User: Letter

Dear krog

On: Gmail Messages Are Vulnerable To Interception

Dear krog,

I can't remember the last time I caught the postman reading my e-mail.

Penis

Dear Slashdot

On: Getting the Girl

Dear Slashdot,

It's obvious: CmdrTaco needs only black boxes.

Letter

Dear Slashdot

On: Comcast Begins Rollout of VoIP

Dear Slashdot,

I just subscribed to this service and got my first ever clean, real 56K v.34 connection to my AOL! Thanks VOIP, and so long, 33.6!

Letter

Dear 10.3.7

On: Apple Offers Mac OS X 10.3.7 Update

Dear 10.3.7,

Holy sh..

I just upgraded and I got a 2.2 times OpenGL speedup.

Wow, Letter

Dear generationxyu

On: DJB Announces 44 Security Holes In *nix Software

Dear generationxyu,

I've had the same problem -- failing courses because THE SMASHING PUMPKINS have taken over your life. Instead of studying, you spend endless hours reloading billycorgan.com to read more of his unintelligible rants on god and bumblebees. You waste your time designing covers and dvd menus for your bootlegs. You listen to MARY STAR OF THE SEA but always end up going back to 2001-11-16.

I call this problem corganitis. The only cure is the METRO DVD release and afterwards imminent SMASHING PUMPKINS REUNION. We can only hope.

Toppling,
Graceful Swan of Never

Dear You Heard It Hear First

On: The Future of Digital Audio

Dear You Heard It Hear First,

THINK: like nintendo ds
mini ipods with wifi
connect to each other
à la iTunes
listen to other people's shared music

Letter

Dear Trinity Southern University

On: PA Sues Online 'University' For Spamming

Dear Trinity Southern University,

My cat is toilet-trained. Want pics?

Letter

Dear Parents

On: Too Many Computers Hurt Learning

Dear Parents,

I caught my daughter surfing on "The Hun's Yellow Pages" for bisexual porn, so I stopped her computer usage cold. I just popped some of the pins off the CPU. All that talk about the "younger generation" being more computer-savvy is BS.

Letter

Dear Cock

On: Professional Photographers Using Linux?

Dear Cock,

Oh, large one. How engorged you have become! Because I take pictures of you, I am a professional photographer. I develop the photos using the GIMP on LINUX. Luckily, it has a feature to remove the "red eye."

Oh, cock. You fill my CompactFlash with megapixels of your full-color glory.

Love,
Letter

Dear IBM

On: Chinese PC Maker Looks to Buy IBM's PC Business

Dear IBM,

Maybe it has something to do with the Power Chip Alliance they announced the other day?

One goal of the alliance is to make Power chips used in high volumes. IBM has shipped more than 1 million PowerPC 970 chips, it said. The more widely used the Power processors are, however, the more directly they compete against the dominant x86 family such as Intel's Pentium and Advanced Micro Devices' Opteron.

Look out Wintel! Look out Sun?

Letter

Dear Slashdot

On: HIV Vaccine

Dear Slashdot,

In honor of World AIDS Day, donate a dollar towards AIDS research.

Now back to Entertainment Tonight,
Letter

Dear Verizon

On: Verizon-Pushed WiFi Bill Becomes Law in PA

Dear Verizon,

Can you hear me now?

I mean, can you hear the sound of one million slashdotters clicking here?

Letter

Dear Wil Wheaton

On: Ask Wil Wheaton Anything (Part Deux)

Dear Wil Wheaton,

Boxers or briefs? ;)

Sincerely,
Letter

P.S. I freeball.

Dear Sniffer

On: WiFi Seeker, Finder, Detector Roundup

Dear Sniffer,

Usually my Internet connections at home and work suffice. But I guess if you're getting a sucky-fucky at the whorehouse and want to see if next time you should bring your laptop to browse /. then a WiFi detector is useful.

Letter

Dear Calendar

On: Serenity Pushed Back to September

Dear Calendar,

September already passed! It's almost Thanksgiving!

Letter Roast

Dear I Just Logged Your Keystrokes

On: Federal Judge: Keystroke Logging Isn't Wiretapping

Dear I Just Logged Your Keystrokes,

"How exactly is that ironic? Judge upholds precident. Wow, that's an unexpected turn!"

See?
Letter

Dear Slashdot

On: Screw-in LED Floodlights

Dear Slashdot,

Did you know that those LED traffic lights have the normal screw-in connector, so they can be placed in there just like a bulb? That way the whole electrical mechanism doesn't need to be replaced.

Letter

Dear the reason people reply to the first post

On: Microsoft Says Firefox Not a Threat to IE

Dear the reason people reply to the first post (instead of starting a new thread),

Because is Slashdot's Reply interface awkward is -- you have to click a Submit-like button instead of link click. People like click link, and that's why people click first "reply" link seen, which is feature to reply to the first post.

Deep Thoughts,
Letter

Dear Slashdot

On: A Review of "The Incredibles"

Dear Slashdot,

Pixar didn't give the characters capes because it'd take too much time to compute the fabric simulations.

Wild!

Dear XBOX User

On: XBox Owner Sues Microsoft

Dear XBOX User,

That's what you get for using the mod-chip.

Letter

Dear Ed Wood

On: Lost Ed Wood Film Unearthed

Dear Ed Wood,

I found your link.

Yours,
Modip Insightful.

Dear Slashdot

On: Brazil Successfully Launches Its First Rocket To Space

Dear Slashdot,

Brazil has certainly taken over Orkut. NASA is clearly the next logical step.

Letter

Dear X10

On: Telescope Will Have Images 10X Sharper Than Hubble

Dear X10,

I'm glad your telephoto lenses now let me see my neighbor's Venus, just like the Hubble!

Letter

Dear High Court

On: UK High Court Orders ISPs to Identify File-sharers

Dear High Court,

Stop issuing orders and pass the spliff already, won't ya?

Letter

Dear President Bush

On: Bush, Kerry, and Nader Respond to Youth Voter Questions

Dear President Bush,

Are you wired?

Letter