Regarding Katamari: The actual ending of the game has to be one of the best ever. The BGM along with the timing of the motion cues are dead-on perfect. Not to mention the 2 minute trance you're put into while spinning the earth around to pick up countries before the camera's POV pushes out into space. I don't think it could've been done any better.
No, the point of using a scaled back DS chipset would be to ensure that "New Game Boy" games would be compatible with the DS. Nothing stops a DS executable from only initializing one screen, only using the D-Pad and buttons for input, etc. Existing DS games wouldn't be compatible with the "New Game Boy", obviously.
I wouldn't be surprised if Nintendo's goal is to get a "stripped-down DS" out there as "the New Game Boy" for $75 or less. That way, they get their classic Nintendo price beachhead against Sony. And in the event DS software doesn't pan out, they won't get called on it since the DS would be "New Game Boy" software compatible.
From a pricing standpoint, it would play out as the inverse of the timeline for the GBA and the GBA SP. Did Nintendo push their "deluxe" unit first in the form of the DS? Was the DS released to steal the higher spenders away from Sony before the PSP launched, only to bridge them over to "New Game Boy" software when the time is right?
Nintendo would be suicidal to play it any other way. The new Game Boy should use the DS chipset without the frills (touch screen, microphone, wireless, second display) with the same cartridge form factor. That way, existing DS owners will have "forward" compatibility with the new Game Boy offerings and Nintendo doesn't end up segmenting their market.
"No it's not. The inescapable fact is that GC doesn't have the game library people want. I'm a Nintendo zealot and even *I* can't escape that one."
If you're going to directly compare the GameCube to the PS2, then the "right" library's not there because the "right" users aren't. Like I said, it's the marketing.
"For an extra $100? I seriously doubt everybody would find that to be a small price to pay."
Tell that to the buyers who bought PS2s hand over fist at $200 (and even $300) versus Nintendo. And once Sony's "Greatest Hits" line started kicking in heavy when the PS2 hit its $200 price point, buyers could get the best-of-the-best on PS2 for $19.99, while Nintendo was still charging $40 to $45 for their A-list titles. A couple of those and another GameCube memory card to support them will close that $100 console gap reeeeally quickly.
Not to mention the other, often overlooked "Greatest Hits" collection that Sony had in its corner -- The entire low-cost entertainment library of DVD Video. While it's true that Sony doesn't make as much from DVD patent licensing as it does from software licensing, it's still money in the bank, and it still attracts users to the platform. The meteoric rise of PlayStation 2 and the DVD format went very much hand-in-hand.
"Wrong. GTA3 and Vice City were 2 CD games. The space was taken up with music. A simple MP3 compression would have easily fit the entire of each of those games on one CD, let alone a 1.5 gig DVD."
PS2, Xbox, and PC owners are enjoying GTA3 and Vice City. Why aren't GameCube owners? Don't make it so it's not worth a third-party's time and effort to compete on your platform.
"Really? They're making a healthy profit. Maybe not as much as Sony, but they're still very much afloat. Sega wasn't so lucky."
Nintendo fans love to point out that Nintendo always makes a profit in the end, while overlooking that they can post a profit and still come out a loser. Nintendo's failure to respond to the Microsoft threat is especially distressing.
In a way, it also qualifies GameCube as a "Dreamcast II" from a numbers standpoint. It establishes that GameCube only posted as well as it did against Sony because Microsoft wasn't in town yet, analogous to Dreamcast vs. PS2.
Nintendo's going to have to pull out all the stops for the next one or just resign themselves to being third place in hardware. With the "oh, we only play games" strategy of the GameCube having failed, Nintendo has no choice but to shake things up for "Revolution". With Sony and Microsoft rising to the hardware challenge, Nintendo can't afford to run another weak hardware play. They need to come out punching and at least run even with Microsoft.
What remains to be seen is if third-parties (and buyers) will settle for another comparatively disappointing showing. If not, Nintendo will at least be forced into considering that becoming a third-party themselves would net more of a long-term profit than serving as first-party to a niche fanbase.
"I can buy a $30 DVD player. I seriously doubt DVDs on the GameCube would have really been all that interesting from a sales #'s point of view."
I'm tired of hearing this excuse. The lack of DVD support, coupled with the way-too-cute form factor and name, the kiddie purple launch color, and the anemic 59 block memory card killed mainstream adoption of the GameCube. It's an inescapable fact.
"Yeah, sure, I can buy a GameCube along with a $100 DVD player, but why bother when I can get a DVD and game player all in one with no wiring mess? Why get something that only plays these tiny little discs instead of something that plays my entire CD, DVD, and PSX library? Why buy a gay purple lunchbox with a handle when I can get a sleek, black, massive, number crunching, towering entertainment center?" I'm sorry, but this was the logic followed by Nintendo's prospective customer base, and Nintendo told them they were wrong and that they should pound sand. It's all about marketing now, and Microsoft's strong from-out-of-nowhere sales numbers prove it.
If Nintendo wants to play nextgen, they need to stop competing with the previous generation and start catering to what consumers in America and Europe want. The mini-DVD bullshit is the N64 cart fiasco all over again, and nobody wants to admit it. No excuse. Absolutely none. You can't even fit GTA3 or Katamari Damacy on a single GameCube mini-DVD.
The software will go where the third-parties want to take it. Don't make it so third-parties can't compete on your platform. Nintendo even (somehow) managed to fuck up the first-party lineup this time around.
I said it on launch day.. What they basically did was launch Dreamcast II against Sony. Turns out that wasn't such a great idea.
It'll probably play DVD Video and come with a universal cartridge adapter. Nintendo will claim universal compatibility with all Nintendo console titles.
Then Nintendo will fuck it up, right on schedule:
Nintendo hardware design team will somehow manage to make the console look like yet another cheap toy. Packaging team, eager to leave GCN handle debacle behind them, will suggest shipping the console to retailers in a commemorative bookbag with Pokemon all over it.
Some designer on his lunch break will manage to relocate the Z button directly on the left circular edge of the analog stick and shrink the d-pad by another 50%. The d-pad is laid out such that you have to flip the controller over and rotate it at a 45 degree angle even have access to the d-pad. Since Nintendo invented the d-pad, his co-workers do not question him.
Console shipping color will be purple, pink, or bright orange, and it will not have any Certified-Badass blue status LEDs. Don't worry: true to Nintendo form, the only accessories available in your local EB will be colored differently than your console.
System's flash memory cards/drives will be 16 times too small. Nintendo will bitch about how developers are getting too lazy, and how they should strive to fit 20 encyclopedias worth of data in 3 memory blocks. (will not be remedied until 4 years after console launch.) Sony takes note and evolves PS3's units of storage from "kilobytes" to "encyclopedias".
Sony will outbid Nintendo for exclusive "GTA4" to be released at PS3 launch, and no Mario game will be ready at 'Revolution' launch. To make up for it, Nintendo releases four games that are only 25% fun.
Console will have 8+ ports on the bottom that will never be used for anything, just so you know it's a Nintendo system. Will be left unlabeled, since "SP" acronym was already taken for something other than "Speculation Ports". Fucking idiots will lose port covers, causing console to sit unbalanced. Nintendo, sensing a new market for mismatched-colored accessories, starts selling replacement port covers.
Network adapter not integrated and no wireless connectivity except to the portable Dual Boy (which was released two years ago at Christmas). Simplicity-oriented Nintendo will hand the plug-and-play Internet gaming market to Sony and Microsoft on a silver platter.
Third parties, already scared away during the N64 and GCN iterations, go with Sony.
Nintendo will ship Ultra Mario Bros. a whole 8 months after system launch, which just happens to be in May, a nice safe 6 to 7 months away from the lucrative Christmas shopping season.
Ultra Mario Bros. will have some stupid goddamned gimmick, like Mario wearing (oh, I don't know..) toasters instead of shoes. He won't punch blocks or collect coins, though. God forbid he should punch blocks or collect fucking coins. Nobody born prior to 1993 will like the game, and everyone will bitch.
Similar bullshit happens with the next Zelda pre-post-post-pre-post-prequel. Oh, by the way, Link's a kid in this one again. And get this, he's got a musical instrument. There's an option available to turn off cel-shading, but only if you beat the game twice on the same save.
Miyamoto will surface from his underground bunker 3 weeks later to insist that the players are wrong and that Nintendo's new batch of artists and programmers are innovators and that toaster shoes improve gameplay and that Link was always a kid. Suddenly, noticing the Mushroom Signal in the skies high over Kyoto, he hurriedly leaves in order to urgently not-supervise the next Mario game.
Dual Boy SP will be released 3 years and 1 month (December 26th) after complaints surface about the screens on the original Dual Boy acting as a black hole. Upon finding that shining light from both screens cancels out any external light, thereby darkening the space around it and making it impossible to see much less play, Nintendo proudly proclaims that, hey, it worked in R&D!
Doki Doki Panic was a Japan-only disksystem release. It was rebranded as Super Mario Bros. 2 for US release, which was later re-released in Japan on cartridge as Super Mario Bros. USA.
"What I would love to see is a present day alternative to The Simpsons - new town, new characters, new voice actors (that would be willing to work for a 'paltry' salary per episode)"
The real reason Q was pissed off at humanity, of course, is that there was no letter Q on traditional phones. Nobody could key his name into the company phone directory to find his extension. You try spending a few centuries getting only wrong number calls and see how you turn out.
Back in the early libdream days, you had to write your own routines for 2D graphics (3D was still off-limits) by writing directly to video RAM. Today, KOS supports 3D acceleration via the PowerVR chip, as well as support for various other pieces of once-mysterious hardware. And the SDL port lets you take a break from writing directly to video memory if you're doing 2D.
dcQuad is another Dreamcast project which I started working on after finishing the DC version of robotfindskitten. I've been messing around with SDL in Windows a bit lately, and I look forward to getting up to speed on the KOS implementation for my next project.
If you were unable to attend or simply wish to review or archive the discussion, we have a text log and an HTML log available. By the end of the forum, over 600 observers were present. Thanks again to Rob and Jeff, everyone who submitted forum questions, and everyone in attendance!
There are only 200 blocks for user files when you format a Dreamcast VMU, but if you know which bytes to set in the directory track, you can get at least 241 blocks out of a standard VMU.
Dude, this is awesome! This iBooks-for-students program will help ex-class-clowns pass vital class trolling information on to today's youth.
Tell me, do you guys still do the "sun reflecting off wristwatch onto ceiling" thing to distract other students? Trust me, if you want high visibility RIGHT NOW, do the wristwatch thing. Cover it over if anyone suspects you. Do patterns on the ceiling, get people's attention, then go for what I like to call The Bouncer. Use the fine motor control of your thumb and index finger to bounce your dot of light off the top of the teacher's head until someone starts to laugh, then stop. If caught, claim you didn't know about it and you were just writing. Claim that the sun hit your arm at an awkward angle. Yeah, right!
How about the old "piece of chalk embedded in the eraser?" Do it when nobody could possibly suspect you, or you're busted. If you want something more stealth, just waste an entire piece of chalk drawing on the bottom of the eraser. It'll still leave a fair streak when the teacher uses it.
And now a point of advice. If you're going to trip someone walking up your aisle, have a book in front of you and make it look all innocent-like. You get your trip in, they fall on their face and think it was an accident (remember, it's okay to say you're sorry if it's for the greater good of making them look like an idiot), and your friends laugh at them. Double bonus points if the target either wears glasses or is considered a "dork". I got a detention when some weird freaky stuff went down, and things got all funky, so be careful.
Never underestimate the thrill of unacknowledged minor discord. If a quiz is being handed out, and you have to pass it back to the person behind you, take two so the count is always one short when it reaches the end. Hide one in a binder in case the teacher does a re-count. It's not high visibility, but it'll make the loser sitting in the back feel left out and unimportant, so it's Mission Accomplished. This is obviously only for part-time class clowns, as any real class clown would have a seat in the back anyway. Therefore, it'll only happen if you're residing in what we used to call the "summer villa" or "Chateau de Busted" (aka the front of the class). Only good for use once every two months or so, lest you raise someone's suspicion.
If you have something like a Music Arts class where listening is key, weird noises are the way to go. I built my rep on weird noises. Mouth noises are best because there's no evidence. The common belch is the preferred sound. Don't be afraid to push the envelope though. If there's one facet of class clowning that just screams "look at me!", it's weird noises! Your iBook could come in handy here..
Find a Bic 4-color pen. Why? You can turn it into a ink cartridge launcher if you're good with pen springs. If you're not, I'd suggest working your way up from the cheap but effective Bic single-barrel spring loaders. Use your imagination, springs are your friend. If there are no springs in the vicinity, find one of the tried and true Bic Round Stic pens. Clamp the inner part of the head-end for easy disassembly and just discard the tail. You've got yourself a makeshift spitball launcher.
Draw on your desk. Draw in your book. For the love of.. JUST DRAW ON ANYTHING YOU CAN! It's there for you to draw on! If they didn't want it to be drawn upon, they wouldn't have made it so.. available! Write the wrong answers in your textbook (or if you're bold, someone else's)! Make it LAST! Inside operatives have informed me that I have stuff that's STILL THERE, 11 years later! People will remember your name! You'll be a LEGEND! "Solve" your math book! Draw humorous captions for the people in your History book! Draw French captions for the people in your Spanish book! Draw beakers and stuff exploding in your Science book! Surely, there's no end to the fun you can have with a pen and an undefiled book.
Cheerios make amazingly good flick-weapons. Their O shape allows you to mount it on your finger indefinitely, if need be, prior to flicking it at someone. Double bonus if you flick it, it hits someone, and lands near a clowning ally. The ally is bound by honor to eat it and get rid of the evidence. You're free and clear.
If you're the no-regrets type, just bring a Game Boy into class and start playing. Just out of nowhere. Blindside everyone. Inch the volume up until someone notices your unique interpretation of the word "quiet". As a word of caution, I got busted and had one confiscated in Social Studies for this (back when they were $100 a pop), and then some buttmunch stole it from the teacher's desk (a class clown's utopia, if you know to get into it). I don't know how teachers react to strange foreign beeping blinking crap in 2003, but if it's anything like it was in 1989, watch out.
Speaking of that buttmunch, you'll always want to have a strategy for revenge. If your school has a Library or Media Center and your class is visiting it, jam a bunch of books and other assorted crap into the target's backpack while nobody is looking. Seek out the librarian and notify him that you saw the target student stealing a crapload of books. Hilarity ensues.
Feel free to print this on your school-issued iBook and pass it on to any interested parties. I agree with Maine's governor, the computer truly is a GREAT tool for education!
Trust me, as someone who got a record 9 detentions, somehow got banned from recess from 1991-1992 (long story), and drove the principal mad enough to resign, I know a thing or two about class-clowning! And let me tell you, that guidance counselor who says class clowns always finish last in life is full of it! I'm having the time of my life!
And high visibility definitely pays off at your class reunion. Nobody will remember the people who sleep through class, unless they do it with STYLE!
Just for the record, we also have a list of the questions that were sent to the bot, but not used due to time constraints. The d.net guys were nice enough to hang around for an hour or so after the forum was over (and after the log ended) to chat with everyone who stuck around.
Slashdot Mirror
Regarding Katamari: The actual ending of the game has to be one of the best ever. The BGM along with the timing of the motion cues are dead-on perfect. Not to mention the 2 minute trance you're put into while spinning the earth around to pick up countries before the camera's POV pushes out into space. I don't think it could've been done any better.
This explains why koopa shells disappear when you kick them off the right side of the screen in Super Mario Bros..
I wouldn't be surprised if Nintendo's goal is to get a "stripped-down DS" out there as "the New Game Boy" for $75 or less. That way, they get their classic Nintendo price beachhead against Sony. And in the event DS software doesn't pan out, they won't get called on it since the DS would be "New Game Boy" software compatible.
From a pricing standpoint, it would play out as the inverse of the timeline for the GBA and the GBA SP. Did Nintendo push their "deluxe" unit first in the form of the DS? Was the DS released to steal the higher spenders away from Sony before the PSP launched, only to bridge them over to "New Game Boy" software when the time is right?
Only time will tell..
Nintendo would be suicidal to play it any other way. The new Game Boy should use the DS chipset without the frills (touch screen, microphone, wireless, second display) with the same cartridge form factor. That way, existing DS owners will have "forward" compatibility with the new Game Boy offerings and Nintendo doesn't end up segmenting their market.
It sure would.
If you're going to directly compare the GameCube to the PS2, then the "right" library's not there because the "right" users aren't. Like I said, it's the marketing.
Tell that to the buyers who bought PS2s hand over fist at $200 (and even $300) versus Nintendo. And once Sony's "Greatest Hits" line started kicking in heavy when the PS2 hit its $200 price point, buyers could get the best-of-the-best on PS2 for $19.99, while Nintendo was still charging $40 to $45 for their A-list titles. A couple of those and another GameCube memory card to support them will close that $100 console gap reeeeally quickly.
Not to mention the other, often overlooked "Greatest Hits" collection that Sony had in its corner -- The entire low-cost entertainment library of DVD Video. While it's true that Sony doesn't make as much from DVD patent licensing as it does from software licensing, it's still money in the bank, and it still attracts users to the platform. The meteoric rise of PlayStation 2 and the DVD format went very much hand-in-hand.
PS2, Xbox, and PC owners are enjoying GTA3 and Vice City. Why aren't GameCube owners? Don't make it so it's not worth a third-party's time and effort to compete on your platform.
Nintendo fans love to point out that Nintendo always makes a profit in the end, while overlooking that they can post a profit and still come out a loser. Nintendo's failure to respond to the Microsoft threat is especially distressing.
In a way, it also qualifies GameCube as a "Dreamcast II" from a numbers standpoint. It establishes that GameCube only posted as well as it did against Sony because Microsoft wasn't in town yet, analogous to Dreamcast vs. PS2.
Nintendo's going to have to pull out all the stops for the next one or just resign themselves to being third place in hardware. With the "oh, we only play games" strategy of the GameCube having failed, Nintendo has no choice but to shake things up for "Revolution". With Sony and Microsoft rising to the hardware challenge, Nintendo can't afford to run another weak hardware play. They need to come out punching and at least run even with Microsoft.
What remains to be seen is if third-parties (and buyers) will settle for another comparatively disappointing showing. If not, Nintendo will at least be forced into considering that becoming a third-party themselves would net more of a long-term profit than serving as first-party to a niche fanbase.
I'm tired of hearing this excuse. The lack of DVD support, coupled with the way-too-cute form factor and name, the kiddie purple launch color, and the anemic 59 block memory card killed mainstream adoption of the GameCube. It's an inescapable fact.
"Yeah, sure, I can buy a GameCube along with a $100 DVD player, but why bother when I can get a DVD and game player all in one with no wiring mess? Why get something that only plays these tiny little discs instead of something that plays my entire CD, DVD, and PSX library? Why buy a gay purple lunchbox with a handle when I can get a sleek, black, massive, number crunching, towering entertainment center?" I'm sorry, but this was the logic followed by Nintendo's prospective customer base, and Nintendo told them they were wrong and that they should pound sand. It's all about marketing now, and Microsoft's strong from-out-of-nowhere sales numbers prove it.
If Nintendo wants to play nextgen, they need to stop competing with the previous generation and start catering to what consumers in America and Europe want. The mini-DVD bullshit is the N64 cart fiasco all over again, and nobody wants to admit it. No excuse. Absolutely none. You can't even fit GTA3 or Katamari Damacy on a single GameCube mini-DVD.
The software will go where the third-parties want to take it. Don't make it so third-parties can't compete on your platform. Nintendo even (somehow) managed to fuck up the first-party lineup this time around.
I said it on launch day.. What they basically did was launch Dreamcast II against Sony. Turns out that wasn't such a great idea.
Kind of gives new meaning to "Nobody ever got fired for buying IBM".
I don't know why I happen to have a video clip of this handy.
Then someone has managed to send Microsoft Word 2003 (set to default margin, typeface, and font size) back in time to the Texas ANG.
You're new here, aren't you?
Then Nintendo will fuck it up, right on schedule:
Nintendo hardware design team will somehow manage to make the console look like yet another cheap toy. Packaging team, eager to leave GCN handle debacle behind them, will suggest shipping the console to retailers in a commemorative bookbag with Pokemon all over it.
Some designer on his lunch break will manage to relocate the Z button directly on the left circular edge of the analog stick and shrink the d-pad by another 50%. The d-pad is laid out such that you have to flip the controller over and rotate it at a 45 degree angle even have access to the d-pad. Since Nintendo invented the d-pad, his co-workers do not question him.
Console shipping color will be purple, pink, or bright orange, and it will not have any Certified-Badass blue status LEDs. Don't worry: true to Nintendo form, the only accessories available in your local EB will be colored differently than your console.
System's flash memory cards/drives will be 16 times too small. Nintendo will bitch about how developers are getting too lazy, and how they should strive to fit 20 encyclopedias worth of data in 3 memory blocks. (will not be remedied until 4 years after console launch.) Sony takes note and evolves PS3's units of storage from "kilobytes" to "encyclopedias".
Sony will outbid Nintendo for exclusive "GTA4" to be released at PS3 launch, and no Mario game will be ready at 'Revolution' launch. To make up for it, Nintendo releases four games that are only 25% fun.
Console will have 8+ ports on the bottom that will never be used for anything, just so you know it's a Nintendo system. Will be left unlabeled, since "SP" acronym was already taken for something other than "Speculation Ports". Fucking idiots will lose port covers, causing console to sit unbalanced. Nintendo, sensing a new market for mismatched-colored accessories, starts selling replacement port covers.
Network adapter not integrated and no wireless connectivity except to the portable Dual Boy (which was released two years ago at Christmas). Simplicity-oriented Nintendo will hand the plug-and-play Internet gaming market to Sony and Microsoft on a silver platter.
Third parties, already scared away during the N64 and GCN iterations, go with Sony.
Nintendo will ship Ultra Mario Bros. a whole 8 months after system launch, which just happens to be in May, a nice safe 6 to 7 months away from the lucrative Christmas shopping season.
Ultra Mario Bros. will have some stupid goddamned gimmick, like Mario wearing (oh, I don't know..) toasters instead of shoes. He won't punch blocks or collect coins, though. God forbid he should punch blocks or collect fucking coins. Nobody born prior to 1993 will like the game, and everyone will bitch.
Similar bullshit happens with the next Zelda pre-post-post-pre-post-prequel. Oh, by the way, Link's a kid in this one again. And get this, he's got a musical instrument. There's an option available to turn off cel-shading, but only if you beat the game twice on the same save.
Miyamoto will surface from his underground bunker 3 weeks later to insist that the players are wrong and that Nintendo's new batch of artists and programmers are innovators and that toaster shoes improve gameplay and that Link was always a kid. Suddenly, noticing the Mushroom Signal in the skies high over Kyoto, he hurriedly leaves in order to urgently not-supervise the next Mario game.
Dual Boy SP will be released 3 years and 1 month (December 26th) after complaints surface about the screens on the original Dual Boy acting as a black hole. Upon finding that shining light from both screens cancels out any external light, thereby darkening the space around it and making it impossible to see much less play, Nintendo proudly proclaims that, hey, it worked in R&D!
Jak
Doki Doki Panic was a Japan-only disksystem release. It was rebranded as Super Mario Bros. 2 for US release, which was later re-released in Japan on cartridge as Super Mario Bros. USA.
"__ __!"
It was called Family Guy.
The way I've heard it is "it's always easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission".
The real reason Q was pissed off at humanity, of course, is that there was no letter Q on traditional phones. Nobody could key his name into the company phone directory to find his extension. You try spending a few centuries getting only wrong number calls and see how you turn out.
Back in the early libdream days, you had to write your own routines for 2D graphics (3D was still off-limits) by writing directly to video RAM. Today, KOS supports 3D acceleration via the PowerVR chip, as well as support for various other pieces of once-mysterious hardware. And the SDL port lets you take a break from writing directly to video memory if you're doing 2D.
dcQuad is another Dreamcast project which I started working on after finishing the DC version of robotfindskitten. I've been messing around with SDL in Windows a bit lately, and I look forward to getting up to speed on the KOS implementation for my next project.
That's a nice screenshot, but it still doesn't top the best Slashdot contradiction ever.
If you were unable to attend or simply wish to review or archive the discussion, we have a text log and an HTML log available. By the end of the forum, over 600 observers were present. Thanks again to Rob and Jeff, everyone who submitted forum questions, and everyone in attendance!
There are only 200 blocks for user files when you format a Dreamcast VMU, but if you know which bytes to set in the directory track, you can get at least 241 blocks out of a standard VMU.
Tell me, do you guys still do the "sun reflecting off wristwatch onto ceiling" thing to distract other students? Trust me, if you want high visibility RIGHT NOW, do the wristwatch thing. Cover it over if anyone suspects you. Do patterns on the ceiling, get people's attention, then go for what I like to call The Bouncer. Use the fine motor control of your thumb and index finger to bounce your dot of light off the top of the teacher's head until someone starts to laugh, then stop. If caught, claim you didn't know about it and you were just writing. Claim that the sun hit your arm at an awkward angle. Yeah, right!
How about the old "piece of chalk embedded in the eraser?" Do it when nobody could possibly suspect you, or you're busted. If you want something more stealth, just waste an entire piece of chalk drawing on the bottom of the eraser. It'll still leave a fair streak when the teacher uses it.
And now a point of advice. If you're going to trip someone walking up your aisle, have a book in front of you and make it look all innocent-like. You get your trip in, they fall on their face and think it was an accident (remember, it's okay to say you're sorry if it's for the greater good of making them look like an idiot), and your friends laugh at them. Double bonus points if the target either wears glasses or is considered a "dork". I got a detention when some weird freaky stuff went down, and things got all funky, so be careful.
Never underestimate the thrill of unacknowledged minor discord. If a quiz is being handed out, and you have to pass it back to the person behind you, take two so the count is always one short when it reaches the end. Hide one in a binder in case the teacher does a re-count. It's not high visibility, but it'll make the loser sitting in the back feel left out and unimportant, so it's Mission Accomplished. This is obviously only for part-time class clowns, as any real class clown would have a seat in the back anyway. Therefore, it'll only happen if you're residing in what we used to call the "summer villa" or "Chateau de Busted" (aka the front of the class). Only good for use once every two months or so, lest you raise someone's suspicion.
If you have something like a Music Arts class where listening is key, weird noises are the way to go. I built my rep on weird noises. Mouth noises are best because there's no evidence. The common belch is the preferred sound. Don't be afraid to push the envelope though. If there's one facet of class clowning that just screams "look at me!", it's weird noises! Your iBook could come in handy here..
Find a Bic 4-color pen. Why? You can turn it into a ink cartridge launcher if you're good with pen springs. If you're not, I'd suggest working your way up from the cheap but effective Bic single-barrel spring loaders. Use your imagination, springs are your friend. If there are no springs in the vicinity, find one of the tried and true Bic Round Stic pens. Clamp the inner part of the head-end for easy disassembly and just discard the tail. You've got yourself a makeshift spitball launcher.
Draw on your desk. Draw in your book. For the love of.. JUST DRAW ON ANYTHING YOU CAN! It's there for you to draw on! If they didn't want it to be drawn upon, they wouldn't have made it so.. available! Write the wrong answers in your textbook (or if you're bold, someone else's)! Make it LAST! Inside operatives have informed me that I have stuff that's STILL THERE, 11 years later! People will remember your name! You'll be a LEGEND! "Solve" your math book! Draw humorous captions for the people in your History book! Draw French captions for the people in your Spanish book! Draw beakers and stuff exploding in your Science book! Surely, there's no end to the fun you can have with a pen and an undefiled book.
Cheerios make amazingly good flick-weapons. Their O shape allows you to mount it on your finger indefinitely, if need be, prior to flicking it at someone. Double bonus if you flick it, it hits someone, and lands near a clowning ally. The ally is bound by honor to eat it and get rid of the evidence. You're free and clear.
If you're the no-regrets type, just bring a Game Boy into class and start playing. Just out of nowhere. Blindside everyone. Inch the volume up until someone notices your unique interpretation of the word "quiet". As a word of caution, I got busted and had one confiscated in Social Studies for this (back when they were $100 a pop), and then some buttmunch stole it from the teacher's desk (a class clown's utopia, if you know to get into it). I don't know how teachers react to strange foreign beeping blinking crap in 2003, but if it's anything like it was in 1989, watch out.
Speaking of that buttmunch, you'll always want to have a strategy for revenge. If your school has a Library or Media Center and your class is visiting it, jam a bunch of books and other assorted crap into the target's backpack while nobody is looking. Seek out the librarian and notify him that you saw the target student stealing a crapload of books. Hilarity ensues.
Feel free to print this on your school-issued iBook and pass it on to any interested parties. I agree with Maine's governor, the computer truly is a GREAT tool for education!
Trust me, as someone who got a record 9 detentions, somehow got banned from recess from 1991-1992 (long story), and drove the principal mad enough to resign, I know a thing or two about class-clowning! And let me tell you, that guidance counselor who says class clowns always finish last in life is full of it! I'm having the time of my life!
And high visibility definitely pays off at your class reunion. Nobody will remember the people who sleep through class, unless they do it with STYLE!
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Just for the record, we also have a list of the questions that were sent to the bot, but not used due to time constraints. The d.net guys were nice enough to hang around for an hour or so after the forum was over (and after the log ended) to chat with everyone who stuck around.
We've got the DCTI forum logs up if anyone missed the IRC chat.