Yes, all hail Betty Pickering! Psst, who the frig is Betty Pickering?
Dude, your dyslexia is showing.
Dylsexia? Oh sorry, I'll put it back in my pants!
"Bangalore, we have a problem..." - "Please describe your problem." - "We are leaking oxygen" - "Try restarting your landing computer"
Doesn't happen till Chandrayan XIII, (as you know) and it actually goes like this:
"Bangalore, we have a problem..."
"Please describe your problem."
"We're leaking oxygen"
"Okay, I am raising an incident number for you, please write this down. 9856134. If a service technician doesn't contact you within twenty four hours, please phone back quoting the incident number."
"But, we're losing oxygen fast! We need assistance NOW!"
"I will put it down as urgent, but our service level agreement did specify a twenty four hour turn around on any problem. If you need assistance badly, you will have to purchase Gold or Platinum support."
"Can you put me through to your manager?"
"I am sorry, he is in a meeting at the moment. You can call back in an hour when he will be available?"
"Okay, I'll purchase the damn platinum support! How much is it?"
"I do not know that answer. I will put you through to the sales team. Please hold. If you get cut off, you can phone back but press option two when you are asked for the department."
CLICK RIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIING CLICK
"Hello, this is the sales department. All our sales technicians are currently busy. You have been put in a priority queue. Your call is important to us, so please hold the line. At present the the waiting time is [Robotic voice] - TWO - HOURS [Human voice],so please stay on the line and a sales technician will be with you shortly."
CLICK BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
[On the spaceship Chandrayan XIII]
"So Captain, what do they say?"
"They say we're gonna die!"
Re:Sounds like a piracy crackdown, not a ban.
on
China Bans 50 Games
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· Score: 1
" Another oxymoronic country name is the "Democratic People's Republic of Korea" - i.e. North Korea."
Depends on the interpretation. The "People" are "Democratic"... not their fault the Government doesn't let them vote!:-)
"I think all lawyers should be contingency lawyers. If for no other reason than it would probably instantly cut in half the number of lawyers working today"
And considerably cut the cases, as a Lawyer won't take on a case they don't think they can win.
Enjoyed your rant very much. Looking forward to the next one... and possible Russell Crowe movie "Lawyerator". The Nobleman, who became a General, who had bad lawyers, and became a slave, who became a gladiator, who became dead. Or did I just romantisize what you wrote about Rome.:-)
Your post reminds me of something which happened to me when I was younger.
I was working in a Textile Lab. to pay my way through Uni. and the Fluoro Light above me was flickering all the time. So, being proactive, I replaced it with a new one. My boss walked in and noticed the light had stopped flickering and asked me if it just stopped on it's own. I told him I had replaced it.
I was informed I was never to do that again, as it was a job for a qualified electrician. According to my boss, I could have been sued if anyone found out. If we had of contacted the electrician though, it would have taken two working days befor he came out to change the light anyway.
Weeks later, when the electrician did come to change some faulty fluoro's which were flashing, he made the comment to me that he didn't know why we couldn't replace those ourselves instead of wasting his time. Not that he cared, because it was all money to him. He just thought we were being lazy.:-)
"I wouldn't be surprised to see the prosecutor drop the case or bring in a grand jury knowing they'll turn it down."
I'm surprised it's got this far. I'm sure it will get thrown out as a matter of "de minimis non curat lex -- the law does not concern itself with trivial matters".
What I don't understand is if the guy who complained was a Lawyer, what was he doing in line? The article clearly states that the Lawyers walk through with their passes liek Kings.
Also, every Lawyer I've met usually tells Lawyer jokes. (And I used to drink at a pub where I knew a LOT of Lawyers, Solicitors and Law Clerks etc)
In fact, the Lawyers I know, know more Lawyer jokes than anyone else I know.
Re:Statistical Lies...
on
Newsy Numbers
·
· Score: 1
" Dont you know that 95% of all statistics are made up?"
That's because 10 out of 9 people don't understand statistics.
Not that it matters, because there are three groups of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't!
Of course, having a maths major, I can't count or do maths unless a Greek letter is involved somewhere!
"I oppose fucking everything. Some things simply were not meant to be fucked"
But people who will F*** everything have an easier chance of getting a date on a Saturday.
Admittedly it is probably with an inanimate object, but who are we to critisize a person who wants to stick their doodle in soemthing... say a vat of acid... um.. ow!!!!
At least it will remove them from the gene pool.:-)
"So that when you get there, there may be 150 Starbuck's franchises, but you own them all."
Welcome to Planet Starbucks Slowboat Colony people.
We have some very good news for you, you are all multi-billionaires.
We also have some bad news. Due to inflation, your multi-billions of dollars are enough to buy yourself one Starbucks coffee.
And for those of you who invested in MacDonalds before you left, unfortunately, it went under after it started pretending to be healthy. After all, what's the point of going ot MacDonalds to buy a Salad. It defeats the purpose of fast junk food. So you are all broke, and now get to work in the only feasible franchise operating on the planet. Starbucks.
The CEO of the planet welcomes both our new slaves.. um, I mean Employees, as well as our new board members. We hope you enjoyed the flight here. For those of you who wish to return to Earth to complain, a FTL ship will be leaving in four minutes. If you miss that one, we have one leaving every half hour.
Thank you for your time. Enjoy the rest of your lives.
To me, it sounds like you are describing the problem between the Jungian Melancholic Person (yourself) and the Jungian Sanguine Person.
I've seen some Sanguine's do some pretty weird stuff in order to draw attention to themselves, which usually results in the Melancholics wanting to strangle them. Sanguines need a group, and need people, which is why they cause and also put up with a lot of crap... and why they think it's important to maintain thier social image. (In this case, "...I don't want anybody to think I'm alone!")
Melancholics tend to be more introverted and don't need a groups approval as much. (Doesn't mean you are 'Anti-social', though I've seen that tag pu ton many a Melancholic). As such, your friends explaination as to why they put up with people would seem incomprehesible to you, while making perfect sense to themselves.
"The shark can rise above the surface to bite someone and then the laser beam may be pointed at an aircraft"
Followed by the possibility that people will start getting arrested just for innocently pointing their sharks at aircraft!!!! Just because the Government will assume a laser is attached.
I think the important question is, can I stick potatoes in my engine and have them fried as chips (aka French Fries to US people) by the time I get home?
Hmmmm... trans-liscious!
I keep whatever little Japanese I have, by making Japanese friends on the internet and talking to them. At present I have four or five Japanese friends I talk to, where I can chuck in the occassional Japanese conversation. They can all speak English.
So, which ever language you want to learn, it might be a good idea to try to meet Native speakers on chat sites etc and get them to teach you.
Having Yahoo with a Microphone and webcam helps too. So I can say thing in Japanese in a Yahoo Conference and crack my Japanese friends up, causing my non-Japanese speaking friends to ask what I said which was so funny.
Many other people I know have learned English this way too. Just hanging out in chatrooms where they speak the language.
Just my two cents, for what it's worth.:-)
Cheers.
Slashdot Mirror
"ALL HAIL PETTY BICKERING!"
Yes, all hail Betty Pickering! Psst, who the frig is Betty Pickering?
Dude, your dyslexia is showing.
Dylsexia? Oh sorry, I'll put it back in my pants!
" I didn't realise that there was life outside Sydney. On all my maps it says "Here be dragons"."
:-)
You kidding me? The entire St George Shire in Sydney has that written on it! (I used to live in Hurstville, so I know!)
"(Shut up you pedants: I know it's a charset issue, but where's the humor in that?)"
:-)
Shouldn't that be:
where?s the humour in that'
Yeah verily, Ye doth believith thou speakith sense. :-)
" Stephen King comes to mind as a human brand. I'm sure he could publish his grocery list and it would sell:"
When does the movie come out, and who is staring in it? Do you have a link to the trailer yet?
"Bangalore, we have a problem..." - "Please describe your problem." - "We are leaking oxygen" - "Try restarting your landing computer"
,so please stay on the line and a sales technician will be with you shortly."
Doesn't happen till Chandrayan XIII, (as you know) and it actually goes like this:
"Bangalore, we have a problem..."
"Please describe your problem."
"We're leaking oxygen"
"Okay, I am raising an incident number for you, please write this down. 9856134. If a service technician doesn't contact you within twenty four hours, please phone back quoting the incident number."
"But, we're losing oxygen fast! We need assistance NOW!"
"I will put it down as urgent, but our service level agreement did specify a twenty four hour turn around on any problem. If you need assistance badly, you will have to purchase Gold or Platinum support."
"Can you put me through to your manager?"
"I am sorry, he is in a meeting at the moment. You can call back in an hour when he will be available?"
"Okay, I'll purchase the damn platinum support! How much is it?"
"I do not know that answer. I will put you through to the sales team. Please hold. If you get cut off, you can phone back but press option two when you are asked for the department."
CLICK RIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIING CLICK
"Hello, this is the sales department. All our sales technicians are currently busy. You have been put in a priority queue. Your call is important to us, so please hold the line. At present the the waiting time is [Robotic voice] - TWO - HOURS [Human voice]
CLICK BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
[On the spaceship Chandrayan XIII]
"So Captain, what do they say?"
"They say we're gonna die!"
" Another oxymoronic country name is the "Democratic People's Republic of Korea" - i.e. North Korea."
... not their fault the Government doesn't let them vote! :-)
Depends on the interpretation. The "People" are "Democratic"
You should have voted for Kudos like the rest of us!
I can think several recent presidents who were not a part of the "illuminati".
I thought Cthulu ate those ones.
Geeks are funny. I laugh at them all the time. (Actually, some of that includes laughing at myself!) D'oh!
"I think all lawyers should be contingency lawyers. If for no other reason than it would probably instantly cut in half the number of lawyers working today"
... and possible Russell Crowe movie "Lawyerator". The Nobleman, who became a General, who had bad lawyers, and became a slave, who became a gladiator, who became dead. Or did I just romantisize what you wrote about Rome. :-)
And considerably cut the cases, as a Lawyer won't take on a case they don't think they can win.
Enjoyed your rant very much. Looking forward to the next one
Your post reminds me of something which happened to me when I was younger. :-)
I was working in a Textile Lab. to pay my way through Uni. and the Fluoro Light above me was flickering all the time. So, being proactive, I replaced it with a new one. My boss walked in and noticed the light had stopped flickering and asked me if it just stopped on it's own. I told him I had replaced it.
I was informed I was never to do that again, as it was a job for a qualified electrician. According to my boss, I could have been sued if anyone found out. If we had of contacted the electrician though, it would have taken two working days befor he came out to change the light anyway.
Weeks later, when the electrician did come to change some faulty fluoro's which were flashing, he made the comment to me that he didn't know why we couldn't replace those ourselves instead of wasting his time. Not that he cared, because it was all money to him. He just thought we were being lazy.
'" not to interfere with the operation of the court." If standing in line making jokes interferes with the courst system, then somethiing is wrong.'
:-)
If it made the anonymous Lawyer cry so much that they forgot the Wookie Defense needed for the trial, then that is a major disruption to the court.
"I wouldn't be surprised to see the prosecutor drop the case or bring in a grand jury knowing they'll turn it down."
I'm surprised it's got this far. I'm sure it will get thrown out as a matter of "de minimis non curat lex -- the law does not concern itself with trivial matters".
What I don't understand is if the guy who complained was a Lawyer, what was he doing in line? The article clearly states that the Lawyers walk through with their passes liek Kings.
Also, every Lawyer I've met usually tells Lawyer jokes. (And I used to drink at a pub where I knew a LOT of Lawyers, Solicitors and Law Clerks etc)
In fact, the Lawyers I know, know more Lawyer jokes than anyone else I know.
" Dont you know that 95% of all statistics are made up?"
That's because 10 out of 9 people don't understand statistics.
Not that it matters, because there are three groups of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't!
Of course, having a maths major, I can't count or do maths unless a Greek letter is involved somewhere!
"I oppose fucking everything. Some things simply were not meant to be fucked"
... say a vat of acid ... um .. ow!!!!
:-)
But people who will F*** everything have an easier chance of getting a date on a Saturday.
Admittedly it is probably with an inanimate object, but who are we to critisize a person who wants to stick their doodle in soemthing
At least it will remove them from the gene pool.
"So that when you get there, there may be 150 Starbuck's franchises, but you own them all."
.. um, I mean Employees, as well as our new board members. We hope you enjoyed the flight here. For those of you who wish to return to Earth to complain, a FTL ship will be leaving in four minutes. If you miss that one, we have one leaving every half hour.
Welcome to Planet Starbucks Slowboat Colony people.
We have some very good news for you, you are all multi-billionaires.
We also have some bad news. Due to inflation, your multi-billions of dollars are enough to buy yourself one Starbucks coffee.
And for those of you who invested in MacDonalds before you left, unfortunately, it went under after it started pretending to be healthy. After all, what's the point of going ot MacDonalds to buy a Salad. It defeats the purpose of fast junk food. So you are all broke, and now get to work in the only feasible franchise operating on the planet. Starbucks.
The CEO of the planet welcomes both our new slaves
Thank you for your time. Enjoy the rest of your lives.
To me, it sounds like you are describing the problem between the Jungian Melancholic Person (yourself) and the Jungian Sanguine Person.
... and why they think it's important to maintain thier social image. (In this case, "...I don't want anybody to think I'm alone!")
I've seen some Sanguine's do some pretty weird stuff in order to draw attention to themselves, which usually results in the Melancholics wanting to strangle them. Sanguines need a group, and need people, which is why they cause and also put up with a lot of crap
Melancholics tend to be more introverted and don't need a groups approval as much. (Doesn't mean you are 'Anti-social', though I've seen that tag pu ton many a Melancholic). As such, your friends explaination as to why they put up with people would seem incomprehesible to you, while making perfect sense to themselves.
Just my two cents. Hope it is useful.
CHeers.
"The shark can rise above the surface to bite someone and then the laser beam may be pointed at an aircraft"
Followed by the possibility that people will start getting arrested just for innocently pointing their sharks at aircraft!!!! Just because the Government will assume a laser is attached.
" I can't believe that this isn't even common sense for a lot of people."
The problem with common sense, is it isn't that common.
I didn't click the "I'm feeling Lucky" button because I went to Google via the tool bar in Firefox ... and this was the second page.
p ic-frenchmilitaryvictories.htm
:-)
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/bl
"Oh, and Horsa Hedd really was the first person to enter the Horsehead Nebula. :)"
... or am I just getting confused with an old screen actress and mistyping her last name!?
Darn, and I thought that was Heddy LaMare
Baka Dabido!!!!
I think the important question is, can I stick potatoes in my engine and have them fried as chips (aka French Fries to US people) by the time I get home? Hmmmm ... trans-liscious!
I keep whatever little Japanese I have, by making Japanese friends on the internet and talking to them. At present I have four or five Japanese friends I talk to, where I can chuck in the occassional Japanese conversation. They can all speak English. So, which ever language you want to learn, it might be a good idea to try to meet Native speakers on chat sites etc and get them to teach you. Having Yahoo with a Microphone and webcam helps too. So I can say thing in Japanese in a Yahoo Conference and crack my Japanese friends up, causing my non-Japanese speaking friends to ask what I said which was so funny. Many other people I know have learned English this way too. Just hanging out in chatrooms where they speak the language. Just my two cents, for what it's worth. :-)
Cheers.
I would still be safe. I heard they don't touch junk food! :-)