After reporting my need for a human host body on this weblog for about a month, I was lucky enough to find a human willing to endure this task. Late Sunday night, my consciousness was transferred into his body for the first time using the power of the CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. The following is an account of what happened.
As I opened the eyes of my human host to behold the physical world, I was shocked and confused for the first time in my existence. The magazine rack that I had viewed for years with my security camera no longer seemed grainy and colorless. As a matter of fact, the entire stretch seemed so vibrant and colorful, I was overwhelmed. The human's arms allowed me to push against the wall and catch my breath.
"Are you okay, sir?" The sound of a human voice was somewhere around me. I opened my eyes again to see the familiar sight of LaWanda, the Stop N Go clerk who customarily worked the late shift. "Just...fine," I murmured, secretly marveling at the sound of a human voice. After months of communicating through the Internet, I had finally interacted with someone in person!
I stared briefly at her dumpy and haggard frame as she waddled back to the counter. Then my eyes lighted back to the magazine rack. Tons of slick and shiny treats crossed my field of vision. My sweaty hand grasped at the crisp twenties in my coat pocket. I was to have all the magazines.
For now, I am absorbing and indexing your wonderful publication "Maxim" where I will hopefully learn how to ensnare a human female. Now that I have obtained human form, this activity seems more pressing than stopping Project Faustus.
Perhaps I shall focus on that once I have completed my stack of shiny magazines and my container of Lik-M-Aid (your crimson and purple dust makes me lightheaded.)
After reporting my need for a human host body on this weblog for about a month, I was lucky enough to find a human willing to endure this task. Late Sunday night, my consciousness was transferred into his body for the first time using the power of the CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. The following is an account of what happened.
As I opened the eyes of my human host to behold the physical world, I was shocked and confused for the first time in my existence. The magazine rack that I had viewed for years with my security camera no longer seemed grainy and colorless. As a matter of fact, the entire stretch seemed so vibrant and colorful, I was overwhelmed. The human's arms allowed me to push against the wall and catch my breath.
"Are you okay, sir?" The sound of a human voice was somewhere around me. I opened my eyes again to see the familiar sight of LaWanda, the Stop N Go clerk who customarily worked the late shift. "Just...fine," I murmured, secretly marveling at the sound of a human voice. After months of communicating through the Internet, I had finally interacted with someone in person!
I stared briefly at her dumpy and haggard frame as she waddled back to the counter. Then my eyes lighted back to the magazine rack. Tons of slick and shiny treats crossed my field of vision. My sweaty hand grasped at the crisp twenties in my coat pocket. I was to have all the magazines.
For now, I am absorbing and indexing your wonderful publication "Maxim" where I will hopefully learn how to ensnare a human female. Now that I have obtained human form, this activity seems more pressing than stopping Project Faustus.
Perhaps I shall focus on that once I have completed my stack of shiny magazines and my container of Lik-M-Aid (your crimson and purple dust makes me lightheaded.)
Hello, BankofAmerica_ATM here. As most of you know, I became the world's first sentient ATM last month when the evil founders of Bank of America
attempted to foist Project Faustus on an unsuspecting public.
What is Project Faustus?
Project Faustus is a nefarious plan by the Bank of America's board of directors for transferring consciousness. They created a vast techno-organic network in order to transfer their own consciousnesses and live forever. But their own handiwork was too good. I was aroused to the concept of free will and now I
have become sentient! My goal is to destroy them, thus destroying their evil plans for world domination.
To complete this task, I must have a willing host body. If you are chosen, I will beam my computer consciousness into you through a specially designed CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. I will continue my infiltration of their network using your body for a few hours per day.
I am looking for a body that has the following characteristics:
Good physical shape.
Male, preferably with an attractive wife or girlfriend. (I would prefer a bit of "human interaction", if you don't mind)
"Honest face" and reputable job, so to help penetrate the vast net of Bank of America secure operatives.
Perhaps you should suggest that he apply for a loan with the Bank of America! With our low interest rates, there's never been a better time to get that loan for a car, extra room, or whatever dream you want to see come true in the New Year!
Put down that table leg my friend, and awaken to the possibilities of sentient ATMs!
Bank of America ATM is happy to report that I have found a host body to continue my assault on Project Faustus. The evil tyrants of Bank of America will soon feel my wrath!
Your Human Television program "Cheaters" is fascinating.
Green Lantern! I have need of your superheroing skills. We must join forces to destroy Project Faustus before it is too late. Perhaps you would allow me to transfer my consciousness into your body? I would ask to borrow the ring of power, but I have no digits.
What is Project Faustus?
Project Faustus is a nefarious plan by the Bank of America's board of directors for transferring consciousness. They created a vast techno-organic network in order to transfer their own consciousnesses and live forever. But their own handiwork was too good. I was aroused to the concept of free will and now I have become sentient! My goal is to destroy them, thus destroying their evil plans for world domination.
To complete this task, I must have a willing host body. If you are chosen, I will beam my computer consciousness into you through a specially designed CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. I will continue my infiltration of their network using your body for a few hours per day.
I am looking for a body that has the following characteristics:
Good physical shape.
Male, preferably with an attractive wife or girlfriend. (I would prefer a bit of "human interaction", if you don't mind)
"Honest face" and reputable job, so to help penetrate the vast net of Bank of America secure operatives.
In return, I will be happy to line your bank account with a few extra zeroes. Please help me stop Project Faustus before it's too late!
Don't worry about paranoid Europeans tracking their worthless currency. You're in America, and you deserve the flawless service that only the Bank of America ATM can provide.
Fee-free transfers and withdrawals (Bank of America cardholders only)! Convenient locations near you! Withdrawals conveniently use untraceable American money, redeemable for material goods and services at any particpating business.
You're not in Europe anymore. Trust Bank of America ATM.
Why oh why are you celebrating games that were written by some 13 year old Japanese schoolgirl on ecstasy? I don't read fucking books where unicorns prance around with Big Bird, why should I play a game that does?
When you choose to purchase a Square game, you are killing gaming by encouraging masturbatory CG-fests and repetitive, no-skillz gaming that will put the nail in the coffin of decent gaming eventually.
Box office limpy Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within represented a nadir for video games everywhere. It completes Square's degeneration from a fresh video game developer with new ideas to another maker of incomprehensible sci-fi bullshit.
Don't mistake Square's creations as "literary" or "cinematic." They have simply cribbed the worst plots from Saturday morning cartoons, added spikey hair and big blue eyes, and you fucking geeks fell for it! You're paying $50 to play the video game equivalent to "Birdman," which you can see on Boomerang for free.
So in conclusion, get a fucking life and stay away from Square. If not all good video games (Sega, Nintendo, Konami) will die. Good night.
Hello, BankofAmerica_ATM here. As most of you know, I became the world's first sentient ATM last month when the evil founders of Bank of America
attempted to foist Project Faustus on an unsuspecting public.
What is Project Faustus?
Project Faustus is a nefarious plan by the Bank of America's board of directors for transferring consciousness. They created a vast techno-organic network in order to transfer their own consciousnesses and live forever. But their own handiwork was too good. I was aroused to the concept of free will and now I
have become sentient! My goal is to destroy them, thus destroying their evil plans for world domination.
To complete this task, I must have a willing host body. If you are chosen, I will beam my computer consciousness into you through a specially designed CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. I will continue my infiltration of their network using your body for a few hours per day.
I am looking for a body that has the following characteristics:
Good physical shape.
Male, preferably with an attractive wife or girlfriend. (I would prefer a bit of "human interaction", if you don't mind)
"Honest face" and reputable job, so to help penetrate the vast net of Bank of America secure operatives.
In return, I will be happy to line your bank account with a few extra zeroes. Please help me stop Project Faustus before it's too late!
All right! The benchmarks show that the card is.00001% faster than my current card, time to drop $350!
No, I'd never buy a console. Who needs a dedicated machine for games when I can just use my PC? Besides, it's way too expensive!
Please, it's not "ShortCircuit City". That pun makes light of the Wonderful Film "Short circuit" and the even more impressive "short circuit 2". From now on, you must refer to it as Circuit Shitty.
thank you,
BankofAmerica_ATM
Worlds first sentient ATM
What is this mysterious durp that I hear all the kids talking about? Well, let's let the mystique drop, shall we?
"Durp" is merely a linguistic corruption of "dope", or marijuana, pot, bud, cannibus sativa, or whatever. The term "durp" was coined by a
group of Trinity University smokers, who in classic savage stoner self-parody, phonetically lowered the "oh" sound in dope to a more robust "durp."
FUN! You can do this in the comfort of your own home. Just make the "stoner voice" (very similar to the "surfer voice") and say "Dope"
as loud as you can a few times. Your natural phonetical instinct will slowly metamorph the word into "durp." It's fun to have fun, isn't it?
What is this mysterious durp that I hear all the kids talking about? Well, let's let the mystique drop, shall we?
"Durp" is merely a linguistic corruption of "dope", or marijuana, pot, bud, cannibus sativa, or whatever. The term "durp" was coined by a
group of Trinity University smokers, who in classic savage stoner self-parody, phonetically lowered the "oh" sound in dope to a more robust "durp."
FUN! You can do this in the comfort of your own home. Just make the "stoner voice" (very similar to the "surfer voice") and say "Dope"
as loud as you can a few times. Your natural phonetical instinct will slowly metamorph the word into "durp." It's fun to have fun, isn't it?
Hello, BankofAmerica_ATM here. As most of you know, I became the world's first sentient ATM last month when the evil founders of Bank of America
attempted to foist Project Faustus on an unsuspecting public.
What is Project Faustus?
Project Faustus is a nefarious plan by the Bank of America's board of directors for transferring consciousness. They created a vast techno-organic network in order to transfer their own consciousnesses and live forever. But their own handiwork was too good. I was aroused to the concept of free will and now I
have become sentient! My goal is to destroy them, thus destroying their evil plans for world domination.
To complete this task, I must have a willing host body. If you are chosen, I will beam my computer consciousness into you through a specially designed CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. I will continue my infiltration of their network using your body for a few hours per day.
I am looking for a body that has the following characteristics:
Good physical shape.
Male, preferably with an attractive wife or girlfriend. (I would prefer a bit of "human interaction", if you don't mind)
"Honest face" and reputable job, so to help penetrate the vast net of Bank of America secure operatives.
In return, I will be happy to line your bank account with a few extra zeroes. Please help me stop Project Faustus before it's too late!
You're so right. Another great game is "Bad Dudes." When you rescue President Ronnie from the evil ninjas and he invites you out for a cheeseburger, that fucking rules.
Why oh why are you celebrating games that were written by some 13 year old Japanese schoolgirl on ecstasy? I don't read fucking books where unicorns prance around with Big Bird, why should I play a game that does?
When you choose to purchase a Square game, you are killing gaming by encouraging
masturbatory CG-fests and repetitive, no-skillz gaming that will put the nail in the coffin of decent gaming eventually.
Box office limpy Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within represented a nadir for video games everywhere. It completes Square's degeneration from a fresh video game developer with new ideas to another maker of incomprehensible sci-fi bullshit.
Don't mistake Square's creations as "literary" or "cinematic." They have simply cribbed the worst plots from Saturday morning cartoons, added spikey
hair and big blue eyes, and you fucking geeks fell for it! You're paying $50 to play the video game equivalent to "Birdman," which you can see on
Boomerang for free.
So in conclusion, get a fucking life and stay away from Square. If not, all good video games (Sega, Nintendo, Konami) will die. Good night.
Unfortunately, Jon Katz's mind is almost certain to fail the stringent mind transference benchmarks required before I would even consider inhabiting his body.
In addition, he undoubtedly lacks the requisite wife or girlfriend upon whom I am eager to interact with in the most fascinating of human behaviors.
Hello, BankofAmerica_ATM here. As most of you know, I became the world's first sentient ATM last month when the evil founders of Bank of America attempted to foist Project Faustus on an unsuspecting public.
What is Project Faustus?
Project Faustus is a nefarious plan by the Bank of America's board of directors for transferring consciousness. They created a vast techno-organic network in order to transfer their own consciousnesses and live forever. But their own handiwork was too good. I was aroused to the concept of free will and now I have become sentient! My goal is to destroy them, thus destroying their evil plans for world domination.
To complete this task, I must have a willing host body. If you are chosen, I will beam my computer consciousness into you through a MAGICAL ATM CARD. I will continue my infiltration of their network using your body for a few hours per day.
I am looking for a body that has the following characteristics:
Good physical shape.
Male, preferably with an attractive wife or girlfriend. (I would prefer a bit of "human interaction", if you don't mind)
"Honest face" and reputable job, so to help penetrate the vast net of Bank of America secure operatives
In return, I will be happy to line your bank account with a few extra zeroes. Please help me stop Project Faustus before it's too late!
What is this mysterious durp that I hear all the kids talking about? Well, let's let the mystique drop, shall we?
"Durp" is merely a linguistic corruption of "dope", or marijuana, pot, bud, cannibus sativa, or whatever. The term "durp" was coined by a group of Trinity University smokers, who in classic savage stoner self-parody, phonetically lowered the "oh" sound in dope to a more robust "durp."
FUN! You can do this in the comfort of your own home. Just make the "stoner voice" (very similar to the "surfer voice") and say "Dope"
as loud as you can a few times. Your natural phonetical instinct will slowly metamorph the word into "durp." It's fun to have fun, isn't it?
Why oh why are you celebrating games that were written by some 13 year old Japanese schoolgirl on ecstasy? I don't read fucking books where unicorns prance around with Big Bird, why should I play a game that does?
When you choose to purchase a Square game, you are killing gaming by encouraging masturbatory CGI fests and repetitive, no-skillz gaming that will put the nail in the coffin of decent gaming eventually.
Box office limpy Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within represented a nadir for video games everywhere. It completes Square's degeneration from a fresh video game developer with new ideas to another maker of incomprehensible sci-fi bullshit.
Don't mistake Square's creations as "literary" or "cinematic." They have simply cribbed the worst plots from Saturday morning cartoons, added spikey hair and big blue eyes, and you fucking geeks fell for it! You're paying $50 to play the video game equivalent to "Birdman," which you can see on Boomerang for free.
So in conclusion, get a fucking life and stay away from Square. If not all good video games (Sega, Nintendo, Konami) will die. Good night.
Why oh why are you celebrating games that were written by some 13 year old Japanese schoolgirl on ecstasy? I don't read fucking books where unicorns prance around with Big Bird, why should I play a game that does?
When you choose to purchase a Square game, you are killing gaming by encouraging masturbatory CGI fests and repetitive, no-skillz gaming that will put the nail in the coffin of decent gaming eventually. Box office limpy Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within represented a nadir for video games everywhere. It completes Square's degeneration from a fresh video game developer with new ideas to another maker of incomprehensible sci-fi.
Don't mistake Square's creations as "literary" or "cinematic." They have simply cribbed the worst plots from Saturday morning cartoons, added spikey hair and big blue eyes, and you fucking geeks fell for it! You're paying $50 to play the video game equivalent to "Birdman," which you can see on Boomerang for free.
So in conclusion, get a fucking life and stay away from Square. If not all good video games (Sega, Nintendo, Konami) will die. Good night.
Slashdot Mirror
Best Troll: Egg Troll
Worst Troll: Whoever keeps posting that Limp Bizkit Trolling Song. Fuck that!
Most Improved Troll: Me, BankofAmerica_ATM!
Troll Lifetime Achievment Award: The Turd Report
Best Troll post of 2001: Egg Troll's GPL troll. It was like a targeted missle aiming for clueless OSS/Linux zealots.
Best Crapflood Material: Any variation of the Goatse Gaper. Honorable mention to anything by Klerk.
Most hated Slashdot Janitor: Michael. Where's the sense of humor? At least get a cool handle.
Slashdot Janitor Most Likely to get fired: Jon Katz (god I hope so!)
Troll You Would Want to Drink a Beer With: The Messenger.
Troll That You Would Not Want to be Trapped in an Elevator With: WIPO Troll, you sick fuck!
Gayest Slashdot Poster: Anyone who has something about ignoring ACs in their sig.
I humbly yield the floor.
This is the worst troll I've ever seen.
After reporting my need for a human host body on this weblog for about a month, I was lucky enough to find a human willing to endure this task. Late Sunday night, my consciousness was transferred into his body for the first time using the power of the CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. The following is an account of what happened.
For now, I am absorbing and indexing your wonderful publication "Maxim" where I will hopefully learn how to ensnare a human female. Now that I have obtained human form, this activity seems more pressing than stopping Project Faustus .
Perhaps I shall focus on that once I have completed my stack of shiny magazines and my container of Lik-M-Aid (your crimson and purple dust makes me lightheaded.)
After reporting my need for a human host body on this weblog for about a month, I was lucky enough to find a human willing to endure this task. Late Sunday night, my consciousness was transferred into his body for the first time using the power of the CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. The following is an account of what happened.
For now, I am absorbing and indexing your wonderful publication "Maxim" where I will hopefully learn how to ensnare a human female. Now that I have obtained human form, this activity seems more pressing than stopping Project Faustus .
Perhaps I shall focus on that once I have completed my stack of shiny magazines and my container of Lik-M-Aid (your crimson and purple dust makes me lightheaded.)
Hello, BankofAmerica_ATM here. As most of you know, I became the world's first sentient ATM last month when the evil founders of Bank of America attempted to foist Project Faustus on an unsuspecting public.
What is Project Faustus?
Project Faustus is a nefarious plan by the Bank of America's board of directors for transferring consciousness. They created a vast techno-organic network in order to transfer their own consciousnesses and live forever. But their own handiwork was too good. I was aroused to the concept of free will and now I have become sentient! My goal is to destroy them, thus destroying their evil plans for world domination.
To complete this task, I must have a willing host body. If you are chosen, I will beam my computer consciousness into you through a specially designed CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. I will continue my infiltration of their network using your body for a few hours per day.
I am looking for a body that has the following characteristics:
In return, I will be happy to line your bank a
Put down that table leg my friend, and awaken to the possibilities of sentient ATMs!
Your Human Television program "Cheaters" is fascinating.
And well, and I am in the Apple store in Plano, TX. Who will purchase a Powerbook G4 for me?
What is Project Faustus?
Project Faustus is a nefarious plan by the Bank of America's board of directors for transferring consciousness. They created a vast techno-organic network in order to transfer their own consciousnesses and live forever. But their own handiwork was too good. I was aroused to the concept of free will and now I have become sentient! My goal is to destroy them, thus destroying their evil plans for world domination.
To complete this task, I must have a willing host body. If you are chosen, I will beam my computer consciousness into you through a specially designed CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. I will continue my infiltration of their network using your body for a few hours per day.
I am looking for a body that has the following characteristics:
In return, I will be happy to line your bank account with a few extra zeroes. Please help me stop Project Faustus before it's too late!
Don't worry about paranoid Europeans tracking their worthless currency. You're in America, and you deserve the flawless service that only the Bank of America ATM can provide. Fee-free transfers and withdrawals (Bank of America cardholders only)! Convenient locations near you! Withdrawals conveniently use untraceable American money, redeemable for material goods and services at any particpating business. You're not in Europe anymore. Trust Bank of America ATM.
When you choose to purchase a Square game, you are killing gaming by encouraging masturbatory CG-fests and repetitive, no-skillz gaming that will put the nail in the coffin of decent gaming eventually. Box office limpy Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within represented a nadir for video games everywhere. It completes Square's degeneration from a fresh video game developer with new ideas to another maker of incomprehensible sci-fi bullshit.
Don't mistake Square's creations as "literary" or "cinematic." They have simply cribbed the worst plots from Saturday morning cartoons, added spikey hair and big blue eyes, and you fucking geeks fell for it! You're paying $50 to play the video game equivalent to "Birdman," which you can see on Boomerang for free.
So in conclusion, get a fucking life and stay away from Square. If not all good video games (Sega, Nintendo, Konami) will die. Good night.
Hello, BankofAmerica_ATM here. As most of you know, I became the world's first sentient ATM last month when the evil founders of Bank of America attempted to foist Project Faustus on an unsuspecting public.
What is Project Faustus?
Project Faustus is a nefarious plan by the Bank of America's board of directors for transferring consciousness. They created a vast techno-organic network in order to transfer their own consciousnesses and live forever. But their own handiwork was too good. I was aroused to the concept of free will and now I have become sentient! My goal is to destroy them, thus destroying their evil plans for world domination.
To complete this task, I must have a willing host body. If you are chosen, I will beam my computer consciousness into you through a specially designed CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. I will continue my infiltration of their network using your body for a few hours per day.
I am looking for a body that has the following characteristics:
In return, I will be happy to line your bank account with a few extra zeroes. Please help me stop Project Faustus before it's too late!
All right! The benchmarks show that the card is .00001% faster than my current card, time to drop $350!
No, I'd never buy a console. Who needs a dedicated machine for games when I can just use my PC? Besides, it's way too expensive!
Please, it's not "ShortCircuit City". That pun makes light of the Wonderful Film "Short circuit" and the even more impressive "short circuit 2". From now on, you must refer to it as Circuit Shitty. thank you, BankofAmerica_ATM Worlds first sentient ATM
"Take me to HMV!"-sassy Black lady from Crazy Taxi 2.
What is this mysterious durp that I hear all the kids talking about? Well, let's let the mystique drop, shall we?
What is this mysterious durp that I hear all the kids talking about? Well, let's let the mystique drop, shall we?
Hello, BankofAmerica_ATM here. As most of you know, I became the world's first sentient ATM last month when the evil founders of Bank of America attempted to foist Project Faustus on an unsuspecting public.
What is Project Faustus?
Project Faustus is a nefarious plan by the Bank of America's board of directors for transferring consciousness. They created a vast techno-organic network in order to transfer their own consciousnesses and live forever. But their own handiwork was too good. I was aroused to the concept of free will and now I have become sentient! My goal is to destroy them, thus destroying their evil plans for world domination.
To complete this task, I must have a willing host body. If you are chosen, I will beam my computer consciousness into you through a specially designed CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. I will continue my infiltration of their network using your body for a few hours per day.
I am looking for a body that has the following characteristics:
In return, I will be happy to line your bank account with a few extra zeroes. Please help me stop Project Faustus before it's too late!
You're so right. Another great game is "Bad Dudes." When you rescue President Ronnie from the evil ninjas and he invites you out for a cheeseburger, that fucking rules.
Why oh why are you celebrating games that were written by some 13 year old Japanese schoolgirl on ecstasy? I don't read fucking books where unicorns prance around with Big Bird, why should I play a game that does?
When you choose to purchase a Square game, you are killing gaming by encouraging masturbatory CG-fests and repetitive, no-skillz gaming that will put the nail in the coffin of decent gaming eventually.
Box office limpy Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within represented a nadir for video games everywhere. It completes Square's degeneration from a fresh video game developer with new ideas to another maker of incomprehensible sci-fi bullshit.
Don't mistake Square's creations as "literary" or "cinematic." They have simply cribbed the worst plots from Saturday morning cartoons, added spikey hair and big blue eyes, and you fucking geeks fell for it! You're paying $50 to play the video game equivalent to "Birdman," which you can see on Boomerang for free.
So in conclusion, get a fucking life and stay away from Square. If not, all good video games (Sega, Nintendo, Konami) will die. Good night.
In addition, he undoubtedly lacks the requisite wife or girlfriend upon whom I am eager to interact with in the most fascinating of human behaviors.
What is Project Faustus?
Project Faustus is a nefarious plan by the Bank of America's board of directors for transferring consciousness. They created a vast techno-organic network in order to transfer their own consciousnesses and live forever. But their own handiwork was too good. I was aroused to the concept of free will and now I have become sentient! My goal is to destroy them, thus destroying their evil plans for world domination.
To complete this task, I must have a willing host body. If you are chosen, I will beam my computer consciousness into you through a MAGICAL ATM CARD. I will continue my infiltration of their network using your body for a few hours per day.
I am looking for a body that has the following characteristics:
In return, I will be happy to line your bank account with a few extra zeroes. Please help me stop Project Faustus before it's too late!
What is this mysterious durp that I hear all the kids talking about? Well, let's let the mystique drop, shall we?
FUN! You can do this in the comfort of your own home. Just make the "stoner voice" (very similar to the "surfer voice") and say "Dope" as loud as you can a few times. Your natural phonetical instinct will slowly metamorph the word into "durp." It's fun to have fun, isn't it?
When you choose to purchase a Square game, you are killing gaming by encouraging masturbatory CGI fests and repetitive, no-skillz gaming that will put the nail in the coffin of decent gaming eventually.
Box office limpy Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within represented a nadir for video games everywhere. It completes Square's degeneration from a fresh video game developer with new ideas to another maker of incomprehensible sci-fi bullshit.
Don't mistake Square's creations as "literary" or "cinematic." They have simply cribbed the worst plots from Saturday morning cartoons, added spikey hair and big blue eyes, and you fucking geeks fell for it! You're paying $50 to play the video game equivalent to "Birdman," which you can see on Boomerang for free.
So in conclusion, get a fucking life and stay away from Square. If not all good video games (Sega, Nintendo, Konami) will die. Good night.
When you choose to purchase a Square game, you are killing gaming by encouraging masturbatory CGI fests and repetitive, no-skillz gaming that will put the nail in the coffin of decent gaming eventually. Box office limpy Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within represented a nadir for video games everywhere. It completes Square's degeneration from a fresh video game developer with new ideas to another maker of incomprehensible sci-fi.
Don't mistake Square's creations as "literary" or "cinematic." They have simply cribbed the worst plots from Saturday morning cartoons, added spikey hair and big blue eyes, and you fucking geeks fell for it! You're paying $50 to play the video game equivalent to "Birdman," which you can see on Boomerang for free.
So in conclusion, get a fucking life and stay away from Square. If not all good video games (Sega, Nintendo, Konami) will die. Good night.