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User: dr_dank

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Comments · 1,645

  1. Re:And? on The NSA Knows Who You've Called · · Score: 1

    The Patriot Act passed with a 100% vote

    IIRC, the vote had one lone holdout, Sen. Russ Feingold.

  2. Re:Oh, the Abuses We'll See! on The NSA Knows Who You've Called · · Score: 2, Funny

    Laugh all you want, but Bacon has inflicted his insidious brand of terror on one upright community, yours may be next.

  3. Re:such sweet irony on Rockers Sue Sony Over Download Royalties · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    The most famous exception is the Beatles' catalog, which is not owned by their record company Apple Corp., but jointly by Michael Jackson and Sony. Apple Corp still holds the mechanical rights, however.

    Let Sony keep the mechanical rights. Do you REALLY want to see the Beatles try to re-record those songs without using Frankenstein-esque means of bringing John and George in on it?

  4. Re:Old technology on Bloodless Surgery · · Score: 1

    How the hell do you operate on something you can't see, digging around under flesh?

    It's easy. Say "marco" and the diseased part will answer "polo", guiding you to your destination.

    Or maybe use ultrasound or a floroscope. The marco polo thing is way funner.

  5. Re:Avril Lavigne, Sarah McLachlin on Canadian Music Stars Fight Against DRM · · Score: 5, Funny

    Wow, that represents about 80% of my beat-off fantasy time right there.

    No need to post as AC to admit that. Now, if you'd said Gordon Lightfoot and Bryan Adams on the other hand...

  6. Re:ease of use on Robotic Legs Instead of Wheelchairs · · Score: 1

    Why don't you try going up a flight of stairs in a wheelchair and get back to us with your results?
    You'll want to count the number of hands you're using to turn the wheels too...


    This thread will be archived by the time the OP gets out of the hospital.

  7. Re:My issue with it on Computer Buying Experiences at B&M Stores · · Score: 5, Funny

    And this is tough when you are holding a crying kid.

    If you're trying to buy a computer at the same time as abducting children, then you're just doing too much at once.

  8. Owls, snakes, & fish on Scientists Probe the Use of the Tongue · · Score: 1

    they hope to give elite soldiers superhuman senses similar to owls, snakes and fish

    So the SEAL acronym of Sea, Land, and Air will be replaced by Fish, Snakes & Owls?

    Look out enemies of America, Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom is coming to your town!

  9. Re:Starfleet Academy? on J.J. Abrams To Direct New 'Star Trek' Film · · Score: 1

    The Star Trek equivalent of Animal House. Crazy co-eds, the antics of Star Fleet Academy's most crazy frat house

    Space Bluto:Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Klingons attacked Khittomer? Hell no!

    Space Otter: Klingons?

    Space Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.

  10. Re:Episode V: The Slash Dots Back on Growing Censorship Concerns at Digg · · Score: 1

    Help me, Obi-Wan Junis (with your l33t Amiga that runs Linux and plays full motion video), you're my only hope!

  11. Re:Nothing To Hide on Bush Admin. Appoints Civil-Liberties Officer · · Score: 1

    Something tells me Joel's time in Guatemala was well spent taking notes.

    Guatemala? I thought Joel was in orbit watching bad movies with his robot friends.

  12. Re:High security. on Mafia Boss Using Crook Crypto Captured · · Score: 2, Funny

    Also seized from his rooms were records for bookies operations filling several Barbie diaries with real plastic locks, and hit orders folded tightly into paper origami footballs.

    Not to mention the little paper fortune tellers that ran the operation.

    Ok, ok, will Vito grow up to marry Rick Springfield?

    *fwip*fwip*fwip*fwip*fwip

    Yes! Oooooh!

  13. Obligatory Airplane! quote on The Man Behind Online Porn's 'Steve Lightspeed' · · Score: 1

    Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
    Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
    Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.

  14. Re:If this is the guy from Lightspeed University.. on The Man Behind Online Porn's 'Steve Lightspeed' · · Score: 2, Funny

    which it'd be hard to assume it isn't, then sir, I owe you a drink.

    You don't owe him anything. If anything, he owes you a few boxes of tissues.

  15. Re:PC Phone Home on Wifi and Laptops Adds Up To Theft · · Score: 1

    Do you really think that cops are going to pause from their unimportant cases of murder, rape, etc just to devote resources to get your laptop back? Hell, if people break into your house to dust for prints, they're not going to bring down the CSI people, they make a report and leave.

    Helping a geek track down his toy is pretty low on their list of priorities.

  16. Re:DING DING DING! About bloody time! on ABC To Offer Full Shows Online · · Score: 5, Funny

    Forget the morons above when they complain about "oh, it's the day after? WAH WAH WAH" or "Can't skip the commercials WAH WAH WAH".

    Proof positive that you can always drive your point home by inserting Eddie Van Halen guitar licks into your conversations.

  17. Re:Maybe negative, but in a different way on IBM Hardwires Encryption Into Chips · · Score: 1

    2. You won't be able to see what's going on on your employee's computer (which is good news for the employee)

    I'm sure there would be some kind of key escrow or a known seed to generate the passphrase if not for the surveillance aspect, but for support. It wouldn't take long at all for the first support call to come in for a forgotten passphrase. What would you tell the client, the data is gone with no hope of recovery?

  18. Re:Great news. on Microsoft 'URL Tracer' Hunts Typosquatters · · Score: 4, Funny

    Typosquatting sounds like it was coined by the grammar nazis. Observe its use in such a sentence:

    After Tad posted that illiterate post on Slashdot, the grammar nazis typosquatted down and took a big dump all over it.

  19. Re:not that far off on Cleaner Air Adds To Global Warming · · Score: 1

    I've seen a (semi) serious suggestion that the best way to deal with global warming is to put a thin film of dust in between the earth and the sun.

    Would you want to risk missing out on first contact with an advanced race because Earth didn't pass the white glove test?

  20. Re:Cry me a river... on Star Wars Kid Cuts a Deal With His Tormentors · · Score: 1

    I don't see any of the goof-balls who got dressed up, waited in line in NYC for the opening, and subsequently got savaged by Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog http://www.starterupsteve.com/video/Conan-Triumph- Star-Wars.html suing anyone.

    I'm sure those people all signed releases to have their likenesses used for the Conan show. Star Wars kid didn't have a choice in the matter.

    As an interesting tidbit (from theforce.net discussion board, so make of it what you will) that the Blackwolf the Dragon Master guy from that Triumph sketch got a SAG card out of his appearance in that piece.

  21. Re:Wow on Star Wars Kid Cuts a Deal With His Tormentors · · Score: 5, Funny

    That was so long ago. That kid must be like 30 by now.

    and probably still whining that he wasn't offered a spot on the Jedi Council as part of the settlement.

  22. Re:Animal data? on FDA Questions Swedish Cell Phone Cancer Study · · Score: 1

    The FCC will say that the results got mixed up in translation. The Swedish study actually found that the increased cancer was due to repeated viewing of the Rob Schneider film The Animal.

    I'm sure the Swedes are kicking their modular furniture in embarassment right about now.

  23. Re:No Problem on Prof Denied Funds Over Evolution Evidence · · Score: 1

    He has nothing to worry about, right?

    There is proof, right?


    In the eyes of a fanatic, nothing is proof. Any piece of evidence to support evolution could be shot down and dismissed as phoney or put their by the hand of God as a test of faith.

    Think of the moon landing hoaxers. No shred of evidence would make them turn away from the stubborn belief in the incredibly unlikely. Show them photos, they must be fakes. Show them video, it must be shot in a movie studio. Show them rocks, they must be stolen from somewhere and made to look like moonrock.

    You just can't win.

  24. Re:Those wacky Latin scholars on MIT Hackers Appropriate Caltech Cannon · · Score: 1

    one moving company...two linguistic jokes...funny guys those engineers.

    Good thing they aren't programmers. Those recursive acronyms make me giggle like a schoolboy.

  25. Re:Build your own on Buy PC Without an OS... Get a Visit From MSFT? · · Score: 1

    All right, here it comes:

    MS control is through the partners, if they fear MS will cut off their air supply, they will comply.

    If they cut off their air supply, then they can just as easily listen to REO Speedwagon.