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For once he was cleverer than we give him credit for:

http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/S...

HAN
Fast ship? You've never heard of the
Millennium Falcon?

BEN
Should I have?

HAN
It's the ship that made the Kessel
run in less than twelve parsecs!

Ben reacts to Solo's stupid attempt to impress them with
obvious misinformation.

Do you really expect us to believe this crap? PROTHERO: "Do you believe this crap, Dascombe?

DASCOMBE: "It's not our job to believe it, Lewis. Our job is to tell the people" --

PROTHERO: '"Exactly what they tell us." I Know but do you think that people will believe it?'

DASCOMBE: They will if it's you that's telling it to them. Now let's try it again." ref

Like it or not, George Lucas never wanted Han to shoot first.

1977 Lucas did, and wrote the script and made the film that way. The guy who changed the film, 1997 Lucas, had the edge and artistic integrity that 1977 Lucas had.

It's unfortunate that 1997 Lucas can screw with the work of 1977 Lucas.

Maybe we should all get over it.

Or maybe we should try to preserve a work of art against the deprivations of corporate scum, and of screenwriters and directors who lose their talent.

This should have been +5 funny. It's a Futurama reference.

A Head in the Polls

FARNSWORTH: So what are you doing to protect my constitutional right to bear doomsday devices?
N.R.A. MAN: Well, first off, we're gonna get rid of that three-day waiting period for mad scientists.
FARNSWORTH: Damn straight! Today, the mad scientist can't get a doomsday device, tomorrow it's the mad grad student. Where will it end?
N.R.A. MAN: Amen, brother. I don't go anywhere without my mutated anthrax......for duck hunting.

Kyle Reese: "The 600 series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy. But these are new."

Fun fact: In a strange case of Hollywood writers actually getting basic science right, the error was intentional and explained in the original script:

...
HAN: Han Solo. I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie here tells
me you're looking for passage to the Alderaan system.

BEN: Yes, indeed. If it's a fast ship.

HAN: Fast ship? You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

BEN: Should I have?

HAN: It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve
parsecs!

Ben reacts to Solo's stupid attempt to impress them with
obvious misinformation.

Oh my god! Then it's true!

Yippie-ki-yay! You'll never guess where I've been!

Now you appreciate I can only work with the raw material I have at my disposal but for a little extra...I could also attempt to insert sequences associated with enhanced mathematical or musical ability.

It was only a single sentence so you probably just missed it.

Now you appreciate I can only work with the raw material I have at my disposal but for a little extra...I could also attempt to insert sequences associated with enhanced mathematical or musical ability.

Emphasis mine.

More like: If X < Y THEN no recall. If X > Y then recall (assuming). What if X == Y?
script

And I think political speech should not contain music.

That's a strange distinction... No music... Can the politician hum (an opponent's tune)? Reminds me of something:

• DONKEY: (singing) On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek. I can't wait to get on the road again.
• SHREK: What did I say about singing?
• DONKEY: Can I whistle?
• SHREK: No.
• DONKEY: Can I hum it?
• SHREK: All right, hum it.

Donkey begins to hum 'On the Road Again'.

What about other forms of art? Can graphics by an opponent's supporter be used to mock the opponent? Or does this guy owe Shepard Fairey, in your opinion?

Here's how Compressed Sensing works with standard JPGs.

First the program takes the target JPG (which you want to be very large), and treats it as random noise. Simply a field of random zeros and ones. Then, within that vast field, the program selects a pattern or frequency to look for variations in the noise pattern.

The variations in the noise pattern act as a beacon - sort of a signal that the payload is coming. Common variations include mathematical pulses at predictable intervals - say something that would easily be recognizable by a 5th-grader, like say a pattern of prime numbers.

Then it searches for a second layer, nested within the main signal. Some bits are bits to tell how to interpret the other bits. Use a gray scale with standard interpolation. Rotate the second layer 90 degrees. Make sure there's a string break every 60 characters, and search for an auxiliary sideband channel. Make sure that the second layer is zoomed out sufficiently, and using a less popular protocol language; otherwise it won't be easily recognizable upon first glance.

Here's the magical part: It then finds a third layer. Sort of like in ancient times when parchment was in short supply people would write over old writing... it was called a palimpsest. Here you can uncompress over 10,000 "frames" of data, which can enhance a simple noise pattern to be a recognizable political figure.

Further details on this method can be found here.

--
Recycle when possible!

Say, how many times have you seen Gladiator?

You see, the trick is, kick someone's ass the first day or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right.

They're jazzercising Fry's muscles!

Somehow, this technique reminds me of the (obviously rather simplistic) description of the functionality of the Tron program from the movie of the same name. From the script:

                    DILLINGER
  [...]
                                        What's the thing you're working on?

                                                                ALAN
                                        It's called Tron. It's a security
                                        program itself, actually. Monitors
                                        all the contacts between our system
                                        and other systems... If it finds
                                        anything going on that's not scheduled,
                                        it shuts it down. I sent you a memo
                                        on it.

                                                              DILLINGER
                                        Mmm. Part of the Master Control Program?

                                                              ALAN
                                        No, it'll run independently.
                                        It can watchdog the MCP as well.

Whoosh.

BOB SLYDELL
So what you do is you take the specifications from the customers and
you bring them down to the software engineers?

TOM
That, that's right.

BOB PORTER
Well, then I gotta ask, then why can't the customers just take the
specifications directly to the software people, huh?

TOM
Well, uh, uh, uh, because, uh, engineers are not good at dealing with
customers.

BOB SLYDELL
You physically take the specs from the customer?

TOM
Well, no, my, my secretary does that, or, or the fax.

BOB SLYDELL
Ah.

BOB PORTER
Then you must physically bring them to the software people.

TOM
Well...no. Yeah, I mean, sometimes.

BOB SLYDELL
Well, what would you say... you do here?

TOM
Well, look, I already told you. I deal with the goddamn customers so
the engineers don't have to!! I have people skills!! I am good at
dealing with people!!! Can't you understand that?!? WHAT THE HELL IS
WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!!!!!!

http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Office-Space.html

Isn't that stuff radioactive, curious as to how it took them till July 2008 to find it. And lets not mention the DU (Depleted Uranium) that was rained down on the country by its liberators. And the US and it's best buddy EnglandLand was supplying arms related technology to Iraq, right up to the invasion of Kuwait. That included nuclear detonators supplied by Matrix Churchill.

PROTHERO

Do you believe this crap, Dascombe?

DASCOMBE

It's not our job to believe it,
Lewis. Our job is to tell the people --

Krock-en's how it's pronounced in the original Scandinavian, and Krack-en's closer to that. http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-Dead-Man's-Chest.html

MS. FARMER
                                                  As you can see, the Lifeline is
                                                  controlled by two polar extremes:
                                                  "Fear" and "Love". Fear is in the
                                                  negative energy spectrum. Love is in
                                                  the positive energy spectrum. ...

            MS. FARMER
                                                            (furious)
                                                  He asked me to... forcibly insert
                                                  the Lifeline exercise card into my
                                                  anus.

http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Donnie-Darko.html

HAN: It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs!

Ben reacts to Solo's stupid attempt to impress them with obvious misinformation.

Kinda like Seven-Minute Abs.

This was also considered in Futurama:

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y54/SuperJames16/zoidberg-sperm.jpg

http://www.imsdb.com/transcripts/Futurama-Parasites-Lost.html

First the program takes the target JPG (which you want to be very large), and treats it as random noise. Simply a field of random zeros and ones. Then, within that vast field, the program selects a pattern or frequency to place variations in the noise pattern.

The variations in the noise pattern act as a beacon - sort of a signal that the payload is coming. Common variations include mathematical pulses at predictable intervals - say something that would easily be recognizable by a 5th-grader, like say a pattern of prime numbers.

Then it layers in a second layer, nested within the main signal. Some bits are bits to tell how to interpret the other bits. Use a gray scale with standard interpolation. Rotate the second layer 90 degrees. Make sure there's a string break every 60 characters, and add an auxiliary sideband channel. Make sure that the second layer is zoomed in sufficiently, and using a less popular protocol language, so that upon first glance it's not easily recognizable.

Here's the magical part: It then adds in a third layer. Sort of like in ancient times when parchment was in short supply people would write over old writing... it was called a palimpsest. Here you can catalog over 10,000 "frames" of data, which can communicate any message that you want.

Further details on this method can be found here.

Scientist: I have combined the DNA of the world's most evil animals, to make the most evil creature of them all!

[He pours the liquid into a machine and it crackles and a door in it opens. A man emerges from the smoke.]

Man: It turns out it's Man.

[From http://www.imsdb.com/transcripts/Futurama-Spanish-Fry.html ]

Come on, this deserves positive moderation for the oblique futurama/gygax reference:

                        GYGAX
                                                  Greetings! It's a ... (rolls dice) ... pleasure
                                                  to meet you!

http://www.imsdb.com/transcripts/Futurama-Anthlogy -Of-Interest-I.html

You need to know if a prospective husband can qualify for a mortgage or life insurance or can hold down a decent job.
...

Why should anybody invest all that money to train me, when there are a thousand other applicants with a far cleaner profile? Of course, it's illegal to discriminate - "genoism" it's called - but no one takes the laws seriously.
...

If you refuse to disclose, they can always take a sample from a doorhandle... or a handshake... even the saliva off your application form.

EXT. SANTA MARIA - DECK - DAY

Piss is dripping on the deck. THE SAILORS do not seem to care. THE COOK takes a chicken from a cage. He breaks its neck, and starts plucking it. The OTHERS continue their bitter conversation.

ALONSO
We should have seen land.

SAILOR
We left three weeks ago, Alonso. Can't be that near.

ALONSO
Can't be that far, I say. Also, I don't like the smell of the sea around here. Smells like a whore. Bad sign...

The COOK starts laughing. They turn to him.

COOK (shaking his head)
Of course it smells like it! That's why sailors take to the sea!

Conquest of Paradice script

Security by obsolescence, eh?

Even the Big Apple Bank had a Swipe Machine and PIN entry device when the teller discovered "We don't seem to have your retina scan, your fingerprint or your colonic map on file."
(Script for this episode: http://www.imsdb.com/transcripts/Futurama-A-Fishfu l-Of-Dollars.html)

Ahhh... great memories of Commodore 64 goodness. We only got one 8 years after they came out - when I was 8. Second hand, of course, but still probably the crux of my life up to now and in the future.

I WAS going to be a Piano/Violin/Trumpet playing, Japanese and French speaking Martial-artist tour-guide chef, or something like that. I'd have to ask Mum if she remembers anything else.

                        FRY
Why would a robot need to drink?

                        BENDER
I don't need to drink, I can quit anytime
I want! So they made you a delivery
boy, huh? Man, that's as bad as my job.

In the earliest episodes Bender's alcoholism was portrayed as a vice rather than the necessary fuel for his power cells

Eh? It was mentioned in the third episode of the series.

You are going to help us, Mr. Anderson, whether you want to or not.

Smith nods and the other two rip open his shirt.

From a case taken out of his suit coat, Smith removes a long, fiber-optic wire tap.

Neo struggles helplessly as Smith dangles the wire over his exposed abdomen. Horrified, he watches as the electronic device animates, become an organic creature that resembles a hybrid of an insect and a fluke worm.

Thin, whisker-like tendrils reach out and probe into Neo's navel. He bucks wildly as Smith drops the creature which looks for a moment like an uncut umbilical cord -- Before it begins to burrow its, tail thrashing as it worms its way inside.

Gizmo is almost as bad.

I guess I need to practice my Huttese.

POLIS MEDICS work, on PADME in an operating theater. OBI-WAN and one of the MEDICAL DROIDS enter an observation room where BAIL and YODA are waiting.

MEDICAL DROID: Medically, she is completely healthy. For reasons we can't explain, we are losing her.

OBI-WAN: She's dying?

MEDICAL DROID: {PAUSE }... We don't know why. She has lost the will to live. We need to operate quickly if we are to save the babies. twins.

BAIL ORGANA: Babies??!! {Give happy yet sad and shocked look}

MEDICAL DROID: She's carrying twins.

YODA: Save them, we must. They are our last hope.

The MEDICAL DROID rushes back to the operating room. ARTOO and THREEPIO watch, greatly puzzled. ARTOO BEEPS.

C-3PO: It s some kind of reproductive process, I think.

227 INT. CORUSCANT-IMPERIAL REHAB CENTER-DAY

ANAKIN, in the medical capsule, is lifted onto a table in the Rehab Center. DROIDS go to work on him. ANAKIN has new legs and a new arm.

228 INT. POLIS MASSA-MEDICAL CENTER-NIGHT

The TWINS are being delivered as BAIL ORGANA, YODA, ARTOO, and THREEPIO watch. OBI-WAN is in the operating theater with PADME. He takes her hand. // Nice! That's all! Shut up Ewan!

OBI-WAN: Don't give up, Padme.

PADME winces from the pain. The MEDICAL DROID is holding the BABY.

MEDICAL DROID: It's a boy.

PADME: Luke . . .

PADME can only offer up a faint smile. She struggles to touch the baby on the forehead.

MEDICAL DROID: ... and a girl.

PADME: . . . Leia.

R2-D2, THREEPIO and BAIL ORGANA watch from an adjoining space.

229 INT. CORUSCANT-IMPERIAL REHAB CENTER-DAY

VADER, dressed in his black body armor, lies on the table. Nose plugs are inserted and the mask drops from above, sealing tightly. The helmet is fitted and VADER begins breathing.

230 INT. POLIS MASSA-MEDICAL CENTER-NIGHT

OBI WAN leans over PADME and softly speaks to her.

OBI-WAN: You have twins, Padme They need you . . . hang on.

PADME: I can't . . .

PADME winces again and takes OBI-WAN's hand. She is holding Anakin's japor snippet.

OBI-WAN: Save your energy. {Give calm yet pleading look instead}

PADME: Obi-Wan . . . there . . . is good in him. I know there is ... still . . .

A last gasp, and she dies. Obi-Wan studies the necklace.


------
I think that would have been better, although I just cut 90% of Ewan's lines. Oh well. Do that to the entire movie, remove some of those 20+ second long CGbation scenes whenever we enter a new planet (6 seconds max is all need).... I'd buy that for a dollar! ;)

OBI-WAN: (continuing) . . . You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would, destroy the Sith, not join them. It was you who would bring balance to the Force, not leave it in Darkness.

OBI-WAN picks up Anakin's light saber and begins to walk away. He stops and looks back.

ANAKIN: I hate you!

OBI-WAN: You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you.

Of course, the very worst dialogue was between Anakin and Padme. Episode II was so painful.

They took our jobs!

Too-kourderb!

The original script called for Bossk to be a "slimy, tentacled monster with two huge, bloodshot eyes in a soft baggy face."

Oh please...
If you're going to quote something that famous, at least SPELL IT RIGHT.

"Clatoo, verata, Nicto."

Taken direct from the script online;
http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Army-of-Darkness.html