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User: Faust7

Faust7's activity in the archive.

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Comments · 816

  1. Quick diagnosis... on 'Brain Pacemakers' Being Tested · · Score: 2, Funny

    "You've got the crazies. I prescribe 5 milliamps every 3 hours."

  2. Zzzzzt! on 'Brain Pacemakers' Being Tested · · Score: 1

    devices implanted in patients' bodies to deliver precisely targeted electrical stimulation to the brain

    Yeah, they should watch the resistor values in that thing very very carefully.

  3. Drinking and differentiation on Five Free Calculus Textbooks · · Score: 1

    Drinking and Deriving.

    "Hey baby, let me find the tangent to your curves."

  4. Ah, English on Navy Unveils Polyglot Chat For Iraq · · Score: 5, Funny

    Two nations no longer divided by a common language

    Indeed. I can't tell you how many fights erupt when a Brit asks a Yank for a cigarette.

  5. The correct language... on Navy Unveils Polyglot Chat For Iraq · · Score: 4, Funny

    Chat software to be used in Iraq that automatically translates your messages into the correct language of the reader, called the the Coalition Chat Line

    Iraq doubleplusgood / Iraqpersons secure / foodwater supplies up 82% / Kerry verging crimethink / oldthinkers unbellyfeel Bush / think in Bushspeak.

  6. Slightly off-topic, but seriously, what the heck? on Super Tuesday Not So Super For Electronic Voting · · Score: 1

    From CNN:

    In Vermont, favorite son Howard Dean will win the primary there, CNN projects according to exit polls.

    Not to troll, but what on earth is wrong with them? Why would they vote for someone who's no longer in the race?

  7. Oh, oh yeah? on Space Elevators Going Up · · Score: 5, Funny

    In the post-9/11 world, the first space elevator, built by the United States, would be a tempting target for terrorism.

    Not if our brand-new Department of Homespace Security has anything to say about it!

    Imagine, if you will, a solid 3D column of security, with an outer edge in the shape of the U.S., starting at the U.S. and extending infinitely into space. I think if we tried, we could even make it glow the whole way. Put a scare into some of those E.T.'s.

  8. Fwoosh! on Space Elevators Going Up · · Score: 4, Funny

    "If the whole thing fell somehow like you cut it at the counterweight, cut it way up at the counterweight, it would wrap around the Earth a couple of times," Laubscher says.

    Well, that's fine. Calculate the length of that sucker just right and you've got a quick, exhilarating way to travel from one point on Earth to another.

  9. Hitchhiker's Guide! on Magic Words - Interactive Fiction in the 21st Century · · Score: 5, Informative

    The feature includes an overview of the genre and its history,

    Man, and only one brief mention of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

    Seriously, that game takes the prize for descriptive prose. Forget "eerie dungeons" and "lush fields" and whatnot--the opening takes the cake:

    "You wake up. The room is spinning very gently round your head. Or at least it would be if you could see it which you can't."

  10. I have a question. on Cybersecurity Firms Form Industry Association · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Why on earth isn't Microsoft on this list?

    Now, before anyone chimes in with "Microsoft? Security? Thou smoketh crack!" ... consider this:

    Members said the group's mission is to improve cybersecurity through public policy initiatives, public-sector partnerships, corporate outreach, academic programs, adoption of industry technology standards and public education.

    Microsoft is an influence in some of those areas, a heavy influence in others, and a governing influence in others.

    Would it not be of vital importance that they be a member of this group?

  11. That periscope wigs me out. on What (non-PC) Hardware Do You Hack? · · Score: 2, Interesting

    If you're looking anywhere other than out your windows or at your dashboard while you're driving, there are issues.

    And it's nice to know that my dreams of Internet toast have been fulfilled.

    Anyone with a little skill/determination (yeah, that's a slash, not an "and") can hack anything; I think a more interesting article would be about maverick hacks that actually turned out to be useful. Like, say someone turned a toaster into a door-to-door salesman irradiation device. That would be amazingly useful.

  12. Possibilities on What (non-PC) Hardware Do You Hack? · · Score: 5, Funny

    Almost any kind of consumer electronic equipment can be modified to do things it wasn't intended to do.

    *eyes electric massagers*

    You don't saaaay....

  13. *slams head against wall* on Two Spam Filters 10 Times As Accurate As Humans · · Score: 5, Funny

    I received an email from my sister-in-law from her work

    Yeah, so did I. The subject line was "I want you so bad."

    I deleted it. Turned out the message was genuine. I'll never forgive myself...

  14. Flaming over Windows? on Wind River Partners With Red Hat On Embedded Linux · · Score: 2, Funny

    And "everyone else" is running Windows on their x86 hardware, and we all know how sterling an example of quality engineering either of those things are... (no flames, please)

    Dude, look around. You see any flames coming your way here?

  15. World domination, eh? on Robosapien: Latest Toy Robot From Mark Tilden · · Score: 4, Funny

    A full function fast moving robot minion suitable for all your world domination needs.

    *looks at robot*

    Well, sure, if you plan to dominate the portion of the world that's smaller than 14 inches.

    I guess that could work. I mean, if you control the floors and electrical outlets, you pretty much control everything.

  16. Cornell makes me say this... on Hamster-controlled MIDI · · Score: 5, Funny

    Looks like a hamster-controlled web server as well.

  17. An informal credo... on FBI Anti-Piracy Seal · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Neither seal, nor EULA, nor copy-protection, nor IP issues, nor ethical ramifications will dissuade the determined pirate.

  18. Hmmm... on Interplanetary Network (IPN) Tested · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    How about we get our intraplanetary network tip-top first?

    (j/k. Go NASA!)

  19. NASA, eh? on NASA Prepares to Open Source Code · · Score: 5, Funny

    Jeez, who's next, Microsoft?

  20. "Real" use, "meaningful" way on The Internet, Media and Politics · · Score: 3, Insightful

    for me this is the first *real* use of the Internet in a meaningful way.

    Not to get too off-topic here -- but I consider communicating with friends and family to be at least as important as political activism.

  21. I remember Conflict Resolution. Pfeh. on The Useless Meeting Wack Jobs · · Score: 3, Funny

    We had Conflict Resolution meetings in high school.

    The "Conflict Manager," as they were called, actually followed a script for the meeting, from a paper in plain view of those in attendance (the two kids that were fighting).

    I still remember the script (I had a lot of those meetings), and it went like this:

    "So, you both agree that you are here to solve a problem?"
    "Student X, what is it about Student Y with which you have an issue?"
    "Student Y, what is it about Student X with which you have an issue?"
    "Now, what can we do to resolve these issues?"
    "Do you both agree to take the steps we have outlined here?" (Always "Yes.")
    "Do you think we will need to see you two in the future?" ("No.")
    "Well then, thank you very much."

    And so it would be, until we fought again and were dragged into another Conflict Resolution meeting--held by a different CM this time, so as not to give the appearance of repetition. But like I said, I went a lot.

  22. GameCube on What to Get My Geek for Valentine's Day? · · Score: 1

    The budget is $100.

    A GameCube.

    But to use a GameCube to play games would require additional expenses. So get him a GameCube running Linux.

  23. Whoa, too nice? on Dream Jobs of 2004 · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Once you get through to them, engineers are too nice to hang up," says Fruehling.

    Do you really want us to supply counterexamples? :)

  24. Oh, everyone knows... on From Silicon To Microprocessors · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hellacious spawning vats in the dark dungeons of Intel, AMD, IBM, and Apple.

    *sqlorch*
    *SQLORCH* ...
    *Ding!*

  25. Makes me growl. on Jobs to India -- A Broad Look · · Score: 3, Interesting

    The six Hexawarians are sympathetic but unmoved. They disagree with the very premise that cheap labor is hurting the US.

    Seriously, then they need a brain refresher. This is one of the core issues, and it's really simple: Companies seek to maximize profit and minimize expenses. Expenses decrease with cheap labor. If cheap labor is outside the U.S., and can be logistically implemented for the company as such, there's a good chance they'll move some operations offshore. And this has in fact happened.

    And they think it's somewhat laughable that, because things aren't going exactly our way, ordinarily change-infatuated Americans are suddenly decrying change.

    How on earth is this a laughable thing? Change for the better, change for our better, is a totally pragmatic and understandable goal. When this goal is hurt, yes, we decry it. There's nothing laughable about that at all.

    Translation: We're not just cheaper, we're better.

    Tell that to Dell.