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People seem to have a lot of faith in Wikipedia...

I don't believe that...

Have a seat in the Comfy Chair non-believer.

What color hat do you get if you have Cocklaphobia (the fear of hats or headgear)? No really, it's actually called Cocklaphobia. I'm so not making this up. What do you mean you're offended?

You have Springter in Scotland?

Oh that sounds so nice. All we got here in Oregon is Second Winter.

I googled 'springter' and it's in the urban dictionary...

1. Springter

(noun) 1. when winter just won't let go and spring should be here but you're experiencing multiple blizzards and making more snowmen in one week than you did all winter 2. when you see green grass peeking through the snowpiles 3. when your windows are open to let in a fresh spring breeze but you are still wearing mittens and scraping your windshield.

On March 31st we had another blizzard, Springter is finally here!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Springter

:-0

[my surprised face]

Hmm... Looks a lot like an "o-face", but -- given that this is /. -- the similarity is to be expected.

Cajun food is one of the best ways to create a flavorful Dutch Oven that will truly impress the one you love.

double whoosh - your link goes to the definition of "define". Try this one:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dutch+Oven

Maybe you should look up the Urban Dictionary definition for assclown, assclown.

Whoosh?

One hour of brown noise every day? That's some enema!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=brown%20noise

I prefer to observe "steak and blowjob day" on 3/14.

Did the universe exist before you were born?

It's even more recent than that.

agnostic
An agnostic is a person who believes that the existence of a greater power, such as a god, cannot be proven or disproved; therefore an agnostic wallows in the complexity of the existence of higher beings.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=agnostic

Though, personally, I don't wallow (except when I want to), and I don't take it as given that "cannot" is true either. :)

Other fun stuff: you can be an agnostic and still believe (or disbelieve) in a god - you just recognise that a (dis)belief is all it is.

atheism
The belief that there was nothing and then nothing magically exploded for no reason, creating everything and then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself for no reason whatsoever into self-replicating bits which then became dinosaurs.

Atheism, like Christianity, makes perfect sense.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=atheism&defid=5923712

From Urban Dictionary:

Christianity
The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

Yeah, christianity makes sense.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=christianity&page=2

I've reported it to the city

Well, you have two legal choices apart from calling the city.

Go ahead.

Call the police and ask that they trigger it for you

If I'll be making these "flag me through" calls often, I'd have to put the PD's non-emergency number in my cell phone's speed dial and change from a pay-per-minute plan to a pay-per-month plan.

No, there's no [...] pedestrian call button.

after you trigger it to permit you to walk

How would I go about doing that?

I don't know of any states that have any exceptions for cyclists when it comes to red lights.

Google dead red law to see news stories about some states' exceptions for small , but I haven't been able to find a U.S.-wide list of these laws organized by state.

Walk signs actually mean cycle on through at top speed

I cycle on the road, not the sidewalk, to avoid several kinds of collision. On streets with a walk sign, I use the walk sign mostly to estimate how stale the green light is.

cyclists must dismount

Which state is that?

Yes, in many states it is LAW that slow vehicles MUST allow faster traffic to pass.

As I understand it, this happens when three motor vehicles are lined up behind a slow-moving vehicle. In such a case, I do yield the lane to motor vehicles.

How long before this technology succumbs to Internet Rule 34?

Believe it or not, I am serious with that answer.

• Porn was on the front line bringing credit card payments to the web.
• Its not universal, but they have single sign-on across there brand network.
• Guess who helped to bring video streaming, and video chat to the web... PORN.
• They would also love to get a standard for Virtual Reality.
• Most porn actresses/actor embrace social media.
• More people in the general public probably heard of Craigslist because of prostitution than any other reason. (not exactly porn, but related.)

Heck the web as a whole grew in no small part due to the existence of porn.

Is there a gaming equivalent to Rule 34? No, Rule 34 relates to internet porn.

Looking back even further, porn embraced VHS tapes before major movie studios ever did.

Compared to the games industry which only uses the web to force always on connections even for single player.

Instead of allowing people to play peer-to-peer online force people to join their online community only. (and will turn game servers off forcing your game to be useless.)

The same game industry which only recently and reluctantly allowed downloadable distribution.

Is it even a competition?!?, porn beats the gaming industry easily for embracing technology.

12345 is in the dictionary

I guess I'm old. I completely don't get the most popular definition. The one I'm familiar with, an idiotic luggage combination, is second.

You may want to research the following term: "slumming" http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slumming Getting some from the peasants is not an unknown activity.

Don't forget the patchouli, man.

Beehive
When your doing a girl from the ass, and before you cum you pull out and cum into her hair, and then with your penis you twirl her hair into a sticky hairdo resembling a beehive

while doing the prostitute in the anus i gave her a good ol' american Beehive!

Source http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=beehive

Theme #1, Programmer v. the LUSERS

All progress bars are doing great compared to the LUSERS.Simple put a progress bar is a piece of UI candy to amuse the LUSERS,

You are not supposed to cancel installs until the installation is complete. When LUSERS see the computer doing apparently nothing they try the universal reboot the system command. This leaves the system in an inconsistent state. Better give the LUSERS a few cookies now and then.

Theme #2, Congress must act

Lets get Congress to pass the âoeReliable Progress Bar Actâ, A Bill to supply the computing public will accurate time estimates on software installation (and for other purposes.)

Theme #3, Accurate progress bars have been patented and that patent is now owned by Bill Gates.

Theme #4, Progress Bars are always accurate on Beowulf Clusters

Theme #5,
        1) Make em watch the bar, 2) Sell Ads 3) Profit!

Why stop with just your real name? Barney Stinson doesn't.

Lets not start going on that slippery slope .

I see what you did there.

A device called "starfish" turns out to be vaporware? Color me surprised.

Verizon is like being in an abusive relationship with someone that is a BDSM freak that does not understand safe words...

Oh they understand safe words; they just want you to say them often and loudly.

• Verizon: Bring out the testicle clamps!
• Customer: Oh Crap! Flugan..basja..sbiner holzeen?
• Verizon: Do you mean Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen?

So many people misunderstand those "Can you hear me NOW?" ads ...

Call them all "Marklar". The individual will be clear by the context.

devices and go with iOS devices instead.

Wvery new malware that is released for Fuckle Assdroid just proves that Fuckle is the new M$ and Fuckle Assdroid is the Windoze of the mobile world. Apple iOS is far more secure than Windoze phone and Fuckle Assdroid could ever be. Don't think it can't happen in the US? Think again. With this the data usage will be causing users to be throttled due to hitting their data caps. Naturally this will get modded down because Slashdot is filled with Fuckle Assdroid Fanbois that love to get fucked in the ass, hence the term Fuckle Assdroid. So go ahead, flame on you Fuckle Assdroid loving, fudgepacking, twinkie sucking fucktarded shills of Fuckle.

And I've got diarrhea and a strong desire to leave a double-decker in every toilet in your house.

For what it's worth, the term you're looking for is Upper Decker.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Upper+Decker

Ballmer's pants are 200% full.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blivot

So now I have a mental image of hundreds of dead Neanderthals mooning us with silent reproach. THANK YOU. Now, where's my brain-bleech...

No one use IE any more.

Except there are many corporate intranets that are IE only. Hell, I've seen SharePoint 2010 instances that don't even play well with IE 9...

The proper spelling is "ShartPoint"

Go to that link. Really. Watch the video of ShartPoint in action.

On the other hand, no amount of Restricting (guns, Media, Video Games, ETC) is going to stop the Nut from Killing.

Not to go off on a tangent, but Everyone, Republicians and Democrats, are missing the Big Picture. Why These People do it. And the Answer Can be found in one word.

Fame

Consider the Following Two recent Suicide Incidents:

1) Aaron Swartz. Guy Hangs Himself in his apartment. News Media covers his death and moves on to Neal Armstrong and "All My Baby's Mommas". In two weeks, you won't here anything about that suicide other than what MIT figures out from it's investigation or on Tech Blogs.

2) Adam Lanza. Commits Suicide Via Gun After shooting up a School killing students. You'll be hearing this guys name for at least 10 years minimum.

The big issue here is if a nobody is thinking about committing suicide, and wants to go out as a somebody, all he has to do is strap on some Molotovs on his chest, run through a school chucking them in the middle of each classroom and blowing himself up in the cafeteria. One Crater and 10-30 Burned/Killed kids later, and his Smiling Face is all over the News Media for Months, Possibly Decades considering we're still Hearing about Harris and Klebold, yet most of you reading this couldn't name one victim of the Columbine Massacre off the top of your head unless you knew one.

Hell. There's even a Term for it. Aptly Called High Score. I'd bet Fox News would have a field day with that term if it hasn't already.

Again, it's not "bullshit," it's hundreds of thousands of entries like this one for "pirate"

Good Lord you can't even get the fucking lingo right with it staring you in the face. For your complete fangirl failure here is your sign and so you might actually learn something here is the definition so you may at least learn from your fail.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bullshit
http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/bullshit?q=bullshit

it sure would make it sound more human. just not the human you'd prefer.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=feltching

One word that is way more shocking than fuck, at least the urban dictionaries version of it is.... lol

objectively describe what is wrong using with references to either standard or internal best practices or conventions

are you implying that those criteria are objective?

I think the GP's "objectively" is referring to the analysis of code given references. Objectively describe which conventions have been violated, with the implication that the violations make the code bad.

Regarding the "best practices or conventions", any such document really needs to have thorough rationale and examples. Many conventions are very subtle or specific at first glance (or pointless and badong, in the case of the poorer conventions used). Every developer who didn't write that document is going to have a mental argument with most of the bullet points on such a document, and hopefully the rationale and examples can win back some of those arguments. Just like in math class, the authors need to show their work to get credit.

That name is just too funny:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lamo

You haven't been to a strip club in a while. Imagine tossing dollar coins at the girls?

Nobody uses $1 at strip clubs unless you're in Guatemala.

I also suppose you've never heard of the toonie slide.

Violence and realism are what sells these days

Tell that to the developers of VVVVVV and Minecraft.

However, my gaming experiences have never instilled in me a desire to go into a public place and empty a magazine.

As opposed to going into a private place and filling a magazine?

Helsinki Syndrome

A mental condition where the afflicted person is unable to distinguish between the countries of Sweden and Finland, despite the two being distinct from each other. This condition is usually a symptom of a lack of general geographic awareness.

Once upon a time I was helping a friend move his glass-blowing shop. A bunch of angry 'kids' were involved. One of them managed to stick a claw-hammer through a water main in the basement of the building. I didn't care who did it, or what drugs they were on, or if they were angry, or just stupid.

I had some management experience at that point in my life and tried to be diplomatic. My time was volunteered. If anything, I was simply doing a friend a favor. That all changed when the shit hit the fan.

The water was annoying at first. Attempts were made by a few to control the water.... They failed to contain the issue, because they failed to understand the scope of the problem. In part it was beyond their imagination, and in part it was beyond their scope of experience. They were a bunch of 'kids' that showed up to help a popular glass-blower. In general I was about 10 years older than any of them, the only thing they had on me is that some of them were significantly bigger than I am.

After some time of seeing others fail I envisioned a *solution* and tried to engage a few of the senior (read: *leadership*) members of the crew in that solution... they were already Tharn.
( http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tharn )

After a few moments reflection I went DI (Drill Instructor) on the whole crew. I ordered these people around, and shouted down anyone who opposed me. *most of whom did not know me*
It was a rough few hours. The water main had been bypassed years ago the 'kids' I brow beat into finding the mains found it but the valve was inoperative. The city was called, (by convincing a kid to call his girl and have her call in a water leak report) and the city eventually shut the water off. The cops were deflected, by me and the shop owner (who had the gift of knowing when he was out of his depth) The job was completed. No one was arrested or prosecuted. Mission accomplished.

I made some powerful friends. I made some bitter enemies. I do not regret the things I said, or did. No one else present had the balls to do what needed to be done. What I did worked, and that was for that brief time period was exactly what needed to happen.

Some of those 'kids' were so pissed by my 'harsh' approach that I was threatened, publicly shamed, and it let to a few really stubborn ass-hats getting their asses kicked. Two by me personally, (when they tried to jump me) and three others by people who realized I had been for that moment the most effective leader they had seen in their short lives.

Sometimes leadership does not appear until it is needed. I'm not going to say what Linus did is right or wrong. I have read the thread, but I don't think we have all the details. IMO: That man is a gifted leader. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. If this maintainer worked with Linus for four years, he knows the score... and knows what Linus expects. Nuff said.

If the majority involved in MY little moment of 'management under fire' had not agreed with me. I would not likely be writing this now. I'd have caught some bullets... that is the kind of crowd I was dealing with.

Happy New Years!

Publicly traded companies have to compete with other companies in the industry, and this competition is not only for customers but also for investors. The more investors are interested, the higher the share price will go, and the more money the company will raise when it issues more stock. To attract investors, many publicly traded companies promise to pay out some of their earnings as dividends. You want ISPs to put more of their earnings toward network upgrades instead of dividends, and I want a pony.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=USian

I am Canadian. Canada is in North America, which makes up approximately half of the Americas. Therefore I am American. I do not use Fahrenheit.
Fahrenheit is used in the United States of America, often referred to as 'The Unites States' or simply 'The US'. USian.

Celsius neatly boxes what water regularly experiences between the values 0 and 100 while managing to have the freezing point of water at 0.

See what I did there?

Talking about cheese is ALWAYS appropriate, in ANY context, and EATING cheese is even more appropriate.

Smegma discussion in 3...2...1...

Is it not suspicious also that their main feature is a little stick that gets bigger when you hold onto it. Admittedly it is a kickass weapon, but the feminist within would prefer if there was a less masculine option

Surely the feminist within enjoys watching a couple of guys trying to hit each other with theirs.

As much as I enjoy a good old apple bashing, anyone who trust their gps without checking the plausibility of the route is an utter fool.

So you're saying that people shouldn't trust a multibillion dollar company vs a company say tomtom whose worth a 1/500th (if not less)? meanwhile a company like Google which is supposedly valued at half the value of Apple can be trusted?

Considering that the very product in question used to be accurate and reliable only pushes the argument from "pretty shit" to "fucking terrible".

Yes, Apple had a flogging in the news about the map quality. Sufficed to say it shouldn't show you anything rather than wrong information. Therefore moving from "fucking terrible" to "pretty fucking dodgy shit".

You have to excuse the recursive nature of the term "shit" however I needed to specify the word "dodgy" to fully experience the gravity of the "crapulation" to which I'm trying to emphasize.

+1 DILLIGAF

Seriously, since when is this "News for Nerds"... This is just "Marketing for Plebs"

ShartPoint works, too.