My dad has a nice big collection of gramophone records that were a major part of my kid years, especially once I discovered our record players we had in the 70s and 80s could play 78s.
In fact, total dork that I was and am, some of the first things I copied when I got my bedroom component stereo one Christmas were some of his old records; specifically the Runaway Train and the Bum song. And not long after, my best friend produced a 78 from his grandma's collection of The Rocky Road to Dublin. Can't remember who performed it though. Still have the song, since we found one of his old cassette letters like we used to exchange back and forth that still had it. It has since been turned into an mp3 that I know I have on a hard drive or archive disc somewhere.
Meantime, I have the High Kings cover of it on my phone's playlist for my 4:20 walks to the post office.:D
It would be difficult to write such a comic though that wouldn't fall into one of three traps: Preachy, Blasphemous, or Boring.
It would be hard to write one that didn't fall in to all three of those.
South Park managed to pull it off without falling into any of those three through the Super Best Friends. Nope, not blasphemous either; since you have to be religious to be able to commit blasphemy, due to it being a religious law and not secular.
Remember, these are the same cocksuckers who fought tooth and nail (and failed) to prevent National Guard and Reserve personnel from getting full Commissary access instead of 12 visits per year. Fuck, if I remember right, they fought the increase from 12 to 24 visits even.
I honestly can't recall for certain, since that was such a long time ago and much of my former religious life is a big blur; but with some of the services I had to sit though, it seemed like the preacher was going on for hours on end. Then again, that could just be due to the Theory of Kid Time Relativity, where the younger you are; the slower time appears to move.
How about imagining instead someone suddenly speaking out in tongues, and Alexa then "interpreting" the so called message. That has a lot of great church trolling potential...
On that note, I am finding myself wondering where in the galaxy Jesus should be at this time. According to the New Testament, he ascended to Heaven, I believe from the Mount of Olives. So assuming it was a straight trajectory, where would he be located now if he managed to reach solar escape velocity?
Of course, he would be traveling forever, since we now know the universe is by and large infinite, and there is no glass dome over the earth, above which would have otherwise been Heaven.
Heck, if he didn't reach escape velocity, then he would likely have entered into a long period orbit much like a comet. In which case, his second coming would likely be unlike how his followers imagined. In other words, he would return as an icy corpse that would either burn up in the atmosphere, or would be flung back out into the outer reaches of the solar system.:D
If only Carl Sagan were still around to engage in such a thought experiment...
Yet the only ones to explore the outer reaches of the solar system, walk on the moon, and when you get right down to it; did a lot to make this planet a genuinely comfortable place to call home, and not the feral hellhole that wants to kill you at every turn that it used to be.
My best guess on that regard is that those were the times the writers for The Onion were smoking the really good shit, like whatever futurists such as Arthur C. Clarke, George Orwell, Carl Sagan, etc. hit.
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My dad has a nice big collection of gramophone records that were a major part of my kid years, especially once I discovered our record players we had in the 70s and 80s could play 78s.
In fact, total dork that I was and am, some of the first things I copied when I got my bedroom component stereo one Christmas were some of his old records; specifically the Runaway Train and the Bum song. And not long after, my best friend produced a 78 from his grandma's collection of The Rocky Road to Dublin. Can't remember who performed it though. Still have the song, since we found one of his old cassette letters like we used to exchange back and forth that still had it. It has since been turned into an mp3 that I know I have on a hard drive or archive disc somewhere.
Meantime, I have the High Kings cover of it on my phone's playlist for my 4:20 walks to the post office. :D
The only format where songs often had to be split into 2 parts.
Followed by Quagmire in another window, "Alllllright! Giggity giggity!"
I believe is was the wise man known as Steven Wright who said it best...
"(mumblemumble...) No matter what temperature it is, it's always room temperature."
Shoe laces of the world, untie!!!
And I for one was also not expecting some random AC to totally miss the obvious and obligatory Spanish Inquisition cue.
There are 10 types of people in the world; those who masturbate, and those who lie about it. I have no idea who the other 8 are.
Let me know when the Christians try to murder everyone involved...
The Crusades?
Or the Spanish Inquisition.
Well, I for one certainly was not expecting that...
But you have to look away while he is doing the transformation.
His main super power is self resurrection.
Now come, Swallow!
It would be difficult to write such a comic though that wouldn't fall into one of three traps:
Preachy,
Blasphemous,
or Boring.
It would be hard to write one that didn't fall in to all three of those.
South Park managed to pull it off without falling into any of those three through the Super Best Friends. Nope, not blasphemous either; since you have to be religious to be able to commit blasphemy, due to it being a religious law and not secular.
Or was Seaman blasphemy against poor Aquaman?
Remember, these are the same cocksuckers who fought tooth and nail (and failed) to prevent National Guard and Reserve personnel from getting full Commissary access instead of 12 visits per year. Fuck, if I remember right, they fought the increase from 12 to 24 visits even.
I have no sympathy for these fuckers.
And then you accidentally look at the wrong sentence on the wrong page, and discover that you died from a poison needle trap.
I think that falls under Page 27, Paragraph 12; the Tough Shit Clause, which is cross referenced with page 98, Paragraph 3; the Tough Titty Addendum.
It is clearly there in light gray and white.
I honestly can't recall for certain, since that was such a long time ago and much of my former religious life is a big blur; but with some of the services I had to sit though, it seemed like the preacher was going on for hours on end. Then again, that could just be due to the Theory of Kid Time Relativity, where the younger you are; the slower time appears to move.
How about imagining instead someone suddenly speaking out in tongues, and Alexa then "interpreting" the so called message. That has a lot of great church trolling potential...
On that note, I am finding myself wondering where in the galaxy Jesus should be at this time. According to the New Testament, he ascended to Heaven, I believe from the Mount of Olives. So assuming it was a straight trajectory, where would he be located now if he managed to reach solar escape velocity?
Of course, he would be traveling forever, since we now know the universe is by and large infinite, and there is no glass dome over the earth, above which would have otherwise been Heaven.
Heck, if he didn't reach escape velocity, then he would likely have entered into a long period orbit much like a comet. In which case, his second coming would likely be unlike how his followers imagined. In other words, he would return as an icy corpse that would either burn up in the atmosphere, or would be flung back out into the outer reaches of the solar system. :D
If only Carl Sagan were still around to engage in such a thought experiment...
Don't forget to bang the belle...er...bell as well (giggity)
And speaking of which, a new Sandman post is up. Time for a listen while working on today's Etsy, eCrater, and eBay listings.
Can you imagine an entire 2 hour sermon being read in one of those annoying text to speech voices?
Alexa, please play the hymn, In the Garden of Eden by I. Ron Butterfly.
Also add tittychips and bloody tampon boogers to my shopping list.
I can honestly say that the only drug weed is a gateway to is diet pills. And even that seems debatable.
Sounds like your god is a total dick of a shitlord troll that should be shunned and avoided at all costs.
Yet the only ones to explore the outer reaches of the solar system, walk on the moon, and when you get right down to it; did a lot to make this planet a genuinely comfortable place to call home, and not the feral hellhole that wants to kill you at every turn that it used to be.
I thought China's massive population was explained years ago in a book by the wise sage, Wi Fuckem Young.
My best guess on that regard is that those were the times the writers for The Onion were smoking the really good shit, like whatever futurists such as Arthur C. Clarke, George Orwell, Carl Sagan, etc. hit.
Can we name one of them Felonium? That way, we can show that even the realm of physics has (puts on shades) a criminal element.
Perhaps they have an evil, misguided plan to try to extort Slackware over the name; and need the cash boost from selling stock.