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User: The+Clockwork+Troll

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  1. Videoconferencing solutions on Implementing Intercom-like Videoconferencing? · · Score: 3, Funny
    My company, Clockwork Enterprises, will gladly share our videoconferencing expertise with your staff.

    We charge a nominal fee of $1,000 per consultant per day and expect our research will take a minimum 28 staff-days.

    Implementation of discovered solutions is extra, as is bandwidth consumed during research.

  2. obligatory on Networking the Redwoods · · Score: 0, Troll
    It is official; The Lorax confirms: redwood trees are dying

    One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered Grickle-grass community when the Lorax confirmed that the redwood population has dropped yet again, now down to less than a fraction of 1 percent of all oaks. Coming on the heels of a recent Lerkim survey which plainly states that redwoods have lost more forest share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Redwoods are collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Forestry Association comprehensive woodworking test.

  3. Re:Speaking of which... on RPC DCOM Cleanup Worm Appears · · Score: 1

    You do realize that supporting Trevor Rabin is like supporting musical terrorism, don't you?

  4. Re:So cool! on RPC DCOM Cleanup Worm Appears · · Score: 1
    But, notice that this worm self un-installs at a certain date.
    That's great for this worm, but it sets a horrible precedent.

    Imagine that other folks get inspired and proceed to develop anti-worms that attempt to fixploit any of the hundreds of the vulnerabilities discovered on various platforms over the years.

    Apart from the network traffic issue, now all of the sudden you've got tons of anti-worm crap sitting on your box, potentially executing every time you boot up. Just because it will erase itself at the beginning of the year doesn't make it OK.

  5. Re:Gotta love marketing jargon on ATI Wins Bid For Next Xbox · · Score: 1
    It couldn't possibly be based on technical criteria. First off, nVidia has better drivers. This is important.
    Since we're talking about a system that operates as a black box (figuratively and literatively), would drivers matter, practically? It's not like you'd be able to go and download the latest Detonator update for your XBox2.
  6. Re:Google? on Nutch: An Open Source Search Engine · · Score: 1
    Last i heard google still doesn't accept bribes for page ranking.
    They aren't stupid, give them some credit.

    If they accepted bribes for anything, it would be for concrete information about their ranking algorithm.

  7. Re:Does this mean... on The Diamond Age · · Score: 1
    My ex got a diamond video card (from her previous ex) on their anniversary. She warned me sternly that it would not work on her again.
    That's because Diamond Multimedia merged with S3 to become SONICBlue.

    Clearly your ex was telling you to buy her a shitty MP3 player on your would-be anniversary.

  8. Re:I'll never be able to afford a new PC... on The Diamond Age · · Score: 4, Funny
    I can see the tustle between Microsoft and the South African slave traders hotting up already...
    Yes, civil wars are always the bloodiest.
  9. my idea on A Dotcom in a Basement? · · Score: 0, Funny

    I have been working on a concept I call the "basement company idea exchange forum" forum wherein people who have been working on concepts can get together and discuss their ideas for what they call "basement company idea exchange forum" forums wherein people who have been working on concepts can get together and discuss their ideas for what they call "basement company idea exchange forum" forums wherein people who have been working on concepts can get together and discuss their ideas for what they call "basement company idea exchange forum" forums ...

  10. Re:Zap Branagan and Kif rule on One Last New Episode of Futurama · · Score: 1

    Leela is the marrying type, but I'd give up Slurm for a few nights with Amy Wong.

  11. Re:a word of warning on Buying a New TV? · · Score: 1
    If your contrast is properly set (most TV's come with contrast set to 100 which is a recipe for screen burn), this is less of a problem.

    If you play a lot of games, set the contrast lower.

  12. Re:Call me Flamebait... on Consumer Reports Discovers Tech Support Sucks · · Score: 1

    Unfortunately there is no moderation that means "-1, Inaccurate" or "Uninformative".

  13. Inertia-opolies on Consumer Reports Discovers Tech Support Sucks · · Score: 1
    I suspect a lot of software (and service) companies enjoy what I call "inertia-opolies" wherein, although there are many equal or better choices for alternate software/service providers, the company is betting that you will not want to go through the pain of switching since most of the time you are satisfied or at least not horribly dissatisfied.

    Where a monopoly has its customers by the balls because they are the only game in town, an inertia-opoly has its customers by the balls because most have too many other things to do to bother exploring different options.

    Skimping on testing (and customer service) is part of this gamble.

  14. Re:wtf on EBay Fined $29.5M in Patent Case · · Score: 1
    You didn't make a "valid point."

    You made a blanket criticism of the US and then a second statement that indicated you did not understand the gist of the lawsuit (which had little to do with selling at a fixed price but rather the "buy it now device").

    You concluded with a question about patent office employees ffs (which I assume means "for fuck's sake" but I can't be sure) which also conveyed little understanding of the matter, and was more of a weak punchline to your post than a point of argument or rhetoric.

    In short, your post did no more to engender interesting discussion than your average goatse link, and you deserve the moderation you got, as I deserve the moderation I will get.

  15. Re:I think the MPAA just.... on MPAA Opens Anti-filesharing Website · · Score: 1

    Please, fill us in.

  16. Re:No kidding. on Is Louder Better? · · Score: 2, Funny

    Only the one with "Fly By Night" on it.

  17. Re:In the case of Rush .... on Is Louder Better? · · Score: 1

    If you had read the article you'd know that 0 dB (reference) is as loud as possible.

  18. Re:The Death of Dynamic Range on Is Louder Better? · · Score: 5, Funny
    Bryan Adams' "Cuts Like a Knife" represented the pinnacle of CD mastering?

    I took it all for granted; how was I to know?

  19. Re:Limbaugh? on Is Louder Better? · · Score: 1, Funny
    "Son, there are some things in the world that are just not funny. And one of those things is Al Franken."
    -- Jeffrey Ross, quoting his father.
  20. Re:Well... on Maximum Latency for ISPs? · · Score: 2, Funny
    Holy shit. I have trouble putting food on the table and you're worried about your high latency times for an 8mbps connection?
    Have you considered serving trays?
  21. Re:Code Wizards suck anyway. on Is Wizard-Code a Derived Work? · · Score: 1
    If I don't like to work with the code it generates, why would working with the objects it generates be any better?

    Applying your idea to the MSVC world, it would be like Visual C++ generating a generic application into which you could only plug-in message handling callback functions, subject to some generic application API.

    Oh wait, that's Windows. Ah, now I recognize you, Bill.

  22. reading on Writing a Linux Device Driver on Company Time? · · Score: 5, Informative

    This book might shed some insight.

  23. Re:Guh? on Overture To A Patent War? · · Score: 1

    Don't hate the player, hate the game.

  24. Re:Discrete mathematics texts on Discrete Math Textbook Recommendations? · · Score: 1
    Cripes!

    Don't forget "HTML: The Definitive Guide"

  25. Re:Phone Frequency on How Reliable is 900Mhz Wireless Internet? · · Score: 1
    Nice try loser. Most phones use 2.4GHz now. And 5.8GHz phones are already out. Try reading more.
    Hi there, I'm from Merv Griffin Productions.

    We'd like to invite you to come try out for our forthcoming game show, Cordless Phone Jeopardy.

    By any chance can you arrange transportation to Go-Fuck-Yourself, Indiana for tryouts on July 26th?