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Fake Light Sabers Making Real Cash
jdedman4 writes "The fanfare over Episode II brings with it absurdist prequel theories as well as this article from the Houston Chronicle detailing one fan-enterpreneur's success. In eight years, Forney, Texas resident Jeff Parks has made himself a millionaire by making customized light sabers for collectors. "My goal is to be the best light saber designer in the world," quips Parks."
Doesn't he have to be a licensed Star Wars toy distributor?
Dear Lord, did Slashdot really link a Geocities site?
Yeah they are cool looking and all, but if they dont make the sound whats the point.
Where am I going and why am I in this handbasket?
This goes out to all the ACs worldwide.
Supply and Demand continues to be an economic principle!
I don't want it.
Besides, I know this guy in Chicago who's going to hook me up with some force powers! Awesome!
"Parks is not affiliated with LucasFilms, Ltd., the maker of the Star Wars movies, but he has sought a relationship. Six months ago, he lost a contract bid to be the official licensed manufacturer of Star Wars light sabers to Master Replicas."
http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/words-to-avoid.html
...but not strong enough to withstand a slashdotting!
This is my sig. Its pathetic.
He makes the most kickass lightsabers out of plumbing stuff from the hardware store. I remember one of them used a shower head...
As far as I know he doesn't go out looking to sell them but when he had a few and he was showing them off someone went up to him and bought one anyway..
Tim
Omnia vestra castrorum habetur nobis.
running around the streets with their new lightsabers.
The expression is "I could NOT care less." Think about it.
Ahhhh the slashdot effect. Crushing absurdist prequel theories' web sites in seconds.
*waves hand*
"This isn't the company you're looking to sue"
"move along lucas"
.
I felt a disturbance in the force as if all of parksabers.com's 56 kilobits of uplink all screamed at once and then died out.
I've come across his site before, and left drooling slightly. Those are freggin nice suckers, and I must say that I'm extremely impressed with his abilities.
I would even the steep price tag more or less justifiable, considering the impress-your-friends factor. People spend more on PDAs. But... well, what good is a replica light saber if you can't saber duel with yer buddies? The specs mention that the plasma lamp is encased in a virtually indestructible polycarbonate (actually, it reads "polycarbonite," which is either a typo or a clever pun) housing.
Well, polycarbonate is the same stuff they use to make high quality scratch resistant "virtually indestructible" eyeglass lenses. Quite a few of which I have personally destructed. So, I wonder how well the "blades" stand up to thwackin'.
-ks
The angel in the oatmeal.
An interesting note on lightsabers; They are actually flash handles from 1940s press cameras. What bearing that has on copywrites, I'm not sure, but I think it'd be hard to licence a garage sale part for your movie, personally. Maybe this guy's calling them "lite sabers". Of course, you see dozens of toy replicas made in Mexico in any toy store... "Galactic Laser Swords inc." If you can get away with that level of duplication, then it can't be too hard for this guy. More power to him. Now he just needs to make a working one ^__^ "Batteries not included"
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Originally Published on Texas Indecision on May 20, 2002
Posted on the Dedman Site on May 20, 2002
Is George Lucas Johnny Reb?
The Star Wars Trilogy & The American Civil War
Written by David Rogers
Texas Politico and Hopwood Plaintiff
I was inspired to think some more about Episode 2: Attack of the Clones by "The Case for the Empire," which makes the case that the Empire, not the Rebels, are really the good guys in the Star Wars saga.
While not making any judgment on that premise, after a second viewing (yes I am a TOTAL geek -- I saw AOTC TWICE on its opening weekend), I have decided that I was wrong in claiming that that the Republic is the Weimar Republic (though the bit about the Chancellor assuming dictatorial powers was a strong hint).
Instead, I believe that the Republic is the American Republic, circa 1860.
Emperor Palpatine is Abraham Lincoln. The Secessionist Rebels are.. well, secessionist rebels.
Tattered but Never Taken - 20th Alabama Battle Flag
Shocking, isn't it?
It's a world where Senators and Representatives grant "emergency power" to the executive branch, which the executive branch promises to return to the Senators and Representatives as soon as the current crisis is over. (But, of course, the executive never does return that power.)
And the executive, with his newly granted emergency powers, creates a "Grand Army of the Republic" -- precisely the same title Lincoln gave his army.
It is a world in which the new executive pushes aside the old because he has been "ineffective in dealing with the secessionist crisis" -- precisely the same complaint Lincoln made about his predecessor, Buchanan.
The Jedi, like the American graduates of West Point, are split. Some push the rebellion and secession (whose members suggest that their secession might be construed as treason), and others push the Republican Union.
Anakin Skywalker engages in a brutal massacre of Tuskan Raiders and Jawas ("Sand People" who nomadic lives and teepee-like dwellings suggest American Indians, particularly of the Southwest), whom he describes, in language reminiscent of George Armstrong Custer, as "animals." And like Custer, Anakin slaughters not only the men, but also the women and children.
But is Anakin Custer? Or is he Grant to Palpatine's Lincoln -- the utterly ruthless right-hand man whose brutality makes him essential to any attempt to put down the rebellion? And does that make his mentor, Obi-Wan, who we know will oppose Palpatine and Anakin -- Robert E. Lee?
And is it any accident that the Clone Wars are precipitated at the beginning by trade disputes like those that tore apart the industrial North and the serene, agricultural (Naboo-like) South? Is Senator Amidala really Senator John C. Calhoun of South Carolina, who protests the depredations of the Trade Federation only to be ignored by the Senate, and whose daughter is the ultimate leader of the Rebellion?
If so, and if we are meant to take seriously Lucas' portrayal of the rebels as the good guys, and the Imperialist Republic as the bad guys -- does that make George Lucas Johnny Reb?
And what is the "dark side" of The Force? Is it the desire for centralization and mechanization -- the "force" that turns Skywalker into Vader, and turns the peaceful Republic into the violent Empire?
And is it coincidence that Count Dooku -- the man who gave Jengo Fett his orders -- is known also as "Tyrannus" -- the same name Booth gave to Lincoln after he fatally shot the president, by shouting form the stage of the Ford theater "Sic Semper Tyrannus?"
Oh, and then there is the issue of slavery. The Jedi representatives of the Republic seemingly have no interest in ending it -- but it is the catalyst that drives Anakin Skywalker -- and ultimately, it will be he whose anger (over his mother's slavery, among other things) propels the Republic -- the Empire -- to victory over the secessionist rebels at the close of the Clone Wars.
By the time of Episode 4 slavery is (mostly) gone. The Republic, which is seemingly responsible for this change of events, has been swept aside by the corrupt Empire.
Is Lucas saying that that good was incidental as the primary actors -- Palpatine and his cronies -- acted only for selfish aggrandizement and greed for power and in the interests of commercial disputes?
And is the evil battled against in Episodes 4-6 the evil of a Leviathan (modern) state?
Is Vader evil? Is Palpatine? Or are they merely corrupted by absolute power?
Is Luke Skywalker, the man from the desert, descended from the avatars of Lincoln and Grant, Ronald Reagan, from the desert of Los Angeles? Is Luke's struggle against a too-large, unresponsive government with oppressive taxation Reagan's struggle?
And what does this mean?
Yoda ---> Dooku / Tyrannus
Dooku ---> Qui-Gon Jinn
Qui-Gon ---> Obi-Wan
Obi-Wan ---> Anakin/ Darth
Obi-Wan ---> Luke
Yoda ---> Luke
Is Yoda Jefferson? Is Obi-Wan Robert E. Lee? Are they teaching a lesson of state's rights which is ignored by their immediate successors, but is embraced by Luke Reagan?
And, if Palpatine is both Lincoln and the embodiment of the Dark Side, and NOT a Jedi, but someone who decisively rejects the Jedi/Jefferson tradition and who teaches something entirely new and mechanical in place of the spiritualism of the Yoda/Jefferson Force -- then what is Lucas saying about Lincoln?
Was that noise Yoda made really the rebel yell?
Well, at least they acknowledge where in their customers' psyches the deep-rooted need to own one of these things stems by naming one of their top models Malestrom as opposed to Maelstrom. I wonder if any of their customers notice this subtle dig?
More worringly, I wonder what a Femalestrom would look like?
Just beat the bejeezus out of them. That sucker's made from an aircraft-grade aluminum pipe.
Microsoft is to software what Budweiser is to beer.
(!) "This isn't the company we're looking to sue..."
"Let's move along and make another sequel."
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Dang it! Someone has beat me to the lucrative market of making completely inconsequential items for insane amounts of money! Curses! My plans for world domination.....crushed....
...now to take over the world by selling fast food, containing a minute dose of alkaloid...completely harmless, but absolutely addictive!
*Sigh* So much evil, so little time
"To make apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -Carl Sagan
The sabers need special materials for them. The Obi-Wan saber needed a rare British grenade, a shower head, and a few other materials. All the other ones (from the original movies, at least) need camera attachments for flashbulbs, with wiper blades and little electronic bits attached, for the most part. The camera attachments are reasonably expensive now, and are moderately rare.
So how did this guy find all the rare goodies to make all these things to become a millionaire off of them? He must have been awfully rich to begin with.
Anonymous Coward: (n.) 1. nerd at school or library. 2. karmawhore in training. 3. embarrased prep.
...made a lightsaber out of a flute. It was amazing what she could do with it.
In the article he states that he needed to hire help because of his 400 orders after EPII. Considering the site is slashdotted now, I am sure he will be selling way more then 400 this month. Perfect time to get into the black-smith business, not to be confused with the dark side...
The 33-year-old resident of Forney, 20 miles east of Dallas, makes custom light sabers,
Huh?
weapons used by Jedi knights in the Star
Wars films.
Ohhhh...
Also, on Parks' website, you can get a utility belt! I thought it was funny that it lists it as The DefianceTM Belt, Adjustable to fit sizes 32-40. I think he's grossly underestimated his clientelle...
"Now gluttony and exploitation serves eight!" - TV's Frank
Mmmm. Star Wars Products that don't line the pockets of George Lucas. Mmmmm
And now his sales will tipple. Anyone else remember what happened after thinkgeek.com was slashdotted? I wonder when we'll have the parksabers.com box as an option. What will the icon be when he comes out with a new model???
"Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
More powerfull then a any hacker /.
Faster then a speeding DoS Attack
Able to quelch tall servers with a single post
Its a bird its a plane no its
Personal Website
One million in eight years is $125K a year which isn't bad but he has two employees (dad and fiancee). Instead he sounds like a hardworking guy.
Anybody have technical details of this "glowing metal" concept?
That sight made User Fiendly's Link of the Day last week. Was Slashdot scooped by a comic strip? ;)
The dogcow says "Moof!"
as if a million webservers cried out and were silenced...
Hey, Beavis huh huh huh huh, I've got a light saber, huh huh huh huh, In my Pants. No way, butthead! Can I see it? I bet you want to, you wussy! huh huh huh huh! Shut up, fartknocker! heh heh heh heh.
How ya like dat?
If I recall, there's a guy here who owns one, also, discussions with the proprietors over strength,(you will spar, won't you?) and oh so many other details. http://arstechnica.infopop.net/OpenTopic/page?q=Y& a=tpc&s=50009562&f=34709834&m=5760901974&p=1
You must have missed this detail
"I had purchased a saber from a company that is now out of business," said 29-year-old Anthony Minichino of Brick, N.J. "Parks came along and had complete original designs. Some of them had working blades, which I'd never seen before."
Which is something to give me pause...
Working?
Just what we need for our special forces in Afghanistan.
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
The blade part doesn't look right (too thin). I wonder if he could fix that.
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
I'm sometimes shy to admit it, but I bought one of these things waaaaay back when he first started making them, and he only had 4 designs to offer. That was back before they were battery-powered. I bought one of them for my brother for his 28th birthday, and later I decided I couldn't stand not having one, and bought the Defiant light saber (the cheapest they had .. in case I didn't think it was cool after I bought it.)
I still think it's way cool, even though the Ep1 and Ep2 movies weren't all that great. At least I have my own light saber! :)
Here's the master replica website in case you want to actually see the official replica saber, complete with a quicktime movie demo of one in action.... at least it satisfied my curiosity while the park sabers site is being slashdotted.
::.. check out some Cell Phone Reviews
Comment removed based on user account deletion
... these actually work like real lightsabres then?
I realize the light saber of Star Wars is impossible for what we know now, but does anyone have anything to say or any URL's about possible light saber like weapons that actually work? What would it take? Come on geeks, if you can mod a case enough to make a dual athlon not overheat in 3 seconds, surely you can figure out a way to make a big thick laser beam capable of cutting through a car.
I'm Rick James with mod points biatch!
Check out this car:
g /
http://www.shawnandcolleen.com/shawn/Pages/hwin
And no, it's not a Photoshop job. I've ridden in this thing.
-Ian
The article says he has "grossed more than $1 million" over 8 years. This does not mean he has over a million dollars in assets. It probably does mean he's making a pretty good living, depending on the expenses involved in making light sabers.
...Jeff Parks is now living in a box after being sued by George Lucas. Yet strangely, nobody on slashdot talks about what a draconian bitch Lucas is.....
Sound far fetched, consider this.
One of the trials for becoming a Jedi is to build your own lightsabre. As Mr. Parks has demonstrated, he has already done this, so that challenge is completed.
And doing so without paying royalties to Lucasfilm could be considered defeating a great evil...
Minne-snow-da: Winter is comming...
Hey,
Minichino, who bought his Arc-Wave in 1999, also likes the touch-sensitive button that turns on the light panel and blade.
Yeah, they are the best type.
(You see? It's funny!)
Michael
"Goodness me, how unlike the FBI to abuse the trust of the American public." -- The Onion
You mean like this?
Y2K Compliant since the late 1890s
He should use some of that $1 million to buy a new webserver.
Macintosh humor! MacComedy.com
if you read.. you'll see he's not making authentic replicas of the original props.. but rather just cool looking light-saber like thingys.
BTW.. people selling props made out of the same parts as original props (You have to love how creative they were back then) are selling sabers for well over a grand.
of forcing the public to become customers by new legislation
I guess I am not the only one who read the article and went on a hunt for Jeff Park's work(s). thelightsaber.com appears to have suffered a /., or just by strange coincedences, it is unreachable.
======
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. - Euripides
It would basically be like that scene in the Holy grail where the black knight get his extremities lopped off. He who hits first with a real saber wins.
"Why do women like jewelry?" Parks asks. "The light saber reaches an emotional need to feel like a hero."
More like the light saber reaches an emotional need to overcompensate for having a teeny tiny eensy weensy penis...
Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
-B
Ash and Hickory, straight-grained and true, make excellent bludgeons, dandy for the cudgeling of vegetarians.
Master Replicas has better stuff. Including models that make the appropriate "wooom" sound when you wave them.
sigh.. here it is
here
The war with islam is a war on the beast
The war on terror is a war for peace
"It's a world where Senators and Representatives grant "emergency power" to the executive branch, which the executive branch promises to return to the Senators and Representatives as soon as the current crisis is over. (But, of course, the executive never does return that power.)"
Try the Roman Republic. This was a reference to when Julius Cesaer refused to give up the powers of dictator to the Roman senate.
DRINK DUFF (responsibly) DRINK DUFF (responsibly) DRINK DUFF
So yeh, that would probably work with Lucas, if the last two movies are any indication of his mental capability...
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
That site has no adds, and is still up. It must be a paid account or something.
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
Can't people read?
No electrons were harmed creating this post, though some may have been subjected to electrical and/or magnetic fields.
He's going to need more than a 'fake' lightsaber to fend off the slashdotting. :)
Parks makes the replicas to look faintly like versions used in the movies. They are typically aircraft aluminum, and are very, very tough and scratch resistant. Some are designed for a blade, others just hang on your belt and make people ask if it works.
The item I have is based on Luke's first/the Graflex design. It serves its purpose well enough for the costume during the occasional con or costume party. If you want a "lightsaber" of your own, Jeff does a good job.
Lucasfilm generally does not chase down anyone who avoids the use of trademarked names and likenesses or is otherwise obviously capitalizing on his vast empire. Otherwise, people who make costume templates and accessories, especially the stormtrooper stuff and droid parts, would be sued immediately.
Vos teneo officium eram periculosus ut vos recipero is.
...after a few feet, so it doesn't shine forever like a laser pointer? And what about the thickness of the beam? Would a beam an inch thick be more dangerous to look at? Is it even possible? Would it do any cutting, or would it be just like a thick laser pointer?
c-hack.com |
Luke... I slash dotted your site!
"So that would make this guy an uber nerd" Shamlessly ripped from the Conan O'Brein's "Triumph The Comic Dog" skit.
This is the old axiom of "Never bring a Knife to a gun fight"
In which regard, it is interesting to read an early draft of Stars Wars, dated 1975
[NB - the Luke in this script seems to be different than the "StarKiller" character, as seen from the very final scenes]
Goes hand in hand with the adages:
- Never throw shit at a man with a gun
- Never stand beside a man throwing shit at a man with a gun
- Never stay in a house with a man who is throwing shit at a man with a gun
- etc.
You get the idea"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
My university is running a research project on "tracking 3D textured object in the presence of aspect changes". Using a computer, a camera and holding a box in your hand, you can animate a light saber.
;o)
Here is information about the project and this is an image of the laser sabre in action.
Here is a movie (37Mb) showing it in action.
Now, all you have to do is to buy the handle from parksabers.com to get the real feeling
I just tried this, you may want to attemp it yourself:
Requirements:
- Potato (1)
- Knife (1 - preferably sharp)
- Cutting board (optional)
Directions:
1. plase cutting board on a stable surface
2. place potato on cutting board
3. Slice through potato with the knife
Voila! no hazardous gas has been produced.
besides, it could really be particle separator with a light display so you don't hurt yourself.
Yoda's lightsaber will be released on July 1st.
"Glowing electro-luminescent blade and authentic sound effects pulled directly from the movie" sounds very interesting and would be a good addition to my Lightsaber key chain.
The street lights are on little boy. Go home.
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It looks like Parks is doing quite well with his light sabres... Has anyone seen some of the other companies selling light sabre replicas? Like Future Horizons or Amazing1.com
I'd be interested to know how they compare in quality of construction, durability, brightness, etc...
You're first problem is power output, as stated. I guess we can assume that we'll get portable high energy power sources around that size some day, so lets ignore that one for now. You're next problem would be beam confinement. Making a highly destructive beam is the easy part. Confining it to sword-like dimensions is a bit harder. I'm no partical physisist, but maybe you can use the same technique they use to cancel out soundwaves-- Have beam "B" become 180' out of phase to beam "A" at a range of, say, 2 1/2 feet from the projector. Feel free to poke holes in that one all day long :) Now, technology providing, we have a nice 2 1/2 foot partical sword with only one problem... A distinct lack of kinetic action when said beam encounters a similar beam. There would be no duels here, just simple slicing and dicing. Instead of the phased beams, I guess you could use a magnetic bottle to limit the beam... Somehow. Then maybe you could have actual physical blade contact. Jeez, what a pain in the ass. Maybe I'll just stick to ultra sonic virbrating blades :p
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Favourite Lightsaber (http://www.parksabers.com)?
u ge
Arcwave
Defiance
Echelon
Fury
Malestrom
Ro
Trolling and flamebaiting is what you do for fun, and you're poking jokes at his social life?
I run a photography website (actually, one of the first photography websites), Graflex.org.
Lucas used a Graflex flashgun to make the light sabre prop, and as a result photographers and camera collectors have seen prices rise absurdly, now to hundreds of dollars for old flashbulb equipment that used to be available for $5-$15.
And furthermore, some of the folks who buy them are belligerent and abusive. I guess if they think you can become a millionaire, I understand now.
You mean like the original version of Coca-Cola?
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
sometimes its best to not read between the line and just enjoy the movie because thats all what it is.
The potential cross-over product between the Lightsaber and sex toy industry. Click here to check out Count Dooko's Lightsaber and see what I mean.
"I'm The Bounty Bear. I will find him anywhere. I'm searching."
Are you sure not just a Suborbital Ballistic-Propulsion Engineer?
Who run Barter Town?
Wouldn't it be cool to have Soiid-State gyroscopes analyse the rotation of the handle, and produce that cool humming sound accordingly? Could be made really cheaply...
And can anybody please explain, why in the IV-VI movies' german translations these light sabres are called laser swords (Laserschwert) ?
Did they try to avoid violating any trademarks?
Ben: Your father's lightsaber. This is the weap-
Luke: What's that red thing on the end?
Ben: Uh...that's so you don't poke someone's eye out...This is the weapon of a Jedi Kni-
Luke: What about the blade - does it retract? Huh? Does it?
Ben: Uh...NO you have to remove it when not in battle. Uh...where was I..oh yeah, THIS is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or-
Luke: And what about a sort of cool swirling noise? Does it have one of those?
"You can justify anything by putting it in quotes, adding a famous name and making it a sig" - Albert Einstein
I believe that the word you're looking for is superfluous
And it would be even better if it made the lightsaber noise when in use rather than the usual scredriver sound.
Insanity is the last line of defence for the master diplomat. But you have to lay the groundwork early.
I dont see why he should be allowed copyright "Light Saber". It unfair to copyright pre existing chunks of the Enlish language.
The Open Office spellchecker marks light saber as correctly spelled. This is because the Saber (a type of sword) could be either heavy or light.
On the other hand the compound word lightsaber, is not an already legitimate English phrase is is harder to confuse. Perhaps the distinction between "light saber" and the capitalized "Light Saber" is adequate for Copyright (capitalized in the Article but not in your post).
The life of the author plus 70 years? Seriously can you even imagine anyone wanting to use that movie Willow Lucas made, or Mcirosoft QDOS by that if the information actually manages to survive that long.
I recall reading somewhere (no, I don't know where or I'd have a link) that the Star Wars light sabre is a laser beam that arcs back onto itself into reciever ports - thus recharging itself continuously. No actual power output unless it contacts something. Terran physics does not currently include a way to arc a laser beam, especially at merely a meter. The theory is understandable, but the execution is not likely.
Last I checked a digital gyroscope (the type used for model helicopters) went for around $50 and the attached analog circuitry could probibly be built for around $20, so I figure you are adding about another $100 per blade (gotta pay someone to make this cool little circuit). looks to me like this would increase the cost on these things by 25-40%. This would make it not a cheap mod.
But it would be cool
I used to have a cool sig, back when I cared
Actually, someone beat you to that as well, but with a twist..
;-)
Have you had the swedish meatballs at Ikea? They aren't terribly addictive, but they sure do put you in a buying mood
Since you're not getting laid, you might as well watch this: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/video/tv/nerds.htm l
Meaningless distinction. : )
Why yes, I AM a rocket scientist!