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Nuke the Moon!

Now my plan will finally come to fruition.

1. Buy nuclear accelerator
2. Create table-top doomsday device combining particle accelerator enhanced with a travesty generator in the kitchen
3. ???
4. Profit!!

I'll be rich in no time! Wait, wait . . . what if I could mount them on the heads of sharks? Ha ha ha ha! That is soooo sweet. I'll be far more powerful than those fools wasting their time with lasers. Lasers are for lusers. Bwa hahahaha!

Maybe I'll blow up the moon as a demonstration. Of course that might have the side effect of world peace. I'll have to use a different demonstration.

But still, I'll be rich!!!

Which household pets are tastiest after being blended?

Puppies, if Glenn Reynolds is to be believed.

A Realistic Plan for World Peace
a.k.a
Nuke the Moon

http://www.imao.us/docs/NukeTheMoon.htm

And here I thought Frank J. invented the idea: http://www.imao.us/index.php/a-realistic-plan-for-world-peaceakanuke-the-moon/

An old meme about this, http://www.imao.us/docs/NukeTheMoon.htm : )

It helps if you blend it first.

Maybe.

Peace?

Here's a summary of the press conference, in case you missed it.

There's a summary here

We're actually gonna nuke the moon!

http://www.imao.us/docs/NukeTheMoon.htm

Know what is even funnier? I saw this one Friday afternoon. On a political humor blog no less; and the punch line is Frank J. pointed the link at newscientist directly. Here on News for Nerds we get the blog pointing to blog version days later.

And bring about world peace!

Oh come on, if the subject is silly uses for a nuke can anyone beat A Realistic Plan for World Peace a.k.a. Nuke The Moon. And it would be just crazy enough to work if we still had Bush. Nobody would believe Obama had the balls for the kind of crazy the plan requires though.

This is really a great idea - it will end the War on Terror:

http://www.imao.us/docs/NukeTheMoon.htm

www.imao.us/docs/NukeTheMoon.htm

A Realistic Plan for World Peace
a.k.a
Nuke the Moon
by Frank J. (originally written August 15th, 2002)

"Gotta nuke something."
-20th century philosopher Nelson Muntz

World peace cannot be achieved by sitting around on our duffs singing hippy songs to the moon. Peace can only be achieved through excessive acts of seemingly mindless violence. Who do bullies pick on in the playground? The giant, crazy looking guy who looks ready to snap and kill the person nearest or some harmless looking weenie who appears to do anything to avoid conflict? People pick on the weenie because people like to start fights they think they can win. In the same way, people will continue to attack America and our interests when they get the idea that they can piss off America without us immediately eradicating them and everyone around them in the most painful way possible.

Now, if I were president, here's what I would do. Next time some country does something we don't take a pining too, such as supporting terrorism or speaking French, I'd pick the dumbest reason for an attack, e.g., "A 'q' should always be followed by a 'u'. I don't make the rules, Iraq, but I will enforce them." The more irrational you look, the more scared the country will be that you will really hit them hard. I'd then give the country the old one-week notice until bombing starts. Then, after just twenty-four hours, I'd start bombing. When the stupid dictator calls to complain, I'd say, "I meant one week max. Oh, and by the way, ground troops - one week." I'm sure that would be enough to capitulate the average evildoer, but some extra measures could help intimidate others as well. Like, instead of just saturation bombing a city, super-saturation bomb it. After annihilating everything until nothing but ash is left, I'd nuke the ashes. It's that extra bit of extremely disproportionate use of force that makes other countries start to wonder if America "has it all together" and really worrying who we'll lash out against next.

Of course, Europe will start complaining, and Europe's bad mouthing of America gives comfort to our enemies. I mean, those guys values are so messed up they think calling someone a "cowboy" is an insult. Best idea would be to assassinate the leader of the first European country we hear a peep out of. This will probably make us look evil, though, when we want the image of crazy and violent. So, when the Europeans ask why, I'd claim to never have heard of the person: "I didn't even know France had a leader. Sure it wasn't suicide? Yeah, committing suicide with a sniper rifle would be hard, but not impossible if you had a five-hundred yard length of string to work the trigger." Assassination does seem a little extreme, but we're talking about Europe. I mean, what are they going to do other than quickly capitulate under a mild threat of force. We'll probably start seeing, "We all love America!" parades in bids to not be our next targets.

Now the world will be pretty convinced that America is frick'n nuts and just looking for a fight, but we need to really ingrain it into everyone's conscious so that no one will ever even contemplate crossing us. This requires making good use of our nukes. I know, nukes can kill millions of people, but they sure aren't doing anyone any good just sitting around. I mean, how many years has it been since we last dropped a bomb on someone? No one even thinks we'll actually use one now. Of course, using nukes shouldn't be done haphazardly; all uses have to be well planned out because the explosions are so cool looking that we'll want to give the press plenty of notice so they can get pictures of the mushroom cloud from all sorts of different angles. But what to nuke? Well, usually the idea is populated cities, but, by the beliefs of my morally superior religion, killing is wrong. So why can't we be more creative than nuking people. My idea is to nuke the moon; just say we thought we saw moon pe

A Realistic Plan for World Peace
a.k.a
Nuke the Moon

http://www.imao.us/docs/NukeTheMoon.htm

Hmm, so posting bullshit anoymously on the internet is patriotism.

Maybe you should join the 101st Fighting Keyboardists

http://www.imao.us/archives/005314.html

Ahem... "Nuke the moon!"

Oh man, do you know how many puppies will be blended because of this article's title! Don't feed the monster!

Oh oh - a Mac user and a grammar Nazi... One more strike and you are out...

I eat live puppies for breakfast.

Who let Glenn Reynolds in here?

Blowing up the moon is actually a great idea - click on and see.

Nuke the moon!!

^^^ That is what we should be doing. Forget crashing a tiny craft into it, we should be nuking it.

^^^ That is what we should be doing. Forget crashing a tiny craft into it, we should be nuking it.

Nuke The Moon A realistic plan for world peace.

http://www.imao.us/docs/NukeTheMoon.htm

Obviously, the only sane thing to do is

Nuke the Moon! (A Realistic Plan for World Peace)

Solution: Nuke the moon

IMAO, is that you?

Some good points, but mostly irrelivant to my point of Christians not accepting people actively engaging in homosexual activity in the church.

As for IMAO I can only say "Its funny. Laugh!"
It pokes fun at the stereotypes of both political parties.
The best stuff is in the In my world section which paints George Bush as a blundering moron, Rumsfeld as a war hungry serial killer, and Howard Dean as a Hulk like rage fueled force of destruction among other things. Or read his essay on why we should nuke the moonIts a good read I recommend it. Political satire at its best.

Some good points, but mostly irrelivant to my point of Christians not accepting people actively engaging in homosexual activity in the church.

As for IMAO I can only say "Its funny. Laugh!"
It pokes fun at the stereotypes of both political parties.
The best stuff is in the In my world section which paints George Bush as a blundering moron, Rumsfeld as a war hungry serial killer, and Howard Dean as a Hulk like rage fueled force of destruction among other things. Or read his essay on why we should nuke the moonIts a good read I recommend it. Political satire at its best.

Not so fast

--H

Here's a corrected second link. It's the funnier of the two, but read Kerry's "notes" first.

Off-topic but funny nonetheless:

http://www.imao.us/img/kerry_notes.jpg
http://www.imao.us/img/bush_notes.jpg

By the way, the Brits came out and admitted their intelligence showed those tubes. Cheney was relying on that and the other intelligence saying such...but that wasn't really reported by the press all that much...

Off-topic but funny nonetheless:

http://www.imao.us/img/kerry_notes.jpg
http://www.imao.us/img/bush_notes.jpg

By the way, the Brits came out and admitted their intelligence showed those tubes. Cheney was relying on that and the other intelligence saying such...but that wasn't really reported by the press all that much...

Right Wing News Allah Is In The House Little Green Footballs Cavalier's Guardian WatchBlog Iraq The Model Instapundit Power Line Michelle Malkin Ace Of Spades HQ A Small Victory The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Israpundit Jihad Watch IMAO Moxie Niel Boortz Lonewacko Wizbang Dumb Celebs Fear And Loathing In Iraq Kim du Toit PABAAH Ann Coulter La Shawn Barber Mark Steyn David Limbaugh

Red meat eating, gun toting Americans like myself read stuff like Allah, IMAO, ASV, Wizbang, the Commissar, and OTB. They've gone a little overboard lately focusing on the Rathergate thing, but overall, they're a good mix of conservative blogs.

Grouchy Old Cripple in Atlanta

The former makes me split my side most any day and twice on Sundays. Very bright for someone his age.

The latter is terribly underrated and deserves to be more widely known. He's like Neal Boortz with twice the brain power and ten times the wit.

Little Green Footballs
IMAO
RWN
and musn't forget
Drudge Report.

Yep, Bush went AWOL.

Here's the proof!

Play this backwards.

Life is good

NUKE THE MOON! ER, MARS!

Yeah like the satirist Frank J. said here.

"I will remind you," Condoleezza Rice told Bush, "that we could spare some nuclear weapons. We have enough nukes to blow the world up eight times, but our computer simulations show that even in the worst case scenario we'd never need to blow up the world more than six times."

So even if he did make some superweapons the only chance we would get to use them would be if some aliens attacked.

Yeah like the satirist Frank J. said here.

"I will remind you," Condoleezza Rice told Bush, "that we could spare some nuclear weapons. We have enough nukes to blow the world up eight times, but our computer simulations show that even in the worst case scenario we'd never need to blow up the world more than six times."

So even if he did make some superweapons the only chance we would get to use them would be if some aliens attacked.

Take whatever Reynolds says with a grain of salt. That's how he takes his puppies.