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User: CorporateSuit

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Comments · 973

  1. Re:this can't be right on Oldest Skeleton In New World Discovered · · Score: 1

    Congratulations, you made it through the first sentence. You are operating on at least a [2nd]-grade reading level.

  2. Ever Vigilant on Shadow Analysis Could Spot Terrorists · · Score: 4, Funny

    Watching 6-7 billion people walk is out of the question for the satellites to cover. So, they specialize in spotting certain gaits before zeroing in and analyzing. Specifically, long, low strides, with one arm out in front, bent at the elbow, sashing a cape (possibly hiding a round, long-fused bomb). The other hand, if twirling a long moustache or rubbing the front brim of a black fedora, will tip off the satellite that it is, in fact, looking at a villain. The tracking of shifty eyes and maniacal cackling were removed for technological shortcomings... and the satellites kept targeting congress.

    During testing, the engineers were proud to report the satellite alarmed them to several instances of women being tied to railroad tracks, banks being robbed, and suckers being stolen from infants. When a satellite makes a positive match to one of these terrorists, it will broadcast staccato piano music in a minor key to the area. Citizens are expected to boo and hiss these men if the satellites begin alerting them of their terrorist ways.

  3. Re:Don't be silly on Google Updates Chrome's Terms of Service · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't forget their HR department. When I applied at Google, things were going pretty well until I started searching for things like: Farting on Coworkers. Forging a Resume. Stealing Company Secrets. Where can I get a plague rat in Santa Monica? AIDS tests in Santa Monica. California Law and 'giving AIDS to coworkers'. Can I get arrested for giving AIDS to my coworkers? Can Google be brought down from the inside? How to bring down a company from the inside. Define: Arson.

  4. Re:Speaking as a Hiring Manager... on Should IT Unionize? · · Score: 1

    While I agree with most of your points, the H1B Visa shortage is a problem. If our companies are going to put for the time and effort to educate and train these people, let us put them to work when they're finally ready to milk. Immigration will happen. Either it will be 100% law-breaking run-ins that will sponge off the system their entire lives, living in clusters (driving up real estate) and taking jobs from the prolitariat (lowering pay) or it will be the educated, corporate-minded individuals who are willing to learn the language and abide by US law. Guess which ones get kicked out of the country? Is this good for businesses or the economy?

    It's not a matter of whether they can do a job better than a native citizen, it's a matter of whether they'll work side by side with them, contributing to society, instead of running underground and feeding off the gutters of it.

    I'm all for letting in those huddle masses, as long as they're here to work like the rest of us. That's what made America great. When even one diamond emerges from the rough, he can change our entire society for the better. Why should we ask those with potential to leave when they've come with a mind to work harder than anyone else?

  5. Re:this can't be right on Oldest Skeleton In New World Discovered · · Score: 0

    First off, the bible is not the only text written to support creationism. Most ancient, religious texts do, but for the sake of argument, we'll just focus on the one book:

    The book's longevity through its endeavors is evidence. The Hebrews employed the least powerful military machines against some of the most powerful nations of any time (refusing to even use chariots), and marched through most of them with much weaker numbers - just to show that the weak could consistently obliterate the strong under their banner. Their captivities were always foretold and forewarned before they would actually lose a battle -- and their records survived every captivity, despite attempts at cultural and religious integration. Their release from captivity was equally prophesied (Cyrus's name, for example, was expressly called by Isaiah hundreds of years before he was ever born) and there are contemporary accounts on clay tablets that the surrounding empires were watching the handful of Hebrews going wherever they wanted, killing anything that got in their way. If any evidence for non-creationism has withstood the harshest environments for 8,000 years, then feel free to submit it on equal terms as counter-evidence, until then, your theory is just an upstart in comparison.

    Now, does this evidence equate to proof? No, because the Hindu texts (and possibly the Egyptian Book fo the Dead), though they did not go through quite the same attempted extinguishing as the New and Old Testaments, have stood the test of time even longer than the bible (being written before the 5 books of Moses) and they describes the tale of a different god(s), of whose existence the Jewish texts refute. So, the longevity has its contenders, but it still stands as evidence.

    And the "small percentage of [people]" would be the 20% of western society that think the bible is fables. I omitted the word "crackpot" because insulting those who disagree with you never makes you right, despite the tactic's popularity.

  6. Re:Silly. on Oldest Skeleton In New World Discovered · · Score: 1

    I see you read a lot of Richard Dawkins.

  7. Re:Uhm, secure? on Changing Customers Password Without Consent · · Score: 1

    90% of the working world has employees that can see customer passwords. The world isn't composed of unemployed slashdotters who never have any reason to access customer/client information.

    If I told a Fortune 500 exec that I can't remind him what his password was for an account with my company, he'd think I was retarded. Typically, people with money would rather be reminded of what their password is in the 1 second it would take than have you reset it and send them some gibberish password they'll have to change (or send them somewhere else to reset their password). They have enough at risk to recognize security is more or less an illusion over apathy. Inconvenience, however, is not.

    tl;dr: hashing passwords is popular on slashdot, not so much in real life.

  8. Re:Pot kettle on Phil Zimmermann Replies To CNet On Biden · · Score: 2, Funny

    I, for one, would ask them if their suits were waterproof. If they asked "why" I'd say something to the effect of "Otherwise, you might want to change your clothes before you go jump in the lake" and tell them, in no uncertain terms, to leave the property.

    Being confrontational with imposing authority is a family trait. Outward threats, of course, only make it worse. There are places for teachers, but not for bullies.

  9. Re:Pot kettle on Phil Zimmermann Replies To CNet On Biden · · Score: 1

    There was a lot of content in that bill that was quality, but the indemnity was stuck in much the same way that any other earmark or pet project is stuck in, this one just got more publicity

    Every person in that room not only had the right, but the responsibility to vote "Nay" for a bill that tacks on [more than] one blatant violation of our Bill of Rights. If there are good things that are written in a bill, but it's caked in unconstitutionality, you vote "Nay" and then write your own bill with just the good things.

    Bills aren't copyrighted or patented. They don't come with EULAs, NDAs, or any DRM. In that room, they are alterable. They can, and should be fixed before being passed. Obama didn't have the balls to stand up for the only thing he's paid to stand up for. McCain didn't vote against it either, and that leaves him just as guilty. The FISA bill did one good thing, it proved to the entire country that neither man is capable or qualified to take oath as president at this point. It's juts too bad that doesn't seem to have even slowed the machine.

  10. Simply Enough... on "E For All" Game Expo Withers, PAX Thrives · · Score: 1

    E3 died when it became a conference instead of an Expo

  11. Have you seen this chicken? on Paralyzed Man Walks Again Using Exoskeleton · · Score: 5, Funny

    They're the wrong trousers Gromit!

  12. Re:Simple introduction... on LHC Fully Documented Online · · Score: 1

    Finding the Higg's Boson is the big prize

    I thought the Hadron Collider was after the Bonre particle...

  13. I knew it! on DNA Bar Coding Finds Mislabeled Sushi · · Score: 1

    There was always something fishy about those sushi restaurants!

  14. Re:Proud? on Diebold Admits Ohio Machines May Lose Votes · · Score: 1, Insightful

    Personally, I protest weekly in my town

    Way to jade the listeners. Protesting is synonymous with complaining. It doesn't actually DO anything. Petitions (not the online kind) for propositions, ballots, recalls, elections, nominations, donations, gaining any kind of personal political influence and the like are effective. Being the obnoxious minority is not. There are protests going on every day in the United States, and how many of them have mattered in our 230 year history? 1? When you see Pakistanis burning American flags in the streets and screaming and shooting guns into the air because you are a godless heathen, does that cause you to sympathize with them, or make you want to tell them to shut the hell up?

    Politicians see protesters as people who have too much time on their hands to be making any real money, and therefore are the non-influencial and unimportant. There are stronger, quieter avenues that they do fear and respect and are just as accessible to the public as a soap box.

    That said, keep fighting the good fight, I only suggest you devote your energies to more productive channels of respect and influence than being loud or otherwise bothersome. Maybe start by running for city counsel, or supporting someone sympathetic to your cause to run.

  15. Re:Game piracy is a bit different on RIAA Exec Moves Over To Gaming Industry · · Score: 1

    The point of the post was: Don't try to push piracy as the bad guy when the industries mistreat their crews and employees. By saying "Think of the sound engineers!" that's exactly what your post was doing. I'm not justifying piracy, but to say that I owe it to a sound engineer who's already been paid is the "bullshit rationalization."

  16. Re:Game piracy is a bit different on RIAA Exec Moves Over To Gaming Industry · · Score: 2, Insightful

    I hope you realize that much like a Sid Meier game, a Britney Spears album has a whole lot of talented folks behind the scenes who would like to get paid for the work that they do.

    If they're not getting paid for what they do, they should complain to the RIAA and then quit. It's not my job to feed the undeserving mouths of today's pathetic entertainment industry. The crews should be asking for enough money to satisfy their needs during production, not some foggy purchase-based commission which consumer tastes will affect. Bonuses when a record goes gold, perhaps, but he should get all the money he earned before I ever have the chance to download "LudeThaCros - More Beats and Bumps (feat Missy Screeches and Daddy Yeah).mp3"

    You know? Like every single other industry since the 1800's.

  17. Re:Uh, what? on Do Subatomic Particles Have Free Will? · · Score: 1

    There is even more evidence that the brain is part of the human.

  18. No grey goo on Self-Growing Material Opens Chip, Storage Advances · · Score: 5, Informative

    In this case, growing is referring to the opposite of "shrinking", that when the fabric is charged with electricity like a semiconductor would be, the molecules move from a deflated form to an expanded semiconductor to perform that role. Basically, they're using molecular chains that can perform more than one function, depending on its stimulus. When it says "Self-assembling", It's not talking about self-building, rather self-organizing. It will not build spare parts for your computer out of dust bunnies and bogons.

  19. I've done this one a hundred times on How Can You Measure a Wiki's Worth? · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Many Moons (I apologize for the hosting company in advance, the site is not mine) is a childrens' story everyone in IT, Sales, and Marketing should familiarize themselves with.

    The truth of the matter is: You're asking the wrong people. You should be asking the suits what they would imagine in a report and what kinds of numbers they're looking for. If they're general and obtuse, tell them straight up they'll get a general report, or just make up numbers to keep them happy. Create a widget they can access from their desk that shows them numbers generated from the database that hardly matter. Does it matter what you deliver if they don't know what they want?

    They're trying to imagine some great power-point presentation you'll be showing with pie charts and red/green/yellow/blue graphs popping out and wowing them? Make it so. They're trying to imagine a spreadsheet? Easier and more concise. They just want a status report at the end of the day on what percentage of the documentation has been migrated? You can probably get away with a few page count written on a napkin.

    Remember the Alice's conversation with the Cheshire cat:
    "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
    "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
    "I don't much care where -" said Alice.
    "Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.

  20. Preferences are stable? on Password Resets Worse Than Reusing Old password · · Score: 5, Funny

    Bridgekeeper: Stop. What is your name?
    Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
    Bridgekeeper: What is your quest?
    Galahad: I seek the Grail.
    Bridgekeeper: What is your favourite colour?
    Galahad: Blue. No, yel...

  21. Re:Garbage on Let the Games Be Doped · · Score: 1

    Playing the game for it's own sake goes out the window the second you start paying a athlete. As long as your paycheck depends on winning your not going to play for the love of the game.

    Perhaps the same could be said of programming or engineering.

  22. Was I the only one who read the article? on Rat-Brained Robots Take Their First Steps · · Score: 2, Funny

    FTA (unabridged):

    This work will hopefully contribute to our knowledge of how brains work, but its potential should not be wasted on that, says Potter. "This system is a model. Everything it does is merely similar to what goes on in the brain, it's not really the same thing. We can learn about the boring brain - but when we make sentient Monster Trucks, that will truly be badass." He then pumped his fist 3 times and held up the sign of the goat for a few seconds before returning to a screaming guitar solo.

  23. Re:Immoral on Air Force Suspends Cyber Command Program · · Score: 1

    The command structure of war is based on intelligence and the ability to transfer said intelligence from command to the troop level, and then send status reports back up the chain. If you can disrupt that line of communication, the enemy loses coordination. You have soldiers awaiting orders, armor in traffic jams, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria.

    Or better yet, if you're able to intercept the intelligence/command and replace it with something else, you can set up an entire enemy regiment as target practice.

    On the civilian level, you would expect to see media/communications shutdown (so the leader can't console his people or prod them on to fight) but actually targeting the civ population is still considered a warcrime (and whether we would participate in one of those is left up as an argument of the reader)

  24. Wait, what? on Cooking Stimulated Big Leap In Human Cognition · · Score: 5, Funny

    Something seems out of order here...

    1. Sit on duff for 2 million years being too stupid to invent anything
    2. ???
    3. Invent cooking
    4. Get smart enough to invent things, like cooking
    5. Profit!

    I've heard homeless men coming up with more logical explanations than this.

  25. Re:Broken? on New SQL Injection Attack Fuses Malware, Phishing · · Score: 1

    This has nothing to do with the web becoming more broken. It's simply a matter of SQL-injection evolution. Before, when every idiot web developer/dba would use sa for the database permissions on a website, the popular thing was to reformat the server harddrives (or in less-malicious cases, just reboot the server every now and again for laughs)

    Since then, using sa as the iuser became more and more ostracized, but complete sql injection protection was still not implemented across some older code in many sites, so people have tried to find the most fun way to manipulate such available windows. Right now, the flavor of the day is apparently injecting javascript (as was popular back during the XSS days of about 4 years ago)

    Now, the DNS vulnerability that doxpara research was warning everyone about last month is new and internet-breaking, but this is just more of the same old shenanigans with assorted flavors -- something that any semi-vigilant non-idiot has protected his site against for 5+ years.