much too clever for his job." The office for issuing visas is another good place. Before 9/11, a colleague of mine needed to travel on business to the US. Even though there were no restrictions for his nationality, he went to the US embassy, and applied for a visa anyway. He told me that he was surprised how tough the officer grilled him: "You do not need a visa any more, so why are you applying for one?"
I laughed my ass off, and then told him that the "embassy official" probably reported to Langley.
Oh, french fries in a heavy gray, topped with cheese. Now that's real healthy! On the other hand, on a business trip to Montreal, one of the locals explained that if you were a fur trapper, hiking it up to the Hudson Bay in the winter, that fat was burned off really fast.
and beaver tails.
Whenever I chase beaver tails, it always gets me into trouble.
Was painted in a Cloak of Invisibility color from Sherwin-Williams, which is why nobody saw it. Just ask for it at your local Home Depot; they'll have it (the paint, not the plane).
... are out of cash because the world economy tanked.
Although, the Aussies do deserve some sympathy . . . I recently saw a documentary, which showed how many poisonous varmints and critters are trotting around there. I would be afraid to put my hairy ass into bed at night there.
Having no cash would be one of the least of my worries.
My favorite is some type of squid, who is tiny, but a sting of it will kill an adult human in about two minutes.
Yo. "When I say it's not safe to surf this beach, it's not safe to surf this beach, young Captain!"
I work in Germany, and was on a business trip to the US. One of my colleagues from the US asked me, "Germany? What do they produce, what industry do they have?" I answered, "Um, among other things, they manufacture cars." The discourse continued:
"What cars? What cars are made in Germany!"
"Um, like, BMW and Mercedes."
"Really? They are made in Germany?"
So Germany is using science now to produce better cars.
I saw a documentary about "innovations" in weapons. Those nasty Nazi folks invented the cruise missile. They called it the V-1. They also had plans to drop a "dirty bomb" on New York City. (Not that anyone in NYC would have noticed.)
As a pinnacle of engineering, the German rail service is planning a dubious undertaking of a major reconstruction of the main train station in the city of Stuttgart. Since the normal local folks raised cain about it, there are now open hearings to discuss this. If you can understand German, this is a hoot and a half to watch. The guy from the train service has a "shit-eating grin." Accountants from PriceWaterhouseCoopers said that, "Well, the project might be around 1 billion € underestimated."
The rail service guy drew some diagrams, and tried to explain some mathematics which were above all of the politicians' heads, with diameter of the tunnel, and pi, and price per meter of tunnel.
One of the opponents asked, "I don't want to know what the price is, per tunnel meter. What will the damn thing cost, in the end?"
The project is led by Fabiola Gianotti and involves roughly 2,000 scientists and engineers at 165 institutions in 35 countries.
As a young spud in one of my first big projects, the project manager kept dumping work one me. He told me two things: "In any big project, 5% of the people do 95% of the work." and "Work gravitates toward people who can do it."
I thought that he was trying to be funny, but now that I have 25+ years under my belt . . . I know better.
So how many of those "roughly 2,000 scientists and engineers at 165 institutions in 35 countries" are actually doing any work? Their conference calls must be a hoot and a half, and last a couple of weeks.
Another manager explained to me the difference of being "involved" in a project, and being "committed." "It's like a bacon and eggs breakfast . . . the hen was involved, the pig was committed."
I'm a canuck and would be happy to celebrate a discovery by my compatriots, but it doesn't make much sense to say the team that made this ion-shattering discovery 'included canadians' when it included a lot of other nationalities too.
Yes, but Canadians are the "special sauce" in any recipe. In my next project, I am going to insist that it "includes Canadians." Hell, Cajuns are displaced Canadians, and the whole world knows how good their cooking is: The secret ingredient? Canadians!
One of my cousins from Calgary sent me some seasoning, named "Bifteak de Montreal." It tastes fantastic, but I'm afraid to read what's in it . . .
Uh, oh, whatever happened to the Montreal Expos . . . ?
The Israeli method relies on very talented people taking a very close look at the brains of the passengers.
Anyone with half a brain would notice with a few questions, that my mother is no threat to national security.
It's pyschologically intrusive, as opposed to see-how-fat-you-are intrusive.
Actually, the folks who I have talked to (intelligent business travelers) told me that the Israeli security checks were refreshing, because they had the feeling that the Israeli security folks know what they were doing.
Hey! Did you call my Mom fat?!?!
Regardless, I don't think the TSA could hire enough people with those skills to handle the much larger (than Israel) air traffic that wanders through the US...
H-1B Visas for Israelis? Definitely a "win-win" - - -
you know: profiling. The Israeli system works as well as it does because they're ready, willing, and able to say that word out loud without collapsing in a quivering heap of politcally correct jello.
Where are my mod points when I need them?
The current administration prefers to have Grandma groped and full-body-scanned because the alternative is to talk - out loud - about how judgement about people would be required.
Hey, both of my Grandmas could have knocked out Mike Tyson! OK, they did use brass-knuckles.
Yeah, judgement about people implies intelligence . . . "say no more . .."
... some dumbasses from FedEx delivered me radioactive rods, instead of blood diamonds. The Princess was not amused, and said that a necklace of radioactive rods would not get her a place on Dancing with the Stars!
The royal physician snooped around with his Geiger counter, before screaming "Holy fucking shit! Jesus fucking Christ!" He then proceeded to get his hairy ass out of the Royal Quarters.
If anyone is interested in buying radioactive bars, please send me your bank account IDs, passwords, and anything else that you shouldn't send to strangers.
I watched a documentary about the Boers in South Africa. The film said that most folks had three muskets on their horse, and could reload them in the saddle. There is no need for those UAVs... a Boer on a horse can handle your poacher problems.
Since the UK doesn't have freedom of speech like here in the US
From what I read in The Economist I think I understand that libel laws are more strict in the UK. On the other hand, from what I read in Viz I would assume that the UK had no libel laws. Oh, one time they did issue a retraction for a comic strip titled, Thieving Gypsy Bastards.
This comment raised an interesting question for me: The folks in the US tossed out the Brits around 1776+. But the UK ruled half of the world for a long time. Did any other countries chase them out? Rhodesia comes to mind, but what about Canada and Australia?
Please, this is not meant in any offense to anyone from the UK, I'm just curious . . . and stupid!
Way back in the '60s, I flew as a child alone from scenic Philadelphia up to Toronto. My parents walked me up to the boarding gate. After that a smiling stewardess took me by hand to my seat, and said, "Don't be afraid."
Nowadays, my parents would be carted off to Guantanamo, while security officials zapped my balls with a cattle prod.
And I look as WASPish as you can get.
Anyway, traveling by airplanes now means answering Alcatraz questions like, "Are you trying to smuggle in a file (the metal one, dumbass!) in a cake, to help the convict escape?" No fun, no more.
On the other hand, the last time I flew to the US, I did first class from Frankfurt to Philadelphia. The stewardess asked me if I was feeling ok (because I looked like something the cat dragged in). When I answered that I was traveling to the US because of an illness in the family, she told me to ask her if I needed anything. I will fly with them, USAirWays, if I ever have to fly again.
It's amazing how being polite, and asking questions can influence you . . .
It turns a miserable flight, into a pleasant one . . .
When my computer is screaming, "Porn, porn . . . and more porn!"
"Oh, it must be a problem with the new mouse, that is about to go meet its maker."
"Where's my hammer . . . ?"
Re:The best way to avoid all that anxiety ...
on
Anxiety and IT?
·
· Score: 2, Funny
.. is to do it so things work.
Unfortunately, there is always some "loose nut behind the keyboard." Nothing can be made foolproof, "because fools are so ingenious."
Customer: "My computer don't work no more!"
IT Guy: "Did you change anything?"
Customer: "No, not at all!"
IT Guy: "Well, it looks like someone bashed the display in with a hammer, poured Mountain Dew on the keyboard, poured gasoline on the motherboard, and lit it on fire."
Customer: "It seemed to be acting slow, so I thought it might have had a virus . .."
The difference between managers and workers
on
Anxiety and IT?
·
· Score: 3, Insightful
The workers care about the stuff that they do, and get anxiety about it. Managers don't give a rat's ass, and have no anxiety.
The hallmark of a good executive, is that he can turn his problems, into yours.
Disclaimer: I’m Canadian, so my view of this whole color coded terror alert thing may be a bit off.
Canadians have it easy with color codes: "Don't eat yellow snow!"
Who wants this information. What are they going to do with it? Lets say we are a financial institution and our terror alert is high.. what does this mean to us? How does it change our activities for today? What threat specific info would be useful in guiding us?
The terror color codes of the day are purple and green. Dress up today in you Barney the Dinosaur costumes.
I had to give a deposition on the IBM / SCO case, since I had access to AIX source code, and also worked for their Linux Technology center. Damn good folks! The lawyer worked for a law firm with a 5th Avenue address in New York City. Although he talked very polite with me, I had the feeling that he could skin me alive, if necessary.
Someone I knew during my university days in scenic New Jersey painted "666" on his forehead, and walked into the local 24-hour Wawa market (it's like a Kwik-E-Mart) at the middle of the night. Some Schlaumeyer grabbed two loaves of French bread (baguettes), and put them in a cross shape. Then he yelled, "Back! Back!"
You have been warned. If your cat starts wearing jack-boots, and "gets into leather," watch out!
but he also caught and killed about a half dozen rabbits.
Our cat didn't kill baby bunny rabbits, but would capture and torture them. The cat would lay down and lounge next to the rabbit. As soon as the rabbit tried to run away, she would jump up. and catch the rabbit again.
A pair of aggressive Blue-Jays wanted to build a nest near our house, and started attacking our cat. I got a school friend to come over with a.22 and bird-shot. That solved the problem.
On the other hand, some red-breasted robins built a nest, in a Japanese Cherry tree, right next to our dining room window. That was real cool to see how the birds fed their chicks. And they never attacked the cat.
Wouldn't it be nice to tell the public BEFORE you let the coyotes run wild?
Are you insinuating that Chicago, is in the wild?
Most folks these days are either depressed or unemployed. Having a coyote bite your leg off, as opposed to a pit bull, is a welcome change from the boring daily grind.
Most folks would probably not even realize that it was a coyote.
"I dunno. It kinda sorta looked like a dog. But it did bite me!"
Because cats just sit around all day on their fat asses, and can't be bothered with doing anything, until they turn up their noses at the can of tuna fish that you opened.
Chicago probably has plenty of cats . . . they just prefer Cat Chow as opposed to having to trot out of the house to hunt for their meal, like the rest of us.
On the other hand, every time that humans try to transplant varmints and critters into someplace that they don't belong . . . it always ends in tears . . .
Slashdot Mirror
It was interesting that journalists were exempted from the now retracted "ban". Traditionally spooks have used journalism as a cover for their real job. Who else can go snooping around, asking politicians difficult questions? The infamous British spy, Kim Philby ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Philby ) worked for The Economist while stationed in the Middle East. Oh, but he was actually working for the Soviet Union. There must be a "in Soviet Russia, The Economist reporter works for you!" joke in there somewhere.
Other good covers for "legal" spooks are in embassies. With some silly title like "Under Secretary for Cultural Exchange." A retired spook once commented, "If you want to find a spy, look for someone in the embassy who is much too clever for his job." The office for issuing visas is another good place. Before 9/11, a colleague of mine needed to travel on business to the US. Even though there were no restrictions for his nationality, he went to the US embassy, and applied for a visa anyway. He told me that he was surprised how tough the officer grilled him: "You do not need a visa any more, so why are you applying for one?"
I laughed my ass off, and then told him that the "embassy official" probably reported to Langley.
Don't forget poutine
Oh, french fries in a heavy gray, topped with cheese. Now that's real healthy! On the other hand, on a business trip to Montreal, one of the locals explained that if you were a fur trapper, hiking it up to the Hudson Bay in the winter, that fat was burned off really fast.
and beaver tails.
Whenever I chase beaver tails, it always gets me into trouble.
Was painted in a Cloak of Invisibility color from Sherwin-Williams, which is why nobody saw it. Just ask for it at your local Home Depot; they'll have it (the paint, not the plane).
Probably.
I would say its a DB2 Admin, Informatica specialist, Z/OS development specialist and the batch file creator. Most batch jobs just run.
Funny, but when I hear z/OS and batch jobs, I think JCL . . . and then I run away . . .
... are out of cash because the world economy tanked.
Although, the Aussies do deserve some sympathy . . . I recently saw a documentary, which showed how many poisonous varmints and critters are trotting around there. I would be afraid to put my hairy ass into bed at night there.
Having no cash would be one of the least of my worries.
My favorite is some type of squid, who is tiny, but a sting of it will kill an adult human in about two minutes.
Yo. "When I say it's not safe to surf this beach, it's not safe to surf this beach, young Captain!"
I work in Germany, and was on a business trip to the US. One of my colleagues from the US asked me, "Germany? What do they produce, what industry do they have?" I answered, "Um, among other things, they manufacture cars." The discourse continued:
"What cars? What cars are made in Germany!"
"Um, like, BMW and Mercedes."
"Really? They are made in Germany?"
So Germany is using science now to produce better cars.
I saw a documentary about "innovations" in weapons. Those nasty Nazi folks invented the cruise missile. They called it the V-1. They also had plans to drop a "dirty bomb" on New York City. (Not that anyone in NYC would have noticed.)
As a pinnacle of engineering, the German rail service is planning a dubious undertaking of a major reconstruction of the main train station in the city of Stuttgart. Since the normal local folks raised cain about it, there are now open hearings to discuss this. If you can understand German, this is a hoot and a half to watch. The guy from the train service has a "shit-eating grin." Accountants from PriceWaterhouseCoopers said that, "Well, the project might be around 1 billion € underestimated."
The rail service guy drew some diagrams, and tried to explain some mathematics which were above all of the politicians' heads, with diameter of the tunnel, and pi, and price per meter of tunnel.
One of the opponents asked, "I don't want to know what the price is, per tunnel meter. What will the damn thing cost, in the end?"
The project is led by Fabiola Gianotti and involves roughly 2,000 scientists and engineers at 165 institutions in 35 countries.
As a young spud in one of my first big projects, the project manager kept dumping work one me. He told me two things: "In any big project, 5% of the people do 95% of the work." and "Work gravitates toward people who can do it."
I thought that he was trying to be funny, but now that I have 25+ years under my belt . . . I know better.
So how many of those "roughly 2,000 scientists and engineers at 165 institutions in 35 countries" are actually doing any work? Their conference calls must be a hoot and a half, and last a couple of weeks.
Another manager explained to me the difference of being "involved" in a project, and being "committed." "It's like a bacon and eggs breakfast . . . the hen was involved, the pig was committed."
I'm a canuck and would be happy to celebrate a discovery by my compatriots, but it doesn't make much sense to say the team that made this ion-shattering discovery 'included canadians' when it included a lot of other nationalities too.
Yes, but Canadians are the "special sauce" in any recipe. In my next project, I am going to insist that it "includes Canadians." Hell, Cajuns are displaced Canadians, and the whole world knows how good their cooking is: The secret ingredient? Canadians!
One of my cousins from Calgary sent me some seasoning, named "Bifteak de Montreal." It tastes fantastic, but I'm afraid to read what's in it . . .
Uh, oh, whatever happened to the Montreal Expos . . . ?
The Israeli method relies on very talented people taking a very close look at the brains of the passengers.
Anyone with half a brain would notice with a few questions, that my mother is no threat to national security.
It's pyschologically intrusive, as opposed to see-how-fat-you-are intrusive.
Actually, the folks who I have talked to (intelligent business travelers) told me that the Israeli security checks were refreshing, because they had the feeling that the Israeli security folks know what they were doing.
Hey! Did you call my Mom fat?!?!
Regardless, I don't think the TSA could hire enough people with those skills to handle the much larger (than Israel) air traffic that wanders through the US. ..
H-1B Visas for Israelis? Definitely a "win-win" - - -
you know: profiling. The Israeli system works as well as it does because they're ready, willing, and able to say that word out loud without collapsing in a quivering heap of politcally correct jello.
Where are my mod points when I need them?
The current administration prefers to have Grandma groped and full-body-scanned because the alternative is to talk - out loud - about how judgement about people would be required.
Hey, both of my Grandmas could have knocked out Mike Tyson! OK, they did use brass-knuckles.
Yeah, judgement about people implies intelligence . . . "say no more . . ."
... some dumbasses from FedEx delivered me radioactive rods, instead of blood diamonds. The Princess was not amused, and said that a necklace of radioactive rods would not get her a place on Dancing with the Stars!
The royal physician snooped around with his Geiger counter, before screaming "Holy fucking shit! Jesus fucking Christ!" He then proceeded to get his hairy ass out of the Royal Quarters.
If anyone is interested in buying radioactive bars, please send me your bank account IDs, passwords, and anything else that you shouldn't send to strangers.
I watched a documentary about the Boers in South Africa. The film said that most folks had three muskets on their horse, and could reload them in the saddle. There is no need for those UAVs ... a Boer on a horse can handle your poacher problems.
Since the UK doesn't have freedom of speech like here in the US
From what I read in The Economist I think I understand that libel laws are more strict in the UK. On the other hand, from what I read in Viz I would assume that the UK had no libel laws. Oh, one time they did issue a retraction for a comic strip titled, Thieving Gypsy Bastards.
This comment raised an interesting question for me: The folks in the US tossed out the Brits around 1776+. But the UK ruled half of the world for a long time. Did any other countries chase them out? Rhodesia comes to mind, but what about Canada and Australia?
Please, this is not meant in any offense to anyone from the UK, I'm just curious . . . and stupid!
"What is the number of your life insurance policy?"
Way back in the '60s, I flew as a child alone from scenic Philadelphia up to Toronto. My parents walked me up to the boarding gate. After that a smiling stewardess took me by hand to my seat, and said, "Don't be afraid."
Nowadays, my parents would be carted off to Guantanamo, while security officials zapped my balls with a cattle prod.
And I look as WASPish as you can get.
Anyway, traveling by airplanes now means answering Alcatraz questions like, "Are you trying to smuggle in a file (the metal one, dumbass!) in a cake, to help the convict escape?" No fun, no more.
On the other hand, the last time I flew to the US, I did first class from Frankfurt to Philadelphia. The stewardess asked me if I was feeling ok (because I looked like something the cat dragged in). When I answered that I was traveling to the US because of an illness in the family, she told me to ask her if I needed anything. I will fly with them, USAirWays, if I ever have to fly again.
It's amazing how being polite, and asking questions can influence you . . .
It turns a miserable flight, into a pleasant one . . .
Emotive uses brain waves to operate machines.
When my computer is screaming, "Porn, porn . . . and more porn!"
"Oh, it must be a problem with the new mouse, that is about to go meet its maker."
"Where's my hammer . . . ?"
.. is to do it so things work.
Unfortunately, there is always some "loose nut behind the keyboard." Nothing can be made foolproof, "because fools are so ingenious."
Customer: "My computer don't work no more!"
IT Guy: "Did you change anything?"
Customer: "No, not at all!"
IT Guy: "Well, it looks like someone bashed the display in with a hammer, poured Mountain Dew on the keyboard, poured gasoline on the motherboard, and lit it on fire."
Customer: "It seemed to be acting slow, so I thought it might have had a virus . . ."
The workers care about the stuff that they do, and get anxiety about it. Managers don't give a rat's ass, and have no anxiety.
The hallmark of a good executive, is that he can turn his problems, into yours.
Disclaimer: I’m Canadian, so my view of this whole color coded terror alert thing may be a bit off.
Canadians have it easy with color codes: "Don't eat yellow snow!"
Who wants this information. What are they going to do with it? Lets say we are a financial institution and our terror alert is high.. what does this mean to us? How does it change our activities for today? What threat specific info would be useful in guiding us?
The terror color codes of the day are purple and green. Dress up today in you Barney the Dinosaur costumes.
I had to give a deposition on the IBM / SCO case, since I had access to AIX source code, and also worked for their Linux Technology center. Damn good folks! The lawyer worked for a law firm with a 5th Avenue address in New York City. Although he talked very polite with me, I had the feeling that he could skin me alive, if necessary.
Hey, sue IBM! No, bad idea.
... next Slashdot will tell me that the universe has AIDS, and that whoever has been banging the univerise has AIDS now too.
I'm looking at you, God! Couldn't you have created a pair of pants to wear on the eighth day, to keep you out of trouble?
Once I put the trash out late at night. A wild looking dog challenged me for the can.
I thought "He doesn't know", and marked my territory with apple cider vinegar in a spray bottle. He left.
You're supposed to say, "Yo! Mayor Daley, do you want to come in for a drink?"
Someone I knew during my university days in scenic New Jersey painted "666" on his forehead, and walked into the local 24-hour Wawa market (it's like a Kwik-E-Mart) at the middle of the night. Some Schlaumeyer grabbed two loaves of French bread (baguettes), and put them in a cross shape. Then he yelled, "Back! Back!"
At least one person in the store got the joke.
Some cats. Not my cat.
I think cats have bigger plans: http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/cgi-bin/seigmiaow.pl
You have been warned. If your cat starts wearing jack-boots, and "gets into leather," watch out!
but he also caught and killed about a half dozen rabbits.
Our cat didn't kill baby bunny rabbits, but would capture and torture them. The cat would lay down and lounge next to the rabbit. As soon as the rabbit tried to run away, she would jump up. and catch the rabbit again.
A pair of aggressive Blue-Jays wanted to build a nest near our house, and started attacking our cat. I got a school friend to come over with a .22 and bird-shot. That solved the problem.
On the other hand, some red-breasted robins built a nest, in a Japanese Cherry tree, right next to our dining room window. That was real cool to see how the birds fed their chicks. And they never attacked the cat.
Wouldn't it be nice to tell the public BEFORE you let the coyotes run wild?
Are you insinuating that Chicago, is in the wild?
Most folks these days are either depressed or unemployed. Having a coyote bite your leg off, as opposed to a pit bull, is a welcome change from the boring daily grind.
Most folks would probably not even realize that it was a coyote.
"I dunno. It kinda sorta looked like a dog. But it did bite me!"
Why didn't they just use cats??
Because cats just sit around all day on their fat asses, and can't be bothered with doing anything, until they turn up their noses at the can of tuna fish that you opened.
Chicago probably has plenty of cats . . . they just prefer Cat Chow as opposed to having to trot out of the house to hunt for their meal, like the rest of us.
On the other hand, every time that humans try to transplant varmints and critters into someplace that they don't belong . . . it always ends in tears . . .