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  1. Year 2530 on Space Station Turning Into a Trash Heap · · Score: 1

    This is the captains logbook - stardate 3265.2

    A large poly-ethelene bag was seen drifting aimlessly in space. We decided to explore it. Among other things, it contained human excreta believed to be 500 years old. These were sent to science lab for proper study. The priliminary results show that that the humans of the time had strange eating habits. This is really interesting stuff - and a detailed study will reveal a lot about the daily life of those olf times.

  2. Impracticable and Expensive on Air Force Researching Antimatter Weapons · · Score: 1

    Nuclear weapons emit neutrons, some alpha particles, and mostly radiation. That is what is called "nuclear radiation". Now this nuclear radiation is nothing but gamma rays.

    The combination of matter + antimatter gives a gamma ray. Contrary to popular views, it does not vanish, but actually energy ins emitted. This is well exemplified as the 23 times the booster energy in rockets. However the radiation (energy) is also lethal, and is of the same nature as the thermoluclear radiation. There is no difference. So I don't understand when the author says "it's doesn't emit plumes of radiation"?! What radiation is he talking about? So theantimatter weapons would be as harmful in terms of radiation damage.

    Secondly - it requires billions to produce just one microgram of anti-matter. At present, antimatter costs $62.5 trillion per gram. You have to put in energy to produce antimatter. The amount of energy that needs to be later realeased. It's like you have 1 million dollar notes, and a credit card with the spending limit of 1 million. It's just a conversion into a form that is smaller. So it's not free energy, and the cost of making antimatter is huge! I don't think one would go and buy a million dollar hamburger, when he can buy a $1 burger kong.. So it's just fiction for the next 100 years - then something cheaper will come forth.

  3. Great job on Federal Bounty on Spammers · · Score: 1

    This is a real job! Hundreds of jobs just got created. I can now hunt down those senders of thousands of junk emails to my account.

    Where to report? I can already see my money! Yeah! Great... I'm giving up all my other jobs, to pursue this - it is my future career. I'm secure for my lifetime - long live spam, and the spammers (so that I can keep getting bounty).

  4. Re:Marketing hype? No, unfortunate reality. on Cringely: MS To Hurt Linux Via USB Enhancements · · Score: 1

    That is real scary!

    After Edison invented the gramaphone - one needed to pay him (or the instrument company) once and the record company many times to buy new recordings. Well that has existed so long, until now.

    Suddenly if someone says, you will have to play a song (on an updated disk called a CD), on a music system (all purchased legally) - but now you have to pay a yearly fee to enjoy this. What a thief! The others vendors are asking one time money for their products that are necessary - and here comes a crook telling me that just to listen to the things I bought, I would have to pay a weekly/annual amount to a third party?! It's the typical "mafia" mentality of the early 20th century!

    To do business you need to pay a gang-lord some money. Why? There is no just cause, except that you just wanna continue to enjoy the freedom to do business. Out of fear, that no one can or is willing to protect your freedom? What happened to the anti-monopoly laws!

    Well this is what is happening here. Our freedom to choose, to practice freely is being hampered by a third party called MS-Corp., who wants an yearly allowance (called lisence) just to let us do what "they" think is allow-able! Imagine an embeded OS in your fridge, washing machine, cell phone..

    Oooh! that is unbearable! To do anything that runs on electron flow, you need to pay MS-Corp.? Anything that has even a semblance of a microprocessor can be taken over. Then to do the everyday things in life you need to pay, weekly/monthly/annually! It's not like Federal tax, or State tax that is taken from you to give you some necessary conviniences that cannot be provided otherwise - like roads/postal/police/fire dept etc. What will MS-corp give you in return? It is an un-necessary tax burden on you, just for the fact that you need to do something. You don't get back anything in return for the money. You can survive with a washing machine/phone/TV/CD-player/DVD-player - "without" using a OS-with a lisence!

    Why does one need to pay for this crappy mafia OS just to have the freedom to live and work as we want to? In the end - the quality of that product is also in question! Crap! Pay for gathering garbage - are we out of our minds?

  5. Close All Windows on Flaw in Microsoft JPEG Parsing · · Score: 2, Funny

    Performance rating - ms windows Listen to music insecure + Look at pictures insecure + Read a document insecure = Keep windows on insecure If there is no use of windows anymore then, Remedy is: No windows - only doors and walls please. Close windows.

  6. Re:Poor public education? on US Losing its Scientific Dominance · · Score: 1

    I wonder how many ./ters can compute Sqrt(2) without a calc/comp. I won't ask how to calculate 2^1/3 without a calc as it will take the genius kids the next 100 years of rediscovery.

    Don't despair here it is - the old way:

    1|2|1.4142135
    x1 1
    24|100
    x4 96
    281|400
    x1 281
    2824|11900
    x4 11296
    28282|60400
    x2 56564
    282841|383600
    x1 282841
    2828423|10075900
    x3 8485269
    28284265|159063100
    x5 141421325
    17641775

    and on. I guess that's enough for now sqrt(2) ~ 1.4142135 (acc to 6 decimals)

    Why?

    Now now. what would Capt. Kirk do if he couldn't remember how to make gunpower? All the time cribbing for a hand phazor! I'm hoping 50% of ./ters watch Star Trek. eh!

  7. making microsoft and unix open-source on Leaked Memo Says Microsoft Raised $86 million for SCO · · Score: 1

    well well, ms (microscft) giving money to sco to fight linux; didn't i know that before?! else, where would penurious sco get money to challenge ibm? now that sco wants to see ibm aix code - there will a chance for ms to copy code into "doors" (windows is too small for all the virus that get in - they should rename it to "doors" - seriously). so there should be a court order so that linux people can see ms and sco code, in order to stop them from copying stuff. well then if everyone sees what the other is doing, then all will be open source (sweet). i remember the saying "whatever you try to achieve, you get to unachieve it first". like - you wanna stop people using your house walls as a blackboard (or whatever color it is), you go in and put in the first message "stick no bills". isn't that irony? likewise ms trying to stop oss will end up revealing all they have... great; well done billy.

  8. Re:Even older prior art on MS Patents IM Feature Used Since At Least 1996 · · Score: 1

    It seems MS is happy to tout 'top ofthe line' products, that cavemen used!? What an advanced idea.

    boohooo.. I don't want to live in caves - someone please save me from the stone age monster!

  9. more patents on MS Patents IM Feature Used Since At Least 1996 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Pending patents from MS:

    (10) numerals on keyboard 0...9, letters q...m
    (9) a = a+1; (does not mean 1 = 1+1)
    (8) mouse has more than one button
    (7) when you type 'a', the 'a' shows up on screen
    (6) pressing 'enter' crashes the program, there are new advanced keys too 'crtl'+'alt'+'del'
    (5) pc speaker sings RIP along with blue screen event
    (4) only one website can do it all 'i can't believe it's not butterfly.com'
    (3) you send an email, and it goes to the addressee - dodging the mail filter
    (2) right to pick up the outlook icon on the screen - and safely save in the recycle bin
    (1) computer needs to run a program - not just the os (and bios)

  10. patent on What Counts as Music and Why? · · Score: 1

    I'll start applying for intellectual rights patent on basic sound forms, that i synthesize on my computer. whoever uses that waveform, in totality, or as a part of a greater "music/noise" composition;( i will Fourier transform each passage and match it with my collection), without my permission will violate the copyright. Wait folks, in a few days the sic-mu industry will be all mine! hmm.. then I'll check out RIAA.

  11. Bogus IO service on Microsoft Taking Over the BIOS · · Score: 1

    Next time the comp will only get blues - yeah from the start to it's end.

  12. Illegal on Microsoft Patents 'Phone-Home' Failure Reporting · · Score: 1

    Dear PTO,
    We wanna apply for a patent for the processes below.

    1. popup showing
    "This program has caused an illegal operation"
    where;
    program = anything which is not MS windows, illegal = anything desinged better than ms windows handling capacity
    operation = any form of useful process the user wants

    2. next line showing
    "at address XXXX5432XXXX"
    which is not a street address of a b-movie theatre.

    3. blue screen comes up (trademark already in place for this)

    4. as win starts next time (if at all) it will figure out if Netscape / IE caused the error. If it was IE, then it's the error caused by Netscape trying to alter IE settings. Information about what port Netscape was using will be sent to MS.

    4. MS now has the right to stop illegal Netscape from accessing the ports.

    he he he :one-poly. 'clever pls people translate'

    words : legal evsdropping, remote screw-up, more cherries for insects

    PTO; what a great idea! patent for ms!

  13. chimps on Mass Fatality Identification System · · Score: 1

    i wanna know which chimp i'm related to. hopefully my geneology does not end up with some other evolved chimps runnnig amok!

  14. weight catalog on Smart Sofa Recognizes Occupants by Weight · · Score: 2, Interesting

    yes - it will keep measuring how fast mr x keeps gaining weight. next it will also tell which doc to go to - maybe even call the doc (to write your death certificate). perfect recipie to make people more fat and stupid. wonder of mc daddy has something to do with it. 1st day; 150lb, day 10; 200lb - going good - day 30: your end is near, i'll order the your favourite quadruple cheese burger. makes me wonder who thought this up!

  15. MS objectives for a better world on Windows ATMs by 2005 · · Score: 1

    MS software to infiltrate cars, banks, phones, watches, your coffee machine.. Here's how MS will affect us eliviate our sufferings:

    1. Cars: auto-pilot and navigation will take off from the nearest cliff, overriding user requests -causing the liberation of the souls of the passengers. Will take you to MS sponsored hotels and refuse to startup until you have paid lodging fees.

    2. Banks and ATMs: You have a LOAD of cash - well don't worry MS ATM's will lessen your burden by feeding it to the worms. You will get the benefits later, being on a higher level of the food chain - ie worms eat cash, birds eat worms.. and so on till it reaches you.

    3. Washer's and dryers: Clothes will be as white as the glass on windows (hmmm). And on top of that here's the slogan- "Totally clean clothes, VIRUS FREE!".

    4. Fashion: MS fashion suit will create the perfect looks for you - that is an android, looking blue, feeling blue, black and blue - the color of choice.

    5. Clocks and watches: will sing MS logon chime every 1/4 hr for 14minutes. All time will be set to Redmond time. Will not wake you up in the morning if you have forgotten to pay the annual fee.

    6. Phones: There will be software encryption and licencing to be renewed every week for voice encryption, else you will be made phone deaf and phone dumb. That's the cost for security - well you know how good that will be :)

    Well dear fellow humans - here's a picture of the new MS world. Hope you enjoyed it.

  16. Bill getting richer on Tech Rich Get Richer · · Score: 1

    > Forbes' editors pinned Gates' success on his
    > Windows operating system's hold on the market,
    > running on 94 percent of desktop computers, as
    > well as Microsoft's ambition to move beyond PCs
    > to TVs, cell phones, cars and wristwatches.
    > Forbes also said that Gates is "methodically
    > diversifying" -- selling off 20 million
    > Microsoft shares a quarter and then reinvesting > the money.

    Great! The rich Bill gets richer ate the expense of defunct TVs, cell phones, cars, wristwatches..
    Dear me, what will be left? Thinking soon there will be viruses for TV, cars will automatically jump bridges, clocks will follow the any time zone 6 hrs and beyond! Thanks to rich Billy!
    What a world is coming! Bill is "methodically extending" his tentacles into every part of our lives (and getting richer!).

  17. Fishing! on State Of The Simputer · · Score: 1

    Give a man a fish and he will have a good meal that day.

    Teach the man how to fish - and he will eat for a lifetime.

    I guess teaching someone how to walk on they own feet, is much better than wheeling them around. A great opportunity is being created - which has the potential to
    1. mass educate people
    2. eradicate poverty
    3. further TRUE democracy (information is power)

    Already the Indian media is far more "fair and balanced" than that in the US. People know more about the "WORLD" there. Now there is a big chance of people knowing much much more - and hopefully correcting the ways of life that hinder the growth of 1.2 billion people.
    Why not support the idea? Is the rest of us afraid?

  18. hacked + crashed on Linux Most Attacked Server? · · Score: 1

    I read that most windows servers just crash after being hacked! So we must take into account small number of hacked (and operating) windows servers AND the large chunk of hacked (and crashed) servers. My windows machine just wouldn't start up after my mbr got overwritted by something (which realtime norton av also couldn't figure out)! So like all those un-counted votes, we have to count the defunct win servers too! Now what's the ratio?

    PS: I keep reinstalling windows every 1 month, my linux (RH) partition is there for the last 1.5 years! Somehow windows knows that there is something else on the system, and tries to crash the entire system - anyone thinks my analysis is correct?

  19. Crash Course on Microsoft to Build High School in Philadelphia, PA · · Score: 1

    Best courses at MS High:

    Win101 - How to crash windows in a blink

    Win201 - Installing windows (Prerequisite: Win105 Deleting other existing OS)

    Win302 - Patching your windows (Prerequisite: Win 202 - Existing in a patched-up-window room) also good eyesight is needed, students are encouraged to bring in candles as there are frequent power failures (why? how the heck should I know what OS they use at the power station?)

    Win305 - Security special: Opening up all available ports to host all the hackers of the world

    Win402 - Recycling code: Using word 97, but showing Word 3001 (way ahead of our times!)

    Win410 - How to make full use of a computer with windows, which won't startup.

    Congratulations! you are now a win-dow graduate.

  20. Re:Blinded By Hate on Microsoft to Build High School in Philadelphia, PA · · Score: 1

    I would like to see the school teach "Open Source 101 - all the good things that can happen". Billy is just disposing the old garbage in MS warehouse. It's like donating the antiquated gas eating pickup vehicle, which would otherwise need $100 to tow away. Benefit - MS gets rid of the junk, MS gets publicity for donating (ahem! junk), school kids get toys which will turn them into better morons. Morons will grow up and buy MS products. Nice going Billy! What a strategy!

  21. bugged for 8 years! on Microsoft Issues Five New Security Warnings · · Score: 1

    MS's website lists security update for MS03-35/36 to be applicable to everything from Word 97 to MS office 2003. So the same bugs that were there in 97 is still there now. My question - "What has changed in MS office 2003, from Word 97?" I'm not buying any more software for my lifetime, considering MS will only change the box and sell me the same thing for another 50 years!

  22. Microsoft's WMD on Microsoft Worms Crash Ohio Nuke Plant, MD Trains · · Score: 3, Funny

    Yeah - the end of the world is near enough. Just give more control of the nuke systems over to windows systems, and behold soon there will be no more windows to worry about. MS Windows:' This world has caused a fatal error. Everything will be terminated'. Press 'OK'.

  23. Re:And why do they want to do this? on Russia Plans Martian Nuclear Station · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Life has been found on Mars - (correction) 'past evidence of highly intelligent life has been found on Mars'. Unbelievable technologies and resources - NASA, ESA, and Russian Space Agencies are all quiet about this - to general public. That's why there's 5 ships enroute to Mars right now, and more are following. Finally manned missions and bases are needed to discover everything. Wake up and look behind the curtains! (there's no harm putting forward theories - we can all discuss it in a warm and friendly atmosphere)

  24. Re:gross national income per capita (GNIPC) on India Plans Moon Mission by 2008 · · Score: 1

    $1 earing per day = Rs 45. Cost of food : Rs 10 (max) Misc : Rs 20 Balance : Rs 15 This doesn't look bad at all as ~ 30% savings!! This estimate is for the lower wage earners. The problem is the US 'PRINTS' money as much as they wish to (the Fed does that, and pays the treasury 4 cents per $) - why, where - go figure? So they can give as much as they like to the wage earners $30 worth of paper per day whose value is actually 120 cents to the Fed. So a person in the US gets 20c more! It's the trust that is put into the dollar whose worth is 25 times more. that 'dollar' bubble is about to burst.

  25. Re:"Hustangladore, we have a problem" on India Plans Moon Mission by 2008 · · Score: 1

    correction: 'had emigrated to the us', there will be a flow back, and lots of outsourcing too - causing you to lose your job. so worry about your livelyhood - not others!