At Long Last, Mice Produce Sperm From Monkeys

Hoon Mihn Fao writes "The BBC Reports: 'Mice have been used to produce viable monkey sperm using tissue transplanted from the testes of macaques. The U.S. scientists involved say their work might one day help to conserve animals that are facing extinction.'"

Comments

Just think...

[p4ul13]

...how surprised the mouse on the recieving end of this will be when she gives birth to a monkey.

Jokes.... tooo many!! can't take it

[GOD_ALMIGHTY]

My brain is overloaded.... hard to resist the many many bad jokes.
Must hit submit quick!

Re:Jokes.... tooo many!! can't take it

[blamanj]

Clearly the Python insult "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries" is closer to becoming s statement of fact.

Re:Jokes.... tooo many!! can't take it

[real_smiff]

well... are you going to tell us any?

Re:Jokes.... tooo many!! can't take it

[flewp]

Not to mention "Shyeah, right, and monkeys might fly out of my butt!"

Well..

[Izanagi]

About bloody time! Took them long enough, sheesh.

Wow! Look at them go!

[TrebleJunkie]

...Those mice are f*cking like monk-- oh, wait.

there is a very viable

[falcon5768]

porno site idea in relation to this link, but I would be DAMNED if I do anything about it.

Phew ...

[Anonymous Coward]

Phew, that means Darl can take a little break ...

Could this mean....

[HotNeedleOfInquiry]

That mice could produce sperm from Katz?

Re:Could this mean....

[real_smiff]

and manage to impregnate them? some endangered species of wild cat? woah, i don't want to be the mouse with that job.

Re:Could this mean....

[Anonymous Coward]

That one's really good, but I fear a lot of people won't understand it.

Re:Could this mean....

[HotNeedleOfInquiry]

Agreed. It's been a bitch of a day for a karma whore.

whoa ... phew!!

[blandthrax]

For a minute there I thought it said "spam from monkeys."

And the understatement of the year award

[eclectro]

goes to this statement;

It might also be possible to grow human sperm in mice, although the team agree this would be a controversial move.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Re:And the understatement of the year award

[cjpez]

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Says YOU.

Re:And the understatement of the year award

[lindsayt]

But what I wonder is, why is it controversial to grow human sperm in mice, but it's not controversial to grow monkey sperm in mice?!?!?

Call me old-fashioned, but I tend to think that if it's a bad idea to be doing GE on humans then it's probably a bad idea on animals too. If it's okay on animals, it's okay on humans. After all, we're all part of the same evolutionary closed-cycle system, and if we f*ck things up for the animals around us we're f*cked too.

Also, I hate PETA as much as the next person (Unless it stands for People Eating Tasty Animals) but if we think GE is somehow cruel and horrible for humans, why exactly is it not cruel and horrible for monkeys?

Re:And the understatement of the year award

[eclectro]

But what I wonder is, why is it controversial to grow human sperm in mice, but it's not controversial to grow monkey sperm in mice?!?!?

The problem I primarily have is having to tell some kid that his biological father was a mouse.

Imagine the kind of brain fsck you would be handing the kid.

At least in THX1138 everybody came from the same set of jars.

Re:And the understatement of the year award

[Eccles]

The problem I primarily have is having to tell some kid that his biological father was a mouse.

"Are you a man or a mouse?"

"Umm..."

Re:And the understatement of the year award

[matzim]

But what I wonder is, why is it controversial to grow human sperm in mice, but it's not controversial to grow monkey sperm in mice?!?!?

Didn't the OP say the motivation behind the research was to protect against extinction? The means may be perceived as cruel and horrible, but if it preserves an species that would otherwise be lost, the end is not. In any case, the motivations for doing GE on humans are different than the ones they mention here. It's not like we're very close to extinction...

(Though I suspect that depends who you ask).

Re:And the understatement of the year award

[JanneM]

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

And just because you shouldn't, doesn't mean you won't.

History of humanity, really - poking into stuff you'd better leave alone, wondering what will happen.

Re:And the understatement of the year award

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes

Re:And the understatement of the year award

[FroMan]

So, are you claimin cannibalism is a good idea?

After all, if we are no different from animals when it comes to genetic testing, why would eating tastey people be any different? That would be a logical step from your point.

Otherwise, people and animals are different and you have to admit as such. So since we are different we can eat animals and test on animals.

Re:And the understatement of the year award

[lindsayt]

All carnivores eat other animals; very few eat their own kind. It *IS* of course a *very* bad idea for humans to eat monkeys and other primates because we are so closely related to them and diseases and other problems can spread rapidly among such species of the same family. So, unless you think eating monkey brains is a good idea, your point is not correct.

Furthermore, in nature as a general rule flora do not eat anything; herbivore fauna eat flora and no other fauna; and carnivore fauna eat herbivore fauna and nothing else. With few exceptions, no animal eats carnivore fauna for nutrition. This is the primary reason why as a general rule nothing eats cats, dogs, or humans (we are the only carnivores/omnivores in the primate family, I believe).

Cannibalism, and similarly the consumption of other primates, is a bad idea for disease reasons; from a nutrition standpoint (the *primary* reason an animal eats, unless it's wealthy and living in a developed country) there's really nothing wrong with eating any animal, even homo sapiens, though of course carnivore meat is both less nutritious and more disease-prone than herbivore meat.

So, human flesh is essentially just the meat with the highest level of evolutionary risk for humans to eat: like primate meat (which we generally do not eat) it carries genetic diseases that can afflict us; and like cat or dog meat (which we also *generally* don't eat - I know there are exceptions) it is not very nutritious *and* is much more disease-ridden than herbivore meat. So, if you claim that human meat is the *only* meat that's off limits, and you think the *only* reason we don't eat humans is the social taboo against such behavior, then of course you're right - my argument doesn't hold up. However, if you recognize the vast array of meats that are unsafe for human consumption and the great combination of reasons why eating human flesh is dangerous, leaving behind the social taboo, then you'll see that in fact that genetic engineering and meat consumption, though closely linked in many ways, do not share the simplistic and uninformed relationship you hope to draw in your post.

If *all* animals were safe for humans to eat *except* humans, then you might have a point; but of course there are very good genetic and evolutionary reasons for what we do and do not eat. The next time you're eating a black leopard, give me a call.

Thank you and good night.

Re:And the understatement of the year award

[Anonymous Coward]

Now I see your problem. You have no idea what you're writing about.

Plenty of animals eat their own kind. Plenty of people used to eat their own kind. A Nobel prize was awarded for research on the disease kuru. As long as the monkey meat is prepared well and does not include much central neural tissue, diseases are not much of a problem.

There are other omnivores in the primate family. Why not look instead of just believing? Again, your false beliefs led you astray.

Your general rule about nature is wrong. A few flora eat things. Knowing the idea of endosymbionts further complicates the picture. Dogs will eat cats if they can. People eat cats and dogs.

Genetic disease is not the reason for avoiding human meat. What do you even mean by genetic disease? If you mean heritable, a common idea of genetic disease, you are way off. If you mean viruses, the concern is not great. Prion diseases, which are notable exceptions to old ideas about pathogens carrying DNA, can pose a risk.

Depending on how one looks at it, you are particularly well or poorly suited to judge "simplistic and uniformed."

I can't resist the joke here...

[Xentor]

"It might also be possible to grow human sperm in mice, although the team agree this would be a controversial move."

GUARD 1: It's not a question of whether it's controversial! It's a simple question of size ratios! A five-inch mouse cannot carry a one-foot human baby!

GUARD 2: Well suppose two mice carried it together

-- Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Adapted)

And to think...

[Alcamar]

And to think, according to george carlin, today is the 2 million anniversary of sperm. We've come a long way folks :)

"At long last..."

[abulafia]

How long, exactly have you been waiting for this development?

Wait, on second thought, please don't answer that.

Re:"At long last..."

[jmccay]

What I am dreading is all the bad porn movies that can come from this...

Thanks Slashdot. You now owe me a keyboard.

[eyeball]

That has to be the best title ever. "At long last, Mice produce sperm from monkeys." Implied in there is "Finally!"

beware!

[blwrd]

This is a just an another evil plot to make men useless!

Re:beware!

[Patrik_AKA_RedX]

No fear! Plenty of women are scared of mice.

Re:beware!

[desideria]

I had thought that plot had already been succesfully hatched years ago. :)

Wow...

[NanoGator]

"At Long Last, Mice Produce Sperm From Monkeys"

Wow... somebody has VERY specific tastes....

Great story

[fredrikj]

It took me at least 10 seconds to realize that I had NOT misread the title. *shudder*

Mommy , what was my Daddy like ?

[polyp2000]

Junior ... Your father was a mouse.

Its So Wrong !

Next step... dolphins

[spacialK]

Well, as we work down Douglas Adams' ladder of earthly intelligence, I can't help but wonder if this will eventually lead to the fullfillment of the dream of those poor souls over at dolphinsex.org

Maybe a strain of super-human/dolphin hybrids will supplant mice at the top of the intelligence hierarchy.

Sorry, I know it's obscure, but hell, this story deserves it.

Re:Next step... dolphins

[lindsayt]

Are those guys kidding? Seriously, I hope that's somebody's sense of humor and not for real...

Re:Thanks Slashdot. You now owe me a keyboard.

[real_smiff]

shouldn't it be "mice produce sperm for monkeys" (or just: monkey sperm). "from monkeys" is weird, implies the mice have developed some form of alchemy that allows them to turn monkeys into sperm.

hmm, that would make a slashdot story..

Disturbing

[cgenman]

I know nobody here reads the articles, but the most disturbing part of the whole procedure is that the testicular material is grafted onto the mouse's back. The mouse must then be constantly producing a thin gelatinous ooze of reproductive material, which is attempting to burrow into anything and everything nearby.

Eww.

Re:Disturbing

[bay43270]

It's better than the alternative. This way, you can get samples with a Q-tip in a couple seconds. The alternative involves tiny little mouse pornos and a pair of latex tweezers.

Re:Disturbing

[SpeleoNut]

won't that get in the way of it's ear? http://bioteach.ubc.ca/TeachingResources/Genetics/ Mouse&Ear.jpg

Re:Disturbing

[Scrameustache]

The mouse must then be constantly producing a thin gelatinous ooze of reproductive material, which is attempting to burrow into anything and everything nearby.

I'm having a hard time visualising this...

Fortunatly, the hentai version will be out shortly to serve as an educational visual aid. I mean, with all those schoolgirls in there, its gotta be for educational purposes, right?

Re:Disturbing

[Gothic_Walrus]

...and how is this different from your average teenage boy?

/Obvious

Bringing back the Mammoth...

[MissMarvel]

I'm no cell biologist, but it seems this process could be used to bring back extinct species as well, or at least a part of them. Think about it. Might it be possible to clone tissue from a frozen Mammoth body onto a mouse to produce Mammoth sperm? Of course, one would then need a female.... maybe an elephant? Afterall, they've crossed cattle and buffalo. Oh well, just a thought.

Re:Bringing back the Mammoth...

[orthogonal]

I'm no cell biologist, but it seems this process could be used to bring back extinct species as well, or at least a part of them[....] Of course, one would then need a female.... maybe an elephant?

That's the rub (no pun intended).

While we have a basic understanding of genetics, our understanding of embryogenesis -- how a baby organism is built from the genetic code -- is still rather limited.

We also, in most cases we don't know what a particular gene does, and given that other genes can control a gene's expression, and those genes can be controlled by yet other genes, and all the genes in the process can be influenced by the organisms internal -- hormones, etc. -- and external environment, just what a gene does is a complicated question.

But it's clear that the environment of the embryo -- which is, by and large, the embryo's mother -- has a strong influence on what's actually produced from the genetic "recipe".

Experiments cloning cats, for instance, have shown that pelt patterns and hair color are only a little influence by the gene (which makes sense if you consider that getting locked into one pattern, over many generations, makes for poor camouflage -- so not having pelt patterns under genetic control may in fact be a very successful genetic adaptation).

So while elephants are related to mammoths, it's still an open question whether injecting mammoth DNA into an elephant egg would produce anything viable, let alone anything that would survive to term and be healthy. But you're correct, it might be possible, and if it is, we could then breed successively less "elephant-contaminated" generations of mammoths.

But it's still far from trivial, and shouldn't be seen as an excuse, as some would use it, to be blase about species extinctions and dwindling species diversity occurring in the present.

Re:Bringing back the Mammoth...

[Rubyflame]

Aren't elephants scared of mice?

Maybe use a pig instead of a mouse...

Re:Bringing back the Mammoth...

[Anonymous Coward]

The problem right now is not this portion of the process. If scientists had a usable DNA sample, they could probably use cloning technology to produce a mammoth embryo in the lab and then implant it into the womb of an elephant. While there may be complications, this is probably technologically doable.

The problem is getting a usable DNA sample in the first place. The way that Mammoths that have been found so far froze does not perfectly preserve their DNA, and so far scientists have not been able to retrieve any usable DNA from Mammoth samples. Once the DNA part of the problem is solved, we probably can use cloning technology to produce a living Mammoth.

Re:Wow! Look at them go!

[Anonymous Coward]

I want videos of the male mice fucking female monkeys. mmm hot

who's the real father?

[Blob Pet]

"Theoretically, it could enable a boy to become a father before he reached puberty."

So who's really the father? The boy or the mouse? The mouse is the one producing the sperm, not the boy. Oy, my head is spinning.

interesting....

[Neck_of_the_Woods]

I don't know why he climbs like that, or the fact that he loves cheese. Sometimes I wonder where that sperm bank got their inventory!

I, for one,

[Anonymous Coward]

...welcome our new monkey-rat overlords

This gives me an idea

[PD]

1) Start with a 5 assed mouse
2) ???
3) 5 Assed monkey!

It is left as an excercise for the reader to create a 5 assed mouse.

Re:This gives me an idea

[Cyno01]

A chipmunk and provolone cheese! No more will people have to look two places for squirrels and provolone cheese...

Re:This gives me an idea

[PD]

Obviously, the only person who isn't a South Park fan modded me down. Or, maybe they ARE a 5 assed monkey, you insensitive clod!

ok, wait

[Anonymous Coward]

So now a Mouse can impregnate a Monkey. First off, in this case, I think size acctually does matter. Maybe you could give the mouse a tiny breathing aparatus and a tiny flashlight and send him in and have him leave his load on the egg? It's too bad mice can't read email else they could take up some of those offers everyone gets.

Just what I always wanted.

[phazei]

Now I'll have the perfect mousnkey. Perhaps they will also have a four assed mouse soon.

I find this... really really disturbing... *shiver*

Salty Chocolate

[NanoGator]

Mickey Mouse is sitting at his desk, reading Slashdot, and thinking: "Now I know how all those white women must have felt."

Did I miss something???

[pagercam2]

Did I miss something? I didn't know that monkeys were having a problem producing sperm. I'm not sure what the mice are going to do with but it just makes one shudder. (Slow news day at /. huh?)

Re:Thanks Slashdot. You now owe me a keyboard.

[Anonymous Coward]

"from monkeys" ... the mice have developed some form of alchemy that allows them to turn monkeys into sperm.

There's an easier way to get sperm "from monkeys".

Will this decrease prescription costs...

[ryanmoffett]

for Gleemonex?

Re:Thanks Slashdot. You now owe me a keyboard.

[n9hmg]

... or to cause the monkeys to produce sperm. I suppose that would be called a "paw job"? Must be either really big-pawed mice and/or small-dicked monkeys... maybe they use both paws, along with little "tongue flicks"?

Well, That Explains It

[Flwyd]

I knew I had a monkey banging away on my keyboard, but now I'll have an opportunity to find out if one monkey on the back of a mouse will browse to www.hamlet.com

Not so hard

[kinnell]

At Long Last, Mice Produce Sperm From Monkeys

Producing sperm from monkeys is easy, you just have to massage their...erm, never mind.

Advice that has finally come of age ...

[jolshefsky]

I've been telling people this for years, but now it's got an additional ring of truth: please put a condom on your mouse before inserting it in your vagina.

A true advance in science

[azav]

would be a four assed monkey.

Re:A true advance in science

[Jru Hym]

It won't be long before they can splice some chalk, a beard, and a piece of cheese.

Poor kids...

[!splut]

From the article: "Prepubescent boys undergoing treatment for cancer that will render them sterile could benefit, Professor Dobrinski suggest."

"Billy, the doctors have good news. The cancer is in remission, and you're going to make a complete recovery! And guess what else? The doctors have given you a pet immunodeficient mouse! Take good care of him Mr. Fuzzy if you ever want to have kids of your own."

Re:Poor kids...

[ndogg]

"So, uhh, honey? Know how we really want to have kids? Remember when I told you about that surgery that I had when I was real young for this cancerous tumour. Well, it made me sterile, but they gave me this rat and..."

oh yeah...

[josepha48]

.. we'll your mother was a rat... and your father was a gerbil.. I guess that explains the IQ...

WTF are these people doing this for? Do they intend on bring back the wolly mamouth using a mouse...? first glow in the dark fish that are possibly going to be banned in californina, now this...

A South Park moment.

[Picass0]

Chef: Hello there children.
Kyle: Hey Chef.
Chef: How you doin'?
Boys: Bad.
Chef: Why bad?
Kyle: We need to genetically engineer our mouse and an monkey, but their genes won't splice.
Chef: Ahhhh, of course they won't splice children. Haven't you ever heard that song by 'Loverboy'?
Chef: Dooodnnndoodnn - A mouse and an monkey DNA just won't...A mouse-monkey. Say, now that's not a bad idea.
Kyle: I told you guys.
Chef: Imagine, a pint sized monkey that you could keep in the house. Children, we could make a fortune with this.
Kyle: You hear that dudes? We'll be rich!
Chef: Forget about all that genetic engineering whoosafudge. If you want to combine a mouse and an monkey, just get them to make sweeet love.
Cartman: Whaaat?!
Stan: I don't think an monkey would make love to a mouse.
Cartman: I don't think my mouse would want to make love to that stupid monkey.
Chef: Sure they would. But you're gonna have to get 'em in the mood.
Stan: So how do we do that?
Chef: Do what I do, get 'em goood and drunk.

Gee - why haven't we heard this before?

[Anonymous Coward]

female monkeys have been successfully producing sperm from male monkeys since monkeys first appeared or at least a short time after monkeys first appeared...

now all they need is a mouse?

tell us when the mouse can produce elephant sperms. or perhaps rhino...

Glad I got Cats at Home!!!

[Dareth]

Just when ya think the mailman all you got to worry about.. ya got to keep the damn mice away from your woman too!!!

Re:Thanks Slashdot. You now owe me a keyboard.

[Anonymous Coward]

Thanks Slashdot. You now owe me a keyboard.

Why? What's wrong with your keyboard? Did you spill something on it or what?

Oh.

Eeeeeewwwwww!!!!!

Bukake Mouse?

[Ignis Flatus]

Don't look at me that way, somebody had to say it. Surely I'm not the first to recognize the potential of licensing this technology to the Japanese entertainment industry.

Heh

[Nubmann]

Well it's about damn time this happened.

Where's the affiliate program

[1mediahound]

1. Does this lab have an affiliate program I can promote?

and

2. Makes me think twice feeding mice to my tegus now. As I feed them, I think, "That might've be the grandmother of my future kids kids kids." (well didnt look that close [male? female?] but you get the idea..)

I cant take it anymore... I'll leave it at that...

Or as I like to say...

[Anonymous Coward]

Just because I shouldn't doesn't mean I won't...

Who Ever...

[TheKidWho]

Who ever betted with the notion "when mice give birth to monkies Ill pay yah"... boy ohh boy they have just lost themselves a lot of money.

Gives a new meaning to...

[sheapshearer]

double-clicking your mouse! Gee, just when you thought we ran out of uses for mice, someone comes along and find another...

"Mice Produce Sperm From Monkeys" - clarification?

[Muhammar]

How many monkeys have to be used by the mice? {monk/mL}. Would it help using a sperm whale instead? Would it help employing *male* mice? (not necesserily white, protestant)

New meaning

[saramakos]

This explains what people mean when they say "Well I'll be a monkey's uncle" !!

Re:Wow! Look at them go!

[Zork the Almighty]

I hear you can find videos like that on the "internet", whatever that is.

Simpson's obligatory

[QEDog]

Chimpanzee 1: Help! The human's about to escape.
Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape!
Chimpanzee 2: (gasp) He can talk!
Orangutans: He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!
Troy: And I can siiiiiiiiiiing!
Chimp Nurse: Oooh! Help me, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! O, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Troy: What's wrong with me?
Dr. Zaius: I think you're crazy.
Troy: I want a second opinion.
Dr. Zaius: You're also lazy
Troy: Can I play the piano any more?
Dr. Zaius: Of course you can!
Troy: Well I couldn't before. (plays piano)
Troy: I hate every ape I see,
From chimpan-A to chimpanzee,
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me!
(Statue of Liberty rises) O my God! I was wrong!
It was Earth, all along!
You've finally made a monkey,
Apes: Yes we've finally made a monkey,
Troy: Yes you've
& Apes: finally made a monkey out of me!
Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius!

Sperm, not semen.

[Cyno01]

Its pretty clear from the article that the scientists have been able to coax the tissue to produce sperm, sperm is produced by the testes, but semen is produced by a gland near the prostate, they're combined later. But still, something elses swimmers wriggling around under its skin...

Whoa!

[coolmacdude]

"Mice have been used to produce viable monkey sperm using tissue transplanted from the testes of macaques. The U.S. scientists involved say their work might one day help to...

I almost had a heart attack for a minute there.

endagered?

[SammysIsland]

who are we to decide when it's a species time to go? we are part of nature like everything else, and we seem to think it is our reponsibility to keep everything alive. in the words of Cartman, "It's all a bunch of tree hugging hippie crap!"

Re:Heh-A whale of a bank.

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm waiting for when Whales can produce Human sperm. Talk about a population explosion.