Thankyou fellow slashdotters for providing me with this opportunity to rabbit on about something of which i have no idea about.
It has come to my attention that the person posting under the name of 'Michael Sims' (who's user account is simply 'michael') is in fact, Osama Bin Laden. Now before you say anything, and start ranting "Trollburger, you forgot to take your medication", or "Trollburger, you smoke too much crack" (which raises the question of 'how much crack can one smoke before it is too much'? but thats the topic of another thread somewhere in a distant galaxy.) Please allow me a minute to explain my perfect logic here.
Firstly, we can draw parallels with the two "different people"'s names. If you remove any occurrence of the letters "o" "s" "a" "b" "n" "d" from Osama Bin Laden's full name (except for the third 'a') and replace 'L' with 'ch', you get "Michael".
Secondly, as you may or may not know, the person pretending to be "Michael Sims" works at a 7-11 shop, in downtown new york. I have seen him working there several times. You can find the particular shop, as it is quite noticable because of the large posters kept in the front window which read "1SL4M R0X0R UR B0XoR" and "W1ND0S 1S F0R F4GGETS". Now, Ive also managed to track down a picture of him working there, for the undeniable proof that "Michael Sims" is in fact, Osama Bin Laden.
Now, you will notice that Osama Bin Laden hates capitalism, this was part of the whole september 11 thing. Well, its easy to realise that "Michael Sims" is Osamba Bin Laden too, because he hates capitalism also. Duh.
George Bush says we're fighting a war on terror. And he's right. We're fighting a war against terrorists. We're fighting a war against l4m3rs who use linux. We're fighting a war against guns and stuff. We're fighting a war against taco snotting and the proponents of this filthy habbit.
What started out as me posting an article i found on an Anti Michael Sims website, has turned out into a revelation. They (Osamba In Laden and Michael Sims) are the same person.
You're right Fucky, it just so happens that VA Software, or systems, or hardware, or servers, or whatever the fuck they call themselves this week aren't actually making any money off this pile of perl scripts and money feces known as slashdot. As such, they find it necessary to whore their assholes (and any other oriface they can), so that they get money to put dinner on the table.
No one really gives a fuck about a new distro, the fact is that slashdot editors are payed to hype new linux stuff that no one other than a bunch of nerds would care about, while selectively ignoring other things which might be of similar or greater interest (or reliablity/security) ( - like BSD for example).
Bennett Haselton on Michael Sims' hijacking of censorware.org
[These are comments by Bennett Haselton (Peacefire ) regarding the lack of consequences for Michael Sims' hijacking of censorware.org, and how it's not a case of truth-is-in-the-middle. Used with permission.]
[This was written to someone who made a plea to resolve the conflict, but also refers to trivializing and dismissive comments made in a public interview by Michael Sims' supervisor at Slashdot ]
Subject: Re: Please resolve the censorware conflict.
Any discussion of the Censorware.org controversy has to start from the fact that Michael and the rest of the former CWP are not "equal sides" in this, are not "both right and both wrong", etc.
Michael did not own the Censorware Project and did not do a majority of the work involved, he just hi-jacked the domain name and stole it from the rest of us. The fact that people look at what he did, and look at the response from the rest of the group, and call it "infighting" or "airing dirty laundry" is frankly an insult to the Censorware Project and its work. If the EFF webmaster put the eff.org domain in his own name and then hi-jacked it from the organization, he'd be branded a traitor and a pariah in the Internet community for the rest of his life, and nobody would ever forget what he did. Same if it was the CPSR.org webmaster, the EPIC.org webmaster, or whoever. But if the Censorware Project webmaster does it, we're expected to "work out our differences" with him?
There is an absolute difference between Michael and the rest of us. None of us, despite some personal animosities (not between me and anybody, but between people that I know), would ever, ever do anything like what Michael did. But Michael did it.
It doesn't matter whether or not Michael promotes anti-censorship work in his position as a Slashdot writer; he's hardly making much a difference by saying things that were going to get said anyway, and nothing he does there will ever come close to canceling out the harm he did by shutting down the one-time Censorware Project website.
The only legitimacy that Michael has is through his position as a Slashdot writer; he has just enough writing skills to make his writings sound seductively intelligent to anybody who doesn't know the real story. The fact that Slashdot hired Michael should be deeply embarrassing to them, and is in fact eroding Slashdot's credibility according to comments made by some people who found out about the Censorware.org site. But Slashdot is apparently too deeply wedded that decision to reconsider, and comments from [Michael Sims' direct supervisor] have been more of the same along the lines of "They should work out their differences" instead of acknowledging Michael Sims's utterly disgraceful behavior as compared to the average person. You think Slashdot really believes Michael is trustworthy, after what he did? Do you think they're going to let him put the Slashdot.org domain in his name?:)
They smell them i think. ive never experiemented with using the dirty panties, this was a troll. geez you people take stuff so seriously around here, lighten up guy.
Thats very funny, but a good point. I see no reason why a suitably equipt nation-state (or potentially; a rogue group with the appropriate technology and connections (ie haxored satelite data)) could not put the same principles to a deadly use.
Did you know if you ROT-13 this post, and then, starting from the second character from the end, take every fifth character (not including punctuation or the numbering from the bullet points) going in reverse direction, you get "httpwwwgoatsecx"? Seriously. I can't believe i discovered it.
Thats a nice crap flood, be careful to wipe your hands afterwards.
You want to hear a funny story about crapflooding? The other day at Uni i was sitting at one of the computers, and i could see a guy in the next row of computers making a crapflood for slashdot. Except he wasn't using a random generator (which presumably you are), he was typing similar things above totally by hand.
After i realised this, i quickly threw all my books etc into my backpack (so i could make a speedy exit), logged off and walked up to his computer. I said "hey", he turned and looked up at me. I yelled point blank into his face "YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT" as loud as i could, mashed his keyboard, turned his monitor off and walked calmly away before he could do anything. I hoped it made his day a bit more surreal, and perhaps taught him a lesson (use some sort of script when crapflooding, lest crazy Unix geeks run up and yell things in your face)
One of the librarians looked at me oddly as I walked off, but i ignored her. So just keep that in mind.
Dirty Panties!! (oh they're dirty)
(these are possibly the librarians panties i am talking about too)
And I want karma values for the bozos editing this stuff.
Huh? How can the editors be expected to realise that this has already been posted before?
You actually think any of the editors *read* the shit (yes i mean 'stories') that gets posted on here?
I know that they gave up on that a long time ago, sheesh, as if they'd even read comments you people post. (Well, except of course when Taco decides to bitchslap an entire thread down automatically)
Slashdot Mirror
Oh they're dirty!
_
Yeah, but i don't usually get off on fisting.
No medal for second place fuckface
Or taping the hampsters in duct-tape so that they don't explode when you sodomise them.
It has come to my attention that the person posting under the name of 'Michael Sims' (who's user account is simply 'michael') is in fact, Osama Bin Laden. Now before you say anything, and start ranting "Trollburger, you forgot to take your medication", or "Trollburger, you smoke too much crack" (which raises the question of 'how much crack can one smoke before it is too much'? but thats the topic of another thread somewhere in a distant galaxy.) Please allow me a minute to explain my perfect logic here.
Firstly, we can draw parallels with the two "different people"'s names. If you remove any occurrence of the letters "o" "s" "a" "b" "n" "d" from Osama Bin Laden's full name (except for the third 'a') and replace 'L' with 'ch', you get "Michael".
Coincidence? I think not. He is trying to send us subliminal messages.
Secondly, as you may or may not know, the person pretending to be "Michael Sims" works at a 7-11 shop, in downtown new york. I have seen him working there several times. You can find the particular shop, as it is quite noticable because of the large posters kept in the front window which read "1SL4M R0X0R UR B0XoR" and "W1ND0S 1S F0R F4GGETS". Now, Ive also managed to track down a picture of him working there, for the undeniable proof that "Michael Sims" is in fact, Osama Bin Laden.
Now, you will notice that Osama Bin Laden hates capitalism, this was part of the whole september 11 thing. Well, its easy to realise that "Michael Sims" is Osamba Bin Laden too, because he hates capitalism also. Duh.
George Bush says we're fighting a war on terror. And he's right. We're fighting a war against terrorists. We're fighting a war against l4m3rs who use linux. We're fighting a war against guns and stuff. We're fighting a war against taco snotting and the proponents of this filthy habbit.
What started out as me posting an article i found on an Anti Michael Sims website, has turned out into a revelation. They (Osamba In Laden and Michael Sims) are the same person.
Fuck you Annonymous coward
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(Please note that too much of this does lead to wider nostrils and extreme obesity
no i didnt, but i am now
No one really gives a fuck about a new distro, the fact is that slashdot editors are payed to hype new linux stuff that no one other than a bunch of nerds would care about, while selectively ignoring other things which might be of similar or greater interest (or reliablity/security) ( - like BSD for example).
shutten up
[These are comments by Bennett Haselton (Peacefire ) regarding the lack of consequences for Michael Sims' hijacking of censorware.org, and how it's not a case of truth-is-in-the-middle. Used with permission.]
[This was written to someone who made a plea to resolve the conflict, but also refers to trivializing and dismissive comments made in a public interview by Michael Sims' supervisor at Slashdot ]
Date: Sat, 20 Apr 2002 10:03:02 -0700 From: Bennett Haselton
Subject: Re: Please resolve the censorware conflict.
Any discussion of the Censorware.org controversy has to start from the fact that Michael and the rest of the former CWP are not "equal sides" in this, are not "both right and both wrong", etc.
Michael did not own the Censorware Project and did not do a majority of the work involved, he just hi-jacked the domain name and stole it from the rest of us. The fact that people look at what he did, and look at the response from the rest of the group, and call it "infighting" or "airing dirty laundry" is frankly an insult to the Censorware Project and its work. If the EFF webmaster put the eff.org domain in his own name and then hi-jacked it from the organization, he'd be branded a traitor and a pariah in the Internet community for the rest of his life, and nobody would ever forget what he did. Same if it was the CPSR.org webmaster, the EPIC.org webmaster, or whoever. But if the Censorware Project webmaster does it, we're expected to "work out our differences" with him?
There is an absolute difference between Michael and the rest of us. None of us, despite some personal animosities (not between me and anybody, but between people that I know), would ever, ever do anything like what Michael did. But Michael did it.
It doesn't matter whether or not Michael promotes anti-censorship work in his position as a Slashdot writer; he's hardly making much a difference by saying things that were going to get said anyway, and nothing he does there will ever come close to canceling out the harm he did by shutting down the one-time Censorware Project website.
The only legitimacy that Michael has is through his position as a Slashdot writer; he has just enough writing skills to make his writings sound seductively intelligent to anybody who doesn't know the real story. The fact that Slashdot hired Michael should be deeply embarrassing to them, and is in fact eroding Slashdot's credibility according to comments made by some people who found out about the Censorware.org site. But Slashdot is apparently too deeply wedded that decision to reconsider, and comments from [Michael Sims' direct supervisor] have been more of the same along the lines of "They should work out their differences" instead of acknowledging Michael Sims's utterly disgraceful behavior as compared to the average person. You think Slashdot really believes Michael is trustworthy, after what he did? Do you think they're going to let him put the Slashdot.org domain in his name? :)
-Bennett
________________________________________________ http://www.sethf.com/freespeech/censorware/project / ennett.php
They smell them i think. ive never experiemented with using the dirty panties, this was a troll. geez you people take stuff so seriously around here, lighten up guy.
It doesnt matter, Linux is still Openly Racist
Oh! they're dirty
They don't. Instead Timothy gets the honour of being a part of a Taco-snotting Circle jerk.
Thats very funny, but a good point. I see no reason why a suitably equipt nation-state (or potentially; a rogue group with the appropriate technology and connections (ie haxored satelite data)) could not put the same principles to a deadly use.
And vinegar. Goddamn I love enemas.
Sorry, i should have been more clear, i meant the post above: ('than you for yelling at me in the library') - not my post. thanks.
Did you know if you ROT-13 this post, and then, starting from the second character from the end, take every fifth character (not including punctuation or the numbering from the bullet points) going in reverse direction, you get "httpwwwgoatsecx"? Seriously. I can't believe i discovered it.
You want to hear a funny story about crapflooding? The other day at Uni i was sitting at one of the computers, and i could see a guy in the next row of computers making a crapflood for slashdot. Except he wasn't using a random generator (which presumably you are), he was typing similar things above totally by hand.
After i realised this, i quickly threw all my books etc into my backpack (so i could make a speedy exit), logged off and walked up to his computer. I said "hey", he turned and looked up at me. I yelled point blank into his face "YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT" as loud as i could, mashed his keyboard, turned his monitor off and walked calmly away before he could do anything. I hoped it made his day a bit more surreal, and perhaps taught him a lesson (use some sort of script when crapflooding, lest crazy Unix geeks run up and yell things in your face)
One of the librarians looked at me oddly as I walked off, but i ignored her. So just keep that in mind.
Dirty Panties!! (oh they're dirty)
(these are possibly the librarians panties i am talking about too)
Huh? How can the editors be expected to realise that this has already been posted before?
You actually think any of the editors *read* the shit (yes i mean 'stories') that gets posted on here?
I know that they gave up on that a long time ago, sheesh, as if they'd even read comments you people post. (Well, except of course when Taco decides to bitchslap an entire thread down automatically)
Thankyou for generating Slashdot autoresponse #298
no, but it seems the weather channel are making our graphics card drivers now
this isnt a racist thing though is it?
You want us to become whiter? Fuck off nazi. you can take your stalanitism and go fuck a goat or something.