A friend of my Dad's, from about 1975 to present, matches # 1, 2 and 5 to a "T".
I was his assistant for a long summer, but I don't have a funny name. But I have a big hump on my back which moves from one shoulder to the other between camera shots, does that count?
I remember this happening back in 1995 when I was a network engineer at InternetMCI. An engineer, who will remain nameless (Neal), f*cked up the BGP in a SouthWestern USA router, effectivly routing all nearby (3-4 states?) into said router for a few hours.
He barely lasted a month or so in our department.
From that point forward, we refered to this as "black holing".
...spring 1974... friend's parents away for 10 days... 200 tabs of LSD and 80 hours of bootleg Dead on a reel-to-reel... and chics... and some crazy guy following me with a banana and a jar of peanut butter...
Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20078
Dear Sir:
Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu Barbie". It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to it's modern origin:
1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.
2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.
3. The dentition pattern evident on the "skull" is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the "ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams" you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
B. Clams don't have teeth. It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in it's normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation's Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name "Australopithecus spiff-arino." Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin.
However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the "trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix" that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.
yea, I remember doing that. Sometime I couln't tell if the site was porn or not, just by the name. But by the 100th she-male-porn site, before 10am, I, well, was just mentally numb.
and was in charge of the "web tracking database". Although we blocked porn (about 30k sites) you can never get them all. Part of my duty was to give monthly lists of top porn abusers.
I felt like I was peeping, looking at people's web habbits. It was truly the low point of my job. However, the execs (who were given access) thought it was a hoot, and (rumour has it) spent hours snikering over this stuff.
I just noticed none of this is really "on topic"... oh well...
Once, years ago, I was lazy and only mounted a hard drive with one screw. It vibrated like crazy, and died after about 9 months. Thank goodness for those 5 year warentees:-P.
When at Lucent, our manager turned down the cutest 19yo girl for help desk (and she was smart too) cus she was to *hot*... I think he thought his wife might run into her at a company function...
Oh well, nearly the whole building was laid off anyway.
Most of the $$ goes to: 1. ISP Executive Offshore accounts. 2. ISP "team building" golf vacations. 3. and general executive "milking" of the corporate assets.
Slashdot Mirror
The whole point of being young & going on a road trip is getting the experience to be as close to a "B High School Movie" as possible.
Drunk white trash chicks and a cheap video camera will make you a legend even unto your great-great-grandsons.
At 17 yo I did one of these: 72hrs, 1400 miles, stole 5 Kilo of weed and got one sweet titty-fuck.*
If only we had cheap vieo back then...
*Note: all true except for the titty-fuck. I would have, but after we took the weed we didn't want to stick around Columbia SC.
What? No erotica genre?
bah!
A friend of my Dad's, from about 1975 to present, matches # 1, 2 and 5 to a "T".
I was his assistant for a long summer, but I don't have a funny name. But I have a big hump on my back which moves from one shoulder to the other between camera shots, does that count?
I feel socially insecure :(
when my flying car will get me there faster?
Haha
SuperBank Visa *ONLY* wants people who cary a ballance (low end of market). These are their *best* customers.
...it's just sleeping.
I use to tell this to my kinds when they were little and saw a road-kill.
I remember this happening back in 1995 when I was a network engineer at InternetMCI. An engineer, who will remain nameless (Neal), f*cked up the BGP in a SouthWestern USA router, effectivly routing all nearby (3-4 states?) into said router for a few hours.
He barely lasted a month or so in our department.
From that point forward, we refered to this as "black holing".
whew, glad that's over
You penis will be normal sized.
Don't start smoking pot next year.
You have no musical talent.
Go to med school.
Never date girls named Liz.
Has everything you want, plus (1) easy to bribe officials, (2) cheap marijuana, and (3) plenty of friendly Mexicans.
and get your own /24, or whatever, saying you needed it to multi-home.
but this was back in the 1995-6; things may be different now.
>...User changes their DNS server and uses a third party proxy and voila, no more blocked sites
Unless the only way thru the ISP is via the proxy.
I did this at my last job we had 35K+ porn sites blocked and could have added more, with more manpower.
The real problem (we discovered) is deciding exactly what should be blocked.
From USENET, November 1995, totally fictious:
Paleoanthropology Division
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078
Dear Sir:
Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu Barbie". It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to it's modern origin:
1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.
2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.
3. The dentition pattern evident on the "skull" is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the "ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams" you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
B. Clams don't have teeth.
It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in it's normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation's Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name "Australopithecus spiff-arino." Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin.
However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the "trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix" that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.
Yours in Science,
Harvey Rowe
Curator, Antiquities
then I got drunk and lost them...
I got my sparc IPX for free, with monitor, mouse & keyboard!
( ) funny
( ) pityfull
( ) sad
(X) all of the above
yea, I remember doing that. Sometime I couln't tell if the site was porn or not, just by the name. But by the 100th she-male-porn site, before 10am, I, well, was just mentally numb.
maybe I want to watch pr0n while I scramble eggs?
and was in charge of the "web tracking database". Although we blocked porn (about 30k sites) you can never get them all. Part of my duty was to give monthly lists of top porn abusers.
...
I felt like I was peeping, looking at people's web habbits. It was truly the low point of my job. However, the execs (who were given access) thought it was a hoot, and (rumour has it) spent hours snikering over this stuff.
I just noticed none of this is really "on topic"... oh well
when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
Once, years ago, I was lazy and only mounted a hard drive with one screw. It vibrated like crazy, and died after about 9 months. Thank goodness for those 5 year warentees :-P.
Sony sues Sony; Sony couter-sues (AP) ....
When at Lucent, our manager turned down the cutest 19yo girl for help desk (and she was smart too) cus she was to *hot* ... I think he thought his wife might run into her at a company function ...
Oh well, nearly the whole building was laid off anyway.
Most of the $$ goes to:
1. ISP Executive Offshore accounts.
2. ISP "team building" golf vacations.
3. and general executive "milking" of the corporate assets.
Just look at Worldcom.