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Periodic Table Table

Posted by chrisd on from the and-soon-settees-for-science dept.

Ed Pegg Jr writes "Theo Gray, a co-creator of Mathematica, was originally a chemist. Needing a conference table, he created a Periodic Table using a variety of woods." It seems Theo is missing some elements for the table, in case you have any spare europium (in a proper container, of course) lying about. This isn't Theo's first piece of furniture. It looks like he has left a few spots for new elements, and it is nicely modular, in the event an element is found not to exist.

143 of 201 comments (clear)

  1. Not such a big deal ... by Scotch+Game · · Score: 1

    Elementary.

  2. It's the modern form by os2fan · · Score: 2
    It would have been interesting for links to the history of the table. All it is is a table in the shape of a form of the periodic table.



    It's too square to be a real periodic table, so there's some fudging in it as well.

    --
    OS/2 - because choice is a terrible thing to waste.
    1. Re:It's the modern form by CProgrammer98 · · Score: 1

      It's a bit more than that. There's a sample of each stable element stored it's relevant place on the table. Look at the pictures - there's a LOT of work in there!

      --
      And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbour Isaiah 3:5
    2. Re:It's the modern form by JabberWokky · · Score: 2
      Chlorine can certinly be stored in a safe sealed container. As can uranium and several of the radioactives. Your desk would go up a few rads and couldn't be transported without documentation, but it would likely be less radiation than a picnic table in Denver. A few milligrams of something embedded in a lead puck isn't gonna kill you, even if you use it as your personal workdesk.

      --
      Evan

      --
      "$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
  3. Should sell these... by rockwellpa · · Score: 2, Interesting

    This would be great for science class.

  4. something i'd like to see by AnimeFreak · · Score: 1

    Is someone's kitchen or bathroom tiled in ceramic tiles each containing an element.

    I can see it now "I WILL WALK OVER YOU LEAD!"

    1. Re:something i'd like to see by ProfMoriarty · · Score: 2, Informative
      Actually, the elements are UNDER the wooden tiles containing the names, symbol, etc.

      Lower on the page, there is a cup-like storage container ... and the wooden tile atop and askew of it.

      --
      Karma? Karma? I don't need no stinkin' karma.
    2. Re:something i'd like to see by Rolo+Tomasi · · Score: 2, Funny
      Yeaheaheah seen that kid on the table? Where's the picture where he opens the plutonium box?

      And of course, some elements only have a half-life of a few microseconds, must be a PITA replacing them.

      "Damn, all that Actinium 219 is gone ... back to the Synchrotron again."

      --
      Did you know you can fertilize your lawn with used motor oil?
    3. Re:something i'd like to see by jgerman · · Score: 2

      My buddy is a chemist, we've been talking about building a periodic table for years. The tile idea is also a good one though I'll have to suggest it to him.

      --
      I'm the big fish in the big pond bitch.
  5. Doc said... by grung0r · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I'm sure in 1985 Plutonium can be bought in every corner drug store, but in 1955, it's a little hard to come by."

    1. Re:Doc said... by dimator · · Score: 1, Offtopic

      What a great movie. In my top 5, for sure.

      --
      python -c "x='python -c %sx=%s; print x%%(chr(34),repr(x),chr(34))%s'; print x%(chr(34),repr(x),chr(34))"
    2. Re:Doc said... by benjymous · · Score: 1

      And coming soon to DVD, according to bttfmovie.com

      :-)

      --
      Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!
    3. Re:Doc said... by codexus · · Score: 1

      Great Scott! Best news of the day! Thanks for sharing the info. I have the trilogy on laserdisc but a DVD is much better :)

      --
      True warriors use the Klingon Google
    4. Re:Doc said... by Zathrus · · Score: 1

      Wow... they've only been dropping rumors about (and falsely announcing) its release for the past THREE YEARS.

      Sigh... glad to see it's finally coming, and hopefully they'll do it right. Too many of the early releases were disservices to the movies and the fans.

  6. Well by weird+mehgny · · Score: 3, Funny

    For optimal effect you must use the right plancks or else your table may not work correctly with present theories regarding quantum mechanics.

  7. Its a pity.... by happyhippy · · Score: 1, Redundant
    ...he doesnt describe how he plans to store the materials he already has for it.

    And wouldnt it be mostly simply blocks of glass with invisible gas inside?

  8. I too... by mgblst · · Score: 5, Funny

    am constructing a Periodic Table, and i am just short of a few elemnets, Au and Ag, so if anybody has any spare, can they send them to me. Perferably in an appropriate conatiner, say a large truck.

    Here we can see Theo Gray hard at work.

    1. Re:I too... by Graff · · Score: 3, Funny

      I would gladly give you as much Au or Ag as you want in exchange for you giving me an equal mass of Pt. Heck, I'll even throw in 30 or 40 pounds of Fe (may be slightly impure and oxidized) to sweeten the deal!

      --
      Sapere aude!
    2. Re:I too... by dmaxwell · · Score: 2

      My table is almost complete as well. I've got several tons of U238 sitting around that I'll gladly trade for 20 pounds or so of Pu239.

      Say, anybody know where I can find some polonium?

    3. Re:I too... by trixillion · · Score: 1

      and I'll trade you your Pt for an equal amount of Rh :)

  9. Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by happyhippy · · Score: 3, Insightful

    ..... whose half life is measured in seconds. The heavy artifical ones.

    1. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by larien · · Score: 2

      There is a comment to the effect that he has samples of the elements it is safe to store; hence it's unlikely to contain Uranium etc (or are there non-radioactive isotopes of Uranium?). Given the volatility of Sodium and similar elements, they're unlikely to be there unless he has some secure containers for them.

    2. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by Ryan+Amos · · Score: 2

      There is depleted uranium, which iirc is used for tank armor as it's fucking hard as hell. Only downside is that it's also heavy as hell, thus why an M1A3 tank weighs something like 70 tons. Of course, I just could have watched too much anime and be totally wrong...

    3. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by dvdeug · · Score: 3, Informative

      Honestly, uranium, like any other element with a half-life in the billions of years really isn't all that dangerous, except in large quantities. He could put a small sample in, especially if he wrapped it with lead.

      Interestingly enough, when I ran Uranium through dict, it came up with an entry from the 1913 Webster's dictionary discussing how a yellow oxide was used to tint glass (with the fluorescence an added bonus), and a black oxide used for porcelain. While that wasn't such a great idea, it shows how uranium isn't an instant kill; there are probably people still alive who used glass or porcelain with uranium in it.

    4. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by larien · · Score: 2
      Depleted Uranium is used to get through tank armour; it's used as ammo in the A-10 Warthog's 30mm cannon.

      However, it's also fairly poisonous, and the subject of ongoing investigations after the Gulf War where it was used extensively. The problem seems to be that it disintigrates into powder on impact which is easily breathed in and causes problems. However, I'd imagine a solid lump encased properly would be fairly safe.

    5. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by -ryan · · Score: 1

      It's not necessarily used for its hardness but rather it's density and weight. For instance, an arrow shot from a compound bow at about 15ft per second can puncture a bullet proof vest but a bullet traveling at 1500ft/s cannot. The difference being that an arrow puts about 2000 grains (a weight measurement) in a spot the diameter of a .22 caliber bullet, whereas a typical bullet (about the same size) is anywehere from 50 to 200 grain. A few gun smith friends of mine explained to me how you can puncture an inch of tank armor (fucking amazing) from a (granted almost point blank) 100yards with a .50 cal depleted uranium round fired from a BMG (.50 cal sniper rifle), granted you'd have to use high velocity powder.

    6. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by hij · · Score: 2
      Uranium itself is not so bad. The only issue is that it is extremely (chemically) reactive. It can be difficult to get it in the form that you want. The real problem with uranium is the daughter products. There is some amount of uranium compounds in rocks and such. However, one of the daughter products, radon, is a problem. WHen it decays it can be inside your body because it is a gas, and its decay is associated with a more dangerous form of particle.

      So if you use uranium for your table make sure you ventialte the room!

      --
      Believe nothing -- Buddha
    7. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by R2.0 · · Score: 1

      "Given the volatility of Sodium and similar elements, they're unlikely to be there unless he has some secure containers for them."

      I worked for a guy that used to keep sticks of metallic sodium in a 5 gallon bucket filled with kerosene. Whenever the grounhogs on his property started getting uppity, he'd pull out a couple of sticks, stuff them down the hole, and stand 20' away and hit it with the garden hose. After a satisfying explosion (and resultant crater), the grounhogs laid low for a while.

      --
      "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
    8. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by sphealey · · Score: 2
      Honestly, uranium, like any other element with a half-life in the billions of years really isn't all that dangerous, except in large quantities.
      Actually, natural and/or depleted uranium is only dangerous in very small quantities, which is to say: dust. In the solid form uranium is very hard and tough, and it makes a good alloy for situations where a dense, hard, tough material is needed.

      In fact, uranium used to be used as an alloy in ceramic tooth fillings to add the slight yellow tinge of real enamel. Properly alloyed it is no danger to the owner of the tooth.

      Uranium dust, however, besides being highly flammable, is toxic (like all heavy metals).

      sPh

    9. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by distributed.karma · · Score: 1
      > there are probably people still alive who used glass or porcelain with uranium in it.

      Yes, but every person who ate potatoes in the 16th century is now dead. Does that mean potatoes are lethal?

      --

      --
      If you moderate this, then your children will be next.

    10. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by 5KVGhost · · Score: 2

      Good point. I bet most people don't realize that sodium is so volatile. The shocking lack of sodium taught at schools today is shocking.

    11. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by nelsonal · · Score: 1

      Ironically, almost all parts of the potato plant, including the eyes, are posionous. The plant being a relative of the nightshade. One of the earliest importers of potato plants to Europe's servants ate the red berries on a plant and nearly died.

      --
      Degaussing scares the bad magnetism out of the monitor and fills it with good karma.
    12. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by banking_intern · · Score: 1

      Depleated uranium or DU is quite safe. While working at enron I had a nice paperweight made out of the stuff. Kept those papers down REAL good. It is very similar to lead, don't lick it or eat DU dust and you'll be fine.

    13. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by txdadu · · Score: 1

      Storing Sodium is not all that difficult. I believe you would store it in a brown glass bottle immersed in methanol. However, don't quote me on this because its been years since I actually practiced chemistry.

    14. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by larien · · Score: 2

      IIRC, it's usually stored in some kind of oil. At least, ISTR that's what we were taught back in school.

    15. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by Some+Woman · · Score: 1

      It's usually stored in mineral oil.

      Somewhat tangental, but.. yesterday, being the last day of classes and all, my p. chem professor dropped a good sized chunk of sodium in a four foot tall vat of water. The first one didn't do much, just kind of floated on the top like a burning boat, so he threw in a larger chunk. Lets just say that anyone who wishes to repeat said demo will have to find their own container. :)

      (Yes-we were outside)

      --
      My dingo ate your honor student.
    16. Re:Id like to see him try to stor the elements.... by iamblades · · Score: 1

      Actually radon shouldn't be a problem at all, because the amount o uranium he would be storing wouldn't be nearly enough to even reach the level of everyday exposure many people get from radon leeching out of concrete..

      So I doubt it would hurt anyone at all..

      --
      Shit adds up at the bottom...
  10. One question... by QuantumFTL · · Score: 3, Funny

    Needing a conference table, he created a Periodic Table

    Then wood this be a meta-table?
    *ducks*

    Justin

    1. Re:One question... by Alsee · · Score: 2

      "Upgrade your spiritual bandwidth: pray!"

      OPEN CONNECTION: Pray
      SYN-SENT
      Waiting...
      ACK NOT RECIEVED, RETRYING
      SYN-SENT
      Waiting...
      ACK NOT RECIEVED, RETRYING
      SYN-SENT
      Waiting...
      ACK NOT RECIEVED, CLOSING CONNECTION
      CONNECTION FAILED: HOST UNREACHABLE OR DOES NOT EXIST.

      -

      --
      - - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
  11. Woodstains by m.e.l.l.e.n.t.i.n.e · · Score: 1

    I can see it now...

    "Alright!! Who left their glass on Niobium without a coaster?!"

    --

    Producer: NEXT!!
    Ralph Wiggum: Chicken necks
  12. I hope this thing stands up to the elements. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting

    No, not those elements.

    I hope he has a humidity /temperature controled place to store this thing. Pieces that combine dissimaler woods don't tend to last very long due to diffrent rates of expansion/contraction when they are exposed to temperature and humidity changes. They tend to break along the seems.

    That's why you never securely bolt down butcher-block. You just drill an oversized hole and let it float on the stand.

    1. Re:I hope this thing stands up to the elements. by dynoman7 · · Score: 1

      It should hold up pretty good. He put several coats of polyurathane on in order to protect it from his otherwise normally calm child.

      --
      Blarf.
    2. Re:I hope this thing stands up to the elements. by gorilla · · Score: 2

      It looks like the structure of the table is made only from one wood. The different woods are only the caps for the compartments.

    3. Re:I hope this thing stands up to the elements. by borgillel · · Score: 3, Informative

      That seriously depends on the construction techniques. An understanding of the way wood moves according to humidity and temperature changes can greatly aid a woodworker in engineering a piece of furniture that will last, regardless of the materials used. In this case, it appears that most of the various different type wood pieces used in his table are free to move around much like little cabinet doors that contain a gap to allow for wood movement. The one thing that concerns me about the design is the checkerboard pattern of drilled-out blocks that he uses for the tabletop. Because the pieces are so large, I'm not sure if the opposing shear forces wouldn't eventually force the blocks to separate.

      This guy seems to have a set of tools that most professional woodworkers would love to have, including that nice little Wood-Mizer sawmill and an enormous shop. But the thing that makes me wonder about how accomplished a woodworker he is comes when you take notice of the time-stamps on the pictures. On 11-18-2000, there is a picture of him milling a log, presumably the one that he is going to use for the table. Then *two* days later, he is cutting and laying out pieces for the project! As most woodworkers know, this is a serious no-no, as freshly milled wood often needs many months of curing time. Even kiln-dried wood (which some regard as inferior), needs at least a week or so to adjust to the humidity conditions of a shop before you start working with it.

    4. Re:I hope this thing stands up to the elements. by BrokenHalo · · Score: 1

      Tell that to Antonio Stradivari - he managed to make quite a few reasonably passable fiddles back in the 18th century by combining spruce, maple and ebony. One or two have even survived :-)

    5. Re:I hope this thing stands up to the elements. by TheodoreGray · · Score: 5, Informative

      I'm not sure which time stamps you're looking at, but actually the log was cut over a year before being worked, and it was dried at least semi-properly. Also, that log was maple used only for the noble gas element tiles, not for the body of the table. The body of the table is walnut that was sawn in 1993 and actually kiln dried twice at the yard before I got it at auction. (Oh and by the way, the Wood-Mizer isn't mine, but I wish it were....)

    6. Re:I hope this thing stands up to the elements. by t · · Score: 1
      With the number of trollers on /. I have to ask you to prove yourself. Updating your webpage with your user number is probably sufficient.

      t.

  13. Francium by dingo · · Score: 1

    I dont think he will ever get any elemental Francium. If i remember back to high school it is EXTREEEEEEEEEEMELY rare because it oxidises (i think thats chemisteese for burns) in sunlight.
    HANG ON
    all geeks are made of Francium...we burn in sunlight.
    So...whos gunna send him a finger?

    --
    The Borg assimilated my race & all I got was this lousy T-shirt
    1. Re:Francium by Kredal · · Score: 1

      No way, he can't have mine! I still need to buy groceries!

      --
      Whoever stated that signature sizes should be limited to one hundred and twenty characters can just go ahead and kiss my
    2. Re:Francium by Squiffy · · Score: 1

      Actually, it's rare because there just aren't any stable isotopes of Francium -- the isotope with the longest half-life is 223Fr, with a t1/2 of 22 minutes. Uranium also has no stable isotopes but it is much more common because some of those isotopes have half-lives in the millions of years. 133Cs is totally stable but oxidizes like mad. That doesn't make it disappear, though. Elemental cesium is available commercially because we are able to chemically isolate it.

  14. Added bonus... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    If you put your plate on highly radioactive elements, your food will stay warm.

    1. Re:Added bonus... by SEWilco · · Score: 1
      That reminds me of the silly situation in Venus Equilateral where a guy was making blocks of stable unknown elements with atomic numbers of several hundred. He was stacking them on top of each other...until several exploded. The boss pointed out that the properties were not measured, and there are several combinations of known elements which react violently.

      (How were they casually making unknown elements? Spinning the dials on a matter duplicator. "Venus Equilateral" is a set of space stories based on vacuum tube technology, and it's very hacked tech. Very good hacking.)

    2. Re:Added bonus... by pokeyburro · · Score: 1

      Don't forget the hidden nozzles. Don't like that proposal Ted came up with at the board meeting? Press a button, and give him an instant dose of chlorine...

      --
      Lately democracy seems to be based on the skybox, the Happy Meal box, the X-box, and the idiot box.
    3. Re:Added bonus... by ch-chuck · · Score: 1

      Oh, someone else famalier with George O. Smith, who wrote about communications satellites before Arthur C. Clark. Of course those were manned communications stations around the Sun and not in earth geosynchronous orbit, but at least he got the physics of space travel correct too, not the "take us to warp factor 5 Scotty!" fantasy stuff.

      Another funny part is the AC ripple in the vacuum tube power supply making waves in the replicator output.

      --
      try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
    4. Re:Added bonus... by SEWilco · · Score: 1
      "he got the physics of space travel correct"

      Yes, he had fun with details. I won't give away the punch line of the story involving "we have the fastest missile with the most powerful explosive and an electronic armor piercer". It's all perfectly sound physics, the only fiction needed was the "perfect capacitator" material.

  15. PARENT IS A TROLL by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Don't listen to him, he's trying to fool you into sending him GOLD!!!! Don't fall for it!

    1. Re:PARENT IS A TROLL by grytpype · · Score: 2, Offtopic

      Damn. I was fixin to send him a bunch, too. Thanks for the warning.

      --

      - Have a picture

  16. Finally, a challenge! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    As a chemist, I've always prided myself as having the most unusual periodic table - I wear only boxer shorts that have the periodic table printed all over them (my collegues no longer ask me for reference information due to my undressing to look up values too many times...). This table though does me one better - bravo! I shall now have to find an even geekier chic periodic table - the guantlet has been thrown, I accept the challenge!

  17. Ups and downs... by thefuckedupgenius · · Score: 1

    It's a great way to get kids to learn about science, but is anyone else thinking "E-Z Bake Meth Lab"?

    --
    I hate those losers who can't come up with a decent sig. Oh, wait...
  18. He needs a Lanthanide & Actinide drop leaf by Wee · · Score: 2, Interesting
    It would have been really cool to have the Lanthanides and Actinides come out as part of a "drop leaf" thing. Hell, I don't know what you call it... like the TV tray thing for lazy people attached by articulated arms to the underside on some tables. You could have these sets of elements on such an arm so that you could move them up and out.

    You could also have them make a bi-level sort of table. Just take the two rows and attach them on little dowels to the top of the table at a 45 degree angle so they come up and out. You could set plants on that part maybe. Put some glowing Thinkgeek light strips (or flourescent lights) in the little cubbies, pretend there are rare earths in there, and scare the neighborhood kids. Be a real safe place to hide your stash I bet. Every neighborhood has the haunted house/spooky old man thing. This guy has the glowing radioactive table. "Trick or Treat? Reach in there for your candy Billy..."

    'Course the table is incredibly cool without my Monday morning engineering. Well done.

    -B

    --

    Ash and Hickory, straight-grained and true, make excellent bludgeons, dandy for the cudgeling of vegetarians.

  19. Re:FEMALES: Please read! by thefuckedupgenius · · Score: 1

    13 DD. I'm the fat kid.

    --
    I hate those losers who can't come up with a decent sig. Oh, wait...
  20. That sounds yummy... by Jon_Katz+(Paranoid+F · · Score: 1

    I'll try that.

  21. I tried a similar project. by Captain+Nitpick · · Score: 5, Funny

    I tried making a mandelbrot set table once.

    I gave up because it seemed like there was always an endless amount of detail work left to do.

    --
    But then again, I could be wrong.
    1. Re:I tried a similar project. by infinite9 · · Score: 2

      Oh, it's furniture. I thought he was making a table of tables. The last thing I want to do is dereference this thing with a pointer.

      --
      Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
  22. This Guy Built The Periodic Table Table... by dupper · · Score: 2, Funny
    Here's the Periodic Periodic Table

    This week's installment:

    • Name: hydrogen
    • Symbol: H
    • Atomic number: 1
    • Atomic weight: 1.00794 (7) g m r

    stay tuned next week for: Helium

    1. Re:This Guy Built The Periodic Table Table... by SEWilco · · Score: 1

      On our way to Helium next week, tomorrow we look at Deuterium.

  23. Re:You can get it at... by Technician · · Score: 1

    Visit any jewler. Don't forget your VISA card.

    --
    The truth shall set you free!
  24. Yes but.... by Llanfairpwllgwyngyll · · Score: 2

    When do these appear on ThinkGeek?

  25. I do not care by abolith · · Score: 2, Insightful

    what anyone else says, but to make a FUCKING BADASS table like those two takes a woodworking skill on a high level. something most of us will never get. I would love to be able to make something like that, but I am limited to case mods and such things.

    --
    if you want "No More Hiroshimas" then I say "You First. No More Pearl Harbors."
    1. Re:I do not care by Squeak · · Score: 1

      Making tables is not especially difficult, although I wouldn't fancy the job of carving or engraving the element details on each of those tiles. The furthest I've taken things is a coffee table with a Penrose tiling mosaic top. Cutting a few hundred tiles to an accuracy of better than 1 degree at each vertex took weeks.
      If you have the confidence and dexterity to modify cases without slashing your wrists open on torn aluminium there is no reason why you shouldn't give basic joinery a try.

      --
      This sig is a figment of your imagination.
    2. Re:I do not care by buckeyeguy · · Score: 1
      Well, it does take skill, but more imagination than anything. You'd need a jig (something which facilitates repetitive operations) to cut the 110+ element boxes out, then lots of well-ventilated room for clamping and gluing. And the woods he uses aren't terribly expensive until you get down to the koa and ebony, and of course the rare elements. (The handling of which is discussed above; I wouldn't even want the radioactives in my house, much less a piece of furniture.)

      Whatever.... this is one f'cking cool project. Wish I'd thought of it.

      --
      I'd have a personalized plate on my car, but "toxic bachelor" won't fit into 7 letters.
  26. aha! by codingbytes · · Score: 1

    He was a chemist! - no wonder Mathematica was the only piece of software that I still couldn't figure out how to operate after 10 minutes of tinkering with it. (hey, in my book, if it fails the 10 minute test, it's in dire need of a UI rewrite). ./cwide

    --

    soul daddies in a firewire tumble dryer

    1. Re:aha! by codingbytes · · Score: 1

      As a matter of fact, I was. I already was proficient in Pascal and Basic at the time.

      --

      soul daddies in a firewire tumble dryer

  27. last one at the table by lxs · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...gets the "uranium seat" (it's just a name son, don't worry about it)

    1. Re:last one at the table by sysadmn · · Score: 1

      Makes sense. Uranium was named after Uranus...

      --
      Envy my 5 digit Slashdot User ID!
  28. Bad Pun. by DarkHelmet · · Score: 2
    It seems Theo is missing some elements for the table, in case you have any spare europium (in a proper container, of course) lying about.

    Oh, I'm sorry, I seemed to have left my container in Europe.

    --
    /^[A-Z0-9._%+-]+@[A-Z0-9.-]+\.[A-Z]{2,4}$/i
    1. Re:Bad Pun. by Rolo+Tomasi · · Score: 1

      "Hey! Why's that Germanium in that Francium box again?"

      --
      Did you know you can fertilize your lawn with used motor oil?
    2. Re:Bad Pun. by tps12 · · Score: 2
      Oh, I'm sorry, I seemed to have left my container in Europe.

      Dude, that isn't a pun. Europium is named after Europe.

      A pun would be, e.g., "Sorry, Europium was already smoked by the Slashdot moderators."

      --

      Karma: Good (despite my invention of the Karma: sig)
  29. In a few days... by Emil+Brink · · Score: 5, Funny

    when some other esteemed editor reposts this, it'll be the Periodic Periodic Table Table story, and I will be even happier. ;^)

    --
    main(O){10<putchar(4^--O?77-(15&5128 >>4*O):10)&&main(2+O);}
  30. fine ass table by Herr_Nightingale · · Score: 1

    That there is one swank piece of craftsmanship. I'll be sending some spare Strontium pronto :O) It is truly gratifying to see so much love lathered on a table.

    1. Re:fine ass table by tps12 · · Score: 2
      :O)

      Holy moly.

      --

      Karma: Good (despite my invention of the Karma: sig)
  31. Other periodic tables... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting
    From a recent posting on memepool by urog. I don't think I could have said it any better myself.

    By adulthood, Mendeleev's periodic table of the elements is firmly planted in a typical mind either as a tool for study or proof of mystical forces at work in nature. There are alternative structures: some clever and others using alternate media, extensions to the table providing nuclear structure, fermi surfaces, and line spectra.

    Still others are extraordinarily cross-thematic, merging chemistry with comic books, poetry or haiku. But only the grouping-nature of the columns is retained in rejected elements, condiments and beer. Eventually the elements and the periodic qualities have been lost entirely, reducing the periodic table to a design template for topical lists of funk and rock music, comedy and TV shows, famous mathematicians and presidents, even SGI products. Soon a complete breakdown of the scientific aspect yields no similarity to the original, becoming a glorified table, a marketing tool, or hype itself. There is mounting evidence of a conspiracy.


    1. Re:Other periodic tables... by foote · · Score: 1

      In "Uncle Tungsten: Memories of a Chemical Boyhood," Oliver Sacks describes a giant periodic table at the British Museum, or perhaps it was the Natural Science Museum, in London. It was built onto a large wall (quite large, by his description, perhaps thirty feet wide) and there were cubbyholes containing samples of each element that could easily or safely be stored. Sacks, in his childhood, was a chemistry hacker, and his description of the table, and of his feelings for chemistry, especially metals, is beautiful. The first chapter of Uncle Tungsten is available on the New York Times site.

    2. Re:Other periodic tables... by TheodoreGray · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Funny you should mention Uncle Tungsten.... I built the table under discussion because I mis-read the first paragraph of the chapter where he discusses the "table" in the museum. For about 10 seconds while reading I though he was talking about a horizontal table, not a vertical frame on the wall. By the time I figured out I was confused, it was too late, I knew I had to build such a table. Theodore

  32. Occasional Table of Elelments by Te1waz · · Score: 2, Funny

    Are there any occasional elements out there?

    I'd like an occasional table...

    --
    From my Autobiography - "Lifestyles of the Sad and Desperate"...
    1. Re:Occasional Table of Elelments by Reziac · · Score: 2

      I designed an occasional table. But most of the time it's a footstool. ;)

      --
      ~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
  33. *ducks* by syrinx · · Score: 1

    I really don't like my periodic table, but I can't afford one that's around all the time, so periodic will have to do.

    --
    Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
  34. Image map by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    A huge bunch of kudos to the first person to imagemap that perodic table table to link to the actual element.

  35. Where's your focus? by jukal · · Score: 1

    When did Slashdot turn into a woodwork site? Or maybe this was just a step in your way to minimize global losses resulting from Slashdot effects?

    I know, my karma is soon below zero, but Hello!

  36. A friend made himself some yellowcake... by Iron+Sun · · Score: 1

    ...so it can't be that bad.

    This guy's family lived in South Australia, where a fair chunk of Australia's uranium exports come from. His father worked for one of the mines. My friend was a chemistry nerd, and he made up his mind one day to turn some uranium-bearing ore into yellowcake (uranium oxide, a stage in the purification process). Purely out of scientific curiousity. It's about twice as radioactive as depleted uranium, so I wouldn't walk around with it in my pants pocket, but it's not going to kill you in a hurry. 20 years on, it didn't seem to harm my friend that much. The wooden lid to the container on the 'table' would stop any alphas, and most of the betas. I wouldn't worry about it.

    Sodium, flourine, or even phosphorus, on the other hand...

    1. Re:A friend made himself some yellowcake... by Cro+Magnon · · Score: 1

      My health nut friend warned me to stay away from yellow cake! It sounds even worse than he said it was!

      --
      Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
  37. Hmmm. by Gannoc · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Hey, nice table!"
    "Thanks, it took me several w... OH JESUS CHRIST NO, DON'T OPEN THAT!"

    (screaming and choking as they both inhale florine gas)

    (dying breath): "Just...wanted...to...be...thorough.."

    1. Re:Hmmm. by gorilla · · Score: 2

      Florine gas is very hard to have around. It's so reactive, you end up with xx floride instead.

  38. More impressive version by ghmh · · Score: 1
    In my opinion, this would be way cooler if instead of having compartments for each element that you could only access by removing the wooden lid, you had the elements stored in some transparent way, so it really did look like a table of the elements.

    The carvings are cool though, perhaps for the transparent version could have small metal plaques underneath each one or something?

    1. Re:More impressive version by SEWilco · · Score: 1

      Of course, the really cool way to build your transparent periodic table is with transparent aluminum.

  39. Re:Id like to see him try to store the elements... by ssclift · · Score: 1

    Have a poke around in a country-side antiques place in the North American mid-west or somewhere similarly, um, oblivious to such concerns.

    It's usually called "Depression Glass" since a lot of it was made in the 1930's.

    I had a piece for the longest time and it really is a pretty yellow colour. Not particularly radioactive either...

  40. Re:Id like to see him try to store the elements.. by irlbinky · · Score: 2, Funny

    ..... whose half life is measured in seconds. The heavy artifical ones.

    After reading the original article I looked up the periodical table. I decided to find out which element officially has the highest Atomic Number. Ununbium has an atomic number of 112, but more intrestingly has a half-life of 240 microseconds.

    Picture him removing the lid to show a friend (both in Radiation suits) - "It was here a second ago" :-)

  41. Bulk samples of Wierd Elements by Catmeat · · Score: 2, Interesting
    A while back I was looking around for a kilo of Tungsten for a paperweight/curiosity as it seems to be the densest stuff you can get that's neither radioactive nor hyper-expensive. It's 19.25g/cc which is a lot considering lead is 11.34g/cc. A 1 kg block is going to be about 3x4x4 cm. It seems to worth about US$200 a kg.

    Anybody got any ideas where to get some from?

  42. Tom Lehrer by XNormal · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Now, if I may digress momentarily from the mainstream of this evening's symposium, I'd like to sing a song which is completely pointless, but is something which I picked up during my career as a scientist. This may prove useful to some of you some day, perhaps, in a somewhat bizarre set of circumstances. It's simply the names of the chemical elements set to a possibly recognizable tune. "

    The elements

    --
    Stop worrying about the risks of nuclear power and start worrying about the risks of not using nuclear power.
  43. looking up Uranium at dict.org... by Tottori · · Score: 1

    Even better, it says "see Uranus"! Folk were queer back in the 20th...

    --
    use constant PERL_IS_BROKEN => $] >= 5.006;
  44. All elements exist in the table. by Saggi · · Score: 2, Informative

    ...in the event an element is found not to exist

    The periodic table is build in such a way that no "non-existing" will be missed. The table is like a matrix mapping the content of the atom core. (Protons and neutrons). And the matrix would have holes if elements were missing.

    When the table was first constructed, the discovery of several elements was actually missing, as appeared as holes in the table. The chemist was hunting for these atoms, and all the holes have been found today - proving the concept of the table.

    Very heavy atoms may be very unstable and appear in the end of the table. To this "list" new atoms may be added, when they are "found" (constructed is a better word). But these atoms are so unstable due to their size that they will never be found in nature and can defiantly not be placed physically in the table, as they can only exist in microseconds.

    --
    -:) Oh no - not again.
    www.rednebula.com
  45. This is SO cool by Bakajin · · Score: 2, Funny

    The triangle table kicks ass also! I sooo wish I could spend my whole life working on projects like this. Not tables, per se, but any little fanciful project I dream up. For instance, a lego statue of Seven of Nine.... oh god, its true what the bullies said. I AM a loser. I actually think a periodic table table is clever and cool!

    --

    [news for me, stuff that doesn't matter]

  46. Missing elements by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    > It seems Theo is missing some elements for the table, in case you have any spare europium (in a proper container, of course) lying about.

    If he doesn't find europium can't he just take someone elses?

  47. Yeah, but.... by LittleGuy · · Score: 1

    ...can you hum it to Gilbert and Sullivan?

    --
    Mod Karma -1: I sed bad wurds. If I cep my mouf shut, I wud be at riyses.
  48. Kramer would be proud by mikosullivan · · Score: 2

    This reminds me of Cosmo Kramer's coffee table book about coffee tables that folds out to become a coffee table.

    --
    Miko O'Sullivan
  49. The problem is that the table is unstable by mikosullivan · · Score: 3, Funny

    The left side of the table is nice and stable, but the right side keeps wanting to explode. Maybe he should combine some of the elements on the right side to stabilize it.

    --
    Miko O'Sullivan
  50. Today's Technology History Lesson by SEWilco · · Score: 1
    "an arrow shot from a compound bow at about 15ft per second can puncture a bullet proof vest"

    The youngsters here might appreciate being reminded that it was the English longbow which caused the death of the knight in shining armor. This large bow was easily able to penetrate armor, so a column of armored fighters on horseback became a large target rather than the medieval equivalent of a tank.

    ("on horseback" used instead of "cavalry" because the latter is based on a philosophy of quick mobility, and an armored horse can only briefly be quick or mobile)

  51. Woodburns by SEWilco · · Score: 1

    Do we all know what happens when the condensed water from a glass hits Sodium?

  52. No Glue, No Stress by SEWilco · · Score: 1

    The table itself is one large piece. The different types of wood are in the labeled tiles, which are not glued to the top. The tiles have plenty of room to expand and are free to do so.

  53. Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition! by ackthpt · · Score: 1
    Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - oh, damn!

    Hmm.. surprise, the table could be a Transformer, spread fear, work with ruthless efficiency and be catholic, would that work?

    --

    A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
  54. Actual map by SEWilco · · Score: 1

    A Nobel prize to the first person that makes the actual element teleport in when the appropriate link is clicked.

  55. Re:Bulk samples of Wierd Elements by ChristTrekker · · Score: 1

    ThinkGeek should pick up on this idea. I'd buy one. Especially if the block were molded into a suitably geeky shape. A 3 cm tall Tux that masses half a kg would be pretty cool to have on one's desk.

    --

    Constitutionally Correct

  56. Hey! by march · · Score: 1

    "Hey! You can't eat on the table! That's the *periodic* table!"

    - Quote from Dr. Strangetable

  57. Re:Bulk samples of Wierd Elements by word+munger · · Score: 1
    Try metalcutting.com. "We supply all diameters tungsten wire."

    "Hello, operator? Yes, I'd like a 3cm length of 4cm diameter tungsten wire. Yes, I'll hold. Thank you!"

    --
    ScienceSeeker.org
  58. Simple nuclear conversion! by distributed.karma · · Score: 1
    According to xe.net,

    1 mole of Americium = 1.101 moles of Europium

    ;-)

    --

    --
    If you moderate this, then your children will be next.

  59. After viewing the photos... by fritter · · Score: 2

    All I can say is that Theodore Gray is a genius. A career in chemistry, inventing Mathematica, and now building this Periodic Table...all while still a toddler! I predict big things for this little guy once he hits puberty.

  60. odd shape by Suppafly · · Score: 2

    I think if it were me, I would have filled in the huge gaps at the top with blank squares to make it have a nice shape so that it could be used in a dining room or something.. all that work for an oddly shaped table makes it hard to show off well.

  61. Re: Cn by distributed.karma · · Score: 1

    People who make such lame jokes should be breathing some HCN.

    --

    --
    If you moderate this, then your children will be next.

  62. Don't tell me! by cliveholloway · · Score: 1
    It looks like it comes apart easily. If he dismantled it every night, would it then be a periodic periodic table table??

    cLive ;-)

    --
    -- Trinity in high heels carrying a whip: The donimatrix - there is no spoonerism
  63. I hope he doesn't spill any water... by cronack · · Score: 1

    ...on the right side of the table. IIRC, the elements with one or two electrons missing from their outer orbital fields (the two columns to the left of the noble gases) can react pretty violently with water. Specifically, the ones toward the top of the table (with s or p orbitals as their outermost orbitals) will react the most violently. Be gentle if I am wrong, IANAC.

    --

    this is a left handed sig
  64. I like this quip... by Trevin · · Score: 1
    ... "we hope to safely store samples of all samples that can be stored safely."

    Brought to you by the redundant department of redundancy!

  65. University of Illinois tie in... by tomdarch · · Score: 1

    Mathematica was, in large part, developed at UofIL (Urbana-Champaign) and I was one of the guinea pigs for using it to teach Calculus. (It's worth pointing out that some guy named Mark Anderson, or something, who lived down the hall from me in Hopkins residence hall was writing some linking-pictures-over-the-internet program called Mosaic, or someting, at the same time) ;^) Anyway, anyone who took the intro to Chemistry class at Urbana-Champaign (including my dad) spent a lot of time staring at the 8ft x 20ft (2.4m x 6.0m) periodic table in the big Chem building lecture hall. Well, some idiot decided to pull it off the wall and throw it out! Luckily, my housemates rescued it and we screwed it to the wall of our house over the stairs that led up to the second floor. It is/was at the northeast corner of California and Busey in Urbana.

    1. Re:University of Illinois tie in... by nucal · · Score: 2

      Then you may also know that the original name for Technicium was Illinium!

  66. Re:Bulk samples of Wierd Elements by VikingBerserker · · Score: 1

    I couldn't find non-alloy W, but maybe Tungsten Carbide is good enough? These guys also have plenty of other metals in various forms, like diamond plate or titanium sheets, for when you hunger for other materials.

  67. Europium by gdyas · · Score: 2

    Theo is missing some elements for the table, in case you have any spare europium (in a proper container, of course) lying about.

    You can get Europium Oxide from Sigma-Aldrich Chemicals. About $162 for 10g. It's an oxide of the element, but it's stable.

    --

    The only tool you've got against psychosis is experience.

  68. Haiku by ShavenYak · · Score: 1

    What a cool table
    All the elements in place
    I wish I had one

    --

    Hey kids, there's only 5 days left 'til Yak Shaving Day!
    1. Re:Haiku by daeley · · Score: 2

      Well, oddly enough
      A Periodic Table
      of Haiku exists

      --
      I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
    2. Re:Haiku by ShavenYak · · Score: 2

      Thank you for the link
      It was quite entertaining
      I must bookmark it

      --

      Hey kids, there's only 5 days left 'til Yak Shaving Day!
  69. Cosmos by Sebastopol · · Score: 2


    Anyone remember the episode of Cosmos (ca. 1981) when Carl Sagan examines a table exactly like this, except with a small, corked bottles containing each element? It was about 3x3 feet, but it was missing samples of the radioactive stuff. That inspired me to study the periodic table at age 10.

    --
    https://www.accountkiller.com/removal-requested
  70. Re:Bulk samples of Wierd Elements by sysadmn · · Score: 1

    I had a former boss who kept an X-Ray tube on his desk. It looked like a light bulb the size of a basketball. The "filament" was a spinning disk of tungsten 3-4" across. Way heavy... Way cool.
    Another boss later kept an empty 20mm cartridge topped with a bullet of depleted uranium. It weighed about twice what you'd expect if you thought it was iron.
    Both were very jealous of their treasures.

    --
    Envy my 5 digit Slashdot User ID!
  71. this is old news by ellem · · Score: 2

    it was posted on Home/Depot a month ago...

    (psst I hear he's baking the Lanathanum... La!)

    --
    This .sig is fake but accurate.
  72. Magnesium sample already on hand... by macX_rocks · · Score: 1

    In one of the pix, he's got the table leaning on a NeXT cube. Melt it down, and add it to the table.

  73. Dept. of Redundancy Dept. by LeBain · · Score: 1
    After reading the following from the article I was reading, I think the conference table must be destined to be the Department of Redundancy Department conference room table.

    "...we hope to safely store samples of all samples that can be stored safely."

    --
    Give serendipity a chance.
  74. two words by ZINGYWINGY · · Score: 1

    smart ass

  75. Re:Bulk samples of Wierd Elements by sphealey · · Score: 2
    A while back I was looking around for a kilo of Tungsten for a paperweight/curiosity
    As long as you don't mind being on FBI/Interpol watch lists for the rest of your life, since metallic tungsten is used in the construction of 2-stage nuclear devices.

    sPh

  76. If they went through all that trouble... by MasteroftheVoxel · · Score: 1

    couldn't they have at least make it *correct*.

    The Lanthanoids should be inserted between 56 and 71 and the Actinoids between 88 and 103 and the two pieces should be shifted over.

    This would then correctly repesent the way the electron orbitals are filled as predicted by the wave equation.

  77. Missing an element... by Amazing+Quantum+Man · · Score: 2


    I didn't see Eludium Phosdex (the shaving cream atom) in his table!

    --
    Fascism starts when the efficiency of the government becomes more important than the rights of the people.
  78. Re:Bulk samples of Wierd Elements by smeat · · Score: 1

    How do *YOU* know that? I'll bet you are on the watchlist.

    smeat!

    --
    "Let's not bicker about who killed who." Monty Python
  79. Re:Bulk samples of Wierd Elements by edremy · · Score: 2
    I've got a M392A2 105mm sabot round on my desk-one of the older spin stabilized warshots. Heavy as hell- I love handing it to people and watching the reaction. The penetrator is tungsten carbide, not DU, but I'm looking for one of those... It's next to the rotating despin ring from a practice HEAT round, but that's only aluminum.

    Ah, the joys of keeping military hardware around a small, all-women liberal arts college :^)

    Eric

    --
    "Seven Deadly Sins? I thought it was a to-do list!"
  80. [OffTopic] Frys... [aka Fried Electronics] by ender- · · Score: 1

    I hear Frys is having a sale on breeder reactors and gas difusion plants. You should pop down there.

    Speaking of which, does anyone else think it's a bad idea to have a Tesla Coil, and a 10kw Jacob's Ladder in an electronics store or is that just me?

    Ender

    --
    Nothing to see here
  81. Regarding Uranium as an ingrediant in glass ... by beer_maker · · Score: 1

    The visitor's center at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory has a nice shelf display of this glass, seen in the picture at the bottom of the page. The uranium atoms fluoresce under UV light, giving a distinctive although kitschy look to the pieces.

    In the same case (on the lower shelves) are common objects found to be radioactive, with the radiation sources identified and radiation levels listed. A pair of glasses contaminated with Thorium from early A-bomb tests, a chunk of "yellow-cake" from Canadian deposits, a piece of granite from Denver, etc. Kind of cool, in a geeky sort of way ...

    --
    Hmmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
  82. Little Chemistry Joke On the Table... by Kelsevinal · · Score: 1

    Did anyone else notice that on the tile that lists all the groups in/on the table (alkalai, metalloids, etc.), noble is spelled "NO8LE"? It's a combination of an outer-shell electron joke and chemistry 1337-5p34k...

    1. Re:Little Chemistry Joke On the Table... by TheodoreGray · · Score: 1

      Sorry, I'm afraid I didn't make that joke in the table.... Although it looks like that in the photo, it's just the lighting. It's actually just a B. Would have been an OK sort of joke, though... By the way, if you see any typos or incorrect data in the pictures, please DON'T TELL ME. I really don't want to have to remake any of those tiles, and I'm more than happy to live in ignorance of any errors there may be, not that there are any. Of course, last time I posted something to this thread people doubted it was me, so, well, maybe that actually *is* an 8, and I'm an imposter. Should I leave it as a mystery or ask Ed to update his web page? Hm. Theodore