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Linus Retiring from Kernel Dev
looflirpa writes "Here is a post from Linus Torvalds. Seems like he has had enough linux for now, and is searching for a new
leader for the linux kernel development. Certainly a shame, but everybody knew that this
had to happen, sooner or later" This also is your chance to voice who should
take the reins from the kernel's originator.
smoke a spliff, you ingrates.
first post
This is the first April Fools story I've seen so far that was actually funny.
I should've stayed offline today.
this is getting old and so are you
blog
why, cowboyneal. duh.
this is just getting old...
Recursive: Adj. See Recursive.
5v(k Mi |)1cK0!!
I hear that he is pretty good at kernel maintenance.
testing out my trending skills
is that the word shit appeared in the post. Linus doesn't talk shit.
Hot Damn! It's the Soggy Bottom Boys!
This is my kind of April Fool's joke.
At first you laugh.
Then you crap your pants.
--------
Bleah! Heh heh heh... BLEAH BLEAH!!! Ha ha ha ha...
Enough already. We got it. It's April 1. Haha. Very funny. Now, stop it!
Slagborr
The occasional April Fool's joke is funny, when it's mixed in with real content. But none of the ones posted so far today are funny enough to even stand out from the rest of the lameness.
Wake me up when it's April 2.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.
This also is your chance to voice who should take the reigns from the kernel's originator.
Taco's mom.
--saint
And in recent news, Bill Gates has left Microsoft concentrate his efforts on OpenBSD. Bill Gates is generously donating his full-time efforts to this project and no extra charge. The reason cited is that he was "sick of all the evil in the closed-source world, and he wanted to stop being viewed as Satan's right-hand-man." Ironically, the mascott of BSD is a devil... April Fools! Hahahahohohoheeheehee. I crack myself up... oh wait, no one else is laughing... [Slashdot crew finally gets it and stops posting april fools "jokes"] Please, refrain from violently sodomizing the dead horse.
get them all on weakest link and let them have a go at each other....
"Why did you vote for RMS?"
"He smells bad."
thanks for shopping....Oh look, a big shiny thing!
Sent from your iPad.
I saw it and said, "WHAT!?!?!?" good post man. I have a feeling Linus will stop hacking the kernel after he's dead.
"And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Savior of the World"
1 John 4:14
Who better to lead linux development than the creator of GNU? GNU/Linux should be lead by richard stallman.
If you use Linux, please help development of Autopac
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and this post is partially redundent, but what ever happened to the art of performing ONE GOOD April Fools day joke that actually has a chance of fooling someone with an IQ over 60?
Having so many April Fool's Day joke references on Slashdot, even if some of them would be good on their own, totaly cancels out the effectiveness of ALL OF THEM, making them just seem completely STUPID. The true joy of a good April's Fool Day joke isn't the perceived 'chortle-cleverness' of an obvious joke, but the reaction of those fooled into believing it. The Slashdot editors have robbed us of seeing any of this type of reaction post by stupidly linking to every semi-geek April Fool's Day joke on the web.
Next year how about one good April Fool's Day joke that is Slashdot specific and that might be somewhat ridiculous but also is somewhat in the realm of possibility, followed by a 'Quickie' post containing the good geeky April Fool's Day jokes from around the web on April 2nd?
...CmdrTaco gets the absolute shit beaten out of him by disgruntled readers. He should of listened to his audience when they complained of the uselessness of the fourth April Fools article, but Taco preceeded to post an addition twenty-three articles.
Good quote, too many chars. Seriously, the slashdot 120 char limit sucks!
I could have sworn that Linus was not just retiring, but also changing direction. I guess the editors didn't see it that way. :(
* 2002-04-01 18:39:37 Linus Announces Devotion To GNU/HURD (articles,linux) (rejected)
Why bother.
I don't see what you people are complaining about..
All the articles posted today are right on par quality-wise with the articles posted every other day!
I just wasted your mod points! HA!
Linus didnt claim to be dropping linux kernel development as a prerequesite to his new job working for microsoft.
Here is a post from Linus Torvalds. Seems like he has had enough linux for now
And here is a post from a Slashdot reader. Seems like he has had enough jokes for today.
Linus hasn't done a damn thing in years anyway. The real person behind the kernel is actually Linux Thorvald. That's why something like the VM fiasco happened. Linus wouldn't have done something stupid like that, but Linux Thorvald does a hundred things dumber than that before he eats breakfast. And, rumor has it that he's also dating Natalee Portam on the side.
If tits were wings it'd be flying around.
1. qt-console (I fell for this one
2. Apple for x86
3. Even google has one
4. ask slashdot is full of them!
Ebay's homepage was farged up
Someone should compile a list.
101010b 2Ah 52o
The voting just better not be via a slashdot poll, I think CowboyNeal would win out, and we all know that Bill Gates would be better for the Open Source/Linux/Etc front.
WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
That guy has developed some kick-ass kernels.
Nope, no sig
I just saw an article on CNET that said a mass email went out today to all Microsoft employees and MCSEs indicating that they *will* vote for Bill Gates, or their jobs/certs will be disposed of. That's a lot of votes; I think he'll win.
I'll propouse the same person Jirat has propoused.
Just like what he have answered here
-=-=-=-=
I know life isn't fair, but why can't it ever be un-fair in MY favor!?
Come on! If there was a real story out here today no one would believe it!
I wanted to see the Swedish Chef filter again. :(
At the next eco-hypocrisy-meeting, count the private jets used to get to the meeting. Should be interesting to see that
At least, if I were him I'd feel insulted. The other "candidates" may have their respective qualifications in operating system work, but for various reasons there is no way that they could be taken seriously.
The fact that Alan Cox has been put in the same list as the rest of these people makes it seem as though he has been marked as someone who will never take a leading role in linux.
Tarsnap: Online backups for the truly paranoid
Oh wait, for a second, I had forgotten what day it was. In that case, I hope Cowboyneal takes over as head honcho.
:-)
Its either him, or Steve Ballmer. Give it up for me!!!!!!!
But in a real situation of this, I'd like to see Alan Cox at the helm. Anyone who wear sunglasses as much as I do, has to be on the level.
--Nuintari
slashdot : where an opinion can be wrong.
That's it, goddammit, I'm switching to FreeBSD. Linux and Linus are just too damned disorganized.
Carousel is a lie!
Great. You have Slashdoted the guy who made Slashdot possible in the first place.
This is a bit like everyone on earth praying at the same time and causing a Praydot DDoS attack on God.
Ascii artist &
Please (o, please!) hand the April 1 Fooling to the trolls. Malda should contract the foolin' out next year to the /. trolls of his choice - that would be funny and cool. Unlike this year.
-- @rjamestaylor on Ello
And may April 1 be known from now on as your Birthday!!
Serves you right for being so attached towards April 1st.
Rapid Nirvana
I know. He's so pompus and concieted in that email. It's the most convincing part. If this weren't 1 April, I'd probably believe it.
Touch everywhere, even when inappropriate.
Then I won't need to spend $60 on codeweavers to run anything on it anymore. Does anything still run without Windows emulation?
Am I even bothering to hit the refresh button in the vain hope that there will actually be some news on here today? I know there must be some in here somewhere, but today I can't be bothered clicking on source links and reading far enough to try to ascertain what is real and what is 4/1 trash. I'm outta here until tomorrow.
Laws affecting technology will always be bad until enough techies become lawyers.
No, no, no. We all know it should be Monkey Boy - if he codes like he dances then his style will fit right in with the rest of the OSS junk.
Enough already. Please. It wasn't funny the first 30 times.
Easy does it!
This comment has been submitted already, 276865 hours , 59 minutes ago. No need to try again.
Alison
"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education." - Albert Einstein
The message was dated
Linus Torvalds (torvalds@transmeta.com)
Mon, 01 Apr 2002 00:00:00 -0700 (PDT)
the story posted here:
Posted by CmdrTaco on Monday April 01, @04:19PM
That's like 13-16 hours late, depending on your time zone. C'mon, Taco, you're slipping!
e) CowboyNeal
CowboyNeal is pretty much slashdot. Not a day goes by where he isnt a poll option. This man is more things than we could ever imagine. He is compared to every thing from 'The Who' to what kind of caffinee drink would make the best beowolf cluster. While his posts scream " I have no idea how to use a spell checker or read a story", I feel he will lead the rest of the team in these quality control issues. A vote for CowboyNeal is a vote against MS.
-Don't complain about lack of options. You've got to pick a few when you do multiple choice. Those are the breaks.
-This whole thing is wildly inaccurate. Rounding errors, ballot stuffers, dynamic IPs, firewalls.
-If you're using these numbers to do anything important, you're insane.
for allowing Linus to smoke weed and waste his time looking at Natalie Portman fan sites when he should have been working on maintaining the 2.2 branch..
Also the US gov declares war on Finland...
Rapid Nirvana
It's a DoS attack. Rather than a good rootshell exploit, he's instead decided to do the equivilent of SYN flooding.
I thought they all sucked.
24 hours
"What is the sound of one belly slapping?"
http://www.hebus.com/img.php?cat=info&dir=micro
Now this is one BSOD I would LOVE to get
----- Whats wrong with this picture? http://www.revoh.org:1234/whatswrong
This post is much more funny than the first one!
-=-=-=-=
I know life isn't fair, but why can't it ever be un-fair in MY favor!?
Is figuring out which story is real, not which is the joke.
Of course it's a fake. They traced it to Rik van Riel's IP.
Kill, Tux, kill!
Nothing happened today.
sulli
RTFJ.
There is more information available about Matt and his work here.
Now, go vote! And don't pick Pat Buchanan by mistake.
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
This is so sad...thank god there's a new, robust, inexpensive alternative to Linux:WheatoniX!
look at this one.
--- Sueños del Sur - a webcomic about four young siblings
I can just see RMS now, jumping up and down, flailing his arms, "No no no no! I am part of the Free Software movement, not..."
My favorite still has to be the reports that surfaced after the Gulf War that the US seeded Iraq with a bunch of virus loaded printers that caused the air defense system to shutdown on the appointed day.
The beauty of this was that the mainstream press picked it up, and reported it as fact...
Genius - The best work to come out of Infoworld...
Could we have some useful news today? Hell, it isn't even April 1st here. Why must the internet become useless for me on April 2nd?
Cheers Koz
Not only is he leaving but in this post he states that kernel 3.0 will be rewritten in Visual Basic! The email is as follows (for those too lazy to click the link):
Linus Torvalds (torvalds@transmeta.com)
Mon, 1 Apr 2002 15:35:02 -0500
Hi folks,
I have been dealing with maintaining Linux in a mixture of C and Assembler for over twelve years now. While it has been a lot of fun, every day dealing with these essentially dead languages has become harder and harder for me, and other programers seem to agree.
Thus, starting with Linux 3.0 (to be released hopefully by next summer), the kernel will be completely rewritten in the easy-to-use Visual Basic language. This will eliminate all issues involving buffer overruns, as well as streamlining porting of Windows programs to Linux, since Microsoft (who will now assume ownership of Linux) assure me that Windows is written entirely in VB as well.
Microsoft has also stated that they intend to incorporate Windows features, such as the RRS (Rapid Random Shutdown) in Windows 95, into Linux 3.0.
Linus
Comment removed based on user account deletion
- Grits: $1.05
- Pants: $17.50
- Natalie Portman RealDoll: $6,765.00
- Giving Everyone 'Moderator' Status on Slashdot?
Priceless!**>>BELCH
It could be worse. You could be an editor posting this stuff. The empty styrofoam coffee cups crushed underfoot mixed to the crunch of the drained beer cans. All the while the /. editors' mantra whines on... "I'm funny, I know funny...". Eyeing a roach and wondering why the intern is bogarting the last joint and thinking of joining the desperate in the staffroom sucking the last gas vapors from the whipping creme dispenser.
heuristic algorithm seeks stochastic relationship
If this wasn't an April Fool's day joke, and was for real, I'd say it should be run by a committee, not any single Individual. Perhaps 3 people. My choices would be:
Richard Stallman -- need someone to keep you true to your ideals
Eric Raymond -- need someone to keep it real, focus on selling business' on it
Alan Cox -- need someone with a proven record
social sciences can never use experience to verify their statemen
This sure made me luaghe for a while!
Sunny
BSD is about to die! They only have 7000 users! ;-)
News for Geeks in Austin, TX
You had me goin for a minute there.... don't do that! Gawd I hate April 1st. :D
Codifex Maximus ~ In search of... a shorter sig.
Rumor has it that Paramount is claiming ownership to WheatoniX because of some obscure clause in a contract you signed over 10 years ago, and plan on closing the source after it becomes successful and popular.
Barring that, I hope you didn't use any GNU tools with it, because then we'd all be forced by the Stallmanists to call it GNU/WheatoniX, which isn't exactly easy to pronounce, and adds too many syllables for most people.
"Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives" should be a convenience store, not a government agency.
Linus Torvalds has recently announced that he will begin producing, directing, and starring in his own series of adult movies. The first feature, said to be titled "I was a one balled bastard," will be filmed in Torvald's native Finland. Looking to streamline the masturbation process for his viewers, Torvalds is reportedly eliminating all evidence or suggestion of a plot from the film. In it Torvalds will repeatedly have sex with as many women as he can one after another until he either passes out or his genitals catch fire. Well known as the creator of the Linux Kernel, one of Torvalds' lesser known feats is being the first man to successfully drive a six inch nail into a block of wood with his penis without the use of viagra. This superhuman feat was accomplished before Torvalds married his lovely wife Tove. Whether or not the man with the carbon-steel cock can still drive it home now that he is getting regular shaggings from that hottie wife of his (as proven by their two children) is yet to be seen. His current lack of sexual frustration may inhibit his ability to maintain the die-cast erection that made history. Other future titles yet to be produced include "Return of the one balled bastard: LeRoy's revenge!" and "The one balled bastard in a turkish prison."
Not to be outdone by the dashing duke of open source, both Bill Gates and Steve Jobs will also be doing porn of their own. Gate's production company, Mine-mine-mine films, will begin principal photography in May on the film titled "Lolita II: the corruption of Mary Jane." Gates will play the title role of Mary Jane, a 13 year old girl who surrenders her virtue to lecherous old man Tanner who lives down the lane, to be played by William Shatner. Jobs' production company, fuck different inc., will produce an art house film in which Jobs, while tripping on a 12 person dose of LSD, is repeatedly sodomized by a train of burly men dressed as nuns while reciting the pledge of allegiance in Norwegian.
Muslim community leaders warn of backlash from tomorrow morning's terrorist attack.
http://marc.theaimsgroup.com/?l=linux-kernel&m=101 770381312800&w=2
If only this wasn't an april fools joke, the world could rejoice. Linus is a terrible kernel maintainer, he should learn something about Quality Assurance.. leave stable kernels alone!! :)
"All your april fool are belong to us!"
All your funny are belong to a year ago!
Someone set up us the dead horse!
You have no chance to be funny make your time!
Karma: Non-Heinous
i think it should be al gore simply because of his excellent work on the IP stack...
-- This space for lease, low setup fee, inquire within!
You've got to LOVE the quality of the prank then... 10 years later people still believe it...
My work is done