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User: MillionthMonkey

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Comments · 4,122

  1. You Find It, You Keep It! on Thieves Clear Out NJ Apple Store In 31 Seconds · · Score: 0, Troll

    I was a Microsoft laptop hunter and now I'm 31 Macintoshes!

  2. Can I just add something here? on Attractive Women Make Men Temporarily Stupid · · Score: 1

    I think Southern women are the sexiest in the world!

  3. WELL *I* DON'T CARE! on Woman Fired For Using Uppercase In Email · · Score: 1

    Anyone who has ever been fired for shouting is going to have no sympathy for this woman.

  4. Re:Haha on Laughing Gas Is Major Threat To Ozone Layer · · Score: 1

    And actually, those are liquids at STP.

    So use them dissolved in air at less than their partial pressure. I suppose isoflurane-whipped cream is out?

  5. Re:Haha on Laughing Gas Is Major Threat To Ozone Layer · · Score: 1

    Desflurane, sevoflurane, and isoflurane.

  6. Re:passing the ticket on "Smart" Parking Meters Considered Dumb · · Score: 1

    There IS a time limit "implemented", that's the POINT. You're supposed to vacate the spot afterwards.

    If you show up with extra coins to feed a meter that you already parked at, in particularly congested areas, you may be breaking a law against meter feeding, and for a good reason. You've used your time and it's time for you to get out. Cities don't meter parking spaces just to make money; they want the SPACE back. They might have to set the meters up that way, since IIRC standard meters do support feeding. In general a jurisdiction might allow feeding. But not all do, and aside from the mental retardation of the politicians in charge, other considerations intrude such as the congestion in the area, the average time to find parking, the average time a car remains parked at a meter, and the rate of meter feeding.

    When someone ELSE feeds a meter, illegally, it's just as bad as if the owner of the car did. Cities don't meter parking spaces just to make some money; they want the SPACE back. This isn't like someone spotting you rent on an apartment. You aren't "renting" the space; the whole business with the coins isn't nominally to make money, it's to harass people who park cars into leaving before long. The meters would retain their function if they took something like cigarettes instead of quarters.

  7. Re:passing the ticket on "Smart" Parking Meters Considered Dumb · · Score: 0, Troll

    OK, so when the asshole in the shop next door to me starts sending some little shit running up and down the street all day to feed the meters of the criminals and drug addicts who have entered *his* establishment, thus preventing any reasonable parking for *my* customers, any intention the city might have to prevent that is "braindead"?

  8. Insertion fix on Australian Police Database Lacked Root Password · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    "It could of [course have] been faster if I hadn't stopped to laugh so much."

  9. Re:Overkill? on The Homemade Hard Disk Destroyer · · Score: 1

    Maybe the random bits take a long time to reach the actual disk controller in India. Since they can't be compressed very well, in theory the PRNG could just be sent to India instead of its output stream. But you really want to generate your random numbers in this country, or it isn't secure.

  10. Re:Oh well on Yahoo Revives Pay-Per-Email, With Charitable Twist · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I initially wrote and posted it here in 2003. Note the lack of a bitchslap against challenge-response schemes that hadn't yet become popular:

    ( ) Spammers pass all your Turing Tests

    or something like that.

  11. Re:Why... on Will Silicon Valley Run Out of Data Center Space? · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Just because the Internet is involved doesn't mean everything you do can just happen anywhere. People administering datacenters often need physical access. They might also have other jobs to do. They might be on a team that isn't all IT administrators. There may be face-to-face interaction required to get anything done. Real world considerations often intrude.

  12. Re:Free penis enlargement tease. on Man Jailed After Using LimeWire For ID Theft · · Score: 0, Offtopic
    You asked for it.

    First off, this work out DEMANDS your total devotion, and needs to be performed at least 5 times a week. No exceptions. If you really want to enlarge your penis, you will make a good habit of following this plan daily. I do it 6-7 days a week, but I have worked my way up to it. If at any time you feel real pain or discomfort, ease up. There's no need to hurt your penis in order to enlarge it. You will find after about 2-4 weeks, your penis will begin to feel and look larger and thicker, as well as harder. First off, lets start by using a hot wrap:
    The Hot Wrap: Take a wash cloth and soak under hot-warm water for several seconds, wringing out excess water. Wrap around your penis and testicles and hold for several minutes. Repeat 2-3 times, making sure your penis is good and warm.
    After you have Hot wrapped, dry of your penis well to ensure a good grip for the following exercises:
    1.) The Length Xtender: Making it longer!
    This exercise I call the Length Xtender for obvious reasons. This exercise stretches your penis out, stretching the erectile tissue. Your erectile tissue is kind of like your penis's central tendons that engorge with blood, which give you an erection. While this exercise will lengthen your penis in its flaccid and erect state, it will not thicken it as much as lengthen. I find this exercise much healthier and safer than using weights for penis enlargement. This exercise should be performed sitting on an edge of a chair or couch, but can be performed standing if preferred.
    1. Make sure your penis is in its flaccid (limp) state. Take one hand and grip around the head of your penis. Grip firmly, but not hard enough to feel discomfort. Take your other hand and grip around the hand gripping your penis. This will ensure a firm and tight grip.
    2. Pull out directly in front of yourself, pulling with enough force to feel a good stretch in your penis. Hold and count for 30 seconds. Repeat 10 times, adding a little extra force each time, but not too hard to cause pain.
    3. Relax, and slap your penis against your leg about 75 -100 times to get the blood flowing again. Rest for a minute.
    4. Repeat step 2, except pulling to the left this time.
    5. Repeat step 3.
    6. Repeat step 2, except pulling to the right this time.
    7. Repeat step 3.
    8. Repeat step 2, except pulling up this time.
    9. Repeat step 3.
    10. Repeat step 2, except pulling down this time.
    11. Finish by slapping your penis against your leg 75-100 times.
    Next, Repeat step 2 as stated above, except this time rotate your penis in a circular fashion to the left about 30 times. Now rotate your penis to the right about 30 times. Keep alternating left to right, until you have completed this exercise about 5 times to each side. End by slapping your penis against your leg 75 -100 times.
    This exercise will ensure a longer penis within as little as 2 weeks, but within 3-4 months will really be noticeable. We encourage you to take a notebook and log your measurements are each week. This way you will know exactly what your progress is, and will also encourage you to keep up the exercises.
    This next exercise is called "jelq". Jelqing has been done for centuries by many tribes, cultures, and as a family secret. Passed down from father to son for generations, it has been held in the highest regard as the most effective method for enlarging your penis. This milking exercise forces blood into the penis, repeatedly engorging the penis with blood. Over the course of several months, the blood spaces in the penis becomes larger, being able to hold more blood, which in return makes your penis larger. This exercise requires 20-30 minutes of your time, and should be performed sitting on the edge of a chair, but may be done standing if desired. You will need a teaspoon of Vaseline or a healthy dousing of baby oil to perform this exercise.
    Note: Sitting vertical is better than laying down due to the fact that gravity will aid in your milking sessions by keeping blood within your penis.
    2.) Jelq - (Milking the Penis for Enlargement)...

    He goes on to describe other exercises- if you're really interested in this sort of thing, try searching for "Jelq" on Limewire.

  13. Similar problem with Kazaa on Man Jailed After Using LimeWire For ID Theft · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    [Reposting this little gem from a few weeks ago]
    People kept settinng the Kazaa upload directory to C:\ and you could find anything. Everyone was searching for MP3s, but you could find DOC files in "Documents and Settings".

    I forget what I searched for but I got a listing of Word Documents that included "Penis Enlargement Instructions.DOC" or something like that. So naturally I clicked on that one and downloaded it. Figuring, it might be real, because a moron dumb enough to let Kazaa index his documents folder would be the sort of person who responds to spam and shells out money for penis enlargement instructions. And once he's paid for and gotten actual instructions that are obviously bullshit, even if he felt he'd been suckered, he'd at least hold onto the file. Maybe for psychological reasons, or to prove he'd been scammed, I don't know. So they might have to be just barely plausible. And hey, if they are, free penis enlargement instructions, right?

    IIRC the dude gives his testimonial, it's so incredible, it will work for you too etc. and then he goes into this procedure where you basically yank on it repeatedly.

  14. Re:And that's not all... on Ubuntu's New Firefox Is Watching You · · Score: 1

    You just have your customer open Firefox's new "Death Panel" which lets you on the other end decide, based on your subjective judgment of their "level of productivity in society", whether or not they are worthy of tech support.

  15. Re:And that's not all... on Ubuntu's New Firefox Is Watching You · · Score: 1

    *WHOOSH* although I understand your reaction

  16. And that's not all... on Ubuntu's New Firefox Is Watching You · · Score: 5, Funny

    I hear the Ubuntu extension also has a feature for euthanasia of old people.

  17. Re:Thank you Jesus on Murdoch Says, "We'll Charge For All Our Sites" · · Score: 1

    they probably would make a special report day how the world got better once after the death of this communist hippie.

    "Today's crime news: a gang of three thieves was executed, including their communist ringleader. Pontus Pilate could not be reached for comment, although Pharisees on the scene commented that thievery was a serious problem and these crucifixions would prove to be a benefit to the local community. And back to you, Bathsheba!"

    "Thanks for that story.. why can't people behave... tsk tsk..."

  18. Re:Thank you Jesus on Murdoch Says, "We'll Charge For All Our Sites" · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Are you implying Rupert Murdoch cares what Jesus says? Rupert was probably one of the guys that got chased from the temple.

  19. Re:FlashBlock may not be fast enough on 92% of Windows PCs Vulnerable To Zero-Day Attacks On Flash · · Score: 1

    Flashblock e.g. could be making some of the same API calls that Flash does on startup and can screw it up in many ways e.g. by not returning from some function or by setting some goofy variable. You don't know the extent of the initialization. I personally love Flashblock... the web was starting to get really annoying.

  20. North Korea Takes Credit for Hitting Jupiter on Is Jupiter Earth's Cosmic Protector? · · Score: 2, Funny

    (Pyongyang, NK) A defiant North Korea announced the launch of a projectile the size of several soccer fields (football fields in the U.S.) that struck Jupiter today. As it descended into Jupiter's cloud tops it was transmitting data and broadcasting the "Song of General Kim Il-sung" and "Song of General Kim Jong-Il", about Kim Jong-Il and his father.

    North Korea's neighbors condemned the launch as "unfortunate". The U.S. State Department declined to comment, although in another display of his ability to mitigate, President Obama has invited Kim Jong-Il to meet him on Jupiter for a beer.

  21. Re:others trying to force their morales on us on Reprogrammed Skin Cells Turned Into Baby Mice · · Score: 1

    You see, the problem is, you end up possibly killing someone else if you are wrong.

    No, the identity of your "victim" doesn't change simply because some busy bodies in a church decide they know what the definition of a "human" is.
    Whether something is human or not human describes a lot about it/them, but sometimes the word is just not useful other than to say it's ambiguous.
    The actual facts you're discussing can easily be discussed in terms everyone agrees on (e.g. "cells" or even "human cells" are both conventional phrases (which in itself proves nothing BTW)). Anyone who shows up insisting on something fitting the definition of a contentious word or not- usually by yakking about stuff in the dictionary- is simply not adding to the discussion. Dictionaries are irrelevant here.

  22. Windows is the wisest choice on Apple Dominates "Premium PC" Market · · Score: 1

    Say you're about to write a virus or worm, which OS do you use? Windows has an extensive installed base, offering a richly interconnected malware network, with more nodes.

    Malware doesn't follow the economic rules that normal software does, and the usual market forces that normally make people write software for Macs aren't present. The only marketplace decision is made by you as you write it- not like normal software which has to appeal to actual users. Your customer base is some gang in Suffixistan. Competition is virtually nonexistent in malware. Nobody thinks "my machine is already infected, so I'm all set for viruses". Provided other malware on the machine doesn't target your code or starve it for machine resources, you don't really care. Competing operating systems aren't as compelling. Normal software authors have an untapped market for Mac software to consider, with wealthy fanboys itching to spend money, but that untapped market aspect makes little difference for malware. Even if you want to augment your existing network with Mac nodes, porting the worm offers less than a 2X increase in network size. And the exploit code will be different; plus fewer people are looking into Mac exploits. As long as Windows has more than a 51% market share, it will be the dominant OS for malware.

  23. Re:Liability on Bars' Scanning of ID Violates BC Privacy Laws · · Score: 1
    Why did bars think this system was a necessity in the first place?
    • To keep out people such as myself who have occasionally had heated yet articulate discussions with other bar patrons regarding legitimate personal issues of great interest.
    • So they can send "targeted" junk mail. For example, I've been getting catalogues from companies selling brass knuckles, guns, pickup trucks, and fish stickers (you stick them on the back of the car and they have magnetic ones too). It's hard to resist spending money.
  24. What are these twist ties you speak of? on Cable Management To Defeat Clutter? · · Score: 1

    All the loaves of bread in my refrigerator are always half empty with the bag twisted and tucked under.

  25. Re:The downside of high capacity batteries. on FOIA Documents Detail iPods Overheating, Catching Fire · · Score: 1

    The Snickers bar doesn't have the oxidizer thoroughly permeating the candy; TNT has the fuel and its oxidizier perched on the same molecule. If you carefully mix the right oxidizer into the candy bar you can get it to explode too but you'll never mix it as thoroughly.

    TNT explosions release a lot of soot since the reaction produces carbon monoxide and elemental carbon, which can both be burned. So it really has a higher energy density than it releases when it explodes.