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User: alphatel

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  1. Re:Huh? What? on The Greatest Keyboard Shortcut Ever · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe it's the alcohol... But I really have no idea what the summary is talking about.

    I didnt know either, but after I used the greatest shortcut ever, porn popped up. So it's a porn-regrabber!

  2. The obvious joke on NSA Officers Sometimes Spy On Love Interests · · Score: 1

    It's a shame everyone missed the obvious lead-in this article has provided. Unauthorized agent activity will now be known as...
    Prism Jism

  3. Re:I deny everything on Amazon Selects Their Favorite Fake Customer Reviews · · Score: 5, Informative

    Link to the actual funniest reviews page

  4. Re:quit drinking on The Science of 12-Step Programs · · Score: 2

    As an example take a look at nicotine. There actually are people who do not become addicted to it, my mother is one of them, they are just very rare. Most people, if you use it more than a little bit you WILL get addicted. We all understand that, so those of us that don't wish to get addicted avoid it. Also once you've quit smoking, you recognize that you can't start again, you can't do it "just a little bit," you'll get hooked again.

    I was a smoker for 10 years and quit 10 years ago. I still smoke, but only when on vacation (which is so rare nowadays it might as well be retirement). I do not suffer any lingering after-effects. Even though in theory I shouldn't be able to kick the habit after smoking for a week or two in some summer retreat, it does not fail. Honestly by the time the vacation is over I am tired of the smoking ritual and its effects. The people I leave behind in those places, they don't stop smoking.

    Non-sequitur break: Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit shooting heroin! - Lloyd Bridges, Airplane

  5. Re:Lawsuit will be thrown out but.... on US IT Worker Files Hiring Lawsuit Against Infosys, Class Action Proposed · · Score: 1

    Maybe, just maybe, we the American IT workers should play their game and force these three clown companies from india, by filing lawsuit after lawsuit, even if it is going to be rejected. The problem is, we do not have the deep pockets. Maybe organizations like groklaw and EFF should consider mounting such a campaign. Operating on the outskirts of the law, doesn't necessarily mean that, they have the right to rape the American IT sector.

    Or smarter still, refuse to speak to Indian nationals when engaged in a support call or project prospectus. Tell the companies that keep hiring H1Bs that you don't accept the shoddy practices and will take your business elsewhere. Drain the pool of cash from the scum-pond and all that is left is MUD.

  6. Re:How'd the government know what they were Googli on Google Pressure Cookers and Backpacks: Get a Visit From the Feds · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The title has changed to "get a visit from the cops" since it was confirmed that it was the Long Island Task Force. However, the FBI was "aware of the operation".
    I am sure they are aware, of a a lot more things. Damn pressure cooker backpacks...

  7. Re:This story sounds familiar on Epic Online Space Battle · · Score: 1

    I don't think you understand. Each 'solar system' in EVE runs on a single core - the system is not multi-processor friendly within a single solar system.

    They moved the 6DVT(where the fight happened) system to the same blade server as Jita(the huge trade hub which regularly hosts around 1000-1500 people, most inside a station) but on a separate core.

    400% of normal traffic to a single processor. That's impressive. Also, it's running python, so there's that as well.

    So I don't see a lot of talk about 4,000 players on MUDs hosted on 486 DX 66 processors anymore, but listening to this drabble about Eve on that can only run a single core on Python should get me excited?
    Seriously, there's nothing here. Dead Story before it began.

  8. The Achievement of the Glorious Gamer in Splendor on Blizzard Breaks For Independence As Kotick Plans $8.2 Billion Dollar Buyout · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's true that Researchers Implant False Memories in Mice but Activision has implanted Happy Memories in Gamers and erased all bad ones!

  9. Alert on Pre-Dawn Wireless Emergency Alert Wakes Up NYC · · Score: 5, Informative

    The actual alert was even more cryptic due to texting truncation
    "LIC/GEX1377 NY 1995 Tan Lexis"
    Kind of a pre-dawn WTF. Told my wife it was my boss asking for directions to the strip club. Did NOT get a free massage.

  10. Re:Sounds like FOIA time on Discovering NSA Code Names Via LinkedIn · · Score: 4, Informative

    To me this sounds like it is time to file a bunch of freedom of information act requests. The bigger question is what if anything will the media do with this newf ound info.

    I requested more info for you, here is some you should enjoy
    http://s3.documentcloud.org/documents/716069/boozallenhamiltonnsa.pdf

    Apparently Booz employees forgot that their cloud documents are.... well, public

  11. network ignorance on U.S. Army Block Access To The Guardian's Website Over NSA Leaks · · Score: 4, Funny

    Are they going turn off the TV for them, too?

  12. Business Map on Don't Panic, But We've Passed Peak Apple (and Google, and Facebook) · · Score: 4, Funny

    When all your in-house innovation leads to outhouse fabrication, you can easily switch gears. Buy everyone who innovates and shut out any possible competition. It's been the premier business road map for centuries.

  13. Re:iRobU on Cisco and iRobot Create Sheldonbot-Like Telepresence System · · Score: 1

    You must be just a miserable person.

    I disagree. My good friends Gordon Ramsey and Simon Cowell say I am quite fun and an "all-around cheery bloke"

    Here is a little tip for life, being overly critical of everything isn't proof that you are smart or know what you are talking about. I like the show, however sometimes I feel they go too far to try to portate the stereotype of the geek, but once you realise that, just let it slide and enjoy the show.

    Not to be "overly critical of everything" but you just had two typos.

    You probably won't get a life awakening moments in it, but get a few chuckles out of it.

    Neither happened. Perhaps this is the new way of the /. in which case I should use my robotic arm to shelve myself and permanently archive any dissension from something as important as "Sheldonbraut".

  14. iRobU on Cisco and iRobot Create Sheldonbot-Like Telepresence System · · Score: -1, Flamebait
    This show is:
    • Not funny
    • Not brainy
    • Not relevant

    It's like 9gag in full tilt, minus the images.

  15. Re:NSA or FB? on The NSA: Never Not Watching · · Score: 1

    You can join Facebook with a fake identity, and in theory delete everything that was collected. You cannot delete the NSA, these logs, or anything else that the gov't has discovered about you. One day, your calls to the sex shop, your wife's best friend, and secret second family in Colorado will all be revealed via a freedom of information act. Better hope your wife doesn't post it on FB when she finds out.

  16. Re:Have solution. Alas, subject line = too small on Banker Offers $1M To Solve Beal Conjecture · · Score: 0

    <quote><p>Sorry, but I promise you that the solution was very elegant.</p><p>Bert</p></quote>

    I would argue that it was difficult to say but easy to prove.

  17. Re:Design != manufacture capability on Chinese Hackers Steal Top US Weapons Designs · · Score: 1

    China can steal all the designs they want, but without successfully implementing the designs, I'm honestly not that concerned.

    North Korea buys from China. Are you scared now?

  18. Re:Sounds like a stunt to me on Java Developer Says He Built, Launched Basic Open Source Office Suite In 30 Days · · Score: 1

    One might also add that he hasn't delved into the patentable/copyrightable regions by being at alpha. No doubt if you came up with a fully functional suite that did things that MS or IBM patented, you wouldn't be in business very long.

  19. remote hands on on Will Robots Take Over the Data Center? · · Score: 2

    As long as we can still manage servers while sitting at our desks, I say go for it.

  20. must... protect.... god... on Bill Gates Opens Up About Steve Jobs · · Score: 4, Funny

    insert Bill Gates slam here
    insert Steve Jobs supreme being statement here
    *phew* day saved.

    Sent from my AT&T iPad

  21. Very un-PC on IRS Admits Targeting Conservative Groups During 2012 Election · · Score: 0

    So wait, they targeted a political organization, much like they might target a religious group, and the former was unacceptable but the latter isn't? It's not like they went after a specific race of Americans...

    What is so evil that this needs to be on every news feed in the world?

  22. Re:New Poke on Microsoft's "New Coke" Moment? · · Score: 1

    Microsoft is a business that is attempting to sell a rather expensive (~$100 and up) product to consumers.

    Oh, you mean it's not freeware?

  23. New Poke on Microsoft's "New Coke" Moment? · · Score: 0

    The problem is the trend of being cool because you can complain has left .
    Can't find the start button? Yes it's damn annoying I agree, but New Coke sucked all around. Windows 8 isn't all about a single button. A keyboard you aren't used to will ruin your life much more miserably, but do you call Dell and tell them the computer should go in the garbage? It's time people got used to this mess. Yes as a hardcore 24 hours a day user it is definitely a mess and why we can't get to the shutdown or log off screen with a click is frustrating. You are not going to sell businesses on this model the way it is right now. But it is not going to make anyone go out and change their life. Let the insane and moaners do whatever makes them feel better. I will donate a leper to your cause.

  24. has the company... on BlackBerry Looking To Quench 'Insatiable Demand' For New Smartphones · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is ? the new !

  25. Focus on the fact that all it takes is a rogue tweet to send the world, or financial markets, into a swarming panic frenzy. Expect more from people with less savvy and higher criminal intent.