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User: Provocateur

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Comments · 1,999

  1. Re:Nothing can beat my office on Tech's Top 10 Workspaces · · Score: 2, Funny

    Noise cancelling headphones?

    21st century demands meeting-cancelling headphones!

  2. Re:It makes sense on War Brewing on the Inexpensive Laptop Front · · Score: 1

    Get a shoulder holster. I use one to carry around my, er, gum. Yes, that's it. Gum.

  3. Re:Professional gamers? on Hands-On With SteelSeries Ikari Mouse and New 7G Gaming Keyboard · · Score: 1

    The comments on TFA mentioned the Razer Lycosa and I went to check it out. Not too pricey but probably a serious keyboard and not too glitzy like Logitech's Edge. I'd check it out.

    Am thinking the low profile keyboards (almost ripped from Thinkpad lappies) with the nub will also work for me since I prefer the 80-something keyboard layout. I use the mouse with the desktop anyway. YMMV. But touchpads are an iffy thing with most brands; they almost feel like, meh let's slap one on that space.

  4. Re:Web 2.0? on Homer Simpson Drawn With Web 2.0-Style ASCII Art · · Score: 3, Insightful

    What was .0 the mid 90s web of sliced to hell images, frames, and animated gif based technologies.

    mid-90s? I swear I saw all that in MySpace just the other day

  5. Re:Another movie slashvertisment on Raytheon Exoskeleton Brings "Iron Man" to Life · · Score: 1

    YES! Immediately after I've read the summary too! You've restored my faith in this /. crowd...

    Well done er dude

  6. Re:Good God on Pidgin Controversy Triggers Fork · · Score: 1

    Now that you mention it, this may explain why if you enter a certain function in Excel95, you can play DOOM in it.

    You don't like my suggestion? That's it! I'll meet you there in B95!

    Get a taste of my BFG man!

  7. Hey, cmon guys, it's *us on Unexpected Slashdot Downtime · · Score: 1

    You can tell us. Virus hit you? Forgot to fork out the $15 to re-register? CMOS battery failure? You're among friends who'd uh look down or away, and nod sympathetically.

    It was, though the most agonizing graveyard shift I've ever had to pull. I actually had to work.

  8. So if I bought one of these on First Psystar Mac Clones Ship · · Score: 1

    ...would that make me a Mac fanboi?

    clone of a Mac fanboi? Mac fanboi clone? fanboi clone Ma--

    *head explodes

  9. Re:He does what with his girlfriend ? on Usability Testing Hardy Heron With a Girlfriend · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well, what's your definition of foreplay?

    Guy uses remote to start the Barry White

    GF: What's it called again?
    BF: Hardy Heron...
    GF: What er distro is this?
    BF: Ubuntu, baby, which is African for Jungle Love...

    (cue fireplace shot)

  10. Re:Buy a console on PC Gaming Suggestions for Console-like Fun? · · Score: 1

    There is a lot to think about if you want to actually be a good race driver - conserving your tyres/engine/gearbox (depending on how realistic the game is and how many laps you're doing), what the appropriate line to take through a corner is (while taking into account the next several corners - there's a lot more to driving quickly than just putting your foot down), slipstreaming if you are racing with other cars, considering your drivetrain


    This seems to be more involved than sex (they are a married couple, you know). Unless they're into the tantric kind.
  11. Re:Obvious answer... on PC Gaming Suggestions for Console-like Fun? · · Score: 1

    Or substitute PacPC for pacman, it's close enough. Start on a higher level or maze to make it exciting. I run it in DOSBOX, if you have a Win partition to install it on. 2 player, and no major commitment to make, unlike RPGs and other games. Phone rings? Fave TV show on? You can walk away for a moment...

  12. Re:Isnt fake meat called... on PETA Offers X-Prize for Artificial Meat · · Score: 1

    We've bred out most of the fat in pigs (except for the bacon portion).

    Somehow I get this picture of Gary Larson's Boneless chicken farm, sharing their quarters with these non-fat pigs. These pigs must feel nothing but contempt for the low-fat pigs in the neighbor's yard.

  13. Incoming sales reports on Ballmer Calls Vista 'A Work In Progress' · · Score: 1

    seem to indicate otherwise, hence the more reflective new name Vistasis.

  14. Re:Pinching zooms in? on Eee Is 1st Windows Laptop To Support Multi-Touch · · Score: 1

    if you have the photographic mindset.


    It makes sense to one who also wears glasses: think of pinching as in picking it up to take a closer look, and spreading fingers apart as in dropping it for an 'aerial' or birds-eye view.

    Now it makes me want to get a keyboard with a touchpad like that. I would sooo use it. Using the scrollbar for zoom kinda twists the purpose of scrollbars when they were primarily intended for paging up or down.
  15. Re:Take a look at this! on Lockheed Martin Tests New Spacecraft Prototype · · Score: 2, Funny

    It must be a joke. I mean /. with 3 rocket stories in one day? 'Lockheed tests new rocket' 'Fedora 9 cleared for launch' and 'IBM pilot program for internal Mac use'

    This is too much, even for an armchair rocket scientist. (Hey Stephen Hawking is a wheelchair physicist, so we could be on the same level.)

  16. Re:Yes, and yes. on Hardy Heron Making Linux Ready for the Masses? · · Score: 2, Funny

    if they don't have a valid license and don't want to spend 100 bucks on one, do NOT give them a pirated copy of XP.


    Your friend: "Pirated? Do you have one?"

    You: "No. One thing I haven't told you: I am a ninja. My mission is to wipe out all pirates."

    (Leave. She will call when she's ready.)
  17. Re:So special and different, it already exists! on Microsoft Accommodating Eee With Lightweight XP · · Score: 1

    Yes, you will ask yourself why people make acquisitions purely due to design and dimension

    Yes, you will ask yourself, where did he find this s.o., and yes, you will also ask yourself why people make acquisitions purely due to design and dimension

    Fixed it for you, to save some heads from exploding...

  18. Re:Open Source CD on Microsoft Accommodating Eee With Lightweight XP · · Score: 1

    Not normal business, if it involves an OS that's about to be EOLed. Now do you get what he means?

  19. Re:Warning! CCP Seeding, Banning Torrenters on Eve Online Client Source Code Leaked · · Score: 3, Funny

    I suggest using your mom's house or an internet cafe


    You must be new here. For most of us, it's one and the same. Though the coffee's not $3 a cup.
  20. In keeping with the spirit of Slashdot... on Eve Online Client Source Code Leaked · · Score: 2, Funny

    Could we rephrase it to say

    EVE Online Client Open Sourced

    but not by choice?

  21. Re:Glossy is more like reading paper on Laptops Screens, Glare or Matte? · · Score: 1

    All along I thought it had to do with making Vista look gorgeous with Aero (shiny! shiny!) because they became popula--

    On second thought, what *is* it with these glossy screens??

  22. I think for the first time ever on ISO Takes Control Of OOXML · · Score: 1

    ...I think this is the first time ever as a /.-er, that I've read a story here and wished it were April 1.

  23. Re:What remains... on The Dead Sea Effect In the IT Workplace · · Score: 1

    It *is* late, I almost corrected it to say least talented but effective.

  24. Re:Good that the guy was caught... on Internet Community Catches a Car Thief · · Score: 1

    Vigilantism would be if upon finding out where the car is, an angry mob descended, beat the crap out of the guy, and then took the car back.


    Don't they also get the I helped skin Bob bumper stickers?
  25. Re:Or Viagra on Robot Rebellion Quelled in Iraq · · Score: 1

    ...here, you left your Viagra.

    Well, you did throw that in on a column that had nothing to do with sex. You know, the normal kind. Involving two people. No matter what /. wants you to believe.