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User: PolygamousRanchKid+

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Comments · 5,436

  1. Re:Sombrero party time on FBI Forced To Release 18 Hours of Spy Plane Footage (vice.com) · · Score: 1

    The DHS bans sombreros. And Guy Fawkes masks.

    Game over.

    Actually, something like this was done in modern Germany about 20 years ago. (I'm American, but am fluent in German). Protesters are banned from masking themselves.

  2. Re: "the Captain Kirkiest stage entrance ever made on Star Trek Convention Celebrates The Show's 50th Anniversary (cnet.com) · · Score: 2

    Hey, you get 1,000 Quatloos for that post . . . and the tin foil bikini.

    And the "training harness".

    Best Star Trek episode for making crude drunken dubious jokes EVAR . . .

  3. Re:Who needs elections on 32 States Offer Online Voting, But Experts Warn It Isn't Secure (bostonglobe.com) · · Score: 1

    just put up a Facebook page and see who gets the more Like.

    Actually, it would be fairly amusing to set up Slashdot polls on Congress votes instead. Kinda sorta like a "Shadow Congress". Subsidies for bow and arrow manufactures in Oregon? No thanks. Support for aardvark ranchers in Arkansas? No, we'll skip on that one as well.

    A plan to drop Cowboy Neal into North Korea with an H-bomb instead of a parachute on his back? That one works!

  4. In the Sprawlmart parking lot . . . on The New F-35 Is So Stealthy, It's Harder To Train Pilots (airforcetimes.com) · · Score: 5, Funny

    So the F-35 pilot exits Sprawlmart, and looks around for his plane.

    I know I parked it here . . . but I just can't see it anywhere!

  5. These mosquitoes can't bite people - they're males.

    I think that we need to leave mosquitoes some time to think about their gender. Do they want to bite folks in the women's toilets? Or in the men's toilets?

    They can't reproduce due to their sterility.

    Who knows . . . ? When we start mucking around with their DNA, who knows what will happen . . . ?

  6. Re:Cat Detector vans on BBC To Deploy Detection Vans To Snoop On Internet Users (telegraph.co.uk) · · Score: 1

    Will be next, to make sure you have a license for your cats......

    Will be next, to make sure you have a license for your cats......

    Will be next, to make sure you have a license for your cats......

    I need a license for my fish named "Eric" , , , "Eric the fish".

    In High School in the scenic USA, I attended optional driving courses to prepare for a "Driving License" test.

    So in the UK, you apparently need a license to watch TV. What does the test to get a "TV License" look like?

    When a commercial break comes on, go to the toilet and/or grab some grub out of the refrigerator.

    There is always a CSI and or Law and Order episode running somewhere. Just zap around long enough to find it.

    TV roulette is rigged. No one wins. Only the TV sender.

  7. Re:Not just a flag, surely! on North Korea Hopes To Plant Flag On The Moon Within 10 Years (ap.org) · · Score: 4, Funny

    I propose planting Kim Jong-un on the moon.

    I propose planting the flag up Kim Jong-un's moon.

    There are probably some jokes hidden in this topic about the "Moonies" ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... ), but nobody here is old enough to remember them.

  8. Time for a Slashdot Poll . . . on Britain's Scientists Are 'Freaking Out' Over Brexit (washingtonpost.com) · · Score: 4, Funny

    I am a British scientist and am freaking out.

    I am a British scientist and am not freaking out.

    I have nothing to do with the EU and don't give a rat's ass about the whole matter.

    I am from Scotland and the English can go shave the Queen's.

  9. Actually, I was disappointed that the hackers only posted political messages.

    I would have gone with the classic insult: "Pho You!".

  10. Re:Again with this? on America Uses Stealthy Submarines To Hack Other Countries' Systems (washingtonpost.com) · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Because it's easier to go on about Trump then accept the reality of what Clinton has done so far with power.

    Folks go on about Trump, because he's a bit of a loose canon.

    However, there is one good thing about a loose canon . . . it will clear the deck and this is something Washington DC badly needs. Clear the deck of the government.

  11. Re:The Curse of Babylon 5 on Babylon 5 Actor Jerry Doyle Dies (dailymail.co.uk) · · Score: 1

    Jerry Doyle - Died 2016, aged 60
    Michael O'Hare - Died 2012, aged 60
    Jeff Conaway - Died 2011, aged 60
    Andreas Katsulas - Died 2006, aged 59
    Richard Biggs - Died 2004, aged 44
    Tim Choate - Died 2004, aged 49

    *

    Didn't we learn the other day, that deep spacemen die early from heart disease . . . ?

    I guess that it now applies to actors, who play roles as deep space astronauts.

  12. Drunken Monkey Boxer Style Kung Fu on Uber Doesn't Decrease Drunk Driving, Finds New Study (washingtonpost.com) · · Score: 1

    Well, I am a longtime fan of excellent ridiculous Kung Fu films from the Hong Kong Shaw brothers from the 70's for years.

    One of their theme was "Drunken Boxer Style" : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

    The hero gets tanked up . . . or pretends to get tanked up, and then defeats the bad guy with his unpredictable movements.

    What works for Kung Fu, should also work on the road . . . so Drunken Driver Style is definitely in!

  13. In Canada we use standardized paper ballots across the nation. They're counted manually in each poll.

    So what happens with the manually counted votes afterwards . . . ? They get entered into a computer system somewhere.

    Back to square one.

  14. Re:Hell, we're not even allowed to verify *WHO* vo on Bruce Schneier: Our Election Systems Must Be Secured If We Want To Stop Foreign Hackers (schneier.com) · · Score: 1

    HOW THE HELL CAN YOU EVEN KNOW IF THERE'S FRAUD WHEN YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO VERIFY WHO VOTES?!?!

    In scenic Camden, New Jersey, lots of folks who have been dead for years still vote. I think that is very liberally progressive from Camden, New Jersey, that they let Zombies vote.

  15. Re:This raises a good question on Judge Rules Political Robocalls Are Protected By First Amendment (onthewire.io) · · Score: 2

    Does this mean that robots are protected under the U.S. Constitution?

    Can they vote for the candidate they are calling for?

    Well, I guess that means our next President will be . . . Bender!

  16. Re:What's the problem? on British Spy Agency GCHQ Used URL Shortener To Honeypot Arab Spring Activists (vice.com) · · Score: 1

    Go home, Donald, you're drunk.

    Hey, I think you have a good idea here! A debate between Donald and Hilary promises to be both viscous and boring.

    Let's add a new rule, that would require each candidate to drink a shot of Tequila after answering each question.

    After an hour, the debate would be both entertaining, and a hoot and a half!

    Let's make that happen!

  17. Re: Cue the idiots on FBI Probes Hacking of Democratic Congressional Group (reuters.com) · · Score: 1

    Just because Trump asked Russia to do this, and Russian hackers did this doesn't mean there's a causal relationship.

    Nah, Trump hacked this himself alone. He already said, "Only I alone can hack this!"

    Hillary said that, "We can all hack this together!"

    What wonderful election choices we have . . .

  18. A router losing data? Ya, right.

    "Teacher, I couldn't do my homework last night, because our dog ate the router."

    "And the cat ate my gym suit."

  19. The problem is . . . Monsanto will claim Intellectual Property rights to GMO humans. So they will be forced to pay tribute Monsanto for the rest of their lives.

    And, Monsanto being Monsanto . . . GMO humans will have to pay, even after their death.

  20. Well, in case you are creative, I'm still looking for misspellings of Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton.

    For Trump, maybe something like "McDonald's Trumps" . . . little cocktail sausages . . . ?

    For Clinton, maybe their are some kind of pickles named something close to "Clintons" . . . ?

  21. My brain didn't come with free will . . . it has an EULA.

  22. But only after a couple of months go by.

    >

    The new Microsoft CEO Satay Nutella probably also has a bonus tied to this . . . so wait a while, and Microsoft will be giving them away . . . just so Satay Nutella can meet his installations goal . . . .

  23. Microsoft has gone into Gollum mode with Windows 10

    Nothing creepy at all . . . it's simple greed. The new Microsoft CEO, Satya Nutella, obviously has a bonus tied to Windows 10 installations.

    Just wait until December. Microsoft will be sending out folks to your home, to give you a free PC with Windows 10 installed on it. Just to boost the installation numbers over the goal line for Satya Nutella.

    That's the gag with Windows 10 Telemetry . . . Microsoft can always know how many PCs are running it. So Satya Nutella can't fudge the numbers.

  24. Re:Candidate Who Won't Win a Single Precinct on Jill Stein Pledges To Pardon Snowden and Appoint Him To Her Cabinet (zerohedge.com) · · Score: 2

    makes campaign promise she will never have to fulfill. Film at 11. :rolleyes: Snowden should be pardoned, but this would only be credible coming from one of the two mainstream candidates.

    The government in the USA has been carefully crafted and evolved into a two party system. Both the Democrats and Republicans like it that way, and have no reason to change that.

    Hell, 10% of the country could vote Green, and what representation would they get? Nothing.

    Even Bernie just sold out to Clinton. When she gets elected, all assurances she made to Bernie will get flushed down the toilet.

    Can we somehow bring in Dave Cameron as a "dark horse" candidate? I know, he wasn't born as a USA citizen, but these days, it seems everything stated in the Constitution can be fudged.

  25. Re:Because independent variables are easier on Do You Have A Living Doppelgänger? (bbc.com) · · Score: 1

    What do you mean people don't come with both ears on one side of the head?

    Take a look at something from Picasso

    Next thing you know, someone's going to tell me the nose always comes between the eyes!

    Again, Picasso. I think he painted one where the nose was in the armpit.