Ages ago I worked in a 2 story datacenter, where the first floor was full of equipment and all of us operators really avoided going down there most times.
So one night facilties had a crew pouring pink epoxy into cracks in the second floor concrete slab to "seal" them and prevent dust from being generated.
So this one crack is taking an awefully large amount of epoxy to seal. Perhaps that could be construed as a sign of trouble? Nah. Instead the security guard, who had just made his rounds through the first floor machine room, was a much better sign of trouble when he ran in yelling for them to stop immediately!
So we all went downstairs to find pink epoxy-sickles (epoxy-tites?) hanging from a sagging ceiling tile, and dripping into...
...a still working Liebert power distribution unit which was feeding a mainframe with 440 volt goodness. Almost as impressive as the epoxy-sickles was the 5 foot diameter puddle of epoxy on the floor under the PDU, and the equally sized puddle on the concrete slab under the raised floor under the pdu.
The only thing more impressive than the sight of a PDU with pink epoxy oozeing over live circuit breakers and such was the unbelievable shade of red the facilities manager turned when he was screaming at the crew about their newly unemployed status.
...as it's the only way we're going to prevent <insert-favorite-post-apocalytpic-successor-to-hum ans-here> from taking over our technology when we fall from the top of the evolutionary chain.
Roach "Give us the nuclear launch keys human, or you will feed my 100000 offspring!"
General "Their locked in my, um, Jackito, um. Lets see you thumbless cockaroach bastards operate this TDA!"
Roach "Damnit, we've be thwarted by our lack of opposable thumbs! How are you American Generals so smart?
General "American? I'm not American, I'm French you silly so-called Cockaroach King.
Much prancing about and head tapping behaviour ensues.
Unless of course the roaches build a large wooden Badger outside of the Pentagon.
...ensure that all of the female Romulans have large artificial lactation glands and tight fitting crop-top uniforms. Then all of the overly macho StarFleet captians will never see anything BUT the female Romulan boobies.
And don't forget to equip the Romulan females with the requisite anti-grav bras so that they can actually stand upright (um...erect?!).
Perhaps we should look at the other side of this equation. Namely, "What makes each new OS release appear slower".
I for one cannot honestly say that I think WinXP is any faster than Win2K, nor was Win2K any faster than Win98, and so on.
Now naturally I relize that individual components become faster. But the overall feel seems to slow down each release. The same thing applies to Linux, in the form of each new release of taking longer to login and initialize.
...they can have it analyze all of the Mars orbital images, and then choose landing spots for future probes that are optimally distant from any "facial anomolies". That way they can avoid having to investigate them, and keep the tin-foil-hat crowd stocked with fresh conspiracy fodder.
What do they hope to learn...
on
Listen to the Sky
·
· Score: 2, Funny
...The Killing Gameshow, a great game w/awesome soundtrack. ...Shadow of the Beast, merely a fun game, but the soundtrack was quite erie and cool. One of the few games where I think the soundtrack would make a good standalone audio CD.
P.S.: I'm talking about these games on the Amiga. I cannot address, nor condone, any PC ports that might have taken place.
How about quantifying the amount of software that's purchased but never implemented?
I think that many of us have seen numerous times when software was purchased because the department/project had a "use it or lose it" budget mechanism. I.E. if you don't spend 100% of your budget, then you're budget shrinks next year.
The best part is when they renew the licenses next year. D'uh!
OK, I cannot resist. If anyone has some flash/applet skillz, I'd love to see a game where the picture of the cubicle farm at the top of the "5 reasons" link becomes the backdrop for a game of whack-a-mole.
Imagine the fun when Darl's head pops up, and you're madly trying to whack it. For added challenge, when you get into the higher levels various opensource people would popup. Obviously hitting their image would take away big points.
...in the de-evolution of intelligent life in the corporate world.
Make someone use PowerPoint. Well suited candidates can progress rapidly to step 2.
As technical skills diminish, the use of MS Access becomes a "logical" choice.
At this point, the candidate will be unable to process information without the use of Excel spreadsheets and charts. Adequate time must be allowed at this stage for memories of past "clues" and competance to fade.
When the candidate begins publishing Word documents on internal websites they're ready for the final step.
For subjects who are marginally competent at using MS Office, Managerial positions are the logical choice. Schedule the subject's lobotomy and prepare an office for them.
...or...
For subjects who are incapable of using the full MS Office Suite, but excell in verbal communications and have a nice unctuous personal image...schedule the "soul-ectomy", give them a fancy Palm Pilot, and introduce them to their new coworkers in the Sales department.
Actually they touched on this right before Adama killed the cylon with his flashlight and started folding the origami bird.
Basically it sounds like they didn't treat the Cylons as sentient beings, just machines. I.E. "we didn't include a soul in your programming". Much the same concept seen in the Animatrix, and countless other places.
...Since they never wear helmets (at least here in Texas where there's no helmet law), then this is useless to them. They'll have to wait until this is shrunk into a pair of cool name brand sun glasses. Or perhaps made of flexible circuits and builtinto a n American flag patterned bandana.
Let's see, he runs the Windows Digital Media division, and his name is Dave Fester. Fester. Hmmm. Sounds like he should get promoted immediately to being in charge of all of their software business.
...today SCO announced the release of a new lighter version of Linux, that is unencumbered by the GPL, and the feature bloat that is rampant in the Linux software stack. And thanks to SCO's innovative IBCS technology you'll be able to run your fav Linux apps unaltered on SCO's new OS.
A SCO representative stated that they'd be marketing this product under the name "UNIXWare".
...the point isn't to stare at the "video" on some hottie's clothes. The point is to hack the zipper/clasps/belts/buttons HOLD the clothes on the hottie. Duh!
...From the same psych experts who brought you Clippy, it's the new "Microsoft Hmuan Lgnuagae Kyeborad" No longer do you need to have l33t typing sk1llz to type like a pro! The new Microsoft Hmuan lgnuagae Kyeborad can automatically analyze the phenomes you're typing and correct your spelling errors while you type! Act now through this special TV offer, and you'll also get "Clippy Pro 2003", your favorite animated helper with over 2GB of new animations!
Yeah Java sucks, but my l33t programming skillz let me code scripts in php/perl/python/basic++/z80 assembler much faster!
Compiling is foolish, interpreters are much better. Let compiling happen at startup time, I just distribute the source code to my applications.
And variable typing == evil. Only weak minded foolz typecast their variables. I like all of the pretty failure messages my app displays!
Sigh. Is it possible that people can write CRAP code in any language? Should some people just be kept away from source code period?
There are a great many people who think that because they can understand a PHP hello world example, they are programmers. You know the type. They're closely related to those who think that because they can install Windoze and establish a network connection they are immediately "systems administrators". There are also a great number of people who rate the quality of their project based upon how many acronyms it involved. "How could it be bad code! I mean I used JAAS, and EJB, and JSP, and JMS, and J2EE, and JCA, and OJB!"
Java is NOT perfect, and I'm not defending Sun. But it stands as what it is: an attempt at a post C++ OO language, with cross platform as a fundamental requirement.
Battlefield Earth.
I've already said more that I can stomach about this topic.
Ages ago I worked in a 2 story datacenter, where the first floor was full of equipment and all of us operators really avoided going down there most times.
So one night facilties had a crew pouring pink epoxy into cracks in the second floor concrete slab to "seal" them and prevent dust from being generated.
So this one crack is taking an awefully large amount of epoxy to seal. Perhaps that could be construed as a sign of trouble? Nah. Instead the security guard, who had just made his rounds through the first floor machine room, was a much better sign of trouble when he ran in yelling for them to stop immediately!
So we all went downstairs to find pink epoxy-sickles (epoxy-tites?) hanging from a sagging ceiling tile, and dripping into...
...a still working Liebert power distribution unit which was feeding a mainframe with 440 volt goodness. Almost as impressive as the epoxy-sickles was the 5 foot diameter puddle of epoxy on the floor under the PDU, and the equally sized puddle on the concrete slab under the raised floor under the pdu.
The only thing more impressive than the sight of a PDU with pink epoxy oozeing over live circuit breakers and such was the unbelievable shade of red the facilities manager turned when he was screaming at the crew about their newly unemployed status.
...as it's the only way we're going to prevent <insert-favorite-post-apocalytpic-successor-to-hum ans-here> from taking over our technology when we fall from the top of the evolutionary chain.
Roach "Give us the nuclear launch keys human, or you will feed my 100000 offspring!"
General "Their locked in my, um, Jackito, um. Lets see you thumbless cockaroach bastards operate this TDA!"
Roach "Damnit, we've be thwarted by our lack of opposable thumbs! How are you American Generals so smart?
General "American? I'm not American, I'm French you silly so-called Cockaroach King.
Much prancing about and head tapping behaviour ensues.
Unless of course the roaches build a large wooden Badger outside of the Pentagon.
...ensure that all of the female Romulans have large artificial lactation glands and tight fitting crop-top uniforms. Then all of the overly macho StarFleet captians will never see anything BUT the female Romulan boobies.
And don't forget to equip the Romulan females with the requisite anti-grav bras so that they can actually stand upright (um...erect?!).
Perhaps we should look at the other side of this equation. Namely, "What makes each new OS release appear slower".
I for one cannot honestly say that I think WinXP is any faster than Win2K, nor was Win2K any faster than Win98, and so on.Now naturally I relize that individual components become faster. But the overall feel seems to slow down each release. The same thing applies to Linux, in the form of each new release of taking longer to login and initialize.
...they can have it analyze all of the Mars orbital images, and then choose landing spots for future probes that are optimally distant from any "facial anomolies". That way they can avoid having to investigate them, and keep the tin-foil-hat crowd stocked with fresh conspiracy fodder.
...everyone knows that the wind cries Mary...
...The Killing Gameshow, a great game w/awesome soundtrack.
...Shadow of the Beast, merely a fun game, but the soundtrack was quite erie and cool. One of the few games where I think the soundtrack would make a good standalone audio CD.
P.S.: I'm talking about these games on the Amiga. I cannot address, nor condone, any PC ports that might have taken place.
How about quantifying the amount of software that's purchased but never implemented?
I think that many of us have seen numerous times when software was purchased because the department/project had a "use it or lose it" budget mechanism. I.E. if you don't spend 100% of your budget, then you're budget shrinks next year.
The best part is when they renew the licenses next year. D'uh!
Ummm, aren't ROTFL, LOL, WTF?, and :-O readily understandable regardless of your native language?
If I type the following right now:
find / -name win.ini -print
I get back:
(root) bacchus#
So it seems kinda symmetrical to me.
Hmmmm, any care to wager that whatever Dynix / AIX code SCO gains access to will be "stolen" and wind up on the internet along side the WinNT/2K code?
OK, I cannot resist. If anyone has some flash/applet skillz, I'd love to see a game where the picture of the cubicle farm at the top of the "5 reasons" link becomes the backdrop for a game of whack-a-mole.
Imagine the fun when Darl's head pops up, and you're madly trying to whack it. For added challenge, when you get into the higher levels various opensource people would popup. Obviously hitting their image would take away big points.
So if you run Windows on it, are you immediatly a slave to Bill Gates? Ewwwwww...
Ok, so if aerogel has the lowest density of any solid, what has the highest density?
Right now I'm thinking that it's either corporate America's CxO's, or perhaps whoever keeps watching all of these dumbass reality shows on tv.
...in the de-evolution of intelligent life in the corporate world.
When the candidate begins publishing Word documents on internal websites they're ready for the final step.
...or...
Actually they touched on this right before Adama killed the cylon with his flashlight and started folding the origami bird.
Basically it sounds like they didn't treat the Cylons as sentient beings, just machines. I.E. "we didn't include a soul in your programming". Much the same concept seen in the Animatrix, and countless other places.
...Since they never wear helmets (at least here in Texas where there's no helmet law), then this is useless to them. They'll have to wait until this is shrunk into a pair of cool name brand sun glasses. Or perhaps made of flexible circuits and builtinto a n American flag patterned bandana.
...is their site really /.'ed, or is it simply hosted on a Yopy?
Let's see, he runs the Windows Digital Media division, and his name is Dave Fester. Fester. Hmmm. Sounds like he should get promoted immediately to being in charge of all of their software business.
...today SCO announced the release of a new lighter version of Linux, that is unencumbered by the GPL, and the feature bloat that is rampant in the Linux software stack. And thanks to SCO's innovative IBCS technology you'll be able to run your fav Linux apps unaltered on SCO's new OS.
A SCO representative stated that they'd be marketing this product under the name "UNIXWare".
I'll make sure that I wrap the copy of "The Catcher in the Rye" in tin foil before leaving the library!
...the point isn't to stare at the "video" on some hottie's clothes. The point is to hack the zipper/clasps/belts/buttons HOLD the clothes on the hottie. Duh!
...From the same psych experts who brought you Clippy, it's the new "Microsoft Hmuan Lgnuagae Kyeborad" No longer do you need to have l33t typing sk1llz to type like a pro! The new Microsoft Hmuan lgnuagae Kyeborad can automatically analyze the phenomes you're typing and correct your spelling errors while you type! Act now through this special TV offer, and you'll also get "Clippy Pro 2003", your favorite animated helper with over 2GB of new animations!
Yeah Java sucks, but my l33t programming skillz let me code scripts in php/perl/python/basic++/z80 assembler much faster!
Compiling is foolish, interpreters are much better. Let compiling happen at startup time, I just distribute the source code to my applications.
And variable typing == evil. Only weak minded foolz typecast their variables. I like all of the pretty failure messages my app displays!
Sigh. Is it possible that people can write CRAP code in any language? Should some people just be kept away from source code period?
There are a great many people who think that because they can understand a PHP hello world example, they are programmers. You know the type. They're closely related to those who think that because they can install Windoze and establish a network connection they are immediately "systems administrators". There are also a great number of people who rate the quality of their project based upon how many acronyms it involved. "How could it be bad code! I mean I used JAAS, and EJB, and JSP, and JMS, and J2EE, and JCA, and OJB!"
Java is NOT perfect, and I'm not defending Sun. But it stands as what it is: an attempt at a post C++ OO language, with cross platform as a fundamental requirement.