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Sperm Could Power Nanobots
Lucas123 writes "According to MSNBC, scientists are experimenting with using a sperm's flagellum to overcome the problem of supplying energy to nanobots that could be implanted in the body as smart probes that would release disease-fighting drugs, monitor enzymes and perform other medical roles within a patient's body. Powered by a compound called adenosine triphosphate or ATP, a sperm's flagellum can propel it at about 7 inches an hour. Energy from ATP could also power the pumps charged with dispensing the medication at a certain rate from the nanobots."
...of making your insurance provider to cover your porn costs so you can power your nanobots!
"Useless organic meatbag" -HK-47
But where on Earth can they possibly find enough sperm?
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. But light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
In that case my ex could run a power plant.
A sperm barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic sperm. Steve Austin will be that sperm. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.
How long would sperm be able to live though? I believe it's about 3 days in an ideal environment (vagina), how would it work in a hostile one like a nanobot?
I like muppets.
Leave me alone, I'm trying to save sick children in Africa!
fap fap fap
(Yes, I know they wouldn't be using actual sperm, merely copying it. But it's still a funny mental image.)
I for one welcome our new, sticky, nano-robotic overlords!
A man's reach must exceed his grasp, or what's an erection for?
Sort of like a cyborg sperm-cell; wicked.
If you mod this up, your slashdot background will turn into a beautiful sunset!
As anyone who's watched or heard of Mai-Hime knows, sperm and nanobots do not mix. Apparently prostate-specific antigen damages them somehow.
~Eien no Inori wo Sasagete~ Searching for my Hatsumi...
I'm afraid that there is no lower limit to the depths to which /.ers can or will go.
'Come' with me if you want to live.
Would be the easiest way to make a few billion bucks that I've ever heard of.
This is my sig.
I'm not masturbating, I'm generating power for my nanobot army!
"The fight for freedom has only just begun." - Geert Wilders
Up to now, sperm has only been used to power ovum and kleenex. Which is only half useful and full of downsides when successful.
How do you train them to run in a nano hamster wheel.
the "Matrix" premise of robots using human beings as "batteries" might have been made a little more plausible... if slightly more disgusting.
Oh, yeah, it's not easy to pad these out to 120 characters.
Sure, that's what they are doing.
I'm glad to see that sperm finally has a good use...
So, the nano-bots can be "implanted" into the person. Yeah, I think this is just a ploy by scientists to get laid.
I call dibs on the name Masturbot (c) 2007
This is my sig. There are many like it but this one is mine.
... Spunk...
Spurts & sprints?
Smooth, or chunky?
Choosy Bots work in a jiffy..
Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
How about sperm powered fembots? They could remake this movie!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0270688/plotsummary
This is just another crackpot perpetual moisten machine.
Well, I guess it's worth a shot...
I can't stop laughing. One of the few quadruple takes I've ever done in my life. I'll put this one right next to Nimoy and his Hobbit song.
we can add an adapter (ie "port") to our electronic devices.. so when they're dying, we just need to ejaculate in this port to recharge them? Can they make cars run off this too?
I seem to be able to propel sperm about 7 inches in the space of a few seconds.
-insert a witty something-
Scientist A: You got sperm on my nanobot!
...
Scientist B: You got your nanobot in my sperm!
It goes from God, to Jerry, to me.
"Implanting sperm to power a new generation of robots"
Hot
...who says science isn't sexy?
Slashdot: Playing Favorites Since 1997
Pope declares nanotechnology against the will of the Lord, demands Catholics around the world put an end to this horrible atrocity of wasting the sacred seed. ... and Michael Palin sings a song about it.
Man, Chuck Norris will be able to power the entire planet!
The plot didn't involve nanotech directly, but it did have quotes like "I need your active molecules! Please, deposit them in the front slot!"
Ahem... or so I'm told.
Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
This isn't about powering nanobots with sperm. It's about looking at sperm's locomotive method and adapting it to nanobots.
I'm not really sure why the article talks about sperm, specifically, but ATP is used all over the human body to do virtually everything, including move muscles.
...we can be fully productive 100% of our waking hours.
"My boys can swim!
What?
I approve of this nanobot sperm idea. Anything makes more sense than trying to impregnate the shower tiles.
...welcome our sperm overlords? No, no,no....
Sounds like a cool hardware hack though.
Any guest worker system is indistinguishable from indentured servitude.
No animals were harmed in the making of this robot. (At least the animals didn't complain!)
"Sperm powered nanobot fertilizes woman!
An Alaskan woman has sued the nanobot division of XXXXXX after becoming pregnant. She claims that the sperm powered nanobot fertilized her while performing a surgery on her womb."
It may be funny right now... but will it still be when it happens ?
--
What do you see here (.Y.) ?
Mitochondria are the manufacturers of nearly all ATP (Adenosine TriPhosphate) in the body... Just find a way to incorporate them "cybernetically" with the flagellated nanobots and you would need to just add simple sugars to power your sperm-tailed nanobots. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitochondrion
Of course, I can see a possible application... A new form of Cybernetic birth-control, where nanobots kill any real sperm that try to inseminate the egg, acting like a phalanx to prevent fertilization. (Or they could attack the egg, killing it. But that would have even more theologians up in arms... there are millions of sperm but (typically) only one egg.)
Then again, there are quite a few people that believe that "Every Sperm Is Sacred": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNgotUM4gk8
. . . "wanking" hours?
Thanks, I'll be here all week, try the hummous infused polenta medallions.
Excellent. In the name of science I vow to triple my current sperm production output. Hmmm - I wonder if I can get a grant...
http://www.threepanelsoul.com/view.php?date=2007-11-13
http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0804/3.jpg
Shredder! Get those turtles.
Script kiddies ate my sig.
1. Watch a video of Jessica Alba.
2. ?????
3. Profit!!!
the line begin? I'm all for donating to the cause of science. I'll let them examine my little guys if the price is right and they have enough palm grease for the job.
Of course, it'll only a matter of time till the SPEC (Sperm Producing and Exporting Countries) cartel forms and sets up the first Sperm Bourse.
Pricing will be in Jizzars and sold by the Bukakke.
if you put that in my mouth I'm definitely spitting it out.
Can I bum a sig?
ATP is the fuel for muscles. Trying to use ATP to power nanobots has absolutely nothing to do with sperm in particular.
is your cancer is completely gone.
The bad news is you're pregnant.
Droppin' loooooooowwdds!!!!! All over yerrrr zerrrooos and oneesssss!!!! Eat it you digital nano-bitch!!!! Yeeeeeahhhhhh...
(A bad Nick Manning reference. Go ahead. Mod me down. I deserve it.)
dead or alive, you're coming for me.
liqbase
"...a sperm's flagellum to overcome the problem of supplying energy to nanobots that could be implanted in the body as smart probes..."
For the first time since the beginning of recorded civilization, the words "sperm" and "smart" have been found in the same sentence.
Not to mention that the profound financial implications of sperm as energy bring a whole new meaning to the term "sperm bank". I call dibs on "Canada Thrust" and "Bank of Nova Scrotum".
I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
I guess rating nanobots in "sperm power" would make more sense than .000000000001 HP, you can just say that little baby (no pun intended) takes 2000 sperm power.
Don't date robots!
and i thought the term "test tube baby" was funny.....now that'll just be the fuel tank for my Wanker5000.
We're in college now. There's girls here. They do stuff....
I am glad to see a welcoming of alternate fuel sources. Maybe this is in the right direction for moving away from foreign fuel dependencies??
On a comical, but realistic side note. Would we be able to tell which nanobots are powered by pot smokers??? Reduced mobility, along with lower counts could cause significant problems with bots powered by sperm from marijuana usage. Just a thought!
-- Brought to you by Carl's JR
imagine nanobots powered by sperm, used for medical purposes. It's kind of gross thinking there are spermatozoids in my blood stream just floating around
That is faptastic news, now males get more options for pick up lines.
Hey babe, do your nanos need a refuel?
Creating an army of nanobot overlords by trying to seduce Harry Kim!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85O6HISsUTk
So now we know why the Borg were so hot for ASSimilation.....
Ta Dum Dum!!
Service guarantees Citizenship! Questions Guarantee GITMO.... Amerika Uber Alles!
You can have my sperm when you pry it from my cold dead hands...
If this is the same measuring of 7" that most guys use, then these things will probably top out at about 4" or 5"...
If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.
"I'm sorry, John. I'm having a baby, and it's yours," said the synthesised voice of the MasturBot® 2500x+ With Extra Input Bandwidth.
Those using pirated Tinysoft signatures(TM) are a real threat to society and should all be thrown in jail.
I, for one, do NOT welcome our new sperm powered overlords.
Is buying a Harley Davidson as your first motorcycle since you were 16 at age 49 a midlife crisis issue?
So, is that how we get to make seven of nine's nanoprobes self-powered? Ahhh the Borg Queen. She's such a naughty girl.
printf($randomline(sigs.txt) \n "-- "$randomline(authors.txt));
-- myself
Sounds like a very demented alternate version of The Matrix trilogy. Actually, maybe a pornographic version of The Matrix. They do cover all the humans in a slick gel after all.
I wonder what they'd block out instead of the sun when the robots inevitably go bad . . .
...how the scientists came to this conclusion?
From now on, we have to call them NanoBorgs.
Peter North could power a small factory then couldn't he?
I don't ever plan on having children now that I can donate all day long to science!
... we'll need an army of super-virile men re-jiggering 'round the clock!
"Come on baby, the nano-doctor says you have to"
I can see it now: lawsuits for nano-rape.
"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
"Sperm Powered Nanobots" would be a great name for a rock band...
Proverbs 21:19
When I took intro biology during my college years, there were two chemical equations we were required to memorize:
1. Photosynthesis
2. How the body creates ATP
I'm not sure the article makes it clear, but ATP is the currency for energy (in the physics sense of the word) in the body. It's not at all surprising that something intended to operate in the body, requiring energy, would make use of ATP. It's like buying an electronic device for your car and it runs on 12V and plugs into the cigarette lighter port. Common sense.
Do they need some samples?
Question everything
Hey, what did you expect? We need those kind of headlines here in digg. Oh, wait...
it's living serving the dead
i'm not ecstatic about the idea
I misread this as "spam powered nanobots"
Sometimes, life itself is sarcasm...
My sperm could propel nanobots a good 6 or 7 feet, assuming at least 12 hours between times when the nanobots needed to go anywhere...
I feel so bad about how much energy I've wasted over the years.
Chewbacon
The Bible is like Wikipedia: written by a bunch of people and verifiable by questionable sources.
JENKINS! Go power up the Nanobots! On the Double!
No kidding!
Those kooky scientists will try anything to get laid! Just wait until the dean hears about this!
"Hey baby, fancy a hot nanobot injection?"
I am government man, come from the government. The government has sent me. -- G.I.R.
Maybe it's just me, but I can see conservatives getting up in arms over this. After all, a sperm is a human, right ;).
So great, now we've got a Geek Propetual Motion Machine.
I like music
Makes one (1) Tenured Professor:
1. Find proteins.
2. Attach to a surface (his tags work well).
3. Make link to nanotechnology (half-baked links are easier).
4. Put out a press release claiming to be the first person to put proteins on a surface.
Congratulations, you're tenured!
"Kif, clear my schedule."
Don't you have someone you'd die for?
Is it just me or does anyone else envision all their bodies' cells being impregnated by these little devices?
I'll power power power them all! POWER THEM ALL!! OHH
Think about it. Once released, the sperm makes it way to its target. Not wasting time, just a struggle to the final end. Once at the target, it explodes throwing DNA haphazardly. Good god man. Give the little terrorist a mech warrior and let it go? What are they thinking?
It's fun to make jokes and all but can those bots run 'Linuts'?
I won't even bother to say much except "what an interesting smell" and "the neighbors and small mammals stayed away".
C|N>K
You might think this is crazy but before herpes and AIDS it was promoted as an acne cure. Ugh.
The USS Semen?
Knowing Google's lust for data collection, the Soviet Union is still alive and well inside the psyche of Sergey Brin....
Mother (yelling down basement stairs): "What are you doing down there?"
Slashdotter: "Recharging the robots!"
Have gnu, will travel.
Someday I will have a sexbot I can recharge while I use it!
Imagine a Beowulf clusterfuck of these.
Their they're doing there hair.
Now where does the 'grey' come from?
September 2011: Looking for Cocoa/iOS work in Boston area Cocoa Programmer Quincy, MA
I'm no Luddite, but I really oppose this technology. Why has nobody bothered to ask, "We know that we can do it, but should we do it?". Here are my reasons.
testing out my trending skills
That's what I read in the headline for the 3rd time now.
And I want to get that image out of my head!
Only on /. !
Perhaps could be called
Onanbots or Onannites?
More girls swallowing... their medicine? In the words of Mary Poppin's a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down!
patent pending
Is that a challenge?
Okay seriously I've just run out of pointless things to say.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!
Comment removed based on user account deletion
I knew I haven't been barrelling this stuff for nothing!
Things could get interesting if you also endow the robots with a sense of self-preservation and the ability to evolve. They would NEED the sperm to survive, and thus evolve ever more interesting methods to obtain it. The only drawback would be when they evolve to the point of realizing they don't need _human_ sperm... bummer.
how would the spermobots get into your system..capsul, injection, "cherry" flavored drink? just something interesting that I thought of when I saw this.
Oh hell I know they can go 6-feet a second without even breathing hard!
-Bozo de Niro-
BURNING BABIES!
Note: This is for humor purposes we all know that babies are for buying their parents stuff when they are older
OK, I'll go into the doctor in 20 years:
"Oh, well, sorry you have . It's treatable with nanobots. However.. they need fuel. Please wank it into this cup." 8-)
What about bacteria? Oh that's right :-P