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The Joystick Is The Root of All Evil
Waab writes "David Yoo, of the Parsons School of Design has taken some time out of his busy schedule to put together one of the funniest sites I've seen all year, Mothers Against Videogame Addiction and Violence. With articles like "EverQuest: A Threat to Society?" and "America's Army: A New Low" (articles currently offline "due to editing"), MAVAV gives worried parents one more senseless cause to rally round. Even Tycho and Gabe love it."
I think the typical report card is a bit off. All my friends that played video games were A students. A more typical report card would have been Math: A Literature: A History: A Physical Education: F
http://use.perl.org
M.A.V.V. is a parody right? Maybe i'm just a tad slow today, but the whole site is a parody right?
I think Penny Arcade covers this topic best.
I'm a signature virus. Please copy me to your signature so I can replicate.
Actually, only the Atari 5200 Joystick is the root of all evil.
[PowerPoint] is a tool for capitalist presentation
He was pretty stunned that anyone could call by the tone in his voice.
He stuttered. He kinda laughed.
"I was told not to, uhm, tell anyone about that information."
Oh, so you don't know who the founder is, or what their contact info is?
"No, I only set it up for them."
You don't have an email address with which I can get in contact with them?
"No, I dont have any inform... I can't give it out."
Will they be disclosing any of that information on their web site?
"I don't know. I think so."
So again, I guess I fell for it a bit, but I had a good laugh, too. Some of the article titles were hilarious.
A winner is you!
I thought only my ex-girlfriend thought that.
Think nothing is impossible? Try slamming a revolving door.
Who are these enemies of free speech? The Kids Against Mothers Against Videogame Addiction and Violence website has now been taken offline, due to MAVAV's freedom-quashing use of the DMCA. I have come to the sad conclusion that all this hatred, injustice and bigotry will only stop when we frag these MAVAV mothers. Where's my BFG9000?
Well, that certainly explains this.
The site is convincing enough that Tycho and Gabe (the creators of PA) weren't even entirely sure themselves:
"But as regards the dreaded Mavav, I think we have very little to worry about.
In fact, I am prepared to call it a hoax.
I hate moms just as much as the next guy, but that site doesn't have the taint of mom. It has the taint of fancy lads trying to get your blood up. No articles. No privacy policy. Some of the language and word choice rings false. The hyperbole takes a step too far, even for a concerned parents site, to hold any water.
Here is my backup plan: If it does turn out to be real and I just didn't believe it, well, that's because I've reached this, like, hyperspace, higher plane of cynicism where all reality and the people in it are a ridiculous pageant for my amusement.
My
Limekiller
For every site that parodies stupidity like this, the actions that the real intolerants take will be seen and treated with less seriousness. Compare this site to the OLGAnon web boards started by Elizabeth Wooley, mother of a suicided gamer. She blames Everquest for her son's death. Everyone else blames his obvious mental problems. Accordingly, she has a great deal of trouble with people from other EQ message boards who come to hers to try to flame and spam her into non-existance.
The most successfull of those trolls, however, and the ones that do the most damage to Liz's crusade of self-victimization and responsibility avoidance are those that parody the 'real' posters who frequent the site.
Not only do those parody posts make everyone laugh at the people who don't seem to have the ability to take responsibility for their own actions, they make the site less credible as a whole.
The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and slashdot the links early!
to bad you'll have to do 50 hours of KP and then another 80 of port a potty guard duty before you ever see a bad guy, Private. :)
people who think they can rule the world should start out with a small garden.
I *thought* it was parody (the reference to feral teens on the main page) but I wasn't willing to stake my (nonexistant) reputation on it. There are too many Change-Through-Hysteria groups like this which ARE serious for me to immediately write it off. You can't parody what is already ludicrous.
Bush: He's Liberal in all the wrong ways.
I was expecting well-written and hilarious articles like this one but instead it was rather dry. I have a hard time believing this isn't really a site decrying videogame violence as opposed to a parody.
Everybody knows videogame violence never harmed anyone. It's nonsense like this that prevents highly anticipated titles from being released at their scheduled dates. Slashdotters unite!
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance" - Derek Bok
You all know, of course, that like the Bonsai Kitten site, that there's going to be some morons who not only take this site (overwhelmingly) seriously, but will actually use it as incentive to start up their own whiny SUV soccermom groups, to close down video game retailers and host mass modem bonfires, right?
Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
Why is it that people don't get subtle humor anymore?
I can clearly see that it is a parody site. From the site:
"Hardcore gamers never buy computer videogames. Instead, downloading illegally copied videogames or "warez" is the only method acceptable by the underground. Buying a legit copy is grounds for abandonment by community groups."
HA! What a statement.
Gamer1: Hey guys, I just picked up Doom 3.
Gamer2: It isn't retail is it?
Gamer1: Ummm...yeah?
Gamer3: He bought retail! That lamer!
Gamer2: He's a witch! Burn him!
Qualitas edurus commercium, nullus penitus net rimor, nullus deus beneficium
That is the funniest site I have ever seen. I've never considered my LAN parties "online training camps" but ok. I can be a trainer. Gimme a f'n break. The fact that they label all video gamers as "social outcasts" doesn't sit too well with me either. I hope that site is a joke, and they really need to stop twisting their source articles' research. That site makes me laugh more than CAP (farkers know what i mean).
today is spelling optional day.
You can find his project page here where he has graphs from his hit counter among other things.
David calls me the inspiration for his final project, as we both visit the same IRC channel. The inspiration came from my petition (cached because petitiononline.com has seemingly removed my petition) to rename the LOTR movie "The Two Towers" to something else. Of course, it was a joke. However, I'm still receiving responses to this day thanks to a site another friend of mine set up and which I wrote the FAQ for.
Congratulations, David, on another successful internet hoax!
Copied from PA's first page:
"The server for Mavav.org traces here:
drakhath.net [216.226.142.104]
To a devious clan site, no less! There are definately some good bits on that parody, it is my hope that they take a major media outlet for a ride with it. Answer requests for interviews, etc."
Where do you think the market is for those force feedback joy sticks with "realistic vibrations" (true marketing quote).
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
my high school years come flashing back...
... Excellent ... Poor ... Poor ... Poor ... Poor ... Poor
A typical report card by a troubled videogame player:
Computer Education
English
Mathematics
Science
Social Studies
Physical Education
...that society has been a bigger threat to EverQuest rather than the other way around.
jk....
The think about that site is I saw something complaining about how a lot of pre teens were playing video games. What they neglect to inform us is that an increasing amount of middle aged people are rediscovering video games. EVERYBODY is getting into videogames, from every age group, ethnicity, whatever. Just goes to show how groups like that LOVE to manipulate data...
Oh, did you hear that 80% of all net users have visited news related sites such as slashdot? You too should visit slashdot!
Nuff said.
Speaking of WTF????
WTF is a gammer? Please enlighten me.
Just two of the "Facts" that don't really make sense:
Fact: Health studies have found that even those casual gamers suffer from low self-esteem and self-pride compared to their athletic and more socially accepted peers in their same age group. Young gamers were found to be more likely to become lifetime gaming addicts and becoming
social outcasts.
How often are gamers (let's expand a bit and call them "nerds") compared to "their athletic and more socially accepted peers"? Did these people ever notice that there have always been nerds who are less athletic and less socially accepted, even before video games? Is it so surprising that these nerds turned to a different outlet? Just the fact that they think it's better to be athletic and "socially accepted" shows how skewed this site really is.
Fact: Hardcore gaming not only leads to videogame addiction and abrupt lifestyle changes, but to crime and felony as well. Hardcore gamers never buy computer videogames. Instead, downloading illegally copied videogames or "warez" is the only method acceptable by the underground. Buying a legit copy is grounds for abandonment by community groups. You may not be buying your child videogames, but they can illegally obtain them off the internet.
I'm sure many of us at some point have download an illegal "warez" program at one time or other. Does that mean we don't buy games? No. Long ago I had a warez version of Half-Life, but then (shortly thereafter) when I realized how great a game it was, I bought it. It's just like any other piracy: not as big a deal as those industry execs make it out to be. And what is this "underground" they talk about that only accepts people with warez? The only underground I can think of (but maybe I'm wrong) is--surprise--the warez scene. In any case, if you're in a clan or something, nobody can tell if you're using a legal copy (just like, presumably, nobody can tell if everyone else is using an illegal copy). Completely spurious. Oh, and kids can get video games illegally? So can parents. What are you going to do, turn off the internet?
Scrolling down to the bottom of the page, it also makes that age-old claim of the link between violence in video games and real-world violence. I won't even get into that here, but it's interesting to note that even though they claim "new research" supports them, they don't actually say where this information comes from, or even what the so-called link is. There are some forthcoming articles that might address this. But they're not biased are they?
"Time is an illusion.
Lunchtime doubly so."
-Douglas Adams
David Borowitz
What? Women denying men sexual favors? Have you ever thought, maybe, you're just ugly?
but some of my friends like the game which shares its name.
"Life is great; without it, you'd be dead." -Harmony Korine
Not all controllers have the Freudian Joystick Nature: check out the commercially failed Thrustmaster Fragmaster. I have a Fragmaster I got free after rebate at Fry's, and it turns out to work really well in some applications. Not too hard to figure out what killed it, though: it's exactly the wrong shape...
This places Slashdot's credibility at risk.
Slashdot has credibility? Which alternate universe are you posting from?
There is no reasonable defense against an idiot with an agenda
:wq
"I was looking at 2 dead joysticks on my shelf the other day, and noticed how they looked oddly similar to male sex organs. Now if a feminist made this connection, and had a thing against male sex organs, then the computer gaming industry could be in real trouble ;-)"
So how do you explain 'Game Pads' to feminists?
Yuck I grossed myself out.
(...)feral young children and pre-teenage gamers
What's a "feral young child"? A child raised in a home and released back to the wild?
Possibility 2: It is a hoax, and it may be funny to some people (I peed my knickers) hence the "Laugh it's funny" icon.
Agreed, it's not FP material, but none of the sections really are appropriate. And it's a slow day...
I'd love for some news wire to pick this up and pass it off as legit. Not only would gamers be branded as violent, but they'd be branded as having a sick sense of ha-ha.
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme." Mark Twain
... someone thinks this may be a joke site but I don't think so.
...from a marketing stand-point, MADD is good because it's a word we already
...if they only knew the power of the Parental Force....
There has been a lot of talk about this topic and it's not just games but cartoons like The Coyote and the Roadrunner... or Wrestling on TV or shows like "Jackass."
It's probably quite real. After visiting their site, I shot off an email:
-----
Subject: Interesting...
know. MAVAV attempts to mirror this but it falls short not only because
it's not a word but because it doesn't roll off the tongue. Have you
considered "MAVVA"? Sounds like JAVA and spelled similar to "Savvy."
As a father concerned about things that affect the mental health of my sons,
I take organizations like yours seriously.
I have observed the effect on my sons that various games have had on them
since they were even younger than 5 years old. These games are a very large
cultural part of my sons' very identities as they are with so many others.
I was a "gamer" for the longest time until I simply stopped having time for
them. I suspect the same will happen to my sons when they grow up.
(They're 10 and 11 now.)
I think the game with the most memorable effect on them is Mortal Kombat.
It portrayed amazing violence and gore while using animated photographs of
real actors as characters in the game. Soon, the boys were playing "Mortal
Kombat" not as a game on the TV, but between themselves and I was amused at
the way they did it but mostly I appreciated the gentleness and care they
displayed for each other as they clearly recognized that the moves being
executed could really hurt and they didn't actually want to hurt each
other... of course they pretended but knew the actual difference between
play and reality.
This difference has been known by children playing at adult violence not
merely for decades, but for centuries and millenia. When I was a boy, I was
"The Lone Ranger" and I even had toy guns strapped to my waist. Before
that, little boys have been playing with wooden swords emulating their
favorite Shakespearian actor... it's an inherent part of childhood.
The inclination to violence is a part of humanity. Addressing only
videogames would be to make your target so small as to make it trivial. The
reality is that MOST kids (though certainly not all) know when, where and
why they should "pull their punches." I hold that kids who have issues with
reality needn't have video games as a scape goat any more than Wrestling on
TV or Heavy Metal music.
My point here is that the actual problem should be addressed, not a
contributor to the symptom. You cannot change reality for growing children,
but you can teach children to understand reality. That is the best role of
a parent -- teaching children what's good and what's bad. Change the
children and let your children change the world. You can't change the world
for the children.
And one more thing -- likely considered irrelevant but still... Spanking is
good. I haven't had to spank my sons in more than three years. I think
they are too old for it now but applied properly, I think it's a tool that
teaches a young mind respect for authority and a sense of his place in the
scheme of things. It doesn't mean I taught them violence. What I taught
them was consequence to actions which is exactly why they pull their kicks
and punches and why they don't carry guns and knives to school. They're
kind and gentle boys just as I consider myself to be a kind and gentle man.
If your kids are "out of control" blame yourself for not playing an active
role in their lives, not the toys they play with. In fact, I play with my
sons! I participate in their lives and I'm ever-present to supply guidance
and I'm always challenging their minds. (At around the significant age range
of 5, they told me they love me because I'm always "tricking them." which
means I play all kinds of games with them... not only actual games, but
mentally stimulating games as well which challenges and strengthens their
logical abilitities as well as physical.)
I'm all for being a better parent and "protecting" the children, but this is
not something they need to be protected from. It's rather like immunity from disease -- you can take the plastic bubble approach by filtering the air they breathe or you can vaccinate them and let thei own immune system fight off disease. Vaccinate a child's mind with wisdom and good examples, not by trying to encase the world in a platic bubble.
------
Like so many fanatics, I doubt I will influence their thoughts on any of this. The problem with contemporary parenting is that "the world is to blame" and not the parents. These poor dumb bastards have no idea what a powerful influence a parent has over a child...
December 16, 2002 Final Assignment
Assignment:
Your final project is going to be making a fully functional hoax. The work must:
- exist in the public realm
- be advertised, exposed or introduced to strangers
- be fully documented, strategies include images, movies, sound recording, and interviews
- employ the element of craft (they will be judged on both ambition & effort)
- be fully functional. For example, if the project is a website, you must register the domain name. There should be no connection to this class or to Parsons.
Think hard about why people make hoaxes. I want you not to just have "fun" tricking people, but think about a message or idea you want to convey. What are the strategies for bringing people in? What is your overall message?
Your aim should be to create work which is subtle and effective.
In addition to creating the work, you will be asked to write 3 or more pages documenting your strategy in creating the work. Keep this in mind as you work.
So, are they called evilsticks now?
Busybodies are the true parasites on society. Forget the welfare babies who suck off the public teat. If you really want to know who is fscking our nation's bureacracy and economy periodically it's the busybodies like these people.
This reminds me of a scenario at my HS, around 2 years before I graduated. A local busybody bitch from the school board went after one of the English teachers for posting a "read a banned book" sign on the door. She said he was teaching kids to "not respect authority." One little problem, the authorities aren't in favor of book banning hence **we don't have book banning in VA** But she created chaos anyway because she's a "woman of principle." Needless to say that whenever this soccermom, busybody bitch gets bored she finds a new crusade or way to screw up the system. Which is especially sick since VA already has a very efficient local and state government system.
Look at Tipper Gore. She completely misconstrued the meaning of a Twisted Sister song. She turned a song that was written about one of them going through surgery into one about sado-masachistic sex. Says a lot about that kind of person. These people are zealots and they cannot be reasoned with. Their thought process has not one iota of logic.
How about you whores do something useful like, "Mothers Against Government Surveillance" or "Mothers Against Property Rights Violations." Oh no. That would require a committment to actually bettering the lot of everyone as opposed to allowing you people to feel like you've imposed morality on the hedonistic, unwashed masses. All the while you're pitching 100mph throws through your glass house's wall. And "ladies," don't even bring religion into this. Christ taught us to be mindful of our own behavior before we concern ourselves with that of others.
As for video game violence, video games, like art, imitate life in many ways. We live in a violent world. We live in a world where you can get shot by a thug in school because he's suffering from "$RACE Rage" or shot by a government agent in your home in a bogus drug raid. A world where religious zealots believe it is God's will that a nuclear bomb be detonated in one of the unbelievers' major cities. Welcome to reality people. The evening news, not video games, is what desensitizes us to violence.
Click here or a puppy gets stomped!
The orcs in War Craft III aren't violent,
they're misunderstood
They just want to be your friend!
HallmarkOrnaments.Com
"The Love of Joystick Is The Root of All Evil"? ;)
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
This site seems a little bit away from the sarcasm line that lets someone know they arent serious.
:) (a little sarcasm)
While it may seem blatantly obvious here on slashdot that this 'MUST' be fake or trying to be funny, im not so sure it is.
and remember, when people who read slashdot say video games aren't addictive and this site is ludicrous, its like asking the local crackwhore if drugs are addicitive.... you may be getting a skewed result.
People here spend more time as a keeper of the grove than father, son, or 'ever' as a boyfriend.
There's nothing Intelligent about Intelligent Design.
(Got in a Yaacov Smirnoff quote WITHOUT using "In Soviet Russia")
"Fact: Videogames aren't just for "fun" anymore, the videogame industry made a net income of $6.3 billion in 2002, surpassing even the movie industry." Fun is unrelated to money.
Bah humbug, the only thing having one causes is blindness and hairy palms... Oh wait..
Banaaaana!
Actually, despite my reluctance to agree with many of these extremists, I do tend to agree that violence in video games can desensitize folks to killing. One of the things they have to teach/overcome in basic training (in the USMC at least) is to overcome the natural reluctance people have to pulling the trigger to kill someone. The Corps wants to have Marines that will not hesitate at the "moment of truth" and this means reprogramming our basic reluctance to kill. To accomplish this, they have actually experimented with using commonly available computer games and some home built stuff to get soldiers to more readily pull the trigger.
The thing that worries me is that we have a whole generation that has been growing up with fairly realistic portrayals of killing in the first person shooters.
Visit Jonesblog and say hello.
"I hate moms just as much as the next guy, "
;)
hmmm, interesting, go on...
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Do you mean to tell me, with full seriousness, that you only just realised that joysticks have a shape reminiscent of a penis?
You sure are observant! I can't wait until you realise that balloons can be inserted into your shirt to give you the appearance of having breasts.
Y2K Compliant since the late 1890s
heh heh.. joystick.. heh heh.. root... heh heh. That was cool.
(That joke'll probably be more popular with Aussies than Americans.)
"Derp de derp."
Slashdot the site before my mom sees it!
These people should be less worried about violence and more worried about educating the youth of the world ...
...
...
... "fighting the war" on violence ...
It was because of video games that I have had MANY friends drop classes because it "iterfeared with my game plaing time" or even totally drop out of school. These "kids" would spend hours upon hours in the University computer labs, just plaing video games
Maybe they should form "Mothers Against Computer Labs" (MACL) instead of waisting their time "fighting" a battle against violence
The irony
HallmarkOrnaments.Com
All good parodies bring to light something that is "wrong" while suggesting corrective action. Usually that corrective action is absurd and this is why it is a parody. The parody that comes to mind (from a literature standpoint) is Johnathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal", and while his is a little more grizly the real meaning of the paper comes out crystal clear. I suspect that a lot of people on slashdot may be shocked and sort of disgusted at this parody - but there is a very real problem with video game abuse (not the video games or the industry) these days.
I knew someone, let's just call him Joe Geek. He'd wake up at 3am every day, play EverCrack until he leaves his home for work at 8:52am (of course Joe is supposed to be at work at 9am). Then Joe would stumble in to work and do little for a few hours while checking the boards... then a few hours of hard core work while dosing on caffiene and nicotine to keep awake until he left early at 4:25. The moment he got back to his house he would play until he passed out around 1am. Then his 3am alarm would go off and he'd start it all over again. After a few months of this he looked like a crystal meth freak and had to be torn away from the game.
Addiction and abuse are real no matter what the thing that is being abused is. Personally I think this is a good parody.
Wow - I wish I had signed up for the "Fool the Shit out of People 101" class instead of these useless computer science courses.
Whats next? Grifting 203 and the ever popular "Three card Monte" elective? All requirements for the BS in BS, of course.
Do you have Linux and a DotPal? Click here now!
IN SOVIET RUSSIA, VIOLENCE LEADS TO VIDEO GAMES!!!
(Sorry, couldn't resist).
lameness filter... too many caps... blah blah blah
Touch everywhere, even when inappropriate.
Games are rated, like movies. "Everyone" games are G-rated. "Teen" games are the equivalent of PG-13, and "Mature" games are for 17+. There's also an "Adult" category that is obviously not for kids. Parents should stop buying their kids Mature games like GTA3 and Mafia. These games were not meant for little kids. If you wouldn't take your kid to The Godfather, why would you give them a game where they can role play it?
Some really awesome entertainment intended for people over 17 gets a bad rap because parents aren't doing a good job at keeping these mature games away from kids. Spending your day peering through a sniper rifle or gunning down crowds is not good for anyone. It is a free country and if you're old enough, you can decide how much of this is ok. If you are a minor, the decision rests with your parents who hopefully will find something more constructive for you to do.
-m
Oh, sorry, that was The Root of All Evil...
Hey, wait a sec! That's me!
"They do not preach that their god will rouse them, a little before the Nuts work loose." Kipling, 'The Sons of Martha'
Uhhh!! Gamer .... not gammer ...
...
... like the war on spam email!
.... they are "fighting the war" on violence .... that has to make you chuckle ...
It is my spell'en that always ruins some of my most witty comments!
Besides, it doesn't say you have to be able to spell to post on slashdot
I'm just here to try to defend game players from around the worl from the evil forces of MAVAV!!!! My point is this: they need to do more research before attacking a group of people and probably find another cause that would better utilize their talents
Still, its kinda funny
HallmarkOrnaments.Com
Bullshit : The Sims it the more popular game ever. Unless you consider it as violent ...
theefer
The server for Mavav.org traces here: drakhath.net [216.226.142.104]
To a devious clan site, no less!
"When all else fails, there's always delusion." -Conan O'Brien
Errr, the fact that the site is a troll aside, sow. SOW! ;)
I'm the big fish in the big pond bitch.
Yea, I find it much more funny when some gub'mint officials pass more laws that take away basic rights, in this case limit what software I can buy or sell, based on a parody rather than doing it based on any real information. Real funny.
I'm an American. I love this country and the freedoms that we used to have.
Sure, how could any joystick with a name like Thrustmaster be accused of having any hidden Freudian meaning?
I'm an American. I love this country and the freedoms that we used to have.
Wacking: The Frightening Facts
Fact: Wacking isn't just for "fun" anymore, the self-enjoyment industry made a net income of $6.3 billion in 2002, surpassing even the movie industry. Developers profit and continue to take advantage of today's youth with cute, loveable, addictive, and recognizable characters. A practice and strategy similar to those used by the tobacco industry.
Fact: Wacking has been proven to prevent the development of the proper social skills and interaction needed for a long happy and enjoyable life. Young wackers are prone to being burdened with depression and sadness all throughout their life
Fact: Health studies have found that even those casual wackers suffer from low self-esteem and self-pride compared to their athletic and more socially accepted peers in their same age group. Young wackers were found to be more likely to become lifetime wacking addicts and becoming social outcasts.
Fact: Hardcore wacking not only leads to wacking addiction and abrupt lifestyle changes, but to crime and felony as well. Hardcore wackers never get girlfriends. Instead, downloading illegally cloned sheep or "sh33pz" is the only method acceptable by the underground. Buying a legit female is grounds for abandonment by community groups. You may not be buying your child lubricative substances, but they can illegally obtain them off the internet.
Self-spanking Addiction: What to Watch Out For
Symptom: Child spending numerous amount of time in their bedroom and at home
This is a classic sign of a growing addiction. The child spends the majority of his time at home in his bedroom, only breaking out of his "base" for food and bathroom breaks. This behavior is commonly known as a "wacking binge" which can last from a couple of hours, a whole night, and in some extreme circumstances, a full 24 to 48 hour wacking binge (occurring usually on weekends).
We highly recommend your child's bedroom be absent of all forms of electronic entertainment devices. This includes a home computer, and/or masturbation console systems. It is best for all electronic entertainment devices be placed in a common area where a clock is present and adult supervision is available. If this is not at all possible, we recommend having your child's door remain open and be checked in on every hour. Parents should be extra cautious around the time of bedtime until morning.
Encourage your child to be more active. Arrange for your child to go over to a friends house for the afternoon, setup a gathering party at your home, or even sign up your child for an after school sport or activity.
Symptom: Poor school grades
A typical report card by a troubled wacker:
Computer Education: Lame
English Poor
Mathematics Poor
Science Average
Social Studies Poor
Physical Education Excellent
Never assume drugs or otherwise is the problem for your child's poor academic performance. Wacking addiction is not to be under-estimated. It is a serious epidemic plaguing our children nationwide. We recommend getting professional psychiatric help.
Symptom: Unusual "Role-Playing"
Massive Multiplayer Online Rod Stroking Games (MMORSG) are a digital escape from the real world for emotionally unhealthy and mentally unstable people. It is a place for masturbation enthusiasts and social outcasts to gather un-bothered and un-harassed by the realities of real life.
While the focus and idea behind MMORSG seems utopian and innocent, the emotional and mental wellness of the wacker can be severely affected: increased anxiety and irritability, argumentative, appetite and weight loss, impaired judgment, paranoia, sadness and depression, loss of interest in appearance, and sleeplessness
Masturbation addiction has become so serious now that the mass-media now compares self-stimulation to alcohol and drug abuse.
MMORSG's are the most addicting genre of self-enjoyment available and developers are selfishly aware of these statistics. Developers take advantage of the situation by charging people hefty monthly rates for their "services" and release mediocre expansion pumps to keep the wanking fresh. We caution parents to never hand out credit card information or sign up their child for any suspicious online and monthly services.
MMORSG's were recently labeled as one of the top 10 leading causes of students dropping out of high school.
Masturbative Violence: The Hidden Dangers
Danger: Does masturbation make people violent?
Yes. What was once a debatable question, is now fact. New research has concluded that spanking your monkey and behavior related violence are in fact closely related.
Danger: Does masturbation teach people how to spurt?
Yes. When masturbation was linked to the Columbine high school shooters, a frenzy of new research was launched, in which, one team of researchers discovered that first person squirter games do indeed teach gamers with the basic knowledge of how to spurt. This research arrived be so conclusive that the U.S. government Army developed a free picture to be used as a virtual squirt camp and wacking simulator.
I just got this mental picture of a bunch of legislator coming across this site and immediately starting to "act on it". When those legislators start acting, watch out!
sic transit gloria mundi
Quick, we need some mothers to found a *real* MAVAV, one that preaches education and taking an interest in your children's activities. If we got a huge number of parents actually *reading* the ESRB ratings, and making sure they approve of what their kids are playing, we'd all be much better off.
No longer would parents say "Well, I had no idea that Grand Theft Auto 3 was about crime" since they would be a good parent and have done some research about the game they're buying Johnny (or at least read the back of the box).
If I have been able to see further than others, it is because I bought a pair of binoculars.
A good troll is better than a bad human.
A Good Troll is better than a Bad Human.
Not lonely, but another analyis could determine that I have too much broken junk on my shelves.
It is just a coincidence that some of it depicts male sex organs.
And AC, no I didn't go over and suck on the joysticks.
Saskboy's blog is good. 9 out of 10 dentists agree.
Just play a Counrty music album backwards, everything will be OK!
I can't believe you equated Tipper Gore with the "Read a banned book" woman.
It didn't occur to you that they are opposites?
Anyway, when the truth is that any teacher who DIRECTLY said some of the stuff that gets books banned would get fired instantly, I think a person who points out where the better thought out subversion is is doing a MUCH needed public service. Books that got banned in other places may not be banned in VA, but they still say things that your teachers can't say and that you TV won't. Stuff like: "religion is nonsense" and "you better learn to think for yourself because most people are idiots and the rest are liars"
Also, banned books prove how fucked up your neighbors who banned them are. Knowing that is an education in itself.
Still, I wish our busibodies were less shrill.
Major Danby replied indulgently with a superior smile, "But, Yosarian, what if everyone thought that way?"
"Then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?"
-- Catch 22
Dear MAVAV:
Please put your "articles" back online! Brutally assault your "editors" with a semi-automatic combination machine gun/rocket launcher/sword/flame thrower/child-molesting catholic priest if you have to! Don't worry, they'll be fine, it's just a video game!
Anyway, good luck getting the "articles" back online! Please hurry, I need a good laugh!
Cheers,
Mike
PS. Couldn't you have chosen a better acronym? Or, hell, a more worthy cause? MAVAV reminds me of the sound a democrat makes when he gets shot in the face by some buffed-up videogame superhero.
Karma: Incomprehensible (Mostly affected by posting at +5, reading at -1, and metamoderating everything unfair.)
from http://www.mavav.org/resources/...
Fact: Hardcore gaming not only leads to videogame addiction and abrupt lifestyle changes, but to crime and felony as well. Hardcore gamers never buy computer videogames. Instead, downloading illegally copied videogames or "warez" is the only method acceptable by the underground. Buying a legit copy is grounds for abandonment by community groups. You may not be buying your child videogames, but they can illegally obtain them off the internet.
EXCUSE ME!? I am a hardcore gamer, that spends sometimes hundredS of dollars a month, in addition to spending six to ten hours a day playing games. I am rabid about paying for my own games... I've refused offers for free games on many occassions (so, yes, 'piracy' is out there) and simply purchased my own $60 copy.
I'd love to see these FUD-sters slapped around.
My son loves the Power Rangers in all their marketed forms. His TV/VCR Combo broke (with Power Rangers Blue Adventure inside.)
He hasn't watched a Power Rangers video (or any video) for quite a while. The kicking has gone down to a dribble! He is truly less violent.
Now look, I am a parent in the same sense that I am a Sys Admin. I take both jobs extremely seriously and "keep up" with the times. I pay a lot of attention to my son and we have a prettyy good relationship. I have no problem watching what he watches, reading what he reads and generally making sure nothing weird/harmful is going into his brain. I honestly didn't see the Power Rangers as any great threat. But once thy were out of the picture I DID see a vast improvement in him re Violence.
So maybe, manybe, MAVAV has something there. We're all smart and have jobs/school what have you... but what about the dumb poeple who play GTA3 and start getting ideas? What about a 6 year old who gets his hands on GTA3? Does he know the difference?
My point, be a little tolerant. And try to think about things from both (all three, four, five) sides.
This
Yeah, jokes and satire can backfire politically.
There was no official list of words you can't broadcast and punishments for doing so when George Carlin came up with his "7 words you can't say on TV" routine.
But when that routine was played on a radio station in New York, the FCC got 1 complaint and used that as an excuse to make up a draconian set of rules.
Talking about censorship reminds me of a passage I just read in Christopher Hitchen's book, "letters to a young contrarian":
Theodor Adorno wrote that an artistically satisifying film could doubtless be made that met all of the terms and conditions of the Hays Office (the Hollywood censor of the day), but only as long as there was no Hays Office. I have always taken that observation to imply two things: First, virtue and merit can become their opposites if they are exacted or compelled. Second, no self description or definition can be relied upon.
Very mature response. Is it the games that made you so violent?
I fell for this. Totally and completely. It was early, I wasn't paying attention. I wrote a fairly long and thought out email to these people asking for more information and politely attacking their ideas. Now.. I pretty much feel like an ass.
I would love to see the article on Lan Parties. "These are awful parties where the kids hook up to each others computers and play games all night, instead of binge drinking, having unprotected sex, and experimenting with mind altering substance like normal american teenagers!"
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
I suppose it was only a matter of time before we saw a "ignorant rednecks against video games" group. Their "facts" are either blatant lies or misrepresentations of fact (Personally, I own every game I play. I also graduated from High School an honor student, with a paticular knack in English classes, where nearly every paper I wrote got 100%, including a couple group projects I decided to take on by myself because of the generally low aptitude and pathetic work ethic I found in my classmates(There's no 'I' in team, unless 'I' am literally doing all the work while being held back creatively by an idiot who is failing English). Being interested in technical things long before I owned my first computer (my interests included short wave radio, electronics, and reading fiction), I was a social outcast with people who were often more interested in snow mobiling and sports. Considering the niche of most things I enjoyed, my freinds were often outcasts as well(not to be confused with traditional nerds -- I was incredibly violent back then(before video games), but years ago I became a pacifist, never to get in another fight, or even another shouting contest, with another person, all while being a huge fan of video games), years before the words "video game" ever entered my vocabulary. To be honest, Video games are a common thread in my generation. Walk up to anyone about 18-30, and talk about video games, and they'll have something to say. This common thread is a boon to those like me who would have otherwise been social outcasts), and they seem to draw conclusions out of thin air(gamers more violent than football players? No fucking way!!!). They also seem intent on pegging social problems directly on video games, where their relationship cannot be even remotely substantiated. People like this are dangerously ignorant, and with their battlecry of "for the children!", are quite capable of circumventing the basic human rights of game developers such as myself(and no, game developers don't have to justify themselves to ANYONE to secure such rights. Anyone who thinks differently is a fascist).
Besides the frightening measures they recommend parents take to help curb this "dangerous" behaviour, or their conclusions, which are downright INSULTING, ON A FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL in some of their assertions, such as Americas army, which is described as "When videogames were linked to the Columbine high school shooters, a frenzy of new research was launched, in which, one team of researchers discovered that first person shooter games do indeed teach gamers with the basic knowledge of how to kill. This research arrived be so conclusive that the U.S. government Army developed a free videogame to be used as a virtual boot camp and killing simulator.". I don't believe there is a single trustworthy fact on the entire web site!
But hey, what do I know? Lets put our kids back in front of the TV set to teach them how they should be living their lives! I mean, there's no violence, no hatred, no ulterior motives, no manipulation of the ignorant masses(like ABC news and their continual smear campaign against video games) in the world of the benevolent TV, no racism, no death, and certainly not 3 months of non-stop coverage of the deaths of thousands of Americans in the twin towers on every channel in America. Lets put our kids back on the football field, since there's nothing more wholesome than teaching children about violence, the value of being bigger than the other guy, the fundamental truth that being good at sports can get you through your life. Lets send our kids back outside, where they are unsupervised, and free to explore things such as the birds and the bees (without parental supervision, no less!). Lets let them sit back and listen to the same music these peoples parents were calling the acts of satan, and listen to Eminem critisize his single mother, Brittany Spears rattle off another half-witted souless piece of musical garbage about the love she just has to have. Or, if those things are also to be taboo, just as video games are to be, why not ban everything? That way, there can be no Walter Cronkite in Vietnam, no sports heroes to inspire youth towards greatness, no understanding of the world outside your parents influence, no System of a downs War or Rage Against the Machines No Shelter. No Fortunate One by...whoever did Fortunate One (Was it CCR?). Destroy the world so we may save the innocent mind of a child, and sacrifice your future so you might live in peace, knowing that your child won't ever have to suffer the consequences of having a thought in his head not placed there by a greater authority. They can have great grades, be popular, be good at sports, and fill every fantasy you had for yourself but were too corrupted to accomplish yourself, and leave your children, who have grown up in your own falsified image, too ignorant of the world to function without being told what to do.
Congratualtions, ignorant idiots, you've destroyed your world. You destroyed it the moment you raised a child so desperate he killed 30 of his schoolmates. You destroyed it the moment you were brought kicking and screaming out of your little innocent utopia because of your own actions against your own children. Welcome to mine. Touch my video games, and I'll break your fingers. Touch them again, and I'll break your fingers. It might take a few dozen tries, but you might finally learn that having a "parent" pin on your chest doesn't mean that you have authority over any other individual. Here's how it works. Democracy. It means that if more people than you want something, you are out of luck. Get over it, it's the way the world should work. If you don't like the laws here, move. If you can't handle my freedom, go somewhere where they'll cut off yours as well. Then, just before you're executed by the witch hunting squad because you were talking about your beliefs in "detail too graphic for the poor children", you'll understand that it's for the good of the children.
It's been a long time.
to make it funny it needs more humour - that's why the Onion and Spinal Tap are/were very funny; they play the jokes like the real thing but just about anyone who looks at them knows it's a joke, yet they still exhibit enough of the roots of their humour and play it just straight enough (but not entirely straight) that people are occasionally fooled into believing they are real.
Now that's funny. MAVAV isn't funny at all. I didn't see one joke on there.
RTFM; please, I beg you.
It's called "Preemptive Slashdotting", and you should be grateful. Instead of waiting for the page to not load, you can read the "offline" statement in the article, and save yourself time by going straight to the discussion.
Wait... you don't go straight to the discussion without reading the article? What's wrong with you?
Any sufficiently well-organized community is indistinguishable from Government.
I am one of /.'s few Christians, and spend a good deal of my time defending Christianity around here. Although not Christian per se, MAVAV is gounded in socially conservative ideals many Christians share. As such, I feel it necessary to lend a voice of balance and moderation to this issue.
These people are fucking wacked.
Um, that's about all.
(I was disappointed with the "AI" game itself. They started out creating an interesting world, but ended up just making fans solve puzzles.)
A guy named "David" runs a group whose name starts "Mothers Against..."
Likewise, a guy named "Victor" and a guy named "Fred" run the web site for a group whose name starts "Daughters of the..."
Will I retire or break 10K?
Hell has no furry like a woman scorned for Sega.
Furry? Woman? Sega? Like this?
Oh, you meant fury.
Will I retire or break 10K?
Dead MAVAV,
Video games are no more of a cause of violence and anti social behavior among kids than television is. Let me tell you what the real problems are:
- baby boomer parents who are too self absorbed to be bothered to get involved in their child's life
(note that these same parents are the first to blame anything but themselves when their child turns out to be a social outcast, prone to violence, on drugs, gay, or *gasp* libertarian)
- poor role models in schools because teachers are grossly underpaid and mistreated, especially in urban schools where positive role models are needed the most
- the emphasis on conformity, beauty, and fitting in that our society places on our kids, the destructive criticism of all that makes a truly unique kid special
- political and corporate leaders that so obviously don't care about the earth, the economy, or fellow human beings and yet they are allowed to stay in power because our typical adult US citizen is too apathetic to get out and vote for change
And you wonder why kids constantly want to escape from reality. Why do you blame things you have no firsthand knowledge of for your own lack of parental skills.
This message brought to you by the Council of People Who Are Sick of Seeing More People.
"Facts" from their website:
Fact: Videogames aren't just for "fun" anymore, the videogame industry made a net income of $6.3 billion in 2002, surpassing even the movie industry. Developers profit and continue to take advantage of today's youth with cute, loveable, addictive, and recognizable franchise characters. A practice and strategy similar to those used by the tobacco industry.
Fact: Videogames have been proven to prevent the development of the proper social skills and interaction needed for a long happy and enjoyable life. Young gamers are prone to being burdened with depression and sadness all throughout their life
Fact: Health studies have found that even those casual gamers suffer from low self-esteem and self-pride compared to their athletic and more socially accepted peers in their same age group. Young gamers were found to be more likely to become lifetime gaming addicts and becoming social outcasts.
Fact: Hardcore gaming not only leads to videogame addiction and abrupt lifestyle changes, but to crime and felony as well. Hardcore gamers never buy computer videogames. Instead, downloading illegally copied videogames or "warez" is the only method acceptable by the underground. Buying a legit copy is grounds for abandonment by community groups. You may not be buying your child videogames, but they can illegally obtain them off the internet.
Wouldn't it be nice if they could back these claims up with some references? Wouldn't it be nice if people would think about the source of their children's problems rather than dogmatically blame every way they manifest these issues?
This message brought to you by the Council of People Who Are Sick of Seeing More People.
Just check this out:
December 30, 2002 Final Project: MAVAV.org
My MAVAV.org (Mothers Against Videogame Addiction And Violence) satire/parody/hoax web page was a success.
A summary and documentation can be found here.
And, apparently, this isnt the first hoax site done by David Yoo.
"You should never doubt what nobody is sure about." -- Willy Wonka
When I first got into playing the original Diablo online, I was having a hard time at the game. People kept killing me. Then I bougt Godly Plate of the Whales on eBay for $30,000. Now I have no home and I still suck at Diablo.
Sometime in the area of 2000-2001 you should have realized that all the people who make lots of money at computers spent all their time taking courses like "fool the shit out of people 101" and didn't bother to take a single CS course. CS courses are for employees, who are coincidentally a large cross-section of the people they were fooling the shit out of.
Thank god your attempt to post a link to furry pr0n on slashdot has failed. "No website configured" = server crashed while the admin was off masturbating to "Lady and the Tramp"...
Freedom: "I won't!"
So you're to blame for
- Dec. 17th's PvP
and likely countless others! ("Countless" because I haven't even tried to find 'em...)and
Dec. 27th's Angst Tech
Cool.
"...America's great minds of today, teaching America's great minds of tomorrow. Poor bastards." -- A Beautiful Min
Pretty much like that alien dog-like race whose primary means of communication is gnawing on your thigh (on the parallel Earth), isn't it?
Caption: [ The peaceful Dog People of Sirrus 4 had arrived and began to negotiate a trade pact until another human, mistaking the Sirrus 4's efforts as frantic leg humping, threw a bucket of cold water upon the Ambassador. ]
Ah, I miss The Parking Lot is Full webpage.
Such a wonderful source of delightfully deranged comedy.
"Face it, a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
Since the content of games is driven by the largest market, perhaps America can look forward to games with less violence, and more sex. With games such as Quake III Arena and Unreal Tournament being directly responsible for the Columbine massacre, I think this change in emphasis could only be a good thing. I've always been puzzled by our American morality whereby it is perfectly acceptable to show a person being violently physically assaulted, and yet to show two human beings making love is completely censored by our prudish tv networks.
(From the desk of the flippant impulse skimmer)
I suppose the Columbine massacre would have been different in a different way if the two anti-social kids had been instigating an orgy of sex in place of murder.
"Face it, a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.