Slashdot Mirror

The Australian goverment is obviously trolling us with this law. There can be no other explanation.

FBI reveals Carnivore to be hoax, announces "YHBT"

what colour schemes? When coding, I found it to be less a problem about specific fonts than I did about the brightness of what I was looking at.

A black shell (heck - even DOS) with white characters has always been easier on my eyes than a bright GUI interface (like the Windows default) with black characters. I'm unsure why, because I have a hell of a time reading the black-background web pages out there like Segfault or Planetquake to name a couple, but for some reason the old 80x25 black and white has always been easy on my eyes. Funny thing about the web sites, though - I have the problem on IE much more than on Netscape, but it's still there on both browsers. I end up highlighting all the text on the page just so I can read it.

If you're sticking with the windowed environments with more font choices, I'd have to say that I've always liked to work with Arial Black. It's not as harsh to focus on like the Courier or Times New Roman fonts that seem to be default just about everywhere. The characters are thicker and nicely rounded, and look good to me in many different resolutions.

According to the wonderful Segfault satire, Wearable PC maker calls it quits, the company executive discovers the real reason why the business won't work:

"I finally figured out why we haven't sold any of these things. No one is a big enough dork to actually wear a PC."

Banner Ads Now Themselves Have Banner Ads

http://segfault.org/story.phtml?mode=2&id=3aa0088a -087aad20

--

HA! Do that and the crackhead will slap you with a cease-and-desist letter faster than you can say "foo"!!
Sean

HA! Do that and the crackhead will slap you with a cease-and-desist letter faster than you can say "foo"!!
Sean

I really wish Jobs and co. had a dose of sanity to go with the LSD-augmented genius.

Steve Jobs is on crack not LSD.

the geek code, for software licenses

This story makes a nice point.

Kinda eerie, if you ask me...

--

...when I wrote this article Ballmer, Bush Meet, Discuss New Communist Threat at Segfault. I didn't think a fudster from Microsoft would read it and take it literally!

...when I wrote this article Ballmer, Bush Meet, Discuss New Communist Threat at Segfault. I didn't think a fudster from Microsoft would read it and take it literally!

See this recent satire on segfault

TV-Distributed Web to Be Censored

Television companies will are poised to start delivery of Web content, but have announced today that they will be censoring all content they deliver. Due to fears of lawsuits based on the decency of material found on the Internet and the potential for distribution of copyrighted material, all content sent to homes over TV station bandwidth will be delivered sans graphics, video and audio. This is made possible by a revolutionary new piece of technology called Lynx.

"Lynx will allow our affiliate stations to deliver web content with full certainty that none of the content is indecent, offensive, or copyrighted," said Jeff Singleworth, vice-president of ABC Corp. "We're also putting into place a word blocker which removes all offensive language from websites, so that we can be absolutely positive there is nothing which will get us in any trouble with anyone for any reason."

"The real beauty of the system is that it will allow our users to stream text into their home in real-time, what with all the bandwidth we're saving by not transmitting graphics, audio or video."

Pricing for the text browsing service is expected to start at $49.00/mo, and is projected to launch late third quarter, 2001.

Pure Text(tm), the latest advance in Mature Systems gaming. PureText by MS would be the best system for CDs, DVDs, and Streaming Text presentation systems. Plus the use of the Pure Text system allows for far more content and far larger worlds than has been experienced before.

This is an Idea whose time has come.

Just about the only vision that has come anywhere close to coming into being is the idea of a PC in [nearly] every home.

...the MS story on Segfault. What I crave is originality in my humour.
--

Another similar piece can be found here, entitled "Linus: Microsoft is Going Down."

For better or worse, the AI-enhanced candidate was sent home to a state he didn't carry.

Segfault.org has the the answer.

--

Larry Augustin - President, CEO & Director, VA Linux Systems
Great, a guy that's currently on the recieving end of a shareholder lawsuit due to not playing by the rules when his company IPO'd.

Tim O'Reilly - President, O'reilly Associates
Isn't this the guy Bruce Perens described as the "biggest parasite in the open source community"? Why yes, I believe it is. This was part of why Bruce resigned from OSI and returned to the Free Software movement.

Eric Raymond - Author, The Cathedral and the Bazaar
Didn't this guy threaten to kill Bruce Perens? Yes, I believe he did. Question for you ESR, why isn't Open Source a trademark anymore? Is it because you couldn't work and play well with others (namely Bruce)?

Randy Terbush - Co-founder, Director & Treasurer, Apache Foundation; Founder & CTO, Covalent
Actually an OK guy by all accounts I've heard.

Bob Young - Chairman, Red Hat Software
I think Mae Ling Mak said it best: There's a bug in redhat and his name is Bob. The way Bob reacted after discovering that one of his employess had been sexually harassing Ms. Mak online was disgraceful. There needs to be a zero tolerance policy against sexual harassment in the workplace. I hope the guy involved never works again.

Wow, talk about choosing the lesser of several evils.

--Shoeboy

That wouldn't be the first time. How do you think the iMac got here? (Note to the differently clued: the preceding link isn't a real news story.)

Physicists have developed a software only form of data streaming that just might send hackers packing. The technology, based on the Hiesenburg uncertainty principle, makes it possible to send a digital song or movie over the internet without fear of the data being intercepted or copied at the final destination. Dr Peter Hackinsack from the University of Southern California explains:

"It's truly amazing. When we first started thinking about sending quantum data over the Internet we were talking about optic fiber and very complicated optic only switches."

Electromagnetic fields have been shown to disrupt the stability of quantum super states and has been a major hurdle in quantum computing.

"Then one day we decided to try measuring a quantum state but not actually observing the calculations until they had passed over the Internet as normal data. We expected the results to be skewed and indeed they were. It was during this process that we discovered that we could shape the data into any form we wanted!"

Dr Hackinsack continues to explain how the data passes through a complex encryption mechanism that is the key to the data's encoding. Dr Hackinsack ensures us that the encryption process is very fast and can be done on a media company's web server in real time. The data then passes over the Internet to the user's home computer where a program such as Windows Media Player or Winamp can deliver it to the end user.

"They can store the data for as long as they like and make as many copies as they like. But once the song or movie or whatever is actually istened to, all the copies revert to random garbage!"

The process is called "quantum state destablization" and is observed daily by researchers in quantum computing. Dr Hackinsack and a number of associates who requested not to be identified have formed a startup company and secured funding from the MPAA.

"Oh we're going to make the SDMI obsolete. There's no reason to rely on big numbers when you've got the power of the universe to protect you."

But securing funding has not been easy. Describing the process to media executives has been grueling for scientists who deal with this kind of physics day by day.

"They were such a pain. We tried everything. They didn't want to learn about the technology and they didn't understand the demo we erformed. In the end we got some undergraduates to explain it and they seemed happy. Well they gave us the money!"

Deployment of the product is still some months away.

Read other fake news..

No way!

At least, not if I buy www.letter.com you won't!

In other news, Microsoft Word Charges By The Letter...
---
pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate.

/mdroid
;-)

Talk about Life imitating Humor...

I chuckled at this post, then went to look at my Segfault Slashbox. The newest item: Answering Machine Subjected to DDoS Attacks.

---

in related news : http://segfault.org/story.p htm l?id=3a100bfa-01ce7100

I understand. the advantage is that the small fry cannot go over seas. and other countries may get into the act.

[insert visions of KGB agents hunting down russian spammers]

Well. there is always the following option, as posted on Segfault back in april 99:

Mafia Don Announces New Anti-Spam Venture

As the NSA and FBI fear, traditional crime organizations have been incorporating high-tech communication into their organizations. Although Janet Reno was quoted stating "This is law enforcement's worst nightmare.", techies around the world are sure to be pleased with one New York Syndicate's new venture.

It all started when Don Dominiqi signed onto his AOL account last Monday morning. His inbox was filled with "Make Money Fast", "Viagra On-Line", and "Teenybopper Web Sex" ads. Lost amidst the drivel was an important note detailing a non-taxed shipment of Marlboros, which were later confiscated by the BATF. Little did he know, as he shouted "Bring me the left hand of this f*cking gutterslime!" what would become of it all.

Later that same day, Billy "Run!" Brutekowski and Larry "My Eyes!" Plucker cornered the pasty-faced offender of the Family in a small cyber cafe in Grenich Village. "This was by far the creepiest place the Boss has ever sent us." stated Billy, who only spoke on condition of anonymity. "Everyone in this place looked pale and sickly, like they had already been 'spoken to'. We asked for this punk, and several people quickly pointed him out. Most of the scum we find in gin joints aren't so quick to finger one of their own," Billy continued.

"He must not watch much TV, because this sh*t didn't even flinch when we came to the corner he was hiding in," Larry proceeded to relate. "We dropped this sheet of paper the Boss had given us on his table and he says 'So you guys want to make money fast, eh?' He puts out his and says to give him $20. This scrawny little dirtball tells me to give him $20!" Larry was quite agitated at this part in his story, and his description of how Sammy Spammer's hand fell off was quite garbled.

Billy continued, "Up till now, this was a routine visit. We was just being playful. The weird sh*t began when we tried to leave." "This pimply faced kid blocks the door as we try to leave, and I'm thinking to myself 'Great, a f*cking Karate Kid hero. He just stand there, and then he hands me a $5 bill." Billy pulls out the $5, and holds it like it is his first quarter from his favorite grandmother. "They lined up after that, and we had $175 in 'tips' when we left the joint."

Later that day the Don himself visited the café, unwilling to believe the story. Although the details are unclear, sources at the café indicate that the Don has hired them to build and host a new Anti-Spam site. Through a SSL transaction system, the site will accept spam complaints and credit card donations towards 'solutions to problems'. Multiple complaints against the same spammer are added to the total until an acceptable solution has been found.

Larry tells us that a typical $250 solution is a broken hand, and for $2000 all anyone ever sees again of 'the problem' are his shoes.

The URL is to be announced next week, and the cyber café's phones have been jammed with requests for more information.

I understand. the advantage is that the small fry cannot go over seas. and other countries may get into the act.

[insert visions of KGB agents hunting down russian spammers]

Well. there is always the following option, as posted on Segfault back in april 99:

Mafia Don Announces New Anti-Spam Venture

As the NSA and FBI fear, traditional crime organizations have been incorporating high-tech communication into their organizations. Although Janet Reno was quoted stating "This is law enforcement's worst nightmare.", techies around the world are sure to be pleased with one New York Syndicate's new venture.

It all started when Don Dominiqi signed onto his AOL account last Monday morning. His inbox was filled with "Make Money Fast", "Viagra On-Line", and "Teenybopper Web Sex" ads. Lost amidst the drivel was an important note detailing a non-taxed shipment of Marlboros, which were later confiscated by the BATF. Little did he know, as he shouted "Bring me the left hand of this f*cking gutterslime!" what would become of it all.

Later that same day, Billy "Run!" Brutekowski and Larry "My Eyes!" Plucker cornered the pasty-faced offender of the Family in a small cyber cafe in Grenich Village. "This was by far the creepiest place the Boss has ever sent us." stated Billy, who only spoke on condition of anonymity. "Everyone in this place looked pale and sickly, like they had already been 'spoken to'. We asked for this punk, and several people quickly pointed him out. Most of the scum we find in gin joints aren't so quick to finger one of their own," Billy continued.

"He must not watch much TV, because this sh*t didn't even flinch when we came to the corner he was hiding in," Larry proceeded to relate. "We dropped this sheet of paper the Boss had given us on his table and he says 'So you guys want to make money fast, eh?' He puts out his and says to give him $20. This scrawny little dirtball tells me to give him $20!" Larry was quite agitated at this part in his story, and his description of how Sammy Spammer's hand fell off was quite garbled.

Billy continued, "Up till now, this was a routine visit. We was just being playful. The weird sh*t began when we tried to leave." "This pimply faced kid blocks the door as we try to leave, and I'm thinking to myself 'Great, a f*cking Karate Kid hero. He just stand there, and then he hands me a $5 bill." Billy pulls out the $5, and holds it like it is his first quarter from his favorite grandmother. "They lined up after that, and we had $175 in 'tips' when we left the joint."

Later that day the Don himself visited the café, unwilling to believe the story. Although the details are unclear, sources at the café indicate that the Don has hired them to build and host a new Anti-Spam site. Through a SSL transaction system, the site will accept spam complaints and credit card donations towards 'solutions to problems'. Multiple complaints against the same spammer are added to the total until an acceptable solution has been found.

Larry tells us that a typical $250 solution is a broken hand, and for $2000 all anyone ever sees again of 'the problem' are his shoes.

The URL is to be announced next week, and the cyber café's phones have been jammed with requests for more information.

Link : A Vote For Nader Is .36 Of A Vote For Bush

It really is pretty damn funny.

-- .sig --

i kinda knew before reading it was satire. even quite crappy one. uh. segfault has usually by far better satires, in case you didn't know.

Segfault has some underreporte d details in its coverage :)

Nah ... You'll be better with IDEYES !

--

Al Gore seems to think so.

..."I like to compare FreeBSD's structure (like an archery target -- core in the middle, committers in the next ring, and users in the outermost ring) to Linux's [structure]. Linus is Linux's 'core' (at least when we're talking about the kernel)."

"In this way, Linux's 'core' is not fault tolerant. FreeBSD, on the other hand, is much better equipped to survive the loss of a core member. ..."

Of course, this assertion has already been disproven at Segfault, not once, but twice. ;-)

--

..."I like to compare FreeBSD's structure (like an archery target -- core in the middle, committers in the next ring, and users in the outermost ring) to Linux's [structure]. Linus is Linux's 'core' (at least when we're talking about the kernel)."

"In this way, Linux's 'core' is not fault tolerant. FreeBSD, on the other hand, is much better equipped to survive the loss of a core member. ..."

Of course, this assertion has already been disproven at Segfault, not once, but twice. ;-)

--

..."I like to compare FreeBSD's structure (like an archery target -- core in the middle, committers in the next ring, and users in the outermost ring) to Linux's [structure]. Linus is Linux's 'core' (at least when we're talking about the kernel)."

"In this way, Linux's 'core' is not fault tolerant. FreeBSD, on the other hand, is much better equipped to survive the loss of a core member. ..."

Of course, this assertion has already been disproven at Segfault, not once, but twice. ;-)

--

Probably copied out of this BOOK


--
Chief Frog Inspector

Look at this patent posted on segfault.org a while ago. I like that...

"SatireWire is intended for use by those age 18 and older. All stories are fictional and satirical and should not in any way be construed as fact. Please read our disclaimer. All contents Copyright © 1999-2000, SatireWire and FNwire, LLC. All rights reserved"

Don't you guys get it... It's a joke!!! Someone is trying to auction off the internet and they just made up the story about Al Gore. Send the story to Segfault.

I though /. was just for serious news

Although it was a good joke...

What if Linus is hit by a bus? That question has already been settled here: What if Linus gets hit by a bus?

Francis Hwang

Information wants to be a ballet dancer

If I wanted fake news, I would go to Segfault.org and get it there. I come to Slashdot to get quick, reliable, updates.

Furthermore, how could CmdrTaco even possibly believe this story is true? Why would a company give you their stock to stop pirating their games? Isn't that like paying you to stop? Why not just prosecute you if they have actually found out who you are and what you are doing?

"If I had a stock option for every game I pirated..."

It is hardly GNU GNU Network Object Model Environment, as "GNU GNOME" would imply.

It's already long enough - "Gnu's Not Unix Network Object Model Environment". If RMS's evil "extra GNU" is allowed to continue, then what will happen?! THIS:

Gnu's Not Unix Gnu's Not Unix Network Object Model Environment

But scariest of all is the fact that GNU doesn't stop... at all! That name will just keep growing and growing! GNU, as widly reported, "harbors a stack overflow bug that can cause the English language to crash". Perhaps GNOME trying to expand part of its name's continuous loop explains it's high memory usage and instability.

People, you must understand this. GPL'ed software is evil. It hosts an evil stack overflow bug in its name. RMS knows this. He wants to build society's dependance on his "GNU/[insert name here]" software, then bring it crushing down!

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

(Some sence of humour required ;)

Go here

Segfault sues Slashdot posters over fake lawsuit posts

DISASSOCIATED PRESS - Dozens were shocked today as popular geek humor site Segfault sued numerous posters to popular geek new site Slashdot over posts which they claim "directly infringe upon our content".
"Segfault has long since been the home for parodies of lawsuits. Why, even recently we had to politely hint that we've been recieving too many!" commented resident Segfault PR hack Bymer Klairich, "As such, if others create their own lawsuit parodies, this will severely damage our ability to ship our own version of the product. Effective immediately, we're going to shut those freeloaders down!"
Aside from "firewalling ports", "using block lists", and various other technical-sounding terms of various feasability, Segfault plans to begin enforcing its patent on fake lawsuits.
"Patent INT_MAX - 4, 'Method for cheap laughter involving legal parody of the USPTO' is clearly in violation here. As soon as we end the current fake lawsuit we're facing over it, we plan to prosecute these posters to the fullest extent of the law."

Disclaimer; this is a rumour and we all know about Apple rumors...

• Slashdot will get sued for posting it
• Rand Race will get sued for submitting it
• I'll get sued for posting a reply to it
• everyone else will get sued for reading it.

Other Slashdot artticles you may see today...

• Linux In A Shotglass
• Linux On An Amoeba
• How Many Penguins Can Dance On The Head Of A Pin?
• 1-Bit Linux

Linux in a box?
Linux on a wristwatch?
Suddenly the segfault story about linux on an transistor doesn't seem so ridiculous!
Maybe they can go further. Linux in a meson?