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Periodic Table Table

Posted by chrisd on from the and-soon-settees-for-science dept.

Ed Pegg Jr writes "Theo Gray, a co-creator of Mathematica, was originally a chemist. Needing a conference table, he created a Periodic Table using a variety of woods." It seems Theo is missing some elements for the table, in case you have any spare europium (in a proper container, of course) lying about. This isn't Theo's first piece of furniture. It looks like he has left a few spots for new elements, and it is nicely modular, in the event an element is found not to exist.

65 of 201 comments (clear)

  1. It's the modern form by os2fan · · Score: 2
    It would have been interesting for links to the history of the table. All it is is a table in the shape of a form of the periodic table.



    It's too square to be a real periodic table, so there's some fudging in it as well.

    --
    OS/2 - because choice is a terrible thing to waste.
    1. Re:It's the modern form by JabberWokky · · Score: 2
      Chlorine can certinly be stored in a safe sealed container. As can uranium and several of the radioactives. Your desk would go up a few rads and couldn't be transported without documentation, but it would likely be less radiation than a picnic table in Denver. A few milligrams of something embedded in a lead puck isn't gonna kill you, even if you use it as your personal workdesk.

      --
      Evan

      --
      "$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
  2. Should sell these... by rockwellpa · · Score: 2, Interesting

    This would be great for science class.

  3. Doc said... by grung0r · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I'm sure in 1985 Plutonium can be bought in every corner drug store, but in 1955, it's a little hard to come by."

  4. Well by weird+mehgny · · Score: 3, Funny

    For optimal effect you must use the right plancks or else your table may not work correctly with present theories regarding quantum mechanics.

  5. I too... by mgblst · · Score: 5, Funny

    am constructing a Periodic Table, and i am just short of a few elemnets, Au and Ag, so if anybody has any spare, can they send them to me. Perferably in an appropriate conatiner, say a large truck.

    Here we can see Theo Gray hard at work.

    1. Re:I too... by Graff · · Score: 3, Funny

      I would gladly give you as much Au or Ag as you want in exchange for you giving me an equal mass of Pt. Heck, I'll even throw in 30 or 40 pounds of Fe (may be slightly impure and oxidized) to sweeten the deal!

      --
      Sapere aude!
    2. Re:I too... by dmaxwell · · Score: 2

      My table is almost complete as well. I've got several tons of U238 sitting around that I'll gladly trade for 20 pounds or so of Pu239.

      Say, anybody know where I can find some polonium?

  6. Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by happyhippy · · Score: 3, Insightful

    ..... whose half life is measured in seconds. The heavy artifical ones.

    1. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by larien · · Score: 2

      There is a comment to the effect that he has samples of the elements it is safe to store; hence it's unlikely to contain Uranium etc (or are there non-radioactive isotopes of Uranium?). Given the volatility of Sodium and similar elements, they're unlikely to be there unless he has some secure containers for them.

    2. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by Ryan+Amos · · Score: 2

      There is depleted uranium, which iirc is used for tank armor as it's fucking hard as hell. Only downside is that it's also heavy as hell, thus why an M1A3 tank weighs something like 70 tons. Of course, I just could have watched too much anime and be totally wrong...

    3. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by dvdeug · · Score: 3, Informative

      Honestly, uranium, like any other element with a half-life in the billions of years really isn't all that dangerous, except in large quantities. He could put a small sample in, especially if he wrapped it with lead.

      Interestingly enough, when I ran Uranium through dict, it came up with an entry from the 1913 Webster's dictionary discussing how a yellow oxide was used to tint glass (with the fluorescence an added bonus), and a black oxide used for porcelain. While that wasn't such a great idea, it shows how uranium isn't an instant kill; there are probably people still alive who used glass or porcelain with uranium in it.

    4. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by larien · · Score: 2
      Depleted Uranium is used to get through tank armour; it's used as ammo in the A-10 Warthog's 30mm cannon.

      However, it's also fairly poisonous, and the subject of ongoing investigations after the Gulf War where it was used extensively. The problem seems to be that it disintigrates into powder on impact which is easily breathed in and causes problems. However, I'd imagine a solid lump encased properly would be fairly safe.

    5. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by hij · · Score: 2
      Uranium itself is not so bad. The only issue is that it is extremely (chemically) reactive. It can be difficult to get it in the form that you want. The real problem with uranium is the daughter products. There is some amount of uranium compounds in rocks and such. However, one of the daughter products, radon, is a problem. WHen it decays it can be inside your body because it is a gas, and its decay is associated with a more dangerous form of particle.

      So if you use uranium for your table make sure you ventialte the room!

      --
      Believe nothing -- Buddha
    6. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by sphealey · · Score: 2
      Honestly, uranium, like any other element with a half-life in the billions of years really isn't all that dangerous, except in large quantities.
      Actually, natural and/or depleted uranium is only dangerous in very small quantities, which is to say: dust. In the solid form uranium is very hard and tough, and it makes a good alloy for situations where a dense, hard, tough material is needed.

      In fact, uranium used to be used as an alloy in ceramic tooth fillings to add the slight yellow tinge of real enamel. Properly alloyed it is no danger to the owner of the tooth.

      Uranium dust, however, besides being highly flammable, is toxic (like all heavy metals).

      sPh

    7. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by 5KVGhost · · Score: 2

      Good point. I bet most people don't realize that sodium is so volatile. The shocking lack of sodium taught at schools today is shocking.

    8. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by larien · · Score: 2

      IIRC, it's usually stored in some kind of oil. At least, ISTR that's what we were taught back in school.

  7. One question... by QuantumFTL · · Score: 3, Funny

    Needing a conference table, he created a Periodic Table

    Then wood this be a meta-table?
    *ducks*

    Justin

    1. Re:One question... by Alsee · · Score: 2

      "Upgrade your spiritual bandwidth: pray!"

      OPEN CONNECTION: Pray
      SYN-SENT
      Waiting...
      ACK NOT RECIEVED, RETRYING
      SYN-SENT
      Waiting...
      ACK NOT RECIEVED, RETRYING
      SYN-SENT
      Waiting...
      ACK NOT RECIEVED, CLOSING CONNECTION
      CONNECTION FAILED: HOST UNREACHABLE OR DOES NOT EXIST.

      -

      --
      - - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
  8. I hope this thing stands up to the elements. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting

    No, not those elements.

    I hope he has a humidity /temperature controled place to store this thing. Pieces that combine dissimaler woods don't tend to last very long due to diffrent rates of expansion/contraction when they are exposed to temperature and humidity changes. They tend to break along the seems.

    That's why you never securely bolt down butcher-block. You just drill an oversized hole and let it float on the stand.

    1. Re:I hope this thing stands up to the elements. by gorilla · · Score: 2

      It looks like the structure of the table is made only from one wood. The different woods are only the caps for the compartments.

    2. Re:I hope this thing stands up to the elements. by borgillel · · Score: 3, Informative

      That seriously depends on the construction techniques. An understanding of the way wood moves according to humidity and temperature changes can greatly aid a woodworker in engineering a piece of furniture that will last, regardless of the materials used. In this case, it appears that most of the various different type wood pieces used in his table are free to move around much like little cabinet doors that contain a gap to allow for wood movement. The one thing that concerns me about the design is the checkerboard pattern of drilled-out blocks that he uses for the tabletop. Because the pieces are so large, I'm not sure if the opposing shear forces wouldn't eventually force the blocks to separate.

      This guy seems to have a set of tools that most professional woodworkers would love to have, including that nice little Wood-Mizer sawmill and an enormous shop. But the thing that makes me wonder about how accomplished a woodworker he is comes when you take notice of the time-stamps on the pictures. On 11-18-2000, there is a picture of him milling a log, presumably the one that he is going to use for the table. Then *two* days later, he is cutting and laying out pieces for the project! As most woodworkers know, this is a serious no-no, as freshly milled wood often needs many months of curing time. Even kiln-dried wood (which some regard as inferior), needs at least a week or so to adjust to the humidity conditions of a shop before you start working with it.

    3. Re:I hope this thing stands up to the elements. by TheodoreGray · · Score: 5, Informative

      I'm not sure which time stamps you're looking at, but actually the log was cut over a year before being worked, and it was dried at least semi-properly. Also, that log was maple used only for the noble gas element tiles, not for the body of the table. The body of the table is walnut that was sawn in 1993 and actually kiln dried twice at the yard before I got it at auction. (Oh and by the way, the Wood-Mizer isn't mine, but I wish it were....)

  9. Re:something i'd like to see by ProfMoriarty · · Score: 2, Informative
    Actually, the elements are UNDER the wooden tiles containing the names, symbol, etc.

    Lower on the page, there is a cup-like storage container ... and the wooden tile atop and askew of it.

    --
    Karma? Karma? I don't need no stinkin' karma.
  10. Added bonus... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    If you put your plate on highly radioactive elements, your food will stay warm.

  11. PARENT IS A TROLL by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Don't listen to him, he's trying to fool you into sending him GOLD!!!! Don't fall for it!

    1. Re:PARENT IS A TROLL by grytpype · · Score: 2, Offtopic

      Damn. I was fixin to send him a bunch, too. Thanks for the warning.

      --

      - Have a picture

  12. Finally, a challenge! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    As a chemist, I've always prided myself as having the most unusual periodic table - I wear only boxer shorts that have the periodic table printed all over them (my collegues no longer ask me for reference information due to my undressing to look up values too many times...). This table though does me one better - bravo! I shall now have to find an even geekier chic periodic table - the guantlet has been thrown, I accept the challenge!

  13. He needs a Lanthanide & Actinide drop leaf by Wee · · Score: 2, Interesting
    It would have been really cool to have the Lanthanides and Actinides come out as part of a "drop leaf" thing. Hell, I don't know what you call it... like the TV tray thing for lazy people attached by articulated arms to the underside on some tables. You could have these sets of elements on such an arm so that you could move them up and out.

    You could also have them make a bi-level sort of table. Just take the two rows and attach them on little dowels to the top of the table at a 45 degree angle so they come up and out. You could set plants on that part maybe. Put some glowing Thinkgeek light strips (or flourescent lights) in the little cubbies, pretend there are rare earths in there, and scare the neighborhood kids. Be a real safe place to hide your stash I bet. Every neighborhood has the haunted house/spooky old man thing. This guy has the glowing radioactive table. "Trick or Treat? Reach in there for your candy Billy..."

    'Course the table is incredibly cool without my Monday morning engineering. Well done.

    -B

    --

    Ash and Hickory, straight-grained and true, make excellent bludgeons, dandy for the cudgeling of vegetarians.

  14. I tried a similar project. by Captain+Nitpick · · Score: 5, Funny

    I tried making a mandelbrot set table once.

    I gave up because it seemed like there was always an endless amount of detail work left to do.

    --
    But then again, I could be wrong.
    1. Re:I tried a similar project. by infinite9 · · Score: 2

      Oh, it's furniture. I thought he was making a table of tables. The last thing I want to do is dereference this thing with a pointer.

      --
      Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
  15. This Guy Built The Periodic Table Table... by dupper · · Score: 2, Funny
    Here's the Periodic Periodic Table

    This week's installment:

    • Name: hydrogen
    • Symbol: H
    • Atomic number: 1
    • Atomic weight: 1.00794 (7) g m r

    stay tuned next week for: Helium

  16. Yes but.... by Llanfairpwllgwyngyll · · Score: 2

    When do these appear on ThinkGeek?

  17. I do not care by abolith · · Score: 2, Insightful

    what anyone else says, but to make a FUCKING BADASS table like those two takes a woodworking skill on a high level. something most of us will never get. I would love to be able to make something like that, but I am limited to case mods and such things.

    --
    if you want "No More Hiroshimas" then I say "You First. No More Pearl Harbors."
  18. last one at the table by lxs · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...gets the "uranium seat" (it's just a name son, don't worry about it)

  19. Bad Pun. by DarkHelmet · · Score: 2
    It seems Theo is missing some elements for the table, in case you have any spare europium (in a proper container, of course) lying about.

    Oh, I'm sorry, I seemed to have left my container in Europe.

    --
    /^[A-Z0-9._%+-]+@[A-Z0-9.-]+\.[A-Z]{2,4}$/i
    1. Re:Bad Pun. by tps12 · · Score: 2
      Oh, I'm sorry, I seemed to have left my container in Europe.

      Dude, that isn't a pun. Europium is named after Europe.

      A pun would be, e.g., "Sorry, Europium was already smoked by the Slashdot moderators."

      --

      Karma: Good (despite my invention of the Karma: sig)
  20. Re:something i'd like to see by Rolo+Tomasi · · Score: 2, Funny
    Yeaheaheah seen that kid on the table? Where's the picture where he opens the plutonium box?

    And of course, some elements only have a half-life of a few microseconds, must be a PITA replacing them.

    "Damn, all that Actinium 219 is gone ... back to the Synchrotron again."

    --
    Did you know you can fertilize your lawn with used motor oil?
  21. In a few days... by Emil+Brink · · Score: 5, Funny

    when some other esteemed editor reposts this, it'll be the Periodic Periodic Table Table story, and I will be even happier. ;^)

    --
    main(O){10<putchar(4^--O?77-(15&5128 >>4*O):10)&&main(2+O);}
  22. Other periodic tables... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting
    From a recent posting on memepool by urog. I don't think I could have said it any better myself.

    By adulthood, Mendeleev's periodic table of the elements is firmly planted in a typical mind either as a tool for study or proof of mystical forces at work in nature. There are alternative structures: some clever and others using alternate media, extensions to the table providing nuclear structure, fermi surfaces, and line spectra.

    Still others are extraordinarily cross-thematic, merging chemistry with comic books, poetry or haiku. But only the grouping-nature of the columns is retained in rejected elements, condiments and beer. Eventually the elements and the periodic qualities have been lost entirely, reducing the periodic table to a design template for topical lists of funk and rock music, comedy and TV shows, famous mathematicians and presidents, even SGI products. Soon a complete breakdown of the scientific aspect yields no similarity to the original, becoming a glorified table, a marketing tool, or hype itself. There is mounting evidence of a conspiracy.


    1. Re:Other periodic tables... by TheodoreGray · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Funny you should mention Uncle Tungsten.... I built the table under discussion because I mis-read the first paragraph of the chapter where he discusses the "table" in the museum. For about 10 seconds while reading I though he was talking about a horizontal table, not a vertical frame on the wall. By the time I figured out I was confused, it was too late, I knew I had to build such a table. Theodore

  23. Occasional Table of Elelments by Te1waz · · Score: 2, Funny

    Are there any occasional elements out there?

    I'd like an occasional table...

    --
    From my Autobiography - "Lifestyles of the Sad and Desperate"...
    1. Re:Occasional Table of Elelments by Reziac · · Score: 2

      I designed an occasional table. But most of the time it's a footstool. ;)

      --
      ~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
  24. Hmmm. by Gannoc · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Hey, nice table!"
    "Thanks, it took me several w... OH JESUS CHRIST NO, DON'T OPEN THAT!"

    (screaming and choking as they both inhale florine gas)

    (dying breath): "Just...wanted...to...be...thorough.."

    1. Re:Hmmm. by gorilla · · Score: 2

      Florine gas is very hard to have around. It's so reactive, you end up with xx floride instead.

  25. Re:Id like to see him try to store the elements.. by irlbinky · · Score: 2, Funny

    ..... whose half life is measured in seconds. The heavy artifical ones.

    After reading the original article I looked up the periodical table. I decided to find out which element officially has the highest Atomic Number. Ununbium has an atomic number of 112, but more intrestingly has a half-life of 240 microseconds.

    Picture him removing the lid to show a friend (both in Radiation suits) - "It was here a second ago" :-)

  26. Bulk samples of Wierd Elements by Catmeat · · Score: 2, Interesting
    A while back I was looking around for a kilo of Tungsten for a paperweight/curiosity as it seems to be the densest stuff you can get that's neither radioactive nor hyper-expensive. It's 19.25g/cc which is a lot considering lead is 11.34g/cc. A 1 kg block is going to be about 3x4x4 cm. It seems to worth about US$200 a kg.

    Anybody got any ideas where to get some from?

  27. Tom Lehrer by XNormal · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Now, if I may digress momentarily from the mainstream of this evening's symposium, I'd like to sing a song which is completely pointless, but is something which I picked up during my career as a scientist. This may prove useful to some of you some day, perhaps, in a somewhat bizarre set of circumstances. It's simply the names of the chemical elements set to a possibly recognizable tune. "

    The elements

    --
    Stop worrying about the risks of nuclear power and start worrying about the risks of not using nuclear power.
  28. All elements exist in the table. by Saggi · · Score: 2, Informative

    ...in the event an element is found not to exist

    The periodic table is build in such a way that no "non-existing" will be missed. The table is like a matrix mapping the content of the atom core. (Protons and neutrons). And the matrix would have holes if elements were missing.

    When the table was first constructed, the discovery of several elements was actually missing, as appeared as holes in the table. The chemist was hunting for these atoms, and all the holes have been found today - proving the concept of the table.

    Very heavy atoms may be very unstable and appear in the end of the table. To this "list" new atoms may be added, when they are "found" (constructed is a better word). But these atoms are so unstable due to their size that they will never be found in nature and can defiantly not be placed physically in the table, as they can only exist in microseconds.

    --
    -:) Oh no - not again.
    www.rednebula.com
  29. This is SO cool by Bakajin · · Score: 2, Funny

    The triangle table kicks ass also! I sooo wish I could spend my whole life working on projects like this. Not tables, per se, but any little fanciful project I dream up. For instance, a lego statue of Seven of Nine.... oh god, its true what the bullies said. I AM a loser. I actually think a periodic table table is clever and cool!

    --

    [news for me, stuff that doesn't matter]

  30. Kramer would be proud by mikosullivan · · Score: 2

    This reminds me of Cosmo Kramer's coffee table book about coffee tables that folds out to become a coffee table.

    --
    Miko O'Sullivan
  31. The problem is that the table is unstable by mikosullivan · · Score: 3, Funny

    The left side of the table is nice and stable, but the right side keeps wanting to explode. Maybe he should combine some of the elements on the right side to stabilize it.

    --
    Miko O'Sullivan
  32. Re:something i'd like to see by jgerman · · Score: 2

    My buddy is a chemist, we've been talking about building a periodic table for years. The tile idea is also a good one though I'll have to suggest it to him.

    --
    I'm the big fish in the big pond bitch.
  33. After viewing the photos... by fritter · · Score: 2

    All I can say is that Theodore Gray is a genius. A career in chemistry, inventing Mathematica, and now building this Periodic Table...all while still a toddler! I predict big things for this little guy once he hits puberty.

  34. Re:fine ass table by tps12 · · Score: 2
    :O)

    Holy moly.

    --

    Karma: Good (despite my invention of the Karma: sig)
  35. odd shape by Suppafly · · Score: 2

    I think if it were me, I would have filled in the huge gaps at the top with blank squares to make it have a nice shape so that it could be used in a dining room or something.. all that work for an oddly shaped table makes it hard to show off well.

  36. Europium by gdyas · · Score: 2

    Theo is missing some elements for the table, in case you have any spare europium (in a proper container, of course) lying about.

    You can get Europium Oxide from Sigma-Aldrich Chemicals. About $162 for 10g. It's an oxide of the element, but it's stable.

    --

    The only tool you've got against psychosis is experience.

  37. Cosmos by Sebastopol · · Score: 2


    Anyone remember the episode of Cosmos (ca. 1981) when Carl Sagan examines a table exactly like this, except with a small, corked bottles containing each element? It was about 3x3 feet, but it was missing samples of the radioactive stuff. That inspired me to study the periodic table at age 10.

    --
    https://www.accountkiller.com/removal-requested
  38. this is old news by ellem · · Score: 2

    it was posted on Home/Depot a month ago...

    (psst I hear he's baking the Lanathanum... La!)

    --
    This .sig is fake but accurate.
  39. Re:Haiku by daeley · · Score: 2

    Well, oddly enough
    A Periodic Table
    of Haiku exists

    --
    I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
  40. Re:Haiku by ShavenYak · · Score: 2

    Thank you for the link
    It was quite entertaining
    I must bookmark it

    --

    Hey kids, there's only 5 days left 'til Yak Shaving Day!
  41. Re:Bulk samples of Wierd Elements by sphealey · · Score: 2
    A while back I was looking around for a kilo of Tungsten for a paperweight/curiosity
    As long as you don't mind being on FBI/Interpol watch lists for the rest of your life, since metallic tungsten is used in the construction of 2-stage nuclear devices.

    sPh

  42. Missing an element... by Amazing+Quantum+Man · · Score: 2


    I didn't see Eludium Phosdex (the shaving cream atom) in his table!

    --
    Fascism starts when the efficiency of the government becomes more important than the rights of the people.
  43. Re:Bulk samples of Wierd Elements by edremy · · Score: 2
    I've got a M392A2 105mm sabot round on my desk-one of the older spin stabilized warshots. Heavy as hell- I love handing it to people and watching the reaction. The penetrator is tungsten carbide, not DU, but I'm looking for one of those... It's next to the rotating despin ring from a practice HEAT round, but that's only aluminum.

    Ah, the joys of keeping military hardware around a small, all-women liberal arts college :^)

    Eric

    --
    "Seven Deadly Sins? I thought it was a to-do list!"
  44. Re:University of Illinois tie in... by nucal · · Score: 2

    Then you may also know that the original name for Technicium was Illinium!