Here's why some don't find it funny
on
User Friendly 1.0
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· Score: 0, Troll
It's simply because UF is full of 'in' jokes that the pimply faced, pseudo-grunge wearing, Linux posing, live at home college kids that can't and won't ever get laid won't get because they have never held a real job and most likely never will hold a real job.
Let's face it. The poseurs that run rampant on Slashdot try to re-define being a geek into a homosexual extravaganza of bad anime, Linux, polyester, bad breath, worse hygiene, neo-liberalism, paganism, atrociously apparent trolls, etc... All so they can call themselves 'geeks' and have something to write home about from their crap filled college dorm. It's as bad as the 'goth' wannabes running around pretending their vampires or S&M afficionados, and the pseudo-satanists that scream out 'hail satan'.
In their pathetic attempt to be different, they simply manage to achieve a common mediocrity.
Of course I'll be modded down by the first pathetic wannabe with mod points, but what the hell... some things just have to be said.
"The stupid geek stereotypes need to go, along with the racism (hackneyed accents for characters like Pitr) and the sexism. "
You, coward, need to buy a sense of humor. You 'nerf and sanitize the world' assholes need to just fuck off. Go back to lollypop land with the other touch-feely liberal fucks.
"but what you're saying just isn't practical for the most part in the world of marketing driven deadlines that at least I have to live in (you may be different)."
There's the crux of the situation. "marketing driven deadlines" force buggy code out the door for a large majority of programmers. But when the bugs are out there who get's the shit? The programmers. I'm simply one that stands up to the marketers and bosses and tell em their expectations are ridiculous, and it doesn't ship till it works right (usually their stated expectations are followed immediately by my laughter).
Windows does consistenly do it's job correctly. That's the funny part. What doesn't consistently do it's job correctly is all the other crappy software and drivers installed in any users given system. In other words, if Excel tries to screw with the memory I have allocated for my software and causes a system error it's not my problem. It's Microsofts problem with Excel because their programmers didn't do their job correctly and Microsoft shipped out code full of shit. I use Excel as an example because it's notorious for causing system errors to report that 'x' program caused the error even though it's actually Excel taht caused the error. It's so shit laden that it causes memory access and allocation errors within itself, and should be the poster child for enforcable software warranties.
"My ass. If you're writing code for Windows, chances are you will never know what the hell you are doing. And if you say you do, you're a liar."
Then you may call me a liar. I always know what the hell I am doing. Unlike others I don't bit-twiddle and otherwise try tricks with any operating system. I let it do it's job, it let's my code do it's job, and everybody get's along.
"If you're writing for DOS 5.0 or an embedded system then yes, maybe you can be right. I don't know about Linux programming pitfalls (at least I admit it)."
There should be any programming pitfalls regarding operating systems if you let the operating system do it's job.
"I learned BASIC first and then jumped over to assembly and then to pascal where I've been ever since. Assembly is valuable, especially in tracking down bugs and tracing through CPU instructions, but it really won't help you write better code to begin with."
Actually it does. It forces you to write tight, clean code. People that have learned only higher level languages have learned to write dirty, bloated, and sloppy code. They never learned how to trace instructions wheather it be in asm, BASIC, or C variants. That's why bugs are rampant.
"Surprises such as receiving a function result out of the documented range, or surprises such as the boss now wants to quadruple the size and complexity of the entire program and thinks it should only take a week?"
Basically, yes. If they ensure that the input to the function is correct instead of letting random input get to it then they can avoid unexpected function returns completely (getting out of range function returns just shows that the programmer doesn't understand the function and should either read up on it or get another job). As for bosses... it just makes life more exciting.
If a printer driver or piece of hardware fails it's not covered under the software warranty. Simple.
Bugs? Not that's laughable. I don't accept bugs, I track down and eradicate bugs, I do weird and unexpected shit just to find bugs, and I test it untill my fingers bleed (metaphorically) to just find bugs. No, my code has no bugs when it ships. It's not that hard, just takes a few things called 'diligence', 'responsibility', and 'knowing what the hell you are doing'.
But, I also learned first to program in assembly (by hand), then higher languages later. Buggy code is just the result of a lazy programmer that doesn't plan ahead and can't handle surprises well.
"How do you expect humans to write perfect code when we can't do anything else perfect?"
All it takes is focus.
"It took quite a while for engineers to get bridge building 100%, and yet sometimes unexpected variables were still recently encountered (Tacoma Narrows)."
Basicaly the Tacoma Narrows failure was more of a problem arising from an aesthetic reason (side panels covering the ugly underside supports which created wind drag that lead to the fault), and the engineer should have known better.
"And there's a hell of a lot less variables in building physical structures than writing code that has to run side by side with 20+ other programs and not have problems."
Side by side or depending on. There's a difference.
"When physical structures have problems you can fall back on constants such as gravity. There's no promise that the bytes in memory will be the same every time you run your program."
If your program is written well then the bytes in memory should be the same every time you run your program. No, they total bytes in memory won't be the same, but your program should handle allocations and referencing the same every time which makes the question of where they bytes are in memory a moot point. In other words... don't hard code memory references.
"So if I write software today, should I guarentee that it will work will ALL previous versions of Windows with ANY hardware configuration as well as any future versions of both hardware and the OS?"
Simply specify which OS version it will work on, and peg it down to that version. As for hardware incompatability, that's just lousy code.
"I welcome YOU to the real world. You obviously don't write software for a living."
Actually I do, and I have yet to write software that doesn't work as expected. I certainly don't release production code untill I absolutely know it will work as expected.
"My responsibilities include things like paying bills, for which I need to work for a company that will stay around because they aren't getting sued into oblivion because some customer was stupid enough to open the program's data files in Wordpad and save them back as formatted text. Because that same customer will never admit they did that and if there aren't logfiles showing they did such a thing, you may still have to defend yourself in court, and that costs money."
If the customer does that then it's their problem just as if I took my car off road it would be my problem. Warranties don't cover misuse. Sure, defense costs money, but a countersuit for legal fees would be in order.
Software should come with enforceable warranties. It sucks as it is that software makers disclaim all warranties including the expectation that the software work at all.
Those that support and/or put together open source software need to grow up and realize that there's the exectation that their shit works, and an exectation of fitness of a product isn't that much to ask.
Welcome to the real world ladies and gentlemen! This isn't your mommies house, and this isn't a college dorm. Welcome to responsibility!
"Despite the arcane nature of the Linux man files, they are always there for me to read, and don't lead me through a silly and time-wasting checklist ("Did this help you...?" nonsense). I used to hate the man files for their arcane readability, but have found them, over time, to be far more explanatory and reliable than any Windows help I have tried.This is not surprising, though, as the Windows help files try to help you without explaining what is really going on. "
Agreed. One has too little information, the other too much information (and they both can be very obtuse at times).
"However, I can tell you are fairly fond of Windows, and see any criticism of Windows as baseless, so I won't press the point further. "
Not at all. I can unload a fairly huge amount of criticism on Windows and anything else coming out of the demented minds of those at Microsoft. I unload criticism where criticism is due, unlike what seems to be most here on Slashdot I don't shower praise where it's not due. Personally, I prefer any Linux distro to Windows when I actually need a machine to work, and keep working (such as when I need a server that's not going to take a crap on me every few days). I actively point out faults with MS products such as Office (pick any version) in my workplace, and do my best to get people to understand that the errors they are getting are because of shitty programming (theirs or microsofts), not hardware.
"However, I see now why some people complain about the moderation on Slashdot: how a ham-handed response like "And how is that different than most Linux based software?" manages to get modded up to 3 while far more enlightened and/or thought-provoking messages (not necessarily my own, as I have made some intentionally silly remarks) get entirely missed, well, it boggles the mind."
Probably because I'm usually straight and to the point.
The thing is that Linux just isn't ready for the desktop of Joe User, but works great if a server is needed that stays up. There's an old saying that goes "There's always a right tool for the job.", and Linux ISN'T the right tool for the desktop of Joe User untill it and it's devoted fanatics grow up a bit and realize that Joe User doesn't give a shit about screwing with they system... Joe User just wants his shit to work right out of the box. Joe User wants to use MS Office because he's been sold that bill of goods way back in '95 and it's in his comfort zone. As far as I'm concerned, Joe User can just kiss my ass and use Star Office or other brands of items that attempt to give the MS brand of office integration, but that's not realistic because telling Joe User to kiss my ass and use something different on a more stable OS wouldn't pay the bills.
"Personally, XP feels like a crazy gene-splicing experiment using DNA from Windows and the Fisher Price Little People. I have yet to discover any significant improvement in the OS. It is a memory hog--and for no reason other than the fact that is now needs RAM to present this gaudy, new Colorform-type GUI"
Well, if you had RTFM or had looked on Google you would realize that the desktop can be chaned to a look other than Fisher Price that's quicker and takes up less ram.
"During an exercise that pitted the machines against each other in battle, one of the machines, named Gaak, was taken out of the competition and left alone for fifteen minutes. When the scientist returned to retrieve Gaak, he found that the machine had broken free from its 'cage', and made it all the way to the lab's parking lot before it was apprehended!"
That's what happens when you let your gladiators watch Spartacus.
Slashdot Mirror
It's simply because UF is full of 'in' jokes that the pimply faced, pseudo-grunge wearing, Linux posing, live at home college kids that can't and won't ever get laid won't get because they have never held a real job and most likely never will hold a real job.
Let's face it. The poseurs that run rampant on Slashdot try to re-define being a geek into a homosexual extravaganza of bad anime, Linux, polyester, bad breath, worse hygiene, neo-liberalism, paganism, atrociously apparent trolls, etc... All so they can call themselves 'geeks' and have something to write home about from their crap filled college dorm. It's as bad as the 'goth' wannabes running around pretending their vampires or S&M afficionados, and the pseudo-satanists that scream out 'hail satan'.
In their pathetic attempt to be different, they simply manage to achieve a common mediocrity.
Of course I'll be modded down by the first pathetic wannabe with mod points, but what the hell... some things just have to be said.
"The stupid geek stereotypes need to go, along with the racism (hackneyed accents for characters like Pitr) and the sexism. "
You, coward, need to buy a sense of humor. You 'nerf and sanitize the world' assholes need to just fuck off. Go back to lollypop land with the other touch-feely liberal fucks.
You say tomatoe, he says tomato.
You say colour, he says color.
Like saccharin, Nutrasweet will kill your ass dead if you eat your body weight in it every day for twenty years.
So does a Ford Pinto.
It works as it is, but could use improvement.
"Honestly though it would be nice to see the code for some of the Windows API functions instead of relying on the scant documentation MS provides."
It certainly would. There are quite a lot of improvements that could be made, but MS won't improve on them since they (marginally) work as they are.
"but what you're saying just isn't practical for the most part in the world of marketing driven deadlines that at least I have to live in (you may be different)."
There's the crux of the situation. "marketing driven deadlines" force buggy code out the door for a large majority of programmers. But when the bugs are out there who get's the shit? The programmers. I'm simply one that stands up to the marketers and bosses and tell em their expectations are ridiculous, and it doesn't ship till it works right (usually their stated expectations are followed immediately by my laughter).
Windows does consistenly do it's job correctly. That's the funny part. What doesn't consistently do it's job correctly is all the other crappy software and drivers installed in any users given system. In other words, if Excel tries to screw with the memory I have allocated for my software and causes a system error it's not my problem. It's Microsofts problem with Excel because their programmers didn't do their job correctly and Microsoft shipped out code full of shit. I use Excel as an example because it's notorious for causing system errors to report that 'x' program caused the error even though it's actually Excel taht caused the error. It's so shit laden that it causes memory access and allocation errors within itself, and should be the poster child for enforcable software warranties.
"My ass. If you're writing code for Windows, chances are you will never know what the hell you are doing. And if you say you do, you're a liar."
Then you may call me a liar. I always know what the hell I am doing. Unlike others I don't bit-twiddle and otherwise try tricks with any operating system. I let it do it's job, it let's my code do it's job, and everybody get's along.
"If you're writing for DOS 5.0 or an embedded system then yes, maybe you can be right. I don't know about Linux programming pitfalls (at least I admit it)."
There should be any programming pitfalls regarding operating systems if you let the operating system do it's job.
"I learned BASIC first and then jumped over to assembly and then to pascal where I've been ever since. Assembly is valuable, especially in tracking down bugs and tracing through CPU instructions, but it really won't help you write better code to begin with."
Actually it does. It forces you to write tight, clean code. People that have learned only higher level languages have learned to write dirty, bloated, and sloppy code. They never learned how to trace instructions wheather it be in asm, BASIC, or C variants. That's why bugs are rampant.
"Surprises such as receiving a function result out of the documented range, or surprises such as the boss now wants to quadruple the size and complexity of the entire program and thinks it should only take a week?"
Basically, yes. If they ensure that the input to the function is correct instead of letting random input get to it then they can avoid unexpected function returns completely (getting out of range function returns just shows that the programmer doesn't understand the function and should either read up on it or get another job). As for bosses... it just makes life more exciting.
If a printer driver or piece of hardware fails it's not covered under the software warranty. Simple.
Bugs? Not that's laughable. I don't accept bugs, I track down and eradicate bugs, I do weird and unexpected shit just to find bugs, and I test it untill my fingers bleed (metaphorically) to just find bugs. No, my code has no bugs when it ships. It's not that hard, just takes a few things called 'diligence', 'responsibility', and 'knowing what the hell you are doing'.
But, I also learned first to program in assembly (by hand), then higher languages later. Buggy code is just the result of a lazy programmer that doesn't plan ahead and can't handle surprises well.
"How do you expect humans to write perfect code when we can't do anything else perfect?"
All it takes is focus.
"It took quite a while for engineers to get bridge building 100%, and yet sometimes unexpected variables were still recently encountered (Tacoma Narrows)."
Basicaly the Tacoma Narrows failure was more of a problem arising from an aesthetic reason (side panels covering the ugly underside supports which created wind drag that lead to the fault), and the engineer should have known better.
"And there's a hell of a lot less variables in building physical structures than writing code that has to run side by side with 20+ other programs and not have problems."
Side by side or depending on. There's a difference.
"When physical structures have problems you can fall back on constants such as gravity. There's no promise that the bytes in memory will be the same every time you run your program."
If your program is written well then the bytes in memory should be the same every time you run your program. No, they total bytes in memory won't be the same, but your program should handle allocations and referencing the same every time which makes the question of where they bytes are in memory a moot point. In other words... don't hard code memory references.
"So if I write software today, should I guarentee that it will work will ALL previous versions of Windows with ANY hardware configuration as well as any future versions of both hardware and the OS?"
Simply specify which OS version it will work on, and peg it down to that version. As for hardware incompatability, that's just lousy code.
"I welcome YOU to the real world. You obviously don't write software for a living."
Actually I do, and I have yet to write software that doesn't work as expected. I certainly don't release production code untill I absolutely know it will work as expected.
"My responsibilities include things like paying bills, for which I need to work for a company that will stay around because they aren't getting sued into oblivion because some customer was stupid enough to open the program's data files in Wordpad and save them back as formatted text. Because that same customer will never admit they did that and if there aren't logfiles showing they did such a thing, you may still have to defend yourself in court, and that costs money."
If the customer does that then it's their problem just as if I took my car off road it would be my problem. Warranties don't cover misuse. Sure, defense costs money, but a countersuit for legal fees would be in order.
If someone manufactures tv's, gives them away for free, and the tv's burn down peoples houses then the person that manufactured them is in deep shit.
In the case of Redhat and other commercial distros, there's no 'free' involved.
Software should come with enforceable warranties. It sucks as it is that software makers disclaim all warranties including the expectation that the software work at all.
Those that support and/or put together open source software need to grow up and realize that there's the exectation that their shit works, and an exectation of fitness of a product isn't that much to ask.
Welcome to the real world ladies and gentlemen! This isn't your mommies house, and this isn't a college dorm. Welcome to responsibility!
Actually, with Open Source the question is "Who is John Galt?"
Lone Ranger/Lone Gunmen same/same all fags.
Imagine a Beowulf cluster of these!
I see that all rumors of the death of Dada are premature.
That's why I tell everyone that I support to keep their goddamn hands off the hardware.
"Despite the arcane nature of the Linux man files, they are always there for me to read, and don't lead me through a silly and time-wasting checklist ("Did this help you...?" nonsense). I used to hate the man files for their arcane readability, but have found them, over time, to be far more explanatory and reliable than any Windows help I have tried.This is not surprising, though, as the Windows help files try to help you without explaining what is really going on. "
Agreed. One has too little information, the other too much information (and they both can be very obtuse at times).
"However, I can tell you are fairly fond of Windows, and see any criticism of Windows as baseless, so I won't press the point further. "
Not at all. I can unload a fairly huge amount of criticism on Windows and anything else coming out of the demented minds of those at Microsoft. I unload criticism where criticism is due, unlike what seems to be most here on Slashdot I don't shower praise where it's not due. Personally, I prefer any Linux distro to Windows when I actually need a machine to work, and keep working (such as when I need a server that's not going to take a crap on me every few days). I actively point out faults with MS products such as Office (pick any version) in my workplace, and do my best to get people to understand that the errors they are getting are because of shitty programming (theirs or microsofts), not hardware.
"However, I see now why some people complain about the moderation on Slashdot: how a ham-handed response like "And how is that different than most Linux based software?" manages to get modded up to 3 while far more enlightened and/or thought-provoking messages (not necessarily my own, as I have made some intentionally silly remarks) get entirely missed, well, it boggles the mind."
Probably because I'm usually straight and to the point.
The thing is that Linux just isn't ready for the desktop of Joe User, but works great if a server is needed that stays up. There's an old saying that goes "There's always a right tool for the job.", and Linux ISN'T the right tool for the desktop of Joe User untill it and it's devoted fanatics grow up a bit and realize that Joe User doesn't give a shit about screwing with they system... Joe User just wants his shit to work right out of the box. Joe User wants to use MS Office because he's been sold that bill of goods way back in '95 and it's in his comfort zone. As far as I'm concerned, Joe User can just kiss my ass and use Star Office or other brands of items that attempt to give the MS brand of office integration, but that's not realistic because telling Joe User to kiss my ass and use something different on a more stable OS wouldn't pay the bills.
"No manual shipped. Online guide sucks dick"
And how is that different than most Linux based software?
"Personally, XP feels like a crazy gene-splicing experiment using DNA from Windows and the Fisher Price Little People. I have yet to discover any significant improvement in the OS. It is a memory hog--and for no reason other than the fact that is now needs RAM to present this gaudy, new Colorform-type GUI"
Well, if you had RTFM or had looked on Google you would realize that the desktop can be chaned to a look other than Fisher Price that's quicker and takes up less ram.
There's already enough people scrambling to try to convince me to buy their shit without having to have a shit display built into an OS.
Screw advertisers. If I wanted to buy their shit I'd buy it already.
It's because "Linux land" is full of a bunch of freeloading hippie goofs.
DUH! Ya think?
What tipped Katz off to the fact that the media is market driven instead of news driven?
"During an exercise that pitted the machines against each other in battle, one of the machines, named Gaak, was taken out of the competition and left alone for fifteen minutes. When the scientist returned to retrieve Gaak, he found that the machine had broken free from its 'cage', and made it all the way to the lab's parking lot before it was apprehended!"
That's what happens when you let your gladiators watch Spartacus.
"Vernor Vinge"
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