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User: Ukab+the+Great

Ukab+the+Great's activity in the archive.

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  1. Microsoft Kin on Microsoft Seeks Patent On 'Quieting Mobile Devices' · · Score: 1

    Was the quietest mobile device in history. I've never heard one being used.

  2. Re: Go to the Doctor... on First Asteroid Discovered At Uranus's Leading Trojan Point · · Score: 1

    I'm guessing there would be a lot of uncomfortable probing with a sonic screwdriver and then he'd tell you Uranus has hosted quite a few unshielded Cybermen in the last couple of months.

  3. Lobachevsky on Romanian Science In Freefall · · Score: 1

    How about Tom Lehrer's Lobachevsky>

  4. Mandatory Pickup Line Joke on We All May Have a Little Martian In Us · · Score: 1

    Dude: "Hey baby, do you have a little Martian in you".
    Girl: "No".
    Dude: "Want one?"

  5. Cross Country Skiing on Canadian Military Developing Stealth Snowmobile · · Score: 1

    has been used for arctic warfare for hundreds of years as a cheap, effective way of stealthily moving a snowy environment. Hopefully the stealth sled won't ruin those capabilities.

  6. No crossing state lines with textbooks. on Amazon Forbids Crossing State Lines With Rented Textbooks · · Score: 4, Funny

    Unless the textbook is 18-years old. Allowances will be made if you're only two or three years younger than the textbook.

  7. Excess Posting Of Comments To Slashdot on Excess Coffee May Be Linked To Early Death · · Score: 1

    "has been linked to an early d....ACK, GAG" (thud).

  8. If you want to serve your country in campaigns on Soldiers Looking For Hookups On Craigslist Are Being Warned of a Military Sting · · Score: 2

    where sleazy Internet hookups are tolerated, then join Congress.

  9. Screw Game Of Thrones on First Batch of Libreplanet 2013 Videos Released, Hosted Using Mediagoblin · · Score: 0

    I am so going to pirate those videos!

  10. Now that I have SHIELD's OS on NVIDIA Open Sources SHIELD's Operating System · · Score: 1

    I just have to find the time to 3D-print my own helicarrier.

  11. My definition of leadership on Ask Slashdot: Is Development Leadership Overvalued? · · Score: 1

    Leadership is about being able to obtain power to make the decision, the art of making the decision, and either through admiration or intimidation getting others to follow your in that decision. Is it about getting yourself to the forefront of a large band of lemmings and being able to, if you so choose, getting them to follow your straight off the cliff.

    Whether your decisions are good or not is fucking irrelevant.

  12. So The Best Answer You Can Give Them Is on Ask Slashdot: Is Development Leadership Overvalued? · · Score: 1

    I have not yet been promoted to my full level of incompetence.

  13. Hot or Not for cities on MIT's "Hot Or Not" Site For Neighborhoods Could Help Shape Cities · · Score: 1

    Just the other day I told Detroit that I didn't want to ruin my special friendship with her by moving into her while I simultaneously eyebanged the unattainably hot San Francisco and consoled myself with the knowledge that she's high maintenance and her wild living will make her look especially butt ugly fifty years from now.

  14. Eliphinos on Ohio Zoo Attempts To Mate Female Rhino With Her Brother For Species Survival · · Score: 3, Funny

    Can be the backup plan if incest doesn't work. The only disadvantage would be that a viable eliphino would make the joke less funny.

  15. My cellphone smells like R. Kelly's sheets on Cell Phone Powered By Urine · · Score: 1

    But, shit, it lasted for 99 hours.

  16. 3 words on Describe Any Location On Earth In 3 Words · · Score: 1

    Location, location, location.

  17. Just when you got the virus problem licked on Wood Nanobattery Could Be Green Option For Large-Scale Energy Storage · · Score: 2, Funny

    Now your laptop can be infested with termites and attract hungry chimps.

  18. Re:spectacular ... not on Mars Curiosity Rover Shoots Video of Phobos Moon Rising · · Score: 2

    It's only a model.

  19. Princess Bride on Revelations On the French Big Brother · · Score: 1

    "Sacre bleu. You are trying to unlawfully obtain the data we have rightfully stolen!"

  20. Touch Typing on Man Campaigns For Addition of 'Th' Key To Keyboard · · Score: 3, Insightful

    He should really campaign for touch typing literacy first. Someone having to switch back and forth between looking at their screen and their keyboard will slow them down far more than a few extra keystrokes.

  21. Irony Of Yoda As An Example on Breaking Up With MakerBot · · Score: 1

    Yoda: Print me they can not; this generation has no patience.
    Diembodied Obi-Wan Voice: They will learn patience.

  22. Re:Reorg on Steve Ballmer Replaces Don Mattrick As Xbox One Chief · · Score: 1

    That's certainly something that a sane, logical, and rational human being who puts the well-being of his company ahead of management politics would do.

    Child posts are free to add the punchline.

  23. Clinton's Law on Boston Marathon Bomber Charged With Using 'Weapon of Mass Destruction' · · Score: 1

    As an online discussion of different legal definitions of illicit human behavior grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, and the definition of "sex" approaches 1. When such an event occurs, the person guilty of invoking Clinton's Law has effectively forfieted the argument.

  24. The super smart exascale computer on Fear of Thinking War Machines May Push U.S. To Exascale · · Score: 1

    Will do an unprecedented number of super-fast calculations and spit out the answer that our greatest threats are home-grown American software engineers becoming an endangered species due to offshoring/H1B, and that most of our computers that we would rely on in a war with China would made in China. It would go on to conclude that building super-fast computers is waste of money if these simple problems aren't solved first.

  25. It'd about time Republicans on U.S. House Wants 'Sustained Human Presence On the Moon and the Surface of Mars' · · Score: 1

    Adopted a slightly more realistic climate change position.