Slashdot Mirror
Haiku vs Spam
Mark Cantrell was among several people who sent in a story about a company using "Haiku to Stop Spam. Essentially you use a copyrighted Haiku
to tag that a message meets criteria (1 Recipient, Pre-Existing Relationship,
etc) which then makes it a simple matter to filter the mail. I'm sure the spammers in China will laugh wildly as they forge the haiku. I challange comment posters to post only Haiku in this discussion ;)
China eh? Funny, I always thought Haiku was a Japanese art. . .
I know more than you drink.
this post is not bright
but at least a creative
request for flaimbait
~dijjnn
To be the first post lamer
on slashdot today
posting in haiku
will leave much left unmentioned
but those are the rules
sometimes seventeen
syllables ain't enough to
express a complete
Face it, people are stupid, and the internet is the place where they all meet.
Drop by drop by drop
Sweet rain turns to killing flood
One mail, ten mails, spam.
Pro-copyright news,
like shifting summer breezes,
fans Slashdot fires.
"The Crystal Wind is the Storm, and the Storm is Data, and the Data is Life"
The old pond; spammer
jumps in; the sound of water;
please, please, no bubbles.
"she says i'm lousy conversation. as if that's supposed to help."
Zen's sound is nothing
Power out, system silent
No power is Zen
CAN-CON 2019 - Ottawa's only book oriented Science Fiction Convention! October 18-20, Sheraton Hotel, Ottawa, Canada h
Your first line is off,
Two syllables are missing.
Do you know Haiku?
Anything that blocks
Spam from my machine is good.
How long will this work?
"...At the end of the day"..."when everyone goes home, you're stuck with yourself." RIP Layne Staley
"Fasten seatbelts tight
Your seat cushions float gently
Headsets five dollars."
I mod down anyone who uses M$ in their posts. I like to live on the edge.
Why not read thing first
before you post mindless trash
slashdot getting worse
Enlarge your penis
Reregister your domain
Click to unsubscribe
Ha! I got a spam through!
~Idarubicin
This is a spam mail
please erase this from Inbox
Don't need viagra
this is for my friend
always so nice and helpful
no pyramid scheme
i hate christine hall
and her trafficmagnet site
send me endless spam
amazon dot com
stop sending me newsletters
I'm illiterate
.... um, i lost you after "0110100001101001".
retarded idea
sucks more cock than piazza
slashdot sinks lower
My english teacher
Finally vindicated
Haiku has a use
Casca
"Do YOU want to see
Iambic Pentameter
Lesbian action?"
Damn, you guys are 'tards.
Learn to write proper haiku.
(I could teach my dog.)
- A.P.
"Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War On Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore?"
Vogon poetry
Stopping spammers easily
Sue their asses now
Oh tin of pink meat
I ponder what you may be:
Snout or ear or feet?
Take license to send
email to people I know?
Now, matters are worse.
"We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." --The American President (20.1.2009)
Pink beefy temptress
I can no longer remain
Vegetarian
Signal noise ratio falling
Slashdot fades to black...
For those that would die defending it, Freedom
has a sweet taste that the protected will never know.
hot grits in my pants
naked, petrified actress
natalie Portman!
Oops! Misspelled haiku.
Pretend that it was satire.
Yeah, that's the ticket.
There was a story on Yahoo /.ers jived,
About filtering spam with Haiku.
So in five-seven-five,
All the
But I thought I should try something new!
Good judgment comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgment.
i know not haiku
as my previous post proves
i go back to code
Things you think are in the Constitution, but are not.
Stupid formatting. Should have been:
Haiku poems are
Japanese, not Chinese; shows
what you know, Slashdot.
There is no sig, there is only Zuul.
ah, poor slashdotter
you tried to correct spelling,
made grammar mistake
"I assumed blithely that there were no elves out there in the darkness"
Spam delenda est.
Omni haiku divisi
sunt in partes tres.
Like bodysnatchers,
Spam has crept into our lives
It will win, I think.
The mad scientist,
in the lab toils to create
square pigs for Hormel.
Spam, it does not reap,
neither doth it sow, I think,
it cunningly waits.
When left with the rest,
A wise man chose to call it
Spam: Sow Parts And Meat.
Glist'ning, shiny block,
too horrible to think from
where you came and how.
You must look at Spam
that does not correspond to
the knitting machine.
Spark'ling Spam that zaps
when eaten or dropped from high
drank from the charge pond.
Unlike the Eggy,
Spam not only 'can tongue', it
is canned tongue in steel.
Deep within the heart
of swine there cries out a voice
"Spam, my destiny."
Saw a therapist-
He made me wallow in Spam.
He was The Rapist.
Ran out of dead cows
to loft at the seiged city.
Used Spam, rest all died.
Ship loaded with Spam
runs aground on the dark reef.
Oil slick and fish kill.
Greasy loaf, digest.
Leave me better than you found-
Clog not arteries.
Truncated blue can,
how can you contain such vile
and slimy pig guts?
Who hast made thee, Spam?
Pink, glutinous, porcine parts
there in gelled repose.
Chopped and fried, layered
among other things pig-like,
surely a man's feast.
The Spam maps Pam's amps
hoping to find a way to
avoid the hot pan.
Spam spilled in the street,
greasy and slick from the can,
a twelve car pileup.
Faint whiff of the sea,
Greasy scent of things porcine,
I must open it.
Missles fly, "Nuke War!"
All is still, the earth cools down,
Roaches feast on Spam.
Sliced for sandwich,
formed as loaf, chopped for salad,
my Spam does not judge.
Once thought unclean, now
all pigs strive for a higher
plane of being - Spam.
By T. Goodfellow:
Conjugating Spam
spamo, spamas, spamatus
Boy I hate Latin.
Spam in my stocking
on December 25th
I was bad this year
50% off
an after-Christmas Spam sale
plenty to pick from
If Spam were outlawed
only outlaws would carry
guns made of pig meat
While on a cruise ship
"Spam overboard!" came the yell
No one seemed to care
Ma pig, to her son,
If you don't make something of
yourself, Hormel will.
I like Spam, I do
but I'd never admit it
to someone like you
Locked out of the house
on the doorstep shivering
Spam waits for its master
DaVinci drawing
to British scholars reveals
early Spam concepts
re-inventing Spam
I suggest we use soy beans
vegetarian
Like chicken and egg
does the can shape the Spam, or
does Spam shape the can?
Summer '59,
The rains came early, then dry
A great Spam vintage.
Sooner or later
zero or more cans of Spam
not pleasing itself
only Hormel can
make the manslaughter of pigs
Man's laughter of Spam
Hogs, none the wiser
board the bus to nirvana
destination: Spam
A pallet of Spam
could it be any worse than
Spam on the palette
Secret document
stolen by Chinese agents
Spam powered rockets
Proper etiquette
demands that Spam eaters
conceal agony
Attorneys or Spam
The only difference is
in the packaging
If Spam grew on trees
Newton's law calculations
would have been greasy
In a Spam glacier
a fully preserved mammoth
What a way to go
Tunneling inward
the electron microscope
atomic pig parts
pigs, each year with hope
in vain searching yellow pages
still no Spam heading
the stock broker
stuffing his porkfolio
going long on Spam
Anticipation
Spam in a ketchup bottle
s l o w l y s l i d i n g out.
Boy scout winter camp
Spam unevenly heated
half frozen; half burnt
Tiller's Rule: Never use a word in written form that you've only heard and never read. You will end up looking foolish.
Thats way too funny
please mod the parent post up
correct format please
www.slightlycrewed.com - Because aren't we all?
From Nigeria
Someone owes you millions
too good to be true!
SlashDot article
Hyperlinks call to me but
afraid of GoatSex
Dear hated spammer,
You vandalise my hotmail.
Die with spike up ass!
SlashDot educates,
I thought Haiku Japanese,
Now I know better.
The gift of death metal does not smile on the good looking.
550 spammer
trying to mail my user
fuck you, it's summer
Click-through Haiku
you must comply to
this copyright agreement
I agree || Cancel
Ha! I bet in Perl you could write it in eight.
[PowerPoint] is a tool for capitalist presentation
that spamassassin
is all too keen on murder
kills spam and non-spam
VKh
Linux rules the world.
Microsoft is the devil.
There goes my kharma.
Karma whores unite
New story, they flood the board
Yearning for +5s
this mail is not spam
it was sent to you because
you requested it
-ShelbyCobra
Living life in the right side of the s-plane
I could post a troll
but how many syllables
has goatse.cx?
I'd include something
regarding "Taco-snotting"
in a verse or two.
Where is this 'poopbot'
when one needs him her or it
as the case may be.
You moderators
who mod this down as a troll
are indeed foolish.
It's obviously
my lame attempt at humor:
'overratted' sure,
perhaps 'redundant',
'funny' if you find it so.
Score minus one 'lame'.
One can only be
certain that moderation
prediction will cause
moderators to
try to make you a liar.
I hereby declare
then, that this post will
remain unmoderated
with default plus one.
SKY have just won the rights to screen the World Origami Championships from Tokyo.
Unfortunately it's only available on Paper View.
(sorry, it's a slow day)
Junkyard to fight spam
So the spammers must fight back
Then it's Junkyard Wars.
You are in a maze of twisty little relative jumps, all alike.
When I see your face
Emotion floods over me
Wait, I mean lotion.
That night we kissed,
I couldn't get over it
You gave me mono.
I hunger for you
Only you satisfy me
Make me some dinner.
You are like a dream
In the morning, I awake
And I forget you.
Your love was a gift
A fine, cherished present, you
Indian Giver!!!
(I wish I could claim to have written these. One of my old roommates came up with several pages of "Love Haikus".)
processed sow in lard!!!
inbox filled with fake pig parts!!!
my blood boils with wrath!!!!
and a cleansing scream for good measure: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Note: I found it more amusing before the "Lamenes Filter" forced me to remove my all caps from the haiku...damn anti-satire filters. What happened to free speech...let the anti-socials yell, damnit. =)
(No, I didn't write this, but I thought it was worth using here. Original author unknown.)â
== Paul Rickard, Editor of The Microsoft Boycott Campaign ====
In spring of two thousand two.
I'll forget it soon.
Heh.
Need a Linux consultant in New Orleans?
Blue can of steel
What promise do you hold?
Salt flesh so ripe
Can of metal, slick
Soft center, so cool, moistening
I yearn for your salt
Twist, pull the sharp lid
Jerks and cuts me deeply but
Spam, aah, my poultice
Silent, former pig
One communal awareness
Myriad pink bricks
Clad in metal, proud
No mere salt-curing for you
You are not bacon
And who dares mock Spam?
You? you? you are not worthy
Of one rich pink fleck
Like some spongy rock
A granite, my piece of Spam
In sunlight on my plate
Little slab of meat
In a wash of clear jelly
Now I heat the pan
Oh tin of pink meat
I ponder what you may be:
Snout or ear or feet?
In the cool morning
I fry up a slab of Spam
A dog barks next door
Pink tender morsel
Glistening with salty gel
What the hell is it?
Ears, snouts and innards
A homogeneous mass
Pass another slice
Old man seeks doctor
"I eat Spam daily", he says.
Angioplasty
Highly unnatural
The tortured shape of this "food"
A small pink coffin
Pink beefy temptress
I can no longer remain
Vegetarian
Subscribers can see articles in the future? So what? Everyone gets to see them in the future.
"Get rid of your debts"! "University Degree"! Sounds US to me!
(Excuse the English representation of Japanese)
He nari totte
ada to omou na
morobi to yo
bu-u to naritotte
hotoke nari keri
Translation(rough):
When you fart
do not feel embarrassed
when you go *poot*
you become like Budda
I tried every decent and legal way I could think of to resolve the issue w/the business before I rented the chicken suit
I am writing to you from a government agency in Nigeria. You were recommended to me as an excellent businessman. Please to offer your advice on my haiku
5 million bucks
Help
We need your western business knowledge
greedy fools you are
would auction own grandmother
on bloody eBay
in name of jesus
whom your honour so closely
resemble. thank you
All things in moderation; including moderation
all your base are
belong to us, pour hot grits
for great justice
Is it spam or not?
Is the haiku in the text?
Either way, it's spam
Lemon curry?
How you gentlemen!!
All your base belong to us.
You know what you doing.
Need a Linux consultant in New Orleans?
are you lonely guy
click here for the pheromones
women will go crazy
penis too little
buck up, gullible person
this lotion will help
tired of debt? rejoice!
now all your worries are gone
(we are a non-profit)
psssst! Remember me?
I'm naked hot and horny
click for all nude pics
www.avacal.com -- the home page of pete shaw
Spam stopper based on
copyright, SMTP
ignorance. Yeah, right.
When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a skull.
GNU is for hippies
FreeBSD is dying
Score negative 1
No more high tech job
so i leave bad industrie
writing haiku now
Your Haiku is suck
It makes baby Jesus cry
But much less than Spam
perl -e 'print $i=pack(c5, (41*2), sqrt(7056), (unpack(c,H)-2), oct(115), 10)'
Will probably be:
millions satisfied,
totally natural pill:
enlarge your penis.
(it even has a "natural" theme... sorta) and
a special offer,
a low interest mortgage.
chance of a lifetime.
RMN
~~~