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User: Uber+Banker

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Comments · 852

  1. Re:The event is expired. on Gridwars Parallel Programming Challenge · · Score: 1

    Does the statement in the story:

    "The result of the last contest was somewhat of an upset, since a craftsmanly Russian program defeated a sophisticated genetic algorithm from NASA."

    Mean anything? You know... 'result' means it's over.

  2. Re:ILLEGAL on How to Jam a Worldwide Satellite TV Broadcast · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    You replied to this twice yet both times failed to see you were being wound up.

    And that's just with your fresh troll account... you did it with Gunsmithy a lot more.

  3. Re:Cuba, eh? on How to Jam a Worldwide Satellite TV Broadcast · · Score: 1

    Like 'we' gave Osama and Saddam arms?

  4. Re:Cuba, eh? on How to Jam a Worldwide Satellite TV Broadcast · · Score: 1

    Of course it did.

  5. Black WItchery on X Prize Race Heats Up · · Score: -1, Troll

    When I was young, I first started having fantasies about filling my pants with thick, stinking, greasy shit and how this would cause shock and horror to everyone around me. Sometimes I imagined doing it at church.

    Many years later, I have kept this to myself and my band mates, who understand that often the truest expression of romance is between men who have escaped the fear of extremity. I do also sleep with some women, when I can meet them at shows, but I do not prefer the company of women. Only battle comrades!

    I am in a moderately successful band which plays shows across the world in a style of metal music that is not accepted by the same people who would find pantshitting disgusting. However, many of our fans still are not ready to take this final step toward seeing the truth beyond. So we do not tell them.

    However, I have never before shit my pants on stage. Last show we played gave me a perfect opportunity. The "dressing room" was actually a big area behind the stage where there were lots things stored, like old machines and stage costumes in big brown cardboard boxes. No one could see me so I brought my bag of toys and got naked. First thing I did was to insert a rubber 12" black cock-style dildo into my ass, and I rubbed my asscheeks together, feeling it press hard into me and my submissive manly organ. It felt very good, but I could not maintain an erection without the smell of shit.

    Because of this, I became more excited at the idea of shitting myself in front of other people. I wanted them to know what happened, but I did not want to make it public in a way that others could talk about later. I put on my favorite red lace teddy, which is very femme and a gift from our guitarist, Tragenda, and then over it my black leather pants and Beherit tshirt. When I moved the silk lace slide over my buttocks and back, making me feel very sexy. But still I was not erect or turned on.

    I had prepared by eating a full meal at Taco Bell, but instead of drinking soda I had pure water and ate two or three butter packets from the restaurant, then had a couple of bran muffins and chocolate milk. Inside me the burbling tempest was beginning.

    Before the show started, I took one of the fans they have to keep us cool on stage and moved it so that it was blowing past my microphone stand into the crowd. People were already chanting our band name and pounding on the tables at the bar. I grabbed my instrument and we ticked off and began.

    Because I was stimulated, but not yet sexually aroused, this was one of the most energetic shows we have ever had. My energy was growing instead of going away, because of my little secret, which only I knew was going to occur before the unsuspecting crowd. On our final song, there is a part where I do a long and grotesque scream, and during the middle of this, I pushed hard in the behind area and felt a comforting warm ooze on my thighs and the bottom of my testicles as a sickening stench filled the air.

    The crowd must have smelled it, because the looks of horror on their faces were immaculate! I did not want to let out my secret, so I continued to crap myself while doing the show normally, and no one knew. The only cleanup I did was to run back to the dressing room before going out to meet the fans, where I wiped myself down with an old sequin dress from the costume boxes and threw the hopelessly soiled teddy into a corner.

  6. Black Witchery on Digital Domesday Defies Doom · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    When I was young, I first started having fantasies about filling my pants with thick, stinking, greasy shit and how this would cause shock and horror to everyone around me. Sometimes I imagined doing it at church.

    Many years later, I have kept this to myself and my band mates, who understand that often the truest expression of romance is between men who have escaped the fear of extremity. I do also sleep with some women, when I can meet them at shows, but I do not prefer the company of women. Only battle comrades!

    I am in a moderately successful band which plays shows across the world in a style of metal music that is not accepted by the same people who would find pantshitting disgusting. However, many of our fans still are not ready to take this final step toward seeing the truth beyond. So we do not tell them.

    However, I have never before shit my pants on stage. Last show we played gave me a perfect opportunity. The "dressing room" was actually a big area behind the stage where there were lots things stored, like old machines and stage costumes in big brown cardboard boxes. No one could see me so I brought my bag of toys and got naked. First thing I did was to insert a rubber 12" black cock-style dildo into my ass, and I rubbed my asscheeks together, feeling it press hard into me and my submissive manly organ. It felt very good, but I could not maintain an erection without the smell of shit.

    Because of this, I became more excited at the idea of shitting myself in front of other people. I wanted them to know what happened, but I did not want to make it public in a way that others could talk about later. I put on my favorite red lace teddy, which is very femme and a gift from our guitarist, Tragenda, and then over it my black leather pants and Beherit tshirt. When I moved the silk lace slide over my buttocks and back, making me feel very sexy. But still I was not erect or turned on.

    I had prepared by eating a full meal at Taco Bell, but instead of drinking soda I had pure water and ate two or three butter packets from the restaurant, then had a couple of bran muffins and chocolate milk. Inside me the burbling tempest was beginning.

    Before the show started, I took one of the fans they have to keep us cool on stage and moved it so that it was blowing past my microphone stand into the crowd. People were already chanting our band name and pounding on the tables at the bar. I grabbed my instrument and we ticked off and began.

    Because I was stimulated, but not yet sexually aroused, this was one of the most energetic shows we have ever had. My energy was growing instead of going away, because of my little secret, which only I knew was going to occur before the unsuspecting crowd. On our final song, there is a part where I do a long and grotesque scream, and during the middle of this, I pushed hard in the behind area and felt a comforting warm ooze on my thighs and the bottom of my testicles as a sickening stench filled the air.

    The crowd must have smelled it, because the looks of horror on their faces were immaculate! I did not want to let out my secret, so I continued to crap myself while doing the show normally, and no one knew. The only cleanup I did was to run back to the dressing room before going out to meet the fans, where I wiped myself down with an old sequin dress from the costume boxes and threw the hopelessly soiled teddy into a corner.

  7. Re:Who needs hardware DivX... on VIA Introduces A New Laptop Motherboard · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Oh dear...

  8. Re:I MADE IT! on VIA Introduces A New Laptop Motherboard · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Well done. May the GNAA suck GNAA ass all night with their P3 (Piss Poor Perl) scripts.

  9. Re:Linux? on Japan To Do Payroll On Linux · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    You are such a fucking bastard I will stick my finders into your eye sockets and pull your 'brain' out in two pieces. I will then shred and fry your brain with some garlic and eat it with a glass of Chenin Blanc.

  10. Re:FP on Evolving the Wireless Robot · · Score: -1, Troll

    nice. because trolling is all /. is worth.

  11. Compressed Data on CD Burners with Built in Compression · · Score: 0, Interesting

    Can it compress already compressed data? That would be tricky.

    IMHE most ppl use CDs for backup or video burning, in which case it is already compressed, to compress it further would take another dimension (which a CD writer could conceivably do, but then we're in blue laser territory etc)

    ?

  12. Are the Mods on Crack Again??? on Filesharing Up 10% After RIAA Threatens Users · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    This is a quick succinct point explaining some of the indirect factors associated with filesharing and could go on to discuss issues such as innovation vs. critical mass adoption, motivations of the RIAA etc. Quite thought provoking really.

    It has not been mentioned in such a way before in this discussion so is not 'redundant'.

    Now please put that crack pipe away.

    Slashdot only allows a user with your karma to post 10 times per day (more or less, depending on moderation). You've already shared your thoughts with us that many times. Take a breather, and come back and see us in 24 hours or so.

    If you think this is unfair, please email posting@slashdot.org with your username "Mod Me God". Let us know how many comments you think you've posted in the last 24 hours.

  13. Re:And? on DARPA Looking into Hypersonic Bombers · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Because then the congress-'men' wouldn't have 'bonuses' in the form of 'donations' and 'jobs' in their local area.

    And the US public will remain brainwashed into believing they have might when they really live every day cowered in fear and aggression.

  14. Re:phirst phuck! on Open Source Microsoft Exchange Replacements? · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    test...

    Due to excessive bad posting from this IP or Subnet, comment posting has temporarily been disabled. If it's you, consider this a chance to sit in the timeout corner. If it's someone else, this is a chance to hunt them down. If you think this is unfair, please email moderation@slashdot.org with your MD5'd IPID and SubnetID, which are "xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx" and "xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx".

    Karma: Excellent. Is this the time to burn some?!

  15. Re:i am on Engaging with the OSS Community · · Score: -1

    Hear you there brotha.

  16. Re:Gnome Themes on Screenshots of Mac OS X 10.3 Panther Leaked · · Score: 1

    I think you're confusing a free lunch with free at point of delivery.

    I disagree, if everyone got what they needed they could still want, and get what they don't need, but would like. SO things would get done and people do get paid.

    Like most forms of health care in most of Europe: we may all need health care at some point and there it is free (at point of use but paid for through taxes). In the US it is not free - they'll patch you up and send you out.

    Should someone die because they're paid less or don't have insurance for another reason? Or insurance companies are incentivised to encourage doctors not to tell you the truth?

  17. Trace source on 55808 Trojan Analysis · · Score: 1

    Despite there being no valid origin address in the packet, can't networks get together and pool resources and find out which network (it is a physical link afterall and traceable) passed them the packet, then compile all of these origin sources, then the source would be revealed by point-of-earliest-contact.

    Or multiple hosts.

    Or do networks not like to get together like this?

  18. Re:self destruction on Legitimate uses for DeCSS · · Score: 1

    Wow. A very succinct blast into reality.

  19. Work of Art on Artists Protesting Single-Song Downloads · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Sometimes I could agree with that, in which case surely fans would buy that 'art' complete.

    But how, in any way, are Madonna's songs more than some stucatto 3 minute pop tunes - do they combine in the album to create art greater than their constituant parts?

    Or perhaps some discount could be given for downloadinging the songs seperately if there was a lack of demand. An artist loves the art - so making money from the catchy song and giving away the 'filler' that may complete their albumtastic circle is perfectly acceptable.

  20. Re:thats pretty cool on Flight Simulator 2002 With 13 Monitors And 9 PCs · · Score: 1

    But only 1 ear would allow you to hear the roar of the fans in those eh... boxes.

  21. Re:Real CD trade on Bill Would Let FBI Police File-Sharing · · Score: 1

    Why do teens lend certificates of deposit?

  22. Re:A thought... on Bill Would Let FBI Police File-Sharing · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I doubt the FBI have much of the resources - now. They could be conviently funded by the RIAA though and get resources directed to this.

    So it comes down to a secretive police force investigating people on behalf of corporate funding rather than allowing these funds to be spent on murder, terrorism, rape or theft charges.

    Shame on you.

  23. Re:OMG OMG OMG OMG on Screenshots of Mac OS X 10.3 Panther Leaked · · Score: 1

    Yeah...

    And it doesn't even look different to the present one.

  24. Re:s/liters/litres on CPU Cooling with 15 Liters of Water · · Score: 1

    No. The singular is 'litre' The plural is 'litres' Hell, either get it all wrong and spell it 'liter'/'liters' or get it all right 'litre'/'litres'. And no, I am not American, did a correct spelling confuse you???

  25. Re:And what about modern CPU's? on Your Brain May Have Amazing Powers · · Score: 4, Funny

    And that is why we exist - because the other 90% is being used by our evil masters.

    We are more efficient than silicon so they use us.