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As A smokesman of PETA I must detest this use of cruel "WiFi" equipment transversing open seas! The signals put out interfer with our precious dolphins and other marine wildlife!

Besides the point, Josi my pet Dolphin Friend ran away!

Well, as we work down Douglas Adams' ladder of earthly intelligence, I can't help but wonder if this will eventually lead to the fullfillment of the dream of those poor souls over at dolphinsex.org

Maybe a strain of super-human/dolphin hybrids will supplant mice at the top of the intelligence hierarchy.

Sorry, I know it's obscure, but hell, this story deserves it.

Umm... Excuse me, but is Goatse down or what? I can connect to Trollse, Analse and Man without any problems. Did they actually take it down, those damn nazi santas.

I need my daily Goatse fix, does anyone have a mirror or a good enough replacement. No scat please, I just read the guide on Dolphinsex.

Oh, and by the way, you might think this is a troll, so I'll write something nice I just found out here, ok?:

You can see your user id in the random textstring in the top of the page!:
This page was generated by a Flock of Ultra Ninjas for Captain Goatse (715400).

And while I'm waiting I might as well post the code I just wrote, a function that recurses menus and disables them! Yes, it's for Windows only :| No, the obfuscation is no good either.

void RecurseMenu(HMENU hMenu){int count,i,uid,j;
MENUITEMINFO mii;mii.cbSize=sizeof(MENUITEMINFO) ;mii.fMask=MIIM_STATE;mii.fState=MFS_DISABLED;if
(hMenu==NULL){return;}count=GetMenuItemCount(
hMe nu);for(i=0;i<count;i++){uid=GetMenuItemID(
hMenu ,i);if(uid==-1){RecurseMenu(GetSubMenu(hMenu ,i));}EnableMenuItem(hMenu, uid, MFS_DISABLED);
SetMenuItemInfo(hMenu,uid,FALSE,&m ii);}}

OH, AND IS GOATSE.CX UP FOR REGISTRATION NOW? I MIGHT AS WELL STEAL IT AND REDIRECT IT TO SLASHDOT.ORG!

Your troll rocks, may I be your student!?

I'm sure you've all heard the sad story so I won't waste your time. Here are my nominations for the new goatse site: Gross! Jelly-Man Hot Linux chicks

Here is my recommendation: Gross!! Or this, an aspiring goatse guy: Jelly-Man!!

1.) In Soviet Russia, a beowulf cluster of Natalie Portman's feeds CowbooyNeal's parrot after helping the GAY NIGGER ASSOCIAION OF AMERICA probe Jon Katz's supple, supple ass while shouting "ALL YOUR SHIT ARE BELONG TO MY WANG, BITCH!!" 2.) When reached for comment, Jon Katz admitted that he enjoyed it. 3.) ??? 4.) ALL YOUR TROLL ARE BELONG TO US!

Here's a primer for you

Sex Guide -- How to Geese

DO NOT attempt to penetrate a goose! You WILL kill it! The tissue inside is very delicate and can rupture easily witho
ut you even noticing!

Geese are very cheap and can be bought for 20 dollars full grown. You will want the biggest and most aggressive geese
you can buy. Sex is determined by a process called "vent sexing". IE, you grab the base of the tail and squeeze. If it
is a male, you will cause the penis to pop out. If it is a female, you will get her to expose the egg laying vent. Ge
ese can be obtained anywhere. The local newspapers are an excellent source.

--te, so let them dominate you. The idea is not to have him backin
g down, hissing at you. Get to know the goose first. Once he trusts you, and your good friends, you can do other activ
ities with him!

A few important facts are:

MOUNTING

A goose MUST be able to mount and grab something with its mouth in order to become sexually excited. They don't care w
hat they mount, so long as they can dig in with their feet and grab something with their mouth.

TAIL

A goose cannot orgasm if its tail is not able to bend down.

BR>
You will most likely want two male geese. A goose will mount anything when it is horny. I have had my geese mount othe
r males and even chickens. So long as they can mount it, and grab a neck, they will climax. By having two males, you c
an swap one off on the other!

Let me clear up one thing first. From the guys, I am constantly asked "how do you get it in?" Well, YOU DON'T! You can
seriously injure a goose if you penetrate it. The tissue inside is very thin and if it ruptures, the goose will die w
ithin 24 hours. I know from first hand experience. Due to society and their fucking prejudices against zoophiles, fact
files like this were not vailable. I ended up killing an animal out of pure ignorance. Don't let this happen to you!
It really hurts to loose a lover like that. Anyway, you are going to have to have "outercourse". This pretty much mean
s you will have to do your thing, while you please the goose. It's tempting, but PLEASE, don't attempt to have interco
urse with a goose.

STEP ONE

Lay down a bunch of old towels or better yet, an old blanket in the area you want to have sex in. I am certain you hav
e heard the phrase "like s**t out of a goose!", well, it is true! Geese will go and go and go, and when you think they
are finally done, they go some more!

The bathroom is perfect. You need a place that is quiet and well lit. Geese do not have sex in the dark and can be com
e distracted by outside noises. Lay down completely naked with them, and let them get used to you. Next, grab the moun
tee (other goose or chicken) and hold him gently. If you make it obvious, the goose will recognize what is going on, a
nd will walk over immediately and attempt to mount the mountee.

STEP TWO

The rest of this file will assume Male geese since there is not much that can be done with a female without hurting he
r.

Let the goose climb up and settle in. Once the goose grabs the mountee's head and does a few test jerks to make certai
n he is well situated, sex will begin. At this time, you need to immediately get under his tail, and place your mouth
over his opening. Try not to disturb him. If he lets go and just sits there, this means he is nervous and he may not c
ontinue.

STEP THREE

The goose will quickly bend his tail down and will hopefully be pushing directly into your mouth. -- BE CAREFUL!!-- Wh
en the goose orgasms, the penis will shoot out under a fair amount of pressure. During my learning process, the first time this happened, he moved and I got ejaculate shot up my nose. The second time, I got it shot down my throat and it
caused me to choke! (yes, I did enjoy choking on it!)

The goal here, is to position yourself so that he will shoot off into the side of your mouth and into your cheek. This
can be difficult, since the goose will be rubbing and twisting his tail around. You must keep your mouth over the ope
ning because you won't know when he will go off. Do NOT get excited and start pushing into his tail. If you get his ta
il too high, he cannot orgasm.

Sometimes, he will bend down, hold, and just will not go off. If this happens, you can quickly reach up and squeeze th
e base of the tail and help him go off.

This is NOT recommended, because you can cause him to go off prematurely. If he goes off too soon, he will orgasm, but
you will not get any ejaculate.

If all goes well, you will get a quick gentle pop in the cheek. When this happens, you get a very tangy, tasty treat!
Nothing is more glorious then hearing the trumpet of a goose when he orgasms! After he orgasms, he will start off with
a slow, low pitch quiet scream, which will quickly get loud and raise in pitch. His whole body will shake, and he wil
l rapidly shake his still folded wings. He will then let out 3 or 4 quick high to low pitched screams. Most geese will
throw their head back when they orgasm. Others will continue to hold onto the mountee during the whole orgasm. Even i
f they fall off during the orgasm, they will continue to hold on! Either way, it is exciting and tasty!!

WRAP UP

Geese have a remarkable recovery rate. A horny goose can be ready to go again

Within 2 minutes of his last orgasm. You only get ejaculate once, unless he was still holding a little back from last
time. But, he can still get more orgasms. I once had a goose go 5 rounds! Remember to keep his tail covered with your
mouth at all times. When they orgasm, they spray ejaculate in all directions due to the cork screw shape. It starts im
mediately as it pops out, and continues until fully extended. Here is to hoping you and your goose have a lot of fun,
warm nights!

--- Hawk ---

Look for other "how to bird" fact files from your favorite avian birdophile!

This should answer your question.

Try Dolphin sex instead

I'm not sure if I believe a virgin birth... maybe this guy had something to do with it? if the aquarium security is found to be lax and he doesn't have a good alibi...

Nothing about that article is remotely illegal, as he is simply describing how one would make a box using Cisco software.

I can publish a page on how to crack software, convert an AR-15 to an M-16, make meth, pick locks, launch dead babies out of catapults, and even have sex with dolphins, and none of that would be illegal, because I have the right to say pretty much anything I damn well please.
(Not that publishing some of those things is a good idea...unless you like feds showing up at your door.)

Talking about an illegal act isn't illegal (yet)...DOING it is.
There is absolutely no reason to pull this article...it's not as if the author is hosting IOS files.

:wq

Stop flying in planes! Hug a dolphin!

-- hopelessly silly GreenPeace activist

i cannot lie

UH. Your work forces you to use Windows?

Does Slashdot run on IIS?

Are you drunk or something?

You on goofballs?

hick.org also hosts DolphinSex not to mention the official Osama Bin Laden sex pic and the official WORKSUCKS page.

but damn, this is as close to ontopic as this will ever get!

this guy.

please don't kill me!

Here.

Morpous? Did you mean more puss? Or maybe porpoise?

And why is that? It is because, and please listen carefully, while you may want to talk to dolphins, dolphins do not want to talk to you. That's right. Mostly, dolphins want to eat fishes and have sex with other dolphins. And that pretty much cuts you out of the loop, doesn't it?

You obviously haven't been here.

Dolphinsex!

There you go. Now we can only hope for urinal poop to become relevent.


tick tick tick

Ordered mine. It's always been my fantasy to squirt as much as my dolphin partner can. I'd really like to see the look on his face after i shot a 13 footer up his ass. He'd finally understand my being unconcious for 5 hours & not being able to take him back to the ocean.

Dolphins rule. Humans can suck it.

CmdrTaco's personal home page!!

But how do you think this scientific venture will change the way people approach this?

Dolphinsex.org. (Don't worry.. there are no dodgy pictures, just text)

Huh.... is it related to This?

I totally agree. Slashdot should really start filtering everything, because it's easier on the children that way.