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User: kpainter

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Comments · 359

  1. In other news... on Turns Out You Actually Can Be Bored To Death · · Score: 4, Funny

    As study is underway to see if you really can "Freeze your ass off".

  2. Failure is relative to your perspective on A Reflection On Sun Executive Payouts For Failure · · Score: 1

    I doubt that Sun's executives do not feel like they have failed at all. I would assume the CEO's resume will make a big deal about successfully overseeing the acquisition. This seems to be the mentality of senior management in the mega corporations.

  3. Re:Or its all in our head on Why Time Flies By As You Get Older · · Score: 1

    I dunno, I think I'm getting older because I swear that audio sounded more like 6 minutes...

    It was 6 fucking minutes. Kids these days can't tell time for shit.

  4. Re:Cue the morons on What To Expect From Windows 7 SP1 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Win2K SP9

  5. Re:Because obscurity... on TSA Subpoenas Bloggers Over New Security Directive · · Score: 4, Funny

    The next phase in the TSA idiocracy will require passengers to perform a #1 (pee) and a #2 (poop), with proof, before boarding a flight to prevent potential liquids and solids of terror being brought on board.

    This will dovetail nicely with the current policy. This way, you won't need to go to the bathroom in the last hour of the flight. Its a win-win!

  6. Re:ok what? on $860 Million In Fines Handed Out For LCD Price-Fixing · · Score: 4, Insightful

    You forgot the part where the wronged consumers get justice in the form of a $2 class action settlement check.

    YOU forgot the part where the wronged consumers get a coupon worth $2 off on their next purchase as their settlement.

  7. Re:Herpes? on Google CEO Says Privacy Worries Are For Wrongdoers · · Score: 3, Funny

    Herpes is not a crime, but I bet if you had it you would want to keep that fact private.

    It is if your girlfriend doesn't know about it.

  8. Re:System Registry on Black Screen of Death Not Microsoft's Fault · · Score: 1

    "What do you want them to replace it with?"

    Two registries. Number 1 for the system settings. Locked down. Number 2 for apps. This also makes it backwards compatible.

    Are you saying "two wrongs make a right"?

  9. Re:Really? on What Does Google Suggest Suggest About Humanity? · · Score: 1

    Now my curiosity is piqued. WHY can't I own a Canadian? Or at least lease one for a year?

    Because after a while you would end every sentence with "Ay". That's why.

  10. Re:Who cares... on How Terahertz Waves Tear Apart DNA · · Score: 1

    ...turn into an entire country of genetically deformed freaks...

    Sounds like this could be weaponized. Such a weapon could give the phrase "Tear you a new asshole" a sense of literalism.

  11. Re:Lenovo on Who Installs the Most Crapware? · · Score: 1

    No, I'd say iTunes/Quicktime and Acrobat are, in fact, crap.

    Depends.

    No, Depends hold crap.

  12. Ads.. on Decline In US Newspaper Readership Accelerates · · Score: 1

    "Ads on newspaper Internet sites sell for pennies on the dollar compared with ads in their ink-on-paper cousins"
    Why is that? If I PAY to subscribe to the newspaper, why should it be loaded with ads at all? My local paper has almost nothing worth reading in it. A bunch of AP articles, used as filler, that I can read for free online now and a boatload of ads. Very little useful local content. No wonder they are all failing.

  13. This makes perfect sense on CIA Invests In Firm That Datamines Social Networks · · Score: 0

    Without this new capability, this little gem would have went by completely unnoticed on Facebook:
    "Achmed sent Bob a suicide bomb".
    When they looked at Achmed's profile, it said on the front page:
    "Achmed joined Al Qaida".
    Ah-ha! Gotcha

  14. If CARB wants us to save fuel.. on Car Glass Rules Could Impair Cell, GPS and Radio Signals In CA · · Score: 1

    They would get rid of Ethanol. My mileage is always better when I fill up in Nevada.

  15. Re:Your might think it's unimportant. on GPS Receiver Noise Can Be Used To Detect Snow Depth · · Score: 1

    All jokes aside, the western US and Canada are completely reliant on snow pack for water supply. No snow, and you have severe drought.

    Exactly. With this knowledge, you can know you have a severe drought. That is obviously much better than not knowing you have a severe drought.

  16. Re:Waste of energy on Large-Scale Mac Deployment? · · Score: 1

    a b c 3 4 5. New math?

  17. In other news... on Bullet-Proof Sheets of Carbon Nanotubes · · Score: 1

    Nanocomp Technologies announces that their new nanotube technology is being applied to solve the "Sheryl Crow one square of toilet paper" problem.
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6583067.stm
    Specifically, the technology is intended to address "those pesky occasions where two to three could be required".

  18. Re:Obligatory Bogus First Post ... on In Britain, Better Not Call It Bogus Science · · Score: 1

    "...any statement made is assumed to be false unless you prove it's true."

    I am lying and that's the truth.

  19. Ebay has sucked for a long time on eBay Denies New Design Is Broken, Blames Users · · Score: 1

    I used to be able to use Firefox. Then, only IE would work. That is when I quit using eBay. Who cares what they do anymore. Fuck 'em.

  20. Re:Wow. on IBM Patents Tweeting Remote Control · · Score: 4, Funny

    Mine's at home learning Perl right now.

    Women and Perl are a lot alike. You can't figure out how women work either.

  21. Re:I don't get it.. on The Orange Goo That Could Save Your Laptop · · Score: 1

    Whoosh!!

  22. In other news... on The Orange Goo That Could Save Your Laptop · · Score: 4, Funny

    Microsoft announces that Steve Balmer is getting his office redecorated. All the furnishings are to be coated with a new high-tech orange "goo". No reason was given as to why.

  23. Re:I don't get it.. on The Orange Goo That Could Save Your Laptop · · Score: 4, Funny

    Similar in principle (in vague terms) to how the bonnet of a car (hood to USA people) is designed to crumple so that it absorbs the energy of a crash.

    I always assumed that the reason for the crumple was to maximize the cost of repair ultimately necessitating the purchase of a new vehicle.

  24. Re:Copying files on Homeland Security Changes Laptop Search Policy · · Score: 5, Funny

    1. You are not an American.
    3. You have "trade secrets" that can give American companies a competitive advantage.

    2. Classified

  25. Re:Well that sounds reasonable on Homeland Security Changes Laptop Search Policy · · Score: 1

    It's our right as citizens to be secure. If your papers (computer) is dangerous, it is reasonable to seize it./quote. I want to be secure from people who think like you.