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User: RedA$$edMonkey

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Comments · 78

  1. SCO Vs Enron on Getting Over the Stigma of a Previous Job? · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Employees at Enron didn't know they were getting fscked until the end when they umm, got it in the end.

    Enployees at SCO know at this very moment that some funky shit is going down. If they don't jump ship now they don't deserve jobs elsewhere. Unless they truly believe like some crazy jihad zealots that SCO is right, they are gambling their livelyhood on the prospect that SCO will win and be able to rape the rest of the linux world with licenses.

  2. Re:um hold up a bit I work there... on Wal-Mart Music Download Service Launches · · Score: 1

    "Actually. what happened was they rounded up all the meat cutters and their families and had them ground up into patties, and then sold them prepackaged. The only part that I'm confused on is how they found anyone qualified to grind them up if they killed all the meat cutters." Did they label the meat "Good Burger"? Just thought I'd ask... :) Actually they called it Chuck. ;)

  3. Re:um hold up a bit I work there... on Wal-Mart Music Download Service Launches · · Score: 1

    Actually. what happened was they rounded up all the meat cutters and their families and had them ground up into patties, and then sold them prepackaged. The only part that I'm confused on is how they found anyone qualified to grind them up if they killed all the meat cutters.

    the story is over at goatse.cs

  4. YAY! on Appeals Court Rules Against RIAA in DMCA Subpoena Case · · Score: 1, Funny

    Let the frenzied orgy of music downloads begin!

  5. Re:Sic Semper Spammeris on Virginia Arrests Man For Spamming · · Score: 1

    parental approval?

    "Hey, mind if I go fuck your 15 year old daughter?"

    "Why no not at all. Make sure you properly lube her up before you go in the back door, we don't want our little kimmy to have rectal bleeding on the bed sheets."

  6. Re:FasTrak on Police and Lawyers Love E-ZPass · · Score: 1

    To alleviate your concearns about being tracked by your FasTrak device simply place mylar bag over your head while driving. Tighten securely.

  7. SciFi Channels Model. on New Battlestar Galactica Premieres Monday · · Score: 1

    This is not a mini series. It is a pilot. Just Like Riverworld and all the other bombs they tossed at us. I hope it does well so we can have some new entertaining scifi but if it's a piece of crap, so be it. Just remember when you watch it your opinion may help decide if this will stick around and be turned into a series or we'll be be stuck with some other piece of shit like Lexx.

    Personally I don't like this method because many shows can't be judged just on their first episode (think Babylon 5). They can't just stick their toe in the water with a miniseries and then decide if they want jump in all the way. To make really good compelling scifi they need to plan out vast storylines in advance and make sure viewers know the episodes are not books but just chapters.

    Of course if this fails, expect to see Buck Rogers next.

  8. Re:The future? on Microsoft to Charge for FAT File System · · Score: 1
    Litigation: The Business Model of the Future!(TM)
    I've trademarked all those words. Consider yourself sued back to the Stoneage. Wait, what's that? A Mr. Flintstone wants a word with me.
  9. Re:Don't worry... on New Battlestar Galactica Premieres Monday · · Score: 1

    And now Scott Bakula is Leaping back in time to set right what was wrong ... Who better to go around fixing the timeline. In a few episodes we may see a hologram popping up giving him a 83.6% chance that he needs the xindi to marry the suliban in order to leap.

    A little OT but I couldn't resist

  10. From the its-already-junk dept. on Breaking the Gigapixel Barrier · · Score: 1

    God dammit! That Roku I just bought is already obsolete. Now I need a ultra-HDTV. Asshole.

  11. Re:SPAM fines on US House, Senate Agree on Anti-Spam Bill · · Score: 1
    The word is "intentional", as in "I was purposely breaking the law" as opposed to statutory, "I didn't know I was breaking the law".

    Since when does statutory mean "I didn't know I was breaking the law"? It's not statutory because "I didn't know she was 16". It means of or relating to a law enacted by the legislative branch of a government not a law that someone didn't know about.

  12. SPAMmer are shaking in their boots on US House, Senate Agree on Anti-Spam Bill · · Score: 1

    Does anyone even know how many US spammers are out there? If there are only a few hundred this might help some but what if there are thousands or hundreds of thousands. Tracking them all down would be like trying to arrest all the people that speed or download mp3s, like stopping a tidal wave with your middle finger. They're not going to stop unless the risk outweighs the benefits and if all they get is a puny fine, if anyone can even catch them, then they are not going to even blink at this.

  13. Lost? on More Than 500,000 High Tech Jobs Lost in 2002 · · Score: 1

    Oh wait here they are. They fell under the cushions next to the ethical business practices and uncorrupt politicians and CEOs who give a shit about anything other than their feed troughs full of money.

  14. $Neilson? on Fox Considering a Return of "Family Guy" · · Score: 1

    So if we all go out and buy a million copies of Firefly on DVD and all the other promising shows that those dumbfucks canceled they'll bring them back too?

  15. exponents on New 'Mystery Meson' Sub-Atomic Particle Discovered · · Score: 1

    "and exists for only about one billionth of a trillionth of a second before it decays"

    Is it just me or wouldn't it be nice if they just said 10^-21 seconds instead. I'd assume that just about everyone who would give a rat's ass about teany tiny ephemeral particles would know something about exponents. I'm personally a little sick of reporters simplifying all this crap because they assume everyone has a 3rd grade education.

  16. Western equivalent on Whistle While You Work · · Score: 1

    Anyone ever heard of Morse Code? It's essentially chirping noises, you could whistle it, and it's reached a hell of a lot further than 2 miles. So pucker those lips and kiss my ham .- ... ...

  17. I've been infected!! on First Reproducing Artificial Virus Created · · Score: 1

    I've been infected by an artificial virus! Losing Controlll ... say, does anyone want to buy a penis enlarger or help me transfer $50 million dollars from Nigeria?

  18. I wasn't me! honest on The Computer Owner - Guilty or Not Guilty? · · Score: 1

    a hacker broke into my system and uploaded these 20 gigs of mp3s! no really!

  19. yea, yea on Computer Control Implants for the Paralyzed · · Score: 1

    Cybernetic brain implants are all fun an games until someone puts out another sequel that totally sucks and doesn't answer any questions to the first 2 movies.

  20. Re:An eye for an eye, a minute for a minute on Spammer DDoS-By-Virus On spamhaus.org · · Score: 1

    That argument would end the lives of about 90% of all TV show producers.

  21. Real cause of decline? on Gaming Communities Cause Of TV Ratings Decline? · · Score: 1

    Pr0n and /. Actually Pr0n only takes up about 3 minutes of time. with /. however, I can take hours thinking up funny things to post. But don't you mind that fact that I've played Diablo 2 for 18 hours in the past week.

  22. Windows did have some advantages however ... on Land Warrior Army Suits Simplified, Linux-ized · · Score: 5, Funny

    "The minesweeper simulation did not seem to adequately train our engineers"

  23. Unfortunate on Land Warrior Army Suits Simplified, Linux-ized · · Score: 1

    "Unfortunately for OS stability, we are required to dress up in tuxedos and wear red hats"

  24. Stop putting all the blame on the oil industry. on The End of the Oil Age · · Score: 1

    When people go out and buy SUV land boats and then drive them around everyday without any passengers that sends a clear message to the oil companies. "I don't give a shit about pollution or funding terrorism or using up natural resources. I just want my seat to be higher up than everyone elses so when I ride someone's ass all they see is my grill and my headlights." I think changing the minds of wasteful consumers will end up being a a lot harder than any energy company.

  25. How humane. on Femtosecond Lasers for Nanosurgery · · Score: 1

    Finally they can examine cells without killing them. This is a great victory for cell rights activists everywhere. If you've ever heard the screams of poor innocent cells, like from that bottle of maddog the other night, you'll be able to truly appreciate the suffering these misunderstood creatures have had to endure.